Jeremy's True Love Part Three
Jeremy gasped at Jonah's words. He gently pulled the child to himself giving him a hug.
"I'm sorry, Jonah. I'm very sorry." Jeremy said tearfully.
Jeremy stood up still holding Jonah in his arms. Candy stepped up to them. She put one hand on Jonah's back and her other hand on Jeremy's back.
"Jeremy…." Candy said softly.
Jeremy looked at his wife. Candy could see the torment in his eyes.
"Take him inside, please." He said handing Jonah to her. "I'm going to my brothers' cabin. I'll be back."
Candy took Jonah into her arms. She watched her husband run down the street toward the cabin.
"Jeremy sad?" Jonah asked as they went into Lottie's.
"Jeremy is okay." Candy told the boy as she searched the crowd for Lottie.
When Candy spotted Lottie, she moved to her quickly. "Lottie, this is Jonah. Could you watch him for a few minutes, please? Jonah, this is Miss Lottie."
"I will be happy to take care of this young fellow. I'll bet you like cookies, don't you?" She asked him.
"Yeah!" Jonah smiled.
"Thank you, Lottie!" Candy said handing Jonah to her.
Candy looked around for Jason. She saw him sitting at a table with Joshua, Aaron, and Ben. She hurried to him.
"Jason, I need to talk to you and Joshua, please." Candy said.
The two brothers excused themselves and followed Candy to the door.
"What's wrong, Candy?" Jason asked noticing that Jeremy was not in the saloon.
"The little boy with Lottie is Rafe Holiday's son. He is an orphan. He told Jeremy and me a few minutes ago." Candy answered.
Jason and Joshua glanced at the child.
"Where is Jeremy?" Jason asked.
"He ran to your cabin." Candy replied.
"Jeremy blames himself, doesn't he?" asked Joshua.
"Yes, you know how tender hearted he is and how seriously he takes his responsibility for other people." Candy answered.
"Come on, Josh!" Jason exclaimed. "Candy, are you coming with us?"
"I certainly want to help Jeremy, but I think he needs his brothers most right now." She answered.
Jason nodded at Candy. He and Joshua left the saloon headed for their cabin. The brothers ran to their home.
When they entered the dwelling, they did not see Jeremy. Both of them listened. They heard muffled crying coming from Jason's bedroom.
Jason and Joshua went to the bedroom door and knocked. Jeremy did not respond.
Jason slowly opened the door. Jeremy was on his knees by the bed. His face was on his folded arms on the bed. The two older brothers got on their knees on either side of him.
"Jeremy, Candy told us about Jonah." Jason said calmly.
"Jeremy, it's not your fault. You killed Holiday in self-defense." Joshua told him.
"Please say something, Jeremy." Jason told him.
Jeremy looked up from the bed. "I made that child an orphan, Jason! I know how awful it is to be an orphan and I caused a four-year-old boy to feel that way!" Jeremy shouted.
"No, Jeremy, you didn't make Jonah an orphan. His father did that. You didn't have a choice but to kill Holiday. He told you he was going to kill you and he pointed a gun at your head. You were shot by that thug when he tried to kill you a year ago. There was no way you could take a chance trying to talk him out of it. It's terrible that the boy is an orphan, but that's not your fault, Jeremy." Jason said.
"Jason, I know in my mind that it isn't my fault. But in my heart, I feel responsible. You're right that I had no choice but to shoot Holiday. When I remember how much it hurt to lose Mama at five years old and then Dad just three years later, it sickens me to know I had a part in causing that pain for Jonah. Even though my part was necessary." Jeremy said.
"You have a good heart, Jeremy. I understand that you empathize with Jonah because we lost Mom and Dad so young. But please don't torture yourself, brother." Joshua told him. "It is agonizing for us when you stop talking and withdraw from us."
"I don't mean to hurt either of you when I do that. It's just…" Jeremy hesitated.
"Just what, Jeremy? You can tell us." Jason looked him in the eye.
"It's just that part of me is still broken. Part of me will always be that little backward Bolt boy." Jeremy breathed raggedly.
"JEREMY!" Jason and Joshua exclaimed in unison.
Jason swallowed hard. Joshua blinked back tears.
"Jeremy, let's stand up." Jason said.
The three brothers stood up. Jason held Jeremy by his shoulders and looked into his eyes.
"Jeremy, you are not broken. You have never been broken. Also, you have never been the backward little Bolt boy. The people who said those cruel things to you, they are the ones who have something missing or something wrong. Not you!" Jason pleaded.
"Thank you, Jason. I appreciate everything you did for me, and Josh after Mama and Dad died. I know you worked hard to take care of us. You weren't much more than a kid then yourself." Jeremy told him.
