5.6.18 I will be going back through stories and cleaning up/editing them. Right now I'm rewriting scenes from Giver of Life and I've marked everything I've finished with an edit date in the upper left-hand corner. Currently I think I'm up to the first 10 chapters. By the end of summer I hope to be going back through "Heart" with the goal of putting them into print as a collection of stories. Lofty goal, I know.

Chapter 35

My home felt different when I returned with Alex and Bessie for the evening. The boxes in the foyer had been cleared, the sound of Madeline, Meg and Charles playing cards or discussing anything from politics to music replaced by Julia and Lisette in the parlor giggling.

Alex wriggled his feet out of his shoes and sent them flying against the wall where they rolled under the the foyer table. He made no effort into properly placing them near the door and took off bounding down the hallway where he peered into the study. He opened his mouth to say something, but frowned when he did not see Charles. I could tell by the way he lingered that he had forgotten Meg and Charles had moved everything out of the house and were in their own home.

"They're back," I heard Lisette whisper as I shut the door.

"They must have walked very far to return so late," Julia replied.

According to the way Bessie dragged herself into the center of the foyer and plopped down, we had walked much farther than the dog expected.

Lisette walked down the hall with a wide grin on her face and her hands behind her back.

"Lissy," Julia warned.

"I promise I will not tell," Lisette said over her shoulder.

"What will you not tell?" I asked.

Lisette shook her head and pursed her lips. A moment later, Julia joined her in the hallway, her smile matching her daughter's expression.

I stood with my arms crossed and looked the two of them over. "Conspiring against me already?" I asked.

"Not in the least," Julia said. She placed her hand on Lisette's shoulder. "Now you may give it to him."

Lisette could not contain herself a moment longer. Her hand shot out from behind her back, revealing an envelope.

"Another opera sold?" I asked as I took the envelope from her.

She shook her head, and I looked from Lisette and Julia to the return address. Immediately I recognized the handwriting, which had not changed in thirty years. I stared at the envelope for a long moment before meeting Julia's eye.

"Please tell me you will open this tonight," Julia said, her voice bubbling with excitement. It was the most animated I had seen her in weeks.

I wedged my index finger beneath the seal and tore the envelope open while Julia and Lisette leaned in for a closer look as though the words on the paper would spring into the air.

"What is that?" Alex asked as he returned from the kitchen with Madeline behind him. He had several books in his arms when they appeared in the hall, all of which he abruptly handed to Madeline.

"A letter from Amelie Batiste," I answered.

Both Alex and Madeline exchanged looks before Alex took off running and came to a sudden stop beside me. "May I read it?" he asked.

Julia placed her arm around Alex and pulled him in close. "I am sure your father wishes to read it first."

Alex made a face. "I suppose."

Madeline placed the books on the foyer table and squinted at the letter in my hands. "Amelie Batiste? She wrote back?" she asked sounding more than a little surprised.

"Why don't we give your father a moment to read the letter?" Julia suggested. "I am sure Madame would appreciate a strapping young lad carrying her books back to her new room? And Lisette would you take the vase from the dining room table? You know the perfect place for the flowers Meg cut from her garden."

Alex puffed out his chest and Lisette readily nodded. Once Lisette elbowed her brother out of the way, she took off running with Alex scrambling to grab the books and follow behind her. Julia reminded them to stop acting like devils and the two of them giggled before disappearing out the back door.

Julia leaned into me, her arm around my waist and chin resting against my arm. "The postman arrived shortly after the two of you went for a walk. We have waited hours for you to return and open it."

"After all this time she still lives in the same town," Madeline said more to herself than to me. She offered a wan smile and squeezed my shoulder. "Praise God."

Julia nudged me toward the study. "I'll bring you a cup of tea."

"I will keep Alex with me for a while if you do not mind," Madeline offered. "I have missed that boy."

I absently nodded and made my way into the study. I glanced up where Charles would have normally been seated and paused as I scanned the room.

Everything was still in its place from the armchair Alex often laid across bemoaning his fate of studying until he died, to the stack of books and papers Charles had neatly organized on the mahogany desk. One stack of papers was always essays and quizzes Alex completed while the other one, which was usually kept in place beneath a heavy leather folder, were papers Charles wrote for universities.

The leather folder and papers Charles wrote were gone, which made the transition from my house to his own seem more final. Alex's work, however, was still in place.

It always amazed me that while Alex had no qualms of scattering my music everywhere, he was cautious with every bit of paperwork in the study.

I took a seat in the armchair, removed my mask and then pulled the papers from the envelope. Sitting back, I quietly read through the letter from Amelie Batiste, starting with a cover letter addressed to Alex. She thanked him for contacting her as well as mailing the gift I had sent to her.

How very thoughtful of you to send a note and a gift on behalf of your father while he tends to your mother, the note read. I was not surprised at Alex being so forthcoming with details, but still cringed as I had no idea what else he had said.

