Chapter 9

Emma didn't remember how it happened, but she suddenly found herself standing in the living room of her apartment, the sound of her cell phone ringing pulling her out of her trance. She didn't have to look at the screen to know it was Regina calling, and she was sure this wasn't the first nor will it be the last time her phone will be ringing.

All of a sudden, she heard a loud thud and felt a sharp pain in her knees. Her brain didn't have time to process what was happening before she collapsed onto the floor, her head hitting the cold floor last. It took her another few minutes to realize that she had collapsed onto the floor, tears already streaming down her face and collecting in a pool under her head.

Everything hurt. Every part of her body hurt from her head to her feet, her head throbbing with each painful sob. It was all becoming so real. Her heart was breaking as she suddenly realized that she was no longer with Regina. She knew it was for the best. She couldn't keep hurting her, she wouldn't keep hurting her. She loved Regina too much to hurt her every single day for the rest of her short life. Although at that moment, she felt like she was dying.

The rest of the night was a blur of pain. At some point, she either turned off her phone or the battery died from the constant ringing. Somehow, she made her way to bed, crawling under the covers fully clothed with her heavy boots still on, hoping the comfort and safety of her bed will help her feel a little better.

It did not.

Emma cried so hard she eventually made herself pass out, falling into a light and dreamless sleep.

She slept all day, waking just before sunset. Her throat was raw from crying all night and her chest still hurt from her tremendous heartbreak. She pulled herself out of bed, determined to take a hot shower to clear her head. She stood under the scalding hot water until it eventually ran cold, her tears mixing with the water as it ran down her body, but she still didn't feel any better. In fact, she felt worse as her stomach started to hurt with hunger pains from forgetting to eat for a few days. She dragged herself into the kitchen to make a bowl of cereal with the last of her questionable milk, causing her to realize she hadn't been spending much time in her own apartment.

After a few minutes of eating her stale cereal, she realized she should probably check in with work, given what happened the last time she worked. She turned on her computer to find an office-wide email letting her know that, due to the unfortunate events of the other night, hunters were permitted a few days off to mourn the loss of one of their own. Emma was secretly relieved that she didn't have to return to work for a few days, giving her extra time to try to move on from her break up with Regina.

She laid on the couch, drifting in and out of sleep for the next few hours, until she finally woke up, feeling incredibly dehydrated from all the lost tears. She made her way back to the kitchen to get a glass of water, finding her cell phone sitting on the counter. Once again, she didn't remember how it got there. She turned it back on to find that her voice mailbox was completely full, all with messages from Regina, pleading for her to call her back. In addition to the thirty or forty voicemails that Regina had left, she found over one hundred text messages waiting for her, ninety-eight of them from Regina. Each saying the same thing. Begging her to talk to her. Emma burst into tears again when she heard the pain in Regina's voice through the phone. She rushed back to the couch as she continued to sob, fearing she might collapse once again.

Her phone started to ring again as soon as the sun set, and she already knew who was on the other line. She rejected each call as soon as they came in, at least letting Regina know that she was still alive as the calls went to voicemail right away instead of letting it ring. She didn't want her to worry about Emma's safety afterall.

After another hour of crying on the couch, Emma decided to pick herself up and do something productive instead of wallowing in misery. She made a grocery list, realizing she had hardly anything in her apartment these days. Just as she was about to leave, she heard a soft knock on the door. She didn't need to check to see who it was; her heart already knew. She slowly opened the door to discover Regina standing on the other side with her head hanging low, her hair covering her beautiful face.

"Go home, Regina. You shouldn't be here," Emma said, resisting the urge to reach out to the woman she loved more than life itself.

"Emma please, can we just talk about this?" Regina asked, lifting her head to look at Emma, red streaks stained her pale skin.

"Have you changed your mind?" Emma asked sternly.

"You know I can't do that," Regina cried.

"Then we have nothing to talk about," Emma said, stepping back into the apartment, closing the door. Regina's hand stopped her.

"Emma please. Please don't do this. I love you! I love you so much, please don't do this," Regina cried, fresh blood tears spilling over her eyes and down her face, staining her shirt.

"I love you too, Regina. That's exactly why I can't keep hurting you. I can't and I won't," Emma said, repeating Regina's own words back to her as her own tears began to run down her face.

"We can figure something out. Find a common ground," Regina pleaded.

"There is no other way, Regina. Either you turn me, or we can't be together," Emma said, her words getting caught in her throat. "Believe me, I've spent many hours trying to think of a different way, and there is none. This is how it has to be."

"Emma, please…" Regina whispered, having nothing left in her.

"You should go home, Regina," Emma said, handing Regina a wad of tissues to wipe her bloody tears. "And don't forget to eat something. You're probably still a little weak from the other night."

