CH 66

An hour later, Bessie and I returned to a quiet home. We jogged most of the way back as though somehow this would make up for the forty extra minutes spent outside of the house.

I walked tentatively through the door, sweat on my brow and lungs burning, and unhooked her leash. Once I pulled off my mask and mopped my forehead, I peered down the hall, fully expecting I had arrived in time for a duet of ear-piercing wails to start up again.

Instead, Lisette peeked her head out of her bedroom and gave me a scrutinizing gaze that reminded me of Madeline. "Shh!" Lisette hushed me, despite not a single sound coming from my lips.

I stared back at her, quite perplexed by the silence that greeted me.

"They're asleep!" she loudly whispered.

Julia walked out of her daughter's room empty-handed and grinned. "Sound asleep," she said proudly. "Xavier in the baby basket and Audrey in Alex's old bassinet."

"How did you manage such a feat?" I questioned.

My wife offered a sly smile. "Surely you don't expect a woman to divulge all of her secrets?"

Immediately after Julia finished speaking, Alex burst from Lisette's room and grinned at me. "Father! You should have heard Audrey burp! It was louder than me! Then she yawned and fell asleep. Mother said she must have swallowed too much air."

Julia looked at Alex from the corner of her eye and shook her head. "You would simply burst if you kept a secret, Alex." Despite her words, she still put her arm around our son and hugged him tightly.

Alex pulled his shoulders up to his ears and gave a sheepish grin while Julia ran her fingers through his hair. "You said it was impressive," he pointed out.

"So I did. Why don't you ready yourself for bed?" Julia suggested.

Alex gave a nod, turned on his heel, and ran down the hall, pausing only long enough to stick his tongue out at Lisette before he continued to the water closet.

"My apologies for staying out so long," I said to Julia.

She looked from me to the clock. "You're typically out for an hour. Although you don't normally return so out of breath."

"I saw Phelan," I said. From the corner of my eye I noticed Lisette duck back into her room.

"You returned to the gallery?" Julia furrowed her brow.

"No, he was...out," I said, realizing I had no idea where he had come from in such disarray and where he had intended to go. "He is visiting on Sunday."

Lisette poked her head out from her bedroom door and looked wide-eyed at me with a grin on her face, clearly satisfied that her note had worked as she intended.

"Visiting here?" Julia asked.

"At two in the afternoon."

"How lovely," Julia said as she proceeded to walk up the stairs to our bedroom and motioned for me to follow her.

"I'll be up in a moment," I said.

Julia nodded. "Whatever you're doing, be quiet about it. Audrey is asleep in Alex's old bassinet in his room and Xavier is with Lissy. He should be asleep by now."

I walked lightly into Lisette's room and found her sitting cross-legged on her rug while Xavier slept in a woven basket with a lace blanket, which had been set in the middle of Lisette's bed. Lisette mouthed he is sleeping, then held her index finger to her mouth.

The floorboards groaned beneath the weight of my steps and Lisette popped up from the rug and backed up into a rocking chair, which scraped against the floor. Tiny blue-gray eyes slit open. The baby yawned, his face scrunching up as he decided whether or not he wished to cry.

Instinct alone carried me across the length of Lisette's bedroom where I lifted Meg's son from the basket and settled him into my arms. There I stood, swaying back and forth as he yawned again and thankfully closed his eyes. Lisette dramatically held her hand over her heart and sighed in relief.

"Your invitation was accepted," I said quietly as I eyed Lisette, who had moved the basket and climbed into her own bed now that the baby was no longer on her mattress. I rocked back and forth, looking from Lisette to Xavier to make certain he settled.

"I hoped it would be."

"I must say, I was quite surprised you decided on writing a letter rather than drawing a picture like Alex, particularly without asking for permission before you invited someone into the house."

Lisette's lips parted, then quickly pursed. She bowed her head and bunched her fists around her quilt. Hesitantly, she nodded and looked away. "I was going to tell you," she offered meekly.

