Whilst the Imps were heading to Dragonspine, Loona walked to Timaeus workshop in hopes to find out where Albedo was.
What she found instead, however, was a young girl attending the shop. She had fair skin, amber eyes, and light green hair that was chin-length except for a section at the back of her head that went down to her hips. She wore a pair of dark brown round spectacles. She also had pointed light green animal ears which she tried to hide with her hair.
The long section of her hair was tied into a low ponytail. She had an Anemo Vision attached as a brooch to her cape collar. She wore thick, white gloves; dark brown-rimmed glasses; a blue corset with a ruffled hem and the Knights of Favonius crest on the black inner-part; and a pair of white boots and black thigh-highs with garter. She also wore a white and blue beret that had a smaller Knights of Favonius crest on the front.
« Oh! Um... Pardon me, are you looking for Timaeus? » the girl asked timidly.
« Uh, nah. Just looking for this Albedo guy. You don't happen to work for that dude, right? » Loona replied.
« Oh! You're looking for Mr. Albedo! I'm Sucrose, Albedo's assistant. » the girl, Sucrose, replied. « Albedo is conducting research in the mountains right now. I'd love to take you to see him, but somebody has to attend to the store. »
« Urgh, underpaid freshmen much…. »
« I'm afraid you'll have to go to the entrance to the pass and look for him by yourselves. Look out for a refined gentleman with the presence of a true scholar, and... umm... » Sucrose explained, before blushing. « ...Sorry, that's the best I can do. You'll have to do your best. »
« Well, guess off to the mountain I go. » Loona replied, as she walked towards Dragonspine.
Xxxxxxx
As Loona reached the vicinity of Dragonspine, she saw to women arguing. One of them was the girl who was taking care of Venti after the Fatui attack.
« S—Sister Rosaria, so here you are! Choir practice is about to— » the girl begun, before being interrupted by the older woman.
She had ghostly pale grey skin, pale magenta eyes with narrow white pupils, and choppy wine-coloured hair cut short in the back with a shoulder-length fringe and some strands of her bangs coloured a darker red.
She wore a form-fitting nun's habit consisting of a long white and black coif with red lining, a white sleeveless turtleneck top, long white gloves, and a long black and red slit skirt that partially revealed her right leg and completely revealed her left. She wore black belts around her left thigh, along with black fishnet tights and silver high-heels.
Her outfit was adorned with multiple silver and white gold accessories embedded with red gems; including a silver tiara on top of her coif, a silver pendant on her white top, a white gold brooch on her left shoulder and left hip, multiple silver claw rings on her fingers and a small silver censer tied to her right wrist with a long piece of black cloth. She had a Cryo Vision hanging off of her waist on her lower back.
« I've told you already, I don't go in for that kind of thing. I've got more important matters to attend to. » Rosaria replied in a cold tone.
« But... this event has commemorative significance. The church hopes that all sisters will be present... » the girl insisted.
« "Hopes"!? That's odd, 'cause I don't recall a "fulfill the hopes of others" clause in my job description. » Rosaria narrowed her eyes angrily.
« I— I mean sure, but...»
« But what? You're the event organizer, aren't you? Do you not find it the least bit odd...? »
« Wh—What do you mean? »
« This far out from Mondstadt, at this hour? Even if you set out right now, I'll wager you'd still miss the opening ceremony. » Rosaria explained. « Who knows? Maybe this is someone's grand plan to make a fool out of you. »
« Huh!? Th—That can't be! People aren't like that! » the girl replied shocked.
« Hah! Evidence decides what people are like, not your feelings. Maybe you're a little too trusting of other people. » she sighed. « Don't fret, nobody's gonna blame you if you go back empty-handed. I can't imagine anyone else was delusional enough to think I was gonna show up. But if you dally any longer, you really won't make it. »
« ...You're right! It's a very important commemorative event. If I'm late, then... R—Right, I've got to get going! » the girl raced off.
As she did, Loona stepped forward. « Yeah, good call honey. Church here must be a bitch… »
« I thought I heard something — who are you, and why are you eavesdropping? » Rosaria turned towards the hellhound.
« Easy there, girl. Just a hellhound looking for an Albedo fucker or whatever. » Loona replied casually.
