Chapter Twenty-Six:
From Street Raps to The Carnival
Street performances, what a way to get money out of people's pockets, and Bob had just the idea for a worthy street-side show that would get folks' attention and earn him all the money.
The Garo made his way down to a nearby street corner on the eastside avenue in Mushroom City, on 2001 Boo Avenue, then he grabbed a radio and slapped on a hat and a pair of shades. He then dashed to a store that sold microphones, grabbed a well-polished mike when nobody was looking, and made his way back to the selected street corner.
He cranked up the volume on the radio, then he turned it on. Catchy music blared out across the streets, catching the attention of various people. Toads, visiting Inklings, Pikmin, and various humans turned in Bob's direction, watching the Garo dance a jig as the music increased. And then, he started rapping;
"Everywhere you go, seeing folks you know, you can't ignore the truth.
"High and low, going with the flow, even at your small shopping booth.
"You can see the darkness, don't worry, it ain't much of a mess.
"But when you stop to think, you realize, you're always seeing black.
"Ooooooh, seeing black on the street, I can see black when I get the beat, baby.
"Seeing black, seeing black, seeing black on the street.
"There's been a day, where you don't see black, when you get your beat on the street.
"The pavement's coated in darkness, you can't deny, especially when it can be a mess.
"Ooooh, seeing black, seeing black on the street, black in the street with the beat, baby!
"Can you see the black in the street, even when you get your beats, can you see the black street beat?
"Bob isn't the type to ignore, he can't deny, even on the fly in the street, he can see the black.
"Seeing black on the street, baby, its all under your feet and that can be pretty neat.
"Look at that black on the street, it provides a pretty good beat and that is real sweet.
"Seeing black, seeing black, seeing black, seeing black in the street.
"There's so many folks to meet, even in the street when it's all black, all black, all black.
"You like darkness, you like shadows, you like black? I'll give you black, blackness everywhere.
"Don't you dare turn away from the black, don't you dare turn away, don't you dare.
"Even if you don't want to admit it, you're always seeing black, baby.
"Seeing black. Seeing black. Seeing black. seeing black in the streets. Yeah, baby!
"Who cares about white, even when you fight for the light, when you can see all-black?
"Every day can be all black when you start seeing black in the streets.
"Drop that cold feet, get with the beat, and you can enjoy seeing black, seeing black, seeing black in the streets."
Excited clamoring filled the avenue and Bob tipped his hat to the crowd, a pair of Toads in the audience came forward and plopped several coins into the Garo's hat. An Inkling boy approached Bob and dumped a pocketful of sea coins into his hat right before a Koopa dumped a couple coins into Bob's hat too.
He couldn't believe his luck, they actually liked his rapping. At this rate, he could start a whole rapping career. Bob thanked the audience for the money, then he split the scene with the radio before counting all the money he'd gotten and added the money from the wallets he'd stolen.
Man, oh, man. In just one afternoon, he'd managed to obtain so much cash. In fact, those suckers didn't know that his rapping voice was auto-tune and the song hadn't actually come from his mouth.
Just a few months ago, sometime after Peach made him and the rest of the gang partake in some sports activities, Bob snuck into a recording studio and bribed a guy into rapping for him all while he recorded the song, which Bob had actually written for the rapper he'd taken hostage. And, oh boy, nobody else knew about that, because Bob was just so good at being sneaky.
The sleazy Garo thought of what else he could do next, then he made his way to the beach and an idea clicked as he looked around.
Bob spotted Heavy, the famed Russian merc, lifting weights, and thought about his "interesting idea" while eying a couple of gorgeous sunbathers relaxing near an umbrella. Bob then made his move towards Heavy and then said, "Ahem."
"Yes, how may I help you?" Heavy asked with a grin.
"Heavy, I can see you're very strong..." Bob said, "Did you know that women love strong men?"
"Da." Heavy nodded.
Bob gestured for Heavy to lean over and the Garo whispered his idea in his ear, then he held out a couple ten dollar bills once he was finished. Heavy eyed the money and grinned, liking Bob's fascinating idea. Bob rubbed his blade hands together, his scam was going to be so good and he couldn't wait to scoop up more money.
Shantae the Genie was sitting back on a purple blanket near a blue-white umbrella, which matched the color of her bikini, her eyes closed as fresh air filled her nostrils. Yoko Littner sat on her left, wearing a bright orange bikini with her hair tied back in a ponytail, rubbing some sunscreen on her arms and breathing in the salty air from the ocean.
Yoko looked over at Shantae, giving her a sweet anime smile. Just then, a ball landed near them, and they looked up to see the straw-hat pirate Nami, wearing a sea-blue bikini, giggling playfully as she gestured for the two to pass the ball back to her.
However, before Yoko or Shantae could return the ball, a whistle perked their ears and they turned to see Bob close by.
"What is up, gorgeous chicks?" The Garo announced, flashing the sign with the words 'Special Beach Massage Time', "The Heavy Massage Beach Tour is here, run by Mr. Heavy and I am his assistant Bob. Are you looking for relaxation? If so, then you are in luck, the Beach Massage Tour will help refresh your body and spirit. If you women would be so kind, your massage tables and blankets are ready."
