A/N It's literally been years since I've written any "pleasures of the flesh" for Julia and Erik, so here we go. Some moments without interruption for them. (As for the length of time in the story, it's been a little over 3 weeks since they were married. )
Chapter 36
Lisette came out of her room, quietly hugged both of us, and said she would join Alex in his studies for the morning. She made no mention of our late-night conversation and neither did Julia or I.
"I won't be gone long," she promised Julia.
"Uncle Charles usually keeps Alex for about three hour at a time," I told her.
Lisette's eyebrows shot up and she blinked. "Then I will spend three hours learning," she said with a resolute nod of her head. Her lips pursed. "And then…?"
Julia twisted to face her daughter. "What do you have planned?"
"Music?" she asked tentatively as she looked from her mother to me. "Will you play?"
Julia squeezed my knee under the dining room table. "How about this evening, sweetheart?"
"That would be wonderful," Lisette agreed.
Apparently it was not actually my choice whether I wanted to play or not as my wife and daughter had decided I was a monkey trained for their amusment.
"Thank you, Papa."Lisette looked at me before she left the dining room and blew me a kiss as she shrugged her shoulders. I offered a knowing smile in return before she dashed out the back door.
One by one, Julia gathered up all of the letters and brought them into the parlor. We sat side by side as we often did over the years in our relationship, enjoying one another's company while reading or simply engaging in conversation.
Despite my desire to believe our attraction was merely physical, Julia and I spent far more time sitting together than in intimate embraces. Sometimes I wondered how many hours Julia spent bored nearly to death listening to me grouse over critics and my work when composing was stagnant. Perhaps the reason she so often made desserts for me over the first four years was to keep me quiet.
I held one of the notes loosely in my grasp and studied Julia as she read the letters from my uncle. I thought of how many times in the past I found myself reading the same sentence over and over as I paused, looked up at the woman beside me, and attempted in vain to return to the words on the page.
So often she would touch my arm, lean into my chair, and show me a paragraph from her book or ask me a question about something completely unrelated.
The first time she had leaned against me I remembered how she smelled like sandalwood and felt soft and inviting. I stared at the side of her head rather than the page, nodding even though I was distracted by her presence.
I doubted she ever knew how my tongue knotted when she was in such proximity, how I followed the movement of her lips as she spoke and made every attempt to look her in the eye and follow her fingertip along the page even though I had no idea what she was saying.
It seemed like an eternity since we had sat together reading, but I still felt the flutter in my stomach when she glanced at me. I hoped that sensation would never end, not for as long as we shared our lives together.
"Did you know your uncle included a separate letter to you almost every time he wrote to his son?" Julia asked as she finished the note in her hand.
We had been reading for almost an hour. Given that most letters were no more than a page front and back, Julia had read four since leaving the dining room. It took me longer to read through them than Julia as I had lived each moment described and certain details forced me to pause and look away.
"No, I did not," I answered. "But he often looked at me when he wrote and I never knew why. I suppose he was deciding what to write."
Julia leaned over and showed me the letter she was reading. "Look, it says right here," she said as she handed me the note.
My dear nephew has looked over twice as I sit thinking of what to say next. Perhaps I should tell him every detail I write of him is true and that he means more to me than he will ever know. He is more of a son to me, just like you and Matthew. He would not believe me, at least not yet. By the time he is with you, I hope that if my letters to him are not enough that you, Joshua, can convince your cousin that what I say is true.
"What does yours say?" Julia asked as she took the letter from me once more.
She had not read any of the ones addressed to me first, but I handed them to her willingly. Most were simply recollections of what we had done that day accompanied by a series of tangents related to his time at sea, women he had met when he was younger described in very thorough detail, and often descriptions of the trees he sat beneath or other information that filled the pages.
"Mostly ramblings," I said as I turned the page over and started on the last few paragraphs.
I would be damned if the very first line on the back didn't say Now enough with my ramblings.
His words made me smile. For all of the pain I had experienced, he seemed to always know what to say or how to approach me. I looked around the parlor, almost expecting to see him standing in the doorway watching me with his pipe dangling from his lips as he nodded.
Erik,
You will not tell me how long your feet have been blistered. When I ask you directly, you merely shrug. I do not know why you think I would leave you behind, and yet I am acutely aware of why you fear being abandoned.
We do not know each other as we should and I regret that I have been a stranger to you for so long. A Shadow, as I heard you whisper. When I look at you, you lower your eyes. In time, I hope to earn your trust.
