Her frame, cuddling in his arms, his eyes upon her eyes, green on blue, his lips caressing her skin, their hands clutched tightly together, the smell of her enveloping him into a state of splendid stupor, light lavender, the scent of her favorite perfume, melded with the smell of her skin. He inhaled his surroundings, basking in the sweet scent of the past. Tussling between euphoria and melancholic dread, he remained the prisoner of his own thoughts.

"You know you regret leaving me, don't lie Albus…" A murmuring voice has invaded his mind, leaving little room for rebuttal left, right or centre. It was suffocating his sense of reason.

"Have I ever left you?" He whispered quietly. "After all, I'm still here, you're still here. Here, in my mind, where things are exactly the way we would have wanted…"

"The way you would have wanted," she corrected him as she sunk her teeth into his neck, hands reaching further down his body. He moaned in response. "I… I wanted something bigger for us! Us!"

The scene around them shifted and all of a sudden, they were no longer in their bed sheets. The sound of drums pounding, trumpets blasting, voices screeching. And there they were, on top of it all, watching over all of it from their thrones. His hand on her hand; their lips were locked too. Voices begging them, begging them to be spared. For a moment he felt almost gleeful, as if a bestial urge had been awakened, he knew exactly what to do, raising his wand — no. He waved his hand and they vanished.

They were now alone in the dark, the sole objects of illumination.

"If only I could forget about you-"

"Don't lie to me Albus! This is what you would have wanted! This is what we would have wanted! We could have had the whole world to us, we could have been together we could have started a family-"

Two children, a boy and a girl, both dark haired and blue-eyed, flash before his eyes, grinning cheekily. They seemed to be calling to him.

"- we could have been happy! You could have been happy-"

"Enough!" He yelled as he woke up panting again, drenched in sweat.

It was all too much, all too repetitive. Four years. It had been four years and he still can't forget it all. Always her, always them. The shame, the shame!

"Fucking bitch…" He murmured as he shaved in front of the bathroom mirror. Still lean and fit, honed by years of constant training and action, he wasn't all that bad superficially. Yet upon closer inspection, he was pale and pathetic, with his blood-shot eyes and dark circles. Like a ghost: teetering between the realm of life and death. He sighed; he might as well have been a ghost. One of the most elusive figures in the Wizarding World right now, he made himself known only when he wished to. (Anyone else who crossed his path was disposed with… in a friendly manner that involved memory erasure, of course… He was in no mood to disturb his already precarious state of being.) He had been highly sought after, by Aurors, rich aristocrats, shady organizations alike. Standing on no one's side, however, he was able to maximize his earnings, his life based on contract after contract. There was something hedonistically exciting about it.

Only yesterday, he had helped a wealthy Chinese businessman eliminate hitmen sent by his rivals. Their bodies were clinically dissolved with the correct potion, never to be seen or heard again. Many Galleons followed, as well as goodwill. The man had even offered him his own pick of 'dancers' but Albus Severus Potter had politely declined.

He had to himself a day of rest, in theory — and yet he knew that for men like him, rest was a fantasy, dangling seductively in front of him, always inching away as he seemingly drew closer.

"Another day, another dawn…" The words sounded almost like a joke as he headed straight into the shower. It would never cleanse him the way he wished it would.

~X~

"Merlin's beard! I still can't fathom why anyone of sound mind, especially you, would even entertain the idea of joining the Aurors..." James sighed as he chewed another toffee sweet from the giant tub on the table. He was a doting parent with a penchant for sweets anyway and after Nigel and Andromeda's incessant begging, he figured it was time to put an end to Claire anti-sugar reign of terror among the household. "You know what it does to people, look at what it did to Albus... Insane..." His face was a curious amalgamation of a man satisfied by the fleeting comfort of toffee and a brother treading on a past of painful memories. "I still..."

"James, I've told you many times, I've made my decision. There was nothing that you or father or anyone could have done to deter me," Lily interjected her brother resolutely, aiming to suffocate any hope of a last-minute u-turn from her brother. "I start tomorrow."

"But switching from a well-paid, stable, safe job at St. Mungo's? —"

"There must always be a Potter at the Auror's—"

"Hey, dad's still got a few years in him—"

"And what after that?! Who will be there to—"

"Lily, I don't want to presume I know better—"

"You're going to have to try harder to convey that—"

"—But you're still young, your whole life is ahead of you. There's still time to—"

"I'm 30 years old James — hardly the youngest person in the world, but with a reasonable future ahead of me, one that I would like to dictate myself. James, I've spent the past ten years treating people afflicted by vicious curses and evil magic, I've watched my very own brother — your brother too — succumb to the dark, I've lost friends and lovers alike. And I'm done loitering amongst the halls of St. Mungo's. It simply isn't the life for me... I feel a visceral need to be out there, to do something. Surely, you would have done the same if, if you're not a father yourself — and in need to the bountiful sort of income provided by a lifeless, soulless career in banking." Lily smirked as she witnessed James' visible irritation. He appeared resigned by her resolve. "I know it won't be easy, if the training is any indication. I don't need you to lecture me about it. All I ask is that you understand and respect my decision."

