I'm in front of his door. I cannot deny that I'm nervous. He is in there. The light is on.
I knock and nothing happens. I knock again, nobody comes at the door. I start to knock insistently my mind already swirling with nefarious premonitions that end up in being wrong. He opens the door.
Shirtless.
My god.
I succeed with difficulty in moving my gaze from his midriff to his chest, and finally to his face. He looks ok, a little careworn maybe; he hasn't shaved, and I can see a shadow under his eyes but, on the whole, I would say he looks fine, better than usual actually, this wild look suits him.
I pause to reflect at the injustice reserved for us women. Why when we leave ourselves go, we look like monsters and when men do the same, they look just sexier? It's unfair.
He gives me one of his most charming smiles 'Hey Hermione! Such a surprise! What are you doing here? How's it going?'
I'm taken aback. I was expecting a totally different reception. I don't exactly know what I was expecting but not this cheerfulness.
While I'm struggling to find my voice, he pulls me inside 'Come on in, you are in perfect time. You can join us!'
Join us? Who's here?
He leaves me at the entrance and goes to the living room. I quickly follow and when I get there my blood chills in my veins. There are two women there. Two, not very much dressed, women sitting on the sofa.
He goes to them, and they gather to him like bees on honey looking at me curiously, but not very disturbed by my presence.
'Harry, what are you doing?' I ask bewildered.
'What does it look like?' He answers with a grin while one of the girls is basically eating him alive.
'Who are these women?'
'Good question'
He lifts the face of one of them very much occupied in learning his body by heart, looking studiously in her eyes, but then he shrugs 'In the end, who cares?' starting to kiss her neck voluptuously unlatching her bra with a swift move.
Caresses are starting to be more audacious, and I panic; I don't want to assist to this.
'Do you want to come or do you prefer to watch?' Harry says pausing a moment from the general groping.
I try to shout, but my voice is coming out in a broke shrill 'Harry, you cannot!'
'Why not? I've got definitely enough energies for all of you' and bringing one of them down on the sofa he says smiling lustily 'and you'll be first'
She giggles and, thrusting a hand in his pants, she manages to make my panic soar in a bolt, unlocking me from my paralysis.
'HARRY, STOP THIS INSTANT!' I shout with all my voice.
He lifts his head surprised, and now I realise his gaze is strange.
'Why?'
'STOP! STOP' I order him pulling him away from the girl. 'I want you to stop!'
'Hermione, what are you doing?' he replies upset.
I must be drastic. I take my wand pointing it straight to his chest 'If you don't stop, I'll stun you!'
The two women start to giggle, they are probably muggles, but I don't care, I won't allow him to go any further.
I can see a glimpse of something menacing in his eyes, but it goes away quite fast.
'Ok' he just says 'Girls, I must ask you to leave. My friend here wants the exclusive' and he smiles, winking, but it's a malicious smile and I don't lower my wand.
A bitter complain booms in the room but my murderous expression is a strong enough inducement, and they start to dress sulkily.
I follow them to the door my wand in my hand, ready to perform any spell I judge necessary.
While they are leaving, Harry whispers to me 'What memory do we want to leave them? A dinner in a fancy restaurant? Is it good enough? Or perhaps I should give them the fuck they didn't get? As a consolation, you know…'
I'm totally uncapable to give any answer, stunned by the coarseness and confused by the meaning but he doesn't wait for any. He takes his wand swiftly and start to pronounce an incantation on them. A confundus charm it seems. He is implanting them a different memory!
This is so totally illegal! One cannot go swiping memories from people like that!
Although, when he closes the door, I feel a quiver of fear on my back. He has definitely a strange gaze. His pupils are oddly dilated.
'So, what do you wanna do?' he asks eager returning back to the living room 'I guess sex is out of the question'
He starts to pace up and down the room.
I don't answer trying to understand what is going on and my eyes fall on the table.
'So, what do you want to do?' he repeats keeping going up and down taking big breaths 'I feel great! I want to do something.'
There is something on it, quite recognisable, and I start to understand what I'd rather prefer not to.
'What's this?'
He glances at it insouciantly but seeing my consternated expression, laughs amused 'Come on, Hermione. What do you think it is? I know you have always been a miss Perfect, but you lived in the muggle world as well as I'
I'm aghast by this answer that confirm my suspicion 'Harry, are you crazy? Why are you using this stuff?! It's poison!'
'It's great, I feel great! Get some, be my guest. There is enough to have a great night'
'No, Harry. Now you will sit down, and you'll calm yourself' I order stern, but he is not even listening to me.
'I'm going for a ride!' he exclaims out of the blue dashing out of the room.
I run after him scared 'No Harry, you cannot! There are too many people around! Somebody may spot you!'
