Helluva Impact: Thus the IMPs landed in Teyvat


In a magical, magical place in…. hell….so not so magical after all…but then again does something have to be pretty to be magical? Ever heard of the dark arts? They aren't that fucking pretty, you know?

Anyway, as I was saying before distracted by the philosophical meaning of magical place, not that anyone fucking cares, there was a building. Not a comfortable, well structure building, filled with the commodity needed to be pleasant alongside a decent smell, nor yet a place where some homeless loser wasted his life in: it was the IMP building, and that means that Satan only knows how the damn thing didn't collapse yet.

And inside, since we're in hell, it's obvious that there are demons, and there are indeed in this peculiar building we seem so interested in. Holding an important meeting, one of them, probably the leader, walked back and forth in front of a board that showed that…whatever business this peculiar place held wasn't going well.

He was a very lanky jester-like imp with a pointed tail who conversely had wide-proportioned hands, pointed feet with a boot-like heel, and a narrow head with curved horns. His eyes had black lines running down the eyelids and his sclera was yellow with a red iris.

He had crimson skin with trace white blotches that covered his right eye and the tip of his tail, black-and-white striped horns with black spines between them running to his tail, and black stripes around his tail. A heart-shaped skull symbol rested on his forehead. He wore a torn black collared coat with red buttons, black boots (incidentally sharing the same shape as his feet), and large black gloves with yellow eyes on them. He also had a red skull charm around his neck.

« Alright, now, » he begun serious, «I know business has been... a bit slow lately, yes. It's no one's fault, okay? I'm not naming any names here... » he continued, before pointing his glaze at another demon, before saying «Moxxie. », probably referring to that demon's name.

He was an Imp Demon with red skin and white freckles on his cheeks. His white pointy hair leaded up to his curvy black and white striped horns. He also had yellow sclera with black slit pupils. He had a long red thin tail with a quadrilateral barb at the end, as well as lanky digitigrade legs ending in what appeared to be cloven red hooves, reminiscent of artiodactyls.

His outfit consisted of a navy-black coat with red buttons and white cuffs, black pants a white shirt that had a black turtleneck, a large red bow-tie, and fingerless gloves.

He looked at his boss with confusion and annoyance at the blatant accusation.

«Now, does anyone have... any bright ideas on how we can get business drummin' up again? » the demon boss continued, asking his crew. «What about a car wash? » a daemonette asked, her eyes glimmering.

She was a short Imp with a long demonic tail and white markings. She had red skin, eyes with yellow scleras and black pupils, and long black eyelashes that extended beyond the sides of her hair.

She had two black horns with three thin white stripes and greyish-black hair worn in a messy bob style and bangs that covered half of her right horn. She had a beauty mark on her left cheek and a gap between her front teeth.

Her attire consisted of black lipstick, a simple black choker, a cold-shoulder black crop top with gold buttons where the strapped at the top meet the torso piece, torn black pants, fingerless black gloves, and black footwear that did not cover her hoof-like toes.

She also had a black tattoo in the shape of a heart on her left shoulder, and two white splotches on the insides and outsides of each of her elbows.

«This is Hell, Millie. No one cares about cars being clean here, okay? » her boss responded irritated. After a few seconds of thought, the daemon eyes glimmered as well as he came up with an idea. «Ooh, what about a billboard? » he asked enthusiast.

«We can't afford a billboard, sir. » Moxxie responded with an annoyed tone. «Helpful, Moxxie. Really glad you're in the room right now. » his boss responded irritated, before pushing him away.

«Have you guys forgotten what service we provide? » he then asked slightly angry, before turning up a TV in the room. In there, we could see our group of demons killing people mercilessly, probably for hire as their "profession" implies.

«Ahh, those were the good times. » the demon boss commented nostalgic as he ate some pock corn. «I don't need any reminding, sir, considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week. One that you then additionally paid to have run for a full three hours on a channel nobody watches. » Moxxie commented irritated.

«Uh, hey, excuse me. What's "obnoxious" about a super-fun jingle, all right? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement's spittin' bullshit! » the boss responded clearly offended. «People love musicals, sir. » Millie added.

«Exactly, Millie! And we're basically doin' a musical. Are you gonna crush my musical theatre dreams like my dad did? » the demon boss asked with a fake offended and heartbroken tone. « Sir-» Moxxie tried to say something, before being interrupted by his boss.

«'Cause right now, all I see is just my dad's asshole talking to me! Crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside. » the boss continued, faking some sobbing to seem sad. « Are you tryin' to crush his dreams, Moxxie? » Millie teased the demon.

