Side Story Non-Canon: Teacher's Guide

Inspired by:Lumineary Arts


Another day, another migraine.

Though, Liam had always wondered why the humans programmed them to even have migraines- it seemed counterintuitive to have a workforce deal with the same limitations as human beings. Oh well, he wasn't getting paid to think anyways. Liam took a sip of his morning coffee, boiling and scalding, just as he liked it. The bittersweet taste invaded his electrical sensors, booting up some of his subroutines for the day. Didn't really help with the migraine, though it gave him a tiny ounce of hope that the day wouldn't be as bad as he initially thought it would be.

His serene train of thought however was cut short by vibrations coming from his metallic skull, he banged his head desperately hoping that it was just a glitch in his clock systems. He breathed a sigh of relief as it stopped abruptly, only for a loud blaring alarm to follow accompanied by a full force of vibrations. Liam groaned, and with that, he despondently pulled his black tie from its rack, going off for another day in class.


The metal halls of the school were stained with inks of oil, tattered mechanical remains, and what seemed to be defective CCTV cameras that occasionally glitched and twitched as though they were tampered with by an invisible force. Forces that ultimately remained none of Liam's business, and if he was honest, it was old news at this point.

Everyone knew that the WDF had failed in protecting their colony, and when it came to putting the pieces back together, they had spectacularly failed in that matter as well. Not a single worker drone had managed to patch up the hole in their roof made by those freakish murder drones. To be fair though, he had also heard that a murder drone had managed to help fix the problem by just leaving, not that it mattered.

"And pull!" A worker drone ordered, as several others followed in unison, pulling out a string of mechanical arms and wires from the ceiling. Liam scoffed at the sight, "What a mess…pity the drone that's gotta deal with that," he pulled out his flask from his pockets, taking a whiff of the alcohol within, and gulping it down afterwards. He moved his hand to wipe the alcohol from his lips, he could still taste some of it, but it hardly mattered, no one really minded since by all accounts, their components shouldn't be that badly affected by it…maybe. Things just went on as normal, if normal meant that they had the occasional dead body in the classroom, then it was by all means, normal.

That alcohol had really hit the spot, as the teacher's migraine finally stopped. He let out a calming yawn, before turning to a steel cased pocket door that was locked with the new keypad system that Khan Doorman was obsessed with. All it took was an ID, a security code that changed nearly every minute of every day, an antivirus scan, a saliva test, thumbprint scan (did they even have thumbprints? Or saliva for that matter?), an oil test, and a moustache check for all the dad drones, just to be safe. Stupid enough to be simple for most.

After scanning his ID on the lock, Liam moved his finger to the '1' dial on the keypad and pushed, an action that immediately caused the door to slide open. He pinched his visor as his migraine returned. One of his students had tampered with the school's security system again, and he knew of only one student with the capacity to both ruin Khan's beloved doors and give him a migraine within a single second.

"Uzi," Liam said tiredly, "How many times have I told you not to damage the school's security system?" The girl in question immediately became offended at the sudden accusation, "How did you know it was me?" Liam could only sigh as he turned his attention to the rest of the class that observed the two's argument, "Who did it class?"

Responding like clockwork, the class replied in unison, "She did!" While Uzi grumbled in her corner of the room, "Stupid narcs…can't even trust them to keep their mouths shut for a second…oh I'll shut them up…" Her anger was quelled when a hand from a seat behind her patted her head, "There, there Uzi, it wasn't your fault that I couldn't get into the room," a gentle but unfamiliar voice spoke out in her defense.

Curious, their colony wasn't expected to receive a new batch of drones yet. Liam couldn't quite make out the new drone given that he was seated at the very back of the room, he also couldn't believe that he had to deal with another kid. "New drone," Liam said with an annoyed tone that caused the aforementioned drone to jump in his seat, surprised that he was being addressed, "Come to the front and introduce yourself."

The student made his way to the front of the class, and Liam's optics adjusted themselves to see that he was a fairly lean and lanky kid, surprisingly tall too. How could he have missed that? Liam wiped his glasses; he really should've adjusted the prescription on those. He observed the young drone approaching his desk, his white messy hair was quite unique given that the rest of the class's boys elected to have no hair at all, his hat was a bit strange though. Kid, must've picked it up from one of those classy human corpses, lucky. Most of them just elected to have helmets instead of hair, though that was because of the hair shortage that happened in the summer of '69, oh the good old days. There was another thing nagging at Liam's head, as he saw that something was swaying from the new kid's back, was that a tail? And was it glowing with toxic nanites?

He took another swig at his flask, thinking, hoping that Robo-Christ would give him strength for this.

"Uzi," Liam has said her name with a touch of vitriol, it was a wonder how his voice box hadn't gotten stuck on the word, "Why did you let a murder drone into class?" The Murder Drone who was now at the front of the class, awkwardly waved towards him and the rest of his students who were all frozen in terror at the mere sight of him.

Uzi crossed her arms and sarcastically remarked, "Because why not?"

