Eddie: Aren't you sugar, spice and everything nice?

Jake: Well, aren't you rudeness and sarcasm and everything...uh...

Eddie: No, go on. If you find something that rhymes with sarcasm and makes sense, I'll go easy on you next practice.


Beth: My boyfriend is to tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?

Caroline: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over the pain, kiss him.

Jake: Tackle him.

Eddie: Dump him.

Wally: Kick him in the shins.

Josh: NO TO ALL OF THOSE. JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN.


Jake: You look nice, I want to kiss you.

Eddie: What?

Jake: I SAID IF YOU DIED, I WOULDN'T MISS YOU.


Caroline: I'm so useless.

Wally: No you're not.

Wally: You can always be used as a bad example.


Jake: Beth no.

Beth: Beth yes.

Josh: Beth no.

Beth: Beth maybe.

Eddie: Beth no.

Beth: Beth no...


Beth: I mean, small creatures are way more vicious. It's because their anger has less space to be bottled up in.

Josh: That's ridiculous, give me one example.

Caroline: Spiders.

Peter: Wasps.

Wally: Terriers.

Eddie: Caroline.


Josh: How do Jake and Eddie get out of these messes?

Beth: They don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels out the other.


Jake: It's really muggy today.

Josh: If I go outside and all our mugs are on the yard, I'm gonna kill you.

Jake: *drinks from a bowl*


Jake: Did it hurt?

Eddie, sighing: When I fell from hea-

Jake: When you fell from the vending machine.

Eddie:

Jake: 'Cause you're a snack.


Beth: You're smiling, did something good happen?

Wally: Can't I smile cause I feel like it?

Peter: Caroline fell in the parking lot.


Mrs. Malloy: Eddie is at that very special age when a girl has only one thing on her mind.

Mrs. Hatford: Aww, boys?

Eddie: Homicide.


Eddie: Beth show me what you have.

Beth: A knife!

Eddie: NO!


There will be a part two I promise you. I just want to get something of mine out there again.