A/N: I know the chapters are coming out more slowly. It's been a crazy month for me so far. Hopefully I'll be able to update more frequently soon!

Disclaimer: The phone conversation between Edward and Rosalie belongs to Stephenie Meyer. She has it on her website if anyone was curious ;) I tweaked a few parts, but it's nearly all hers.

Also, TW: Mentions of suicide and some pretty dark thoughts going on in Eddy's head.

Earthshine

Chapter XXVI

"A Phone Call and A Choice"

…

"The shadow is the greatest teacher for how to come to the light." — Ram Dass

…

[Edward]

I had been in Rio for over two months. Two months! And there was nothing here to track. I'd combed every inch of the country, returning to the address on the piece of notebook paper multiple times, only to be left disappointed again.

I was starting to think I'd been given a false lead. Had Victoria intentionally led me here, only to move on somewhere else? To chase after her real agenda? And if that was the case…how would I ever find her?

Maybe Maria would end up dealing with her. If the redhead was, in fact, after her territory.

Upon arriving at the realization that I'd been misled, I was left to the mercy of my broken life. The emptiness and the constant pain left me seering in agony. I wandered aimlessly down the streets, hardly noticing the wary looks I received. I hadn't been eating, but I didn't feel even the slightest urge to feed on any of the humans around me.

I wanted nothing. I was just an empty shell, desperately clinging to my resolve, which was quickly crumbling to dust. At this point, I wasn't sure how much longer I could resist running back to Forks.

I was starting to imagine it, the moment I did. I would run to Bella and fall on my knees. I would beg her to take me back. I would beg as long as I had to. It was not so much a matter of if now, but when.

Gradually, I had moved toward the slums of Rio, where I occupied abandoned shacks and moved among the poor, destitute residents. People had stopped seeing my as an anomaly here. I had become one with them — just another miserable outcast, haunted by the drudgery of life. My expression was flat, my eyes empty. My clothes were dirty and wrinkled and my hair was matted and more unruly than ever. I was no longer the glowing, otherworldly predator. I was blending in among humans more effectively now, ironically.

I sat in a crumbling shack, smelling the foul scents in the air as I gazed listlessly at the sunlight streaming through the cracks. I steered clear of it, with my knees huddled to my chest. I stayed for days, willing myself to remain where I was. Everything inside of me was pulling me to Bella. What would her eyes say when I saw them again? Would they be accusing? Would they be grieved? Would she be at all happy that I'd returned?

Are we going to have enough food for the week? A mother was wondering to herself. She's so skinny already…

A father was walking home from a grueling shift at the fishing docks, feet heavy and eyes tired. It's all worth it, he told himself. All worth it.

He doesn't have much longer, an elderly woman was thinking of her spouse as she placed a hand to his feverish forehead. How much longer will he have to suffer?

I felt I was going mad. I eventually convinced myself to move on, not wanting to stay in one place too long, and I walked slowly down a walkway, narrowly avoiding bumping into the crowd of evening villagers. Their thoughts were somehow becoming less noticeable as I retreated into myself more and more.

The seasons were hardly discernible here, but spring loomed on the horizon — a symbol of hope that felt more like a mockery to me.

I hadn't contacted my family in awhile. I felt there wouldn't be any point. I had nothing to say. There was no comfort they could offer me and I knew that fact would only sadden them. There was no need for that.

All of my foolish beliefs that I could somehow come out of this and find a meaningful purpose nearly made me laugh. I wasn't the same as Carlisle. It wasn't at all the same situation. He hadn't discarded his other half and tried to survive without her. He'd never needed to.

Another week passed…another agonizing blur. When March came around, I walked outside as a downpour fell from the evening sky, drenching everything below. I stood awhile under the pounding rain, watching it pool under my feet.

My reflection was rippled and murky, my dark eyes like the soulless gaze of a predatory shark. I was an empty vessel. A withering creature.

I moved from shack to shack, barely noticing where I was anymore. I felt drained of energy, which was a first since becoming a vampire.

The days were monotonous and changed only by my occasional shift in surroundings. I still wasn't feeding, but there didn't seem much risk in neglecting it. The call of blood was so muted by my longing that I became indifferent to it.