"Thank you, Jeremy. I know it was hard losing our parents so young. It was difficult for me too and I was almost a grown man." Jason replied.
"Are you ready to go, Jeremy? Are you alright?" Joshua asked.
"Yes, I'm ready. I'm alright too." Jeremy answered.
The two older brothers looked at each other. The youngest brother said the right words, but he didn't sound convincing.
Jeremy and his brothers went back to Lottie's. Jeremy spent the rest of the afternoon talking to the children. He spent a little extra time with Jonah.
Jeremy's wife and brothers thought he seemed okay. However, they knew he was still upset.
For the next two weeks, Jeremy worked hard finding homes for the dozen children. At the end of the two weeks, families had been found for all of them except Jonah. When Jeremy told prospective parents about Rafe's background, they did not want Jonah. Jeremy even thought briefly about not telling the background, but he decided against it because it would be dishonest.
Not being able to find the boy a home made Jeremy feel more guilty about the child being an orphan. Then the nightmares started again. In them Jeremy would kill Rafe and Jonah would step out screaming and crying about Jeremy making him an orphan or Rafe would kill Jeremy because Jeremy hesitated to shoot him when he saw Jonah. In one nightmare, Jonah killed Jeremy for killing his father.
One morning after one of the nightmares, Jeremy stopped talking.
"Good morning, Jeremy!" Candy said.
Jeremy looked at her with sadness in his eyes. Tears slowly ran down his face.
"Oh, Jeremy! I have been afraid of this. But I thought since a few weeks have passed that it wouldn't get this bad for you. I'm sorry, sweetheart. I won't try to make you talk because I know you can't right now. Please don't withdraw any more than this. Let me still love you and take care of you." Candy gazed into his eyes. "I love you, Jeremy."
Candy embraced Jeremy. She could feel his heart pounding. She whispered sweet soothing words in his ear. "I love you. You are so precious to me. I'm here, sweetheart, I'm here. I love you with all my heart."
Slowly, Jeremy's heart rate returned to normal.
Later in the morning, Jeremy took a nap. While he was asleep, Candy hurried to town. She told Jason, Joshua, Pastor Adams, and Lottie that Jeremy had stopped talking. All of them were upset to hear that. Jason and Joshua said they would come to the cabin shortly. Pastor Adams said Jeremy could have as much time off as he needed. Lottie cried remembering other times that Jeremy stopped speaking. Candy rushed home. She didn't want Jeremy to wake up and find he was alone.
After Candy left Lottie's, Jason and Joshua had another cup of coffee.
"Josh, do you remember the first time Jeremy stopped talking?" Jason asked.
"I think it was at home not long after Mom died." Josh answered.
"That's right. One night Jeremy started crying and saying I want Mama over and over again. Dad tried to console him, but Jeremy just couldn't calm down. Finally, because of frustration and his own grief, Dad yelled, Jeremy, your mother's dead! She can't help you anymore and you know it! Jeremy jerked his head up from Dad's shoulder and looked Dad in the eye. Jeremy's tears stopped immediately and so did his talking. Jeremy didn't make a sound for two whole weeks." Jason remembered.
"Yes, I remember Dad spent almost the whole two weeks begging Jeremy to talk." Joshua said.
"Are you ready, Joshua? Let's go try to get our brother to talk." Jason said.
"I'm ready to try but I don't imagine that we will have any more success than Dad did years ago." Joshua replied.
Jason nodded in agreement.
The brothers went to Jeremy and Candy's cabin. Jeremy was sitting on the porch.
"Hello, Jeremy!" Jason and Joshua said.
Jeremy looked at them.
The older brothers sat down in chairs on the porch.
"Jeremy, please talk to us. We will try to help. I know you are worried about not having a new home for Jonah yet. But you have done a remarkable job of finding eleven homes in two weeks." Jason said.
"Yeah, Jeremy. There has to be more people that haven't been contacted yet." Joshua told him.
Jeremy looked at his brothers and shrugged.
"What about Lottie?" Joshua asked.
"No, Josh. I talked to Lottie. She said as much as she would love to have Jonah, she is just too old to start raising a small child." Jason answered.
"Where is Candy?" Jason asked.
Jeremy pointed to the cabin meaning she was inside.
"Jeremy, I am most concerned about you, brother. However, I don't know what else to tell you. You know you killed Holiday in self-defense. You know you are not responsible for Holiday's background or the fact that families won't adopt Jonah because of it. The only thing I can tell you is that I love you and I miss you talking." Jason looked sadly at Jeremy.
"Me too, Jeremy." Joshua said.
Jeremy gave his brothers a sad smile.
Three days later, Lottie brought Jonah to see Jeremy.
"Hello, Jeremy. This little guy misses you terribly. Can he visit with you for about an hour?" Lottie asked. "I explained to him about you not talking.
