?

Clad in a skimpy jet-black bikini and a pair of shades, Shego basked in the tropical sun on a cushioned teak wood beach recliner as she sipped (or rather, gulped) a blue Hawaiian, the crystal turquoise waters of Mauritius stretching out to the horizon to meet the cloudless blue sky on the perfect Summer's afternoon. The sprawling, all-inclusive resort behind her, shrouded in swaying palm trees and elaborate, fragrant gardens, was absolutely swarming with guests - especially the fabulously rich ones with money to burn...

Hanging around her neck and set in a delicate, solid gold frame on a matching gold chain was the Neptune diamond, shimmering in the sun's rays and casting innumerable specks of blue light in every which direction like a gigantic prism. With her ravishing good looks, killer figure, and her newly-acquired sparkly bauble, she looked like some kind of goddess who had become bored with Mt. Olympus, and had decided to travel to more exotic, balmy locales where she would more easily stand out amongst all of the slovenly "mortals" - the more attention, the better.

Surrounding her in a hodge-podge crowd in the sugar-white sand were dozens of wealthy young bachelors trying to put their moves on her, some of them even proposing marriage on the spot as they waved rings in her face. Of course, with that incredible diamond now in her possession, even the most impressive and bling-ey of wedding bands now looked like cheap, garish costume jewelry in comparison.

"Miss Go!" said the nattily-dressed young man down on his bended knee, "My net worth exceeds 100 billion..."

"Go on..." she said, smiling sensually.

"Even the Rothschilds are envious of my wealth!"

"Mmm hmm...tell me more..."

"And my sprawling country estate in the Hamptons boasts a six-car garage-"

Apparently, that was the deal-breaker.

"Oh, COME ON!" she exclaimed, pulling down her shades as she eyeballed him with a scorching glare. "If I'm driving a different car for each day of the week, where the hell will I stow Saturday's ride with only a SIX-CAR garage?"

She shooed him away.

"NEXT!" she called out.

"My DEAR Miss Go...", said the following young gentleman.

"Dear?" she repeated, with disgust. "I'm not your sister and I'm not your wife...yet."

He looked lost for words. "I...I mean-", he stammered.

"NEXT!"

A long-haired, goateed young man who bore a remarkable resemblance to Johnny Depp knelt down beside her. "That gemstone is beautiful" he said, in a heavy accent. "But not nearly as beautiful as you are..." He gently placed his hand on her cheek.

"Darling..." he said.

Shego smiled sweetly - which was usually a bad sign and an indication to start running away.

"Oh, you!" she cooed as she stroked his cheek in return, before suddenly grabbing his hair from the top of his head and violently yanking it upwards, revealing the previous "six-car garage" suitor who had only been wearing a mask.

"Piss off, cheapskate" she spat as she tossed his Johnny Depp mask away. "Nice Mediterranean accent, by the way. I'm sure you did your best. Points for trying! NEXT!"

As the Depp impersonator stalked off, fuming, a waiter brought her yet another drink on a silver platter - this time, a mai tai.

"Here you are, ma'am!" he said, politely, as he primly set it down on the small wicker table next to her chair.

"Call me 'Mish'" muttered Shego in a cranky tone, who was beginning to slur her words from all of the recreational beverages she'd imbibed. "'Ma'am' makes me shound old."

"Of course, ma'am!...er, oh, I apolo-"

"Kid, what did I just shay?" she snarled as she began to charge up her hands with luminous energy blasts.

"M-my apologies, Miss!" he cried, as he bowed graciously before slowly backing away.

"Thash' better" she hissed.

"E-ENJOY!" he cried out with terror, as he fled back to the poolside cabana.

"Don't tell me what to do" she answered with a snide tone as she snatched the glass tumbler, tossed away the cocktail umbrella, and began to quaff down yet another intoxicant.

Another waiter pulled up (cautiously) to her side. "Excuse me ma-er-MISS, but there's a VIP here to see you."

