I fully blame how good the SpongeBob SquarePants Musical is for this story. I never thought I'd ever even have the idea to write for SpongeBob, yet here we are. The first three seasons are factored in, but anything past that isn't considered as canon for this story. Instead of the movie that ended the first three seasons, the musical happened instead. Please enjoy this story and let me know what you think of this serious take on such a goofy character.
The blare of the foghorn alarm burst through SpongeBob's pleasant dream and startled him into reality. He popped to his feet as he hit the off button, silencing the overwhelmingly loud noise. But the alarm had done its job, and SpongeBob was awake for the day. With great energy, he bounded into the bathroom and began to list his tasks for his morning routine as he picked up his toothbrush.
"Brush teeth. Check!" He jumped in the shower and turned on the water. "Freshen up. Check!" He contracted his body and pushed the excess fluid out of himself then headed for the bedroom and pulled on his underwear. "Underwear. Check!" Then he pulled on his starched outfit, already carefully situated so that all he had to do was step in. "And outfit. Check! Breakfast time!"
He hurried downstairs to make breakfast for himself and his snail, Gary. He noticed the cupboards were pretty empty of everything besides snail food. He knew he'd have to go to the store in the next day or two, but perhaps he could eat at Patrick's tonight. Or maybe Sandy's. Besides, he didn't need a big breakfast because he'd get to eat a couple Krabby Patties for lunch, which was one of the best parts of his day. Surely he could survive another few days. Then his paycheck would come in and he'd get some good food. Maybe he'd spend just a bit more and treat himself.
"Here you go, Gary!" SpongeBob exclaimed, setting down the bowl of food.
Gary slithered up and began to munch on the food. SpongeBob carefully poured a serving of Kelp Flakes into his bowl then folded up the bag to keep them fresh. He didn't have any milk, so he munched through the cereal as it was, which was a delicious texture against his teeth. That made him laugh and crunch loudly on the flakes, and he thoroughly enjoyed himself.
After breakfast was done, he washed his bowl and spoon then set them in the cabinet. Just then, he saw Squidward come out of his house. That meant it was time to go to work! SpongeBob ran over to snag his hat from the hat rack and pinned his name tag on his shirt. Then he burst out of the door and ran over.
"Good morning, Squidward!" he shouted, bouncing around his octopus neighbor.
"Is it?" Squidward asked dryly. "Seems to me it's set to be another boring day."
"Nah!" SpongeBob laughed. "Today could be the Best Day Ever!"
Squidward huffed and crossed his arms. "You say that every day."
"And you say that every day!" SpongeBob pointed out. "But that still doesn't mean it won't be. There are so many good possibilities for every new day!"
Squidward turned to frown at the yellow sponge. "There are just as many ways for today to be a bad day."
SpongeBob laughed, his warbling voice obnoxiously loud. "Nope! There is only one way that today couldn't be the Best Day Ever! And that will never happen!"
Squidward rolled his eyes. "I can't imagine what that is. You called the volcanic destruction of Bikini Bottom itself a good day. Even before we knew we'd live."
SpongeBob shrugged and skipped in a circle around Squidward, but he didn't jump in with what the condition would be. Instead, he peered down at the name tag that now bore the title he'd desired for so long. He, SpongeBob SquarePants, was a manager! He enjoyed being a manager, being called Mr. SquarePants by customers, and he was so friendly and warm that he easily won over angry customers with a bright smile. It helped that most of the customers were regulars who knew him and loved him. They didn't scare him. It was the out-of-towners that scared him. But so far things had been fine.
"Could you stop? You're making me dizzy!" Squidward complained.
SpongeBob stopped circling him and walked beside him, but his arms continued to move in little circles. "Sorry, Squidward. I'm just so happy! The restaurant is all fixed and today we'll have our full reopening! It's an important day! I have a lot of Krabby Patties to make!"
"Then save your energy for that. We're going to work late tonight. We're open an hour later. Mr. Krabs insists on making up for some of the missing cash flow."
