Disclaimer: I don't own JJK.

Control

"The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear." -Ghandi

It was impossible to stand still in the tiny office the Peacekeepers had forced me into. Pacing only seemed to make the anxiety churning in my gut even worse, but my feet refused to stop, so I let them run me laps around the room. The chair that was placed by the window definitely looked very comfortable with its modest seat cushion and high back and the beautiful ray of sunlight that shone invitingly down on it, but I couldn't make myself cave to that temptation. My racing heart and whirling thoughts were razor focused on the door, waiting for a click that signaled it was opening.

Selected Tributes were allowed to say goodbye to only a handful of people who wished to see them off, taking this time to memorize the face of their loved one and not knowing if it would be the last time they ever saw them before they left for the Capitol. I begged for my mother to hurry and walk through already. Seeing her wasn't going to change this outcome, but I needed to see her, to hear her again. (It was like I had gone 17 years without a mother and suddenly I was thrown into a position where I could finally meet her for the first time.)

The door opened, but it wasn't who I thought it'd be. I stuttered to a stop, surprised.

Lips pulled up into a grin and the girl gave me a peace sign. "Hey," She greeted, short hair swaying as she tilted her head.

"You...? Nobara?"

Pleased, Nobara nodded. "That's me. Glad you remembered who I am even though we've hardly talked before." Her grin turned into a sheepish smile. "Sorry I'm not who you wanted me to be."

I shook my head quickly, ignoring the sting in my chest. "No, no, it's okay," I reassured weakly. "I'm just surprised to see you. I thought the only one I'd see before I left was my Mom."

"Don't spare my feelings," Nobara deadpanned. "I know it's not okay and you shouldn't downplay what you're feeling right now considering you're now a part of the Games." I winced, feeling weirdly chastised by the girl.

Kugisaki Nobara...

A headstrong girl two years younger than me and a known troublemaker to the Peacekeepers. Her parents owned the saw mill outside of town and were rarely seen by others. Nobara was the frequent face everyone saw running all the errands for them, but unlike her parents, she had no qualms about making her presence known. She was loud and boisterous and came off as quite arrogant because of her fearless track record of starting problems with higher authority, particularly the Peacekeepers.

I couldn't even count on one hand how many times I've actually spoken to her. I saw her handcuffed to the whipping post more often than actually having a conversation with her.

"How did you convince the Peacekeepers to let you in?" I asked instead, eyes darting around her to the door as if a guard was about to come barging in because she snuck by them somehow. "And not that I'm not happy to see you, but why are you here?"

She shrugged, striding forward confidently. "I told them we were cousins," She admitted. "They didn't look like they believed me, but it's whatever. You can be happy or unhappy that I'm the one here and it wouldn't really matter to me. I'm here now and that's what matters." She clapped her hands on my shoulders and my knees nearly buckled under the sheer strength she'd put into the action. Orange eyes burned with a seriousness that had my throat swelling shut and my shoulders straightening. "Listen to me closely, Naegi. Don't let the Capitol take that pin from you."

Confused, I asked, "Pin? What pin?"

Her fingers tugged at my obi and I suddenly remembered stumbling fingers yanking at the back of my belt at the Reaping Ceremony. "The one Fumi slipped in for you. Tributes are allowed one memento from home to take with them and that pin is gonna be yours," She whispered quickly, head snapping around as a loud knocking sounded on the door. I jumped at the noise, eyes widening fearfully. Could they hear through the door?! She cursed under her breath. "I'm running out of time, Naegi, but please, trust me! Keep it with you. They'll need it when you get to the Capitol."

"Wait, who will need it? Nobara, you're not making any sense!" I hissed, struggling to keep my voice down. She wasn't even giving me any choices here! There was a disturbing pattern going on right now and no matter how much I fought against it, I couldn't escape my lack of free will.

She hastily waved away my words. "I don't have time to explain," She insisted, "but if you can't trust me, trust your mentors. They'll explain it to you better than I can right now."