"Does your mother know she is responsible for cookies and sandwiches?"

Lisette refused to meet my eye. "I was going to tell Mother, too." She bunched up more of her quilt in her fists and frowned. "Are you upset with me?"

I inhaled and paused from rocking Xavier. Alex had rarely shown remorse when he ruined-or by Madeline's standards- improved my compositions with his artwork. On occasion he would cringe when slamming a door, but my son would not have asked if I was upset with him.

"Should I be upset?" I asked Lisette.

Lisette thought for a long moment, her hazel eyes scanning the room. "You should be a little upset, I think, because I did not tell you, but not a lot upset because you said you would like for the artist to be your friend, but you didn't know him. Now you can get to know him." She gave a single nod and looked me in the eye as she awaited my reply.

"Then I shall be a little upset," I agreed.

Lisette appeared absolutely crestfallen. She sank down into her bed and pulled the quilt up to her chin. Dozens of times I had seen her sit on the back step of her house with her chin down and arms folded. Louis sent her away frequently, demanding silence from a small child who simply wanted to sit with her father. So often she remained still as a statue while Alex rammed his train into toy soldiers at my feet. It was little wonder my son had grown so freely while Lisette took my words to heart.

"Good night, Papa," she murmured as she reached toward her night stand to turn down the light. She looked over her shoulder at me and frowned.

I placed Xavier into his bed and sat back in the rocking chair. The lamplight dimmed, and the golden glow was replaced by the silver light of the moon filtered through the tree branches outside. The window was wide open, the sheer curtains appearing to breathe in and out with the help of the breeze.

"No kiss tonight?" I quietly commented.

Lisette's eyes widened in the dark. "For monsters?" she asked.

I nodded. I could not allow her to sleep with the slightest memory of Louis' constant rejection in her mind.

"I didn't think you would want-"

"Tonight the monsters are…" out in full force, I nearly said. In the back of my mind I could hear Julia sharply say my name as she planted her hands on her hips and shook her head, horrified that I would say such a thing to our young daughter.

"The monsters are what, Papa?" Lisette breathlessly asked.

"Tonight the monsters are already wary of the full moon," I said.

"They are?" Lisette gasped. She narrowed her eyes then, skeptically considering my words. "Well, maybe not the werewolves…"

"Werewolves aren't allowed in France," I assured her with a great deal of authority in my voice. "Banned for the last two hundred years, at least."

"Oh! Yes!" Lisette excitedly wiggled in her bed. "I believe I read that in one of my books."

I nodded. "But the other monsters are already afraid of being seen in the moonlight." I looked from her to the window and she followed my gaze. I thought of Phelan leaving the window open even in the dead of winter, of saving part of his supper and sweets for me as he awaited my return. For nine years I had endured being starved, beaten, and convinced that I was the terrible monster while Phelan waited. Wondered. Grew angry and resentful. We both had done that, but for different reasons.

Lisette put her hand on my shoulder and sat up on her knees. Without hesitation she kissed my forehead, then dipped her head and waited for her kiss.

"No monsters," I said quietly. I kissed her forehead, grateful for the darkness to hide the tears in my eyes.

Lisette flopped back against her pillows and closed her eyes. "Good night, Papa," she said for a second time, her voice returned to its usual cheerful tone.

"Good night, Lisette."

The moment I stood, Xavier began to whimper. I lifted him from the basket and held him with his head against my left shoulder. He squirmed and I touched his cheek with the back of my hand. Swaddled and dressed in a wool jumper, I suspected he was uncomfortably warm.

"Sleep," I said to Lisette as I closed her bedroom door and took Xavier with me.

OoO

Julia had finished brushing her hair once I returned upstairs with Xavier. I unwrapped his blanket and folded it beneath him, and moments later he began babbling to himself. Julia sat with him while I dressed for bed and cooed to him while he kicked his legs to the sound of her voice.