«I-what? » he asked a bit shocked. « I thought I knew you. » Millie said as she playfully stuck her tongue out, with Moxxie rolling his eyes back affectionally. «I can't believe you, Moxxie, » the boss added, before pulling out a plaque which showed a picture of Moxxie, «after I made you employee of the month! ».

«Okay, sir! I'm sorry, a commercial jingle is not comparable to musical theatre. Nobody actually likes the jingles! » Moxxie responded exasperated. «I liked it. » Millie then said. «Do not—Do not agree with him in front of me. » Moxxie responded far calmer this time.

At the same time, the advertising continued. «Hi there, I'm Blitzo (the "o" is silent), and I'm the founder of I.M.P! Are you a piece of shit who got yourself sent to Hell? Or are you an innocent soul who got FUCKED over by someone else?! »

After that, the ad changed view to an Ohio demon. « After lovingly killing my wife for FUCKING A DELIVERYMAN, you can imagine my surprise when I wound up here, after the state of Ohio killed me! I really wish I could STICK IT to that YAPPY JOGGER who saw me hiding the body! »

On the next scene, Moxxie and Millie were drawing a Satanic circle, while their boss, Blitzo, continued the advertising. «Well, luckily for you, thanks to our company's special access to the living world, we can help you take care of your unfinished business by taking out anyone who screwed you over when you were alive! »

The ad then showed Blitzo, Moxxie and Millie killing several people who wronged their clients when they were alive, while a Jingle played which went like this:

When you want somebody gone

And you don't want to wait too long

Call the Immediate Murder Professionals

Hand grenade or cyanide

We'll make it look like suicide

The Immediate Murder Professionals

We do our job so well

Because we come straight up from hell

We'll kill your husband or your wife

We'll even let you keep the knife

We're the Immediaaaaate... Murderrrrrr... Profession—

All went well and good, until they were in a celestial realm. Two anime twins were in the scene. Both siblings had blond hair, though the male was of a brighter shade. They had slim body builds, golden-yellow eyes, and fair skin. They adorned a contrasting colour palette—the male's color scheme was mainly black, golden and white, while the female was white and blue. The two were not identical and differ in their natural features.

The male wore a dark brown breastplate vest baring his midriff along with a white scarf and a two-tailed cape with golden embroidery and decals. He wore a golden pauldron on his left shoulder and a tasseled earring in his left ear. He wore dark brown pants, brown gloves and black boots. His hair was medium cut with choppy bangs and a long, braided ponytail, tied with a tasseled band.

The female wore a sleeveless white dress with a scarf and two tail capes. She also wore bracers and gloves that covered only her thumb, with white stockings and boots. Her hair was cut into a bob with bangs, with, straight, shoulder-length twin tails, and was decorated with flowers and white-blue feathers.

Moxxie was about to take a shot at the duo, before a blonde, beautiful lady appeared in front of the two. Before she could utter a word, Moxxie shot her right in he head, causing her to fall from the sky and the twins being genuinely confused of the scene, while Moxxie was mortified, Blitzo was shocked and Millie surprised.

The add finished with the Jingle ending with « Gods die for freeeeeee! »


Meanwhile, back in the room.

« I'd like to go on record and say that incident was Loona's fault. Dispatch is supposed to give us the right info on the target. It's very simple. » Moxxie tried to justify himself for the mistake he made.

«Oh, sit on a dick, Moxxie. » Loona responded without a care, watching her phone. She was a wolf-like Hellhound. She had a dog-like muzzle with sharp and pointy teeth and a dark grey nose, red sclera with white irises, white fur with grey patches on her shoulders, a big bushy tail and voluminous grey hair swept to the side to reveal her ear. She was far taller than her co-workers.

Her outfit featured a black choker that had white spikes. Her grey crop top had strings shaped like a star to resemble an inverted pentagram to hold it up. She wore fingerless gloves and shorts with a crescent moon on the right side. She also wore black toeless stockings and is barefoot, due to her digitigrade stance. She had a piercing on her right eyebrow and two piercings in her left ear - in addition, her right ear was torn.

«YOU sit! Sit on... a... and the... d- DO YOUR JOB! » Moxxie responded angrily, trying to find a nice comeback. «Hey, now, we don't blame our screwups on Loona, okay?! » Blitzo responded angrily, before hugging and snuggling Loona, who clearly did not like the engage. «She didn't do anything wrooooong~ »

« With the exception of everything she did to get you fools in your impeding doom. » a feminine voice came from the door. « Glad that someone finally agrees with me. » Moxxie murmured annoyed. However, he suddenly widened his eyes in shock alongside Millie. Then followed Blitzo, and finally Loona. Because they knew to who the voice belonged too.