Your feet will heal first, but in time I hope the rest of you follows. You are a remarkable young man. Eventually your full potential will not be denied.
I love you, my son. By relation you are my nephew, but in my heart you are much more. I mean that sincerely.
'Uncle' Alak
We had been on the road for only a brief time, but before then I had never worn much less owned shoes. I had almost forgotten how I was barefoot even in dead of winter, how callused and rough the soles of my feet became in the summer and how they cracked in the cold, leaving behind footprints in the snow marred by blood.
The shoes my uncle had given to protected my feet from sharp rocks and hot roads, but since my feet had never been confined before, the leather rubbed against my heels and toes until the blisters were rubbed raw. I had not wanted to tell him, and when he saw me with the shoes removed, I feared his reaction.
Rather than berate me, my uncle helped me toward a stream and insisted I soak my feet before carefully bandaging the wounds without once appearing upset with me. I had become so accustomed to being treated as an object rather than a child that I did not know how to react to his kindness.
I skimmed through his letter a second time and regretted that I had not made more attempts at conversation. If I had known we would only have months together, I would have looked him in the eye and asked more questions-at least I hoped I would have. I also wondered how he knew I referred to him as a shadow, but assumed I had whispered the word to myself when I thought I was alone.
Julia had finished reading the next letter and made a small pile on the table between us of ones for me to start.
"He has an amusing sense of humor," Julia said as she tucked the letter back inside the envelope. She shook her head and chuckled to herself.
"What did he say?"
"The goose eggs," she answered.
I had no idea what she was referring to and had fallen behind by several letters before I would catch up. Still, I took the letter Julia finished, hoping whatever he had written would lighten my mood.
Joshua,
Forgive me if my penmanship is worse than usual, but a full ten minutes has passed, possibly more, and I cannot stop myself from chuckling.
There was a goose nest left unattended and Erik went to steal an egg or two for our next meal. I warned him that the mother was nearby, but he ignored my advice, as boys his age are prone to do, and crept toward it, grabbed two eggs.
If only you could have seen him, this remarkably tall young man crouched low to the ground. I could see the smile on his face and knew he thought he had gotten away with his crime.
Before he could proudly show me his treasure, the goose returned, hissing and flapping her wings in warning. I of course stood and walked toward him, but instead of running back toward me, he sprinted uphill with the goose on his back pecking at his head. His arms flailed, the goose honked and clung to his shirt, and he scrambled to escape in vain.
I tried to tell him to turn around, but he could not hear me or decided not to listen. Whatever the case, he managed to duck under a low branch and dived into a bush, which saved him from the goose's wrath.
It was quite the show. Once he returned, really no worse for wear, he showed me the eggs. Given his valiant efforts, I insisted he eat them himself, but despite my words and my rude behavior in laughing at his unfortunate plight, he shared with me.
The very best part of the whole ordeal is he swore he ran for at least fifteen minutes, however, start to finish, it could not have lasted more than twenty seconds. I will let him tell his story the way he desires. Fifteen minutes it is.
With Love,
Your Father
I looked across at Julia, who was still smiling.
"It was longer than twenty seconds," I protested. "Perhaps not a full fifteen minutes, but it certainly felt that long."
Her smile turned into an outright grin. "I am sure it did."
"And another thing," I continued. "I did not run toward him because that would have required crossing a very slippery path across a shallow stream and I knew if I attempted to run I would fall and that damned bird would peck me to death."
Julia released a laugh. "I can picture you. The whole thing, I can picture you as a boy with a goose on your back."
She tried to cover her mouth to stop herself from laughing, then fanning herself with her hands, but nothing worked.
"You are terribly amused," I said. There was no denying I had started to chuckle as well as I thought of the incident and my wife's uncontained laughter.
"Don't look at me," Julia said with tears in her eyes. Now that she asked me to not look at her, I fully stared at my wife as she continued her fit of laughter. She sounded as though she had run out of air. "You're making it worse."
"Indeed, Julia," I muttered. Keeping a straight face became impossible for the two of us and at last I looked away from her.
For the duration of my plight I had been terrified, but once I made it under the bush the goose flew back to her nest and forgot I existed. Out of breath, I turned onto my back and saw my uncle doubled over on the opposite side of the stream with his hands on his knees. When he looked up at me, he shook his head and slapped his knee.
"My uncle laughed as well, just as hard as you are now," I said.