"Emma, please…" Regina cried, the sound of her tears breaking Emma's heart even more.

"Goodbye, Regina," Emma cried, closing the door quietly. As soon as the door was closed, she turned to lean against it, her body slowly falling to the floor. She cried so hard again as her already broken heart shattered. She could still hear Regina on the other side of the door, begging for her to let her in and talk to her, saying they could work it all out if she just gave her a chance. But Emma knew there was no other way. She had gone through all the possible scenarios in her head, and that was the only one that worked. She sat on the floor for forty-five more minutes, until she heard Regina finally walk away, hoping she was heading home where the Vampire would be safe.

She eventually picked herself off the floor when she heard her cell phone ring once again, remembering she still needed to go grocery shopping if she wanted to eat anytime soon. She grabbed her wallet and opened the door, her eyes instantly seeing the streaks of blood dripping down her door, blood from Regina's tears. Her hands were shaking as she slowly wiped Regina's tears off the door, fresh tears falling down her own face and onto her shirt. Someone walked by and gave her a dirty look, silently judging her as they watched Emma wipe the blood from her front door. Emma didn't care, she couldn't care, when her heart was so broken. She retreated back to bed as soon as she closed her front door, forgetting all about going to the grocery store.


Every day continued the same way. Regina would fill up Emma's voice mailbox every night, calling and texting her, begging Emma to talk to her. Emma never called her back or returned a single text. Sometimes, she filled Emma's email inbox with emails, once again begging her to talk to her. Every email was deleted and left unanswered. Eventually, she started finding streaks of blood tears on her door when she got home from work, hand-written letters shoved under her door with Regina's perfect handwriting pleading once again for Emma to talk to her, smeared with her red tears staining the paper as well. Once, Emma had been home when Regina slipped one of the letters under her door, knocking softly.

"Emma, I know you're in there. I can see the lights on under the door. Please talk to me, Emma. Please," Regina pleaded, knocking again. Emma cried into her pillow until she heard Regina walk away, finally getting up to grab the next letter. She opened her door slightly to peer down the hallway, seeing more bloody streaks from Regina's tears trailing down her front door. She carefully ripped open the envelope pulling out the sheet of paper. This one was different. It only said three words: "I love you." Regina's usually perfect handwriting was shaky this time, almost illegible, and smears of red covering almost the entire piece of paper. Regina was crying when she wrote this, sobbing so hard her hand was shaking. Even after all that time, it still hurt just as much to know that Regina was still in pain. Even still, Emma knew they couldn't be together the way things were. She couldn't keep hurting Regina. Eventually, they would both move on.

Eventually…

Then suddenly the next day, after three months of constant attempts to get Emma's attention, three months of begging for Emma to talk to her, Regina's attempts came to a screeching halt. There were no more voicemails or text messages, no emails or letters slipped under her door, and no soft knocks with bloody tears on her front door. Nothing from Regina whatsoever. This radio silence hurt even more.

Regina had moved on.

Emma didn't want Regina to move on. She wanted her to change her mind. She wanted Regina to change her so they could be together. At least she's not hurting anymore, Emma thought to herself as she prepared her stakes and knives for her patrol that night. She was on Commons duty again that night, so at least she could keep her mind occupied. She checked her phone constantly as she patrolled the Commons, relieved that there was no activity that night. She passed The Blood Moon on her way home, tempted to stop in to ask Graham if Regina was alright but decided against it. It was better to make a full break instead of letting it linger. Regina had moved on, now she had to as well. It was better that way.

Instead of wallowing in her own self pity, Emma buried herself in work, picking up extra shifts and even signing up for special missions and assignments. But her heart was never really in it. She knew that time would heal all wounds and she just needed to give herself more time to move on from the love of her life.

One morning, almost six months after her last encounter with Regina, as she was finishing the last of her patrol reports, her computer chimed with a new email from her boss, requesting a meeting at ten o'clock. Emma groaned, looking at the clock, knowing she didn't have time to sleep and shower before she was expected to report to her boss' office. She quickly decided that a shower was more important since she was sweaty from her night at work. She sighed as she set up the coffee pot, knowing there was no way she was going to get through this meeting without massive quantities of caffeine. As the coffee began to brew, she threw herself into the shower, hoping the ice cold water would wake her up enough until the coffee kicked in. Three hours later, Emma sat in her boss' office, next to a man wearing a white lab coat who she had never met, suddenly very nervous.

"Swan, thank you for coming in on such short notice. I know you were on patrol last night, so we will make this short so you can get some rest. I want to offer you a promotion. In the last six months, you have repeatedly proven your dedication to the cause. Because of your hard work and dedication, we would like to offer you a chance to join our research team," Mal Drago said, motioning toward Doctor Gold, the head of The Agency's research department.

