"It's the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen."
Muhammed Ali
A Dark Lord of the sith, sifting through the sands in search of some rocks… Sidious has a talent for setting a scene at least.
Three days… three days on this god forsaken dustball of a world…
Vader had been out in the dune sea in search of durindfire crystals on his masters order for three days at this point, during that time Vader could count the amount of hours which he had slept on one of his hands. He wasn't very angry at that fact since sleep only made him recall the events which had led him to this point in his life so he could technically call it a blessing in disguise. He was almost done with his assigned task which both made him relieved and worried… maybe that wasn't the right word to describe it but he still felt a feeling akin to it when thinking of returning to Palpatine. Would he be happy with the crystals he had found… would he have another task that Vader could use to distract himself from the head splitting grief he was experiencing when he thought of all the things that had transpired this month… hells a month hasn't even passed… these three days alone had felt like eternity to him.
He was letting his mind ramble on too much, he had to regain focus on his task or he would be stuck in this hellish sea of sand for far longer than he wanted to.
Palpatine wanted larger crystals of durindfire although everytime Vader found smaller ones he would pocket them for himself they were still valuable after all… he wasn't going to rely on Palpatines as his only source of funds. During his time as a Jedi he never really had to worry about accruing vast capital for personal use, but ever since he returned to this planet he had made it a point to find ways of expanding his own wealth. A plan had been formulating in his mind these past days which required that he find ways to gain wealth, in fact it was a paramount priority. When he would return Coruscant there were two things that could happen, either he received a new mission from Palpatine or he would start working on his personal plan. But that had to wait until he was done sifting sand for days on end, he was for the first time happy he was encased in this suit of his, none of that coarse sand was getting through it.
The Imperial Dragon"There are two things a person should never be angry at, what they can help, and what they cannot."
Plato
Tatooine, home to arguably one of the most terrifying and dangerous creatures in all of the galaxy, the Krayt Dragon, why such a massive beast would be living on a desolate planet like Tatooine was an answer which most likely no one had an answer to, yet here it lives.
Recently however, the natural balance had shifted somehow… every creature and being had felt the change, although none could ascertain why this shift had occurred. To most however this change would be ignored, yet for others it could not be ignored so easily.
Sifting… sifting… and some more sifting… this will surely be what turns me insane he thought to himself, he couldn't wait to be done with this monotonous task and be off of Tatooine. Then when he gazed across the sands he noticed something in the distance, a ripple in the sand at first but quickly expanding and approaching… perfect he thought. What more could go wrong in his life, all the things that had happened, now this… a Krayt Dragon… Vader's speeder was too far away so an escape was out of the question at this point so he did the only thing he could think of and prepared to fight for his life.
Launching out of the sand, it was a sight to behold for sure. Such a magnificent yet terrifying beast in its natural habitat, Vader was more than a bit worried about what he was about to face but he would do so nonetheless.
He wouldn't run… never again…
The lack of a saber was concerning to Vader but he had managed to formulate a plan that would hopefully let him at least battle the beast to a standstill. Reaching out across the sand with the force he dug deep into the anger, hatred and pain that he had repressed this past week. It felt as though he had torn down an entire damn… the power that he managed to muster was unfathomable, no one could stop him now.
The dragon that had quickly been approaching faltered in its advance when it felt the wave of energy rush out of its intended target for even the beast could feel and understand, yet this reveal of power only spurred the predator into greater focus for this was a challenge now.
Countless numbers of objects arose from the sands, bones, rocks and crystals creating an unparalleled sight of the power that one could harness with the force… the Dark Side of the force. In the midst of all these objects stood one figure hidden beneath weathered garments, the black leather and armour pieces only noticeable to those who looked with particular intent. His arms stretched out from his sides with open palms and curling fingers, suddenly they shifted and moved to reaching towards the massive beast, it barely had any time to react to his movements for so violently fast and sharp had the movement been that if you had blinked before it happened you would open your eyes to his current pose. In the same moment hundreds of the floating objects seemingly hurled themselves through the air towards the creature, striking its body with such ferocity and speed that the creature was forced to stop in its path. Feeling the surging flood of unusual energy pulsate from this figure made the beast question the choice it had made in going after this being. Then half of the creature's vision blacked out, roaring with great pain the beast coiled and twisted, reaching out with its tail to try to retaliate against the foe it was facing although it felt nothing connect and so arched back and twisting around itself to get try to locate the foe.