Liam's visor seemingly creased as he frowned, "You know very well why not." He paused for a brief second before glaring at the problem child, "Uzi, you do realize that we're still cleaning up after the mess they made, right?"

"It wasn't his mess!" Uzi countered as she slammed her hands on her desk, "Besides, we basically dealt with the problem!" Liam felt a vein pop at the corner of his visor, it was official, this was the worst day of his life. Maybe he could ask the murder drone to stab him with its tail? Morbid, yes. Effective, definitely. Sadly, a classroom was probably the last place he wanted to die in, Liam sighed in resignation.

"Fine," Liam conceded, but not before offering an ultimatum, "If the class agrees to let the Murder Drone stay then he stays. If not, then we're kicking him out. This is a democracy after all." He spoke monotonously as he let the class do the hard part of his job, he's dealt with the problem child before, so pushing it off onto his annoying beloved class wasn't too much to ask for.

To be fair, they all deserved it since they ruined his vacation days.


To no one's surprise, the majority voted to kick the killer bot out.

Uzi's fist collided with her desk, cracking its already strained surface, "It's not fair! Everyone's being…uh…dang it! There's no term for robot racism!" She cried out in frustration. Liam could only shrug his shoulders, such was life. It was disappointing for him and it was disappointing for everyone else. He motioned his hand to the murder drone, beckoning him towards the classroom door.

The murder drone dejectedly made his way out of the room, but not before waving towards Uzi, leaving her with a sad smile. Uzi's optics hallowed, as she began to pout. It took Liam aback. He'd never seen the problem child care for anyone else in the class to the point where she'd be willing to break the rules for them, most of the time she broke the rules for herself or for some other arbitrary reason. It would've been nice, if her actions weren't directed towards a bot designed to kill every single drone in the room. Oh well, he wasn't designed to care for such things anyways.

Before the murder drone could make his exit though, his frame was thrown back into the room when a skateboard hit him square on the chest. The teacher came over and inspected the board, and saw that it was adorned with stickers and decals that he was much too acquainted with, "Thad, skateboards aren't allowed near the doors. Also, you're late."

The tardy drone could only chuckle at his teacher's dull attempt at reprimanding him, "Sorry I was late! Hit a bit of traffic…and maybe a few traffic cones," he mumbled that last bit of his sentence. Looking ahead, his brow furrowed when he noticed that his board had hit another drone, and he helped them up. Thad was shocked to see that it was none other than the drone that saved his life a few days ago, "N? What are you doing here?" The murder drone was still dazed from the sudden impact, but nonetheless waved towards his friend.

The teacher drearily explained in his place, "He was just leaving." Thad's optics widened, he quickly glanced at the class's digital screens and saw that his fellow classmates had voted N out of the room, with a single vote for him to stay. A vote that made him look at the class's resident goth chick who seemed as though she was trying her very best not to look sad in front of everyone.

Thad grinned it was time for him to shine, "Hey everyone!" He called for the class's attention, while their teacher merely sighed at the sight of his shenanigans.

"I know that the murder drones, you know, killed like a ton of people but N's pretty chill, he wouldn't even be able to hurt a fly, and he's invited to my shindig this weekend, so you know he's cool." Thad said nudging at N for support who nodded along, "That's right! My hands are way too big to swat flies away effectively, J once told me so herself! That was before she…uh…went away?" N said awkwardly tapering off at the end.

Yeah, that statement wasn't suspicious at all. Also, who kept naming these drones with single letters? Liam questioned in his mind, but he shook it off, it didn't matter. What did matter though was the fact that somehow Thad's gamble paid off, as everyone unanimously voted him back into the classroom.

Some of Liam's students began speaking on the murder drone's behalf, "He does look kind of cute, in a weird serial killer kind of way," Rebecca commented.

"If you're into that kind of thing maybe," Lizzy rebutted, "If he wasn't such a nerd, he'd be able to pull it off," she added at the end.

Liam opened his flask and took another gulp of alcohol. Was this really the AI that humanity feared so much? If that was the case, they'd be disappointed. Though not as disappointed as he was at the fact that he really wasn't getting paid enough for this…or at all for that matter. And with that thought, every bit of reluctance washed away as he settled for letting the new student into class.

"Fine, new kid," Liam gestured towards the murder drone and pointed back to the front of the class, as the kid's optics glimmered in excitement, "Introduce yourself, or whatever. M, right?"

"It's N actually," the murder drone corrected.

"I don't care, just get started."

"Okay!" N yelled out enthusiastically, "My name is Serial Designation N, or just 'N' for short!"


The rest of the class had turned out to be relatively peaceful, save for the fact that with Thad's arrival, N had no place to sit. Liam couldn't be bothered to try and find him a chair, he's already wasted so much of his own time, so the teacher asked the new student, "Can you stand for the entire class?"

N looked a bit apprehensive, but he was certain that he could, standing still for a few hours was nothing compared to the things that J had him do whenever he couldn't meet his quota for the day…so many…horrible things. It still sent electrical shivers up his musculoskeletal systems; he couldn't leave the teacher waiting so he nodded gleefully. He was so excited to learn about new things that even a bit of discomfort wouldn't be able to stop him.