Once I finished reading her message to him, I set it aside on the arm of the chair and turned to the next page with my name written in the top left-hand corner: My dear friend Erik,

The simple greeting made me smile. We had known each other for such a brief time, yet that one evening meant the world to me still. I had felt like a regular boy, an awkward and nervous young man enamored by a young woman who glowed in the candlelight. With her acknowledgment came a sense of relief that perhaps I was a good memory to her as well.

Amelie wrote that she was well and was surprised to receive a letter from my son as the figurine of an angel holding a dove, but that it was a pleasant surprise. Her mother was still alive and in good health, although her eyesight had failed her. Both her older brother and sister lived nearby and had families of their own. She spoke of a son and a daughter, but never mentioned her husband. Lastly she mentioned Moon, and before I could finish the letter, Julia knocked on the door and gently pushed it open.

"Good news, I hope."

"She is well," I answered before skimming through the last two paragraphs. Once the house quieted for the night and everyone went to bed, I intended to read the letter again and mull over every word.

Julia placed a cup of tea on the desk before she stood behind me and placed her hands on my shoulders.

"Did she like the gift?" Julia asked as she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around me. Her breaths tickled the side of my neck, her lips nuzzling the shell of my ear.

"She found the perfect place for the figurine in her dining room."

"What else did she say?"

"Alex did more than invite her to Paris," I said as I turned my chair around and pulled Julia into my lap.

She released a squeak of surprise and patted my chest. "What else did he offer?"

"To pay for her visit with his allowance."

"His allowance?" Julia turned her head to the side. "How much do you give him?"

"Not a single franc."

Julia chuckled. "He is quite generous."

"He is fortunate she turned down his offer, however, she did invite us to visit."

Julia's lips parted. "Would you like to visit her on our holiday? Meet her husband and children?"

"I feel we would be imposing."

"Not if she invited you," Julia pointed out. She searched my face and smiled. "I think it would be wonderful to meet her."

Her words came as a surprise. If Julia had told me of a young man she had met long ago that invited her for a visit I would have adamantly refused.

"We will see," I answered.

Julia sighed. Before she could further interrogate me, Alex and Lisette returned home.

"I will send them to bed," Julia said as she stood. "It's far too late for them to be up." She paused in the doorway. "Are you coming to bed?"

"In a bit," I lied.

Deep inside I felt the familiar agitation that often accompanied a wave of nightmares. It felt like storm systems rushing in one after another, an anxious feeling that knotted my stomach and left my palms sweaty. Given what Julia had experienced in recent weeks, I did not want to wake her in the middle of the night when she needed her rest, and I knew it was for the best that I remained downstairs pretending to work on compositions until the feeling passed.

Julia gave me a peculiar look. "What is it?" she asked.

I forced a smile. "Thinking," I answered.

I could tell she wanted more, but she didn't press for a more elaborate answer. "I love you," she said before she retrieved our children and sent them off to wash their faces, brush their teeth, and change for bed.

Eventually the house quieted, Bessie joined me in the dining room where I spread out my work and indulged on sweets Ruby had made once Julia walked upstairs to what was now our bedroom.

I made myself a cup of coffee despite having no desire to drink it. The aroma alone reminded me of Madeline. I suspected if she had spent the night in my home rather than staying with her daughter, she would have undoubtedly joined me in the dining room and looked over the music I had finished. She was the only one who ever took interest in my compositions, and on many nights, without an invitation to do so, she pulled up a chair and kept me company.

Bessie gave an exaggerated sigh as she looked up at me with her pitiful eyes. It was her way of asking why we were not already upstairs and fast asleep in bed.

"Go on," I said with a nod.

Bessie rolled onto her side and sighed again, apparently deciding to stay loyally at my side.

I looked through Amelie's letter again and read the last two paragraphs where she mentioned Moon.

Six months after you left Moon in my care, she had a surprise. We named her daughter Eclipse. She is the spitting image of Moon and my children grew up riding her everywhere. She is still with us and in decent health considering her age. I think you would like her.

"Moon, you little tart," I muttered to myself.

The floor in the hall creaked, and I looked up from the letter in time to see Lisette peer into the dining room. She saw me, gasped, and quickly stepped out of sight.

Out of instinct I covered the right side of my face and looked away from where she had been standing a moment earlier.

"Lisette?" I questioned. I could still hear her breathing and knew she still stood outside of the doorway.

I drew my hand from my face and saw her peek around the corner. She looked at me apologetically for a moment. "I did not know you were awake," she said softly. "I did not mean to interrupt."

"No interruption," I answered.

She nodded and shifted her weight as she offered the slightest of smiles.

"Is Alex keeping you awake?" I asked. I looked at my pocket watch and saw it was past two in the morning.

Lisette slowly shook her head. She stared at me, a peculiar, somewhat nervous look in her eye. Before I could send her back to bed, she walked through the doorway, took three steps, and came to a sudden stop.

"Do you believe in monsters?" she blurted out.

The fear in her eyes caught me off guard much more than her question. I assumed a new house with different sounds than she was accustomed to left her sleepless and wary of her surroundings.