"Oh?" she asked with marked interest as she replaced her mai tai on the side table and smiled. "And just who ish the lucky fellow?"

Before the waiter could even answer, she felt two enormous hands begin to massage her shoulders in slow, rhythmic movements, the deep tissues of her upper back turning to soft putty in the masterful hands of her mystery masseur. With a sultry "Mmmmmmmmm...", she slowly slumped down in her chair, her eyes rolling back in her head as she lost herself in the warm, delicious sensations.

"Mmmmmm, that feelsh like heaven..." she purred, seductively. "You...whoever you are...are an artist...no, no...a sculptor..."

"And you are my clay..." came a deep, forbidding voice that sounded more suited for a vintage Hammer horror movie than a beach in the tropics.

She sobered up instantly.

"...I'm sorry...what?..."

Plucking off her shades, she glanced side to side at her shoulders; two gigantic, pale, scab-covered hands with long, yellowed nails were kneading her pale flesh as if it were pizza dough - with increasing aggression - and now it was starting to hurt...BAD...

"AAAAHHHHHH!" she bellowed as she jumped from her chair and spun around in alarm. Standing behind her seat was Silas McDougall, still tripped out in a dark suit, trench coat and fedora in spite of the sweltering heat, his strong, aquiline face still bearing the same garnet-red eyes and frightening, ravening expression from the previous day.

"What the SHIT?" screamed Shego.

"My word, what an unexpected pleasure, Miss Go!" he spoke in a well-mannered tone. "If you and your partner so wished to make my acquaintance yesterday, why did you both hide in a tree like a silly pair of lemurs? You should have come and greeted me in person!"

He held up the Neptune diamond in his hand. Goggle-eyed and startled, Shego glanced down at her neck and saw that it had vanished.

"Mine. Not yours" said Silas, grinning devilishly.

Completely forgetting yesterday's fear - spooky red eyes or not - Shego fired up her hands with flaming green blasts as she quickly adopted a combat stance, failing to notice that the beach - filled with literally hundreds of boisterous people just moments ago - was now completely deserted and silent.

"Like I told my incompetent weirdo boss the other day" she growled with a brutal scowl, "I don't deal with psychos...so pack your bags, Grandpa, cause' I'm sending you on a one-way trip into-"

"My assistant and I have a message for you!" he interupted.

With a pronounced huff, Shego powered down, placed her hands on her hips and snorted. And then a very, very odd possibility unexpectedly crossed her mind.

"Wait wait wait, lemme' guess" she snickered as she slowly cracked a smile.

"Guess away, Miss Go..." said Silas in an oily voice.

"Could it be..." she began, slowly, "that you want me to come and...work for you?" Secretly, she was hoping he would say 'no' - it was bad enough working for an idiot like Drakken, and she had absolutely no intention of working for an extra from 'The Munsters', either.

Silas continued to grin, but he did not answer.

"Is that your 'message'?..." she asked.

He still didn't answer.

"Because, well, in that event" she began, crossing her arms, smiling wickedly, and returning to her usual haughty demeanor, "a lady of my refined tastes doesn't just stoop to ANY job out there...so if anything, I'll be interviewing you to see if you're the right sort of fit for ME-"

"Klaus and I advise that you and your partner, one Drew Lipsky, refrain from attempting any foolish shenanigans on the morrow" said Silas, interrupting again.

"Actually, he goes by 'Dr. Drakken' these days" answered Shego.

"Not a REAL doctor, though...am I correct?"

Shego froze as Silas smiled at her like a gargoyle. Apparently, both of their lives were open books, and Silas had done a bit of light reading in his spare time.

"How...do you know...so much about us?" she asked, slowly. "And what is up with this 'Miss Go' crap? How did you even find out both of our names?"

Silas said nothing.

"HEY!" bellowed Shego, losing what little patience she had left and becoming extremely angry, though more than anything, it was simply the product of her quickly-swelling fear. "Why don't you GET with the program over there, quit it with the stupid, tacky 'Halloweenie' act, and-"

SILENCE...