« Huh. Funny, didn't know you were that knowledgeable in alchemy… What I know is that you and your little friends are quite the troublemakers. » Rosaria replied.
« Oh, sit on a dick, Rosy. » Loona casually replied. « Anyway, Lisa did tell me to meet this guy, so I guess off to meet him I am. Anyway, have a good day. »
« If it's him you're after, I made a point of noting his tracks. » Rosaria intervened. « Many people have made their way up after the snowstorm. Let's hope they're still there. »
« So what, you're looking for him too? »
« No, this is just a professional habit of mine. I sensed elemental traces in these tracks. Never hurts to be vigilant. »
« Whatever, it's probably a big fucking mountain, the sooner we start climbing it, the better. » Loona casually replied, as the two begun their voyage.
Xxxxxxx
After a while, the two girls had climbed the mountain rather high up.
« Uh girl? You sure you're good? Pretty chilly up here for folks without fur…. » Loona asked concerned.
« Me? I'm alright. I got used to operating in adverse conditions a long time ago. » Rosaria replied casually.
« Huh. Good to know. » Loona shrugged her shoulders. Then, she noticed something in the distance.
It was a young man who had bright teal eyes with three dots in each iris, pale skin, and pale blond hair reaching below his shoulders. He had a gold diamond marking on his neck.
His hair was partially pulled back in a braided half ponytail. He wore a long white coat with short sleeves and a black hood. Under this, he wore an indigo shirt and a pair of black shorts, embellished thigh-high black boots with silver accents, and long black gloves. His Vision was right below the collar of his shirt.
He was sitting in front of a cage, making some sketches of the people inside of the cage. And inside the cage was none other than the Imps.
Loona pinched her nose annoyed. « Urgh, what have you guys gotten yourself in this time….»
Loona walked towards the man, who simply turned his head curiously. « Uhm, may I help you? »
« Why are these idiots in a cage? » Loona asked annoyed.
« For safekeeping. They have been caged for the safety of this location. » the man replied.
« Don't listen to him Looney! That fucker locked us here and started painting us for no god damned reason! » Blitzo exclaimed.
« You nearly blew up a fucking mountain! How the hell do you even do that!? » the man snapped at the Imps.
« So what? What gives you the right to fucking lock us here in the cold!? » Blitzo shot back.
« As a member of the knight of Favonious, it's my duty to protect Mondstadt. And no other threat, other than Stormterror, matches your psychotic minds! »
« And what gives the Fabulous knights the right to lock us here!? » Moxxie shot back.
« ….Common sense? » the man replied.
« Look, femboys handing out songs of freedom against aristocrats is no basis for a system of government! If I went around saying some Korean singer made me the ruler of hell, that would be insanity! » Moxxie replied.
He then turned to Loona and Rosaria. « Help! Witness the oppression inherited by the system! »
« Urgh, my brain cells aren't worth it. I'm out. » Rosaria replied, as she walked off.
« Anyway, you're Albedo, right? » Loona asked.
« That would be me, yes. And you must be Loona, one of the IMPs, those demons that came from another world. » the man, Albedo replied.
« Yup. Now can you let those idiots go? Also Lisa told me to meet you to learn some alchemy or some shit. » Loona asked.
« Hm, perhaps you can help me then. It would be a fair trade, you help me, I teach you alchemy and release your friends under close supervision. »
« Whatever, this whole country is just one eternal fetch quest apparently. » Loona casually replied.
« Excellent. If I could procure your assistance, I think my research would benefit enormously. » Albedo freed the Imps.
« So what do you even need? » Loona asked.
« Ah — forgive me, this must be confusing. Where should I begin? Hmm... The essence of life? »
« N O. » Loona replied angrily.
« Hmm... You're right. Giving a demonstration would be better than trying to explain. » Albedo raised his hands in mock defeat. « For example, awakening life. Breathing new life into fallen leaves. »
« Not that impressive. It's called "fucking your assistant without protection." » Loona casually replied.
« NOT that kind of life. » Albedo shot back, before grabbing a branch and making it grow new leaves and branches.
« Yeah, I guess it's a bit more exciting…» Moxxie replied.