Jeremy smiled and nodded.
Jonah ran and climbed into Jeremy's lap.
"I'll be back in a little while to get you, Jonah." Lottie smiled. "Bye, Jeremy."
"Okay, Miss Lottie." Jonah replied.
Jeremy smiled at Lottie.
Lottie returned to the saloon.
Jonah stood up in Jeremy's lap and turned around to face him.
"Are you sad, Jeremy?" Jonah asked.
He nodded. Jeremy put his arms around Jonah pulling him close.
"You don't love me anymore, do you?" Jonah sobbed.
Jeremy moved Jonah so he could look in his face. Jeremy touched the tears on Jonah's cheek and shook his head no meaning don't cry.
Jeremy put his hand over his heart and then placed his hand over Jonah's heart. He did that a few times to tell Jonah that he loves him.
"If you love me, why won't you tell me, Jeremy? I know you are sad. Maybe if you say you love me, you won't be sad anymore." Jonah said.
Candy was in the kitchen listening closely to what Jonah was saying. She was also praying that Jeremy would be able to talk.
"Please Jeremy. Say you love me. Mama used to tell me she loved me. Daddy told me sometimes. I don't think he meant it. I don't think he knew how to love. You know how to love, Jeremy. You know how really good. I heard people saying that you ain't talking because you are sad about me not having a mama and a daddy. You caint help it that they died. But if you tell me that you love me, you will make some of my hurt feel better. I want the hurt to feel better, Jeremy." Jonah put his arms around Jeremy's neck.
Jeremy sighed deeply. He held Jonah close, rubbing circles on his back.
"I L-L-Love y-y-you, J-J-Jonah." Jeremy sobbed.
"Jeremy! You talked! I love you!" Jonah jumped up and down in Jeremy's lap.
Candy came running into the parlor. "Oh, Jeremy! I'm so glad you are talking."
Jeremy smiled. "Thanks to my b-b-buddy, J-J-Jonah."
When Lottie came to pick up Jonah, Jeremy invited them to stay for supper. Lottie agreed. She was overjoyed that Jeremy was talking again.
During supper, Candy was so happy, she almost cried. The cabin was filled with the sounds of love, laughter, and Jeremy's beautiful voice.
Later that night, when they were in bed, Candy and Jeremy had a conversation.
"Jeremy, may I talk to you about something?" asked Candy.
"Yes." he answered.
"What would you think about us adopting Jonah?" She asked.
"Candy, are you serious?" Jeremy questioned.
"You sound like you think it's a bad idea." Candy replied.
"No, I think it's a great idea! I just didn't know if you would agree after everything Rafe put us through." He said.
"I think it's a wonderful idea. Jonah is attached to us especially you; we are well aware of his father's history, and we can separate our feelings about Rafe from our feelings about Jonah." Candy said.
"There is just one thing that worries me, Candy. If we adopt Jonah, how is he going to feel years from now when he finds out I killed his father?" Jeremy wondered.
"Well, sweetheart, Jonah is only four years old, and he knows that Rafe didn't know how to love other people. Since he knows that at such a young age, by the time he's old enough for you to tell him what happened, he should be able to understand that it was self-defense." Candy replied.
"You're right, Candy. I will go back to work tomorrow, and we can tell Reverend Adams of our plans. Then we can talk to Jonah. You don't think he might not want us, do you?" Jeremy frowned.
"Jeremy! Jonah loves you! He will be thrilled when we tell him. You are just nervous. I love you, sweetheart. I'm glad you want to adopt Jonah."
Candy kissed him on the cheek.
"I love you too, Candy. I am nervous like you said. I love Jonah very much. I'm happy that you love him and want him too." Jeremy kissed his wife tenderly on her lips.
They fell asleep in each other's arms.
The next day, the excited couple talked to Pastor Adams about them adopting Jonah. He thought that was an excellent idea. He sent a telegram to the Children's Aid Society in Olympia. Pastor Adams received a reply later in the day. An agent would make a home visit within the week.
Jeremy and Candy talked to Jonah. He kept saying, "You want me forever?"
The Bolts assured him that they wanted him forever.
"Jonah, let me ask you something. Do you want us forever?" Jeremy inquired.
"Yes! I want you and Candy forever too! I will have a mama and a daddy forever!" Jonah hugged Jeremy tightly. The happy child gave Candy a kiss on her cheek.
The adoption went smoothly. Jeremy and Candy told Mrs. Forbes, the Children's Aid Society agent about their history with Richard Holiday. Mrs. Forbes confirmed with the Sheriff's Office in Port Angeles that it was a case of self-defense. Within two months, Jonah Holiday became Jonah Benjamin Bolt.