"You know Lily, I don't doubt your capabilities. But the thing about older brothers is that they never stop worrying about their baby siblings," James uttered with a small grimace. "It's instinctual."

He reached out and patted her head in a supremely patronizing manner designed to inflict maximum annoyance. His lips curved into a mischievous grin as she responded accordingly.

"Stopppp — I thought we were done with such childish antics!" Lily shouted a little too loudly.

"JAMES ARE YOU BEING A PRICK AGAIN?!" Claire Potter bellowed all the way from the nursery. She had been looking after their 6-month old twins Annabelle and Lucas, neither of whom seemed capable of following a coherent sleep schedule. Hence the enhanced grumpiness.

"It's nothing Claire! Just sibling things!" He defended himself as Claire strode out into the common room.

"Is he bothering you?" Claire asked.

"Only by being himself," Lily remarked wryly.

"Oh I can sympathize. Honey, as per what we concurred before, I'm going back to work tomorrow and you will take a 6-month break to look after the kids. No, don't make that face, we agreed to this 10 years ago remember? We agreed to have three kids and divide the parenting evenly. Don't make that face."

"I know, I know, I know, that's why I'm er... Okay technically, we've got four of them, which means double the workload for me! I know it's not exactly your fault that there's two instead of one on our third try but—"

"Don't even use that as an excuse!"

"I know, I know, I know. By the way, do you have any idea where Andromeda's crayons are? She was crying over them earlier... I only managed to placate her by bringing her to Rose for a play date with Terrence — don't look at me like that Claire! It makes me feel like I'm actually guilty—"

"You know, Mimsy would be helping you, right? There's always my mom, my dad, your mom, your grandparents. Rose has volunteered to accommodate you from time to time when she's off work. You'll survive."

"Woe is me why did I ever agree to this?"

"I love you," Claire said before pecking him on the forehead.

"I'm home!" A voice piped outside as someone began banging on the door vigorously.

"Isn't it little Nigel? Come to Auntie!" Lily lifted Nigel up into her arms, put him down and began pinching his cheeks.

"Ow." Nigel pouted, exasperated by the coddling. "Mum, dad, I accidentally bought Andie's crayons with me when I was at Jared's house. They're lame."

"Nigel, don't say that!" Claire shook her head.

"I've been looking for them for ages! Thank Merlin!" James gasped in relief.

"Oops."

"Dad you suck," Nigel remarked and stuck his tongue out.

"Hey! —"

Lily burst out laughing. "Early teenage rebellion am I right?"

"I'm almost eleven!" Nigel said.

"Where's the teen in that?"

"Whatever, I'm almost old enough for Hogwarts!" Nigel grinned as he grabbed a handful of candy from the table.

In the midst of this playful annoyance, James glanced at his oldest son wistfully. It was about time that Nigel received his Hogwarts letter and embarked on another milestone in life. He had been at loggerheads with his wife as to which house their son would get sorted in. Claire insisted that her's — Slytherin — would suit mischievous little Nigel perfectly, while he emphasized the kid's bravado and gallantry around friends, as well as the Potter and Weasley family's long-standing history on producing good Gryffindor stock. (None of them mentioned his brother. It was proper etiquette.)

It was impossible to placate her brother, Lily understood that. In truth, she really did sympathize with his sentiments. He already lost one sibling; he did not want to lose another. Her parents too, were slightly apprehensive when she announced the decision. Harry Potter himself gave nominal approval, but it was tempered with lukewarm skepticism. Still, she passed the interview and qualifying exams with flying colours. With the Auror department in need of individuals possessing a medical background, there was really no reason for them to turn her down.

There were times in life when one had to bear with family members not being 100% on board with what you are doing. Lily can take that. She knew this was exactly what she wanted.

And yet when gazing at the vivacity around her, the sound of her nephew running around with glee, Claire laughing as she slapped James playfully, a tinge of envy brushed past Lily's mind. A stable, normal family life — it seemed that James was the only one of the three siblings that managed it.

~X~

Recalling it was like recalling the memory of a ghost.

It was early in the morning and his stomach was rumbling. But that wasn't what prompted him to leave his blankets. It was the sound of footsteps in the hallway. Still drowsy from his early slumber, Nigel trudged towards the source, prickling with curiosity. His Uncle was getting ready to leave, surreptitiously, without bidding any of them goodbye. Nowadays, it occurred to Nigel that the man must have been hiding something important (or something murky), but back then all that struck him was curiosity.