Julia eventually caught her breath. "I do apologize, I am not trying to be rude."
"I remember my uncle very distantly yelling to me to leave it alone, but I shook my head, grabbed two eggs, and heard the goose hiss. By the time I turned around and considered placing the damned eggs back into the damned nest, the damned goose was on top of me."
Julia began laughing all over again, and seeing her amusement made me laugh at the memory. She stood and once again fanned her face with both hands as she exhaled hard.
From a distance I suppose it looked rather amusing for a tall, gangly boy to sprint away while a wild goose bit him in the shoulders and the back of the head.
"He told me that my arms were flapping and it looked like the two of us might take flight," I said with a chuckle.
As my uncle had stated in his letter I had no injuries-aside from perhaps my pride.
"I thought it was going to chase me forever," I said with a sigh. "I don't know how I forgot about the day. Perhaps the goose got me in the brain."
With her arms around my neck, Julia kissed me on the cheek and gave me a firm squeeze. "It is good to see you remember something with fondness."
"I would not say I recall that goose with fondness," I grumbled.
"I suppose not." She nuzzled my neck and kissed me again. "Let's take a break," she suggested. Her voice had dropped considerably, which caught my attention.
I carefully folded the letter and returned it to the envelope. Once I stood, Julia gave me a curious smile and held out her hand to me. I kissed the inside of her wrist and watched as her cheeks flushed.
There was a familiar twinkle in her eye as she gave a playful tug to pull me from the parlor and into the hall. I studied her for a long moment, my eyes narrowed in an attempt to decipher the meaning behind her seductive gaze.
"What is it?" Julia asked.
"Three more weeks," I said. "Until you are healed."
"I'm surprised you don't have a countdown to the hour," she teased.
It was actually closer to two and a half weeks, but far be it from me to prove her right.
"That's not entirely what I meant," I tried to clarify.
She issued an over exaggerated look of doubt.
"Until we are able to travel," I said before pulling her closer. "Amongst other things."
Julia stood on the tips of her toes and kissed me once. "Well, I was hoping you meant when you could return to your marital duties." Her bottom lip protruded ever so slightly in a pout while her hand rested over my now rapidly beating heart.
"My duties?"
She nodded. "Your duty to please your wife."
"Not so much a duty as something that sustains my life. No different than breathing."
"Ah, I see," Julia answered as she looked me up and down.
"You intend to make it a very long and agonizing three weeks."
"Two weeks and four days." She smiled at me, her nose wrinkling and the corners of her eyes creasing in the most devilish way possible.
I kissed her harder, backing her into the hallway until she was pinned between my body and the wall. She laughed again, but this time it was different, more seductive and muffled.
"My uncle warned me about mythical creatures like you."
"Did he?" she said under her breath. The tips of her fingers played with my shirt buttons. "And what did he say?"
"He told me all about sirens luring men to their deaths."
Julia tilted her head back and giggled. "A siren? You are mistaken, my dear. You know I cannot sing."
I kissed her neck and she exhaled sharply against the shell of my ear. I could feel her breathing change and the way her chest heaved against mine. She looked up at me and swallowed as our eyes met, her pupils dilated and lids half-closed. Without me realizing it, the top two buttons on my shirt were undone and the fabric once against my flesh was replaced by the warmth of her touch.
"Right there," I whispered before I kissed her again and snaked my arm around her. She groaned softly, barely a sound at all, but it was there, coaxed from her lungs by our kiss. I pulled her closer and heard her breath hiss past her teeth. Her nails scraped against my chest and made me shiver with desire. "And again."
"Tell me what you mean," she insisted.
"The song is in your every breath and caress," I answered between kisses. "The way you inhale when I touch you and exhale when I pull you closer." My hand found its way to the back of her head. "The sounds you make, the way your breathing becomes harsh and your body tenses when you are close and have no choice but to…"
"Submit to my desires." Julia ran her finger along my lower lip and silenced me for a moment. One simple touch and I was weak in the knees for her.
We were both on the verge of driving one another mad and neither of us was willing to stop.
"And no one hears your song but me." I kissed her again, longer and deeper than before. Her fingers pressed into my shoulders, her hips ground against mine.
"You have satisfied me every time we have been together," she said breathlessly. "Every time. I did not know that was possible."
Her admission brought a smile to my lips. I could think of nothing but how I wanted her right there.
"Perhaps I was wrong about you being a siren," I said. "But you lead me to small deaths and I willingly follow."