As they all turned, they saw a clearly pissed off lady, the same woman that Moxxie had accidentally shot, with a maddened look on her face. « Well, shit. » Blitzo realized how screwed they were. « You have a lot of courage to challenge the Sustainer of Heavenly Principles. » the woman said solemn.

« Oh, god, IT WAS ONE TIME! And it's not like you have any major repercussions from Moxxie fuck up, right!? » Blitzo responded exasperated. «But you should be honoured. You had the strength to stop me from ending humankind arrogance. » the woman praised the four.

« Well, guess what! Give me a couple of Martini's, and I'll have the strength to knock you out on 90% of the sex positions of the Kamasutra with a goose! » Blitzo challenged her. «Should we REALLY antagonize her, sir? » Moxxie asked doubtful.

« Well you know these world ending golden anime Karen goddesses. Once they are dead focused on something hell could turn into a polar bear jacuzzi and they would still go for their objective. So if that's the case, » Blitzo responded, before pulling out a gun, «we might as well have the fight of our life, fuckers! » he smirked cockily, ready for battle.


Five fucking nanoseconds later, not in hell but in another world

« And then that fucking whore put us in some sort of cubic dimension, stranded us in this sort of Anime world, we've been stuck here for six fucking months, all while Moxxie whined about "getting supplies" and "find civilization". » Blitzo explained, the last parts being in a baby voice to mock Moxxie, while explaining everything to some flying child, looking at the group in pure confusion.

She had a small body, giving her the look of a fairy. She had thick white hair cropped just above her shoulders, dark purple eyes, and fair skin.

She wore a long-sleeved white jumper and a night-blue cape flecked with stars, and white stockings with white boots. Rose-gold embroidery and shapes were attached to her jumper, boots, and sleeves.

Her accessories were a dark purple hairpin, almost black, and a rose-gold crown that levitated above her head as though it was a halo.

« Oh, for fuck sake, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!? » Loona exclaimed clearly pissed. « Oh come on, we could have won that fight if Moxxie wasn't suck a wuss! » Blitzo responded. « Hey! » Moxxie shot back.

« That's not the problem! Somehow! » Loona responded angrily. « Loona, please, be calm sweetie. We'll get you a new phone, I promise! » Blitzo tried to calm her down. « I don't give a damn about the phone! It's the fact that you're making me agree with Moxxie! Of fucking course we need supplies and to find civilization! » Loona exclaimed.

« That unless you're willing to eat…horses, boss. » Moxxie mocked Blitzo, who turned at him with a glazing glare. « You hurt a single little pony, and I'll make you deepthroat a cactus. » Blitzo threatened the Imp.

« All right everybody, I know this is a problematic situation… » Millie tried to reassure the group. « That would be the understatement of the fucking century, old lady. » Loona shot back.

« But hey! It's not so bad! » Millie kept a positive attitude. « I mean, you do have a point. We even have emergency food here with us! » Blitzo agreed, turning to the fairy. « Ok, first of all, Paimon is not emergency food! » the little fairy, Paimon, responded angrily.

« Really? 'Cause I don't see a fucking name tag saying otherwise, you Tinkerbelle reject. » Blitzo mocked her. « Second of all…your story is making Paimon confused! But since you save Paimon from drowning- » Paimon begun, before Moxxie interrupted her by saying «You do realize the only reason we saved you is because we thought of turning you in Anime kebab, right? »

« Well none the less, Paimon shall be your guide! » the little girl exclaimed. « You don't…. have to, you know? » Millie said. « Actually, please for the love of Satan, just DON'T. » Loona said annoyed.

« Have no fear, my fluffy new friend! Paimon will help you return home in a fluff! Even though your home is in…hell…Paimon doesn't know if that's a good thing. » Paimon admitted. « Well, yeah, hell is filthy, everybody tries to stab you 24/7, there's a purge every year killing half of the population almost as it was some sort of Marvel movie but R rated…that thirsty rich owl that has screw me in the ass so many god damn times, and I mean literally... »Blitzo responded, before Paimon looked at him confused.

« Didn't you say you were a male, Blitzo? » Paimon asked innocently. « Ever heard of bisexual relations? » Blitzo responded casually. « Oh please. This is anime. No one is homosexual or a lesbian in this world except in the fandom. » Loona responded, before casually kicking a water slime to the stratosphere.