"?"

Shego blinked in confusion at the cruel, terrible voice that had just spoken inside of her head.

"Wha...what...?" she exclaimed, in bafflement.

be silent...

"...Ooookaaaaaayyy-wh-what the hell?"

In an instant, her pleasant tropical surroundings went black as ink, and the temperature suddenly dropped from that of a Summer in paradise to that of a frigid Winter's day in Siberia.

"HEEEEEEYYYYY!" she roared, feeling as though she'd just stepped into a walk-in freezer, "I paid GOOD money for that warm weather, so GIVE IT THE HELL BACK, ALREADY! "

Not a sound could be heard. She stood alone in a cold, black void that stretched endlessly in every direction.

"Helloooooooo?"

Still not a sound.

"AAAAARGGGHHH! Where the HELL is everybody?!" she screamed in anger and frustration.

Shivering profusely, and with only two scant little bits of fabric preserving her modesty, she wrapped her arms around herself and began cursing up a storm at Silas, Klaus and anyone else who was unlucky enough to be within the range of her thoughts - including (but not limited to) Kim Possible, her 'buffoon' sidekick, the dumbass waiter who called her 'ma'am', the security guard from Smarty Mart who had accused her of shoplifting last week (though in reality, she had), her stupid estranged cousin Hugo because he used to wear glasses, her seventh grade teacher for spelling her name wrong (many, many years ago) and so forth.

"You suck! You SUCK! YOU AAAAALLLLLL SUUUUUUUUUCK!" she screamed at the top of her lungs as she suddenly became aware of a ghastly presence hovering just above her.

She looked up, did a double-take and then completely forgot about just how cold she was.

A monstrous, pallid, skeletal creature with gigantic bat's wings, curved horns and blazing red eyes loomed threateningly over her as a deep, icy voice clanged inside her mind:

stay away...

Trembling, Shego stared up at the hideous monstrosity with a wide rictus of shock, her lower jaw practically resting on the ground in staggering disbelief.

"...pardon?" she called out.

stay away...

"From you?" she replied, fearfully. "Y-yeah! No problem! Whatever you say, man!"

do not meddle in affairs beyond the reach of your ken...

you have been warned...

With a violent blast of cold wind, the eldritch horror vanished from sight, and Shego was left standing alone in the vast, darkened void.

She turned around. She faced forward. And then she turned around again. It was a dead, empty vacuum every which way.

By now, her fear had mostly subsided, and was slowly being replaced with her default emotion: cranky and put-out.

Anyone else in Shego's situation - if they weren't already in the throes of a mental breakdown - likely would have been wondering what had just happened, or what that horrifying creature was, or how exactly they were going to escape from that gaping expanse of nothingness.

But not her.

"H-hey! Where'd my drink go?!" she blurted out, heatedly.

Her voice echoed into the distance and there was no reply.

"I WASN'T FINISHED WITH THAT!" she roared.

Silence all around.

"DAMN IT!"


8:00 a.m., Monday, June 15, Drakken's "Secret" Lair

With a groan that sounded like some kind of dying beast, Shego fell out of bed and hit the floor with a dull *thud*, knocking herself back into reality with a sharp (but nonetheless, effective) jolt of pain.

"Ugghhhhh" she grunted as she opened her eyes to the hateful morning, feeling the desire to dive into an olympic-sized swimming pool of black coffee and drink it dry.

"...I...repeat..." she said to herself, as she parted her thick, black hair from her eyes, "what...the...SHIT?!"

Suddenly, the entirety of her crazy dream came flooding back to her - not so much the parts about Mauritius, the diamond or even Silas - but the parts about the endless drinks...

Hoping against all hopes, she jumped from the floor and frantically checked her nightstand for a possible cocktail glass - even a half-full one - before finally accepting the fact that it had all, in fact, taken place entirely inside of her head...sadly.

But...that diamond...mmmmmmmm...