SpongeBob grunted. He didn't care much for money, even though he knew it was necessary. Mr. Krabs had so much more money than him, but he didn't care. His thoughts circled to his upcoming bills, then he shrugged it off. He'd worry about it later. The Krusty Krab restaurant came into view, and SpongeBob let out a gleeful laugh.
"It looks so good!"
Squidward stared at the lobster trap that served as the restaurant. "Looks just as drab as ever."
"No! The flags are so clean and bright! The posters in the windows look like dimples! And the windows are so clean!"
SpongeBob was vibrating with pleasure, and he let out a cheer and ran over to pull open the door. He ran into the middle of the restaurant and breathed in the clean smell. It would soon be replaced with the equally delightful smell of grease and cleaner, and SpongeBob laughed heartily as he stuck his arms out and spun around in the middle of the floor. Mr. Krabs came out and grinned at him.
"What's all this about, me boy?"
"It's all fixed! Everything's so fresh and pretty!"
Squidward walked in while SpongeBob was saying that, and he rolled his eyes again. "Mmhm. Looks like a grease trap to me."
"Watch it, Mr. Squidward," Mr. Krabs said sharply. "This restaurant is me pride and joy. I don't like you talking about me beautiful, bountiful money-maker like that."
Squidward grunted as he clocked in and began to arrange the front of house. SpongeBob ran over to the punch-in machine and relished the crunch of the card paper as it neatly punched the time into his time card. He giggled and bounced into the kitchen. Cracking his knuckles, he grabbed the knife and began to prepare ingredients, humming to himself. He was so very glad to have a job at the best restaurant in the whole ocean, and he was proud to be the manager of such a fine establishment.
As the first customers trickled in, SpongeBob heated up the grill and went out to see them. They were all regulars who greeted him with smiles and hugs, and after some brief conversations, Squidward called for him.
"SpongeBob, orders are in."
"Coming!" SpongeBob called. "If you'll excuse me, good patrons, duty calls!"
As the customers gave a good-natured laugh, he turned and ran to the kitchen, bursting through the door and grabbing his trusty spatula. He tugged the order slip down and peered at it then clipped it back up and threw a patty on the grill. As the orders came in, he put out trays of hot food, his focus complete as he churned out order after order.
When there was a lull in orders, he hurried out to set the front in order. He scanned around to see what needed done then turned to Squidward.
"Could you mop the restrooms? I'll refill the cutlery and salt and ketchup."
Squidward grunted and headed for the mop and bucket. SpongeBob quickly and efficiently restocked everything then went to take two orders while Squidward was cleaning up. Then he made the orders and delivered them. By that time, Squidward was done with mopping and headed back to the counter.
After the initial lunch rush, SpongeBob was prepping more ingredients when another order came in for table three. SpongeBob made the Krabby Patty and kelp fries and arranged them on a tray then bumped the door open to take it to the table. Two steps out of the kitchen and his eyes landed on the table. He promptly froze and went very still, his eyes as big as saucers. Sitting at the table was a group of well-dressed sponges, and with them was a thin red sponge. Everything around SpongeBob fell away, and he heard laughter echoing in his head.
The tray in his hands slipped through his fingers and crashed to the floor. Squidward turned along with everybody else to look at the noise. SpongeBob stood completely still, his glassy eyes staring at table three, where the thin red sponge who had just ordered sat. The sponge turned to see what had caused the noise, and his eyes lit up.
"Well, SpongeBob SquarePants! Small world, isn't it?"
The red sponge stood up and hurried over to embrace the yellow sponge. Squidward was about to roll his eyes when he noticed SpongeBob did not hug the red sponge back. In fact, he stiffened and stepped back quickly, almost flinching. When the red sponge pulled back, SpongeBob blinked slowly and said nothing.
"SpongeBob? It's me. It's Wily. From Squaretown? Don't you remember me?"
Not a word passed SpongeBob's lips, but after several long seconds, he nodded. Wily grinned.
"I was starting to worry that you didn't know me."
SpongeBob continued to stand and stare blankly at Wily. Squidward frowned and came out from behind the counter.
"SpongeBob! You need to clean up this mess."
SpongeBob turned to look at Squidward, blinking at him. "Mess?"
"Yeah. You dropped his food. There's ketchup everywhere!"