'Nobody is going to see me. I'll be fast' and he takes one of his brooms out of the cupboard.
'No, you don't go anywhere!' I shout standing in front of him in the hallway with my wand on him.
Despite that he almost seems inclined in pushing me away but thankfully he desists.
He drops the broom 'Ok, all right. What do we do then?'
'What about nothing?'
'Can't. Too much energy. I'll do workout'
He returns to the living room, and he starts push up.
I observe him frightened. This behaviour is disturbing.
Profiting of his distraction I make disappear all illicit substances from the room. This place is a mess: there are clothes scattered everywhere, empty bottles and dirty glasses all over.
'Are you sure you don't want to have sex? I feel full of energy. We could have a great shag, you know!' he says without pausing in his exercise but throwing me such a dirty look I feel suddenly a warmth very precisely located. However, I've got still my wits about me strongly enough to answer a decided negative.
Nevertheless, better to leave the room. Just to be safe. The testosterone is too high. Better to stay away.
The kitchen is barely better. The mess is unbelievable here too. The fireplace has been boarded it up. That's why nobody has been able to contact him. I'm alarmed by the quantity of alcohol's empty bottles.
There are also vials that surely contained potions. I sniff a sweet scent that doesn't ring any bell. Another issue that will need to be solved.
I start to tidy up and clean; it takes quite a long time. As a last thing I free the fireplace and I light up a fire in it. Better. I slouch then on a chair, exhausted.
While I'm sitting there reflecting that I must do the same with the living room, I register the silence, a bit too absolute and it concerns me. No sound whatsoever is coming from the lounge.
I go to check cautiously, prepared for anything, but he is simply on the floor immobile staring at the ceiling in stupor.
I kneel close to him 'Harry, are you ok?'
He looks at me, his eyes dull but at least his pupils are back to a normal size.
'Hermione...' he whispers.
'Yes?'
He doesn't say anything, his head drops again listless on the rug as he closes his eyes, his chest going up and down with a heavy breathing.
'Harry…' I caress his head feeling an ache getting hold of me 'Come on, stand up. I cannot lift you. Lay on the sofa. I'll make you some food.'
'I'm not hungry, and I haven't got the strength to stand up. I don't feel well. I'll stay here for a bit'
'Ok, I'll stay here with you' I lay close to him on the floor encircling him with my arms. His skin is icy, and his body is drove by a slight trembling. I grasp the blanket on the sofa rubbing him to try to bring back some warmth.
On achieving it, I slip under the blanket with him feeling a desolation growing in me. I was wrong in leaving him alone. I should have stayed here in London.
We lay on that rug for a while. I feel him relaxing by degree under the influx of my endless cuddles, the torpor leaving him slowly.
It's not long before he starts to respond to the snuggling. It's pleasant to be nestled on his side exchanging tenderness but when he eases himself up on his elbow looking at me on the floor, a bit too fixedly, his hands getting a bit too bold, I sprint up quickly.
Disappointed, he pleads me 'Don't go away. Stay here with me'
My god, those green eyes.
'I'm just going to prepare some dinner. I know you are not hungry, but you must eat something. Lay on the sofa. I'll be back'
I can feel his gaze following me, but I cannot allow myself to run any risk. I can clearly see he is not himself; there is something missing in his eyes, there is a scary hollowness hunting that gaze.
I start to make some dinner with what I find in the kitchen which is not much.
While concentrating on the task ahead, my mind making the point of the situation, he storms in the room, his expression totally different. Finally, I understand what George meant.
I take the wand from the table as a reflex.
'Where is it?' he asks aggressively.
'What?'
'You know what'
And I understand. He is looking for what I swept away.
'I threw it away. You must not take that stuff'
His whole person gets a shade of lividness quite scary.
'You cannot tell me what I must or must not do' he growls 'Give it back to me' he orders walking toward me menacingly.
'No' I reply steady pointing my wand at him.
'Give it to me, I said!' he snarls advancing ever closer.
I wince frightened but I can sense I must not show any fear. I must not back away. I'll stun him if I must. He needs to understand I won't allow him to scare me.
'No Harry, I won't give it to you'
He lunges toward me, but I was expecting it.
'Protego!' I shout and the shield erupting from my wand is so strong he is pushed backward of two or three feet.
He keeps his ground however and looks heinously at me 'Give it to me' in a low growl.
My heart is pumping fast with dread despite aware he cannot touch me with the shield on. I'm well protected and now I must show him he cannot impose on me.
'If you try to attack me, I promise you, I'll make you regret to be born' I said marking every word and sustaining his glare.
'I already regret to be born!' he shouts slamming his fist against the wall with force making me jump in fright and he is soon gone from the kitchen.
I'm shacking all over. Who's this man?