First and foremost (yoda voice) Own Star wars i do not, passion projekt this is.
This is my first ever fanfiction or actual personal writing and ideas I've given out/published so I'm hoping that it's not a massive flop. I'm not a native english speaker so i apologize beforehand for any mistakes in grammar and the like. As said above, this is a passion projekt that was born from my love of the prequels in particular. This is as of the writing of this chapter (hopefully more to come) simply me putting my own head ramblings into a (hopefully) a coherent text. Sincerely hope that you, the reader, enjoy what I've written.
(Triple dots … in the text signify a slight pause in speech or thought processes)
Discovery"Mistakes are the portals of discovery."
James Joyce
To reflect upon your actions is a task considered easy by some, for others it is the opposite. To take from that reflection and make something out of it, is dependent on things much harder to come by than the ability to reflect on your actions.He could not only hear the footsteps slowly but surely disappear into the distance, he could feel them in his whole body, beating like drums, slow but heavy as if mountains had come to life to walk. Echoing, beating, repeating, so many words to describe that simple action. In this moment of unnatural clarity those footsteps were the only thing that were able to occupy what you could refer to as sanity, if you even could describe it as sanity. Then as soon as it had come it was gone, having felt like both an eternity and less than a second the rushing rage and pain took over. Searing pain along with the hatred, rage and anguish took what they wanted because there was nothing to stop them from taking more and more.
Fires take until there is no more to take and in doing so extinguish themselves, although any flame can be sustained if fed with more to take.
Bone chilling cold, needles and the unbearable shining of light had awoken the man fully. This awakening was followed with what could only be described as one of the most agonizing processes that he had experienced in his entire life. Throughout this entire process he had more than enough time to think about what had transpired these recent days, although this thought process was constantly interrupted by the application of cybernetics, injection of needles and other procedures. He put his internal deliberations on pause when the mask of his new suit appeared above him to position itself above his face and then be applied as the last piece of the suit. The suit brought him nothing but pain but he had something much more important to worry about… Padmé… Nothing was more important as of this excruciatingly painful moment in his life, frankly he did not care for the pain his single minded focus on the answer to this burning question.
"Lord Vader, can you hear me?" The hooded figure standing beside the now upright medical table asked in a gravelly voice.
"Yes master" He said not even recognising his own voice, had the droids done something to his vocal cords or was this from the mask he wondered, his voice frightfully close to that of a robot had shocked him a little bit although he had to get back to the important question he was seeking an answer to.
"Where is Padmé? Is she safe? "Is she alright?" He asked craving a answer more than anything in the entire galaxy, a sharp spike shot through his mind, what if she hadn't survived, no that's impossible he must have saved her after doing all that he had to accomplish that very goal, of saving the one that he loved more than anything and the yet unborn child which she was going to have.
Pausing for but a moment after the questions had been asked the Master answered in an almost apathetic tone.
"It seems, in your anger you killed her." The bluntness of that statement coming from one he considered a dear friend and mentor did not seem to register in Vaders mind for he could think only that what had just been uttered was a lie.
"I, I couldn't have! She was alive! I felt it! His mind was falling to pieces. This couldn't be true, repeating that line over and over again in his mind as if that would make it the actual truth. Everything around him started to bend and buckle before the mental turmoil and anguish, the plating on the wall crumpled, the droids were reduced to dysfunctional heaps of scrap and anything else that the force could destroy was not left unscathed. Even the guards outside could feel the atmosphere change, both looking at each other wondering what was going on. So powerful was this anguish that even one who was half a galaxy away felt part of it. Blinded by his own grief and hatred for himself he failed to see something obvious, or was it really? Was not the master stronger or rather more versed and experienced than the apprentice in the various ways of the force? For neither sith seemed to be able, at this moment at least, or would it stay like this forever?
Denial"Refusal to believe until proof is given is a rational position; denial of all outside of our own limited experience is absurd."
Annie Besant
It had been three days by now or was it four, maybe five even, he hadn't bothered to pay attention to how much time had passed since he had begun meditating. Well maybe he wouldn't call it meditation and more something along the lines of grief fueled isolation, he was not even sure he could do something as tranquil as "Meditation". It felt rather unnatural in all honestly it had been something he had done semi frequently during his time in the order, he had avoided doing it ever since he and Obi Wan had saved the Chancellor now his new master, Darth Sidious, Obi Wan. These names sounded so unnatural in his head, Darth Sidous had been Palpatine, a mentor and close friend to him since he had arrived on Coruscant, he had occupied the missing spot of father figure in his heart. Obi Wan, his former master and brother… brother, he did not deserve to be called that after what he had done, turned Padmé against him, how could he have done such a thing to his brother. There were no words to describe the dagger which he had used in this betrayal. His hatred for Kenobi was matched only by the searing hurt of losing his wife.