"I don't know if I will sleep," I told her once the baby quieted and she moved him in the middle of the bed.

"Well, I hear Audrey, so I doubt either of us will sleep any time soon," Julia said.

I paused and turned my head to the side, hearing the half-hearted cries of the other newborn in Alex's room muffled through the closed door.

"Do they need to return to their mother?" I asked.

Julia shook her head. "They're simply being fussy. I'd like to give Meg and Charles another hour at least to rest."

No sooner had she opened our bedroom door that I heard Alex run up the stairs along with the louder cries of a baby as he delivered Audrey upstairs. Bessie followed dutifully behind him, her tail tucked and head hanging low in response to the baby's cries.

"Here," Alex said with his arms out as if he were carrying an explosive-which I suppose in a way he was. The moment Julia took Audrey from Alex, my son turned on his heel and ran down the stairs. Bessie followed suit and did not bother to look back as she retreated to the quiet of her favorite boy's bedroom.

"Audrey, you are simply dramatic, aren't you?" Julia cooed. "Just like Lissy when she was months old."

"Was Lisette a difficult baby?" I asked.

"No, not difficult." Julia continued to rock Audrey. "She just wanted held all the time. I learned how to eat with one hand rather than put her down in her bassinet and listen to her cry. Louis thought I was absolutely mad, bt I fashioned a swath of fabric to carry her on my hip while I cleaned the dishes and the house. We managed."

I remembered seeing Julia through the window carrying Lisette in a makeshift sling, chubby pink legs swinging back and forth as Julia carried her around the house. Julia didn't have the luxury of family nearby to help her raise a baby, and while Meg would lend a hand on occasion, she spent most of her free time with my son.

"What about Alex?"

Perfect, I wanted to say. In my eyes he had always been a flawless infant grown into the most loving, intelligent, and kind child.

"He was very loud," I said, which was also true. I had never faulted him for his yelling or penchant for banging objects together. "And fast. I had to change all of the locks on the doors so that he would not escape the house again."

"Again?"

"He managed to run out the front door once and Meg found him barefoot and shiver in the garden a second time." I couldn't remember the exact order of his escapes, but after the second time I made certain he could not simply reach for the door handle and wander off.

Julia looked mortified. "He was a handful."

"He is still a handful," I said over Audrey's continued cries. "According to Phelan, I believe I was once as inquisitive and enthusiastic as my son."

"Is that so?"

We could not hold a conversation over Audrey's deafening cries. "Here," I said, holding both arms out.

Julia looked skeptical at first, but handed me the unhappy, red-faced bundle. As I had done with her brother, I unwrapped the blankets and freed Audrey from the tight swaddle. Once she managed to kick and punch at the air for a few moments, she relaxed, opened her eyes, and looked around.

"I think they were both hot," I said to Julia. "The back of her head and neck is wet with perspiration, same as her brother."

"You may be correct," Julia said. She nodded in approval of my observation. "I didn't think of that, but perhaps they were both simply uncomfortable."

Audrey quieted down enough for Julia to place the twins beside each other. Julia slid into bed on her side and I climbed in on my side and practically dangled off the edge given the small amount of room. How two infants seemed to take up nearly half the bed was beyond me.

Julia turned on her side and propped herself up with her elbow as she smiled and looked me over in silence. Her gaze settled briefly on the scar from the night at the Wisteria Hotel.

"I'm glad you're home," she said. "And I'm happy you invited Phelan to visit on Sunday."

"Lisette invited him, actually." I explained the note our daughter had sent and Julia offered a deep sigh in response.

"I'll speak to her in the morning."

"There is no need. The matter has already been discussed and I have no desire to upset her over a simple mistake."

Julia nodded and turned over onto her back. Her eyes fluttered shut and she smiled. "Give me ten minutes to rest with my eyes shut and then I'll take these two back home."

