(Don't) Shoot To Kill
Summary: The geniuses of the ADA, for once, are the most surprised when a certain someone brings spicy curry to the office so Dazai would take care of himself
Part 7 of Dazai's Strangest Guests
Tsushima Kiye never once claimed to love all her children equally, let alone all of her grandchildren. No, there was clear favoritism towards one daughter and towards that daughter's son and everyone eventually had to learn to live with it. She didn't hate her other kids, far from it, but she was not ashamed that she had a favorite child, a favorite grandchild.
She'd lost that favorite child and then, in a way, she'd lost her grandchild, too.
Thankfully, though, he was still alive today and he seemed to be better than she'd ever known him before. However, she knows he's still suffering inside. It was better now, easier, but grief never quite leaves you alone. Kiye knows from experience. It just dulls before it sometimes suddenly becomes sharper than any knife and stabs you through the heart when you least expect it. That's just how grief is; grieving is a process that, unfortunately goes hand in hand with living. As such, one just has to find a way to deal with it.
Dazai Osamu, the man who once used to be Tsushima Shuuji the boy, never was good at dealing with such things, with his emotions. She's not surprised his grief is still as sharp as any knife he'd held, against himself and others.
For years, there was nothing Kiye could do to help.
But this year, after finally seeing him again all grown up, with him asking for help, even if it wasn't for the sake of himself ... Well, this time, Kiye helped. She followed her grandson's instructions for the thing he asked and then went above and beyond, for his sake.
Menu-san hadn't minded. In fact, she now worked full-time for Tsushima Corp and even wanted to meet Kiya's adorable Osamu-chan, so it wasn't hard to have her use her Ability for a bit of something extra. Then Kiye purchased a cute, two story house looking out at the ocean but not too far away from the hustle and bustle of the center of Yokohama with six bedrooms, a big kitchen, two bathrooms, a work room/study and two living rooms, one bigger and one smaller. There was also a basement, an attic and a decently sized yard with a small flower garden near the front porch. She then purchased a small, local publishing company, made arrangements with a good nearby school and then stepped back and let things develop as they should.
She was sure Osamu-chan will love this.
00000
Dazai had just recovered enough to finally ditch the wheelchair and the casts when his next 'weird guest' arrived for a visit.
It started with Fukuzawa dropping his cup of tea he'd taken out of his office for washing as he saw a familiar individual reported nearly five years dead quietly, politely make his way into the Armed Detective Agency's office. That immediately had all the other members on edge, reaching for weapons and Abilities alike and making a defensive, protective formation in front of Dazai, who was still not well enough to fight, and Ranpo. Atsushi in particular looked ready to tear anyone apart for the sake of his mentor. Kyouka, as always, was by his side, Demon Snow ready for a massacre if that is what is needed to protect her found family.
Because of the formation blocking their view, the two geniuses could not see the slightly scruffy looking redhead with steel blue eyes dressed in a short, tan coat, some dark pants and a black dress shirt with the top button undone.
"Hands in the air!" Kunikida ordered. "Kenji, check him for weapons!"
"Hai~!"
"What's in the bag?"
"Kunikida, this really isn't nec-"
"I said, what's in the bag!?" Kunikida demanded, cutting off his boss, while the newcomer just blinked, far too placid for someone facing off against a room full of Ability users. The Agency was full today, only Sigma and Katai (though he's technically a former member) not in the office.
"Do I smell curry?" Dazai suddenly asked and Ranpo grunted in agreement.
"It ... It is curry, I think?" Atsushi, who has the best nose among them, confirmed with confusion, though he didn't lose his protective stance.
"Kunikida-san, it's a tupperware of beef curry," Kenji dutifully informed as he took the stranger's bag and checked the contents.
"Kunikida, everyone," Fukuzawa said with a tired sigh. "This isn't necessary. I know this man, he's not a threat to us."
"I promise I come in peace," the stranger finally said, in a serenely calm tone and suddenly Dazai was scrambling through the crowd of his coworkers, nullifying Atsushi's and Kyouka's Abilities when they tried to stop him. He froze at the front, near Kunikida, pale and wide eyed, as he stared at the redhead who immediately smiled fondly when he spotted him. "Oh, there you are, Dazai. Long time no see."
"Dazai, stay back, we can handle this-"
"Odasaku?" Dazai's broken whisper, strangled in his throat as though the very words refused to come out lest they shatter a spell, stopped Yosano in her tracks. Everyone except the President and Ranpo turned to look at him, the latter of which was currently choking and coughing on the rumane he'd been casually drinking while the office was potentially under attack. "I-is that really y-you? T-this isn't a d-dream, r-right?"
