DISCLAIMER: Hawaii Five-0 and it's characters do not belong to me.

Hi everyone! So about a year ago, I made the colossal mistake of rewatching the last 2 eps of Five-0 and it got me feeling terribly depressed for our 2 beloved main characters all over again. And the only way I thought to fix the self-inflicted misery then, was to write another story. Who knew it would have taken me a year to start posting this story... But! I'm very very very excited to finally share this with you guys. Hope you guys enjoy this first chapter!

Prologue

Regret. A word too small to fully encapsulate the massive feeling weighing him down. Some days he was okay. Other days, not so. And today was one of those days where it felt like his insides were being ripped apart. He sorely missed his partner. He missed hearing his voice. Feeling his gentle touch. Seeing his soft gaze. All he was left with now was his friend's.. No, brother's almost lifeless body lying still in front of him. He reached out his hand and touched his partner's wrist, just above where the IV line had been inserted. He shuddered, his friend was stone cold and the wrist which his hand was wrapped around felt smaller, more rigid and less life-like as the days dragged on.

57 days. That was how long his best friend had been lying on the bed. Unconscious. Stubbornly refusing to wake up. And ever since then, he had just as stubbornly refused to vacate the seat next to his partner. What if his partner woke up while he was gone? Or worse, what if.. What if he left?

He couldn't take that risk.

He had practically moved into the room with his partner, leaving it only when it was absolutely necessary and when there was someone he undoubtedly trusted next to his partner. Every day he waited. Waited for a sign of life from his partner aside from the beeping machine. Waited for a single twitch of his fingers, eyes fluttering open, a hoarse voice calling his name. But his partner remained stoically comatose.

"Hey, buddy. How're you doing today? Are you going to wake up yet? You've tortured me long enough, don't you think? Buddy.. I miss you. I miss you so much." His tears fell onto his partner's arm and slid down onto the bed, leaving a wet patch on the white sheets.

His partner had shown no sign of waking up. It had been nearly 2 months and with each passing day the chances of him waking up grew slimmer. But he wasn't giving up. As long as his partner's heart was still beating, there was still hope. And as long there was hope, he would continue waiting by his partner's side.

He squeezed his partner's hand. "The doctors.. they want to speak to me later. I know what they're going to say.. Nothing they haven't told me before. I just.. I don't know what I should do. I need you to tell me buddy..."

They told me I was being selfish. Told me I was crazy.. That I was lying to myself. They told me you're never going to wake up. That if you do... you won't be the same. They told me that I should.. I should let you go. That maybe that's what you would want. They told me that.. buddy they told me that you're suffering.. Because of me. They told me that I should give you relief...

But... I don't believe them. I don't believe that you're really gone. I don't believe you won't wake up. That you would leave me, leave us. That you would give up. I don't believe you can't fight this. You've been fighting. I believe we can get through this. That you would wake up when you're ready. That you would come back to me. That you would be the same. That you would be okay.

Am I wrong, buddy? Am I wrong and they're right? Am I being cruel?

Should I let you go? I don't want to, buddy. I never want to. But is that..is that the right thing to do? Are you..are you suffering? Is this hard for you? Am I being selfish? Buddy.. I don't know.. what should I do?

I love you. You know that right? So if..if..if this is too hard for you, I'll let you go buddy. You can rest. I'll.. I can't promise you I'll be okay.. But I'll try. I'll keep trying till the day I see you again…

"Hey.." He heard a small, hesitant voice from behind him.

He hadn't heard the door open or heard her come in. He turned to his side and forced a smile on his face while he wiped the incriminating tears streaking his face. "Grace. When did you get here?"

"Just." She hugged him before pulling away to analyze his face. "Is everything okay?" She asked, concerned as she saw the tracks left on his face by dried tears.

"Still the same." He swallowed.

She nodded, approaching his unconscious partner. Her hand tenderly traced his forehead. Still the same was good. It meant he hadn't worsened. That was their pathetic benchmark now.

She turned again to him. "And you? How are you doing?"

"Hanging in there." He smiled, or tried to at least.

She placed a hand on his shoulder as she studied his features. He looked much older now. The past few months had taken a toll on him. The dark circles under his eyes were perpetually there now and the light had left his eyes. He was an empty shell of the person he once was and that broke her heart.