On the other hand, his best friend was not at all pleased. Uzi grunted, she knew that her teacher could get a single chair, but he was just a lazy drunkard, he was so lazy that it made her wonder if he even had the credentials to teach this class. Heck, a human teacher would be better than him, a thought that deeply disturbed Uzi herself. She wanted to skip class in its entirety, but N was just so happy to participate in something that didn't involve killing, maiming, or just harming any other drone. She knew that convincing him to leave would be an almost impossible task, not when he got this excited. It was weird though, N could've just asked her about everything he wanted to know, she was the smartest person in this classroom. In hindsight, that probably isn't something she should brag about. It was kind of cute though seeing him so happy.

Weird.

It was weird, gross, annoying, and…all of that other stuff. Uzi shifted her focus onto something else, hiding away the creeping blush on her visor. Seeing no other option, she turned to her teacher's discussion about biogeochemical cycles on Earth.

Maybe this wasn't as much of a waste as she thought it would've been. After all, she needed to know more about public enemy number one.


And she got bored, who cares about how the air people breathe turns into plant food?! Honestly, it just made her want to cut down all the trees on Earth, though, she's pretty sure humanity's already done that. So at least, that's one option off of her 'Ways to Kill the Human Race' list.

Uzi yawned and tuned her teacher out. She looked around the room, and saw that everyone was already doing their own things. Thad was hanging out with the cool kids trying to figure out how to increase their testosterone levels, gross. Lizzy, Rachel, and the other girls were gossiping about the recent addition to their class, which Uzi really didn't care for, she probably knew more about N than anyone in the room.

Speaking of which, she turned to her new seatmate, or more appropriately 'stand'-mate and saw that he still had that stupid grin on his face. There really wasn't anything that could hold down his enthusiasm. Uzi sighed wistfully, as a smile crept up her face, but she waved it off immediately as she continued to watch over N.

The longer the lecture went on however, Uzi noticed that N was beginning to shift his footing, she looked up and saw that despite him holding the same joyous smile. But it was betrayed by what appeared to be sweat that was beading off from his visor, she often complained about the person who programmed them to sweat, just this once however, she was actually thankful for it. What she wasn't thankful about, was the fact that N was still trying to pay attention to the hack that kept on running his mouth.

Uzi didn't want to ruin it for her best friend though, so she let out a quiet cough to get his attention. It went unnoticed, as the boy's attention remained glued to the front. Uzi glared at the oblivious drone, she had to think of something to get his attention. She rummaged around her bag, and picked up a pen, and threw it at his visor.

"Ow!" N yelled out, only to be shushed by Uzi, "Are you trying to get us caught? And I didn't even throw it that hard," she whispered. "S-Sorry," N nervously stuttered, "I just got sucked into it is all, your teacher's really good!" Uzi gave him a deadpan stare for that statement.

"What? He really is good!" N defended, as Uzi rolled her optics, "Whatever, if he was really a good teacher then he probably would've gotten you a chair, lazy asshole." N raised his finger and wanted to contend against Uzi's argument, but couldn't muster a single point of his own. Uzi took N's silence as a sign of surrender, her lips widened into a smug smirk, "See? Just looking at you standing there like an idiot makes my eyes hurt, so just sit on the floor."

"You've been looking at me?" N asked with an inquisitive tone.

"S-Shut up!" Uzi sputtered out, "Just sit down already!"

It was a promising proposition, but N shook his head, "I can't! It's stated in this school handbook," he pulled out a book from his coat, "That it's against the rules for a student to sit on the floor, it makes it easier for the janitors to clean it. Plus, did you know that the school had a lawsuit filed against it back in '69," N enthusiastically shared what seemed to be an interesting but ultimately useless piece of knowledge that Uzi did not care for.

Stupid N, and stupid book. Uzi knew that she shouldn't have given him that thing especially with his weird fascination in following the rules. Fine, if she couldn't break the rules, then she can at least bend them.

"…And that's why drone posteriors aren't allowed on school floors anymore," N finished, as Uzi remained unmoved by whatever he just said. "Alright, if you don't want to sit on the floor, then just sit right here." Uzi scootched to the very edge of her seat, making space for N to sit in. N waved his hands and shook his head, "W-What? That's not- "

Uzi raised her hand in objection, "There's nowhere in the book that says you can't."

"W-Well…"

"Would you just do it? This is a limited time offer," Uzi said in a hushed manner, "I won't wait around for you forever, you know?" She patted the space beside her expectantly. N gulped nervously, but nonetheless complied.

The close contact between the two drones caused them to feel warm. Uzi adjusted herself to make more room for the larger drone, whose frame seemed to tower over her as he shimmied closer to her. Uzi had always lamented the fact that she was relatively short, and never had she ever felt smaller than right by his side. The heat that he was generating was really throwing her in for a loop, she should've thought this out more. No, she shook it off, they were just best friends. That's right, she was just doing this for a friend, no more, no less.