Jeremy and Candy loved Jonah so much. They showered him with hugs and kisses every day. Jonah loved them dearly as well. He was excited to have a family again. Every time they went to town or went to visit someone, he proudly announced that his name was Jonah Benjamin Bolt. On the Sundays that Jeremy preached, he grinned from ear to ear when Jonah would call out, hey Daddy! from the congregation.
Late one night three months after the adoption was final, Jonah woke up crying. Candy and Jeremy ran to their son's room.
Jeremy lit the lantern in the room.
"Daddy! Daddy! I don't feel good!" Jonah held both arms out to Jeremy.
Jeremy sat on the side of the bed. He embraced his boy. Jonah was burning with fever. Candy was on the other side of the bed.
"Jeremy, I need to examine Jonah, please." She said nervously.
Jeremy let go of Jonah. He looked at Candy worriedly.
Candy felt the child's forehead. She looked at his arms, legs, and stomach. She looked at his tongue. Candy sighed and shook her head.
"Mama needs to talk to Daddy for a minute. Then we are going to make you feel better." Candy told Jonah.
"Okay, Mama." Jonah replied.
Candy and Jeremy went out of the room.
"What's wrong with him, Candy?" Jeremy was on the verge of tears. "It's bad, isn't it?"
"I'm afraid so, Jeremy. He has scarlet fever." Candy put her arms around Jeremy. He drew her close. Both of them cried.
They stopped crying shortly and began taking care of their son.
Jeremy filled the tub with ice cold water. He placed Jonah in the tub. The child cried because of the harsh temperature of the water.
"Lemme out, Daddy. Lemme out." Jonah whimpered.
"I know the cold water is uncomfortable, buddy. But you have to stay in it for a while to make your fever come down so you can get better. Daddy has been in cold tubs of water for fevers before, I know it hurts."
Candy came into the washroom with some Willow Bark Tea.
"Jonah, try to drink some of this, sweetheart. It will help your fever." She told her son.
Jonah took a few sips. He held his neck as he swallowed.
"Does your throat hurt, sweetie?" Candy asked.
"Yes, Mama." Jonah answered.
Candy looked at her husband. He looked frightened.
"The Willow Bark Tea will make you feel a bit better. The cold water will bring your fever down and that will help you feel better too." Jeremy told Jonah.
"How long til my fever comes down, Daddy?" Jonah looked at Jeremy.
"How long, Mama?" Jeremy looked at Candy.
"About an hour." Candy answered.
"Mama!" Jonah and Jeremy said together.
"So, I'm the bad guy, huh?" She laughed.
"Yes, but you are a beautiful bad guy, isn't she, Jonah?" Jeremy asked.
"Yes, Daddy. Mama is bootifull." Jonah agreed.
The hour went by. Candy checked the child's fever and found it to be much lower. She and Jeremy were relieved.
The young parents got their son out of the tub. Candy dried him and dressed him in dry long johns. Jeremy got a cot and set it up in their bedroom. They wanted Jonah close to them during his sickness. Jeremy stoked the fire in the bedroom fireplace.
The Bolt family settled in for the rest of the night.
Two hours later, Jonah woke up crying, "Hurt! Hurt!"
Jeremy and Candy rushed over to him.
"Where does it hurt, buddy?" Jeremy was frantic.
"Here." Jonah replied rubbing his chest. "My heart hurts, Daddy."
"We are going to make it better, son." Jeremy reassured him.
Candy touched Jonah's head. "Jeremy, he's burning up again."
"We are taking him to Dr. Wright. Get his blanket, please, Candy." Jeremy replied.
Jeremy wrapped Jonah in his blanket. He and Candy ran with Jonah to Dr. Wright's Clinic.
"Dr. Wright!" Jeremy shouted as they ran toward the door.
The doctor was awake. She heard Jeremy and she opened the door.
"Jonah has Scarlet Fever, Dr. Wright." Candy said.
"Go to exam room four, Jeremy. The oxygen tent is set up in there. Please place Jonah in the tent. I can examine him in it." Dr. Wright said.
Jeremy ran with his son and placed him where the doctor told him.
Dr. Wright examined Jonah immediately.
"Has he had Scarlet Fever before?" Dr. Wright asked.
"We weren't able to get any of his medical history. Mrs. Forbes tried to acquire it. But she could not find any medical records." Candy responded.
Dr. Wright looked grim. "That's disturbing. It could indicate that Jonah has never had medical care or at least very limited medical care."
"What's wrong with him, doctor? Isn't it Scarlet Fever?" Jeremy asked.
"It's Scarlet Fever. However, it appears that Jonah has had it before. It seems to have affected his heart." Dr. Wright said somberly.
"W-W-What d-d-does that m-m-mean?" Jeremy stammered.
"It means that Jonah could die." Dr. Wright answered.