Now everyone was stunned. They had never heard Dazai stutter before. Even while in immense pain or while he was being strangled - by Kunikida or an enemy - Dazai's cadence and velvety smooth speech, each word either sweet like poison or barbed like a bear trap ready to trap you was flawlessly delivered. To hear him stutter, to witness him sounding so unsure ... It felt like a violation. Like a crime. They should not be witnessing this; Dazai wouldn't want them to, he'd never before been ready to open up to them in such a manner as to expose true vulnerability.
It was enough of a shock for them to lower their weapons.
The visitor gave a small, sad smile, though he kept his hands in the air even though he no longer had weapons pointed at him. "Yeah. It's really me, Dazai. I'm really here. It's not a dream; you told me yours sucked, remember?"
The brunet gasped like it was the first breath of air he'd taken in his life. "I-it's really you ... " Then he flung himself forward, both hands reaching up to touch the other's face, holding his head like he was trying to study him. A second, two, three, ten ... Nothing happened. Suddenly, Dazai's face scrunched up in a way none of them had seen before. "Odasaku!" And it was the opening of floodgates as suddenly Dazai released a cry that could not possibly belong to a human in order to contain that much anguish, that much sorrow, so much desperation. It sounded like something between a frightened yet relieved cry of a child and the wail of an injured, grieving animal that had just witnessed either its lifelong mate or its only young be mauled by some other animal. It was the cry of a man who had thought he'd lost everything and a beast which had been pierced through the chest.
It was not a cry any of them could have ever associated with a man such as Dazai. It left them feeling hallowed out yet burdened with the weight of the world. It made them feel like every emotion they had ever felt in their lives was nothing but a subdued ember in comparison to the feeling they could hear in that cry that brandished itself into their hearts and minds, their very souls with hell-searing heat.
It was excruciatingly painful to hear, especially as the cries continued in the form of sobs as the red haired man wrapped his arms around their colleague. And really, Dazai has a deceptive appearance: he looks too lean, too skinny to hold any strength, but his coat hides his broad shoulders that are used to carrying a god made flesh and his long limbs hold more power than one would give him credit for, as evidenced by Sigma's stories from Meursault.
But right now, Dazai did not appear 'weak' or 'clumsy'.
No, as he shook in this - to the Agency - complete stranger's arms, the detectives all, for the first and possibly the only time, thought that Dazai Osamu looked fragile.
Not even when he'd been bedridden and covered in more bandages than ever before, not even when he'd had casts on his legs and arms too injured to hold up anything heavier than a plate or a book, not even when he'd been pale and almost blended in with the hospital sheets of his cot in his recovery room did it ever cross their minds that Dazai - former Demon Prodigy, youngest Port Mafia Executive in history, a man respected wide and far and feared even further for his intelligence, the only one who could bring singularities to a grinding halt with a single touch and the only one who could fully match Fyodor Dostoevsky malicious wit for malicious wit - was fragile.
Yet in this Odasaku's arms, clinging onto his shirt and jacket with a desperation a drowning man would hold onto a floating piece of wood, Dazai looked like a child. Not even his grandmother had been able to reduce him to this.
It hurt to watch. Hell, it was upsetting to watch. It felt surreal.
"How?" Fukuzawa managed to whisper, only the second thing he had spoken since he'd dropped and shattered his cup upon seeing this individual. "We had reports. Ranpo even confirmed it. You were dead, Oda Sakunosuke."
Now Atsushi made a strangled noise, something strange and unintelligible, but he suddenly looked like he understood and his heterochromic eyes also welled up and overflowed with tears he did not tdy to wipe away, for once.
"It's happened before," Ranpo said with a strained tone, though whether that was from his earlier coughing fit from choking on rumane or from whatever emotion was conflicted in his green eyes, it was hard to tell. "What was it? Brendette Manu?"
"Bernadette Menu," Dazai corrected, seeming to have managed to calm down with the help of the hand petting his head and carding gentle fingers through brunet curls. He gives a sobbing sort of chuckle. "Of course Oba-san wouldn't leave it be. I should have known ... I really need to let her meet the chibi, now, no matter how embarrassing she gets."
"I didn't know you still had living family," Oda says curiously and Dazai suddenly beams at his come-back-from-the-dead friend. The sudden switch from bawling his eyes out to smiling like he's solved world hunger or cancer is surprising to his colleagues, but apparently not Oda himself.