Vader had sent the onslaught of objects towards the creature, taking all his focus he was able to muster up he aimed the larger objects towards the creature's head. This was successful and a handful of jagged bones managed to lodge themselves in the beast's left eye, yet in the next moment he was pushed back due to the creature's tail having struck the dune he was standing on so close he could discern the texture of the tail. Smashing into the rock formation behind him he felt the air forcefully leave his body, taking a short moment to regain his composure he looked over at the beast which had seemingly done the same as him.
Yet this had been its greatest mistake in this confrontation for it was now poised to fall into the Sith's trap like any other prey. Surging forward the beast was unable to see the rock arch breaking apart to its left due to the injury it had suffered, the parts of the now former rock formation now shot through the air and struck the great beast smashing into its left side. Having been almost hurled onto its right side by the onslaught of rocks it was yet again too late to notice the last very sharp and large rock piece that was held above it.
Falling like the blade of a guillotine the improvised tool of execution severed the beast's head from the rest of its body… a chill silence rung out in the moments after where the only sounds one could hear were the small gurgles from the deceased beast and the labored breaths of triumphant Sith Lord.
Falling to his knees Vader let out a prolonged exhale filled with the remainder of the anger he had not harnessed to perform the incredible feat of force manipulation… Now he could rest even if it was for but a moment.
Respite in the Storm"You were designed for accomplishment, engineered for success, and endowed with the seeds of greatness."
Zig Ziglar
The endless sands were littered with debris and bones after the short battle, the large stone separating the dragon's body in two signifying who the battle had favored.
The victor was retracing the ordeal in his mind, it had been a surprisingly quick battle lasting for maybe 2 -3 minutes. A profound calmness had been washing over him since the end of the battle, it felt as though all the anger and hatred he had been repressing was gone. He knew that he had used his emotions to empower himself so that he could perform the monumental feat that let him walk away as the victor from the battle, but this felt eerily close to emptiness… no… he had been so consumed by his emotions that he simply forgot how it felt when he wasn't actively drowning in them…
Krayt dragon… krayt dragon pearl… focus crystal… a plan was seemingly forming in the Sith Lords mind, a plan to fill a void left by that fateful day on Mustafar… No other would suffice now, not to him for it would only be natural that the most powerful thing to hail from Tatooine would wield the greatest treasure of the now second most powerful thing. Reaching out with the force he soon found the object he sought… curious… that was rather unusual… he had never heard of something like this occurring before. Well, he wasn't going to complain about it…
It was only better in fact…
Much…
Much better…
Returning to a departure"The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously."
Henry Kissinger
Speedin across the dunes a victorious Vader was heading for Mos Espa, he felt as though he had been made anew… he still felt the anger and hatred gnaw at his heart and soul yet it somehow felt easier to endure now. Why was this? He wondered, it couldn't be something as simple as killing things… that was not it… it was the accomplishment. The power that he had harnessed proved that the things he had done had given him part of what he had sought… had he been able to use this strength before, then… then she wouldn't have… have died… had he been given just a bit more time everything would have been fine, nothing would have gone wrong. He would've had both his angel and their child in his embrace, but that scene had been turned into sand by the Jedi… by Kenobi… why was he not able to do this then? Why? WHY? What cruel twist of fate's strings had brought about this tragedy.
He had nothing now, only Plapatine remained which in itself was comforting to the pained being crossing the dunes of his birth planet. He was done with this planet, he never wanted to return here, ever again.