« Oh yeah, I totally forgot how wacky those Asiatic animations where, with all those inbred bastards. But none the less, Hell is our home! » Blitzo exclaimed as the group climbed a cliff. « So any actual plans to go home so far? » Moxxie asked.

« We could try and go to the Statue of the Seven! » Paimon proposed. « The fuck are the Seven? » Blitzo bluntly asked. «The Seven gods that preside over the seven nations of Teyvan, of course! » Paimon responded.

« Great. 'Cause one fucking god wasn't enough to spread his AIDS in the fucking universe! We needed seven of the fuckers to jack off while some poor bastards have to do everything while they still live with their fucking mother! » Blitzo complained.

« I dunno! Maybe these folks aren't so bad! » Moxxie commented. «Moxxie, from the moment someone with the power of God appears, all they know is how to be a fucking jerk who pretends to have his dick sucked once a fucking week. » Blitzo responded.

« So like you and Stolas, huh? » Loona teased the demon. « Et tu, Loona? » Blitzo asked heartbroken, tears in his eyes. « What? You, like, asked for that one. » Loona responded. « Oh, wow! » Paimon said, having ignored the conversation to look at the scenery.

A small valley opened up, and in the distance, a city could be seen. « Oh thank fucking Christ, there's a city over there. » Moxxie sighed hard, glad that they finally found civilization. « Uh…Paimon was actually looking at the Statue of the Seven. » the little fairy commented.

« They are scattered across the land to grant protection by the Gods. This state venerates the god of the Winds. » Paimon exclaimed. « So what? His worshippers pray to him in farts or some shit? » Blitzo asked. « Very mature, sir. » Moxxie sighed hard.

« No seriously, I wanna know how they fucking pray! Do you thing I would go that low for a joke? » Blitzo responded irritated. « You've gone far lower than that, sir. » Moxxie shot back. « Well, Paimon thinks that Anemo might help you go back to hell. » Paimon said.

« I know you mean well to us degenerates, but god that came out so wrong. » Blitzo commented. « Wherever the gods actually answer you is a different story. You never know unless you try. » Paimon continued.

« Yeah especially considering we don't have any LSD with us so we can't have any vague hallucinations of infant sacrifices or two headed blue birds. » Blitzo commented as they reached the statue.

« Ok…now what? » Moxxie asked. « Now you place your hand on that golden plaque. » Paimon explained. « Well let's get this over with. » Blitzo casually said. « Hey fart god! Get our ass back to hell or I'll have Loona shit all over your church or whatever! » Blitzo exclaimed angrily. « Hey! Keep me out of your…well…. shit! » Loona shot back angrily.

After a while, the golden plaque glew light blue, alongside the statue. And from it an orb came out, that was absorbed by Blitzo, who stood there confused. « Ok emergency food the fuck just happened. » Blitzo asked slightly concerned.

« You must have felt the elements of the world! Seems all you had to do was to touch the statue and you got the power of Anemo! » Paimon explained. « Ok, so that's a thing folks can do here. Guess gods around here aren't as much as pricks as our god. » Blitzo commented.

« As much as they might want it, people in this world can hold to that power as easily as you it seems. Maybe the gods believe you're some sort of angelic being… » Paimon theorized, before the whole of IMP wheezed with the voice of the "look at this dude" video.

« Good one, emergency food! Good fucking one! I needed that after all the shit we went through in the last six months! » Blitzo recovered from the laughter. « Listen, anime fairy. I'm a god damn Imp demon! I've killed, burned, kidnapped, raped most of my life and not necessarily in that order! There's no way your gods think I'm the coming of Christ! » Blitzo continued.

« Well it could also be that you're not from this world! » Paimon said slightly offended. « Anyway, if we keep heading west, we can get to Mondstadt, the city of Freedom. » she then explained. « Oh! Does that mean we can stab a guy and not have to worry about the consequences and hide the body? » Millie asked excited.

« Not…. really…. » Paimon responded. « Well in that case it's the city of "very strict rules that calls itself the city of freedom to keep the local population from taking a sledgehammer and bring anarchy to the whole centre". » Loona then commented.

«Oh! Like the Democratic Republic of Korea which doesn't have anything democratic! » Blitzo laughed. « AAAAnyway, Mondstadt is the city of the winds, because they worship the god of Anemo. So now that you have the power of Anemo, you can ask around if they know a way to go back to hell. » Paimon continued.

