'Wow, Lisia sure loves Jerry's cock,' Ash laughed.

'Well, during that episode, we saw that he's got a big one,' Misty said. 'But yours is bigger and hotter.'

'PIKA PIKA!' Pikachu giggled.

'Hey, I know another crazy episode,' Ash said. He put a tape in the VHS player.


2008 - 'I don't know which one to pick'

'JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!' the audience chanted, while the talk show host entered the stage in the television studio.

'Hello, welcome to the show. Our next guest is torn between two men. Please welcome Harley to the show,' Jerry said.

'Hi Jerry,' Harley said.

'Why are you here?' Jerry asked.

'Hello? Because I'm the sexiest gay guy on the planet!' Harley bragged.

Jerry burst out in laughter. 'Sure you are, but what brings you here?'

Harley made a stereotypical gay hand gesture. 'I am in love with two guys and I don't know which one to pick. It's a long story.'

'Well, tell us the long story.'

'I have this thing where I keep switching between hot bad boys and guys who are kind, but unable to please me sexually. Like, years ago, I dated Crasher Wake. The sex was amazing, but he was a total dick to me. A few weeks after that, I was in a relationship with Steven, the former champion of Hoenn, who was being very nice to me. But I wasn't really that interested in him. So I cheated on him with Will, an Elite Four member from Johto. He became my next boyfriend. He has such a great sixpack! Sadly, he was abusive, so I left him. Then, I dated Burgh, a Gym Leader from Unova. Three years ago, he broke up with me when he realised that he couldn't be the dominant guy that I was looking for.'

'That is years ago. So why are you here now?' Jerry asked.

'Two years ago, a few days after I broke up with Todd Snap, my very kind ex-boyfriend who couldn't satisfy me sexually, I met this hot macho guy at The White Swallow, a bathhouse for gay men. Giovanni is so sexy! No one can pound my tight little arse like he can. However, he is a meanie! He doesn't care about my feelings. He only cares about sex. When I want to talk, he ignores me and tries to shag me. That would be fine if he was a fuckbuddy or if we had a hookup, but not when he is in a relationship with me,' Harley said. 'So a few months ago, I dumped him.'

'And who is the other guy?' Jerry asked.

'Well, a week after breaking up with Giovanni, I went to the Studcat Theatre, an adult movie theatre for gays. I went there to see Fisting Firemen 9 and saw this cute guy named Bugsy sitting in the front row. He was beating off to the hot main character played by Wallace, so I offered Bugsy a handjob. After releasing his beautiful cum in my right hand, he rewarded me with a blowjob. When the movie was over, I took him to my place and let him stick his torch in my bum. Then, we just talked. We got along really well. And before we went to sleep, he pounded my arse again.'

'I did not need to know those details.'

'But I want you and the audience to know every hot detail! Anyways, the next day, we made our relationship Facebook official.'

'That's quick,' Jerry said.

'Well, we both felt a connection. We just felt like it was meant to be!' Harley answered.

'How are you and Bugsy doing now?' Jerry asked.

'Not great, Jerry. Not great,' Harley muttered.

'Well, if everything was going well, you wouldn't be on this show,' Jerry joked.

'JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!' the audience chanted.

'Anyways, what's wrong?' Jerry asked.

'Bugsy is nice. He's really nice. We get along really well,' Harley said. 'Bugsy is the kindest, sweetest boyfriend I've ever had. When Bugsy moved in with me, Giovanni visited me and said that Bugsy is a weak pussy. Then, he asked me to get back together with him, but I told him that I was happy with Bugsy.'

'Well, that sounds like you and Bugsy are happy together. So what went wrong?' Jerry asked.

'Well, the sex just isn't that great. Bugsy can't pound my arse like Giovanni can. One time, he tried to be more naughty in bed. He tried to dominate me. When it didn't turn me on, he wondered why and said that I love being dominated. But yeah, I loved it when Giovanni did that. I am submissive. I need a manly bloke who can dominate me. Bugsy is just not dominant enough! When he tries to do the things Giovanni did to me, it just feels forced.'

'Do you still have feelings for Giovanni?' Jerry asked.

