Chapter 26: Facing the Truth
Golden rays from the soon to be setting sun filtered through the changing leaves outside the window pane of Elizabeth's row house. Inside, Jack was playing quietly on the rug with his hand carved Mountie. Elizabeth pulled a pan of roasted carrots and parsnips from the oven and set it on the table to cool.
A soft knock at the door had Jack scrambling up and fiddling with the knob. Knowing her boy's newfound skill set with locks, she quickly joined him at the door. Elizabeth turned the knob and was pleased to see her smiling student. Her caramel-colored hair was braided back with a blue ribbon at the end, and she wore a new navy striped pinafore that was neatly pressed and pleated.
Jack squealed and threw his arms around her waist, hugging her tightly.
She smiled down at the young boy she loved like a brother. "Hi, Jack!" She squeezed him in return before he stepped back with a smile, letting her come inside.
"Allie! Thanks for coming. Change of plans though, Mrs. Coulter invited us to eat over at her house tonight."
"Oh. Ok." Allie looked down at her hands for a moment, "I wasn't able to bring anything for supper though….uh, my teacher gave us a lot of homework." She said without cracking a smile.
"You poor child." Elizabeth deadpanned. "Did she assign a bunch of jump roping with Opal and Emily?"
"Probably. She's very concerned for our physical fitness." A wry smile finally broke free from her lips. "Do you think Mrs. Coulter will be upset I don't have anything to bring?"
"No, Sweetheart. Not at all. I'm sure she didn't expect you to cook. I have something you could bring though if you want. Could you help me carry this jar of cookies?"
Allie nodded with a little sigh—relief evident on her face.
"I need to put these carrots and parsnips in a bowl and then we can head over, ok?"
————
The door to Superintendent O'Reilly's office opened abruptly, and Gabriel stood grinning as if he were on top of the world. Nathan couldn't help but smile in relief for his friend. The superintendent appeared just a step behind Gabriel, and Nathan stood and saluted his superior once more.
"At ease, gentlemen. Grant, if you'll wait a moment I can get you an answer for your next meeting."
"Yes Sir," Nathan nodded.
Gabriel's head cocked to the side, "You have another meeting? He's not promoting you to Sergeant is he?"
"Not yet," Nathan laughed. "It's still technically Constable."
"Well then, you can salute me as your superior. It's Corporal Kinslow now."
Nathan smiled and offered a sloppy salute. "You're enjoying this."
"I am!" Gabriel laughed.
"Well Congratulations, Corporal," he clapped his friend on the back.
"Thanks, Captain." Gabriel's brow twitched in amusement.
Nathan rolled his eyes and shoved his shoulder before he dropped his hand back to his side. "Figures you'd remember that. Enjoy it while you can. Superintendent O'Reilly offered me the Corporal position for Hope Valley. I just need to talk it over with Allie and Elizabeth first."
Gabriel's eyes flared and his face fell leaving his mouth gaping open. "I…probably should have talked to Lillian too. I just heard the promotion would guarantee my spot in Brookfield, and I had to jump on it…but maybe I could have waited."
"I think Lillian will understand, Gabe. She'll likely be thrilled."
"I hope so. It's really coming together," he spoke almost reverently.
"Seems like the Lord has a way of working these things out." Nathan reminded him.
The door opened again, and Superintendent O'Reilly stuck his head out. "Grant, in ten minutes you're upstairs in room 304."
"Yes Sir. I'll be there. Thank you."
"You're welcome." He nodded to them both and disappeared again behind the closing door.
Gabriel eyed his friend suspiciously.
Nathan spoke low, "I'm ordered to see the staff psychiatrist under protocol for my participation in the shootout. He said it's standard procedure now. Apparently, I was supposed to receive services after the prisoner transfer too, but Hargreaves dropped the ball."
"Of course he did." Gabriel whispered back. "I'll wait for you for supper. Do you want to go out to that Cafe across the street?"
"Sure. I'll meet you there." Nathan stepped back and started to turn towards the stairwell.
"You forgot my salute." Gabriel quipped dryly.
"No, I didn't. This is already going to your head." Nathan rolled his eyes and turned away—completely missing Gabriel's laugh at his retreating back.
——-
After a few minutes, the Thorntons and Allie headed over to the Coulters next door. After a single knock, they were ushered inside by the bubbly blonde greeting them all—adorned in her red floral apron. The home was filled with the tantalizing scents of roasted beef, and freshly baked bread.