« Nope. Still doesn't sound right. » Blitzo commented before blasting a lava slime with his gun. However, before the group could move on, two more slimes appeared, which grabbed Blitzo's tail.

« HEY! YOU SHITSTAINS! THE TAIL IS OFF LIMITS! » he shouted, before he moved his hand forward, energy forming out of it until he released it, fending the slimes flying. « Uh…what just happened? » Blitzo asked confused.

« That was the power of Anemo you just unleashed! » Paimon explained. « So the power of Anewhatever is using Anime style attacks. » Blitzo said. « I…guess… » Paimon responded. « Well Christ on a stick I guess your gods are fine after all. Now I can start my very own anime harem with the exception of my family members and unlike those losers I'm not going to be some dense idiot who serves as a punching bag! I am the one who fists! And in both ways! » Blitzo exclaimed.

After that affirmation, Millie and Moxxie hid Paimon for…. safety. But as they resumed their trave, something massive flew above them. It had an enormous build and was so far one of the largest beings the Imp group had met. Its entire body was coloured in a shade of blue, with its main body being a lighter Azure blue, while its talons and horns coloured in more of a darker midnight blue. It also emitted light from different areas of its body, notably its eyes that seemed to have a blue flame effect, and the scales on its wings that emitted an aqua glow. It possessed a total of 6 large wings on its body (3 on each side) allows it to fly. Behind those wings was its massive tail, that resembled bird-like feathering. It possesses 2 horns on its head that resembled that of a goat, with a blue gradient that gradually faded to black. Its front beak was incredibly sharp and possessed very sharp teeth, albeit a low amount. There were 4 sets of nails on each of the 4 talons, being very long and sharp with a gradient. It also possessed 2 purple sharp spikes on his back.

« Wow! What was that!? » Paimon exclaimed shocked. « What was-YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE OUR GUIDE! THE FUCK I KNOW WHAT THAT THING WAS! » Blitzo shouted. « Quite boss! » Moxxie urged Blitzo.

« Or else what? I'm not going to say quite with a fucking dragon in the sky! I want answers! » Blitzo shot back, before the group was surrounded by several bipedal beings resembling masked goblins.

« You just had to shout, didn't you sir? » Moxxie asked annoyed. « Oh shut up before I peg you with an actual man sized penis. » Blitzo shot back. In quick succession, Blitzo slammed a mallet on the skull of one of the creatures, killing it instantly, Moxxie shot another one in the head with a shotgun, Millie decapitated another with a harpoon, laughing at the act, while Loona ripped the throat of another one with her jaws.

« Well that was easy. And looks like we got some fucking loot as well! » Blitzo commented, as he walked towards a chest. Inside there was some meat. « Huh. Nice. So we stop for a minute for a barbeque like last time we went to visit Mollie's parents? » Blitzo proposed.

« Urgh, fine. I was fucking starving anyway. » Loona responded. « As long as we can avoid food poisoning. » Moxxie commented.


After finishing their meal (and after destroying another masked goblin camp because Blitzo claimed it was "fun as shit"), the group marched onward in the forest, before they noticed the dragon from before, in front of someone.

The person was a young boy with fair skin and a slim build. His eyes were aqua green which also resembled the sky and the grass. He had dark blue hair that bordered on black, with short twin braids that faded into aqua at the tips.

He wore a frilly white top with a corset-like leather midsection, along with teal shorts with gold embroidery, a matching teal cape held together by a deep blue and gold bow. He also wore white stockings with three gold diamond shapes along each leg and a beret-like hat with a Cecilia.

He held his hands forward almost as to reassure the giant dragon. «…Don't be afraid. » he said to the beast. « So how long until that Skyrim reject eats his ass? » Blitzo casually asked. «…It's all right now, I'm back. » the boy continued, obvious to the gang casually eating popcorn, waiting for him to become a dragon's meal.

But after a while, Blitzo suddenly glowed for a second, causing the dragon to chance its gaze and roar at their direction, before attempting to attack the young man, who dodged easily. « Who's there!? » the boy asked.

« Holy shit that thing is a dude!? » Blitzo exclaimed surprised, before the boy glowed and disappeared. After that, the dragon simply took off. « That was close! Paimon almost got blown away! » Paimon exclaimed.

« What a terrible loss that would have been. » Loona commented sarcastically, before shaking her off her tail. « I mean duh! Who was going to be our emergency food? Moxxie? You eat that shit; I don't want a tapeworm in my fucking stomach! » Blitzo responded.