"Oh, Odasaku, you wouldn't believe how many more new stories I have to tell you! Remember when you couldn't believe me about Verlaine-san and Guivre? Wait 'til you hear about Shibusawa, Lovecraft and demon Fyodor! And I'm guessing you already met Benu-san, yes? I really need to meet her and thank her for everything. Ne, ne, Odasaku, let's go drinking! Lupin is still open, I made sure it never runs into any trouble and even Ango the bore is still alive and we even managed to marginally patch some things up! Oh, and I have the perfect place for you to live with your k-" Dazai suddenly stops himself like a train that had rammed straight into a wall, losing some of his shine. "Odasaku, I'm so sorry-"
"Actually, the kids and I already have a great place to stay, courtesy of Kiye-obasan," Oda says with a grateful smile for Dazai's consideration and ruffles his hair some more at the awed look on his face. It's going to take some getting used to that they were now practically the same age when, the last time he'd seen him, Dazai had only recently turned eighteen. He supposes it's his own fault for dying that he missed out on watching his friend become the great man Oda had always known him to be. "I'd love to go to Lupin, though, and hear all these new stories. But didn't you already deal with Shibusawa, though? I'm pretty sure Nakahara-kun blew up a whole building to get rid of him. And also ... Would you like to come see the house and the kids, later? I think they really missed you a lot. So did I."
"Y-yeah, I'd really love that," Dazai said with this genuine grin that settled so awkwardly over his face, like he hadn't made such a happy expression in far too long. It was as painful to witness as his cries earlier. "You really don't need anything? A car? A bookstore? A curry factory-"
"Easy there, Dazai," Oda chuckled while the others gawked at Dazai's offerings. "Actually, I brought you some curry. Don't worry, it's not as spicy as I like it. I heard you were having a really rough time recently and, well ... Listen, I wanted to come see you earlier, but ... The kids ... They didn't immediately settle into being alive again well. They were too afraid to go anywhere without each other in sight or without me, the slightest loud sound had them in tears, they're terrified of pretty much anyone walking up to the house, even the mailman, we all have ... terrible nightmares, to say the least ... I managed to convince them to see a therapist that Kiye-obasan arranged for us, since apparently we don't have the training to compartmentalize or just outright deal with our deaths ... Even me, and death used to be my profession," he tried to joke but Dazai looked to be close to tears again.
"Odasaku ... "
"Hey, it's been a couple of months. We're all better now, I promise. It's why I didn't immediately come see you ... We just weren't ready yet. But I heard you got injured and, well, what kind of friend would I be if I didn't visit at all. Also, I heard you finally settled that crush you had on Nakahara-kun-"
"Odasaku!" Whined the brunet, banging his forehead against the taller man's chest. He paused. "Did you tell Ango?"
"About your crush on-"
"No!"
"Oh ... Did you ... not settle things-"
"Chuuya's my partner, that's it, in every sense of the word now stop going back to that."
Oda chuckled. "Right. Uh, no, I didn't tell Ango. I figured you were the first to have the right to know, you know? It's good to hear you hashed it out with him, too, though. It would make nights at Lupin super awkward otherwise."
"You mean like the time you two kissed while utterly wasted-"
"We don't talk about that-"
"Ugh, figures all of Dazai's pretty friends are as gay as him," Yosano 'complained', tone utterly playful now that the two were apparently on a lighter topic. However, her comment brought to the two friends' attention that they were, in fact, not alone and reminded them of the presence of basically the whole Armed Detective Agency employment. "Oh, you finally noticed us, huh? Hey."
"Don't embarrass him, Yosano-sensei," Ranpo said, suddenly back to his usual cheerful self as he bounded over to Oda and Dazai. Oda obviously recognized him, though whether it was from their teen encounter or that meeting in the rain before he marched off to his death, only Oda (and possibly Ranpo) will know. And he saw it coming, of course he did, so only Odasaku wasn't surprised when Ranpo suddenly jumped and attached himself to the tall man like a candy-obsessed koala. "He's my first younger brother, after all!"
"HUH!?" The Agency, minus Fukuzawa but plus Dazai, exclaimed.
"Odasaku, you know Ranpo-san?" The former mafioso asked his fellow former mafioso.
"Yeah," Odasaku answered. "I think we met twice. Once as kids, right?" Fukuzawa and Ranpo both nodded. "The other time was right after ... the kids died." Dazai wrapped himself around Odasaku immediately at the slight waver in his voice at the memory even if they were alive and well now. "He tried to warn me not to go to Gide, but I had already made up my mind and, well-"
"You're the type that, once he's made up his mind, there's no changing it. I know," the younger of the clinging geniuses took a deep, shuddering breath. "Thank you, Ranpo-san. For trying."