"The Agency has been compiling research that will help us better protect Humans from Vampire threats," Doctor Gold explained, taking over the conversation. "We have been designing specialized weapons that we think could help us level the playing field, and reduce the risk of civilian as well as agent deaths. We want you to join our team." Emma knew there was more to The Agency than just her contribution, but she had no idea they were developing weapons against Vampires.

"The job would come with a significant pay increase and would result in taking you off the street. The hours would still require you to work nights, since no experimentation can be done during the day," Mal Drago explained.

"Even though the Vampires can't see the sun, their bodies still know it's there and they still become sick, so we need to adjust our work around them," Doctor Gold explained.

I know that. Regina could always feel the sun, even when she was tucked safely in bed, away from the sun's harmful rays, she thought to herself as she tried to focus on the scientist in front of her.

"However, the shifts are nothing as late as you are working now, and we do not work weekends," Doctor Gold continued to explain.

"I…uhhh…" Emma stuttered, her exhausted brain unable to process the information.

"Why don't we give you a tour of our facilities and then you can take a few days to think it over?" Doctor Gold suggested, sensing Emma's hesitation.

"Yes, get some rest and think things over after touring the facilities, and get back to me in a few days," Mal agreed. Emma just nodded as her brain struggled to process the opportunity she was being presented with.

Emma followed Doctor Gold out of the office and to a locked door at the end of the hall. He swiped his badge, unlocking the door which led to a stairwell that only went down. She followed him down several flights of stairs, leading into the basement of the building that Emma didn't even know existed.

What she saw next shocked her.

There was an entire research facility in the basement, filled with all sorts of experiments. She was given a tour of the different research labs and all the new weapons they were developing, including a UV bomb that, when activated, would release a blast of pure UV rays, instantly killing any Vampire within the blast radius.

But what she saw next made her sick to her stomach.

She was led to a sealed ward. Walking down a small hallway, she was shown room after room filled with rows of small cages, each one containing a trapped Vampire, many looking very hurt.

"We are fully stocked with live subjects that we use to test all experiments on. We skip right to live test trials." Doctor Gold laughed, leading her further down the hall. "This ward contains close to fifty Vampires of varying ages, from Fledglings right out of the ground, to Elder Vampires. That way we can properly judge how each weapon will affect each group of Vampires."

"Where did they all come from though? Why would any Vampire volunteer to be a test subject for a weapon against their own kind?" Emma asked as she looked in on the suffering Vampires.

"Oh none of the animals are here by choice. We snatched them right off the street." Doctor Gold laughed once again, his face twisting in disgusting pleasure.

"While they were attacking someone?" Emma asked, fearing she already knew the answer.

"Nope. Most of them were just walking down the street, minding their own business when we took them." Doctor Gold laughed.

"Isn't that against the treaty?"

"Eh, treaty? What treaty?" he laughed.

"But if they are being peaceful, we're not supposed to touch them. It's the agreement." Emma said, confused.

"Whatever. At the end of the day, a Vampire is a Vampire. We need live subjects and they are live subjects. Who cares about the fine print." He laughed once again.

Emma felt sick to her stomach. This was not what she signed up for. This is not why she joined The Agency in the first place. She signed up to protect people from Vampire attacks, not to be a part of live experimentation on peaceful Vampires. She had to get out of there as fast as she could before she vomited all over the white tile floors.

"That's just about all there is to see, just more rooms with more Vamps. Why don't we head back up and I'll let you get some sleep," Doctor Gold said after a few moments of awkward silence, sensing Emma's hesitation.

"Yeah, I think I need to get some rest before I can make any decisions," Emma said, following him back up to the top level, showing herself out of The Agency headquarters.

She ran home. She ran faster than she had ever run before. She ran until her lungs burned and her legs felt like they were on fire. She ran until she was safely behind the locked door of her apartment. She took a deep breath as she locked her door, and then ran directly into the bathroom, vomiting her breakfast into the bowl. How could she have been so stupid to join an organization that would do something like that? She needed to get out of this. She had to turn down the job. She needed to quit and leave The Agency all together. Maybe even leave Boston. But then her mind wandered to those poor Vampires being held in captivity, taken against their will for the sole purpose of being tortured and experimented on to gain knowledge on how to more efficiently kill them. She couldn't leave them there. She had to do something. If being with Regina taught her anything, it is that not every Vampire is bad. In fact, most of them want to live a peaceful existence and don't bother anyone. She needed to save those poor Vampires from the pain and torutre they have already endured. She had to do something.