"This..." she began, as she smiled a despicable smile that would have made the Grinch proud, "will be a day to remember...".

She just couldn't stop thinking about how incredible that gem would look hanging around her neck - hopefully just as good as it looked within her dream - or maybe...even a little bit better - once she'd "acquired" (stolen) some matching earrings, rings, and bracelets to more fully round-out the whole "Queen-of-the-World" image she was going for. No matter what - it would be hers. All hers. And if Drakken didn't like that, well, tough shit. It's not as if HE was going to wear it. And given his current foray into creative pursuits (which he sucked at), it's not like he was interested in using it to power some kind of 'Doomsday Laser' or anything.

...stay away...

As she slid her feet into a pair of warm fuzzy slippers, she suddenly remembered, with a cold shudder, the gigantic monster from her dream that had warned her to avoid interfering...but interfering with what, exactly? Was there some kind of dark, sinister plot being hatched that neither she or Drakken were privy to? Who could say? But before she could even carry the thought any further, she started to snort and giggle with a nasty, mischievous smirk as her twisted mind shifted gears and went in an entirely different direction; the sudden, bizarre thought of watching Kim Possible and her idiot sidekick-boyfriend-person getting eaten like snacks by that skeleton-devil freak struck her as insanely hilarious, and she burst into a cackling fit over the crazy fantasy.

"Kim Lunchable...and a side of...sidekick...HA!"

But honestly and seriously - NONE of this stuff even mattered. After all, it had been nothing but a wacky dream. A VERY wacky dream. Likely induced as a result from eating too much of that 'Uncle Jessie's fried chicken' the previous evening...even if it HAD been positively delish...

...At least hopefully it had only been a dream...

As she stretched and yawned, clad in her forest-green silk jammies, she suddenly heard a violent crack of thunder far off in the distance. Fearing she had greatly overslept and it was now far into the afternoon, she glanced at her wall clock - the novelty one she'd stolen from a pub that said "It's always five o'clock somewhere!" - and was relieved to discover that it was only 8 a.m., but felt deeply puzzled - and just a little bit unsettled.

"The hell?" she blurted out. "A thunderstorm? Getting cooked up THIS early in the day?"


8:00 a.m., Monday, June 15, Possible Residence

Tim and Jim, now armed with a brand-new fuel source - Kim's leftover energy drink - proceeded to set up last week's failed rocket on the backyard launch pad as their weird babysitter, Julie - who looked like part hippy, part carny, and part voodoo priestess - oversaw the operation.

"Hey, guys!" she called out in her nasal, Fran Drescher-like voice , "your parents told me not to let you mess around with anything 'incendiary'...whatever that means."

"Incendiary means 'sharp objects'" said Tim, as he pulled a lighter from his pocket. "So you've got nothing to worry about! It's not like we're playing with knives or anything!"

"...Oh, okay!" answered Julie. "Have fun!"

"Dude" whispered Jim with a grin, "when Dad answered the door for Julie, he thought she was some kind of trick-or-treater cause' she looked so weird!"

"I know!" laughed Tim. "He even tried to give her candy!"

Jim unscrewed the cap from the bottle and poured some of the black liquid into the rocket's fuel reservoir. Julie recognized the beverage instantly by its telltale label.

"Hey...I drink those, sometimes!" said Julie.

Tim eyed her bizarre jewelry, facial tattoos and nasty-looking dreadlocks that he could smell from across the yard.

"Yeah, we could tell..." he muttered. Jim giggled.

"What was that?" she asked.

"N-Nothing!" they said in unison.

"Well, let's try to wrap it up in the next fifteen, kay'?" she said. "Looks like there's already a real bad storm on the way!"

With every passing minute, the Southern sky continued to darken, and the warm, humid June air continued to get colder and colder. All of the Middleton news stations were absolutely scrambling to gather as much information as they possibly could, seeing as how the approaching storm had never even registered on the local weather forecast. It was almost as if it had somehow been summoned completely out of nowhere.