"Sorry I couldn't do more," Ranpo told both of the two friends. "Akiko was out of town on a case of her own so ... "
"Yeah. Still, thanks, though."
"Hey, what are big brothers for, right? Although now I'm pissed," Ranpo hung off of Oda enough to meet his gaze. "You could have listened to me and we could have dragged you to the Agency four years ago~ And with you would have definitely, absolutely certainly come Dazai~ You've deprived me of the company of the only person with a brain like mine for two years~ That means! You have to be punished!"
"I completely agree, Ranpo-san," Dazai said in a grave tone, still holding Odasaku tight. No Longer Human nullified Flawless, rendering Oda blind to their intentions. "Do you know the best torture method, Ranpo-san?" He wiggled his fingers against the redhead's sides expertly and Oda started guaffing. Ranpo grinned evilly at his fellow genius and cackled maniacally as the two started tickling Odasaku to the ground to punish him for dying on them. Oda made hopeless pleas for help but no one wanted to interrupt their fun.
Even if he was a menace, they all prefered a mischievous Dazai over the Dazai who had cried in such a wrecked, guttural manner before.
Fukuzawa watched as even Akiko joined the torture-Oda-squad with a serene expression. "This is fine." He just took the container of curry Oda had brought and out it aside in the office kitchenette. Honestly, he was just glad to have all of his strays accounted for, at last.
00000
After nearly five minutes of non-stop tickling, the 'chaos siblings' - as they've been dubbed ever since that day Natsume visited and it was revealed how Fukuzawa saw them all - finally let up on Oda so the man could properly introduce himself to the rest of the Agency. He didn't bat an eyelash at the Tanizakis Tanizakiness, he just recommended to Kunikida to go to a bar - supposedly to Lupin - to get rid of all that stress and rigidness in his life, he wasn't intimidated by Yosano as she properly greeted him but he did show obvious respect and he patted Kenji on the head as he listened to him prattle on about cows almost endlessly with infinite patience. He was promised a proper introduction to Sigma and Katai some other time.
Dazai himself personally introduced him to Atsushi and Kyouka. He's not sure who had more tears in their eyes, Oda or Atsushi, for two completely different reasons. Atsushi, because his mentor had felt the need to personally introduce him to someone clearly so important to him to the point he had left the Port Mafia for him. Oda, because he realized Dazai had taken his words to heart, had made himself a spot in the light and endured as it burned his Mafia black soul, had been saving people and helping orphans as Oda himself had done his best to do. Kyouka just felt honored she was part of it, that Dazai had wanted to include her, because according to the 'Fukuzawa family tree', dubbed as such after the Natsume incident, Atsushi was Dazai's 'son' so for Kyouka to be treated equally as him, she, too, was Dazai's. And Kyouka was just glad to have a family again.
The Agency got along with Oda great and they even convinced the man to join part-time, even if Oda had been reluctant.
"I want to be a novelist and Kiya-obasan has already gone out of her way to arrange for a publishing company to consider my first manuscript once I finish it. I'm willing to help, of course, and be on call, but I have five kids depending on me. I can't get involved in something that will either take me away from them or take my dream away from me. Just this once, I want to be selfish."
With assurances that it was not selfishness, they easily settled him into their dynamic and then got him to tell them embarrassing Teenzai stories while Dazai sulkily ate the huge portion of curry Oda brought him. Oda mostly regaled them with stories of them teasing Ango or Dazai playing with his orphans or that one time Dazai praised Akutagawa to have the potential to be the strongest Ability user in the Port Mafia.
"What about Mr Fancy Hat?" Yosano had asked with an arched eyebrow.
"You're cruel, Yosano-sensei, comparing a man to a god," had been Dazai's reply while he was fighting Atsushi for him not to send the recording he'd made of Oda retelling that encounter during the Mimic incident. Akutagawa will go into cardiac arrest if they just spring something like that on him! Dazai's working on it, okay!
Oda even told them the whole story of the first time they met and the shenanigans Dazai had tried to get up to or dragged Oda into. That earned him a lot of respect from Kunikida and Yosano both, since they know how impossible Dazai is on bed-rest. Kunikida even made it a note to make blanket-Dazai-sushi-rolls the next time the brunet tries to get out of actually resting. Yosano also lectures Oda on his poor knowledge of poisons and poisonous things and on how indulgent he is towards Dazai.
"I can't help it," was Oda's defense. "When he looks at me like this hopefully burnt black cat that's finally started trusting a human again, I just want to let him have whatever. Besides, aggressive compliance actually had him compliant, too. Well, except the knife-tea kettle-cop incident."