Unbidden, a whimper began to crawl up my throat and a small noise broke free. I was beyond my listening to reason capacity for today. Overstimulated didn't even begin to describe the emotions swirling within me. "Nobara, I'm not a fighter! Whatever this pin means to you or whoever, you're giving it to the wrong person. I'm going to die in that Arena."

She snorted. "With that attitude, you definitely will. No, I gave it to the right person. This feels right."

"It feels right? What the hell is going on?"

"A chance for us."

I froze, blinking slowly at her. A word fluttered around the edges of my thoughts, taunting me as it echoed around and around, but I didn't dare voice it. I was too scared to even try. "I can't," I murmured. "You need a fighter, and I don't..." I shook my head furiously, unable to properly voice my thoughts. It felt like there were no words for me to use in the moment and it left me feeling more frustrated and helpless.

(How did I go from climbing trees and picking fruit one day to becoming a fighter the next?)

Nobara was silent for what felt like the longest ten seconds of my life. Then she smiled, a small, genuine smile that put me at ease just a little. "Don't underestimate yourself," She said softly. "You may not see what we see right now, but Geto will help you with that one. Just trust the dragon and everything else will fall into place." As the last word left her mouth, the door began to creak open. I barely resisted a surprised screech when Nobara lunged for me, arms wrapping around my shoulders and yanking me towards her. Instinctively, my arms circled around her waist just as a Peacekeeper walked in.

"Time's up," He said, jabbing a finger behind him. "Time to go."

I released a hissed breath through my teeth, knowing Nobara heard it from her close proximity. "Nobara—"

"Talk to your mentors," She whispered quickly. "Just talk to them." She was ripped from my arms and I stumbled forward, blindly reaching for her lingering hand. It was snatched away from me by the door slamming shut. The loud boom seemed to resonate around me, ringing in my head like a bell.

How many Tributes had stood in my spot watching their family be ripped out of their hands so harshly like that? Heard that door slam with a finality that was heart-stopping and fear inducing? And then be forced to accept the reality that their time was short and that yes this was really happening and then be overcome with despair or determination?

What should I be actually feeling right now? Obviously fear. I was scared out of my mind right now. Determination? Was I capable of making it back alive? A resounding no, but in the heat of the Arena? Would it be the opposite? Would I suddenly become a worthy opponent?

"God," I groaned, pressing the heels of my palms to my eyes. "I need to stop. I don't understand anymore." Sighing, I took a deep breath in a false attempt of calming down and began untying my obi to find this so-called pin Nobara and Fumi (Wasn't that the girl with the long black hair that trailed after Nobara every time she came into town?) had slipped to me. A soft clink reached my ears as soon as the bow came undone, eyes immediately catching the shine of silver against the dark floorboards.

It reminded me of the brooches worn by the mayor, small and circular with tiny gems embedded around the outer diameter and an impressively detailed dragon coiled around itself in the center. I was in awe of its simple beauty, captivated by the emeralds that made up its eyes. Experimentally, I held it out in the sunlight and couldn't resist cooing at how the polished silver and emeralds shimmered in the light, casting brilliant white and green reflections on my clothes and the walls.

This was brand new, made very recently and I wondered where Nobara could've possibly gotten something like this. District 7 didn't sell something like this; it looked more like District 1's specialty, being the District that made all of the Capitol's jewelry.

Trust the dragon. Geto will help you.

Geto...the boy from two years ago with the sad eyes? Trust the dragon? I frowned at the pin, dragging a finger over the dips and ridges of the dragon. Again, a word flirted at the edges of my mind, but it didn't stay there long. I hurriedly buried it away. Such thoughts were treasonous and terrorists didn't have long lifespans.

But wouldn't I be considered a traitor anyway because I make it obvious I don't believe in Capitol laws? Everyone in District 7 knows I go out of my way to avoid watching the Games every year, but still...

"Suzume?"