"It'll be okay." Those words seemed meaningless but it was also a mantra that had been repeating in their hearts with every single beat and kept them going.

Maybe if they said it enough times, it would come true.

But the small voice in his rib refused to console him today. We don't know that. It might never be.

"I miss him." He said, voice raw, unafraid to admit the truth.

"Me too. I miss him a lot." She said. "But I also miss you." She continued softly.

He looked at her, understanding the meaning behind her words. He knew what she was telling him. "Come here," He stood up and stretched his arms out. "I'm sorry, monkey. I'm so sorry."

She melted in his arms and allowed her facade to drop as she sobbed into his chest.

...

A year ago.

Steve rubbed his forehead on his charred sleeve in an attempt to wipe the sweat dripping off his face. The scent of blood, Danny's blood, almost made him recoil. It was all over him. His friend's life had been on the balance because of him and now, his shirt and pants were forever stained with Danny's dried blood.

"You should have taken the shot, Commander McGarrett." Daiyu Mei's voice threatened as Quinn and Tani roughly led her to the car. "You're gonna regret not killing me."

"Shut up!" Tani shouted. She hadn't missed that Steve instantaneously froze at the threat. His face had paled further, if that was even possible. "Shut your mouth or I am going to put a bullet into you myself." She repeated.

A galling smirk graced Daiyu Mei's hideous face as she knew she'd won. Even if she were in cuffs, being dragged to possible life imprisonment, she had won. Because the man in front of her was most definitely broken. She had done that to him.

"Oh how rude of me." She said. "Condolences on your partner's death." She let out a shrill laugh, her gaze fixed menacingly on Steve as she was shoved into the car.

Steve inhaled sharply, his fists clenched so tightly till it hurt. She didn't know that Danny was alive. She had planned for him to die, for him to find his partner dead in the house. How much he wanted to put a bullet in her head for even thinking of killing his brother. But he wasn't her, he wasn't the same as her or her husband. Holding back angry tears, he turned to his team. "Get her away from here." He gritted his teeth.

He was suddenly hyperaware of the earth spinning beneath him. Anguish pounded in his chest, driving him so darn close to emptying the contents of his stomach right there, in front of his team and HPD. Sirens blared as his nemesis was driven away. He should feel relieved but he felt far from it. All he felt was lost. His mind was blank, vision completely white. The ground beneath him seemed to sway.

"Hey!" Adam was beside him in an instant, a hand firmly planted on Steve's shoulder and another on his torso. "You okay, man?"

Adam's voice was the jolt of electricity his brain apparently needed. He blinked, vision slowly returning. Steve swallowed the persistent lump in his throat. "Yeah." He said. "Adam, go..go be with Danny. I don't want him to be alone for too long." He continued.

"And you? Where are you going?" Adam asked.

I don't know.

"I've got things to do." He said, heading towards his truck.

"Steve." Adam called out, trailing after him. "I'm not leaving you alone either."

Steve stopped in front of his truck and turned to face Adam. "I'm fine." He said. Of course I'm fine. I'm not the one who got kidnapped, beaten up and shot. I didn't almost die. I'm not the one who had to go through surgery. I'm not the one whose heart had stopped during surgery. I'm not the one whose life is still in a fragile place. It's Danny.

"I'm fine. So please. Stay with Danny. Call me right away if..if anything changes." He said but he wasn't willing to consider the possibility. The doctor's words still rang loud in his ears. Danny wasn't out of the woods yet. And hell, he knew. Danny would never be out of the woods as long as he was around. Danny had always been right. He was a danger magnet.

He wanted nothing more than to be by Danny's side but that thought prevented him. He drove away, not sparing a second glance at his team who were now staring dumbfounded at his truck. Where was he going? He wasn't sure. He wished a sinkhole would appear in the middle of the road and take him in. Take him so he didn't have to face his partner, his team again. He was ashamed. Ashamed that he had put his partner through the ordeal, ashamed that he couldn't protect his own family. He didn't deserve his title any longer. Leader? He would laugh if he still had any emotions left in him. He was no leader, his whole life had been a pretence.

