A few days had passed since that incident. After Stan returned from his vacation and was back in charge, things started returning to normalcy, or at least, as close to normalcy as things could get in the Mystery Shack. Needless to say, everyone learned something or other from that experience. Stan started being slightly more lenient to his employees and customers. Slightly more, of course. Sammy decided that this was the last time he would ever tell Stan how to run his own business. Dipper, Mabel, Wendy, and Soos learned that even though working for Stan was not always pleasant, they would never take it for granted ever again.
Unfortunately, while most of them came out of this experience relatively unscathed, Mabel was not so lucky. She was beginning to get over it, but the mental trauma she received from looking into the Gremloblin's eyes, a decision that she would regret for a long time, stuck with her. She never told anyone else what she saw, though, not even Dipper and Sammy. Stan was the only one who had no idea what had happened while he was gone, but even he noticed how quiet and reserved Mabel had become. He confronted her about it at one point, and when it became clear that he wouldn't take no for an answer, Mabel lied and said she had a nightmare. She wouldn't tell him what her "nightmare" was about either, but that didn't stop Stan from sitting down and having a heart-to-heart chat with her. He told her that, no matter what she was going through, that he was going to be there for her and comfort her if she ever needed it. It was the first and only time that Stan ever had a serious and heartfelt talk with someone, so he was quite rusty at it. Fortunately, that only made Mabel appreciate his efforts all the more.
Sammy, Dipper, Wendy, and Soos also made sure that Mabel felt safe and appreciated while she was with them. Sammy started knitting sweaters with her, a hobby that never failed to calm Mabel down and bring her to her happy place. Dipper started showing Mabel exciting new discoveries he found in his journal. Wendy was regularly bringing Mabel up to the roof, whether it was for pine cone target practice or to simply hang out. And Soos was cracking as many jokes as he could around her, and even started teaching her some skills he picked up as a handyman. Each and every one of them tried their best to help Mabel get over her trauma, and fortunately, it was working. As time went on, Mabel started to smile more and more, until eventually, it was as though the events of last week had never happened. Of course, there were a few telltale signs that the trauma hadn't fully left her, like how she would have trouble falling asleep or how she would nervously play with her hair more often than usual, but overall, she was getting better. As a small celebration, as well as an opportunity to get rid of some stuff, Stan decided to take them all to one of the shack's more famous and well-known attractions: the bottomless pit.
After driving there in the Mystery Cart, Stan stepped out and acted as though he was showing off to yet another group of tourists. "In this land of ours, there are many great pits. But none more bottomless than the bottomless pit. Which as you can see here is bottomless," he said, gesturing to the hole in front of them. It was large and seemed so deep that you couldn't see what was at the bottom, which did make this hole appear to be bottomless.
"Question. Is it bottomless?," asked Soos. Stan stared at him, then sighed. "Kids, can one of you try explaining this to Soos?," he groaned. "Grunkle Stan, why are we here again?," asked Dipper, having forgotten why they were here to begin with. "It's to celebrate, remember?," Sammy reminded him. "We're here because Mabel's finally gotten over her, um… nightmare." He glanced at Stan, who fortunately didn't seem to notice the small slip in his sentence. "Yeah, exactly!," said the conman. "Though it's a shame that Wendy couldn't make it. Something about 'family issues' and whatnot." "Mister Pines, Wendy had to stay home and take care of her father because you got him injured while wrestling a grizzly bear," Sammy deadpanned.
"Thanks for doing this for me, guys," Mabel said happily. "I've always wanted to get a closer look at the bottomless pit." She was initially against the idea of coming here, since she didn't want to come off as too needy, but judging by the large grin on her face, she was enjoying every minute of this. "You're very welcome, pumpkin," Stan said fondly. "But we're not just here to gawk at it. We're also here to dispose of things that we don't want." He took out a bunch of cards and tossed them into the pit. "So long, Mystery Shack suggestion cards!," he said. "Hold on. Mister Pines, I wrote those suggestion cards!," cried Sammy. Stan looked at him and raised his eyebrow. "Didn't we agree to let me worry about running the shack?," he asked rhetorically. Sammy opened his mouth to argue, then closed his mouth and shrugged. "Alright, you have a good point," he sighed. "Ooh, ooh! I have some stuff to throw away too!," said Mabel. She took out what appeared to be a bunch of letters, and threw them into the pit. "Goodbye, creepy love letters from Li'l Gideon! Die! Die!," she cried. To everyone else's confusion, Soos started taking his shoes off and throwing them into the pit. "What are you doing?," asked Dipper.
"Throwing stuff, dude. Everyone's doin' it," said Soos. He then grabbed a barbecue grill of all things and threw it into the pit. "Soos, we're throwing away junk we don't need, not random things like your shoes and a grill," sighed Sammy. "...oh," Soos said in realization, staring down into the pit. "...you think it's too late to get my shoes back somehow…?," he asked.
Then, to add even more to the confusion, Mabel suddenly started dragging a huge box that was locked in chains. "What you got there, Mabel?," asked Stan. "Oh, it's just my personal box of mysterious secrets. Nothing worth wondering about," Mabel said casually. With one final heave, she was able to push the box into the pit. "Goodbye forever!," she hollered.
"Grunkle Stan, do I really have to be the one to point out that a bottomless pit is, by definition, impossible?," Dipper asked skeptically. "Says you," Stan retorted, shaking some more cards into the pit from his fez. "And Dipper, after everything that we've seen, does a bottomless pit really seem that far fetched to you?," asked Sammy. "Well, I guess we'll never know if it really is bottomless or not," said Mabel, shrugging. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the wind began to pick up at an alarming rate, as dark clouds quickly began to cover up the sky. "Aah! It's some sort of invisible pushing force!," cried Soos. "Where did this storm even come from?!," asked Sammy, looking up at the sky. "There wasn't even any warning!" "Quick! Everyone back to the shack!," yelled Dipper as he started running towards the house. However, Stan wasn't done throwing his cards away just yet, and if there was one thing about Stan, it was that he refused to leave things unfinished. "I'm not done getting rid of these yet!," he said, trying to throw them away, only for the wind to blow them back into his face. "Grunkle Stan! No!," gasped Mabel.
"Almost… Almost… Almost!," Stan grunted, still trying to throw the cards away while everyone else tried to pull him away from the pit. "Mister Pines, just forget it! We'll come back tomorrow, but right now, we–!," yelled Sammy, but before he could finish his sentence, a strong gust of wind managed to knock all of them into the pit. As they fell through the darkness of the pit, they continued to scream for a while, but eventually, their screams slowly died down when they realized that nothing was happening. "So, anyone want to scream some more?," asked Soos. "Where are we?," asked Dipper. "It's pitch black in here. Did anyone bring a light with them?," asked Sammy. "I do!," said Mabel, taking out a glow stick and lighting it up, bathing them all in an eerie green light. "We're somewhere where it looks like we're nowhere," she said, looking around at their surroundings. She hung the glow stick on her arm and giggled as it went up due to the gravity. "It looks like we're falling into the pit right now," said Sammy. "Oh, no! Do you know what this means? We're gonna land on something eventually. It could be any second now," cried Dipper. Everyone braced themselves and waited, but nothing happened.
"Well… it looks like we're down here for the long haul. Who wants to see some card tricks?," asked Stan. He took out a deck of cards and tried to flip through them, but they ended up flying out of his hands and up into the air. "Tada!," he said awkwardly, doing jazz hands. Both Mabel and Sammy clapped at Stan's 'trick'. "Sammy, why are you clapping?," asked Dipper. "I'm just trying to remain optimistic, that's all," said Sammy. "Hey, maybe we should pass the time by telling stories," Soos suggested. "Great idea, Soos! Who wants to start?," asked Sammy. "I've got a story. It's called the time Grunkle Stan got us all thrown into a bottomless pit where we all spent the rest of our NATURAL LIVES!," Dipper yelled angrily. "Go on…," said Soos, gesturing for him to continue. "Come on, Dipper, you can do better than that," Mabel chided.
