A Warrior's Mind, a Lover's Heart
Chapter 35: Remembering the better times
Every breath that Teyshan took felt like a labor of wills to keep going. He could feel that will still crumbling despite Melina's best efforts to keep him moving forward. She had been incredibly patient with him. Yet deep inside of his heart. Teyshan had given up on living earlier back at Hayshek's compound. That darkness still dwelled deep inside. No matter how much he tried pushing that feeling away to the back of his mind, it just kept creeping back up bigger and stronger. The Prothean was leaning against the desk, his golden hue's staring out into the endless abyss of stars. That same endless abyss he felt deep inside of his soul. The same abyss that threatened to take his mind away from his body again. Teyshan just wanted to claw it out of his arms. Hoping that it would somehow release from his body. The Prothean didn't want to deal with this darkness any longer. Raising up his arm, Teyshan activated his omnitool and slowly slid his form down onto the chair sitting next to him. Flicking through his files, he scrolled past each of the others until he found one that caught his eyes. Pulling it up, a picture of Melina was opened. Holding his arm out in front of him, Teyshan looked over the woman's happy smile. So much joy, so much innocence. It pained him to know what she was dealing with. Straightening himself up in the chair, he continued to look over the woman's worry free features in the photo. This was shortly before the first attempt on his life. Before they had gotten together. Yet she was still so happy and full of joy. They would look forward to each day, waking up. Making breakfast, their morning chats before they headed off to the dig site. The woman was always so full of questions, wanting to pick his brain of anything she could peel out of him. He still had his walls up around her during that time but she was stubborn and continued to break through them piece by piece.
Now that was not the case anymore.
Each day meant waking up to new horrors. Instead of waking up to breakfast and coffee with happy chats about the dig site. Teyshan would wake to his never-ending nightmares. He would wake to see Melina jolted awake. Her hair curls messy, her beautiful face full of worry. He couldn't bare to see this morning after morning. Yet the woman kept chasing that darkness away from his mind. He would bury himself into her arms, to search for that warmth. She truly did love him and he was forever thankful for her. Without her, he would have died. Yet Teyshan didn't want to have to put her through that.
A knock on the door broke the Prothean out of his thoughts.
Lowering his arm, Teyshan stood up from the chair and slowly made his way over to the door. Raising his arm up, his hand hovered over the access pad for a few moments. He didn't feel like chatting with anyone right now. He had kept the door locked pretty much all day, separating himself from the rest of the crew. Blowing a quick sigh, Teyshan raised his hand up and unlocked the door. Watching the door slide apart, disappearing into the wall. His golden hues met the gaze of Melina standing outside of the door, her hands clasped together. She was biting her bottom lip. Something she often did when she was unsure about something.
"May I come in?" Melina's cloudy hues gazed up at the Prothean, so full of concern. They were always full of concern. This made Teyshan's heart ache.
"Yes, Melina." Teyshan backed himself away from the door. Leaning against the wall.
The woman took a step inside of the room. For once it was bright enough for her to make out where everything was. Rubbing her hands together she looked around the room before slowly turning her form towards Teyshan. Her body language was screaming how uncomfortable and unsure she was. Dropping her hands down to her sides. Her cloudy hues finally looked up from the ground and met up with Teyshan's own gaze.
"Have you had your bandages changed recently?" Her soft voice broke the ever growing silence between them
"I do not wish to see the doctor right now. Please" The Prothean words rolled off of Teyshan's tongue. Not really realizing he had slipped back into speaking his mother tongue.
"Ok fine if you don't want to, will you let me change them?" Melina crossed her arms.
The silence immediately grew between them once more. Both in shock.
"Wait.. " Melina looked down at the floor of their room. Growing confused.
""Did you just… understand that Melina?" Teyshan stood up from the wall.
Melina looked up from the floor and ran her hand over her mouth briefly. It made perfect sense in her mind. Yet she couldn't get herself to speak it if she tried.
"Maybe I'm picking up bits of your language every time you read me or perhaps everytime we share memories. I.. I don't know.." A half smirk developed on her face.
"It would make sense to me Melina, when I first met you that was when I was able to learn your language. I do wonder if it works in reverse as well. Just at a slower pace for you since you are not Prothean." Teyshan moved a bit closer to her. He was wearing his leather gloves like normal. Reaching up, he ran his fingers down her jaw, making the woman dip her head into his hand, her cloudy hues closing for a moment. He could feel Melina relax under his touch.
"Melina, may I ask you something?" Teyshan dropped his hand, allowing the woman to focus.
"Sure."
"Back, long ago. When you were hit by that Reaper. How did you take that. When you woke up in the hospital. Knowing you weren't dead but alone?" Teyshan's voice dipped. Knowing this would be a sensitive topic for Melina.
Melina slowly sank down onto the floor, sitting next to where Teyshan was standing up against the wall. Her eyes closed for a moment as she pondered the question. A lot of the time she had spent in the hospital was drifting in and out of consciousness. She remembered moments, the initial blast. The Batarians rescued her. Then she was out of consciousness until she was in the hospital. Then all she knew was hearing so many different voices. She couldn't initially understand what was going on. Her eyes were covered and she felt the bandages wrapped so tightly around her arm and shoulder. Breaking herself out of the brief thought, her head turned towards Teyshan's direction. Clearing her throat, she tipped her head, steeling herself.