Albus was his favourite - and only - uncle who took him out to ice cream, who constantly riled dad with jokes, who drew awe and admiration amongst his colleagues, who never bored Nigel with a single mundane story, who doted on him by demonstrating fun spells, who seemed to unveil a whole new enigmatic world before him...

Anyhow, his father refused disclose any details of what transpired afterwards, though Nigel suspected things did not end well. For a while, simply mentioning 'Uncle Alby' drew dark looks from mother and father, moments of pain and retrospection emanating an ambience so uncomfortable that Nigel simply learned to stop saying that name altogether. Soon, life went on as it always did, his sister was born, his cousin was born, he went to kindergarten and then primary school, he had his first fight and then his first 'kiss' in a sandpit and it was as if nothing had happened at all.

No more pictures, no more talk of the name in any family scenario (especially not in front of grandpa Harry) - it was as if the man did not exist. As he began the usual routine of hugging every single other member of his ginormous family on Platform 9 and 3/4, Nigel couldn't help but wonder.

And yet, all this time, he knew his uncle was out there somewhere in the wide wide world. Albus had confirmed it when they last saw each other, hadn't he?

There were times small, flickering guilty sentiments would flare within him, when he wished his uncle would have taken him along. They could traverse jungles, deserts, safaris and megacities together. It would certainly be more preferable than school, where the bleak bleating of some monotonous voice made Nigel want to explode. His parents had said Hogwarts, where he would finally get to learn proper magic, would be much better, but he wasn't 100% convinced.

Couldn't Uncle Albus simply teach him magic instead? Nigel pondered as he waved goodbye to his parents, stepping onto the Hogwarts Express. Just what did the future have in stall for him?

~X~

Morrison Wilders' jaw dropped when he saw his group leader enter the room. "No FUCKING way... you really did end up in the Auror department!"

"… Yes. Name's Neil Nott. From now on I'll be the leading Auror for your unit." The guy — with his short, curly brown hair, brown eyes and mildly presumptuous, know-it-all voice — reached out his hand. Morrison took it.

"I mean, I always thought you would end up being a professional Quidditch player. I mean, you were accepted by Puddlemore United — people thought you were kidding when you went to join the Aurors-"

"Yeah, yeah, I get that a lot. What can I say, some things just happen," Neil answered vexedly, drily, striving to not roll his eyes. He seemed used to this kind of remark.

"Well I'd say being a Seeker for Puddlemore United would be infinitely more cooler. Just saying, I have a friend whose on the professional Quidditch route and they get lit parties all the time-"

"As they say, Morrison — is your name Morrison? — it's not about the glitz and the glam here. We Aurors exist to serve the public good. Now—"

"No FUCKING way!"

"Hey! What-" Neil's eyebrows twitched. He was about to protest about being interrupted before he realized what Morrison's (short) attention was directed at.

"Sup, my name's Lily. Lily Luna Potter. Pleased to meet you guys. I'm new."

"Welcome to our team Lily," Neil greeted her with another handshake. "I believe we may have met before. You know, when we totally kicked Gryffindor's ass in Quidditch."

"Right, right, you're the guy that could've gotten into Puddlemore. I remember. Oh, and your brother knew my brother."

"Mhm…" The atmosphere suddenly turned awkward around them. Everyone knew what happened to Lily's brother — Albus Severus Potter, the once golden boy who was sure to follow his father's footsteps in becoming an accomplished Auror, the man in the midst of the prominent and yet obscure incident 4 years ago, when the nascent Sons of Walpurgis were nipped in the bud, the world's most wanted wizard.

"My name is Morrison Wilders," Morrison decided to interrupt the silence. "I'm 19 so a bit of a youngster. Went to Hogwarts, Ravenclaw, specialized in Ancient Runes, Arithmancy and History of Magic. I also have a twin brother who is a lawyer and a twat."

"Cool," Neil said, sounding dismissively amused.

There was a polite knock on the door and a tall, skinny, gangly guy with sandy hair walked in. He smiled reservedly: "Hi guys, I'm Tobias." Everyone waited for the ensuing introduction, only to be greeted by silence.

Well that was awkward,Morrison muttered to himself.

~X~

Cynthia was late, frantically running through the corridors in an attempt to find the correct meeting room. It would be embarrassing if she were the last one to enter the room. Technically speaking, she was the one with the most experience in the team, even if she wasn't the most senior figure — which was why the prospect of—

"You're late, Cynthia," an annoying voice sounded. "Then again, it doesn't matter in this case. We were just making our introductions. I'm Neil Nott, I'll be your team leader."

"Pleased to meet you," she said, nodding curtly.

"And?" That annoying voice pressed for more. "Is there anything else you'd like to tell us? Interests? Favorite food? What you've been up to the past few years-"

"I was on probation."

"Right…"