"Fine," sighed Dipper, taking Mabel's glow stick and holding it close to his face, creating an eerie atmosphere. "I'll tell you a story. A story I'd like to call 'Voice Over.'"
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Voice Over
"Ready?," asked Mabel, standing outside with Wendy, Soos, and Sammy. They were all standing around Waddles, who was passively laying on his belly. "Spin the Pig!," they cheered in unison as they spun Waddles around like a bottle. Eventually, the pig's snout stopped to point at Stan, who happened to be walking out the door right at that moment. "Hey! Grunkle Stan. Ever kissed a pig before?," asked Mabel. "I'm not gonna answer that question," said Stan. "That's not a 'no' I heard, Mister Pines," Sammy teased. Suddenly, Dipper ran up to them with a panicked expression on his face. "Guys! I think I just got bit by a snake! I need you to get me to a hospital quick!," he cried, his voice slightly cracking. Stan immediately started laughing.
"What? What's so funny?," asked Dipper, not seeing what could be so funny. "Sorry. It's just hard to focus on what you're saying with that squeaky puberty voice you got there," said the conman, chuckling. "My what?," asked Dipper. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, Dipper. Your voice is hillaaarrious!," laughed Mabel, imitating Dipper's voice. "Are you saying my voice cracks? My voice doesn't crack!," said Dipper, suddenly feeling quite self-conscious about his voice, to the point he had forgotten all about his snake bite. "Dude, no offense, but it cracks so much we've already made a techno remix out of it," said Soos, as he took out a tape recorder and played it. A recording of Dipper's voice started playing from the recorder. "Nice to meet you. My name's Dipper Pines, P-P-Pines, Pines, Pines. Nice to meet you. P-p-pines, Pines, Pines."
"Do I really sound like that?," asked Dipper, his face turning red with embarrassment. Sammy noticed how Dipper was reacting and tried to reassure him. "Your voice is nothing to be ashamed of, Dipper," he said. "Sure, it sounds a bit funny, but it's just part of what makes you… well, you. Don't let some tape recording tell you otherwise." "...you helped them make the remix, didn't you?," Dipper deadpanned, crossing his arms. Sammy chuckled bashfully and rubbed the back of his head. "Okay, you got me… but you have to admit, it's at least a tiny bit humorous…," he said. Dipper was about to refute that, but was cut off by his own voice from the tape recorder, which yelled out, "Stop it, guys!" in a very whiny tone. This caused everyone but Dipper to laugh even harder. "Give me that!," snapped Dipper, snatching the tape recorder from Soos' hand and stomping away with it. Sammy watched him leave with worried eyes. "I think we took it a bit too far. Should we go after him?," he asked. "Yeah, we could do that," said Mabel. "...Or we could keep playing…" "Spin the Pig!," Wendy and Soos cheered, while Sammy sighed and shook his head. Meanwhile, Dipper made his way to town and was walking aimlessly, with no destination in mind. By chance, he happened to find himself in the town dump without noticing.
While walking, Dipper sighed heavily, then cringed. "Even my sigh sounds weird," he said. "Hello there!," yelled Old Man McGucket, suddenly popping his head out of a hole in the trash, causing Dipper to scream. "I couldn't help but overhear your situation." He spat into his hand and held it out for a handshake. "Old Man McGucket, part-time inventor."
"Why do you spit on your hand?," asked Dipper, disgusted. "I don't rightly know," said McGucket, wiping the spit on his pants. After looking a little more closely, Dipper's eyes went wide in recognition. "Hey, I remember you! Your robot almost killed me!," he said angrily. The old man paid no heed to Dipper's anger and pulled him into a nearby alley. "Come here! Follow me into this dark and dangerous alley," he said. He eventually led him to a broken down truck, and Dipper was surprised to see what appeared to be an advanced chemistry set in the open trunk of the vehicle. McGucket took one of the mysterious liquids that was currently brewing in there and poured it into a cup. "Lately, I've been tickerizing with a voice alterizing tonic. On account of my horrrrifyin' voice!," McGucket screeched. A kid who happened to be nearby for some reason ran away, crying. "You can run, but I'll still be in your nightmares!," McGucket screamed after the running child. Dipper took the liquid and stared at it in fascination. "This will really fix my voice? Thanks!," he said, before gulping it down and leaving. Clearly, he had forgotten not to take weird drinks from strangers. "Come mornin', you'll sound like a new man… If you survive," McGucket said sinisterly. But by that point, Dipper was too far away to hear that last part.
The next morning, Dipper woke up and yawned. "Good morning Dipper," he said, and was taken aback by what came out of his mouth. His voice, which used to be high-pitched and scratchy, was now deep and baritone, like the voice of an opera singer. "I did it! I diiid it! Now I have a neeew voice! Ha ha ha!," he laughed, overjoyed by this new development.
He quickly ran up to Mabel's bedside. "Morning Mabel. Who's my favorite Mabel?," he asked. Mabel immediately woke up and screamed before taking a golf club from… somewhere and whacking her brother on the head. "Who are you?! What have you done with my brother?! Dipper! I'll save you from this body switching warlock!" Sammy was quickly woken up from this ruckus. "Huh?! Whuh?! What's going on?!," he cried, still a bit disoriented. "Guys, it's me. This is my voice now. I sound awesome. Soouund aaawesome," said Dipper, testing out his new voice. "I know boys' voices change, but this is weird. Weird and bad," said Mabel. She didn't know why, but hearing that deep voice coming from her brother's mouth felt… wrong.
"What happened to you, Dipper?," Sammy asked worriedly, checking him over. "Is this because of a cold? No, even that wouldn't change someone's voice to this degree…" "It's not a cold, Sammy. McGucket gave me one of his potions, and after I drank it, it changed my voice into this! Isn't that amaaazing?," said Dipper. "McGucket," groaned Sammy, facepalming. "Didn't I warn him about giving away his inventions to random people? Don't worry, Dipper. I'll visit him the first chance I get and sort this whole mess out. Hopefully, he'll have an antidote for… this." "But Sammy, this is the best thing that has ever happened to me," Dipper protested. "And just think of the prank calls." He picked up the phone and dialed in a random number.
"Hello?," a deep and gruff voice answered. "Hello, this is the President of the United States of America," said Dipper. "I am calling to tell you…" He started blowing raspberries into the phone, which only angered the man on the other end. "What? Who is this?!," he yelled, but Dipper hung up. "Magnificent!," he laughed. "Really, Dipper? I can think of way more productive things you could do with a new voice other than prank calling," Sammy said disapprovingly. "And are you sure this is what you want? For all we know, there could be no way to reverse it." "Well, that makes it even better!," Dipper proclaimed confidently. "Everyone had better get used to my new voice, because it's here to stay!" "Mabel no like," Mabel murmured to herself.
Dipper walked down to the gift shop, where Soos was cleaning the floor with a broom. "How are you diddly-doing, Soos?," he asked. Soos reacted just like Mabel did and whacked on Dipper's head with the broom. "Kill it! Kill it with fire! Everyone flee!," he cried.
"What gives, man? You guys all made fun of my old voice. I thought you'd like the new one," Dipper complained. Soos quickly calmed down, but he was still a little on edge. "Well, at least before you sounded like a real person. Now, you sound like some weird commercial dude," he said. Dipper was starting to get more than a little disgruntled. "I'll find Stan. He'll like my new voice. You'll see. I'll be right back after these messages!.. I mean… goodbye," he said, fumbling over his own words as he walked out of the shack. He decided to begin his search for Stan in the town. "Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan! Where are you, Grunkle Stan?," he hollered, walking around. However, as he walked past the same bar where he and his friends interrogated Manly Dan, the bouncer outside the door instantly recognized Dipper's voice. "Huh? I know that voice anywhere! You're that guy that prank-called me earlier!," he yelled. "No I'm not. I'm a 12 year old boy," said Dipper, nervously backing away. Unfortunately, his unnaturally deep voice caused the bouncer to mistake Dipper for a grown man who just looked like a kid. "You expect me to believe that? You crazy-voiced punk!," he growled. "Wait! No!," Dipper cried, running away.