He drove for a long while, without a destination in mind. But his subconscious had decided for him and he wasn't surprised where he had ended up. He stopped the truck and got out. Air just refused to enter his lungs. With each ticking minute, the heaviness in his chest grew exponentially, squeezing his heart till he was no longer able to breathe. The guilt was wringing his insides so tightly. He walked for a bit before he crashed heavily on his knees, his hands propping him on the grass as wretched sobs finally escaped his throat.

"Dad.." He choked out. "I can't do this anymore."

If his father could come out of the grave and give him a whack on the head, he probably would have. He would have commanded Steve to stop crying. To quit acting like a wimp. But he was weak, he was a wimp. He no longer had the capacity to go through life as Lieutenant Commander Steve McGarrett. Not a Navy SEAL, not the leader of the Five-O Taskforce, not even a McGarrett. He just wanted to be Steve. No more guns, no more chasing after criminals, no more losing people he loved. He had had enough.

Every single person he had ever considered his family had left him. One after the other. He couldn't add one more to that list. Not Danny. He could not lose Danny. There was no way he could face Grace and Charlie if Danny hadn't made it. No way he could explain to Eric that he had caused his uncle to get killed. No way he could look Clara and Eddie in the eye and tell them that they had lost their other son too. More importantly, he would never be able to face himself. If he ended up being the reason that his partner died, he wouldn't live either. He was sure of it.

The pressure in his chest returned with a vengeance as everything that happened replayed in his head.

Danny's voice roared in his ears, the gunshots he had heard over the phone felt too close. The moment of not knowing if Dany had been shot. The stench of the burning Camaro that still seemed to singe his nostrils. The image of his partner hanging on chains, blood dripping from his head. Danny's weak reassurance lying to him that he was okay. Danny warning him not to trust Daiyu Mei. The thing was, he knew not to trust her. He knew she wouldn't just let Danny go. But he hadn't had a choice. Trusting Daiyu Mei was his only option.

So he did. He had handed over the cipher to her. And he would never forget the smirk on her face. He knew what it meant. He knew he was right in guessing what she had in mind. He knew when she let him drive off that he was likely about to find his partner dead. Because, there was no way Daiyu Mei would have let him live. No way. Unless she was sure she had made his life worse than death itself. He was almost sure Danny was lost to him.

But he couldn't give up, he couldn't accept that. He couldn't accept that his partner was dead. Not yet.

How he had gotten to the address without killing himself in a wreckage was a surprise. Because if Danny had called him a maniac for his driving before, there were no words to really describe it then. The truck had come to a screeching halt, not the most brilliant thing considering he just announced his arrival to whoever was still in the house.

The image of his partner lying in a pool of blood on the ground made his head spin. Danny's dead, his brain supplied, heart throbbing agonizingly against his ribs.

For a few seconds, he thought he was about to collapse too. A part of him had died when his eyes had landed on his partner's unmoving body, when his mind was telling him the truth his heart so adamantly refused to believe. Years of training had him looking around for possible threats. But all he really needed to know was if Danny was still alive. Danny's chest had seemed a little too still.

The scent of blood, for the first time in his life, fazed him. Danny's blood was on his hands.

Danny..

He remembered he couldn't get his lips to move as he crashed onto his knees next to his partner. He couldn't hear his partner's breathing. He wasn't sure he was breathing himself. His hands worked automatically, knuckling Danny's ice cold sternum, holding his breath, hoping to any God that existed that his friend would rouse awake. And Danny did.

The groan that he would never forget, literal music to his ears. Danny's painful wheezing, he didn't think he would ever forget that too. You hang in there, buddy, you keep groaning, keep breathing. Even if it's difficult, don't you stop. I'm right here, you'll be okay. He didn't know if Danny heard his pleas, but Danny hadn't stopped fighting. Danny had continued breathing, returning to him each time he begged when he saw Danny slipping away.

He remembered being unable to look at his partner as Danny's head weighed heavily on his chest. His heart was being shredded to pieces as he wondered what else his partner had had to endure besides the bullet to his chest. The blood slowly but steadily seeping out from the back of Danny's head, the raging bruises on his face, the split lip. What had they done to his friend, his brother?