"Mrs. Coulter, thank you for having me over tonight. Everything smells wonderful."
"Oh thank you, Allie. I'm glad that you're here. I wanted tonight to be special so I made Beef Wellington."
"What can I help with Rosemary? I brought some roasted vegetables." Elizabeth led Jack to the table, and placed the bowl on top while Allie placed the cookie jar on a side table.
"I think I have everything. You can pour the tea though. The beef looked finished a minute ago." Rosemary grabbed a thick towel and pulled the beef from the oven, resting it on the top of a trivet on the table.
"Oh good. Laura said that Jack refused to nap so we'll see how tonight goes. I'm hoping he'll eat at least a little bit before he crashes." Elizabeth eyed her son whose eyes seemed to droop even as his legs slowly kicked under the table.
Rosemary removed her apron, and turned to the young girl. "Allie, could you grab the rolls? Then you can sit here between Mrs. Thornton and I."
"Of course. Will Mr. Coulter be joining us?" the teen asked, glancing at the door as she grabbed the bread basket and brought it up the table.
"Not tonight, Dear. He was going to finish up some work at the office. He told us to enjoy a girls' night."
"Well, that was sweet of him," Elizabeth smiled warmly. She circled the table pouring tea in each cup.
"I not a girl!" Jack reminded them—his little arms folding in protest.
"Of course, you're not. You're my sweet boy." Elizabeth placed a kiss on his head and put down the tea kettle next to the butter and jelly.
"Maybe you should remind Uncle Lee when you see him next," Rosemary teased as she scrunched her nose and pointed playfully at him with her finger. Jack giggled and nodded his approval at the plan.
"Shall we?" Rosemary pulled out her chair and the ladies sat, joining Jack at the table. Rosemary said grace and started carving the Beef Wellington while Elizabeth served the carrots and parsnips. Allie passed the fresh rolls, overlooking Jack's decision to grab two.
The table fell silent with only the sound of clinking silverware and Jack's contented groans. "Fanks Auntie Wosie fer bwead."
Rosemary smiled down at him. "You're welcome, Jack. I thought you would like that."
"I got TWO."
Elizabeth glanced at his hand under the table gripping the roll for dear life. "Jack! One at a time please. You have other food to eat."
"Sowy. I wike it." He apologized with a shrug.
Allie fought a grin and feigned a cough instead to cover her mouth. Rosemary and Elizabeth kept the conversation flowing around the table catching up on each other's lives while hearing about Allie and Jack's days.
From the sound of it, Jack had listened to Laura read most of the storybooks in the house snuggled up with a blanket and yet still managed to keep himself awake. Allie had a busy afternoon finishing—what turned out to be—minimal math homework. She then spent the afternoon jumping rope with Opal and Emily. Rosemary had a busy afternoon formatting the newspaper for this week's edition, and Elizabeth filled her time grading papers and cooking after school let out.
When Elizabeth got to the part in her story about Little Jack trying to help himself to the cookie jar while she checked on her carrots, she noticed her son slumping over at last with jelly dripping down his chin. His second half-eaten roll fell from his hand to the floor.
Elizabeth gave the boy a sympathetic pout and a little laugh. She wiped his chin and looked to Rosemary with amusement, "Every day he turns more and more into his father."
Allie giggled at the reference, and Rosemary raised her brow.
"Gabriel told us last night about how Jack had fallen asleep eating at camp in the Northern Territories. Apparently his horse, Apollo, licked Jack's face clean."
Rosemary shook her head gently with an amused smirk. "I can just picture that. Oh, Jack. I'll bet he had a rude awakening."
"He sure did," Elizabeth said with a smile. She scooped her son up from his chair, and he immediately snuggled into her shoulder as she carried him to the settee. She covered him gently with one of his blankets and kissed his forehead.
Elizabeth returned to the table and the ladies finished the rest of their suppers with Rosemary asking Allie more about her interests and experiences moving around as a young girl. Elizabeth refilled their tea and brought over a plate full of cookies.
Allie leaned forward a bit in her chair and took a cookie. "Mrs. Coulter, what was it like for you as a Mountie daughter?"
Rosemary smiled and got a far off look in her eye, "Well, I was lucky enough to spend most of my childhood growing up next to Mountie Jack and his younger brother Tom. Just like you, my father and I moved around a bit until he became partners with Mountie Jack's father. Suddenly, I had a home again. My mother was gone, but I found a home with the Thorntons next door."