The bouncer stuck his head into the bar, where a bunch of other large, muscular men were sitting and drinking inside. "There's a prank caller on the loose! Let's get him!," the bouncer yelled. Everyone in the bar roared in agreement and ran out of the bar after Dipper.
As Dipper ran and frantically looked around for anywhere to hide, he spotted a hole up ahead. "Escaaape!," he hollered, jumping into it. Fortunately, none of the men saw him jump in and ran right past his hiding place. After they were well out of sight, Dipper decided that enough was enough, and went towards the source of all this madness. "McGucket! Your invention was a catastrophe!," he yelled, running to him. "That's probably why I live in a dump!," said McGucket, doing a crazy dance. "My own sister didn't recognize me. I scared away crowds. I even sound ridiculous when I cry," Dipper sobbed, and his voice did in fact make his crying sound rather silly. McGucket took the empty vial from Dipper and observed it closely. "Well, now. Here's your problem. I gave you the wrong drinking majiggy. This one's for voice over professionals. I'm sure I got a better voice in here somewhere," he said, digging around in the trunk. "Good! Hurry up!," said Dipper, waiting anxiously. "You got here just in time. Come sundown, you'd be back to your ridiculous old voice," said McGucket. "It was ridiculous, wasn't it?," Dipper asked sadly, taking out the tape recorder that he took from Soos and playing it. "D-D-Dipper Pines. That's me!," his voice spoke from it, causing Dipper to cringe again. But then, to his surprise, he heard Mabel's voice come out next. "This remix is dedicated to my brother. Dipper, your voice is one of a kind," she said. Dipper couldn't help but smile a little. "Dude, I've never heard anything like it," Soos' voice came next. Then, it was Sammy's turn. "Hey, Dipper. If you're listening to this, we made this remix just for you. Hope you like it!" Dipper smiled again, feeling much more reassured now that he knew they didn't make this remix just to mock him. They're genuinely fond of his voice, even if they found it funny, and this was their way to make more memories of it.
"Soos, would you like to do the honors?," Sammy's voice asked. "Sure, dude! R-r-remix over!," said Soos' voice, making an explosion noise. Then, the recording ended.
At the same time, McGucket finally found what he was looking for. "Are you ready for your new voice? This one should be permanent!," he said, giving Dipper the new potion. Instead of drinking it right away, Dipper looked between the potion and the recorder, wondering what he should do next. Making up his mind, he slowly brought the potion to his lips…
Later that night, Dipper returned to the shack and saw Mabel, Sammy, and Soos in the living room together, watching television. They stared at him when he walked in and waited for his new voice. Dipper opened his mouth… "Hey guys," he said in his normal voice.
"Dipper!," Mabel cried happily. "Dude, you're back!," said Soos. "It's good to hear your old voice again, Dipper," said Sammy. "But… what changed your mind?" "I guess I realized that even though my voice may not be perfect, it's still mine, and I wouldn't change it for anything, not even for whatever was in this new vial," Dipper explained, holding out the now empty vial. "So, what did you do with the rest of that potion?," asked Mabel. "I dumped it in Stan's coffee," said Dipper. Right then and there, Stan walked into the living room with his cup of coffee. "Have any of you kids seen mah girdle? Where mah girdle at?," he asked, his voice now sounding like a sassy old woman's. Everyone else burst into laughter, much to Stan's bewilderment. "What? What's so funny? I'm Grunkle Stay-an! Kids laughing. Laughing at they Grunkle."
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"I spy with my little eye something that is… Black!," said Mabel. "Ooh ooh! Everything!," Soos said excitedly. "Yay for Soos!," cheered Mabel. "Yay for Soos!," Soos repeated. Dipper was already fed up with the game and had his arms crossed, frowning miserably.
"Cheer up, Dipper," Sammy said encouragingly. "Why don't you join in on the game? It could be fun." "It would be fun, if there was anything here other than total darkness to look for," Dipper groaned. "Hey guys, who wants to pass the time by spinning? Everyone spin!," cried Mabel. "No," Dipper replied stubbornly. However, Mabel gave him no choice and forcibly spun him around by running on him like she was running on a rolling log. "Yaay!," she cried, ignoring the painful grunts that were coming from Dipper. "Dipper's pain is funny, but I'm starting to get bored. Soos, tell a story," said Stan. Meanwhile, Dipper was screaming while spinning through the air, but Sammy was able to stop him just in time, which was lucky for all of them, because Dipper was this close to losing his lunch, and in a place like this where gravity appeared to be practically non-existent, that was the last thing that any of them wanted to happen.
"Really? Okay," Soos said excitedly, taking the glow stick. "This story is called 'Soos' really good Pinball story. Is that a good title? Does it have to be a pun or whatever?'"
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Soos' Really Good Pinball Story. Is That A Good Title? Does It Have To Be A Pun?
"Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!," Dipper, Mabel, and Sammy cheered as they watched Soos play an old pinball game at the back of the shack. And right now, the handyman wasn't doing half bad. "This is it, dudes. After 4 long years of trying, I might finally get a high score on Stan's creepy old pinball machine. If I do this, I'll go down in pinball history, with the likes of Sal, Gaff, and of course, Poo," said Soos. "Have you ever tried maybe tilting the machine?," asked Dipper. "I don't know, dudes, isn't breaking the rules like, against the rules?," asked Soos. "Nuts to the rules! Tilt! Tilt! Tilt!," cried Mabel. "Come on, guys," said Sammy. "Soos could cheat, but where would the fun be in that? Wouldn't it feel a lot more rewarding to win the game with nothing but hard work and a never-give-up attitude?" But right then, Soos lost the game for what felt like the thousandth time. "Failure! You stink!," said the little mechanical cowboy skull inside of the pinball machine. "I don't know, dude. It doesn't feel so good right now," said Soos. Then, he frowned in determination. "All right, that's it! Are you ready, kids?," he asked. "Hold on a minute," Sammy said. "Guys, you're not actually going to–" "Tilt! Tilt! Tilt! Tilt!," the twins chanted, helping Soos tilt the pinball machine so that the ball could go into the goal. "Quit tiltin', partner. Quit tiltin'!," said the little cowboy skull. Ignoring the warning, Soos yelled, "Tilt!" and finally managed to tilt the ball into the goal. "Bulls-eye! New high score!," the pinball machine blared out.
"This is the best moment of my life. This totally beats my old best moment," said Soos, fondly thinking back to when he found and ate a slice of pizza that was inside of a VHS player. "I mean, you could've kept playing normally until you won, instead of cheating like that," murmured Sammy. "He's got a point, partner. You cheated. And that ain't right," the cowboy skull suddenly spoke, shocking everyone except for Mabel. "Oh, yeah. What are you gonna do about it? You're just a Pinball game, Pinball game. Taunt, taunt," she said mockingly. Suddenly, the pinball game was surrounded by menacing arches of green electricity. "Uh, guys, there's an awful lot of green lightning coming out of that game," Dipper said nervously. "No, I think that's the normal amount of green lightning," said Soos. "Everyone, get back!," cried Sammy, but it was already too late. The green lightning shot out from the machine and struck all four of them, causing the group to vanish. Fortunately, they weren't vaporized, but they weren't exactly safe either…
"Uh, 5 more minutes," groaned Soos, hearing a loud, ringing sound in his ears. Initially, he thought it was his alarm clock, but then, he noticed that he was laying on top of something that was large, round, and most of all, loud. He opened his eyes and realized that he was not in his bedroom as he had previously thought, but rather, in a strange place that was both alien and also strangely familiar to him. He got up and looked down at what he had been sleeping on. "Ah! That's not a normal alarm clock," he cried, staring at what appeared to be a giant red buzzer. He looked down and realized that he was now wearing old-fashioned western clothing.