The person which he had sacrificed everything for…
Padmé…
He couldn't have killed her.. no.. no his master must have sensed wrong or misunderstood what had occurred, he could never have done such a thing. He refused to believe it, not even for a second now.
Impossible…
Nothing else could be less true, that he had killed her and by extension their unborn child.
Their child… His child… there was no chance… impossible… impossible, echoing in his head that line repeated over and over again it had been doing that for several days by now.
"How could it all have gone so wrong? So terribly wrong… what was it that he had done wrong?
"No" he said under his breath, not having meant for it to escape the confines of his mind. There were only two possibilities that he could believe were true. There were two possibilities, Sabotage, by what he did not know the most likely suspects were the Jedi, Kenobi had clearly done so by turning Padmé against him but it had to have been more than just that which made him fail. Yoda was the other clear suspect in this sabotage, with his mystical powers he must have somehow been able to derail everything. Then his mind wandered a bit, maybe it was Sidious, the darkside was fueled by the wielder's emotions after all and losing Padmé was the hardest emotional blow anyone could deal to Vader.. No he couldn't have done such a thing when his own brother had betrayed him, the Jedi had betrayed him, his padawan had abandoned him. Throughout all of the turmoil Palpatine had been there helping him, giving him advice, he had helped when all other around Vader had turned their backs. It couldn't have been him.
The other possibility in all of this was… failure… he had failed… he had not done enough to save her… He had failed her. He had failed their unborn child…
He ripped himself out of his own mind, he had to do something productive or something at least, he did not care he had to get his mind on other things. His master would surely be able to help him feel useful, anything was better right now, he had been alone with his own thoughts for long enough.
The Master"The Art of Pleasing is the Art of Deception"
Luc De Clapiers
Sidious was in his office in the former Repubulic Senate which had now been renamed to the Imperial Senate. All his scheming and plotting had payed of, except for some minor issues like his duel with Windu which had not gone very well to say the least, luckily that duel had been the final nail in the coffin that was Anakin's fall to become Darth Vader, his apprentice. Then that foolish boy had gone and been defeated by that wretched nuisance Kenobi and in so doing lost the rest of his limbs. This was the biggest failure in Sidious' plan, his apprentice, The Chosen One, becoming a cripple, Sidous hated to even think of it so he had allowed Vader his isolation for these past days so that he wouldn't have to be reminded of his apprentice's failure. Although now there was a person calling his office, that being was none other than that failure, what was it that he wanted? Sidious was not particularly in the mood to deal with his apprentice but he was a bit curious, what was it that Vader was trying to comm him about?
"Ahhh, Lord Vader, is there something you need?" Putting up the age old facade of pleasantries which he had so masterfully crafted over the years of his life.
"Master, I need a task." Sidious was very interested, he wanted a task? Maybe that isolation he'd put himself in did some more good than he had expected, seemingly so eager to serve his new Master that he himself came and asked for a task to perform.
Sidious smirked, he had the perfect assignment for Vader to perform, he had to keep in a small cackle that almost slipped out, the perfect opportunity to hide a punishment for him in the form of a task that he had requested.
Memories from Younger Days"You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories"
Stanislaw Jerzy Lec
Vader was almost regretting asking his master for a task to perform. The route that had been entered into the navicomputer was one that would take him across the galaxy to a planet which he hoped he'd never have to return to. Yet here he was, in a ship on course to that forsaken world of which he had far too few good words to credit it with. Although he could give it one one credit, it possessed one thing which he found to be the most irritating thing in the galaxy above all else…
That. Acursed. Sand.
Coarse, rough and it gets everywhere, honestly the trauma that sand had given him even made him reluctant to approach a shoreline for the fear of having to deal with Sand.
He could complain all he wanted but it would change nothing, his master had asked him to travel to Tatooine to gather a certain crystal for a project he had planned. If his master saw fit to send him on this mission it must certainly be a very secret and important task Vader thought to himself, what other reason would he have to send him to a planet which Palpatine knew he hated.
The crystals that Palpatine asked for were unique to Tatooine, they were called Durindfire crystals. That name brought him back in time, to a time which he now only wished would disappear from his mind entirely for it reminded him of the betrayal he had suffered. But his mind took him there either way and most certainly against his own wishes.
The Jedi temple was bright and lively like it always was, younglings darting around in small groups, probably trying to escape some small task or the like which their teachers had assigned them or just for fun. He however was heading to a different place and was in fact rather excited about going to the lesson hall that day because today they were starting their lessons on lightsabers. More specifically how they worked and the parts contained in the contraption which all Jedi carried with them, a symbol of what they represented… supposed to represent… He managed to nab one of the frontmost seats in the lesson hall,he was not going to miss anything during this lesson. The lesson was taught by a droid which he thought was a bit weird but what did he know? Huyang was its name, he had heard some other younglings mention a name that sounded close to that after they had returned from Illum after acquiring their crystals and creating their very first lightsaber. They went through many things during the lesson but when they had begun to speak of kyber crystals was when he really started paying attention.