"Your mother died, too?" Allie asked in surprise.
Rosemary looked down at her tea and back up at the teen. "She did, but she was still alive when I was that young, but she was gone."
"Like my dad." Allie whispered.
Rosemary nodded, somberly. "But Mrs. Thornton, Mountie Jack's mother, took me in like the daughter she never had. I think, though, that my presence made it clear to her why she was destined to be a mother to two sons…" Rosemary laughed and shook her head. "I could be a bit….much. Let's say."
"You?" Elizabeth laughed taking another sip of tea.
Rosemary waved her hand creating an invisible banner, "Charlotte said I had a 'flair for the dramatic."
Elizabeth snorted.
Rosemary scrunched her nose at her friend before she sighed and turned back to Allie, "She was right though, and Mrs. Thornton encouraged the boys to play Mounties…knowing of course that they needed a beauty to rescue."
Allie giggled and took a bite of her cookie—completely engrossed with the story.
Rosemary put a hand to her chest as a broad smile warmed her face at the memory, "Naturally, I fit the part."
She winked at Allie before continuing, "We spent hours playing in the house and out in the woods imagining what heroics our fathers were out there doing."
"That sounds like fun, Mrs. Coulter," Allie said with a smile, finishing her cookie.
"It was…and it sure helped pass the time…" Rosemary took a long breath and released it, "I struggled after my mother left. Before I had the Thorntons, I would pace by the door and cry for what felt like hours wanting him to come home. I clung to my father and hated to see him go out on missions…even short ones."
"He was all you had," Allie murmured. "I used to do that with my dad too when I first came to live with him."
"It's hard as a little girl to understand or even to feel safe without them." Rosemary reflected to herself.
Allie nodded, "I cried a lot. Dad had a hard time finding people to watch me. No one wants a crying kid." Allie pressed her lips together and swallowed. Elizabeth reached for her hand and held it gently under the table.
She looked sympathetically at both Allie and Rosemary, "You were such little girls then. You needed your parents. It's hard being away from them for any reason…even good ones." She squeezed Allie's hand and looked somberly at her friend before turning back at Allie. "I'm sorry you both went through that. It had to be incredibly hard."
"It was. I've never had anyone understand me like this before." Allie's eyes brimmed with tears even as they glimmered with hope. She looked up at Rosemary. "I'm glad that we're here in Hope Valley. Thank you for telling me, Mrs. Coulter."
Rosemary's eyes glistened with unshed tears as she placed a hand on Allie's arm.
"I really should have reached out to you sooner, but I wasn't sure if I was overstepping." She bit her lip subconsciously and her brows pinched in regret.
Allie sat up rigidly at the comment—surprise evident in her face. "Why would you think that? Dad wouldn't have minded."
"It wasn't your father I was afraid of upsetting." Her tone was flat, and she quickly raised her tea cup to her lips hiding her pout as she eyed Elizabeth over its top.
Allie looked at the two women bewildered.
Elizabeth narrowed her eyes at Rosemary with a hint of amusement in her voice. "I'm not that scary."
"Au contraire." Rosemary challenged with a smile, dramatically waving her nearly empty tea cup.
Allie glanced down at her hand in her teacher's with her brows pinched in thought. "But… why wouldn't you want Mrs. Coulter to talk to me?"
"Oh no, Sweetheart, it wasn't that. I think it was just Mrs. Coulter's way of letting me decide my own feelings for your dad…" She quickly explained hoping to reassure the child, "…but…once again, I'm afraid that we missed how that decision for me affected you… and what you needed."
Elizabeth took a deep breath as she studied her student's long face. "Allie, I'm sorry. I never considered how much Mrs. Coulter could relate to you…"
The teacher pressed her lips together as a shadow crossed her eyes and her shoulders slumped, "…although…maybe…that isn't true."
Allie looked confused.
"I think part of me liked being the woman you came to for help, and more than just as your teacher."
Elizabeth looked over at Rosemary with regret, "I think I was also afraid that you'd develop a motherly bond with Mrs. Coulter that I really wanted you to form with me instead…I'm sorry. To both of you."
Rosemary's eyes misted, and her lips pressed together tightly as she looked down suddenly at her plate.
Allie withdrew her hand, "But…why wouldn't you tell me?!" Tears spilled over finally as she looked between her teacher and her neighbor and stood up. "I'm going to go home. I'm sorry."