Then, Dipper, Mabel, and Sammy ran up to him, wearing the same types of clothes as himself. "Soos! We're inside the game! Crazy!," cried Dipper. "Sweet Moses!," gasped Mabel as she looked around in awe. "Hushed exclamation of wonder!," Soos said in amazement.
Indeed, they really were inside of the game. Somehow, they had been shrunken down to the size of miniature figurines. Surrounding them were giant red buzzers, like the one that Soos had been sleeping on, western themed decorations, and other various things that could only be found in, well, a pinball machine. "This is so strange," murmured Sammy, looking around at their surroundings, as well as inspecting his own clothes. "Alright guys, we'd better be careful. Make sure not to touch anything." "Uh, Sammy?," said Dipper, pointing at Mabel, who was jumping on the buzzers excitedly. "Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing!," she cried. "Mabel, get down from there!," Sammy gasped, quickly running over to her and pulling her away from the buzzers.
"Dude, if this is a dream, I never want to wake up!," said Soos. "That can be arranged," said a sinister voice. Turning in the direction of that voice, they saw the mechanical cowboy skull from earlier. "Welcome to Tumbleweed Terror, partners," it said. "Hey, it's the skeleton cowboy guy. Did you zap me into your game to congratulate me on getting my new score? I beat Poo, dude!," said Soos. "Uh, Soos? I don't think it brought us here to congratulate us," Sammy said worriedly. "That's right. If'n I do recall, I did warned ya'll not to cheat. I tried to be gentleman-like, but I'm plum sick of being tilted. So, now I reckon, I'm gonna tilt you," said the skull.
"Well, take this!," said Soos, as he punched one of the buttons. However, his fist ended up bouncing off and hitting himself in the eye. "Ow! And this!" He punched the button again, and the same thing happened. "Ow! It hurts. I wish this was working better. And this! Aw, dude!" He finally ended up knocking himself out. "Soos!," the others cried. The skull laughed wickedly. "Get yourselves ready for the…," it spoke, and even though it didn't finish its sentence, everyone else knew what was in store for them. "Multi-Ball!," they cried fearfully. Suddenly, multiple giant balls popped out of the holes in the walls and rolled towards them Indiana Jones style.
As they barely jumped out of the way, Dipper noticed a wall that they could hide behind. "Over there!," he yelled, pointing at it. The group ran over to the wall and hid behind it. "Where are you? I'm not done teaching you a lesson about cheating yet," said the skull, looking around for them. "We've brought ourselves some time, but it won't be long until he finds us again," said Sammy. "How are we gonna get out of here? Think, guys," Dipper said frantically.
"I'm trying. But it's hard with that gorgeous pinball wench distracting me," said Soos, glancing at a nearby cutout of a woman. He even waved at it shyly. "Okay. Don't worry, guys, I know every inch of this machine," he said, getting back to business. "There's a manual power switch inside. I can sneak in there and turn off the game. But we'll have to distract the cowboy guy. Are any of you good at jumping up and down and making annoying noises?"
Mabel suddenly stared off into the distance with a determined look in her eyes, the wind dramatically blowing through her hair. "My time has come," she uttered. "It's as good a plan as any, I guess," said Sammy. "Alright, let's go, Soos. Soos?," said Dipper, noticing that Soos was not responding. The handyman was too busy flirting with the cutout wench. "So are you, like, doing anything later?," he asked it. Dipper irritatedly walked up to the cutout and kicked it down. "Oh, right," said Soos, as though he just realized that the cutout wasn't even alive.
Meanwhile, the skull was still trying to look for them. "Come on out and show yourselves, varmints," it said. Suddenly, Mabel ran into view and began jumping on one of the buzzers while being as loud as possible. "Hey! Hey! Hey! Look at me and listen to what I'm doing! BUZZZZZZ! DISTRACTION! DISTRACTION! LA! LA! LA! LA! LA!," she screamed. At the same time, Dipper sang at the top of his lungs to add to the confusion, while Sammy did cartwheels and recited pi as loud as he could. The skull watched them with interest. "Something ain't right here. Let me see where this is going," it said, falling for their trap. Meanwhile, Soos got into a small cart and rolled down behind the skull. "Ha ha ha ha. Yippy ti yi what? Where are ya? Darnit, I wish I had a neck," said the skull, unable to turn its head around. Soos walked up to the lever, but for some reason, he just stood there without doing anything. "Soos, pssssst. What's going on? Just press the switch already!," Dipper said urgently. Soos turned to face them. "Okay, so I was gonna do that, but I've been thinking," he said. "According to this, turning off the power erases the high score permanently. That score is like my one big life accomplishment." "Soos, forget about the high score!," scolded Sammy. "If you don't push that button, we're all going to die!"
"Fair point. But, what is life anyway when compared to the immortality of a high score?," asked Soos. "Soos, are you out of your–?," cried Dipper, only to be interrupted by none other than the mechanical cowboy skull. "There ya'll are," it said, having finally found them. "Get ready to meet your maker, kids. My maker is Ballway Games in Redmond, Washington." It opened its mouth and inhaled, causing a great gust of air to suck in Dipper, Mabel, and Sammy. The three of them tried to fight against it, but it was too strong. "Soos!," cried Dipper. "Soos, please!," cried Mabel. "Turn it off, now!," cried Sammy. "Uhhh. Uhh," Soos stammered, torn between saving his friends and preserving his high score. Then, he sighed heavily, already knowing which decision he was going to take. "Goodbye, high score," he said sadly, pushing the button…
Then, Soos, Sammy, and the twins woke up back in the real world, safe and sound. "Woah! You dudes okay?," asked Soos. "Yes! You did it! You freed us!," said Mabel. "I knew you'd make the right decision in the end, Soos!," Sammy said proudly. "Hey man, I'm sorry you had to lose your high score," Dipper apologized. But Soos brushed it off. "That's okay. I've got a new life accomplishment now. Saving you dudes," he said. "Awwwww," the others said in unison as they all engaged in a group hug. "You think that pinball wench will call me?," Soos asked out of the blue. Sammy couldn't help but chuckle. "Probably not," he said jokingly. "But don't worry. I'm sure that you'll find someone someday. Who knows? She might be the most beautiful girl in the world. The two of you could spend your whole lives together, and she could even help you run the Mystery Shack after Stan retires. Just imagine, you and her sitting together in front of a fireplace, drinking from cups of hot cocoa and reminiscing over fond memories, like the time when you were finally adopted by Stan and changed your name to Stan Junior…"
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"Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm gonna stop you right there, Soos!," said Stan, interrupting Soos' story. "That story was dumb enough as it was, and then ya had to tack on that really weird and uncomfortable ending. Seriously, I can't believe this nonsense. Magic tonics? Soos winning at something? Where did you come up with this stuff?" "You think you can come up with a better story, Mister Pines?," Sammy asked skeptically, crossing his arms. "Of course I can!," scoffed Stan. "I'll tell you all a good story. It's called 'Grunkle Stan wins the football bowl'."
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Grunkle Stan Wins The Football Bowl
The entire crowd held their breath as they watched Stan run across the field with the football tucked under his arm. The other football players - big, burly men - could only hope to stop him. Stan eventually made it to the goal post and made a touchdown, causing the entire crowd to cheer his name. Then, the conman started doing a cocky victory dance.
The football players, despite having lost, walked up to him with smiles of admiration and respect. "Mr. Pines, I thought that old folks were useless, but you taught me and my gloating friends a lesson," one of them said. "Here is your football winning trophy, Mr. Pines," said a beautiful woman in a purple dress, sitting on a massive trophy that had just arrived.