"You knocked me out," pouted Dazai at the reminder. "Though I forgave you when I saw you hauling Akutagawa-kun around like a sack of potatoes two years later. That was funny."
"I'm sorry, you did what with who?" Atsushi asked with wide, awed eyes.
"He was Dazai's subordinate and he needed help," was all the recently-reincarnated former mafioso said.
"Wait, I just realized something," an aghast Dazai exclaimed while Atsushi begged Oda to teach him his ways with Kyouka and Kunikida both taking notes in the background. "Odasaku's alive, which means I no longer have a reason to be pissed at Mori-san. Which means I'll have to start acting 'civil' towards him again~" Whined the brunet, tugging at his hair in despair. "Wait, I also realized another thing! Odasaku's thankfully no longer dead, so I don't have to visit his grave, but what the hell am I going to do on my days off or just before I pull a dangerous plan and/or disappearing act!?"
"Well, you could go drinking with me and Ango, or babysit the kids, or act like an editor for my books, eventually. Or you can just go on dates with Nakahara-kun, or take your kids out-" Both Atsushi and Kyouka nearly died of embarrassment but neither denied the allegations. "Or you can visit Verlaine-san, or that Sigma-kun. Or, you know, your grandmother. Hell, you could write a book of your own. Or we could prank Ango-"
"I'll say yes to that last one!"
"You're a menace," Yosano said fondly as she reached over to mess up his hair before retreating to Ranpo's desk and accepting the offered candies from her best friend and apparently Fukuzawa-wise-older-brother.
"With his list so full of new things to do, Nakahara-san will just be happy he doesn't have time for any more suicide attempts," huffed the man's current work partner.
And, well, he wasn't wrong.
00000
"Kousuke, Katsumi, Yuu, Shinji, Sakura, I'm home! And I brought along someone I think all of you would like to see!" Oda called loudly but gently as he led Dazai into the seaside house Kiye had gifted him with for him and his orphans. Five sets of little feet ran to the front door from various directions of the house before excited gasps met the two adults.
"Dazai-nii!" Came the cheer as Dazai was barreled over in a tackle group hug. Oda did nothing to stop his friend's fall, even though he should have probably softened it for Dazai somehow, but he didn't want to ruin their fun. Because while the kids clamoured all over him, their most frequent visitor, AKA the infamous Denim Prodigy, Dazai was barely holding himself back from sobbing like a child for the second time that day.
It was understandable. After all, the four boys and one girl were the only kids Dazai had known in his youth who weren't afraid of him. They were the only ones who referred to him as 'onii-san'. And after learning about how his cousins and other relatives treated him before he'd fled the Tsushima family, it made sense how he always used to stare at the kids in awe that they were so welcoming to him. It had been overwhelming for him, the Dazai that was feared more than any monster that may lurk in the dark.
Moreover he was also overwhelmed by how innocent the kids were compared to himself. Oda understood that; in the beginning, and since their resurrection, he'd felt the same way, the blood still too fresh on his hands, making him feel unworthy to even look at those sweet kids, let alone touch them. With Dazai, it had been easy; there was no mistaking the sin and shadows clinging to him, even today, when he's on the side of good and doing his best not to be the person he used to be in the Mafia. But these five kids, despite the way they lost their parents, they were still innocent.
When Odasaku had introduced his young friend to his charges, he'd had two goals. One, the kids needed the protection of someone powerful, someone other than Oda himself. Two, he had hoped the kids would have a positive effect on Dazai.
There was no question whether he'd reintroduce them after their resurrection. Again, he had two reasons for it. One, the kids needed to know their infallible Dazai-nii will be there for them again. Two, Dazai needed to see them, to see for himself that they were alive.
The grief that hand clung onto Dazai since the moment he'd seen him was almost gone now. Something a lot like hope had replaced it. This won't be enough to heal Dazai ...
"Hey, old man! Can Dazai-nii stay for a sleepover?" Kousuke asked with a huge grin on his face, throwing Oda a peace sign with Katsumi as his backup while Yuu, Shinji and Sakura still clung onto Dazai.
The brunet actually dared look at him for permission.
Oda boinked the two boys and the younger man over the head. "That's a stupid question, of course he can stay. He's part of this family, too, right?"
"Yeah!" The kids cheered and Dazai suddenly had this broken yet utterly beautiful smile on his face that made Oda want to wrap him up in the softest blankets and protect him from the world forever.
"Let me just tell the chibi I won't be going home tonight."
The kids cheered and Odasaku grinned.
... but it sure will help the process.
OWARI