"Allie, you can't walk home alone at night." Elizabeth interjected, hoping desperately to buy more time to fix this.
Without even looking at her friend, Rosemary spoke up, setting the cup down, and standing from the table. She took a timid step towards the teen, "I'll take you…"
Allie backed up from the table, shaking her head slightly as tears continued to fall. The door creaked softly as it opened behind her, revealing a suddenly nervous Lee. "Uh, hi ladies. I can uh, come ba…"
Allie turned around at the sound—relief evident in her tear-stained face. She sniffled with a weak voice, "Mr. Coulter can you take me back to the Weise's?"
Lee glanced nervously at his wife, seeing her nod sadly and wring her hands. He looked back to the teen with tenderness in his eyes, "Sure, Allie. Let me grab your shawl. Do you have anything else?"
She shook her head quickly and stepped through the door and into the cool night air.
Lee grabbed hold of the door and gave a nervous glance back at his wife and neighbor. Rosemary mouthed "thank you" as her eyes changed from relief at his arrival to simmering rage as he closed the door behind him.
She turned abruptly towards the suddenly sullen schoolteacher. "Elizabeth?!…Oooooh….after all we've been through, and you take even this from me?! How could you do that to me?! To her?!"
Elizabeth's head hung low, her heart raced in her ears, and she reached for the comfort of Jack's rings around her neck. "Rosemary, I'm sorry I…"
The blonde's seething eyes bored into hers, "And don't you dare bring Jack into this. Jack never would have condoned it!"
"Rosemary, I…I never should have kept you out." She could barely keep the eye contact, but dared not look away.
"THREE years Elizabeth. THREE YEARS they have been here and you know more than anyone that I've wanted a child…a daughter!" Rosemary paced back and forth past the table.
Elizabeth bristled under the rebuke. She opened her mouth, but she closed it again under Rosemary's glare.
"Allie has longed for a mother, and you've taken that from her. And for what? So you could run around with Lucas?! You still don't know what you've done, do you?! These are peoples' LIVES Elizabeth! This isn't all about you!"
Elizabeth gasped and stepped back, her mind reeling with memories. "I…I have to go," she spoke softly. Elizabeth walked silently over to her still slumbering boy.
"You can leave him… if it's easier." Rosemary offered softly--though her chest still heaved and a tinge of regret already stained her face.
"No, I'll take him home. We won't burden you anymore." She didn't even turn around as she scooped him up into her arms.
"Elizabeth, he has never been a burden. We love having him here." She followed her friend to the door and opened it quietly for her. "I'd like to talk to you later…"
"Good night." Elizabeth responded curtly, stepping quietly into the night air.
"Good night," Rosemary whispered back.
——
Rosemary watched mother and son cross the yard, climb the steps, and disappear inside. She closed the door softly, and collapsed into tears as her back slid down the wooden door. She sat crumpled on the floor.
A deep sense of sadness enveloped her. Several minutes passed by as the confrontation with her best friend echoed through her mind. The tears came fast and hot streaking down her cheeks. Rosemary gave in to the sadness and wept as her well of emotions ran over.
She was so wrapped in the endless circle of what was said and what she had wished she had said that she completely missed the sound of a pair of soft footsteps on the step. There was a light knock and then, "Rosie? Sweetheart? Can I come in?"
Rosemary scrambled to her feet, and Lee slowly pushed open the door. He barely rounded it before his wife collapsed into his arms. He held her gently, kicking the door closed behind him and led her to their settee. He kept an arm around her back as she leaned into his chest. He kissed her forehead softly, and whispered, "Oh, Rosie" into her hair. Her sobs started to slow.
"Sweetheart, what happened?"
"I don't know Lee. I got so angry. Allie is upset with me, and I feel like I just lost that relationship before it ever got to start."
"I doubt you lost it. You two are kindred spirits in a way. I spoke with Allie on the way to the Weise's. She's upset, but she's in good hands there. It sounds like she had a lot to think about. Ellen assured me she would help her talk through it."
Rosemary sniffled. "Good. I never meant to hurt a child. I was so worried about not hurting my relationship with Elizabeth that I didn't consider what Allie needed. I should have gone to her anyway. I should have listened to you, Lee."
"Sweetheart, I understood that it was hard for you to connect with Jack's replacement. It was hard at first for all of us, and that was never fair to Nathan or Allie."