"So, young ones, let us make this a bit interesting shall we?" The droid said with a hint of devious amusement. "Anyone care to share from which planet they originate from?" The boy did not like sharing his planet of birth but the droid seemingly had other plans in mind and so pointing to the boy he asked.
"Skywalker was it, from Tatooine?"
"Yes, that's correct" Having been put on the spot in front of the whole class he simply blurted out the first that came to mind although he regretted it as he heard whispers behind him, he knew all to well the content of these hushed conversations and simply tried to push the thoughts out.
"Ahh, yes the dustball in the outer rim" at this statement the boy was almost forced to agree internally for he held no love for the planet where he originated from.
"A dustball with some rather interesting treasures hiding amongst its dunes and sandy depths." The droid exclaimed
"The Durindfire crystal used by Jawas in their goggles not knowing the value of what they use as simple eyewear, if used as the crystal of a lightsaber instead however it creates an almost silvery colour. Then we have the pearls found in the mighty krayt dragons, possessing the refractive capability to work as a crystal within a lightsaber. It is truly an interesting choice of crystal if one were to choose it. It's said that if you use a krayt dragon's pearl as your crystal that everytime you turn your lightsaber on you will hear the likeness of the great beasts roar."
Vader shook his head, there was no time to think of the past, especially one that was dead, he had a mission to complete and would do so faithfully to show his master that his previous failures were not to be a trend. No… he would never again suffer such a defeat, such an utter failure again. NEVER.
City of a Lifetime Past"We must, however, acknowledge, as it seems to me, that man with all his noble qualities... still bears in his bodily frame the indelible stamp of his lowly origin."
Charles Darwin
Sidious had done many things to improve and restore Vader's body, yet one thing he seemed to have crucially overlooked in Vader's own personal opinion was the lack of subtlety. Lack was not the right word, a more appropriate word would be devoid, this suit was completely devoid of subtlety, he stood at nearly 2 meters tall with his entire body covered by a jet black suit of armor with a mask that would instill fear in most species in the galaxy. A cyborg probably wasn't the most unnatural sight to see on many planets, although this particular cyborg would most likely stand out like a sore thumb in the city and with his very noisy breathing and altered voice it would make him stand out even more. The breathing was out of reach for the moment although there would undoubtedly be more opportune moments that Vader could seize to tinker and adjust parts of his suit. Right now he was more focused on at least doing something his voice and concealing his height and machinery, luckily for him rummaging through some of the compartments in the ship he found an old cloak, a backpack and some other articles of clothing. Come to think of it, why had Sidious given him such a "rustic" ship and seemingly one that had belonged to someone else before? Probably was to draw less attention to his apprentice but then why would he have made his suit so what's the saying… Over the top, yes that's a good way of explaining it Vader thought.
Well arriving in the atmosphere and then onto Mos Espa was easy enough although where to land was a the question, he was pretty sure that the ship did not possess a speeder that he could utilize so the most logical course of action was to land in one the the hangars in the city itself. Having already prepared his outfit before entering Tatooine's atmosphere he was ready to disembark the ship, he had removed his long black cape and the top part of his helmet replacing them with a scarf that covered the lower half of his mask and somewhat muffled his robotic voice to a more reasonable degree, the cloak had replaced the cape while the hood had replaced the part of his helmet. Some other parts like a light brown sash with a half skirt attached to it that covered parts of his legs, it reminded him somewhat of the skirts the clones use only this one was longer.
Glancing over to the cockpit he saw his reflection and felt a feeling of disgust in the back of his throat, he looked almost like a jedi except for the actual parts of his suit. He could feel the hatred well up inside of him upon seeing that image…
Him, a jedi?...
How wrong they had seemingly been about him…
Those damned Jedi…
Vader's mind came upon a different memory, a very recent one in fact, advice which he had received from Palpatine.
"Remember Lord Vader, a sith controls his emotions to be able to unleash them when he has need for them." Wise words from his master and mentor, ones which Vader had to remember and apply in his current situation.
He had to get going so that he could complete his mission and be off this hellish planet, yet there was something that he felt was missing, his lightsaber, that absence reminded him of his failure on Mustafar once again. The hate welling up in him at the mere idea of the planet was enough to send his blood over the boiling point.
The place where everything… had gone wrong.
