Instant Mashed Potatoes

Murdock, paper in hand, sidled up to B.A. and whispered furtively.

"B.A.! Will you sign this petition to ban instant mashed potatoes and stop potato cruelty?"

B.A. turned to look at him. "Potato cruelty?!"

"SHHH, B.A., not so loud! The instant mashed potato manufacturers are trying to quash the rebellion. Their spies are everywhere…" He glanced around dramatically.

"There ain't no potato rebellion, you crazy fool."

Murdock looked affronted. "Is too!" He looked around again, then pulled a potato from his pocket. "This is Jeremy."

"That's a potato, fool."

"His family was taken away from him. Those naive young spuds ripped from their homes, with hopes and dreams of becoming french fries or chips but NO! They're dried out to powder and stuffed in a box to sit on a pantry shelf for months, just longing to be made and eaten!"

B.A. glared at him, but Murdock pressed on.

"Would, uh, would you like to discuss the cause with Jeremy? He's in hiding, but he's doing a clan-des-tine meet-&-greet in half an hour!"

"There ain't no cause, and that potato ain't alive. You the one who needs to go into hiding!"

Murdock decided it was time to leave B.A. alone.