Chapter 20: Lost In My Own Head

Nessie

My mind was struggling to process the images I was seeing. I didn't understand how Edward could have pictures of him with my mom in it. My mom, a teenager and Edward still looking exactly the same as he did today. Edward was the name of my father. If Edward Cullen was my biological father…..no. I shook my head. There had to be a rational explanation. People didn't stay the same age for twenty years. It looked like Edward had not aged a day in the last twenty years. If this was really him. No. I was certain that it was him.

Could he really be my father though? No. He was a teenager. He looked like a teenager. I glanced over at my son. I'd be lying if I said that he didn't look a lot like Edward. Apart from the green eyes I could swear my son was the infant version of Edward. I looked a lot like him also. It was also a bit unnerving. My head was starting to hurt.

I needed to get out of here and clear my head. I got Hunter and Faith ready. I didn't really have a particular plan in my mind when I left the house. I just drove silently through the city. I was so lost in my own head that I didn't realize I had driven all the way to a mall. Well I guess shopping was as good a method as any to get my mind off of things. At least that is what I told myself as I strapped Hunter and Faith into the stroller. I hadn't been to a mall in months. The last time I went to a mall was to look for looser fitting clothing. I ended up coming out with a whole new wardrobe of maternity clothes.

Faith started giggling and for the life of me I couldn't figure out what it was that she found so amusing. Then I realized that this was the first time I had ever brought my babies to a mall. What it must be like to be so young and full of wonder and curiosity. Hunter was silent but observant.

The first place that I stopped at was at a toy store where I bought quite a few toys that were made exclusively for babies. Then I went to a jewelry shop. I picked out quite a few pieces of jewelry without even bothering to look at the price tags. Necklaces, earrings, rings, bracelets. I even found quite a few pieces of jewelry for Faith. She seemed enamored with the diamond studded bracelet I placed on her wrist.

The cashier nearly had a stroke when all of the jewelry totaled out to be just over a million dollars. I wrote out the check without giving it a second thought. "How do you have this kind of money?" the cashier asked me in awe.

"From my inheritance that my parents left me," I shrugged. He looked at me as if I had two heads. I sighed and took my stuff.

I was starting to get hungry so I thought it would be a good idea to take a break and get something to eat at the food court. My babies started crying and I realized that it was time to feed them. I sat down at an empty table and tried my best to nurse discreetly. While I sat there nursing first my son and then my daughter, everything I had been trying to avoid thinking about for the last hour and a half suddenly came floating back to the forefront of my mind. Edward Cullen was my biological father. I felt like an insane person for even thinking that. It was madness to consider the idea that a boy that looked my age could be my father. But the pictures and the resemblance….none of it made sense. Perhaps I should ask Edward about the pictures. Maybe he would have a response that would not sound so insane.

I was still thinking about all of this when I went to stand in line at Panda Express. The cashier had to ask me for my order twice before I finally realized that she was talking to me. I blushed embarrassed by my actions. I was lost in my own head again.

I tried to think about other things as I ate. Jacob came to the forefront of my mind. Jacob. My Jacob. I longed to feel his arms around me. I longed to feel him inside of me again. My Jacob. I finished lunch and went to the next store. I wasn't exactly sure how long I had been at the mall. It was when I looked outside and saw how dark it had gotten that I realized I had been there for a long time. I looked at my phone and saw that it was nearing 8P.M already. Shit. I had been here way longer than I thought. I had several missed phone calls, voicemails, and text messages from the Cullens all inquiring about my whereabouts. Shit. Fuck. I had turned the ringer off last night before I went to bed and had completely forgotten to turn it back on. I was about to send a reply when the battery died out. Damn. Oh well I guess I better get back before they send the whole cavalry after me.

An eerie feeling crept over me as I walked out into the dark and lonely parking lot. The dim lights from the street lamps offered little to ease my discomfort. My heart skipped several beats when I heard footsteps behind me. I sped up a little but I still heard footsteps behind me. I rounded the next corner and to my dismay saw that I had walked into a dead end.

I turned around and saw two men approaching me. My heart thudded against my ribcage. I recognized one of the men. He was the guy who sold me all of the jewelry earlier. "There you are," he said to me.

I tried to remember what little self defense I knew.

"Oh there is nowhere to run now sweetheart,"

I thought maybe I could run past them. I had to try to escape. I gripped the stroller as hard as I could and ran. One of the men grabbed me and slammed me against the brick wall. I felt blood trickle down my back. I screamed when the cashier guy grabbed the stroller with Hunter and Faith inside of it. Both of my babies were crying. "I'll take the babies. Do want you want with the girl but we need her alive,"

I tried to scream again but the guy holding me captive covered my mouth with one of his hands. I fought against him as hard as I could. With his other hand he was attempting to unzip and remove my pants. Fear overtook my mind. My babies! I needed to get to my babies! They were taking my babies!

"Let them go!" I heard a voice scream in rage. Pure rage. It was Edward. He was crouched down like an angry lion ready to attack. "I said let them go!"

The man let me go and I slid all the way to the floor. The other guy, the cashier, ran away without my babies.

"Ed-Edwarrd," my voice shook a little.

"Nessie. Thank God," he stood up. Walked over to me and crushed me against his chest. "Are you okay?"

"I-well-I think so," my legs were still wobbly. "My babies,"

"They're fine. Nothing happened to them,"

My nerves were all shaken up. "Let's get you home. Carlisle will look at that injury,"

I'd forgotten that I was bleeding. I could feel the cut somewhere along my neck down to my back.

Since my legs still couldn't be trusted he helped me walk to his car. "I can drive. My car is somewhere over there,"

"I am not letting you drive home in your state young lady. You have given me enough scares for one night,"

"I-what?"

"When you didn't come home or answer any of our calls or messages we all began to worry. So I came looking for you three. Then I heard what those low lives were thinking," he growled. It sounded so feral and animal like. Edward's eyes had gone from gold to pitch black.

"You heard what they were thinking?" I asked. Somewhere in my shocked brain the words registered.

"Yes. I heard what they were thinking. Once I saw you in their minds and what they were planning on doing to you and your babies it was very easy to locate you. I cut it way too close though. Way too close,"

"I recognized one of the guys. He sold me some jewelry earlier," I explained. "He seemed nice. But-" I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. Maybe I was going into shock. Edward hugged me again and it was comforting. I could almost feel just how worried, no, how scared he was. In that instant I knew without a doubt in my mind that he really was my father and that he loved me.