Then, somewhere around mid-March — I wasn't sure of the exact date — a shrill ring broke the lengthy silence. It was evening outside but I hadn't bothered to venture out yet. Glancing to my phone, I saw the screen light up, but I chose to ignore it. I didn't even bother looking at the name on the screen.

With a sigh, I crossed my hands and rested them over my knees. I watched the deep, vibrant sunset shift to complete darkness as my phone continued to ring. It rang every hour or so.

I closed my eyes in agitation. What could it possibly be? I suspected that it was my family, since it had been two and a half months since I last spoke with them. I assumed that they were worried, but this seemed excessive.

Surely Alice could see that I was just fine. As fine as I could be anyway.

I tried to drown out the sound of the incessant ringing and even considered crumbling the phone to dust in my hand. I clenched a fist and resisted though. I was sure I would regret it if I destroyed the only connection I had to everyone.

I opted to turn off the ringtone and let it vibrate instead. I considered putting it on silent, but a part of me welcomed the continous, annoying distraction.

I was also curious just how long the caller would keep this up.

Of course, it was possible that it was Maria or one of her contacts. Perhaps she'd managed to take down Victoria. Or she had a new lead. Either way, I found I no longer cared. Hunting Victoria had been a waste of time. A useless attempt at a distraction.

I leaned my head back and, sometime during the following sunset, the phone in my pocket vibrated again. It was the twenty-fifth time in twenty-four hours.

By now, I was thinking that I might open the phone, if only to see who, exactly, was trying to contact me. Perhaps it was important. Maybe Carlisle needed me.

I thought about it, but I did not move. I was suddenly a little more aware of my surroundings. The many phone calls were beginning to rouse me from my empty staring.

I wasn't precisely sure where I was. Some dark attic crawl space, full of rats and spiders. The spiders ignored me, and the rats gave me a wide berth. The air was thick with the heavy scents of cooking oil, rancid meat, human sweat, and the nearly solid layer of pollution that was actually visible in the humid air, like a black film over everything.

Below me, four stories of a rickety ghetto tenement teamed with life. I still didn't bother to separate the thoughts from the voices. They made a big, loud Spanish clamor that I didn't listen to. I just let the sounds bounce off me.

Meaningless. All of it was meaningless. My very existence was meaningless. The whole world was meaningless.

My forehead pressed against my knees, and I again wondered how much longer I would be able to stand this. Maybe it was hopeless. Maybe, if my attempt was doomed to failure anyway, I should stop torturing myself and just go back…

The temptation was stronger now than it ever had been.

The idea was so powerful, so healing — like the words contained a strong anesthetic, washing away the mountain of pain I was buried under — that it made me gasp, made me dizzy.

I could leave now, I could go back.

Bella's face, always behind the lids of my eyes, smiled at me. It was a smile of welcome, of forgiveness, but it did not have the affect my subconscious probably intended it to have.

Of course I could not go back. What was my pain, after all, in comparison to her happiness? She should be able to smile, free from fear and danger. Free from a longing for a soulless future. She deserved better than that. She deserved better than me.

My thoughts then took a darker turn.

When she left this world, she would go to a place that was forever barred to me, no matter how I conducted myself here.

The idea of that final separation was so much more intense than the pain I already had. My body shook with it. When Bella went on to the place where she belonged and I never could, I would not linger here behind. There must be oblivion. There must be relief.

That was my hope, but there were no guarantees. To sleep, perchance to dream.

Ay, there's the rub, I quoted to myself. Even when I was ash, would I somehow still feel the torture of her loss?

I shuddered again.

I'd promised. I'd promised her that I wouldn't haunt her life again, bring my black demons into it. I wasn't going back on my word.

Couldn't I do anything right by her? Anything at all?

The idea of returning to the cloudy little town that would always be my true home on this planet snaked through my thoughts again.

Just to check. Just to see that she was well and safe and happy. Not to interfere. She would never know I was there…

No. Darn it, no.

The phone vibrated again.

"Darn it, darn it, darn it," I growled.