'Yes, I do,' Harley admitted. 'I will always have some feelings for Giovanni. But he isn't right for me. He doesn't respect me. All he cared about was sex. He was the best lover I ever had, but the worst partner I ever had. Bugsy is a much better partner for me.'

'Does your sexual attraction towards Giovanni get in the way of your relationship with Bugsy?'

Harley made the stereotypical gay hand gesture again. 'Hello? Of course it does! I can't get Giovanni out of my head! When Bugsy and I spooned and fell asleep, I often fantasised about getting fucked by Giovanni. One time, when Bugsy and I went to sleep, I misspoke and accidentally said 'good night, Giovanni.' It was so awkward!'

'Did you ever see Giovanni again after he tried to win you back?'

'Yes. One day, I told Bugsy that I was just going for a walk. But I actually went to see Giovanni for closure. I felt like I needed to talk to him one last time and say goodbye, so I could put him out of my head, move on and focus on Bugsy.'

'So how did that conversation go?'

'When I got on the couch with Giovanni, he gave me a cocktail. Then, I had another cocktail. And another one. The next morning, I woke up next to him. When I realised what happened, he asked me if we were back together. I told him that I didn't know what to do.'

'Did you feel bad about cheating on your boyfriend?'

'Hello? Of course I felt bad! Bugsy didn't deserve to get cheated on. He's such a sweet guy!'

'Does Bugsy know what happened?'

'When I got home, he asked me if I was at Giovanni's place last night. I told Bugsy what happened.'

'How did he react?'

'He said that he understood that I still had feelings for Giovanni and forgave me. He was sad about what I did, but he wasn't angry at all. But I wasn't happy. It was so unattractive that Bugsy was being such a pussy about this! He should have told me that he would break my legs if I ever saw Giovanni again, or that he was going to kick Giovanni's ass! Bugsy is the best thing that ever happened to me, but for some reason, I just can't accept that. He is just too nice for me!'

'So what are you going to do now?' Jerry asked.'

'I don't know! I'm still together with Bugsy. He is such a sweet guy! But sexually, I long for Giovanni's cock.' Harley said. 'It's like there's one guy who's horrible to me, but I'm totally sexually attracted to him. And then one guy who's really nice to me, but I'm not sexually attracted to him at all.'

'Well, Giovanni has been watching backstage, so he heard all this,' Jerry said. 'Here is Giovanni!'

The muscular mobster boss entered the television studio and walked up to the Pokemon Coordinator from Slateport City. When he saw his ex-boyfriend, he immediately felt that something was growing between his legs. Giovanni did not even have to do anything.

'Harley, darling!' Giovanni screamed. Team Rocket's boss wrapped his arms around his ex-boyfriend and jammed his tongue down the purple-haired man's throat.

'Oh, Giovanni! You are just so hot!' Harley moaned.

'Well, if that's how you feel, you should get back together with me,' Giovanni said. 'Bugsy is boring!'

'I just don't know!' Harley shouted. 'You and I had the best sex I ever had, but you've emotionally neglected me during our relationship. Bugsy treats me well. He's stable. Having stability in your life is a good thing.'

'Maybe for some people,' Giovanni said. 'But I know you, Harley. You like excitement. And you know that he can't pound your ass like I can!'

Jerry walked up to Team Rocket's boss. 'Welcome to the show, Giovanni. Harley said that you only care about sex and that you are not a good partner. How do you feel about that?'

Giovanni, who sat next to his ex-boyfriend, put his hand on Harley's leg while answering Jerry's question. 'That's rubbish. I always took care of Harley's emotional needs. When his father died, he wanted to talk. He wanted to cry. So I tried to comfort him by pounding his nice butt. The day before his dad's funeral, he wasn't in the mood. But when I kept asking him to get it on, he eventually relented. And he came.'

'Well, that's the problem,' Jerry said. 'Harley needed emotional support. He needed to talk to you about what he was going through. He needed a hug. An arm wrapped around him. It wasn't the right time for a cock in his arse.'

'But sex is a good way to comfort someone who feels sad,' Giovanni said.

'Jerry is right. As much as I love sex and as hot as it was, what I really needed was someone to talk to. But all you could think about was sex!' Harley yelled.

'So you're going to stay with Bugsy? You're not going to get back together with Giovanni?' Jerry asked his purple-haired guest.