As if on cue, Heavy stepped forward and flashed a thumbs up, then he gestured to a pair of tables with beach blankets on them. Shantae's eyes lit up, even Yoko and Nami were fascinated by this, even though Nami was blushing as she regarded Heavy's stature.
"I hoped this day would be relaxing." Shantae quipped.
"Never have I had a spa treatment before." Yoko commented.
"Don't be shy, don't be shy, LOL!" Bob chuckled, "It'll only cost you... eight dollars."
Shantae grabbed her purse and pulled out her wallet, then she looked at the money inside. The genie looked to Yoko and Nami, then she nodded. Neither of them could see anything wrong with this. The girls paid Heavy and lay down on the massage tables as the merc prepped the lotion, while he discreetly passed the money off to Bob as neither of their customers noticed.
Nami undid the knot on her bikini top and rested her chin on her wrists while Shantae and Yoko relaxed. Heavy moved towards both girls with the cream oozing in his palms, then he began massaging their backs, starting with Shantae and Nami.
From a distance, Bob watched with a twinkle in his eyes. He'd dreamed of getting the women for a long time and this felt like a perfect opportunity, he didn't think he'd be using Heavy to do this and get his money.
He watched the action for a time, then he made his getaway, leaving the girls to receive their massage from the man they thought was the massage manager and unaware of the truth.
In fact, Bob had also paid that merc to keep his mouth shut. Another genius move!
Just thinking about business then made Bob think of his scams before he started to think of another potentially genius idea, what if he ran a carnival as a way to scam people into giving away their money?
He looked at all of the cash he'd taken possession of, then he had an idea. He recalled Wario coming after him for taking his sugar, leading to the Garo thinking of the money that the greedy Italian had stolen or earned via scams. That was when he decided to steal from Wario again. Oh, it would be so delicious when he raided his money stash and stole a good chunk of it.
Time to pay a visit to Wario's secret vault. And yet, it wasn't at the Wario Bros' residence aka their trash dump home.
Regardless, Bob hurried off, ready to half-swindle Mario's counterpart. He found Wario's not-so secret vault in a rundown area in Mushroom City, several streets away from that trash dump of a house of his. The sleazy Garo's eyes lit up with dollar signs as he took in the sight of the large vault that was in front of him, knowing there was so much money inside.
"It's Ninja Bob Time!" Bob declared.
He dashed to the vault and put his blade hands to work, he slid the blades through the narrow gap in the door and moved swiftly. He felt the lock click as he sliced through it. Bob stepped back and the door opened, revealing a huge pile of money inside. And most of it was in bags.
Bob chuckled wickedly and grabbed as many money bags as he could, knowing that Wario would likely be after him. The clock was ticking, he knew that his opponent would never leave his own vault of loot unattended all day. Bob grabbed more money, then he stepped away from the vault and was about to head off until he heard a slight growl.
Wario had arrived.
The Garo turned and locked eyes with Mario's yellow and purple-clad counterpart, who seemed to boil with rage. Bob casually waved to him, but Wario was not having it.
"YOU PICKED THE WRONG HOUSE, FOOL!" He shouted, drawing a bat as he grit his teeth.
"So long, eh, Wario!" Bob declared and smacked the ground with a bladed hand, activating his ninja powers. A puff of smoke rose around him and Bob left the vault area, leaving Wario alone with a nearly empty vault. The anti-Mario dropped his bat wordlessly, then he clenched his fist and steam billowed from his ears. He growled angrily, and then he screamed to the sky with fury.
Somewhere else, Bob found himself on the grounds of a carnival. He looked about himself, looking at Mushroom City in the distance, then he looked at the Mushroom sign on the hill, and then he eyed the very area of the carnival itself.
It looked so colorful and inviting, with all of those games and rides. Bob thought back to his earlier idea of running a carnival as part of a scam, that was when he looked at all of the money he'd stolen and looked up at everything around him. Bob loved the sound of being the owner of this place, he even loved the idea of "Bob's Carnival". And he was going to buy it.
With all the money in hand, he made his way inside the carnival and looked around until he found the manager, who was none other than Jeeves the Fork. Jeeves looked at Bob and said, "We're closed, the carnival opens in a few days, what do you want?"
"I would like to buy your carnival. And I can pay you handsomely." Bob replied, he held up two bags full of coins, then he brought out the money from the wallets he'd taken, and then he handed it over to Jeeves.
"How would a few hundred coins and eight hundred dollars sound?" The Garo asked.
Jeeves' eyes lit up with glee and he took the money, then he grabbed an ownership contract and gave Bob a pen, instructing him to sign his name on the bottom here. Bob signed the contract with a wicked gleam in his eyes and soon, he was the owner of the newly-named Bob's Carnival. Soon, Bob would be leeching money from the carnival's attendees.
And he had the carnival games' prizes at his disposal, including the Eggman Football...