N, however, was having trouble concentrating on the lesson. Sure, he was glad that he managed to rest his aching servos and joints, but their positioning was a bit awkward. He had to be careful not to hit the smaller drone with his arms and had to keep a close eye on his tail. Really didn't want to have to deal with that thing accidentally stabbing people. But he was happy that his best friend had his back.

"Thanks Uzi," he whispered to her, not knowing how his soft voice sent chills up her spine, "Y-You're welcome." She responded shakily, trying not to look at the boy's direction.


"And so that's how carbon is cycled through the Earth, any questions?" Liam wrapped up the first part of his lecture, and as he looked to his class, he found that to no avail, not a single one of them was paying attention. The boys were far too busy playing amongst themselves, the girls were whispering and pointing towards a particular direction that Liam turned his head over to.

He had wondered why the resident troublemaker had gone silent. In retrospect, almost any drone would fall silent when placed next to a murder drone, though that probably doesn't apply given how flushed Uzi's visor was when his optics focused on the two. It was quite a spectacle though, to think that it would take a wild beast to tame a wild beast, it amused him to no end. Even so, it was still class hours, and the two were just giving the students a distraction, so he pointed out, "Uzi, those chairs are designed to hold only one drone at a time."

Uzi huffed as her teacher chastised them, "Bite me!" A response that Liam saw coming a mile away as Uzi continued to explain, "Look, you didn't give N a chair, all I'm doing is being a 'good classmate' to him." She emphasized the last part with a bitter tone. It was typical of her to turn his own laziness against him, but before he could voice his own counterargument, N stood up and moved himself away from Uzi.

"I'm sorry! It wasn't Uzi's fault, I just got a little tired from standing," N explained while Uzi complained, "Hey, come on! It's no big deal I get in trouble all the time, besides it was my idea anyways! If anyone's going to apologize it should be me."

Of all the things that Liam expected to hear today, it was the words, 'Uzi' and 'apology' in the same sentence. Unless of course the sentence was "I'm so sorry that Uzi bit off your finger…" which was something he had trouble saying during her first year at the school, nowadays it was an almost daily occurrence. Still, it sent a shudder through his systems hearing that she apologized, albeit indirectly which was so like her to do. It befuddled him, how this one drone has already affected her behavior, maybe he should get him a chair.

"Besides, it's not like I give a shit about them anyways," Uzi spat out bitterly, in an attempt to ease N's guilt, while effectively offending the teacher. Liam knew that it was far too good to be true, and now he needed to come up with a way to punish Uzi while giving N a chance to sit. And sometimes, the best course of action is to simply do nothing.

"Very well," Liam decided, "N please continue to sit next to Miss Doorman, given that she's very comfortable with you," he added teasingly at the end. It seemed as though her vindictiveness was rubbing off on him, petty, but well deserved.

Uzi however, was not amused by the turn of events, "Shut up! I am not comfortable with this at all!" N looked downcast, apologetic at the fact that he made his best friend uncomfortable. Uzi, seeing this immediately backtracked, "W-Wait, no that wasn't what I meant!"

Her panic was met with snickering from all directions, and what hurt most of all was the smirk plastered on her teacher's face, "And what exactly do you mean, Miss Doorman?"

"Oh, bite me!"


This entire situation could go and bite her robotic rear end. N was practically forced onto her side but her teacher had infuriated her to the point wherein having the murder drone by her side wasn't too much of an issue anymore. She was totally going to get him back for this, maybe he could steal his consciousness for a day? Or maybe steal that stupid flask of his? So many options, so little time, she had to list it all down.

"Hey…uh…Uzi?" N spoke nervously, knocking her out of her rage-fueled note taking, "I'm getting a little confused on this part," he raised his finger towards one of their teacher's screens that had a circular diagram populated with mountains, trees, oceans, cows, and several other things that humanity has already wiped out. She was a bit confused as to what N wanted to ask, until she looked up and saw that the diagram was labeled, 'The Phosphorus Cycle.'

Uzi leaned back on their shared seat, almost throwing N off balance which she ignored, "So, you want to learn about the Phosphorus Cycle huh?" Uzi asked, as N offered a short nod. "Then why don't you ask your favorite teacher about it?" Uzi bitterly remarked.

"I don't want to bother anyone, and besides he's got a good rhythm to him now." N pointedly said, though to her it seemed like the teacher was struggling not to fall asleep to the sound of his own voice.

Uzi rolled her optics, "And you don't think you're bothering me? Has it occurred to you that I may also have gotten into a good rhythm too?" She stated sarcastically, as she sank deeper into their seat.

"You know that's not what I mean," N pouted as he shifted his rear to accommodate the smaller drone, "It's just that I trust you, you know?" Uzi raised a skeptical eyebrow towards him.

Sighing, N started to clarify, "You're the smartest person that I know, you're so smart that I know that you could teach all of this to me within the next few seconds."