I could use the distraction, I supposed, before I did something I would regret. The ringing alone was no longer enough. I flipped the phone open and registered the numbers with the first real shock I'd felt in half a year.

Why would Rosalie be calling me? She was the one person who was probably enjoying my absence. There must be something truly wrong if she needed to talk to me.

Suddenly worried for my family, I hit the call button.

"What?" I asked tensely.

"Oh, wow. Edward answered the phone. I feel so honored."

As soon as I heard her tone, I knew my family was fine. She must just be bored.

It was hard to guess at her motives without her thoughts as a guide. Rosalie had never made much sense to me. Her impulses were usually founded on the most convoluted kinds of logic.

I snapped the phone shut.

"Leave me alone," I whispered to nobody.

Of course the phone vibrated again at once. Would she keep calling until she passed along whatever message she was planning to annoy me with? Probably. It would take months for her to grow tired of this game.

I toyed with the idea of letting her hit redial for the next half year…and then sighed and answered the phone again.

"Get on with it."

Rosalie rushed through the words. "I thought you would want to know that Alice is in Forks."

I opened my eyes and stared at the rotten wooden beams three inches from my face.

"What?" My voice was flat, emotionless.

"You know how Alice is. She thinks she knows everything. Like you." Rosalie chuckled humorlessly. Her voice had a nervous edge, like she was suddenly unsure about what she was doing.

But my rage made it hard to care what Rosalie's problem was.

Alice had sworn to me that she would follow my lead in regards to Bella, though she did not agree with my decision. She'd promised that she would leave Bella alone…for as long as I did.

Clearly, she'd thought I would eventually fold to the pain. Maybe she was right about that.

But I hadn't. Yet. So what was she doing in Forks? I wanted to wring her skinny neck. Not that Jasper would let me get that close to her, once he caught a whiff of the fury blowing out of me…

"Are you still there, Edward?"

I didn't answer. I pinched the bridge of my nose with my fingertips, wondering if it were possible for a vampire to get a migraine.

On the other hand, if Alice had already gone back…

No. No. No. No.

I'd made a promise. Bella deserved a life.

I repeated the words like a mantra, trying to clear my head of the seductive image of Bella's dark window. The doorway to my only sanctuary.

No doubt I would have to grovel, were I to return, as I'd imagined so many times recently. And I still didn't mind the thought of that. I could happily spend the next decade on my knees if I were with her.

No, no, no.

"Edward? Don't you even care why Alice is there?"

"Not particularly."

Rosalie's voice turned a trifle smug now, pleased, no doubt, that she'd forced a response from me.

"Well, of course, she's not exactly breaking the rules. I mean, you only warned us to stay away from Bella, right? The rest of Forks doesn't matter."

I blinked my eyes slowly. Bella had left? My thoughts circled around the unexpected idea. She hadn't graduated yet, so she must have returned to her mother.

That was good. She should live in sunshine. It was good that she'd been able to put the shadows behind her.

I tried to swallow, and couldn't.

Rosalie trilled a nervous laugh. "So you don't need to be angry with Alice."

"Then why did you call me, Rosalie, if not to get Alice in trouble? Why are you bothering me? Ugh!"

"Wait!" she said, sensing, rightly, that I was about to hang up again.

"That's not why I called."

"Then why? Tell me quickly, and then leave me alone."

"Well…" she hesitated.

"Spit it out, Rosalie. You have ten seconds."

"I think you should come home," Rosalie said in a rush. "I'm tired of Esme grieving and Carlisle never laughing. You should feel ashamed at what you've done to them. Emmett misses you all the time and it's getting on my nerves. You have a family. Grow up and think about something besides yourself."

"Interesting advice, Rosalie. Let me tell you a little story about a pot and a kettle…"

I knew I was being harsh, that she didn't deserve me speaking to her this way, but she'd caught me in such a low mood. I figured my hunger was getting to me more than I realized.

"I am thinking about them," she continued. "Unlike you. Don't you care how much you've hurt Esme, if no one else? She loves you more than the rest of us, and you know that. Come home."

I didn't answer.

"I thought once this whole Forks thing was finished, you would get over it."

