On 27 April 2023, Ash Ketchum and his girlfriend Misty Waterflower were listening to the radio in their house in New Bark Town, a small town in Johto.

DJ Mary had sad news for the Radio Goldenrod listener. 'Legendary talk show host Jerry Springer passed away at the age of 79. Springer was suffering from pancreatic cancer. He rose to fame in the nineties with his talk show The Jerry Springer Show.'

'Aww, that's so sad!' Ash said. He was 36 now and always enjoyed watching the show while spending the night at a Pokemon Centre and when visiting his mother.

'Yeah, that show is just as legendary as Suicune and Celebi,' Misty said. 'Do you remember that episode about the man who said that his Ponyta was his wife?'

'Pikapi!' Pikachu laughed. How could humans be so fucked up?

'That was fucking funny,' Ash laughed. 'And do you remember that cat fight between Sinnoh Gym Leaders Maylene and Candice, because Maylene cheated on Candice and slept with Officer Jenny?'

'Oh my fucking god, that was hilarious,' Misty giggled. 'And of course Brock, you and I have been on that show.'

'Hey, that reminds me... We have some old VHS tapes with the episodes in which we were involved! My mum videotaped those back in the 90s, 00s and 10s!'

And so, Ash went upstairs to find the videos. Five minutes later, he came back with a few VHS tapes and inserted those in the VHS player, so he could watch those with Misty.

'Ash, let's watch on the episode in which you appeared on the show. You know, the one about your mum and Professor Oak.'


2009 - 'Everyone else knows, aside from Ash'

'JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!' the audience chanted, while talk show host Jerry Springer entered the stage in the television studio.

'Hello, welcome to the show. Today, we have a guest who never told her 22-year-old son that she has been dating one of her son's friends for more than ten years! Please welcome Delia Ketchum from Pallet Town!'

'Hi Jerry,' Delia said.

'Hi Delia. You are in a relationship with your neighbour, but your son doesn't know about that. But everybody else does, right?' Jerry Springer asked.

'Yes, Jerry,' Delia acknowledged. 'My son Ash has always been dense when it comes to romance and sex. I never gave him sexual education, since he didn't seem ready for it. He is madly in love with his friend Misty, but he is too dense to understand how he feels about her. He just doesn't understand these things. So I never really knew how to tell him that I am dating Samuel, who is like a friend and mentor to him. Everybody knows. My family, my friends, Ash's friends... Ash is the only person who doesn't know yet. He still thinks that Samuel and I are just friends.'

'But your son is 22. Don't you think he needs to know about love and sex?' Jerry asked.

'Well, I told Ash's friend Brock to talk to him about love and sex whenever Ash seems ready. But Brock hasn't done so yet.'

'Yeah, but still... How long have you been hiding your relationship from him?'

'Well, Samuel and I had sex for the first time when we went to Indigo Plateau to support Ash in the Kanto League. Then, two years later, we got into a relationship, so we have been together for ten years now.'

'And Ash never noticed that you and Samuel might be more than just friends?' Jerry asked.

'No. We tried to drop some subtle hints a few times. I said that we were more than friends, but he thought that we were super close best friends. And when we hugged and kissed in front of him, he just thought that we were really close friends.'

'Oh wow, he's not very bright,' Jerry laughed.

'Well, he's a great Pokemon trainer,' Delia said. 'But yeah, he is pretty dense.'

'And your boyfriend Samuel... He's famous, right?'

'Yes, he is,' Delia acknowledged. 'He is better known as the famous Professor Oak. He gave Ash his first Pokemon, a Pikachu, and is one of Ash's best friends. He is like a mentor for Ash and often gives him advice.'

'So Ash talked to Professor Oak for years without knowing that the professor was shagging his mother,' Jerry teased. 'Let's bring him out here. Here is Samuel Oak!'

The professor walked through a door and entered the stage in the television studio. While the audience chanted 'JERRY, JERRY, JERRY', the professor wondered what he was doing here. He never thought that he would end up on the Jerry Springer show, but here he was, in the studio of his favourite trash television talk show. He often mocked the television show when talking to fellow professors like Professor Elm, but Samuel Oak secretly loved watching the Jerry Springer show. It was his favourite guilty pleasure.

'Hello Jerry,' the professor said.

'Hello, Professor. I heard that you have a stepson who doesn't know that he is your stepson,' Jerry said.

'Yeah, Delia and I never managed to tell him. We tried to hint at it a few times, but he's pretty dense.'

'Well, when are you and Delia planning on telling him?' Jerry asked.

'We decided to come on the show to tell him today, right here, right now,' Delia answered.

'That's great,' Jerry said. 'Because here he is. Let's give a warm welcome to Ash Ketchum!'

While the audience chanted Jerry's name, the young Pokemon Trainer from Pallet Town entered the studio, while his Pikachu sat on his shoulder as usual.

'Hi Ash,' Jerry said. 'Your mother has something to tell you.'

'Hi mum! Hi Professor!' Ash said.

'Ash, are you wearing clean underwear?' Delia asked her son, much to the audience's laughter and her son's embarrassment.

'Yes, I am,' the little boy in a young adult's body lied. 'Pikachu is my witness.'

'Pikapi!' the Pokemon giggled, telling Delia that Ash wore dirty underpants as usual.

'Anyways, mum, why did you bring me here? And why is Professor Oak here?' Ash asked.

'Well, Ash, I should've told you this before, but...' Delia stuttered.

'But what, mum?' Ash asked.

'Well, you know that Professor Oak and I have always gotten along very well,' Delia said. 'So well that we love to hug each other.'