Julia nodded in agreement. My forehead touched hers, our eyes locked on one another. "Then what am I?"
"You are like a finely tuned instrument in my hands," I said. Our fingers intertwined and I pulled both of her arms above her head. With my knee between her parted legs, she pursed her lips and stared up at me. "As any good musician who truly adores what he has, I should make certain I know each part inside and out."
"I have never been more interested in music," Julia said with a laugh.
As much as I wished to continue, I pulled away ever so slightly and stood upright. I brought her arms forward and kissed the insides of both of her wrists. "Neither have I."
The seductive smile remained on my wife's lips. She kept my hand in hers and guided me down the hall and toward the stairs.
"Julia," I said. It was supposed to be a warning, but I merely said her name.
She looked over her shoulder at me. "Come with me," she said.
My irresistible siren led me up the stairs to our bedroom. The space was noticeably lighter as she had changed the dark blue coverlet to a light green complete with decorative pillows. The heavy curtains were now lace. Perfume bottles, lotions, and jewelry graced my dresser.
Julia closed and locked the door and put her arms around me. "Kiss me," she whispered.
I did. I kissed her softly, feeling her tender lips against mine. Eyes closed, I lost myself in her embrace, in the sensation of her warmth. She giggled when I pushed her hair from her face and when I nearly tripped over my shoes as I kicked them aside.
"We can't do this," I said, making every attempt to be reasonable. My desire to be with my wife was curbed by my fear of harming her. "And if I spend one more second like this…"
"Shhh," she whispered. Her dress fell away from her body, joining my clothes on the floor. "Kiss me again."
I did as she requested and felt her guide me toward the bed. I sat and she leaned forward, her arms around my neck until I pulled her into my embrace and she fell on top of me with a laugh of surprise.
Julia straddled my hips and I smiled while unabashedly drinking in every bit of her. We were agonizingly close to one another, flesh to flesh but not close enough.
She smiled as she looked down at me, her hazel eyes blazing in a way I had never seen before. Leaning forward, she planted her hands just above my shoulders and kissed me again. Her hips rose with the movement, back arched when I wanted to settle her lower.
Her swollen lips left mine and she kissed my neck and chest. I laid back and appreciated the view of her body at an angle, the curve of her hips and the slope of her back.
"Julia," I said again as I ran my hand along her spine. Again it was meant as a warning, but my voice was as strained as the rest of me.
Her gaze trailed down my body and she smiled as she looked me over and noticed how much I wanted her. I felt my breath hitch as she turned her head and looked me in the eye briefly. I followed her gaze as she allowed her fingers to firmly grasp hold of me in a way she had not done in weeks.
I groaned, looking from her hand to her face. With a ravenous smile she kissed me intimately, her breaths against my hips, the feel of her lips on my flesh stealing the air from my lungs.
My head tipped back and eyes closed briefly. I reached for her, smoothed her hair with my hand and released a ragged breath as I felt her mouth against me.
"I have missed the feel of you," she said. Each breath felt like fire against me, the most delicious flame. She kissed my stomach and the insides of my thighs, igniting every bit of longing within me. "The heat of you." Her lips found their way to me again, in a way that tightened the very coil wishing to be released. "The taste of you."
She didn't speak for a long moment after that as she focused all of her attention on my need for her.
I spoke softly between harsh breaths, between the rise and fall of my chest. I told her how much I wanted her, how I wished to satisfy her while she gave me no choice but to fully submit to her.
At last I felt the pleasurable release from the steady buildup and exhaled sharply, a groan escaping my lips. Nothing else existed in the world other than my wife slowly kissing her way up my boneless body.
I reached for her hand and kissed her knuckles, wishing I could do so much more. She sat up, moved to lay beside me, and rested her head on my chest.
"You are far better a woman than I deserve," I said once I found my voice.
Julia looked up at me with a devilish, satisfied smile. She kissed my chest again and brought my hand to rest against her hip.
"Sometimes." Her smile widened and she tapped against my chest with her fingers again, over my heart that was still wildly beating. "And now that I have made my way into here, I have no intention of ever leaving."
"If I could satisfy you right now," I started to say.
"You will," she replied before I could finish. She sighed and closed her eyes, her arm wrapped around me. I stole another look at her, same as I did when we sat beside one another for years doing nothing more than reading. The flutter returned, an undeniable feeling of love for the woman I married. "I know you will."