No.. it wasn't them. Daiyu Mei or her scumbag goons hadn't done this to Danny.

It was him. He had done that to his partner. He was the reason Danny was so close to dying. He was the reason that..

"S..te...Steve?" He shuddered at the rough voice. He swallowed, trying to ride through the painful throb in his chest. "Hey, buddy, you alright?" He felt a firm but gentle grasp on his shoulder, as though they were afraid he would crumble at the touch.

He looked up with a tearful gaze, meeting Lou's concerned eyes.

"Been trying to reach you for a while." Lou said softly.

He felt his heart stop momentarily as he studied Lou's unyielding expression. "Danny.." He almost whimpered. "Something wrong?" He asked, hurriedly getting to his feet. Black dots danced around in the periphery of his vision.

Lou grabbed Steve's arm as the smaller guy tried to keep his balance. "Hey, take it easy. Danny's okay. No change." Lou said. There was a small lie in that statement. There had been a slight change, not for the better. But Danny was hanging in there. Steve, he wasn't so sure. "I was worried about you. You okay, man?"

Steve made a sound that barely answered Lou's question.

"Come on, let's get you home. You look terrible and smell it too." Lou said, attempting to get some response from Steve.

"I'm okay." Steve said.

"Sure you are Super SEAL." Lou said.

Steve winced at the familiar term that Danny had coined for him. There was nothing Super about him. At the end of the day, how many people had died because of him.

The older man sighed, weariness colouring his features. "It's been a long day, Steve... You haven't even gotten your arm properly looked at. Don't want Danny coming after me if you manage to get your wound infected." Lou's voice persisted through his hazy, fogged up head.

"Gonna go see Danny." Steve said.

"Yes, I know. You will go see him, there is no one stopping you.. But first, we're going home, okay? Get you cleaned up, treat that burn, get some food in you, then Danny." Lou said. "I just came from the hospital, he's okay. Still on the good drugs and mostly asleep. But he's stable. Junior and Tani are there with him and so is Grace." He left out the part about Danny's worrying oxygen levels. It wasn't something Steve could do anything about. The doctors were already on it. And Steve wouldn't be any good to anyone if he collapsed from worry and exhaustion.

"Grace? You told her?" Steve asked.

"Yeah." Lou said.

Steve wasn't sure how he was going to face Danny's kids. This was his doing, did he have a right to apologise to Grace? Would she accept it? Did he want her to accept it? Frankly, it would be easier if she never forgave him. Easier if they blamed him. Easier for him to..

Unknowingly, his eyes rolled in his socket and he felt himself unable to finish the thought.

"Steve..Steve!" His eyes shot open again as he looked up at Lou who too seemed to have aged about a decade over the past few hours. Again, that was his doing. "Dude, you're really worrying me. You sure you alright?" Lou continued, wondering if he had somehow missed a more severe injury that Steve might have sustained.

"Ye..ah. Yeah." He said thickly, hardly convincing.

"Okay buddy, you're exhausted. Let's go get some rest, alright?" Lou said.

"Gi.. give me a second. Wait for me by the truck." Steve said.

Lou didn't want to. Not after he saw how horrible Steve looked. Still, he nodded grimly and gave his boss some space, standing just far enough to not hear Steve, but near enough to notice if something was wrong. Steve turned to look at his father's grave.

"I know now how you felt. Why you sent Mary and me away all those years ago. I never agreed with what you did but now.. I understand it. Dad, you brought me back here. And because of that, I met some people I cannot imagine my life without. But now.. now I can't stay any longer. I got the closure for you. I think it's time.. it's time I left."

"And you think you're capable of being done" Danny had asked him.

He hadn't been sure then. But now he most definitely was. The answer was a resounding 'yes'. If it meant protecting the people he loved, then yes, he was more than ready.

...

A/N: There it is, the first chapter. I know I've written like 2 other (or maybe 3) finale-related fix-its.. but I couldn't resist and wrote another one (because honestly there were a thousand other ways to give the characters proper closure but nope, they couldn't give us that T_T) I'm not sure anyone is interested at this point haha.. But yeah to those who got till the end, I really hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thanks for reading and I really hope to hear what you think about it! :)