"They reminded me so much of me and my dad. And I miss him too."
"I know." He kissed her temple and stroked her hair softly.
"I said some harsh things to Elizabeth."
"Were they true?"
"Mostly. I could have said them better."
"Probably. But you've also promised to tell her the truth even if it was hard. It sounds like you did that."
"Well, there was no walking on eggshells I'll tell you that."
"I can see that."
Rosemary whipped her head up in surprise. Lee held his free hand up. "You told her the truth. Maybe…it could have been packaged differently, but at least it came out. So the somewhat untrue stuff you said…what do you need to apologize for?"
"I was pretty direct. I told her not to make it about Jack and she hadn't tried to…I didn't even give her the opportunity. She was trying to apologize I think."
Lee nodded. "You two have been best friends for a long time. You've been through a lot. Give it some time. Let her think, and give her a chance to talk. I know she loves you too. You'll find the way through this."
"I know you're right," she said with a sigh.
Rosemary stared at Jack's blanket on the settee, and her breathing increased.
"Rosie? What is it?"
"It's not just that. Having Jack here…and Allie…it just stirs up a lot of…feelings."
"Sweetheart, I know this has been hard for you. I want children too, and I wish I could give them to you more than anything."
"Leland Coulter we don't know that it's you. It could just as easily be me...we've gone over this."
"Besides, I'm pretty sure it is me." She said with a sniffle.
"What makes you think that?" He brushed back her hair softly from her face.
"I don't know. Just a feeling. I just don't understand why God would do this?"
"I…don't know..." Lee rubbed his wife's back. "I've never understood it myself….One thing I do know is that I love you, and this doesn't change that."
"I love you too. Lee, I've prayed and prayed for a child for us, and God isn't answering my prayer. Have I done something wrong?"
"Oh Sweetheart, I don't think so. You would be a wonderful mother."
"And you would be a wonderful father. I see you with Jack. Sometimes it too much to bear."
"I know just what you mean."
They sat in silence for several minutes just wrapped in each other's arms until Lee's breathing started to slow.
"Lee, you go on ahead to bed. I think I need a few minutes to think."
"Are you sure? What about all these dishes?" Lee asked a bit timidly.
"Yes. I'll be up in a bit. And I'll put the beef in the icebox and let the dishes soak." Rosemary ran her hand along Lee's stubbled cheek and kissed him sweetly. She took a shuddering breath as he kissed her forehead looking conflicted at her request.
Lee trodded reluctantly up the stairs, grabbing an oil lamp from the side table.
Rosemary watched him go before she quietly padded over to their bookshelf, taking her family's Bible. She opened quickly to the front—the pages cruelly landing on the record of family births and marriages.
Gently, she touched her parents' names, quickly fingering past her mother's and pausing tenderly on her father's. She took a deep breath before she moved on to her own. Moving her finger down the page, she found the record of her wedding to Lee. She lingered there, tapping her finger sweetly across his name. Though she tried not to look, the glaring spaces beneath them blurred with tears as every space labeled children lay as barren as she felt.
She sniffled quietly and let the tears come. Unable to look at it any longer, she turned haphazardly to bury the page with anything else. She drew her knees up to her chest and sat quietly as the tears continued to fall.
She sat for several minutes—her mind swirling with questions she was uncomfortable asking. Afraid that Lee would hear her and return down the stairs, she wiped her tears and noticed for the first time the verse practically framed in the lamplight. "I will restore the years the locusts have eaten."(1)
She pulled the Bible closer as her fingers traced the words on the page. Although she couldn't explain it, she knew that this verse was no happenstance. A peace descended upon her and she hugged her knees taking a deep breath. Her eyes brimmed with tears, "Yes," she whispered. She sat for a few moments reading the verse over and over as if it was written just for her tonight, and a part of her heart clung to it—etching itself deeply in her soul.
Feeling her own wave of exhaustion, she quickly tidied the sitting room and kitchen, took care of the food, and headed to bed herself with a little more lightness than she had before.
——-
A/N:
Sorry as usual for the slow updates! I appreciate y'all's patience. I am trying to respond to each of you that review my stories. (I love them and they make my day!) It just takes me time and I don't have a lot of that. Thank you all for reading.
This chapter took an unexpected twist for me writing Rosemary's dinner, but once I saw it I had to write it. This is a redemption fic after-all and I think we're always growing and needing to be redeemed.
1) Joel 2:25 KJV public domain