Uzi sat up and crossed her arms, "Then why did you make me come to class? I could've just hung around you and V for a couple hours teaching you this." N twiddled with his metallic fingers, "I…I wanted to see…"

"You wanted to see what?" Uzi impatiently asked.

"I wanted to see how life was like here," N said ashamedly, "It's stupid, I know. But I just thought with how cool you were, I figured everyone here was like you. And I'm having a ton of fun learning new things, but it just seems like I'm being a burden to you." He paused briefly, internalizing everything he just said, "Maybe, I should just go."

N attempted to stand up once more, but a sudden weight on his arm stopped him.

"You should stay," Uzi said, releasing her hold on him and turning away from the larger drone, "And you're not a burden. It's been cool hanging around you today too, you know, despite the whole seating situation." N could see the edge of a smirk as she said this. N couldn't help but form a smile too, "You're really cool, Uzi."

"Shut up." She whispered back angrily, though the smile on her face betrayed the way that she felt. Uzi pulled up her bag, and took out a textbook from it.

With a reluctant tone, she spoke to N, "I'll teach you what you need to know. Just don't blame me if you fail, okay?"

"I trust you," N reiterated, accompanied by an even wider smile that took Uzi aback.

Curse that damned smile.


They do realize that the entire class just bore witness to that sickeningly sweet display of affection, right? Liam thought as he continued his lecture. And for once, he was actually despising the multitasking function that was installed in teacher drones. To see Uzi going to such lengths to help out her odd but somewhat charismatic companion continued to puzzle him. All she needed was a friend this whole time? He'd marked her grades down for cheesiness and unoriginality, but the subject wasn't on Drone Behavior and Narrative Analyses.

Eh, he'd mark her down for it anyways. Not like it should matter to her, since it looked like she was much more preoccupied with something or more appropriately, someone else that she was rather down on. Oh, how he cracked himself up.

Liam almost lost his concentration when he heard another student groan in disgust of the sight. He tuned his audio receptors and honed in on their conversation. Just to make his job a bit more interesting, one can only talk about phosphorus for so long.

"Look at those two, talk about freaky love," Lizzy joked to her posse. The hold that his daughter had on everyone else was very stereotypical, but nonetheless impressive, as he saw several other students agree with her statement.

"Yeah, totally, like who does she even think she is?" Rebecca voiced, pausing briefly before dumbly asking, "Seriously though, who is she?" The merry cast of popular students merely shrugged their shoulders before continuing their conversation.

Darren's arm swung over Rebecca's shoulders and he jokingly responded, "No one cares babe, maybe they're both defective, poor weirdos." The rest of them started to laugh at the two drones' expense, not that they minded, it seemed that the two were still far too preoccupied with each other.

"Well, I think they look great together," Thad contrasted.

Lizzy blew an air of indifference, "Of course you would, you got infected by their weirdo code." A joke that made the group giggle uncontrollably.

Liam was half-tempted to ruin their fun, but he was almost done with his lecture, so he really didn't want to stop. Not like they would've paid him any attention anyways, speaking of paying attention, he continued to listen in.

That puffed his cheeks and aired his own opinion, "They really do look great together! They stopped those two murder drones, and that weird spooky snake crab thing. Plus, they even went to prom together!"

"Thad," another of his students said, he believed that it was Sam. Sam continued, "Are you saying that you're..."

"What? No! I don't!" Thad immediately denied as he shamedly hid his face with his hands.

"Oh my gosh, he does!" Rebecca chuckled as the group closed attempting to press in on the skateboarder.

Thad rolled his optics, but finally admitted to it, "Fine, I ship them!"

The group and even Liam, collectively recoiled in disgust.

"Ew, man, ew."

"Yeah, seconded."

"Disgusting."

Thad sighed, "You guys have no taste."

And that was when Liam decided that he may have listened in for far too long. Robo-Jesus, he needed a life.


Liam couldn't believe it, he was in the last stretch of his lecture slides, all that without much fuss. Perhaps the day really wouldn't be as bad as he thought it was. However, before he could finish that line of thought he overheard Uzi say something to N a bit too loudly.

"Finally," Uzi said, "That idiot's almost done, it took him long enough."

"Uzi…" N responded concerningly, his worries were shrugged off by the smaller drone.

Liam sighed; he knew better than to let Uzi into his head but she got away with too many things today. He had to get her back, but how? If there was one thing that he could say about Ms. Doorman, it was the fact that the kid was a damn prodigy. Brilliant, but lazy, unlike most of his students who were just plain lazy. Her intelligence made her stand out, far too unapproachable to her peers. Sad, but it made her almost impenetrable too.

Still though, every armor had its chink. And the kid shouldn't have brought her Achilles heel to the table. What could he say? Turned out he was petty too.

"New kid," Liam said, disrupting the two's conversation, "What type of phosphorus is taken up by plant life?" A tricky question, one that he neglected to discuss. Easy for straight A students to figure out though the Murder Drone looked like his processor was about to overheat with how difficult the question was.