"Thanks, beautiful woman. But I couldn't have done it without my sidekick, Footbot," said Stan. Footbot, a small robot with legs but no arms, danced happily. "Thank you for building me, daddy!," it said. Stan and the football players laughed heartily as fireworks went off behind them. "I love you, Stan," said Footbot. The crowd continued to roar in thunderous applause.
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"Boooooo!," everyone else cried, interrupting Stan's story. "Come on! Ridiculous!," said Dipper. "Prejudis!," said Soos. "That was really dumb!," Mabel complained. Stan was bewildered by their reactions. "What? That story was great! I even threw in a talking robot for the kids," he said. "Mister Pines, that story was literally just about you winning something," said Sammy. "It had no substance! Where was the drama, the tension, the unnecessary forbidden romance?" "Oh, yeah?," asked Stan, crossing his arms. "If you're such an expert on storytelling, why don't you tell one yourself?" "Oh, yeah! You didn't tell us a story yet, Sammy," said Dipper. Sammy winced at the attention he was suddenly getting. "I'm… not so good when it comes to stories," he said sheepishly. "Um… oh! Mabel, why don't you tell one before I do?" "Gladly!," said Mabel, taking the glow stick. "I'm gonna tell a non-terrible story. A story called 'Trooth Ache!'"
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Trooth Ache
Stan, Dipper, Mabel, and Sammy were standing in the driveway while watching Manly Dan trying to tie up a grizzly bear. And no, this was not an exaggeration in any way…
"This attraction is gonna make me a fortune. Easy with that bear, Corduroy! I need him in showroom condition," said Stan. Manly Dan gave a nod, then wrestled the bear down as it tried to escape. "Aaaaawww. They're hugging," Mabel cooed. "I'm watching someone wrestle a bear right now," Sammy said. "And to think, this is normal compared to what we go through on a daily basis." "So, let me get this straight. Your plan is to teach a bear to ride a bicycle?," Dipper asked Stan. "No," said Stan, who scoffed at the very idea. "Come on, everyone's seen a bicycle-riding bear. No, no. I'm gonna teach this bear… to drive!" "...what," Sammy deadpanned.
Of course, Stan wouldn't be Stan if he didn't come up with the most outrageous of schemes just to fill up his pockets. Before you could say "Bears aren't supposed to drive", the group found themselves squeezed in Stan's old car. Sammy and the twins were in the backseat, while Stan and the bear were sitting up front. Only this time, the bear was driving.
As they were driving down the road, Stan was giving the bear advice on how to drive properly. Sammy didn't know what to be concerned over more; Stan thinking that the bear could somehow understand what he was saying, or the fact that his advice was terrible.
"And the yellow light means speed up," Stan was explaining to the bear, when suddenly, they could hear police sirens going off behind them. "Uh oh," Stan murmured, motioning for the bear to stop the car. The police car slowly pulled up behind them, and Blubs and Durland went up to the passenger window. "What seems to be the problem, officers?," asked Stan, pretending to be oblivious. "There better be a darn good explanation for this," Blubs said crossly.
"Oh, there is," said Stan. "You see, I'm a very old man. Not long for this Earth. And the doctors assigned me a seeing eye bear to drive me to the hospital in case of an emergency." It was probably the most ridiculous lie that Sammy had ever heard, and he was pretty certain that no cop with any sense would fall for it. Then again, it was Blubs and Durland…
"Is that right? Then, where is your doctor's note?," asked Blubs. "Why, it's right here, inside my jacket," said Stan, reaching into his pocket as though he was reaching for something. However, Sammy's keen eyes could immediately tell that Stan was writing something hidden in his pocket, and judging by the disappointed look on Mabel's face, she saw it too.
"There you go," said Stan, handing over the note that he just wrote down. It said Stan is sick and needs a bear. - Dr. Medicine. "Well, I can't argue with Dr. Medicine," said Blubs, giving the note back to Stan. Sammy sighed in disappointment. He was glad and somewhat proud of the two cops for taking their job more seriously, but sheesh, they were not that bright.
"To the hospital, honeypants!," said Stan. The bear growled and drove away. Fortunately, they didn't end up in a crash or get eaten, which Sammy thought was a miracle. However, that didn't mean he was ready to let Stan off the hook, and the same went for Mabel. After they got back to the shack in one piece, the two of them agreed to confront Stan about his lying problem. Sammy may have agreed to back off when it came to Stan's business practice, but that did not mean he was going to stand by and let the conman fool and trick innocent people.
The two of them found Stan creating one of his newer attractions. He was painting a bunch of rocks yellow to make them look like real gold. Mabel was the first to speak. "Grunkle Stan, how could you lie to those policemen? Don't you know lying is always wrong?," she said. "Mabel, when you get to be my age, you'll learn that you sometimes have to bend the truth for the greater good," said Stan, suddenly taking out a plate of spaghetti and slurping it up. "Where did you get that spaghetti from?," asked Sammy. "...Somewhere," Stan said vaguely.
Then, Dipper walked into the room. "Hey, have any of you seen my plate of spaghetti?," he asked. Stan stiffened for a moment, then slurped up a noodle and faced Dipper while hiding the plate behind his back. His mouth was covered in sauce, yet Dipper didn't seem to notice for some reason. "No… But I bet Soos has. You know how he likes to eat," he said.
Dipper looked down and shook his head. "This is a dark day. Thanks, Grunkle Stan," he said, running out of the room. "See? Greater good," said Stan, continuing to eat the spaghetti once he was sure that Dipper was out of earshot. "Aaaaah! Sammy, say something!," Mabel cried out in frustration. Sammy sighed. "Mister Pines, why do you feel the need to lie so much?," he asked curiously. "Would it really kill you to tell the truth once in a while?" Stan finished eating the spaghetti and wiped the sauce from his mouth. "Listen Sammy, you might not understand this now, but trust me, I'm doing you all a huge favor by lying all the time," he said. "Trust me, there are plenty of truths that you're better off not knowing. Now if you'll excuse me…" He took the now empty plate and walked out of the room, whistling casually. Sammy sighed and looked down at Mabel. "Sorry, Mabel. We tried," he said, before walking out of the room as well. Mabel looked disappointed too, but unlike Sammy, she wasn't ready to admit defeat yet…
Later that day, Mabel was alone in the attic, laying on her bed while holding up Waddles with her legs. "Waddles, what am I gonna do about Grunkle Stan?," she asked, before moving the pig's mouth to make it appear he's talking back. "He needs to stop lying," she said, voicing Waddles. "I know, but how do we stop him?," she sighed. "Sammy doesn't think there's any way, but I know there is." "Maybe you should check Dipper's journal. Oink oink," Waddles "said" back. "Say oink one more time," said Mabel. "Oink oink." "Waddles, you genius!," cried Mabel, sitting up. She walked over to Dipper's bed, where the journal was lying, and flipped through it until she found what she was looking for. "'Buried beneath a tree's stump in the deep forest are the truth teeth, which forces upon the wearer the inability to lie.' Hmmm," said Mabel.
That night, Mabel sneaked into Stan's room as he was sleeping. She took out the truth teeth, a golden set of teeth that she dug up in the forest. She shoved the teeth into Stan's open mouth, which was enough to wake him up. "What? What's going on? Huh? Mabel?," he asked, bolting up. "Quick question. What happened to Dipper's spaghetti plate?," asked Mabel. To her delight, Stan answered honestly and immediately. "I ate it because I have little to no concern about other people's possessions or emotions," the conman replied casually, before realizing what he just said. "That was strangely candid. Almost as if I am unable to lie," he mused, then brushed it off. "Well, good night," he said, before going back to sleep immediately.