Yet there was nothing he could presently do to remedy this problem like all the others…
Hells…
Everything required repair or alteration in some way after that disastrous chain of events, some issues being easier to remedy than others…
Making his way out on the streets he had one thing in mind… find some Jawas, he might not wish to remember the memories of his past but he might as well make use of them. Palpatine wanted large and unprocessed crystals of durindfire so the lenses inside the goggles that the Jawas used wouldn't suffice Vader knew, but the crystals that they made those lenses out of would undoubtedly be both larger and unprocessed and therefore perfect.
Walking through the city made him recall bits and nuggets of information and sometimes a memory would flash in his mind from his younger days, he did not wish to remember them but what could he do… he had been raised in this hellhole afterall and that stuck with you however far away in the galaxy you might travel. Stalls with different wares ranging from dead creatures, mechanical parts, droids, random baubles, the street was also filled with beasts of burden and small droid carriages going to their own destinations or simply searching for customers. All these things made him nostalgic, what if the Jedi had never found him? Would he still be living here scraping by as a mechanic, a famous podracer perhaps? Or still a slave subservient to some deplorable master?
Good question Vader thought to himself, would that have been a better life? Or did the life he was currently living worse, betrayed and devoid of all those who mattered in his life… except one of course… his master, the only one who hadn't abandoned or betrayed him when was in greatest need of them.
His most glaring weakness…
His reliance on others…
Others? Vader thought to himself, he had had more friends and acquaintances than just Jedi, the clones came to his mind, from them there had never been any betrayal not a single one that personally affected him.
They had remained loyal..
They had marched with him to the temple…
They had helped him when he needed it…
He felt something strange when making those remarks in his head, he felt… relief.
His brothers in arms had still been loyal and hadn't abandoned him…
He gained a bit of comfort from this fact for it reminded him that he would not be alone all the time at least, reminiscing a bit of his times with the clones he was reminded of Rex. He had gone with Ahsoka to Mandalore, he needed to check up on his favorite captain after this mission.
Well that was enough thinking, he had a job to do.
He found some Jawas selling droidparts, probably scavenged or stolen, he asked them for information about durindfires but weirdly the Jawas did not know that he was speaking of which Vader found to be rather curious, maybe they went by a different name here? He explained that it was the name of a crystal that the Jawas supposedly made their goggle lenses from, after explaining this to them they were able to eventually give him some coordinates for a good place to find some. Although the encounter had gone well enough, he had still needed to part with a small sum of the credits his master had given him for the mission, a considerable sum in fact but that was not what had bothered him the most about the exchange. The thing which he found very unnatural was the hints of aversion and fear in the Jawas, it felt rather odd to Vader who was used to much less tense conversations than the one he had just had. Was it his robotic voice or his height that scared them? He was weirdly focused on it even though he really didn't care what those little creatures thought of him… it just felt so unnatural.
Well, no matter he thought maybe it had been something else that had spooked them before, he had the coordinates now and luckily the Jawas had also been selling a speeder that suited his tastes so getting there would be no hassle, he didn't want to bring his ship since those Jawas were known for dismantling entire ships parked among the dunes.
Then it was off towards the given coordinates to find that which his master wanted found and brought to him.
A Place in the SandNormal is in reality something impossibly unique. The only reason we call it normal is because to us that is what it is perfectly normal, it is only when we take on the perspective of others that we see reality.
Twin suns shine, one rising before the other heralding the other's impending arrival, while at night the herald is first to duck behind the endless dunes followed close by its eternal companion. It had always been like this on Tatooine, nothing new… not ever… although it was always as beautiful as the day before and the one before that.
Beru had been lost in thought, she always liked the sunsets here, she didn't have any experience with other sunsets so she was unaware if those from other worlds thought the same as she did. It had been a normal day once more for the Lars family of two, the latest day that stuck out as not normal had been the day Owen's father Cliegg… Owen had never shown much of his feelings during the time she had known him, she was seemingly the only one who could pull those feelings into the open on occasion. That day though… he had been inconsolable, it took nearly the whole day before he managed to rein his feelings in. She hadn't complained about it, for in reality she was glad that he could at least on this occasion reveal all those feelings which he so often held to himself.
The most exciting time she had ever had during her time on the farm was when Shmi's son had visited them before the start of the Clone Wars. He was a Jedi and with him he had brought a republic senator, they to this day still remained as the highest status people she had ever met. She had had some rather interesting conversations with the senator which she still thought about to this day on some occasions. That visit did however end in tragedy, but it still remained in her mind's hall of fame as the most interesting time of her life which in all fairness was a rather boring and uneventful one.
Beru watched as the first sun started its descent beyond the rather high dune that had formed close to their little farm, almost to bring an early end to this particular day.
But fate had seemingly something rather different in mind when it had created this particular sunset… heralded by the exit of a sun a figure started to form against the background of the heralding sun. For it seems that the Lars' day was not yet over in fact, but the question remains…
Who might it be?