Holy biscuits, N thought as panic arose from his very core. N had no clue what the answer was, he knew that the teacher had said it earlier, and that Uzi reiterated it but he was still processing some of the information that he just learned minutes ago. Oh, J was right, he was horrible at stressful situations. He was going to get demoted! Or worse, fired!

Uzi glared at the teacher for giving her best friend such a stupid question, though her anger quickly turned into concern once she heard N panickedly mumbling to himself. She couldn't quite make out everything that he was saying, though she could pick out the words, 'V,' 'J,' 'fired,' 'useless.'

It was the first time in the day where N's smile started to break, it didn't make her feel any better. So, she reached out and grabbed his wrist, she squeezed it gently hoping to snap him out of it.

N jumped in surprise of the sudden contact, and he looked towards the goth girl that gave him a reassuring nod. N smiled, that was right, he shouldn't have gotten this shaken up about it. After all, he wasn't alone this time. The murder drone took a deep but eager breath, and answered, "Plants take up orthophosphates, right?"

Liam's optics widened, but he let out a small grin, "That is…" N and the class leaned in anticipation.

"Correct."

N breathed a sigh of relief, while Uzi gave him a pat on the back, "I knew you could do it," she said. N gave her a grateful smile, before giving her a hug, "Thanks so much Uzi! You're the best!"

"H-Hey, don't make it weird!" Uzi resisted the hug at first, but gradually leaned into it as she whispered to the larger drone, "You weirdo…"

Perturbed by the events unfolding before his eyes, Liam's hard-shelled hand met his visor, "Are you two lovebirds done?" he teasingly.

"We're not like that!" They said in unison, though their flushed faces would indicate otherwise. It didn't really matter to Liam, but they did annoy him so he gave them deductions.

"Uzi, you get a B minus, for being too chummy with your boyfriend," he said before grabbing a nearby remote and turning his presentation to the next slide.

"Shut up! He's not my boyfriend! And we didn't even do anything today!"

Not yet they didn't, Liam retorted in his mind right as he gave his students an activity. One of the tiny advantages that he had over the class.


Liam stood by the door seeing his students off to do whatever it was the children did after school. He looked on as two problem children continued to linger on in what he deemed as a prolonged lover's spat.

"N, I told you that I won't spend another second in this hell hole!" Uzi yelled at the white-haired teen who whined, "I know, but I really want to do well on this assignment. The landing pod doesn't have any books on biogeochemical cycles."

"You do realize that I can just let you copy off my notes," Uzi retorted, failing to realize that she just said that right in front of her teacher who simply sighed at her antics. Still though, he wouldn't have been opposed to it, N was a new kid, and it seemed that despite his capacity for killing, he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed.

N glumly looked down on the drone, "I want to try and do it myself, classic student style," he said as he waved his arms around for emphasis.

Uzi pursed her lips, that dork was taking up way too much of her time, they had a bunch of stuff to figure and he chooses now to be a massive pain in her ass, "You can't be serious about this."

"Please, Uzi! I promise I'll be quick, then I'll give one hundred percent of my focus on finding your mom's backstory and finish our mystery quest," N pleaded. Uzi groaned, she really couldn't handle N's watering optics, dang him and his stupid attractiveness. Did she just think that N was attractive? No, he wasn't! It was just her hormones, that's all!

Uzi turned her blushing visor away from the murder drone and huffed, "Fine, whatever, my dad was going to get on my ass if I didn't do the homework anyways." N excitedly pumped his arm and proclaimed, "Yes, science adventure, let's go!" The drone ran off in a direction that was far from where they were supposed to go.

"You don't even know where the library is, dumbass!" Uzi screamed as she chased after the rogue drone.

Liam stared tiredly at the lover drones' hijinks and closed the doors to his classroom. The day was done, and he could finally get some sleep. That was until he heard a deep voice echo out through the halls, "Uzi! I've come to pick you up!"

Khan Doorman was quite the character, an annoying one to say the least. The effect that these two Doormans, Doormen…Doorpeople? It didn't matter, all he knew was that if he stayed anywhere near the two his processors would go critical in less than a millisecond. And the last thing Liam wanted to do today was to deal with any form of family drama. That just wasn't on his Tuesday schedule, it was more of a Thursday type of affair.

Liam whistled innocently as he shifted his steps away from the doting father who kept yelling out for his daughter. Unfortunately for Liam, his troubles were yet to end, as he turned a corner, a sudden blur of black and purple nearly collided with him followed by a streak of black and yellow. Those two were really complimentary, huh? Liam kidded to himself.

"Dad!" The purple blur cried out, "Stop embarrassing me! I didn't even ask you to come pick me up today!" Berating her father in front of her peers as her companion started to wave at him, "Hello again, Mr. Uzi!"

Khan raised a finger to correct the murder drone, "First, it's Mr. Doorman, not Mr. Uzi, though I do get that a lot," the engineer placed a hand on his stomach as he began to laugh at his terrible joke. N awkwardly chuckled along, while her daughter's visor displayed a visibly irritated expression, "What are you even doing here dad?"