The next morning, at the breakfast table, Mabel told Dipper and Sammy everything that happened last night. Their reactions were… not quite what she was expecting. "You what? That seems like a horrible idea!," said Dipper. "Yeah. I'm all for getting Stan to stop lying, but this is a bit much," Sammy agreed. "No, it's great! Now he has to tell the truth," said Mabel.
Then, Stan walked into the room and handed out plates to each of them. "Scrambled meat, here it is," he said. At that moment, Dipper saw an opportunity to test him. "Stan, what do you do in secret everyday during your lunch break?," he asked. This turned out to be the worst mistake he would ever make in his life. "Usually, I spend the hour aggressively scratching myself in places I shouldn't mention," Stan replied bluntly, much to everyone's disgust. The conman did not even seem aware of what he was saying. Then, he took out a newspaper and covered his face with it. "Now I'm going to avoid making eye contact by pretending to read this newspaper and going to the bathroom without washing my hands," he said, leaving the room.
"Eeeeeeewww!," the others cried in unison. "Well, that was disturbing," said Dipper. "Yeah. I think I'm starting to understand what Stan meant yesterday when he said there were some truths that we were better off not knowing," said Sammy, grimacing. "Don't worry, guys. The truth is always a good thing," Mabel reassured them, trying to stay optimistic.
Unfortunately, that turned out not to be the case at all. With Stan being unable to lie, he ended up causing much more chaos in the shack than ever before. One time, in the gift shop, a customer walked up to him with a shirt that he had planned on buying. "Hey, excuse me. Do you think this t-shirt is my size?," he asked. "Never mind the t-shirt! Hey everyone, look at this guy's abnormal and unattractive face!," Stan cackled, mockingly pointing at the man, grabbing every other customer's attention. Sammy and Mabel immediately ran over. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," murmured Mabel, leading the sad man away. "What was that, Mister Pines?," Sammy asked Stan crossly. "What? I'm being honest!," Stan said defensively, raising an eyebrow.
Another time was when Stan started doing his own taxes, a task that he usually left to Sammy instead. "Doing my taxes," he hummed, adding one more slip of paper onto the stack next to him. Dipper took one of them off the stack and read it. "Uh, Grunkle Stan, why did you write this?," he asked, pointing at the words I HAVE COMMITED TAX FRAUD that Stan wrote in bold letters. "Because I regularly commit massive tax fraud," replied Stan, continuing to work on his taxes. "You might wanna… tuck that one away there," Dipper said nervously, putting the slip of paper into a nearby paper shredder. "And also the rest of them while you're at it…"
But none of those could hold a candle to that time when everyone, including Sammy, Stan, and the twins, were watching television late at night together. They were all laughing and having a good time, and then, out of nowhere, Stan dropped a bombshell on them.
"Sometimes, I think. Is this all there is? Is life just some kind of horrific joke without a punch line? That we're just biding our time until the sweet, sweet, release of death?"
For the rest of the night, Mabel was rocking back and forth with a scarred look on her face, Dipper was sobbing into his hands, Sammy laid face down on the carpet motionless, and Stan continued watching TV, completely unaware of the misery he had just caused.
The next morning wasn't much better. Sammy and the twins stayed up in the attic for most of the day in an effort to avoid Stan, but that only caused the conman to resort to yelling up at them every chance he got. "Kids, I think I have a growth forming on my back. Just wanted to be honest with you guys," he hollered. "Alright, that's it!," snapped Sammy, bolting up. His eyes were bloodshot and his hair, which was usually clean and neat, was in disarray. "Come on, you two. We're going to find as much duct tape as possible, wrap Stan up like a mummy, and lock him away into the deepest, darkest cave we can find!" "Uh, let's not take it that far," Dipper said quickly. "But yeah, I can't take it anymore, Mabel! We need to take those teeth out of his mouth." "But then he'll be a liar again," said Mabel. "Could it possibly be any worse than this?," asked Dipper. "I'm completely on board with Dipper," said Sammy. "We need to get those teeth away from Stan now." Suddenly, the doorbell downstairs rang. Wondering who could be at the door, the three of them ran downstairs and saw Stan answering the door. To their surprise, it was Blubs and Durland, and it didn't look like they were here for a small, pleasant visit.
"So, after further investigation, it turns out that there is no Dr. Medicine in Gravity Falls," said Blubs. "You better have a darn good explanation for this," said Durland. "Oh and I do. You see, I lied to you. In addition I've been parking in handicapped spaces, shoplifting fireworks, and smuggling endangered animals across multiple state lines. Also, you're fat," Stan said, all in one breath. The two cops stared at him in shock, with Blubs even dropping his coffee.
"Is all of this true?," Blubs asked angrily. Dipper, Mabel, and Sammy quickly ran over to Stan's rescue. "No! No, it's not true. Right, guys?," Dipper asked nervously. "Uh, y-yeah!," said Sammy, quickly nodding. "You see, Stan is, uh…" He couldn't help but feel guilty about lying to the cops like that, but if it was going to prevent his boss from being arrested and thrown in jail, then so be it. "Uh, sirs, I have to be completely and totally honest with you. Our Great Uncle Stan is… is… Stan is… secretly a crime fiction writer!," Mabel suddenly blurted out.
"What?," asked Blubs. "Yeah. He was just telling you about a character in his upcoming page turner, Crime Grandpa!," Mabel rattled on. "He's never committed a crime in his life. Also, have you lost weight?" To their surprise, the cops took the bait. "Finally! Someone noticed," said Blubs. "Wow, an author! Can you teach me how to read?," Durland asked the conman. "What? Author?," murmured Stan. "Ha ha, writer, master of fiction. Good night, officers," said Mabel as she quickly closed the door on them. Then, she sighed heavily. Meanwhile, Stan went to go do something else. "Hey, you alright?," asked Dipper. "I can't believe I lied," Mabel muttered. "Hey, don't feel too bad, Mabel," said Sammy, rubbing her shoulder comfortingly. "Sometimes it's okay to lie, as long as it's for the greater good. I think we've all learned a pretty valuable lesson, guys. Sometimes… honesty isn't always the best policy." "Yeah, I guess," sighed Mabel.
Suddenly, they heard Stan talking on the phone. "Hello? Police station? I forgot to tell him about my tax fraud. No, tax fraud," he spoke on the phone. The twins quickly tackled him to the floor while Sammy picked up the phone. "Eh heh heh, sorry about that! That was just our, um, grandpa. He thought he was calling the pizza place. Um, anyway, bye!," he said nervously, quickly hanging up. "Hey, get off me! What's gotten into you kids?," Stan grumbled.
Mabel pulled the truth teeth out of Stan's mouth. "We have to find a place to get rid of these!," she cried. So after some talking and arguing, they finally decided to lock it in a box and throw it into the bottomless pit where Stan was going to take them next week.
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"And I never saw that box full of magical teeth again," said Mabel, finishing her story. "Oh wait, there it is." She pointed at the big, chained up box that she tossed away earlier, which was falling alongside them. "Huh. How did we not notice that before?," Sammy murmured. Soos then saw his shoes also falling nearby. "Oh, sweet! My shoes!," he said, grabbing them and putting them back on. "I like the part with the bear. The rest of it seems pretty far-fetched," said Stan, who apparently had no memory of any of this occurring. "Mabel, we already know that story! We just lived through it," groaned Dipper. "If we're living through that story right now, then how does it end?," Soos asked philosophically. "You're asking the real questions, Soos," Sammy said with a nod. "Okay, seriously, how long are we gonna keep falling for?," asked Stan.
