A/N — FFN hasn't been sending me alerts so hopefully people can see this update. xoxo — kals
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Chapter 8: 'Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go
Three Weeks Before Season 5
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"Daddy!" Frankie came tearing through the arcade the instant that Danny walked in the door.
"Hey buddy," he swept the four-year-old up in a tight hug, only realizing when he set him down that Frankie looked different. Older, perhaps a little taller, his sandy hair cut shorter than usual. But the biggest change was in his face. Frankie had slimmed down, his baby cheeks now completely gone, and was now clearly a little boy rather than a preschooler. It occurred to Danny that he hadn't seen his son in more than three months, his longest absence since he first held Frankie on that day in St. Louis.
"I beat our score!" Frankie exclaimed, tugging his father towards the games. "Come see, Daddy."
Allowing Frankie to pull him along, Danny scanned the restaurant, locating Kara on the back wall. Taking a quick second glance, he realized that she wasn't alone. Instead, Alisha sat across the booth, the two apparently drinking wine and eating something. Danny wasn't sure whether that was a good sign or a bad sign. Probably neutral, he decided. Alisha hadn't even pretended to be nice when they ran into each other at Command yesterday. On the flip side, if Kara were still really pissed, she could have left Frankie here with Alisha to supervise and avoided him completely. Feeling buoyed by the fact that Kara was here and not avoiding him, Danny turned his attention back to Frankie.
"How about a little Mario?"
"Yeah!" Frankie darted off in that direction, one which took them directly by the table where Kara and Alisha sat. As he darted by, Frankie stopped at Kara's table for just a second. "Mommy! Daddy's here. We're playing Mario."
Danny didn't hear the response. Taking advantage of the opportunity, Danny quickly caught up with Frankie. Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to Kara's cheek. He thought that she might have flinched, but at least she didn't pull away. "Thanks for bringing him tonight."
Her eyes flickered up to him, calm and composed, and telling him exactly nothing. "Of course."
"Daddy, let's go!"
With a shrug of his shoulders, Danny followed Frankie to the Mario Kart game, considering his game plan. The one that he and Carlton developed once Danny realized just how colossally fucked he was.
He had been furious when he stomped into Burk's apartment on Sunday night, unable to believe that Kara had given back her wedding ring. How could she do that? She was supposed to support him, damn it, for better or for worse. All he wanted was some time to get things figured out. And instead of giving him that time and space he needed, she was making demands. Insisting that he do the one thing that he couldn't — move back to the house.
Carlton was the one to point out the obvious.
"Looks like you are getting your own place then," Carlton said calmly. "Probably better to have the divorce paperwork delivered there given that Kara's my CO. People might get the wrong idea."
"What?" Danny stopped pacing and glared at the other man. "Who said anything about getting divorced?"
Carlton crossed his arms. "You moved out and refused to go back. She returned the ring and told you that it was over. That's pretty clear, man. The next step is filing for divorce. So you should probably start looking for an apartment. Be a little awkward bringing a date back when you're sleeping on the couch."
Danny scoffed. "Kara wouldn't do that."
Carlton raised an eyebrow. "You have met your wife, sorry I meant ex-wife, right? Because the reason she's so good at bluffing is..."
"Because she never bluffs," Danny interrupted, dropping into a chair, Carlton's bomb enough to knock him off his feet. He might want space and time, but the idea of a future without Kara and Frankie in it... He might not know what he wanted, but he knew that he didn't want that. Hell, that was the reason he left in the first place, to make sure he never had to face that scenario. He groaned, dropping his head into his hands. "How do I fix this, Burk?"
"Go home?" Carlton suggested.
Danny squeezed his eyes together. He couldn't go back to that, to pretending that everything was okay when nothing was. Just the thought was paralyzing. "I can't. Not yet."
Carlton was quiet for a long time. "Can't say I get what the hang-up is, man, but if you want to try to salvage things with Foster, then you do the only thing you can. You use the kid to buy time."
So the plan was hatched. Step 1, set up a meeting at a neutral location. Step 2, visit with Frankie — because even Carlton agreed that Kara would never try to get between Frankie and his dad. Step 3, make contact with Kara. Step 4, convince her not to do anything official until he got back. Steps 1 to 3 were now done. Only Step 4 to go. The fact that Carlton thought the likelihood of Step 4 succeeding was in the single digits meant nothing. Danny had pulled off missions with far worse odds.
"Are you leaving again, Daddy?" Frankie's soft words brought Danny back to the present.
Danny set down the ski ball that he was holding, kneeling before his son. "Yeah, Frankie. I'm deploying. But I'll be back in a few months."
Frankie nodded. The acceptance of a child too used to having one parent or the other gone. "And will you live with us again? Or with Uncle Carlton?"
The question hurt more than Danny expected. He had thought that Frankie was too young to understand what was going on between his parents. Danny forced himself to be honest, strongly suspecting that anything he said here would get back to Kara. "I don't know, Frankie. That's something I need to discuss with your mom. But wherever I live, I will still see you. Okay?"
"You promise?"
You promised me that you would not make me raise that child by myself, Danny. You promised.
Kara's words rang in his ears. Danny nodded. "I promise, bud. You think it's time for some pizza now?"
"Yeah!" But instead of racing off, Frankie grabbed Danny's hand, chattering about school as they wove through the crowd to the table. Before Kara could move to the other side of the booth, Danny slid into the seat next to her, leaving Frankie to sit with Alisha. If the look on Alisha's face was any indication, she wasn't fooled by the move.
Still, she turned to Frankie with a smile. "Are you really Franklin Daniel Green? Because I think you've grown a foot since the last time that I saw you."
Frankie giggled. "It's me, Auntie Leshia. Did Aunt Kelsi come too?"
"Nope, not tonight." Alisha pulled a plate over. "Time for you to eat. I want to hear all about swim lessons. Are you really learning frog kicks now?"
Danny blinked. When had Frankie made the leap from doggie paddling to actual swimming? He glanced at Kara, who shrugged. "He moved into the older group last month. You've been gone a long time, Danny."
Confirming that Frankie was sufficiently distracted by his conversation with Alisha — Alisha, on the other hand, was clearly eavesdropping — Danny turned to Kara. "About the other night..."
"This isn't the time or place," Kara said quietly, eyes indicating the arcade full of families.
"I know, I know." He paused, forgetting everything he planned to say now that he was actually faced with asking her the one thing that mattered. "Will you wait to make any decisions on anything until I get back?"
For the longest time Kara didn't move, and Danny was sure that she was going to say no. That Carlton was right after all.
He had lost them after all.
Then, finally, Kara nodded. "Fine. We'll talk then."