"It was horrible. There were so many voices. Some I had begun to recognize. I had a couple of doctors who would check in on me often. I had held out hope that one of those voices would be one I would know though. One I would truly know. I didn't know what had happened to everyone else in the colony. Nobody was telling me anything. So all I could focus on was the fact that I needed to heal and that maybe just one day I would hear a voice from someone I loved. It's what kept me going every day." Melina's head dipped as she thought about that time. It made her stomach churn thinking about those quiet moments she would ponder if everyone had ended up dying. She hated those moments but she tried not to think about it often.
"That is what I must do." Teyshan broke the silence.
Melina looked up from the floor. She could see those golden hues cutting through the darkness like it never existed. "What do you mean?" Melina was a bit puzzled.
"What had got you through that time. As you said was that hope you once held out for. I need to hold onto hope Melina. I need to focus on healing. If I just keep wanting to lose my mind to this darkness I feel. I will lose myself. Lose you Melina. That cannot happen." Teyshan's sub-vocals were tense.
The woman slowly stood up to her feet and reached her hand out. Her fingers drawing across his tense jaw. She could feel him gritting his teeth, until he relaxed under her touch. Her dark cloudy eyes still gazed into his own golden hues. Each pair blinking separately. He took her in, always drinking in the very shape of her form. The Prothean could never get enough in of his Melina. She was his reason to keep from turning towards that darkness that was always beckoning for him.
"I know this has not been easy on you Melina. But I promise you that I will fight to heal. I will fight to bring down Hayshek. To end all of this pain he brought us. I vow you this." Teyshan's voice was deep. Melina could feel it in the pit of her soul whenever he talked at this octave.
Dropping her hands down at her sides, she walked a step back and turned towards the Prothean, eyeing the bed next to her. Teyshan pulled himself away from the wall and slowly sat down on the bed, giving Melina enough room to sit next to him. It was a lot more comfortable than just sitting on the floor or even in the chair to his desk. Melina took a step back towards the doorway and pulled in a small back from the hall. Taking a step back towards the bed, she sat down next to Teyshan's heavy form, pulling the bag up next to her, sitting it on the bed.
"Can I change your bandages?" Her voice grew soft.
"Yes, Melina" Teyshan's own voice grew quiet. He didn't want Melina to see all of the damage his body took from Hayshek but he knew he needed his bandages changed. Dipping his head, he sucked in a breath through his fanged teeth and slowly pulled off the top of his undersuit. Since he had gotten back on the ship after his rescue. He barely wore his armor anymore, the heavy pauldrons would certainly be painful.
Melina reached into the back and pulled some gloves over her hands. Reaching up she slowly unwound Teyshan's old bandages from his form. Taking great care to not disturb any of his wounds. Biting at the back of her lip, she tipped her head a bit as she continued to remove his bandages. She needed something to break the tension.
"Do you remember when the leaves back home would change colors?" Melina broke the silence. Her tone light, holding warmth. She felt Teyshan flex a bit under her touch, his head turning a bit to gaze back at her over his shoulder.
"Our home was beautiful. The colors, so vibrant on those leaves. They wouldn't hold a fraction to your beauty Melina." Teyshan's voice grew warmer as he thought about those times. His heart ached with want to return back to those times. But he knew that the future could also be bright and full of life as well. He just needed to give it a fighting chance.
Melina smiled at the thought. She balled up the old gauze and bandages. Pulling out fresh bandages. She gently started wrapping his wounds making sure to not hurt his beat body. His bruises were beginning to fade. Something that Melina was honestly happy to see. She hated seeing how hurt he was left, but it was a testament to just how strong Teyshan is. Sighing a bit. Melina looked up at Teyshan's lips, her eyes darting up towards his golden eyes. He was warm.
"Remember all of those times I had to have you get the spiders out of the house? Gosh I hate those things. I know they are important but I still don't like them." Melina shivered a little thinking about the colonies sheer large amount of native spiders.
Teyshan chuckled softly. Those memories never left his mind.
"Every time you had refused to hold those spider creatures. They were harmless." The Prothean bared his teeth a little in a smile. Melina caught it, causing her to smile a bit more.
Melina finished wrapping up his wounds and lowered her hands down from his warm body. Leaning down she placed the old bandages into the bag, pulling the gloves off of her hands before leaning back up. Her dark eyes gazing at the other side of the room. She was glad to share a couple of warm memories once more with Teyshan. It obviously went a lot better the last time she tried to cheer the Prothean up. Sitting up she gazed back over towards Teyshan who was just soaking her in. His golden eyes gazing over her frame. The woman could feel the love pouring from his heart. A smile escaped her lips.
"I love you Teyshan." She smiled.
Teyshan reached out and touched her bottom lip with his finger, his head tipped a bit.
"I love you." His voice ever so soft.
Authors Note:
Wow the last time I wrote in this story it was back in 2018. I never wanted to give up on it. I hope to finish it up one day. I was actually a bit stuck on how I wanted to take such a delicate topic but I think I am actually finally over this hump now. Four years later. I've got a good idea on how I am going to eventually wrap it all up. I will make sure it will be worth it and not rushed. I can't believe these stories have almost been 10 years in the making but they are very special to me. Keep an eye out for future chapters. I hope to keep these updates rolling out regularly again.