'I'm not sure,' Harley said. 'Bugsy is much kinder to me. But Giovanni is just so much hotter than Bugsy! I just don't know what to do.'

Jerry brought out another guest. 'Harley, maybe Bugsy can help you to make a decision. Here is your boyfriend!'

A young man with semi-long hair entered the television studio. He immediately ran towards his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around him. 'I love you so much, Harley!'

'I love you too, Bugsy,' Harley said, but he was unsure whether he really meant those words or not.

Giovanni got up from his chair, ran towards Bugsy and pushed him on the ground. Then, he kicked the Gym Leader from Johto in the nuts. Bugsy, who did not like to fight, tried to defend himself by striking Giovanni's nose with his fist, causing Team Rocket's boss to start bleeding.

'JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!' the audience chanted.

Jerry's Chikorita decided to break up the fight by using his Vine Whip. The Pokemon moved Bugsy away from his much stronger enemy.

'CHIKO! CHIKO! CHIKO!' the audience chanted.

Harley walked up to Jerry. 'I just don't know what to do, Jerry! Now they're fighting over me. And I just don't know which one to pick!'

While Giovanni and Bugsy started fighting again, Jerry tried to help Harley. 'Earlier, you said that you were dating all these guys. It sounds to me like you've become dependent on relationships. So you haven't even considered the option of not being with either of them.'

'Huh?' Harley gave Jerry a Surprised Pikachu face.

'I get that Bugsy is kind to you. But if you're not sexually attracted to someone, you're not ever going to be,' Jerry explained. 'But Giovanni isn't right either. He's the other extreme. You need to spend time alone, so you can think about what you really want in a relationship and what your dealbreakers are. You should only date someone who you are truly compatible with. Don't just date the first hot or kind guy you run into. You need someone who can be both the lover you want and the friend you want. Until you find such a partner, you are better off being single. If you have urges while you are single, stick to casual sex or masturbation. Don't enter a relationship with someone who you aren't sexually attracted to. And definitely don't date a douchebag. No, not even if he is hot.'

'JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!' the audience shouted.

'You're right, Jerry. You know, I've had steady relationships for the last ten years. When one ends. I just start another one. I haven't taken the time to be secure with myself,' Harley said.

Meanwhile, Giovanni and Bugsy were so caught up in another fight that they did not hear the conversation Harley and Jerry had. The man from Kanto tried to hit the Johtonian on the head with his fist. However, Chikorita managed to save Bugsy from the punch by using his Vine Whip. The Pokemon moved Bugsy away from Giovanni. 'Chiko Chiko!'

Then, Harley walked up to the two men. 'Guys, guys, guys! Look, you both can stop fighting now. I've made a decision.'

'You have?' Bugsy asked.

'Yes. I don't want to be with either one of you,' the Pokemon Coordinator said.

Giovanni stared at his former lover in disbelief. 'What?'

'Giovanni, you're an asshole. You'll never be the friend that I want. And Bugsy, well, you're a pussy. And you'll never be the lover I want. So I'm just gonna be alone for a while and learn to like myself.'

Bugsy got down on his knees and started begging. 'Can we go on one last date? How about a walk in the park?'

'No, I'm not going on a walk with you. You're a pussy, Bugsy. You drive me crazy. Go away!'

'Fine,' Bugsy cried.

'You can't leave me, Harley!' Giovanni yelled.

Harley started screaming and punched his ex-partner in the face. 'I have had enough of you!'

Before Giovanni could retaliate, Chikorita intervened. The Pokemon grabbed Team Rocket's leader with his Vine Whip and threw him out of an open window in the television studio.

'Giovanni is blastin' off again!' the mobster boss shouted.

Then, Jerry addressed the audience for his final thoughts. 'Some people struggle with being alone. So they hop from relationship to relationship. When they break up with someone, they don't take the time to reflect on why the relationship ended. They don't think about what they really want in a relationship. Instead, they just rush into another relationship as soon as possible. Doing this is a recipe for disaster. If you keep dating partner after partner without taking the time to think about what kind of partner you actually want and only dating someone who fits your dealbreakers, you will keep running into people who you aren't compatible with. Fortunately, Harley understands that now. Until next time, take care of yourself and each other.'