« HEY! » both Paimon and Moxxie responded in union. « Still, never though I'd see a dude talking to a dragon. » Blitzo commented. « Anyway, found this weird red crystal, looks pretty, I'm keeping it because fuck you. » Loona then said as she grabbed a crystal.

« Why does this feel like some sort of plot convenience? » Moxxie asked. « Paimon has never seen a rock like that, but Paimon thinks it's dangerous. Best putting it away for now. » Paimon commented.

« Unless we have to pay our next rent when we come back home. » Millie commented. « Hey you! Stop right there! » a voice came from the forest. It was a young girl, with long, dark brown hair, gold eyes, and fair skin. She wore a jumper-like outfit composed of dark brown leather shorts, a red hoodie-like top, red stockings, and white thigh-high boots embellished with gold linings and symbols.

Her accessories included a leather belt with two small bags, gloves, a small belt on her right thigh, and gold-framed goggles. Her most distinguishing feature was a headband with a large red bow that rested on her head, resembling the shape of bunny ears.

She jumped from the forest, landing on her feet in front of the group. « May the Anemo god protect you, strangers. » she said with a formal tone. She then placed a fist on her chest. « I am Amber, Outrider of the Knights of Favonius. » she then continued, introducing herself.

The whole group looked at her confused. « The fuck is Favonius? » Blitzo said genuinely confused. « Perhaps I'll explain later. As for now, what is your purpose here in Mondstadt? » Amber asked serious.

« Oh, great, the fucking border patrol is already here. Well, I'm Blitzo, the O is silent, and the band of misfits behind me, alongside my precious and adorable daughter Loona, are Moxxie, the Imp with the little penis, Mollie, his wife, and Paimon, our emergency food! » Blitzo introduced the group.

« Does mocking my male attributes make you feel better about your sad, single life? » Moxxie asked annoyed. « It does, actually. » Blitzo responded. « So, you're a traveling band, right? » Amber asked.

« Unfortunately… » Moxxie and Loona said in union. « Well, look, there's been a large dragon sighed around Mondstadt recently. » Amber explained. « Yeah we actually saw the little shit talking with an even smaller shit near the woods. We WERE about to enjoy seeing that fucking idiot being eaten by a dragon, but your fucking god was being a jerk and made me glow so the spectacle couldn't happen. » Blitzo explained.

« Well, that's…. peculiar…. » Amber commented. « You mean fucking weird. » Loona added. « Anyway, it's not far from here, I'll escort you there. » Amber then said. « Oh? But why are you out here? » Paimon asked.

« I've been assigned a task. But not to worry, I can keep all of you safe and do such task. » Amber responded. « So what are you doing here? » Blitzo asked.

«Well, the Hilichurls have camped too close to the city, so I have to take them out. » Amber explained. At the worlds "take them out", Blitzo eyes glimmered, and like in old cartoon fashion, a lightbulb lighted up in his head.

« So you need to take out some fuckers, huh? » Blitzo said as he got very close to Amber. « I….uh….yeah- » she begun to speak, before being interrupted. « Well have no fear! Because here at IMP corporation, for us it's all about murder that we shall explain with a jingle- » Blitzo begun, but before he could begin singing, Moxxie pushed him aside.

« What my boss is trying to say, is that we- » Moxxie begun to explain, before being interrupted by Blitzo saying «In exchange of monetary compensation. » while still on the ground, « Well, yes. In exchange of that, we'll consider aiding you into bringing these Chili-Churros- »

«Hilichurls. » Amber corrected him.

« Hilichurls into the process of die. » Moxxie continued. « So you're mercenaries, right? » Amber asked. « Nope! IMP! Immediate Murder Professionals! » Blitzo explained. « Doesn't sound that legal. » Amber commented.

« See, here's how legality works from where we're from. We're from hell, no one gives a shit about the laws, you can complain all you want, tweet some shit on Tweeter, no one will give a shit, it's paradise when you look it a certain way, and now let's kill some fuckers for profit! » Blitzo exclaimed, before Amber sighed.

« Well that's explains a lot. » Amber sighed. If only she knew how fucked the world would be with these folks around.

If only ANYONE knew!


Form the creators of Professor Layton Hit the Road and a Brits, a Yankee, a French and a Hun in Gallia, may I present you: Helluva Impact: Thus the IMPs landed in Teyvat

An epic adventure of….everything exploding!

So be sure to check our updates every ice age!

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Please review so I can learn your opinion. I'm willing to accept suggestions, so stay tuned. Also remember to like and follow. I would also appreciate if you also supported my other Fanfictions!

See you on the next chapter!