"I do," I answered.

She took another step forward and clasped her hands, her eyes wide as though she had clearly expected her question to be dismissed rather than answered. "You do?" The fear in her eyes turned to curiosity.

I nodded and motioned for her to take a seat, which she did readily. She perched like a little bird on the edge of the chair and looked at me, clearly fascinated by my admission. Sometimes compared to Alex I forgot she was only a few months older than him and not years. She stood taller than him and had much better manners, as she displayed with her perfect posture beside me at the table.

"Do you believe in monsters?" I asked as I shuffled through my work and looked at her from the corner of my eye.

Lisette pursed her lips. "Sometimes," she answered at last. She leaned to the side and pet Bessie on the head before she leaned closer and whispered, "I have seen them before."

Her words piqued my interest. I had seen monsters as well, and I had been the monster more often than I wished to admit.

"Is that what woke you?" I asked as I stopped shuffling papers and looked at her at last.

Lisette hesitated. She started to reach for Bessie again, but the dog stood, stretched, and walked into the kitchen where she sat at the back door and waited to be let out.

"Excuse me," I said as I stood and walked into the kitchen. Bessie squeezed past me and trotted down the ramp Alex and I had built for Charles.

"There is a monster I see at night," Lisette continued once I turned my back to the doorway between the kitchen and dining room.

I hadn't realized she followed me, but I stood quietly and nodded without looking directly at her. I had a feeling if I turned my attention to her she would shrink away without saying another word.

"In dreams?" I asked over my shoulder.

"Yes." Her voice sounded almost breathless, as though there was not enough air in her lungs to speak another word.

I could have easily discredited her fears and told her that those were nothing more than fantasy. I could have gruffly told her to return to her bed at once, but I knew that at her age-and even still at mine-those creatures were hauntingly real and often did easily disappear from memory.

"Sometimes I cannot wake up," she said quickly, like the monster she spoke of was at her heels and he was desperate to outrun him. "It pulls me into a dark place and there are worms sticking out from the dirt and bugs crawling over me, and one moment my mother is beside me and then...then there is a hand over my mouth and she is gone and all I hear is the monster breathing over me, daring me to scream. The tree branches start to split, the ground opens up, and the monster pulls me into the earth."

When I turned to face Lisette she had tears in her eyes. I met her gaze for a half-second before I turned my attention back to Bessie, who was sitting on the ramp scratching her neck instead of relieving herself.

I could not bring myself to face Lisette as I feared I was part of her nightmare. The scenario she described sounded far too similar to the night in which Julia had hidden her daughter in the cellar while I strung up Louis and slowly strangled the life out of him.

Lisette had been so young at the time that I honestly did not think she would remember anything of that night let alone be plagued by her cruel father's death at my hands.

"But sometimes," she continued softly. "The monster, it is a man."

Bessie finally wandered back into the house, sauntered past me, and made her way down the hall and up the stairs.

I left the back door open for a long moment and stared out past the stone fencing to the garden where I had killed that bastard of a man who beat his wife and molested his own daughter. I would not regret killing Louis, not ever, but I was remorseful that my future daughter had heard the commotion and found herself haunted by his demise.

"Monsters come in many forms," I said at last. My own words made me shiver.

Lisette moved to stand beside me and touched my arm, which startled me. I shut the back door and turned to face her at last, unsure of what explanation I should provide.

"The last time, just before I woke up, you were there. You picked up your violin, and the monster exploded into ash when you started playing, like wood in a fire." Her tentative smile turned into a genuine grin. "You saved me."

I grunted, wondering what her dream said about my ability to play the violin.

"Do you think this means he is finally gone?" she asked.

For her sake, I hoped she would forget that night. I hoped she would not suffer a lifetime of dreams where she was covered in insects beneath the ground with a monster breathing over her. I knew well how it felt to wake suddenly, a scream caught in my throat, the creature in my nightmare bearing down upon me.

"There are no monsters allowed in my home," I told her. "They would have to get past not only me, but Bessie and Aria."

Lisette's cheeks turned red and she swung her arms back and forth. A giggle escaped her lips and she scrunched her shoulders as she looked at me and considered how utterly ridiculous a team consisting of a basset hound and one-eyed kitten were when it came to battling monsters. If nothing else, I hoped she returned to her bed with a dream of Bessie and Aria protecting her from harm.

Lisette motioned for me to come closer, and I bent at the waist. She hugged me quickly and yawned when she stepped back. Her eyes appeared heavy, her posture more relaxed.

"Are you awake because of the monsters?" she asked innocently enough.

My nightmares were far more complicated than hers. "I am awake because I wished to read my letter again. And because there are cookies," I added lightly.

Lisette's lips parted. "Are you allowed to have cookies this late at night?" she asked. She yawned again and rubbed her eyes.

Her question amused me. "Indeed."

She looked quite skeptical, but still leaned in closer and whispered, "I will not tell Mother."