My wife had barely finished speaking when her features relaxed and breathing deepened. I slowly sat up and studied the three of them in the moonlight; Audrey and Xavier with their shoulders touching and faces tilted toward one another and Julia with her arm protectively over their heads.

Ten minutes passed, then twenty. I thought of my brother lying awake in our room after I had disappeared, his eyes fixed on the open window as he waited for me to return. I thought of how I had huddled with my knees to my chest in the dark of the cellar and stared at the window grates night after night, weak with hunger and paralyzed by fear.

Xavier began to stir and Audrey became restless, but Julia remained sleeping. I pressed a kiss to my wife's forehead and scooped up both infants. The moment I reached the bottom of the stairs I heard the back door creak open and Madeline calling to Aria to come inside for the night.

"Here for your grandchildren?" I asked once I rounded the corner.

"Your wife is a saint for offering to take Audrey and Xavier for a few hours," Madeline said quietly. Aria circled around her legs and purred as Madeline fetched cream and poured it into a bowl for the cat. "Meg has been exhausted these last few weeks."

"So I have seen."

Madeline smiled as I handed her Xavier and proceeded to follow her out the back door.

"How was the gallery?" Madeline asked over her shoulder.

"Crowded."

"Did you have a nice time?"

"We did."

Madeline shot me a look of utter annoyance as I was not as forthcoming with details as she desired.

"I was considering attending the show with Javier."

It took me a moment to realize that she was referring to my tailor.

"I do expect you to return home at a decent hour, Madame. I would be quite distraught to read of a scandal involving the ballet mistress for the Grand Palace."

"I retired years ago," Madeline innocently replied. "I am simply consulted from time to time."

"Ah, but of course," I said dryly.

"That is the truth." She bristled and straightened her spine as she marched ahead of me.

"The truth? May I ask what the truth is concerning the sale of my music on those vulgar phonograph cylinders?"

Madeline whirled around, her expression turned to confusion as she thought a moment. "Your music sold last winter."

"Last winter?" I asked incredulously. I suspected I stared back at Madeline with a look equally perplexed. "I have no recollection of agreeing to this...this cancerous atrocity."

Madeline's eyes widened and lips pursed. "Well...I sold it on your behalf," she confessed.

"Why would you-"

"Because you were not yourself," Madeline blurted out. "You were not sleeping, you refused to eat, and you holed yourself up in your bedroom for days at a time. I did it for Alex should something happen to you."

I started to argue, but words eluded me. Instead I looked away and shook my head.

"I didn't know if you would ever come around, Erik," Madeline said. "I wanted your music to be heard and for Alex to have funds if he did not have a father. The royalties are paid out quarterly and if the need arose, Alex would be cared for in the way he deserved."

I shuddered at her words. Madeline had intended to give Alex the life I had not given him for months. Those past mistakes, plentiful as they had been, seemed so distant and yet I feared I would constantly be reminded of my wrongdoings. "You have overstepped, Madame."

"I merely wished-"

"And I sincerely I appreciate your overstep and boundless concern. However, for a woman who called a theater home and had the pleasure of a full orchestra playing nightly, I do question your taste with this damnable contraption."

"Such language!" Madeline turned as though shielding her grandson from my words. "And you and your disagreeable nature."

I shrugged. "A family trait, I suppose."

"I am never disagree-" Madeline stopped herself short and paused at the back door. "You're referring to your brother?"

It was strange to hear Madeline, the woman who had been a surrogate mother and confidant for nearly thirty years, mention my brother. Part of me felt as though I somehow betrayed the bond we had shared for so many years at the mention of a blood relative.

"I am."

"Did you see Phelan at the gallery?"

"We spoke for quite some time, actually. I've learned a substantial amount regarding my life before...everything."

Madeline searched my face. She put her hand on my arm and nodded. "Should I be happy or concerned?"

I narrowed my eyes. "If I said happy, would you honestly not worry?"

"Of course not."