'Oh, so you decided to be close friends?' Ash asked. 'That's not a big revelation that needs to be revealed to me on television. I already knew that you two are close friends. I'm not a dense little kid who can't understand that.'

'Sure you're not,' Jerry teased.

'Well, we're more than that,' Delia said.

'So you and Professor Oak decided to be super super super close best friends?' Ash asked.

'Not exactly,' Delia said. 'He is my boyfriend. We have been dating for the past ten years. Everyone knows this. Misty knows. Brock knows. Gary knows. Tracey knows. And now, ten years later, you know the truth as well.'

'Dating? WHAT?' Ash screamed. 'I had no idea!'

'Of course you didn't,' Jerry teased.

'How was I supposed to know?' Ash asked.

'Well, your mother and I hugged and kissed in your presence,' Professor Oak said. 'We were hoping that you would've gotten the message at some point.'

'I never noticed,' Ash said. Then, he looked at his mother. 'Mum, why didn't you just tell me?'

'Well, you didn't seem ready. You never showed even the slightest sign of even remotely understanding romance and sex. You were so dense that you weren't even ready for sexual education. So I never really found the right moment to tell you that Professor Oak is my boyfriend,' Delia admitted.

'Wait,' Professor Oak said. 'Delia, you said that I am your boyfriend. But I would like to be even more than your boyfriend.'

'What do you mean?' Delia asked. She was nowhere as dense as her son, but the dense gene ran in the Ketchum family.

Professor Oak grabbed a ring from the pocket of his lab coat and went down on his knee. 'Delia, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?'

'Yes, Samuel! Yes, I will!' Delia cried from happiness.

'Congratulations!' Jerry said. 'You two seem like a very nice couple!'

'JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!' the audience chanted.

'Aww, isn't this romantic?' Jerry said to the audience. 'I bet that everyone fantasizes about proposing on my stupid little trashy show!'

'Well, if I'm having a stepfather, I'm happy that it's Professor Oak. He is awesome!' Ash said.

'Awesome indeed,' Jerry said. 'The man is 68 and he's marrying a forty-year-old woman who looks like she hasn't even turned thirty yet. I bet that many men in the audience must be jealous!'

'Yes, I am!' a young man in the audience shouted. It was Ash's perverted friend Brock.

Jerry Springer walked up to Brock to hand him the microphone. 'Mrs. Ketchum is hot! Professor Oak, you are a lucky guy!'

'Thank you, Brock!' the professor laughed.

'Well, this marriage might cause some strange family dynamics,' Jerry said. 'Professor, I've heard that you have a grandson, Gary. He is around Delia's son's age and has always been Ash's rival. Let's bring him out. Here is Gary Motherfucking Oak!'

While Gary entered the television studio, the audience chanted his name. 'GARY! GARY! GARY! GARY! GARY! GARY!'

The young man immediately walked up to Ash and decided to taunt his old rival. 'My grandpa is sleeping with your hot mum!'

Ash hated being taunted by Gary. He had to come up with a comeback quickly. Yes, he got it! 'Yeah, and you're going to have to call me Uncle Ash from now on!'

'That does it!' Gary shouted. The young man kicked Ash in the balls. Ash fought back by punching his nemesis on his cheek, making two bloody teeth fall out of Gary's mouth. Then, Jerry Springer's Chikorita, the security guard of the show, decided to intervene with his Vine Whip and pulled Ash away from Gary.

'Fuck you, Uncle Ash!' Gary shouted. ''When I'm an old man like my grandfather is now, I will be so hot that I can seduce younger women, just like my grandfather did. Meanwhile, no woman will ever shag you. Aside from Misty, but she is ugly. And she is fucking crazy, just like you. You two would be a perfect couple! And of course she will be the man in the relationship when you two end up together!'

'Shag? What is shagging?' Ash asked.

'You are so fucking stupid, Ash!' Gary laughed.

'I'm not stupid, you fucking cunt!'

'Yes, you are! You don't even know what shagging means, you little twat!'

While the audience screamed 'JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!', Ash tried to kick Gary in the nuts, but Jerry's Chikorita managed to intervene just in time, ensuring that Gary's testicles didn't get shattered.'

'CHIKO! CHIKO! CHIKO! CHIKO!' the audience chanted.

'Chiko!' the little Grass Pokemon squealed. Then, he jumped into Jerry Springer's arms and enjoyed a hug from his trainer.

Then, Jerry walked up to Ash. 'I get that you and Gary aren't exactly best friends, but you two are going to be part of one blended family now. Can you two at least try to be civil and try to get along? You don't have to like each other, but you can't fight like this during your mother's wedding.'

'Okay, I'll try to be kind to that arsehole,' Ash grumbled.

'And Gary, can you please try to be civil with Ash when you are around your grandfather and your stepgrandmother? You can argue and hate each other all you want when you two are alone, but please don't behave like you are behaving today during your grandfather's wedding.'

'I promise, Jerry. I'll be nice to that stupid kid,' Gary said.

Then, Jerry addressed the audience for his final thoughts. 'Well, blended families aren't always easy to deal with. But that's okay. You don't have to be each other's best friends. But please, try to be civil at the moments when you really need to be civil.'

After talking about the way Ash and Gary made a fool of themselves today, Jerry pointed out a mistake Delia made. 'I understand that it's difficult to give your child sexual education. It's awkward. However, you really need to teach your children about the Pidgeotto and the Beedrill at some point. Otherwise, you will end up with a 22-year-old adult child who doesn't know what shagging means and who doesn't realise that the man who openly hugs and kisses their mother might be more than just their mother's friend. Parents, even though it can be uncomfortable to do so, you must teach your children about love and sex! Until next time, take care of yourself and each other.'