"Forks was never the problem, Rosalie," I said, trying to be patient. What she'd said about Esme and Carlisle had struck a chord. "Just because Bella" — it was hard to say her name out loud — "has moved to Florida, it doesn't mean that I'm able-" I cut myself off, unable to continue speaking of her. "Look, Rosalie. I really am sorry, but, trust me, it wouldn't make anyone happier if I were there."

"Um…"

There it was, that nervous hesitation again.

"What is it that you're not telling me, Rosalie? Is Esme all right? Is Carlisle-"

"They're fine. It's just…well, I didn't say that Bella moved."

I didn't speak. I ran over our conversation in my head. Yes, Rosalie had said that Bella had moved. She'd said: "…you only warned us to stay away from Bella, right? The rest of Forks doesn't matter." And then: "I thought once this whole Forks thing was finished…"

Bella wasn't in Forks, that seemed obvious, so what did she mean by saying Bella hadn't moved?

Then Rosalie was rushing through her words again, saying them almost angrily this time.

"They didn't want to tell you, but I think that's stupid. The quicker you get over this, the sooner things can go back to normal. Why let you mope around the dark corners of the world when there's no need for it? You can come home now. We can be a family again. It's over."

My mind seemed to be broken. I couldn't make sense of her words. It was like there was something very, very obvious she was telling me, but I had no idea what it was.

My brain played with the information, making strange patterns of it. Nonsensical.

"Edward?"

"I don't understand what you are saying, Rosalie."

A long pause, the length of a few human heartbeats.

"She's dead, Edward."

A longer pause.

"I'm…sorry. You have a right to know, though, I think. Bella…threw herself off a cliff two days ago. Alice saw it, but it was too late to do anything. I think she would have helped, though, broken her word, if there had been time. She went back to do what she could for Charlie. You know how she's always cared for him—"

The phone went dead. It took me a few seconds to realize that I'd shut the power off.

I sat in the dusty darkness for a long, frozen space. It was like time had ended. Like the universe had stopped.

Slowly, moving like an old man, I turned my phone back on and dialed the one number I'd promise myself I would never call again.

If it was her, I would hang up. If it was Charlie, I'd get the information I needed through subterfuge. I'd prove Rosalie's sick little joke wrong, and then go back to my nothingness.

"Swan residence," answered a voice I could only vaguely place. A man's husky voice, deep, but still youthful.

I didn't pause to think about the implications of that.

"This is Dr. Carlisle Cullen," I said, perfectly imitating my father's voice. "May I please speak to Charlie?"

"He's not here," the voice responded, and I was dimly surprised by the anger in it. The words were almost a snarl. But that didn't matter.

"Well, where is he then?" I demanded, getting impatient.

There was a short pause, as if the stranger wanted to withhold the information from me.

"He's at the funeral," the boy finally answered.

I shut the phone again.

At the funeral…well, that confirmed it then, didn't it?

I blinked once. Twice.

Bella…was dead. Bella was… dead?

My brows furrowed as I struggled to grasp that reality.

Dead.

Lifeless.

A corpse.

Forever removed from me.

She'd thrown herself off a cliff. Alice had warned me of the pain she would feel and I hadn't listened. I'd believed her stronger than that. Bella had promised me, after all. She'd promised she wouldn't harm herself.

And now? Now she was gone. She'd willingly ended her life and it was all my fault. Out of some sick, ironic twist of fate, my attempt to keep her safe from me had been her undoing.

There had never been an acceptable solution. No matter what choice I made, it seemed Bella's fate was sealed. She'd been destined to die that very first moment in the classroom. Fate had simply been trying to finish the job since then.

She's gone… Oh, the irony of my earlier thoughts! Bella was in paradise and I would forever be separate from her. I could never join her where she'd gone. I would never see her again…

The world had become a large, black void. The pain I'd felt until this moment now paled in comparison. I had never known pain until now. Had never known anguish. Never known despair.

A world without Bella? It was an impossible world to live in.

I breathed out then, and forced myself to think through the agony.

I had only one option.