"I have no idea, Mister Pines," said Sammy, gazing down at the pitch black abyss below them. "It still doesn't seem like we're going to stop anytime soon." "Ooh! That means we have time to hear a story from you this time, Sammy!," Mabel said excitedly. "Oh, yeah! Did you come up with one?," Dipper asked curiously. "...I have," Sammy said hesitantly. "And this one is a bit… special, because, like Mabel's story, it actually happened." Suddenly, Mabel let out a loud, sharp gasp while squishing her cheeks. "Are we gonna hear a story about your childhood?!," she cried loudly. That got everyone's attention, even Stan. Since his very first day of working at the shack, Sammy had kept his past largely a secret from everyone, so they were quite eager to hear more about it. "Okay, so… where do I begin?," Sammy murmured. "Dipper, Mabel. Do you remember when you both traveled back in time and met younger me?" "Hold on, they did what now?," Stan asked in bewilderment. "Oh yeah, we remember," said Dipper. "Back then, you were kind of… uh…" "You're not going to offend me. You can say it, guys," said Sammy, chuckling.
"Okay. You were kind of a jerk. Like, a big jerk," said Dipper. "A massive one!," Mabel cried out, holding her arms out. "Yeah, you're right about all that," said Sammy. "I was more than just a jerk, though. I was an insecure bully who thought he could get whatever he wanted just by throwing his weight around. It's easy to pin all the blame on my dad, but… that's still no excuse for how I acted, especially towards you two. Again, I'm really sorry about that, guys."
"Sammy, you don't have to keep apologizing to us. Like we said, it's all water under the bridge," said Dipper, shrugging. "Okay, I am seriously lost here," muttered Stan, scratching his head in confusion. "Yeah, dude. I mean, how could you have ever been a bully? You're, like, the nicest guy I know," said Soos. "Thanks, but there's a lot you don't know about me, Soos," sighed Sammy. "And Mister Pines, you probably won't believe me, but during that fair a few weeks ago, Dipper and Mabel went back in time after stealing someone's time machine, and that's how they met younger me. Just wanted to clear up the confusion." The conman rolled his eyes. "Yeesh, you have an even crazier imagination than the twins," he said, crossing his arms.
"Anyway, the story I'm about to tell you all takes place not long after Dipper and Mabel went back to the present," Sammy continued. "I'd like to say that I became a better person after they literally saved my life, but… well, let's just say that didn't happen until way later on in my life. Don't worry, I'll save that story for another time. But for now, I'll tell you all a story about the time I met someone who changed my life forever. Someone who still holds a very special place in my heart, even now. This is a story that I'd like to call… 'It's Lonely At The Top'..."
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It's Lonely At The Top
As Sammy stalked through the school hallway, every other kid made sure to keep their distance, avoiding him like the plague. The fear in their eyes gave Sammy a twisted sense of joy and satisfaction. Good, he thought to himself darkly. They should be afraid of me.
It's been a few days since those two older kids saved him from falling off a cliff. He could barely even remember their names, but their faces were now ingrained into his memory, much to his dismay. He briefly wondered if he was ever going to meet those two again…
Class time was about to begin. Sammy walked into one of the classrooms with his books tucked under his arm. Most of the students were already there, but the teacher was nowhere to be seen. The moment he stepped into the room, every other kid immediately stopped what they were doing and stared at him in fear. The loud chatter that once filled the room had gone totally silent. Sammy couldn't help but smile wickedly. He loved it whenever that happened, whether it be in a classroom or on the playground. He loved the feeling of power and control.
As Sammy walked towards his desk, his eyes flitted across the room, hoping someone else would make the first move. Most of the kids kept their eyes on their desks, refusing to make any eye contact with him. However, one boy who was sitting particularly close to him glanced up at him ever so briefly, then quickly looked down. Sammy smiled eagerly. Big mistake.
Sammy stopped at the boy's seat and, in a flash, swept his school supplies off his desk with one arm, causing them to clatter to the floor loudly. The boy flinched. Sammy grabbed the edges of the boy's desk and loomed over him. "Why did you look at me?," he asked, keeping an unnerving smile on his face. "You got a problem, pal?" The boy gulped loudly and looked around for help, but nobody else dared to make a move. "Hey, don't look at them! They can't help you!," yelled Sammy. "Look at me!" Quivering in fear, the boy slowly looked up at him with tears in his eyes. "I-I'm sorry," he stammered. "I-I-I just–" WHAM! Suddenly, the boy found himself lying on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. He felt like someone just punched him in the gut.
Sammy stood over him, grabbed the front of his shirt, and held him up. "You looked at me again! I told you not to look at me!," growled Sammy. "B-b-but you told me to–," the poor boy stuttered. "Finish that sentence and I'll punch you in the mouth," sneered Sammy.
Suddenly, the teacher walked into the room, just in time to see the commotion. He was tall, thin, had long, dirty hair, and dark bags under his eyes. He looked like a man who just didn't care about anything anymore. "Oh, great. What happened this time?," he groaned.
Even though he was caught in the act, Sammy felt no fear. He'd been in this situation many times before and knew exactly what to do. "M-Mister Smith!," he cried, quickly turning on the waterworks. "I-I was just getting to my seat, when Darren came out of n-nowhere and hurt my fist with his belly! H-he's such a meanie!" Mister Smith only rolled his eyes. "Get back to your seat, Samuel. You too, Darren. Get up and stop crying. You look pathetic like that." Unlike most teachers, Mister Smith really couldn't care less about his students. As far as he was concerned, he only came here every day to get his paycheck. He didn't care what any of his students were up to while he was absent. And unfortunately for the other kids, Sammy knew this.
Having got away scot-free once again, Sammy sat at his desk, straightened his back, and folded his hands together in front of him with a smug smile on his face. He looked like the picture of innocence, a far cry from what he was like a few moments ago. Meanwhile, Darren was on his knees, picking up his spilled school supplies while the other students looked at him with varying degrees of pity. However, none of them made any move to help him.
"Alright, before we get started, you're gonna have a new student joining you," Mister Smith droned on. The students perked up a little, since it was pretty rare for there to be any new students when it was still the middle of the year. "Anyway, I can't be bothered to introduce her to you brats, so I'll just have her come in and introduce herself. Make sure she feels welcomed, or… whatever." With his piece said, Mister Smith leaned back in his chair and started smoking a cigarette. At the same time, a little girl walked into the classroom. She had wavy, blond hair tied with pink ribbons and a snow white dress. She stood at the front of the room and smiled shyly. "H-hello, everyone," she said quietly and nervously. "My name's Isabelle. My family just moved into the neighborhood. It's very nice to meet all of you." To most people, she looked like a pretty plain and average girl. But to Sammy, "plain" and "average" did not do her justice at all. In fact, he found himself completely entranced by her appearance. Isabelle reminded him of a delicate bird, or a flower blooming in the middle of a desert. Sammy actually found himself staring at her, something that he had never done to anyone before. At that moment, he instantly knew what he had to do. He turned his head and glared at the other students, causing them to shrink back in fear. He didn't say anything, but the message was quite clear: Back off! She's mine!
Two hours passed. It was lunchtime. After forcing someone to fork off their lunch money, Sammy walked into the cafeteria with a tray of food in his hands. Those who saw him enter the room quickly went quiet, but this time, Sammy didn't care. Instead, he scanned the cafeteria, on the lookout for any sign of that blond hair and white dress. Eventually, he spotted Isabelle sitting in the corner. She was all on her own. But not for long, Sammy thought to himself.
As Sammy got closer, he suddenly stopped and narrowed his eyes in anger. A couple of boys whose names that Sammy couldn't be bothered to remember suddenly went up to Isabelle and were clearly mocking and laughing at her. One of them was even pulling at her hair, despite the girl's protests. Gritting his teeth in anger, Sammy stomped towards them, gripping his tray so hard that his knuckles turned white. Then, once he got close enough, he lifted his tray in the air and SLAMMED it onto one of the boys' heads, causing it to shatter into pieces, sending globs of food and shards of plastic flying all over the place. The boy who got hit slumped to the ground, unconscious, with a nasty welt on his head. The other boy turned around and glared, ready for a fight, but his bravado quickly evaporated when he saw Sammy standing in front of him, holding only half of a lunch tray in his hands. Even among the bullies in the school, Sammy was pretty much a legend. To them, he was more than just a fellow bully. He was a monster.