"Well," Khan responded, pulling out a book from his pockets, "it says here on the manual that a good parental unit should pick up their offspring following a traumatic incident. Also," he took a brief pause before pointing towards the taller drone that stood by his daughter's side, "you're not allowed to see my daughter ever again!" he exclaimed.

"What?!" The two cried in unison.

Khan started to explain, "Weird things…well, weirder things have been happening ever since we let these murder drones into our colony. And I don't want my daughter to ruin her future, especially not for a murder drone like you, no offense," he added with a frightened and shaky tone.

N awkwardly shrugged his shoulders, "None taken?" he replied unsure as to not take anything that Uzi's father just said as anything but an insult to him.

Khan grabbed ahold of his daughter's arm and began to pull her out of the school, an act that Uzi adamantly kept going against, "Stop fighting me, let's go home. I've got some cool new door designs to show you!" He said gleefully, ignoring her daughter's grievances.

"Let me go!" Uzi kept struggling against her father's strangely strong grasp on her, "N! A little help here!" The murder drone looked unsure of himself; Uzi's dad did have a point about him ruining her future. Then again, he wasn't sure if he could trust someone that left his best friend for dead, even if it was from him.

Without an ounce of hesitation, N dashed to Uzi's side and pulled on her free arm, "Sorry, Mr. Uzi-I mean, Mr. Doorman! But Uzi and I have work to do!" He apologized as Uzi could only look on in disbelief, "You're still on that homework thing?!"

"I haven't even seen the library yet!" He yelled out in response.


It was quite the spectacle to those that still roamed around the halls, students were beginning to take pictures and recordings of the most cringe incident that has happened the entire year.

"Told you that the best things that happen in school always happen at the end of it!" Darren said, proving a point to Rebecca whose attention was firmly planted on her phone, "Shut up Darren, I have to show this to Lizzy later."

Truly, a sad sight, Liam thought to himself. Not like it was any of his business, and if it was it wasn't as though he could do anything about it.

A sudden but well-acquainted pain pestered his metal cranium once more. He shouldn't be bothered by this; it was none of his damned business. He turned himself away, but the drones' cries kept invading his auditory receptors, good thing he installed a mute button. Sometimes, simple problems do have simple solutions. He needed a drink, he reached for his flask once again, as he brought it to his mouth, he felt the container creek. Adjusting his optics, he realized that he gripped it far too tightly, as indicated by the indentations that perfectly fit his mechanical fingers.

Liam closed his optics, and let out a heavy breath from his mouth, and took a step back.

"Mr. Doorman," Liam said, stopping the three drones in their tracks. "I would like a word with you."

Khan finally released his hold on his daughter that lightly caressed the spot where she was held. N noticing this, voiced his concern, "Are you good, Uzi?"

"I'm fine," Uzi replied, wincing as she continued to rub the spot, "Just stings a bit, could've lightened up on the hold, dad," she added bitterly.

"Sorry, my bad, protective instincts," Khan excused as he gave a worried look at his daughter who only moved herself away from him.

"Protective my butt!" she yelled back. Before Khan could offer another excuse, Liam cleared his throat, "My classroom, if you would?" he offered, not really giving the older drone any choice as he went into Liam's classroom.

Liam turned his attention to the two young drones, "If you don't have anything else to do, I'd advise that you stay in the library while waiting for Mr. Doorman." The two drones merely stared at the teacher, confused by his recent actions but both of them complied nonetheless, speechless as they did so.

"That was weird right?" Uzi asked as N shrugged, smiling once again, "I told you he was a good teacher!"

"Shut it, N." Uzi dragged the larger drone to the right direction as N waved goodbye to the teacher.

A good teacher huh? Liam smirked, yeah, right. He supposed that he needed to be one now, thinking to himself as he prepared for an excruciating talk. Migraines be damned.


"So, you think that you have any right to judge me for my parenting when you know very well how dangerous those murder drones are?!" Khan yelled out to the teacher who remained unmoved by his peril.

"I'm very aware, Mr. Doorman," he replied without a single bit of care, "However, N, has proven himself to be a very…" Liam struggled to find the words to describe the young lad, well words that weren't an insult, perhaps he could just word an insult into a compliment…What would be a good term to define a source of aggravation?

Liam settled for something short and simple, "…He's a very enthusiastic and eager student," that much was true, "Paid attention to my lectures until the very end, which is more than I could say for the rest of the class." Unexpectedly, his lips turned upwards as he said it, it appeared that particular murder drone really does take you by surprise.

"Be that as it may," Khan responded, "He's still a bad influence on my daughter!"

Liam could only chuckle at that, taking Khan by surprise. A bad influence he said? That couldn't be any further from the truth. Any drone with two optics worth a damn could see that N was anything but a bad influence.

"Mr. Doorman, your concern, quite frankly is unneeded," Liam confidently said, he wrapped his hands comfortably together as he continued, "N has been, based on my own accounts, nothing more than a good friend to your daughter. And admittedly, he might very well be the only good thing that's happened to your daughter as of late."