I whirled around, not even hearing the door open and meeting those familiar dark brown eyes that were bloodshot and still leaking tears. I threw myself forward, knocking into the desk and hissing at the sharp pain in my hip as I wrapped my arms around my mother. Thin arms squeezed me to her chest in a surprisingly strong grip and it felt like she was trying to make me climb into her own skin.

It felt like the Reaping didn't even happen, like we were back home and she was just comforting me after a rough day at work that left me mentally in shambles. It felt like everything was okay for that split second in time and I relaxed in her arms, burying my face into her shoulder.

(Mothers were truly the strongest creatures alive. They'd do anything to ensure the safety and well-being of their children. Nothing was out of their capabilities and I knew deep down within my mother, she was no exception. I could only hope she'd keep her bearings after I was gone.)

She pulled away and the illusion was shattered. The clock continued to tick and I knew our time was short.

"Learn what you can about survival skills," She instructed, holding me at arm's length. "Don't ignore the instructors when they give you advice in the Training Arena. And listen to your mentors. They've survived the Games, so they know what to expect. They'll prepare you to the best of their abilities." She eyed my clenched fist, the one that held the dragon pin, and a foreign emotion passed through her eyes as if she could see through my fingers. It disappeared as quickly as it appeared and she wordlessly held a hand out. I didn't hesitate to the pass it to her.

She stared at the dragon for what felt like an eternity, carefully twisting and turning it in her fingers. Confused at the rueful smile that suddenly crossed her lips, I let her move aside the left side of my kimono, snapping the pin into place, and then covering it back up. She patted the spot almost fondly, saying, "Keep that with you always. Consider it a good luck charm."

"Okay," I whispered while my mind was screaming for her to do something to keep me from leaving and to quit focusing on this seemingly random pin given to me by a practical stranger. I wanted her to take me from this District and hide me in a secret base where we both could be safe and live out the rest of our lives in peace. The words refused to come, however. It was a pipe dream, impossible to ever come true, and part of me couldn't bear to hear my Mom reject the unspoken plea.

"Pick a weapon and learn it as quickly as you can," She continued. "Throw yourself into your training and learn everything you can, whether it be from the instructors, your mentors, or even the other Tributes." She gave a wobbly smile. "You're like a sponge, Suzume. You've always been so smart and picked up damn near anything that's been thrown at you."

A slightly unhinged laugh escaped my lips before I could stop it. "I don't think learning a weapon falls under the same category, Mom." I quickly shut up at the devastation that clouded her eyes, regretting saying such a thing when she was just trying to help in the only way she could. I didn't want her last moment with me to be a snarky comment and for a moment, I floundered to find something more encouraging to say.

Shaky fingers traced the shape of my face, watery eyes boring into mine as she took her time looking at me. "Promise me something," She suddenly whispered, voice breaking and she took a shaky breath in. Unable to verbally respond, I nodded hesitantly. Her hands cupped my cheeks as if they were porcelain, nails tracing my ears. "Come back alive. Come back home."

It was like a dam broke in me and the tears I'd been holding back finally made their appearance. Her words reminded me too sharply of Nobara's firm words. I snapped my hands up to wrap them around her wrists desperately, gritting my teeth to hold back a loud sob. "I can't do this," I cried. "I can't do this. I don't know how to fight or stay alive or even kill anyone! I can't do this!"

Those gentle hands curled tighter against my face, urging me to come closer. "You can," Mom insisted, eyes blazing through the tears. "You have to survive this, Suzume. You have to come back home to me." My eyes widened.

"Do not force me to burn this world to the ground because it took my child from me."

"Mom—"

For what felt like the millionth time, the door was slammed open. The Peacekeepers didn't even bother with a verbal command this time, simply grasping my Mom by her thin biceps and hauling her out.

"Come home, Suzume!" She shouted, voice cracking as she tried digging her heels into the ground to slow them down. "Do whatever it takes to survive, but come back to me!"

And then she was gone and the final goodbye I thought I'd have with my Mom was replaced with a slow burning sensation that swirled within my gut and enveloped me with the vague sense of a promise being sworn to keep.