"He wanted extra ketchup with regular mayonnaise and light mustard," SpongeBob said vaguely.
Squidward pressed his lips together and squinted at SpongeBob. "SpongeBob?"
"Extra crispy kelp fries with no vinegar."
"Um, yes?"
SpongeBob went quiet again and looked back at Wily. "What are you doing here?"
"Well, I saw in the papers that you saved Bikini Bottom from that volcano! I had no idea you lived here! It's been years, and you've never been back. Your mom and dad don't really talk about you much. I have business here in Bikini Bottom, and I'm going to be staying for a while. I'm glad to have a friend here!"
"Friend…" SpongeBob murmured, his brows coming together.
Squidward was puzzled by SpongeBob's reaction. More specifically, the lack of a reaction. Normally he was super excited to see friends, and if Wily was a friend that he hadn't seen in years, shouldn't he be bouncing off the walls? But SpongeBob continued to stare at the red sponge with big, blank eyes.
"I'll clean this up then," Squidward said. "You go make him another one."
SpongeBob turned to look at him. "Extra ketchup, regular mayonnaise, light mustard. Extra crispy kelp fries with no vinegar."
"Yep. Now go and make it."
SpongeBob turned and walked into the kitchen without another word. Wily watched him go with a thoughtful expression on his face. Squidward knelt down and gathered the food into the tray then went to empty it and grab the mop. Wily stood there and watched him.
"Can I help you?" Squidward asked sourly.
"Just thinking. It's been years since I've seen him."
"Your point?" Squidward asked, mopping up the condiments.
"This is going to be an interesting stay," Wily said, a smile on his thin lips.
Squidward snorted. "If you say so. Sounds exhausting."
Wily nodded and went to sit back down. When he got back to the counter, SpongeBob silently set the new order in the window. Squidward took it and carried it to Wily while SpongeBob mechanically continued with his day. No more laughter fell from his lips, and no smile touched them either. He simply worked, assembling orders with his usual knowledge and precision but none of his passion.
By the time they locked up, SpongeBob was ready to go home for once. Mr. Krabs was distracted as he waved his employees off. Squidward sighed and began to walk home. It was only halfway there that he looked behind him to see SpongeBob following, looking unnaturally tired. Squidward slowed his pace until he came alongside the yellow sponge.
"Busy day."
No answer.
"Are you upset about dropping the tray?"
Silence.
"It was one tray. It's fine, SpongeBob. Today was still the Best Day Ever, right?" he asked, a bite of sarcasm in his voice.
There were several seconds of silence then a soft, broken whisper. "No."
Squidward froze as SpongeBob continued walking, his shoulders slumped, his spongy body deflated. Then he caught up to him. "What?"
"Today wasn't the Best Day Ever."
Squidward had nothing to say for the rest of the walk home. This was the first time ever that SpongeBob hadn't agreed that a day was the Best Day Ever. Was dropping a tray that big of a deal? The octopus didn't know what to say in response, and he found himself on Conch Street before he knew it. SpongeBob shuffled up to his mailbox and pulled out his letters. Squidward watched him, a niggling worry in his mind. But he turned away and got his own mail then headed for his door. When he heard SpongeBob's hatch door close, he realized that he'd gotten no goodnight. But SpongeBob would be fine. He always was.
SpongeBob walked into his house, fed Gary, and didn't even bother to make himself dinner. He wasn't hungry. Tossing his letters on the counter, he looked around and gazed at his living room. He felt exposed and vulnerable, so he hurried to the hatch and locked it tight. Then he went to his porthole windows and checked the locks then covered them with blankets. Then he walked upstairs and did the same with his bedroom window.
After changing into his pajamas, he called Gary to himself and then locked his bedroom door, something he never did. Then he lay in bed and lifted Gary up and set him beside him, stroking his shell gently. He ignored the soft, inquiring meow and said nothing. He hoped he would relax and fall asleep. He continued to pet his snail, staring at the wall and wishing that today had been a nightmare. But he knew it wasn't. He was awake. He began to cry into Gary's shell as a realization crashed over him. Not only was today not the Best Day Ever, he wondered if there would ever be a good day again.