All along, I'd had a plan in place for this very thing. I couldn't live this way. It was unbearable. There was literally no point anymore.

All I could hope for now was oblivion. To erase myself into true nothingness.

Emerging from the shack in the warm evening, sun very low in the sky now, I ran swiftly past the villagers as they returned from work to enjoy their humble meals. I raced down the steep cliffside toward the beckoning city lights of Rio's downtown area.

I paused near a bench and glanced at my phone as I saw Alice's name flash on the screen. I gritted my teeth then tossed the phone into a nearby trash can before continuing to run.

I knew she'd seen my decision and I also knew that there was nothing she could say to stop me.

I hoped the Volturi would make it swift and that they would honor my request the first time. I didn't want to resort to breaking their laws, potentially spilling innocent blood, but I would do whatever I had to do to convince them.

I didn't even question this choice. It was the only logical option — as automatic as breathing.

I made it to the airport in record time, not paying as much attention to the speed which I had been running. I slowed as I walked inside, the automatic doors closing behind me in a whoosh.

I felt strangely energized. It was nearly over. My miserable, empty existence would soon be over. All of this pain would be gone. All of the struggle. All of the darkness.

I paused to glance at the boarding flights, hoping one would be heading to Italy soon. I found one bound for Tuscany, which was near Volterra, then took a step in the direction of the ticket counter before another flight caught my eye.

It was set to leave in just under an hour. San Antonio, Texas.

For some reason, I hesitated there as I stared between the two different flights. Then, almost without realizing it, my eyes fell to the charm on my wrist.

All at once, Vitalia invaded my mind. Her brightness was staggering. I hadn't thought of her in so long, it was an abrupt shock.

I willed myself to move, to continue with my plan, but something kept me rooted here.

…what if I don't do this? My subconscious impossibly wondered. What if there's another way? A way to heal?

No. No…I couldn't live without Bella. Could I? The thought alone was nearly enough to have me collapsing in pain.

Rosalie's words came back to me. How she'd struck a chord by bringing up Esme and Carlisle and Emmett. How much they were missing me. How much greater would their grief be after I did this? My mother…my poor mother. Could I really do this to her?

But would it be any better to stick around and let them watch me disappear into my heartbreak? To see all the joy ripped from my life?

Grow up and think about something besides yourself.

Which was the more selfish choice? I didn't know…

Vitalia always somehow managed to lighten the weight in my chest. Was it possible for her to lighten even this? It didn't seem likely, but…was it worth trying? I knew I could always choose Italy if this turned out to be a massive failure.

It was a desperate reach…imagining anything could ease the immensity of my suffering, but I felt myself faintly drawn in that direction. The barest flicker of a will to live, a reminiscing of that spark of life always present in Vitalia's clear eyes.

Don't I deserve to die though? For what I did to Bella?

The guilt held me in an indecisive position and I gritted my teeth as I warred between the two choices.

Was it even fair to put this on Vitalia? All of this darkness? Or was it foolish to think that anything I did could bring her down?

I closed my eyes and filled my thoughts with the girl. The slimmest, most pathetic gleam of warmth entered the cavernous space in my chest and then, without waiting for a second thought, I dashed toward the counter and bought myself a ticket.

I rushed past the many gates to the one for San Antonio, then I spent several minutes pacing there as the uncertainty invaded again. I nearly went back to exchange the ticket, but I kept my grip tightly fixed around the charm bracelet.

Maybe I didn't deserve death. Maybe that was just the easy way out. Maybe I owed it to Bella to really feel all of this pain and guilt. To live with what I'd done. To spend an eternity burning this way.

Stay strong, Eddy. Those were some of the final words Vitalia had spoken to me the last time I'd seen her and now they were ringing repeatedly in my mind.

She'd asked me to sort things out before seeing her again…would she even accept my showing up like this? So much worse off than I had been then?

I decided that, if she asked me to go, I would. I wouldn't even hesitate. I'd just pursue my original plan and go to Italy.

I slumped into a chair and my head fell into my hands. I clung to the ticket like the lifeline it was.

Memories of Bella played in my head, but they were all tainted by my imagining the sight of her lifeless, broken body. Why hadn't Alice seen this coming?