« However, I have a particular seed in my possession. The method I'm talking about has produced no results. » Albedo shrugged his shoulders. « It's like you, in that it hails from another world. Helping it to grow — to bloom... That's the problem my research is up against. That's where I'd need your assistance. »
« Have you tried to turn it on an off? » Blitzo proposed.
« Either you're not that funny or you're the biggest moron I've ever had the displeasure to deal with…» Albedo replied annoyed.
« What the old man is trying to say is that if you don't know how to do your creepy voodoo shit, we ain't much of a helping hand. » Loona replied.
« I beg to differ. I'm unable to comprehend the intricacies of life outside of the known world. » Albedo replied. « But you're not from the known world. By observing and researching you, I may just be able to find a way to get the seed to sprout. »
« Well, get David Attenborough to narrate our life and you get yourself a deal! » Blitzo placed a hand on Albedo's shoulder.
« Of all the nations in all the worlds in all the universe, you were stranded in mine. » Albedo pinched his nose annoyed.
« Anyway, what's the first step? » Moxxie asked.
« Time for a change of surroundings, we should be going. There's research to do! » Albedo replied.
As the group walked off, Rosaria kept a keen eye on them from behind a bush.
« Albedo and those Imps seem to have hit it off. » she noted. « Takes a weirdo to know one I guess. I wonder... Does this constitute a risk to Mondstadt? »
Xxxxxxx
As the group walked, Blitzo asked a question. « So what are those things ever gonna turn into? Pot? Cocaine leaves? »
« I don't know, but I feel the importance will lie in the method, not the end point. » Albedo replied. « Using alchemy to awaken otherworldy life in Teyvat would constitute a big leap in my understanding of the essence of life. After awakening, even creation may be possible. »
« Careful Lucifer, you might end having your ass stuck in ice if the big guys upstairs catch you doing some freaky shit…» Loona smirked.
« Anyway, the subject of my first research was the elements. In this world, manipulating the elements requires a Vision, and whilst I can see you have one, I'm curious to know if you're able to use it in a different manner from us. » Albedo replied.
« Not really….it's just that we're not stuck in the middle ages and know how to build more advanced shit than you folks, and so we mixed our technology with your magic to become the badass you see right now! » Blitzo replied.
« In that case, there's no obvious difference between the internal composition of your body, and that of the humans in this world, somehow. As a matter of fact, it's almost as if you were humans in a different body. Anyway, perhaps experimentation would be the best solution now… »
« Does it involve giant ass needles going in inappropriate places? » Blitzo asked.
« Not at all. Let me lure a few slimes to the area. Perhaps you'd be able to defeat them, using whatever method comes most naturally to you. »
« Yeah, we can do that. » Blitzo replied.
« Well, prepare yourself then. The slimes will be here any moment. » Albedo said, as he lured four Slimes in the area.
Blitzo casually shot one with a flintlock and an air bullet, Moxxie mowed down the other with his Tommie gun and icy bullets, Millie cut one in half with her flaming axe and Loona erased the last one with the "Cataboobinator".
« Well that was easy. » Blitzo commented.
« Great work. Did you feel anything out of the ordinary? » Albedo asked. « If you're injured, I have a few emergency potions ready. »
« Nah, that was easy as piss. » Blitzo replied.
« Excellent. According to my observations, the manifestation of the external elemental flow is as expected, elemental reactions are normal. There's nothing out of the ordinary. » Albedo explained. « Now that we know that the external flow is manifesting normally, let's test the internal flow. »
« And here comes the fucking needles. » Blitzo groaned annoyed.
« Not at all. I can use alchemy to create a potion that will extract elemental power. » Albedo explained. « If the elemental power is stored or accumulated physically within your body, this potion may elicit an elemental reaction. »
« That's even fucking worse! You're gonna make us drink a fucking poison!? » Moxxie exclaimed.
« Don't worry, in the normal course of events you'd feel some temporary queasiness, no bodily injury. » Albedo replied.
« That's sciencist for "It's gonna hit harder than a fucking hangover with Austrian tequilas", you fuckface! » Blitzo shot back.
« If anything unexpected occurs, I've made the necessary preparations. Try not to worry. » Albedo replied.
« You better have insurance ready if you fuck this up! » Blitzo replied angrily.
« …The fuck is insurance!?»
