MILLIONS OF YEARS BEFORE ADVENTURE TIME
"Snap out of it Gunter! Use a concentration spell, or a basic focusing charm! Like I taught you, or well I meant to."
And down in the Ice Elemental's lab. Many of those focusing charms would be destroyed, all except for one, one had managed to survive. Ready to be used once more, the last will of Urgent Evergreen.
2 YEARS BEFORE ADVENTURE TIME
The land of Ooo was filled with many mysteries, and those mysteries held their own mysteries, and in many different universes those mysteries would forever remain mysterious mysteries. But in one universe one of those said mysteries would find themselves solved, and in anyone else's hands such a solved mystery would have little effect on the world. But in this case, dumb luck alongside the right man finding the right mystery was just what Ooo needed to turn everything right on its head.
The mad king as many called him, or better known to himself and those who he had previously kidnapped as the Ice King, was on a mission. He had heard a rumor of a nearby dungeon, one filled with an apparent item that was said to give a person all their dreams come true. How could he possibly pass up such a thing, so the plan was simple. Get in, find the charm, and then the luscious Princess Bubblegum the recent apple, or should he say gumdrop of his eye. "Oh yea baby. Princess Bubblegum won't know what hit here after I find whatever this thing is!" The Ice King serving as his own hype man as he journeyed inside the cave. Despite his childish demeanor and general lack of intelligence, he had managed to survive the many traps and enemies of said dungeon. What could he say, it paid to be an extremely powerful Ice Wizard.
And while their first few meetings had not gone so well. What with the whole screaming and calling of those Banana Guards, good ole IK knew it was just a bump in the road for their relationship. It happens, girls were weird like that, but he knew they were meant to be, and she'd see it soon too.
ZAP ZAP ZAP
And in the meantime, he got to have fun takin it to these bozos blocking his path. All it took was some good old-fashioned ice blasts, sometimes in the boing loings, and they were down for the count. Oh but it was all worth it, because right through this door would be his lady killer, not literally of course cause then how could he marry them if they were dead? "Oh, just wait until the Princess sees it. Maybe I'll even model in front of Gunther for some practice." The wizard's eyebrows raised and lowered as he entered, only to have his hopes dashed as he looked inside… and found only a square rock. "What?! Where's the bling?!" The wizard's joy turned to rage as she stomped forward, hands now up as he threatened to shoot the object.
Grabbing it with the intent to smash the item to pieces, the Ice King got a brief look at it. The front carrying the initials, "UE" On it but why the heck would he care? Was this some type of prank? Oh he'd show them! But just as soon as his anger came, the cold loneliness brushed the hot flame of hate aside. The sudden realization that the wizard not only had nothing to show for his efforts, but now he didn't have the item to get his princess. "My princess! Why am I always so alone?! Bubblegum, why won't she tell me!" The sad sad wizard cried as he unconsciously held the stone close, never noticing its sudden glow. "All I want is my Princess! Princess B-"
And then the strangest thing happened. Whenever the Ice King imagined a princess, a princess for him any number of images appeared. Often times of the various ones he'd pictured, royalty with crowns and jewels, just as one would expect when reading a fairytale. But here, he saw… someone else. A lovely woman, who's skin was as fair as a summer peach, glasses that magnified those lovely eyes, with red hair like autumn leaves, complimented by a lovely green sweater that just seeing it made him feel warm inside as if he were in an oven. "B-b-b-b-beautiful." Was all the suddenly transfixed wizard could say, yet at the same time it felt wrong. As if it were a crime to only say that. Without thinking, the wizard tucked the stone into his underpants, and left the dungeon. His mind too focused on that strange woman in his visions, and for the first time in his life, his mind did not drift to thoughts of the ice and snow.
With the failure of his mission forgotten, Ice King rose to the sky and flew away from the dungeon. Feeling the need to return home and maybe get over this new funk that had donked up his brain. Maybe some music would help him figure out who this new voluptuous Princess was. The journey back home, however, would only further mess with the man's head. Seeing all the well-made cities and kingdoms he passed, normally the wizard never considered architecture, but in the moment he found himself captivated. Even more so when he realized he had just explored an ancient cave and found an unknown artifact. "Boy who knew you could build something like that? Reminds me of… reminds me of…" What did it remind him of?
The question lingered for a minute. And normally when he had these brief thoughts of lucidity they would quickly pass, lost to the inner maze of his mind. But today, something was different, the path clearer, and although a part of him wanted to just shrug his shoulders and move on, something buried within began to push through. So, the often-distracted wizard attempted to focus his mind. Break through the shroud over his thoughts. It was difficult, especially for a man of his lunacy, but by sheer force of will the man's mind seemingly teleported.