Making his way through the city he held his gaze fastened to the ground and his speeder… he did not wish to look upon the buildings, the people, he did not wish to be reminded of the life that had been squandered and torn from him. He felt a cold wet bead trace itself along his charred skin beneath the mask, hidden from the world none could see the sorrow washing over this person.
Having made it to the hanger which his ship had been in for the past days he folded the speeder into its portable form and brought it along up the small ramp into the ship, there was no point in wasting a perfectly good speeder by leaving it on this hellhole. Programming the navi computer with the coordinates for Coruscant, Vader leaned back in the pilot's seat releasing a deep and pained sigh… "Finally off of that horrible planet" he thought to himself.
Changing out of the disguise that he had created when he first landed on the Tatooine and back into the one he had arrived in, reattaching the top part of his helmet and clipping on the black cloak around his neck. Looking into a mirror that he'd not noticed before he looked upon himself… all this… so that i would be stuck in a suit?
What a cruel joke…
When once again he was face to face with his master he was going to ask if he could make some changes to the suit, there were many things that irked him about the suit. He had tried to figure out why Palpatine had put him in this suit? Was the surgery so urgent that they were unable to get their hands on better parts… maybe… maybe it had a different purpose, Palpatine knew him well so maybe this suit was tailored to help him in some way unknown to himself… yes, that was most likely it. Even if it had been tailored to him specifically there were still parts of it that he wanted to change, the helmet was one thing in particular, the only part of his suit that had a clear purpose in mind… to instill fear into others. He thought it could be improved and changed to perform its intended purpose much better. The mask was formed out to resemble a rough shape akin to a humanoid skull which admittedly was to many species rather unnerving, but there were more universal concepts one could apply so that all species no matter if they are humanoid or not would have fear instilled in them. Well that would have to wait anyway so there was little point in thinking about that now.
Arriving on Coruscant, Vader made his way to a secret facility that Palpatine owned where he had ordered Vader to return to when his mission was done. Stepping out of the ship with two large bags containing the crystal that he had gathered he was escorted by one of Palpatine's now Imperial Guards into a large office, he found his master gazing out of the window across Coruscant's upper layer.
"Lord Vader, I see that you have accomplished your mission." The old man said in a somewhat unfocused manner.
"Yes master, I hope that the crystals are satisfactory, if not then I shall return to Tatooine and gather better ones." He did not actually mean that, he never wanted to go back there again. But he did not want to seem rude and ungrateful for the mission he had asked for.
"Yes… yes, I believe these will be useful." He answered, having noticed the apprehension and reluctance in his apprentice's words. He knew fully well that Vader did not want to return to that backwater… maybe he would send him back simply to torture him further but alas there was an even greater opportunity that would prove far more effective than sending him back there.
"I understand that thinking about your dear wife causes you a lot of pain" He stated plainly
"Yes, it does." Vader answered quickly as if that would rid his mind of the images flashing through his mind at the mention of Padmé.
Sensing the tempest raging through his apprentice's mind he couldn't help but smirk to himself.
"I do not want to dredge up bad memories, but I believe it would be good for you to attend her funeral." Ever the manipulator and schemer, Sidious had worded it in a way that made it seem that he cared for the well being of his apprentice.
Vader remained silent after hearing those words… funeral… he had been so preoccupied with sifting through damn sand to even think about the fact that the love of his life would have a funeral. His self hatred flared up inside him once again like it had during those days of isolation after the surgery.
"It will be held on Naboo, tomorrow." Sidious continued sensing that he was striking at the open wound.
"You already have an inconspicuous ship to utilize, so I believe it most prudent for your recovery that you set off for Naboo in the evening. But firstly we have some other matters to attend to." Having sensed that his apprentice was hiding something or rather not asking the question that he wished to have an answer for.
"You are dissatisfied with your suit, Lord Vader?" He asked, now very much intrigued in what his apprentice would give as an answer.
Vader had forgotten that Palpatine was extremely perceptive and seemingly always knew when something was troubling him.