« No fucking clue! »
Xxxxxxx
After collecting the ingredients needed for Albedo potion, the group reached his camp.
« This is my campsite. I've added the materials we collected to the concoction. » Albedo explained. « While we are waiting, have a look over here. My assistant Timaeus here is helping me with my research. »
« Hello, I've just gotten hold of the data from your experiment. The report is already up on the board there. » Timaeus said, pointing at a board.
Blitzo gave it a good look with a "wise" look on his face. « Hmmmmm, fascinating….according to these findings, neither us nor blondie Walter White or anime Jesse Pinkman should exist…»
As Blitzo said that, he, the Imps, Albedo and Timaeus faded from existence.
Only for them to reappear mere seconds later. « Nah, just read that upside down. But there DOES seem to be a lack of evidence of the small size of Moxxie reproductive organs. »
« U. » Moxxie flipped the bird on his boss.
« Are you finished? » an annoyed Albedo asked. « Not that it matters. Potion's ready, I'll try a little first. If all goes well, I'll hand it over to you. »
He drank a bit of the potion, and then a few seconds passed. « Mm-hmm, in line with my expectations. Ready to drink. » he handed the potion to the Imps. « Remember to always keep calm, and breathe deeply if you feel unwell. »
« Well, if we're not gonna make it, just know that you can go fuck yourself. » Blitzo replied, as he drank a bit of the potion, before handing it to the rest of the IMPs.
After a few seconds, however, they widened their eyes almost as if they were on drugs.
All around them the world slowed down, as Tom Howard kept saying "Sixteen times the details" multiple times.
This lasted for a minute, before they collapsed on the ground.
« Imps? Are you well? » Albedo asked concerned.
« YOU FUCKING DRANK THIS SHIT!? » Blitzo cursed at him.
« Hmm? Oh, this was the result I was expecting, and a very positive one at that. » Albedo replied. « This potion channels elemental power into the body. Under normal circumstances, a repelling reaction is to be expected. But if the internal elemental flow is unimpeded, you'll only experience momentary discomfort. Once the flow is complete, there won't be any other effects. »
« So you knew you'd be sick and still drank some? » Millie asked.
« Eh-he, it was my own concoction of course, only natural for me to be the guinea pig. » Albedo scratched the back of his head.
« Were you too haunted by the lying vision of Tom Howard!?» Moxxie asked concerned.
Albedo just looked at them confused. « Who's David Attenborough? Who's Tom Howard!? Who the fuck are you!? »
« Yup. We broke him. » Loona shrugged her shoulders.
« Man, it's the third person we did this week. First one was Jean when we handed Klee that mini nuke collection for shits and jiggles… » Blitzo noted.
« You what? » Albedo asked "calmly".
« AAAAAAAAAnyway, so how are the results? » Moxxie defused the situation.
« Oh, yes, the experiment's results. I-In conclusion, I'd say we have our conclusion! As far as elemental energy is concerned, you're no different from anyone else in this world, hallucinations aside. » Albedo replied. « Seriously, who the fuck is Tom Howard…..»
« Good to hear buddy. » Blitzo replied.
« To sum up, this has been a positive outcome. Going forward, you can use your elemental power without fear. » Albedo explained. « Timaeus, the results of the new experiment are out. If you could see to collating them... »
« Just a moment, Sir! I'll handle it! »
« Hmm... Before we can proceed with our research, I need to... prepare something. Wait one moment. » Albedo turned to the Imps.
« No prob! »
Xxxxxxx
After five minutes….
« I'm back. Ready to continue? » Albedo asked the Imps.
« Sure thing. What's next? » Blitzo asked.
« Do you possess any... unique abilities? Ones that don't exist in this world? » Albedo asked.
« I mean, we can come to the human world with a grimoire, but it's less about having a power and more like fucking an owl….» Blitzo replied.
« Tell me you're joking….» Albedo replied.
« A demon, sentient, humanoid owl, mind you. » Loona replied.
« Oh, apologies. » Albedo waved his hands as an apology. « Have you tried using your elemental power with food? I don't mean for cooking as such — rather, channelling your power into the ingredients themselves. I'm curious to see how the taste and texture respond. It may even help with... proliferation...»
« So what are we cooking, Jesse? » Blitzo asked.