One moment he was in the air, and the next, he was on the ground. Surrounded by old buildings ravaged by abandonment and time. It was as beautiful as it was tragic. "To think such a wonderful city could have once been buried in volcanic ash. An ancient civilization lost to time to the fires of the earth." Who was that? The voice sounded familiar, but that certainly couldn't be him. The Ice King was no nerd!
Shaking off the strange vision, the Ice King continued his quest home. Whatever that was, it did make him miss the frozen nature of his home. Upon his arrival however, the wizard found that appreciation dulled upon taking a look at his "Kingdom" which even then was being absurdly generous. No citizens, no homes, heck he didn't even really have a castle. How did he not notice it before? "Geez this place is shabby. Might need to do some renovation if ya know what I mean." The wizard spoke to no one in particular. Floating back into his home the Ice King was greeted by the sounds of penguins flapping and glass breaking.
"Gunther!" The bearded man yelled as he knew in an instant who was behind it. Stomping into his living room where his workout equipment was held, Ice King spotted his most mischievous penguin knocking over the man's bottles on the top shelf. Whether it be his spells or bottled drinks. "Gunter you quit it right now!" Already looking for his squirt bottle to deal with his rabble-rousing child. Thankfully it was close by right under where the naughty penguin was pushing off said bottles. "Oh, just you wait mister. You're in for a timeou-"
CRACK
Perhaps by accident but most likely on purpose, the penguin known by many Gunt and whatever came after had pushed a bottle of soda off the shelf and right onto his adoptive father. If not for the crown shattering the bottle on impact it might have been seriously hurt, instead now he was just soaking wet. "Guntar! Look what you've done to daddy's favorite tunic! Now I need a bath! But when I'm back you're in serious trouble mister!"
WENK!
And he just knew Gunthar was laughing at him. Throwing his tunic in the dirty laundry for the next half hour Ice King had to scrub everywhere. Every crevice of his body needed a good cleaning after that layer of sticky soda made him not only tasty, but sugary. He briefly wondered if this is what being a candy person was like, and again the old man thought about Princess Bubblegum. His… Princess? "Wait." Standing in the shower, with the warm water running over him, the stone still tucked in his underwear that he wore while in said shower, again something felt off. He… he had a princess, and Bubblegum, or any of those others he had attempted to kidnap… they weren't it. The thought of them only elicited a pang in his heart, until once again that redhead came into his noggin.
She… she was his princess. Her smile, it was meant for him, he knew it. But who was she, he had to know. Hands coming to his mostly bald head as he tugged on his single lock of hair. Pain surging through his scalp as the Ice King fought, he fought to know her, even as the whispers of ice attempted to blur his memory. But just as so many times they threatened to sweep him, once again the tablet in his pants glowed, and like a sun shining down, the ice melted, and the man could focus. "My Princess…"
He saw images, images of a young woman walking up to him as everyone else laughed. But she didn't, even when they believed him to be worthless, she looked at him with adoration. "B-B-B-" On hot summer days when he felt so lonely, she was there to lighten his mood with a book and cup of Ice Cream. When he was sad, she would drop everything to be by his side and remind him he was special. The cherry of his eyes, the woman whose beauty could not be compared too. To fireflies, to the stars, to even the beauty of the sun they were no match for her.
"I kinda wish. I could be by your side all the time."
A woman who knew nothing but kindness, with the brain of a genius, so much smarter than him. Yet she looked at him as an equal and as her only desire. How could he forget her?! She was the only person in this world who had appreciated him! He… he needed to remember! "Be-be-be-be!" It was on the tip of his tongue. Palms striking his head and unintentionally his crown, its gems shined brightly, before being surrounded by the same blue glow as the tablet. Forcing their shine down, as the will of the Ice King boosted by this magical object fought against the crown to regain his memory.
"Travel the world together. Yea."
Inside his mind the man felt himself running. Running past a blizzard that had ravaged him for years, into the light that had suddenly descended upon his icy prison. He could see himself, right beside her, hugging, kissing, she was his one and only.
"Love…"
And then the Ice King opened his eyes. The word finally reaching his tongue slipping past those cold lips for the first time in hundreds of years. "Bet-bet-bet… Betty." In this very moment, he may not have known it yet, but the one known as Simon Petrikov had found the first piece of himself once again.