"Dissatisfied… no master, I only think that if allowed, I could make some improvements to it so that it would serve me better. Don't mistake my engineering mind as ingratitude towards what you have done for me." Not wishing to upset Palpatine he gave a neutral and requesting response to Palpatine's remark.
"Interesting, walk with me there seems to be lots for us to discuss…
Despair once more"Life begins on the other side of despair."
Jean-Paul Sartre
A procession of sorrow… the only words one could realistically use to describe the funeral of Padmé Amidala. Beloved by family and friends, by the citizens of the galaxy. That she had suffered such a fate was more cruel than… she couldn't even describe something that was more cruel, possibly the purge of the Jedi but why had she been caught up in it. The girl was going through all the memories she had made with the senator… all the lessons she had taught her during the time they had known each other… a single tear sought its way down her cheek but was stopped by her hand wiping it away. What made the whole tragedy even worse was the fact that she had been with child and along with its mother had perished, what cruel weavings of fate created such tragedies she thought to herself.
The man was watching with sadness in his eyes as the carriage made its way past his place in the crowd, she had been a true friend to him all these years. Working alongside her in the senate had been an honour and a privilege which he did not think himself worthy of, yet he had still had that privilege which he was eternally grateful for. The memories made during those days would forever be etched upon his soul… her kindness, thoughtfulness and fiery passion. How he wished he would have met the child that she would've had, the mere presence of that child would have certainly lit up any room.
A sister she could never replace, that is what fate had ripped from her… the times they had spent with each other here on Naboo before she became queen were some of her most treasured memories that she had in life. Holding the hands of her children she could barely hold herself together, she had done nothing but good for the galaxy, for Naboo, for her family… it wasn't fair… none of it was. Why should she get to stand here with her beloved children when her sister who by all accounts had done more good in the world than she could ever hope to even compare herself too, why is it that her goodness was not rewarded? Why? Why was she not even given the chance to look upon the face of her own child?
Was this what safety and peace cost? Was all this sorrow and pain what it had to cost? Why? Why should something like peace and security have to extract such a toll for their existence? All these questions were unanswerable, no could give the answer if they were presented with them. An internal laugh sounded and slowly but surely that laugh sounded more and more like that of the mad, the broken and insane, there was no happiness in it, only pain, sorrow and much more of each.
Several hours had passed, it was the dead of night… This was the only time she dared to say goodbye… her weakness, abundant to anyone who would see her was not something she dared show today. She had walked behind her daughter during the funeral but she could not bring herself to attend… During those circumstances she would've found it impossible to properly send her beloved daughter off into whatever came after death. Walking into the building where her daughter now lay resting for the rest of time she felt her knees buckle beneath her, overcome with grief and pain she barely made it to the tomb before they gave out. Tears flowing like rivers reaching down from the mountains to unite with the sea, the sobbing of a heartbroken parent who had lost that which is most important in their life. She was stuck like that for what felt like an eternity before she finally could muster the strength to stand up somewhat straight.
"Ohh Padmé… my sweet child… What made it come to this? It is not fair that you would have to leave the world before me, before you had experienced all the happiness you were owed for all that you've done.." Close to falling into tears again she had to center herself so that she could finish what she had started saying, for if she gave in she felt that she could never again stand up.
"You always did what you thought was best, that which would help the most of people, you always showed your compassion and kindness. No mother would be disappointed with a daughter like you, the stress that you put me through was unimaginable at times… and now… now I'm here without you, why would fate have it like this? You never did anything to deserve this fate… you deserved so much better, you should've had the chance to see your child grow into an adult, you should've had the chance to live in peace and quiet after all that you've done." No amount of words would come close to explaining her grief, to vent her anger, to plug the hole from which her happiness was pouring out.
"I wish I could've met my newest grandchild… I wish you were still here… but you're not and neither is your child. I can only pray and hope that you've found the peace that you deserve."