« Why don't you cook us up a Sunshine Sprat? I've just finished preparing the recipe. » Albedo replied.
« Well, I have a frying pan, so prepare for your taste buds to explode! » Blitzo exclaimed.
Xxxxxxx
Five nanoseconds later, a huge explosion engulfed the mountain.
« Rather close, you managed to blow up the camp. Still, an average outcome for a fine dish. » Albedo commented. « As far as the proliferation hypothesis is concerned, we've come up short. Seems like food presents the same headaches in your world as it does ours. »
« Still tastes fucking better than food in hell. » Blitzo commented.
« Anyway, moving on to the next experiment. » Albedo replied. « Well, you exploding the camp with your cooking SOMEHOW, many alchemical items were scattered all over. Whilst I managed to recover the majority, but two vials have been evading me: Anemo Crystalfly elemental extract and Electro Hypostasis powder. »
« Shouldn't be hard to find. They let out weird magical stains all over, right? » Blitzo asked.
« Very likely. I'll be waiting you here, trying to mend the damage you caused. » Albedo replied.
Xxxxxxx
After a while.
« Got your shit, buddy! » Blitzo replied.
« Goodness, you managed to find them? Incredible, a thousand thanks. » Albedo thanked them. « I'm wondering, this Elemental Sight... This is what allowed you to locate the items, and find me here in the mountains, correct? »
« I mean, kinda? It's nothing we can do naturally, it's something we learned on this planet….» Loona replied.
« As a matter of fact, I think this is the first time we've used this ability…. » Moxxie noted.
« Indeed. And besides, though Elemental Sight is seldom seen, it is not unheard of in Teyvat. » Albedo noted.
« So what now? » Loona asked.
« Right then. Up until now, our research has focused on your otherworldly identity. Our research on your identity as one of us is just beginning. » Albedo replied.
« We're not humans. » Blitzo replied.
« Perhaps, but you do seem to have human abilities for the most part. In essence, the differences between humans are reflected in our intellectual and physical capabilities. Let's start with physical. Looking out from where we're standing, can you see what Sucrose is doing? »
« No. »
« And if you jumped from here and landed on that cliff — the one over there — could you see her then? »
« No. »
« So what about if you planted a single blow on the mountain face here and it burst into a million fragments? Then could you see her? »
« No! Stop asking dumb questions! » Blitzo shot back.
« Hmm, then I shouldn't get too excited. Still, we'll gain a more thorough understanding with an experiment. » Albedo replied. « I know of a location that will be perfect for a physical test. Please, follow me. »
« When is this shit gonna end? » Blitzo asked desperately.
Xxxxxxx
After a while…
« N O. »
« Come now, it would prove fundamental for our experimentation! » Albedo tried to reason with the Imps.
« We're NOT jumping over a fucking giant ass lake! » Moxxie exclaimed.
« There's no need! There may be other options! » Albedo reasoned.
« We're not swimming in a fucking frozen lake either! » Loona growled at him.
« Wait! I have an idea! » Millie proposed.
« Huh? What is it? » Albedo asked.
Millie then proceeded to engulf herself and the other Imps on fire, and much to Albedo's surprise, the fire didn't affect them.
« Yeah, that's not exactly how it works for demons. Sorry, your fire doesn't really hurt us, but, I mean, I could fake it if that'll get your dick hard. »
« This is amazing data! No human being in this world can withstand being burned alive! » Albedo exclaimed in awe. « What about you Loona? Can you withstand fire as well? »
«Nah, guess it's off for a swim… » she replied, as she dived into the water.
« You've helped me to unravel many of the problems that were holding it back. When we return to the campsite, I should be able to show you something interesting. »
« What? » Blitzo asked angrily.
« I may be about to make some analogies between you and a few... unusual specimens. I hope you won't be offended. Gold, Petrified Trees, a sun eight times the size of our own... » Albedo replied. « The essence of the investigative process is enthralling, but such feelings are inevitably fleeting in nature. I'm willing to pour all my energy into research, and yet specimens are finite. As the unknown transitions into the realm of scientific understanding, the feeling of enlightenment is lost. All these things that start out as objects of fascination end up possessing the prosaic mundanity of a Sunsettia or a Sweet Flower. They cease to be noteworthy. »
« So we're boring you, that what you're trying to say? » Moxxie asked.