What am I doing? I thought. There's no point to life without her. What am I thinking? I can't go on. It's insane! There's no meaning at all anymore…

But then Vitalia's bright face entered my head again, chasing everything else away for a moment. She believed there was plenty of meaning to life. Carlisle did too. The meaning that came with living for other people.

…could that be true? Could I manage to hang on for the people who would grieve me if I were lost?

It felt like I was going against everything inside of me, and yet…the very pale reminder of Vitalia's light was somehow enough to make me curious. Curious if it were actually possible for my life to go on in without Bella. Curious if I could still find some meaning. Find something to hold onto.

My curiosity nearly always won. It was always my undoing.

I kept Vitalia's face in my mind as I boarded the plane and as it took off into the cloudy sky, soaring high above the world below. I kept her face in my mind because, if I didn't, I'd lose my grip on this insanity. I'd lose my very weak will. I'd jump off this plane, land in the ocean, and swim to Italy.

I explored all the facets of her limitless, energetic eyes. I heard, very vividly, the cheery sound of her laugh. Her radiant smile. Her reassuring, friendly words.

What stuck in my mind most though was the memory of holding her together while we waited for news of her father. We'd knelt there in that waiting room, her crying into my chest as I tried to help her find her light again. Helped her find hope.

Would she be able to do the same for me?

I had been torn in two and only the most delicate of strings was holding me together now.

What are friends for? She had said.

I exhaled a shuddering breath as I gripped the arm rest. I closed my eyes and silently screamed to myself to stay seated. I was relentlessly tempted to stand and jump from the plane. My insides were clawing at me for release from the intense pain of loss and guilt that had me submerged in despair.

But I looked up from the murky depths to the glistening light far above on the surface of the water.

I was desperately reaching for it…hoping against all the odds.

[Alice]

I watched impatiently from the driver's seat of Carlisle's car as Bella stopped to lock her front door.

That smelly wolf was behind her, pleading with her not to leave. Bella was barely able to hold back her tears, visibly upset by what the wolf was saying.

What exactly had happened between the two of them these past six months?

She stopped to hug him tight and I nearly lost it with frustration.

Come on, Bella! The clock is ticking.

Seconds were all we had to save Edward's life.

"Bye, Jake." Bella pulled the wolf's hand from where he held it through her hair and kissed it. "Sorry."

Then, all of a sudden, my body jerked up straight And my eyes grew wide and unfocused. I was no longer here in the car…my mind was transported to a wide, grassy field, where horses were galloping away from something. Then I saw my brother, walking slowly towards a rustic stone house.

He was approaching someone sitting there in the grass and, as he got closer, I saw the blue-eyed girl turn her head and notice him, expression surprised.

The scene contorted and changed. Back to Volterra…to Edward asking to die…to his ashen remains…

…then back to the ranch scene…to Vitalia…to Edward sitting beside her…to her holding him together…

The flashes went back and forth several times before I was pulled into the present again. I blinked and hesitated with my hands on the wheel.

My brother's indecision was buying us precious time. Time enough to think through this plan.

"Alice!" Bella was saying beside me. "What is it? What did you *see"?*

Her pet wolf hovered a few feet behind her, watching us carefully.

"I-" my brows creased as Edward's decision became more solidified. He was going to Vitalia. He was already boarding the plane. "I think he's changed his mind…"

Bella's brows shot up. "Really?! Why? Did someone tell him I'm still alive?" I could see the intense relief on her face.

"No, I don't think so…" My brows drew together in confusion. "I need to call my family. We might be able to figure something else out." I stepped out of the car and motioned down the street. "I'll be right back. Don't move. His decision could still change, but we have time now."

Bella nodded and glanced at the wolf again before I walked down the sidewalk. I walked far enough away so that I was out of earshot of both her and the wolf. I didn't think it'd be a good idea for either of them to hear where Edward was heading.

What was my brother doing? I couldn't feel completely frustrated of course because I was so relieved, but…I was still confused. Was his bond with Vitalia really strong enough to prevent this?

I didn't know what to do. I wasn't sure if his decision would stick.