Having said her goodbyes she turned to leave, which was much easier said than done, unfathomably hard in fact. Yet in the corner of her eye she saw a black cloak flutter out from a corner, after which she heard mechanical breathing that she had seemingly not heard before. "Who could that be?" She wondered, disregarding her own pains for the sake of others… maybe it was from her that Padmé had inherited that trait… maybe…
The Broken"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass."
Anton Chekhov
He gazed out over the railing to the fields, forest and waterfalls beneath Theed, beautiful just like her, the planet did nothing but that… reminding him of his angel, but the keyword was "remind". For there was one crucial detail that the planet lacked… it was not her… nothing could truly be like her for she was one of a kind, beauty incarnate and ever radiant.
Why?
Why had he failed?
How could one squander everything like he had?
What type of worthless being would lose that which he was so close to having?
He couldn't think straight ever since he had looked upon the lifeless corpse of his wife… something he was responsible for, not solely, but still responsible for. He had failed her and nothing would change that… he had failed their child…
Having managed to sneak off before falling to his knees with only the railing separating him from the ground and a fall that would surely kill him… well probably not if he used the force to slow his fall, but he wondered if that would not be preferable to having to live this empty shell of a life. What if he simply gave up… no… none of it would've mattered… all the pain… the grief… none of it would have been necessary. That was unacceptable to him, nothing could change that. If only Kenobi had not interfered then everything would have been alright… none of these ceremonies would be needed… everything would've been alright.
It had been 4 hours since things had died down and he sensed very few people around now, he had resolved himself before even stepping foot on the planet to say goodbye to her and apologize for what he had done. Hidden under his cloak was a bouquet of flowers, he had given her a similar bouquet once, she had taken it and walked over to the balcony where the sunset contrasted against her figure magnificently that day… he felt a tear fall down his cheek… he did not even react. He was too broken right now to care about anything except that which he had lost.
When he was about to turn the corner into the room where Padmé lay he stopped… he heard crying, it was almost unbearable to hear… such pain… the feelings emanating from this person were close to what he himself felt now and have felt for the past days, the loss of a loved one. He stayed there frozen, his back against the wall, he stayed frozen there for what felt like an eternity listening to what the woman had to hear. He pretty quickly realized that it was Jobal… Padmés mother… his mother in law… they had met before but she would not recognize him or understand the significance of the connection between him and Padmé. He would simply wait for her to leave then give his own goodbyes.
When she was getting up to leave however fate seemingly had other plans for the duo, a gust of wind made Vader's cloak flutter out from his hiding place behind the corner. He knew that he had been found out before he got any confirmation that he was, although he held onto the wish that he was simply imagining it and that she would leave.
"Hello? Is anybody there?" Jobal asked, having seen the cloak flutter around the corner.
"Why? Why did she have to have seen it?" Vader thought to himself, why couldn't something for once have gone like he wanted it to go. Before he knew what to do he was standing with his side to the person peeking around the corner.
The pair was seemingly frozen, looking at each other, Jobal looking straight into Vader's mask that was half covered by the hood on his cloak yet still visible, Vader was looking at her from inside the mask although he did not turn his head to face her so it was more like he was giving her side eyes.
Then once again a gust of wind manipulated Vader's cloak, this time opening his cloak to show the left side of his body where he was cradling the bouquet of flowers.
The sight of the flowers made Jobal snap out of her frozen state… the contrast between the mysterious person clad in a jet black cloak and black polished armour and the vibrant bouquet of flowers, it was a rather striking image the masks sharp edges formed a shape close to the Mandalorian visor style that he clones used but this was more elegant, sophisticated and coloured black and very well polished. Being this close to the armoured and hooded figure confirmed her suspicions that it was from here that mechanical breathing originated… this person… who were they?
"I apologize, I don't mean to be rude, your appearance is rather peculiar is all." Jobal said, trying to save them both from the awkward scene that was unfolding.
Vader could muster no words to give in response so he stood there silent as he had been during the entire encounter.