« Of course not. You have been of great assistance to me, and I will remember this friendship for a lifetime. » Albedo replied. « Now, before we head back to the campsite, there's one more experiment: intelligence. »
Blitzo gave one good look at Moxxie, and was concerned. « We're fucked. »
« Indeed. » Albedo smirked.
« What? »
« What? »
Then, Loona emerged from the lake, her fur completely drenched.
« I FUCKING HATE LAKES! »
Xxxxxxx
After a while, they reached some ruins.
« I imagine you must have encountered more than a few conundrums during your travels. » Albedo commented. « I'd like to observe your intelligence by means of a practical test of your capabilities — much as we did for the physical test. »
« Okay….this miiiight take a while…. » Blitzo commented as he saw the device in front of them.
« As with the physical test, there are no restrictions. Everything you do is an action I wish to observe. » Albedo replied.
« Well this looks like a mess…author, don't fail me now! » Blitzo exclaimed.
On it!
Xxxxxxx
After completing the puzzles, and draining some water, they saw some ancient scripts.
« We all pray for the almighty author, who gives us power and cuts the plot when it's too complex! » Blitzo exclaimed.
« What is this? » Albedo pondered.
« Me breaking the fourth wall, duh! »
« To the best of my knowledge, these belong to a script of some kind. They can be found all over Teyvat, but they've never given up their secrets. » Albedo ignored the Imp.
« Oh, you mean the script. Yeah, got no idea. »
« There's still a lot to learn about them, and as for why they should ever have come to rest here... A true mystery. » Albedo explained. « Let me make a copy first. I'll make time to go over them in greater detail after our research. »
« Cool. »
« Let me return to the campsite first. By the time you get back, I may just have a fleeting miracle for you to witness. » Albedo raced off.
« Yeah, not a lot to do here, let's just head back to the camp… » Blitzo shrugged.
« Not so fast. You're not leaving until I'm convinced that nothing dangerous is going on here. » a voice came from the shadows, belonging to Rosaria.
« Wait, didn't you leave this fucking mountain? » Loona asked.
« I most certainly did not. And I've witnessed everything that you and Albedo have been up to. » Rosaria replied. « I must say, you let your guards down. Or maybe you were drawn in by his compelling-sounding hypothesis and friendly demeanour? »
« Honestly we didn't give a shit. We just wanted out of that fucking cage. » Blitzo replied casually.
« Yeah, and Lisa told me to meet the fucker, said he could teach me alchemy or some shit. » Loona replied.
« Taking orders from a stranger, drinking anonymous potions, participating in all kinds of strange experiments? » Rosaria noted. « I'd sooner believe you were tricked than that you would be so naive. Or perhaps... you were colluding from the beginning? »
« Oh no! watch out guys! She's gonna blabber out about how the Flavour knights are putting chemicals in the water to turn the frogs gay! » Moxxie mocked the woman, the IMPs laughing out loud at the joke.
« It doesn't matter what you think, he could be a saint for all you know. But I understand him a little better than you, demons. » Rosaria replied. « I'm only concerned with one thing: whether his alchemy has transformed you into something more sinister. »
« Look, we're FIIIIIIIINE! We just hallucinated that Genshin Impact was made by Bethesda, worst things have happened to your own church and they're fine! » Blitzo replied.
« With an alchemist of his level, you wouldn't sense a thing. » Rosaria replied. « In any case, I'm not about to let a potential threat back into Mondstadt. »
« And what if we were to disagree? » Blitzo smirked, as he prepared his gun and knife, his crew preparing for a battle.
« Then you would make a Sister veery angry….» Rosaria grinned evilly, as she prepared for battle as well.
Xxxxxxx
Back in the camp, as Albedo made the final preparations, he felt something was gonna go very, very wrong. A sense of dread formed in his chest, and before he could understand what was going on, a massive explosion blew up yet another portion of Dragonspine.
« Imps, YOU MOTHER-»
Xxxxxxx
Many thanks to Inanna for many of the suggestions for this chapter.
I hope you enjoy this new chapter! Please review so I can know your opinion. I'm willing to accept suggestions for what is going to happen, so stay tuned! Also, remember to like and follow, if you want!
See you to the next update!