Before the boy could even think of running, Sammy tackled him to the floor and started punching him in the face over and over again, with a crazed grin on his face. That's what you get for hurting my Isabelle, punk!, he thought, unrelenting in his assault. Even with everyone else in the cafeteria screaming in fear, Sammy didn't stop. In fact, he probably wouldn't have stopped if it wasn't for a certain principal, who suddenly barged into the cafeteria.
"QUIET!," roared Principal Hopkins, causing the entire cafeteria to go silent. Even Sammy quickly stopped what he was doing and stood up, mentally cursing himself for being so careless. He knew that his trick with Mister Smith would never work on Hopkins. Hopkins was one of the few adults in the school who knew Sammy's true colors, and the only adult who had the spine to do something about it, which Sammy both hated and respected him for.
Right now, though, Sammy was definitely leaning more towards the former.
Immediately, Hopkins zeroed in on Sammy like a hawk. He walked up to him, seething with rage but still managing to keep his cool. "Samuel, do you mind explaining to me why you decided to assault your fellow students?," he asked. "They had it coming, Principal Hopkins!," Sammy retorted, pointing down at the two unconscious boys. "They were hurting Isabelle, so I put them in their place!" Hopkins' eyes slightly widened in surprise. "That's why you assaulted those two? Because they were bullying a new student?," he asked. Sammy nodded.
Though he didn't voice it, Hopkins was more than a little surprised by this turn of events. Usually, Samuel hurts the people around him for his own selfish gain, he thought. But this is the first time he's done the same thing to protect someone other than himself. There may be hope for him after all. Shaking those thoughts from his head, Hopkins returned to the matter at hand. "Samuel, you and I are going to pay yet another visit to my office. But first, I will take these boys to the school nurse. Don't go anywhere until I come back." He picked up and carried the beaten up bullies in his arms. Then, he looked down at Isabelle, who was white with fear and shaking like a leaf. "What's your name, young lady?," he asked softly. "I-I-Isabelle," she stuttered. "I am truly sorry that you had to witness that, Isabelle. Especially on your first day," said Hopkins. "I sincerely hope that the rest of your time in this school will be… far more pleasant."
Then, Hopkins turned and walked away with the boys in his arms. Finally. I thought he was never going to leave, thought Sammy. He turned to face Isabelle with a smile on his face… which quickly vanished when he saw the terrified look on Isabelle's face. He slowly reached out to comfort her, but Isabelle stepped back, flinching with terror. Without saying a single word, she turned and ran away from him, pushing through the crowd as she did so. Sammy stood there in silence, staring after her as she ran out of the cafeteria. Usually, he liked it whenever someone ran away from him in fear. But this time, he only felt like breaking down and crying.
From that moment on, Isabelle did everything she could to stay as far away from Sammy as possible. She asked to be placed in a different classroom, and her request was granted. She avoided Sammy in the halls, and whenever he tried to approach her, she would turn around and run in the opposite direction. She never talked to Sammy. She never even looked at him. And every day after school, she would run straight home, leaving Sammy in the dust.
Those few months when Isabelle was still attending the school were perhaps the most miserable months that Sammy had ever experienced. When other kids ran away from him, he felt happy. When Isabelle ran away from him, he felt heartbroken. He wanted nothing more than to apologize to her, but deep down, he knew that an apology would not mean squat after what had happened in the cafeteria. He spent all day thinking about her, and at home, he would stay up late thinking about her as well. Even his father seemed to have noticed Sammy's somber mood, which could've explained why he was dishing out less and less beatings than before. Either that, or he was simply too drunk or lazy to get up from his chair anymore.
During those months, bullying at school had gone down considerably, mostly because it was Sammy who did most of the bullying. He no longer seeked out other kids to torment. He no longer demanded them to hand over their lunch money, or swept their school supplies off their desks before punching them in the gut. After starting that scene in the cafeteria, after seeing Isabelle run away from him in terror… he seemed to have lost his taste for bullying.
Eventually, Isabelle's family had to move out again, meaning that Isabelle could no longer attend the school. Sammy didn't even know that Isabelle was about to leave until he could not find her in the halls or after school anymore. She didn't even say goodbye.
After Isabelle left, Sammy eventually went back to his old, bullying ways. But strangely enough, his heart wasn't really into it anymore. No matter how much he tried to deny it, the new girl had made an impact on him, one that would stay with him for the rest of his life.
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After finishing his story, Sammy observed his friends' reactions. "...hold on! That's it?! That's how it ends?!," cried Dipper. "That's how it ends. It wasn't exactly what you guys were expecting, was it?," asked Sammy. "No way, dude! I mean, talk about a twist!," said Soos, still reeling from the ending. "Yeesh. I thought you were kidding when you said you used to be a bully, but I guess you're just full of surprises, kid," said Stan, raising an eyebrow.
Mabel, oddly enough, seemed strangely silent up until now. "So Isabelle just… avoided you from that point on?," she asked morosely. "You two never got together and made up?" "No, unfortunately not," sighed Sammy, shaking his head. "To be honest, I'm surprised that she didn't immediately transfer to another school. I mean, think about it. It's your first day of school, you're eating lunch on your own, you get picked on by some bullies, and all of a sudden, some maniac comes out of nowhere and smashes his tray on one of their heads before beating the other one into a pulp right in front of you! Ugh, it actually sounds insane just talking about it…"
"So… that's it, then? You never saw Isabelle again?," asked Dipper. "Well…," Sammy said with an uncertain tone in his voice, which the others picked up on. "Dude, you actually met her again?," Soos gasped. "But I thought her family moved away! Did they come back?," Mabel asked eagerly. "No, they didn't," said Sammy. "Actually, I wouldn't see her again in… well, years. But yes, we do end up meeting each other again. I'll tell you all about that another time." He was immediately bombarded with groans and complaints from the others. "But Sammy, you can't just end it here!," groaned Dipper. "Yeah! We need to know if you and Isabelle are ever going to end up together!," cried Mabel. "I'm actually with them on this one," Stan agreed. "Unlike them, your story's the only one I'm actually invested in!" "Yeah… hey!," said Dipper, scowling.
Sammy couldn't help but chuckle. "Sorry, but again, another time," he said. Suddenly, the darkness around them was slowly being replaced with something that they hadn't seen in a white: light. "Guys, do you see that?," Dipper asked nervously, pointing down. The others looked down and saw a circle of white light quickly approaching them. "What is that?," asked Soos. "Oh no!," cried Dipper. "Where are we going?," Mabel asked frantically. "Not good!," said Stan. They all screamed in terror as the white light quickly engulfed them… and then, before they knew it, they were spat out from the hole that they fell into, landing on the soft grass outside.
"Where… where are we?," asked Stan, blinking in the sunlight. Mabel gasped. "Look! The Shack!," she cried, pointing at the Mystery Shack. "Which means… we came right back out the top." "And I don't think any time has passed," Dipper noted. "B… but how?," asked Sammy, looking around in bewilderment. "How did we fall into a hole only to come back out? It doesn't make any sense!" "Maybe it's… some kind of wormhole?," Dipper theorized. "Yeah, dude. That sounds science-y enough to be true," said Soos. "But that's impossible. No one will believe us," said Stan. "Maybe this is one story we should keep to ourselves," Mabel suggested.
"Agreed," everyone said in unison, just relieved that they were no longer falling into that bottomless pit. However, Stan was leaning on the sign in front of the pit, which wasn't as sturdy as he thought it was. The sign snapped in half under Stan's weight, causing the conman to fall back into the hole, screaming in terror. Everyone else stared down the pit in shock.
"...well, at least we know he'll come back up soon," Sammy said optimistically. "Yeah," said Mabel, slowly nodding her head with a smile. "Yeah. He'll be fine. Probably…"