"Are those flowers for Senator Amidala? They are very beautiful, a rather diverse arrangement, she would surely have liked them." She said once again offering the silent figure a chance to give a response, repressing the thoughts she herself had invoked by talking about her daughter to hopefully allow the mysterious person some comfort in the current situation.
"Yes, they are" Vader responded, having decided that the silent treatment was going to be utterly ineffective in this scenario.
"I did not wish to disturb anyone, hence the late hour" He continued.
Jobal was somewhat surprised with the voice, robotic, it was clear that he was using a voice module but at least she could tell that it was a man underneath it all, although she could've probably figured that one out without hearing his voice as he was almost standing at two meters tall.
"I see, well I was just leaving so don't let me disturb you." She said turning to head for the exit.
"She was your daughter…" Vader was wondering why he had said that outloud, that had been the perfect opportunity to end this incredibly awkwards scene but something had seemingly compelled him to further the conversation.
Jobal was taken a little aback by what the man had said… it sounded more like a statement than a question.
"I guess you overheard me talking,".
"Yes".
"Well, yes… she was my daughter."
"I know" the man stated.
This took Jobal by surprise, she had not expected such a response… it was almost like he had already been aware of the fact before he had overheard her talking.
"I don't think I got that right? You said that you already knew".
"Yes" another emotionless statement, but one that confirmed Jobals suspicions. This man somehow knew of the relation between her and Padmé Amidala before the funeral, but why and most importantly how did he acquire that information.
"How did you know that?" She asked, having not sensed any danger from the man except for the unnerving outfit he was in she felt safe to ask that question.
"She told me'' He said in a simple manner. Even though they had technically met before she wouldn't realize it, he wasn't lying either since Padmé had introduced them to each other.
Jobal was taken aback by this, though she did not show it openly having managed to maintain her composure. She rather quickly blurted out a response to the statement that the man had so calmly given.
"What… She told you?" Her mind was running in circles… Padmé had told him? But why would she have done that, it was supposed to have been secret to protect them and her. This didn't make any sense to her… who was this man who had waited even longer than her to say goodbye to Padmé… carrying a beautiful bouquet of flowers as well, which she thought meant that she had been close to him. A dear friend perhaps? She did get up to a lot of mischief even during her time as senator for Naboo, who was this man?
Vader being rather competent with the force could read most of her thoughts and cursed himself slightly that he had not waited longer so that he was sure to not bump into people. Well either way that was not possible anymore…
Jobal looked on as the man dislodged himself from his leaning position against the wall and when he walked around her and towards Padmé's tomb. Following behind the man who she could now confidently say was 2 meters tall at least she couldn't help but wonder what he was doing and once again questioning who this person was? The man stopped right beneath the small steps that led up to the sarcophagus where Padmé lay, taking out the bouquet and carrying it in both his hands he simply stood there looking at them. This man was clearly saddened by the death of her daughter, even though his face was hidden beneath the mask she could gather that much from his mannerisms. Then he climbed the small steps and placed the bouquet gently on the stone facing upwards toward the inscription that had been carved on the sarcophagus. The man then looked up towards the mosaic window that was a depiction of Padmé during her reign as queen…
"Angel mine…" the man said softly, one could almost not tell with the voice modulator but Jobal immediately recognized that tone, then she looked at his hand or rather the gauntlet covering it.
Finely polished, black metal scales on each part of his fingers with claw like parts on the end and a small plate of the same material and quality as the scales on the back of his hand. Against the white stone it stood out so clearly, it was then that she realized she had completely forgotten that there was one…
"It's you…"
"You're the father… aren't you?"
Sorrow once more filling her throat. She scolded herself inside her own mind, you were not the only one who had lost something, a daughter and a grandchild… others had lost someone too… he had lost his child and the woman he loved.
"If you wish to cry, do it for her…"
"I do not deserve your tears…"
"I failed her…"
"I failed our child…"
"I failed myself…"