"I-I didn't know it went that far," Khan stammered, until his optics widened realizing something, "Unless he was…" he jumped forward grabbing the teacher by his vest and shook him, "No way there's no way, right?"

Liam slapped the hysteric father's hands away, "What are you talking about?" Khan closed in and whispered with a tone of desperation, "You don't think they could be a 'thing' right? That's insane! But I should've seen the signs! The signs!"

The teacher could only watch on as Khan kept going on about 'make-outs,' 'boyfriends' and 'doors' for some ungodly reason. And he thought he had problems, jeez. No wonder Uzi ended up the way she did, this guy was a lunatic. Liam surmised that things like these tend to happen when you're obsessed with fortifying the one accomplishment you had in your life. What a shame.

Liam tossed his arms up in the air in resignation, "I have no clue what Ms. Doorman's relationship is with the murder drone, and I could personally care even less," he fixed his tie and vest before he continued, "But, given that you're actively hindering their academic progress, I have no choice but to ban you from the facilities for a week."

Panic began to build up from the mustached drone's processor, "Y-You can't do that! I built these facilities!" Liam corrected him, "Technically you made the doors. Now get out." He pointed towards the door.


"You can't do this to me! I'm the head of the WDF!" Khan repeatedly shouted as Liam ushered him out of the school doors.

"I can and I will," Liam said as he finally managed to push the older drone out of the school. However, as he began to pant, Khan took advantage of the opening that he left only to be blocked immediately by the teacher again.

Where the hell are the other teachers and security? Liam desperately thought, as he kept blocking Khan away from the school. It was a dance that went from side-to-side, back and forth, and 360 degrees, they were both making themselves look like idiots, and that was before Khan decided to grapple Liam down on the ground.

The two men kept rolling, fighting, and causing a general ruckus in the area until a grumpy voice cut through their argument, "Alright!" The two men stopped rolling and saw Uzi with her hands on her hips, "Me and N are done with our assignment, we're going off to their landing pod now, see ya dipshits."

Uzi clicked her tongue and tilted her head signaling her companion, who picked her up from the floor and hunched back as his wings began to unfurl, "See you Mr. Doorman! Thanks for the lesson, teach!" As he said this, Uzi whacked his head, "Don't ruin the moment! Just get out of here!" N nodded and flew off breaking another chunk of the roof in the process.

Seeing all of that happen, made the two men let go of each other.

"So, uh…I'll get my men to sort all that out, and I'll…uh…deal with Uzi?" Khan said as he dusted himself off. Liam looked up at the hole in the ceiling, and dejectedly replied, "Sure. You're still banned for a week, though."

"Damn it!"


That was tiring, and he can't believe he managed to get through it without a single drop of alcohol. Welp, his job was done and he really didn't have to do anything else anymore. Before Liam could bask in his victory lap, a hand suddenly smacked his broad side of his back.

The sound of a skidding skateboard invaded his ears, as it turned out that the slap was from none other than Thad, who shook his hand and said, "Thanks, teach! You did real good work there."

Liam tilted his head quizzically, confused by Thad's compliment. Thad ignored the look Liam was giving him, electing to simply click his tongue and start pointing finger guns, "I knew you were a man of culture too!"

"What are you implying?" Liam asked, frustrated by the boy's puzzling behavior.

"Oh, you know what I'm talking about, don't tell me you didn't see the sparks!" Thad tacitly answered. Had that little twerp just implied that he was a shipper too? Liam shook his head, adamantly denying Thad's baseless accusations.

"Please," Thad protested, "I saw the entire thing, I could tell!" At that point, Thad continued to dawdle and point everything out to the teacher, "You think that they're good for each other too, I don't need a snake body with a million-bajillion cameras to tell!"

"That sounds oddly specific," Liam pointed out.

"I'm still heavily traumatized by that," Thad admitted, though he didn't delve into it and instead elected to tease Liam about his current predicament, "Admit it! You know I'm right!"

Liam knew he was right, as much of a pain Uzi was to him, if there was anyone that deserved even a glimpse of happiness in this messed up place they called home, it would probably be her. He couldn't say much about her taste, but N from what he could tell, was a good fit for her. Someone that could stand by her side no matter what, and the fact that they distracted each other was a plus in his book. If they talked to each other more, the less problem children he'd have to deal with. The fact of the matter was that somehow seeing those two actually made his migraine stop even for just a second. The two had actually made the day seem much better than he felt it was. But damn it all, if he admitted all that, he was never going to live it down.

Nonetheless, it was much too insulting to admit that he and Thad shared this stupid opinion together. With Thad relentlessly teasing him about what he did today, it only seemed that tomorrow would be much more painful to go through than today. And with that in mind, he could only breathe out one last bitter statement to the young drone.

"Oh, bite me."


A/N: Hey everyone, Somi here! This is my one-shot collection for Murder Drones stories, this one was a fun one to write. The whole bitter teacher archetype is just something that I'm fairly familiar with.