I called Jasper and his smooth voice answered, filling me with warmth that spread all the way down to my toes.

"Alice? What's wrong? Did Edward-"

"No!" I breathed out and shook my head. "No, I don't think he's going to. Not yet anyway. He's heading to Texas. To that girl, Vitalia."

"…what? Whoa…wouldn't have seen that coming. That's good though."

"…Yes. Yes, I guess it is…"

I trailed off and tapped my finger against the phone. "One of us should head down there and tell him that Bella's still alive."

"Hm…"

"What?"

"Well…what if this is the only way for him to let her go and actually move past this?"

"Jasper-"

"No, I mean it. That's what he wants, isn't it?"

I closed my eyes in aggravation. Stupidly, yes, it's what the idiot wanted. But all along I had seen his efforts would be completely useless. He and Bella were meant for each other! He was just delaying the inevitable.

"That seems cruel. He'll hate us for keeping it from him." I opened my eyes, watching the individual drops of rain fall in front of me.

"We'll tell him. After he's had time to process and experience life without her, then he can make a clear decision. He'll know he's capable of living without her."

I kicked at the wet sidewalk. It wasn't what I wanted. I wanted more than anything for the wonderful visions in my head to become a reality.

But I knew my brother. I'd been watching him these past months and seeing how difficult it was for him to stay away from Bella. How much he'd tortured himself. But also how determined he had been.

If he came back now, it would be out of defeat. If he chose to later, if he really felt that it would be his choice…well, wouldn't he be happier?

I was worried though. I was worried he and Bella would both move on. He with Vitalia and her with that infuriating mutt!

But something niggled in my brain…what if they were all right about that girl? What if Edward really was meant for someone else? Could I really have been so wrong? I'd been so sure of his future…it'd been so set in stone. This munderstanding had thrown everything off. For the first time, Bella and Edward's future wasn't crystal clear to me.

It broke my heart just thinking about it, but I couldn't let that stand in the way. I loved Edward and I loved Bella and if there was a better way for them…I had to give it a chance.

I sighed. "Fine. If you really think that's best, Jasper, I'll leave it for now. But someone still has to be here with Bella. It's bad. For one thing, Victoria is here. She's been trying to get to her."

"Victoria is there? Edward was trying to track her down."

"I know. She gave him the slip, so that will have to be dealt with. Also…Bella's been hanging around with werewolves of all things."

"Werewolves? I didn't know they were around there still."

"Apparently. That's why I couldn't see Bella after she jumped. One of them saved her. My ability doesn't work with them around."

"I see. That's troublesome."

"Mhm. So, yes, she isn't safe here on her own. Also, a couple of us should head to Italy, just in case Edward changes his mind again."

"Good idea. Carlisle and Esme, perhaps. He might listen to them and the Volturi will be the most receptive to Carlisle."

"That's true. I think I should be the one to stay with Bella. If, somehow, we need her like we nearly did today, I'll be right here."

"I'll join you there."

"Are you sure?" I didn't want to bring up the party, I knew how much he had been beating himself up about it, but I wanted to be certain he could handle it.

"Positive. I owe it to Bella. Also, since Victoria's there, I'm the best chance we have at defeating her. Edward was in contact with Maria too, so if she happens to show up, I'll need to be there to head her off."

"Okay," I smiled as another vision filled my mind. One of Jasper arriving in only a few hours. "I'll be seeing you early this evening then. I can't wait!"

He chuckled. "I love you."

"Love you."

I hung up the phone then looked over at Bella. She hadn't taken her eyes off the direction I'd gone. The wolf was standing next to her now, hand on the hood of the car.

I exhaled loudly then began walking toward them.

I hope I'm making the right decision. Would Edward ever forgive us for this? For letting him continue thinking Bella was dead?

But he was the one who wanted to cut off all ties. He hadn't even been wanting me to watch Bella's future. It had just happened because of my bond with her.

And when I'd believed her dead, I had planned on holding off telling him for a very long time.

This was no different.

I smiled at Bella when I reached her, Edward's decision becoming more stable with each passing minute.

We hadn't lost him.

Not today.