CH 70

Phelan's note contained nothing substantial in nature. He gave me his address for correspondence, thanked me for attending the art show, and offered an apology to Lisette for missing lunch.

Two weeks had passed and we were making last-minute preparations for our holiday. Joshua had paid a visit the day before and said Phelan was out of the city, escorted to the train station with his bird and a single bag. The rest of his belongings had been shipped back to his home in Belgium and he was ordered not to return for at least six months.

Despite my disappointment in my brother's unexpected departure, I had greater concerns on my mind. Lisette's words still infiltrated my thoughts. Her real father had liked panna cotta, which was the only reason she had requested the dessert. Julia had abruptly changed the subject and allowed no explanation from her daughter, and now that two weeks had passed and the house bustled with last-minute preparations I hadn't brought it up.

Instead I paused frequently in the middle of my work, the nib of my pen dripping ink into the well, and thought of how Louis Seuratti did not deserve to be remembered. In the process I lost the inspiration for my compositions and abandoned my music in favor of taking Bessie out for a walk.

Lisette treated me no differently. She still skipped through the house and launched herself into her preferred seat with a book in her lap as I read the newspaper or looked over invoices and my checkbook. She still requested that I tuck her into bed and kiss her on the forehead before the lamp was turned down for the night. Still, I waited for Lisette to mention Louis again, to say that he gave better goodnight kisses or that his collection of books was more impressive.

"Alex has packed every shirt he owns and Lisette has two skirts and a dozen books," Julia said with a sigh as she stared into the trunk our children shared. She gathered up a pile of books and shirts and handed them to me. "Put these back, please. And tell Lissy to put the clothes on her bed inside the trunk unless she wants to wear the same skirt for two weeks."

I turned and found Ruby beside me. "Here, Monsieur Kire," she said as she took the heaps from me. "The man of the house should be relaxing."

Julia disagreed, and once Ruby marched down the hall, Julia set me with the task of moving the trunks to the curb, which I finished just as the carriage pulled up.

"Alex! Lissy! Come at once!" Julia yelled in a manner I'd never heard before. Her tone reminded me of Madeline issuing orders to ballet dancers, and instinctively I straightened my spine.

The carriage driver, a gangly young man with teeth that jutted out like a squirrel, stared wide-eyed at the open front door and whistled to himself as if he was relieved Julia's words weren't directed at him.

He jumped down and hefted our trunks onto the back of the carriage with impressive ease moments before Madeline, Meg and Julia rushed out the front door with Lisette and Alex behind them. Bessie managed to weave between all of them, leash dragging behind her as she made her way to my side.

"How many people are fitting inside?" the driver asked as he eyed everyone and scratched his patchy beard.

"Two adults, two children," I answered. "And a dog."

He shrugged, gave the ropes on our trunks a final tug, and opened the door, which Bessie took as an invitation to enter first. Julia gave me a look before she accepted the driver's hand and took her seat on the cushioned bench. Lisette and Alex hopped in next, taking their spots on either side of Julia.

I glanced back at Meg and Madeline. Meg grinned and waved to everyone peering through the oval carriage windows while Madeline looked as though we were being sent to our collective executions.

"We will return soon enough," I promised her as I left the carriage driver holding the door.

Madeline nodded, her bottom lip quivering. "I know."

"I assure you Alex and Lisette will return in one piece."

"It's not them," Madeline answered. She grabbed my wrist and firmly squeezed.

"A fine performance-" I started to say, but my words were cut off as Madeline threw her arms around me and into an unexpected embrace.

"I worry when you leave," she sniffled.

"When was the last time I…" My voice trailed away and Madeline squeezed me tighter. The last time I had left Paris I ended up in Persia without her knowledge and didn't return for three years.

"You've absolutely nothing to worry about."

"I'm drawing far too much attention," Madeline muttered against my chest, but she made no attempt to let go. "Be careful."

"Mother," Meg warned. "Audrey and Xavier will be awake any moment now."

Madeline took a deep breath and straightened her spine. With a nod, she wiped her eyes and looked up at me, forcing a smile.

"Two weeks," she said.

"Feed the cat," I said sternly. "And make certain she doesn't run off while we're away."

"Of course I will feed the cat."

"She enjoys receiving attention first thing in the morning and late at night."

Madeline shook her head at me. "Is that truly your only concern?"

I thought a moment and smiled back at her. "Do not elope with Senor Brerro."

Madeline blushed profusely and pinched my arm. "Shame on you!" She looked past me at Julia. "You will keep an eye on him?"

"Always," Julia promised.

I returned to the carriage and sat across from Lisette, Julia, and Alex. Bessie jumped onto the seat beside me and gazed up with more adoration than I deserved. She looked quite pleased to have me to herself while Julia sat squished between children.

It took twenty minutes for the bustle of the city to give way to open space. Alex and Lisette pressed their faces to the glass and stared wide-eyed at the scenery.

"Do you remember this?" Julia asked as she leaned toward Lisette.

Lisette shook her head.

"You were four when we visited your Aunt Lucia." Julia pressed a kiss to her daughter's head. "We were on holiday for a month, just you and me."

"Have I been on holiday, Father?" Alex inquired hopefully.

I shook my head. "This is your first time."

Alex nodded. "I wish to remember every single tree," he said.

An hour later, I was the only one still awake. Alex and Lisette both leaned against Julia, who slept with her head tilted back. While they napped, I studied the farmhouses with fields of sheep and grazing cattle dotting the landscape in between small towns. Briefly I closed my eyes, but the constantly jostling and an overly active mind kept me awake.

My thoughts were drawn to the tarnished memory of my uncle and the brief time we had spent together. We had walked for what seemed like an eternity in my youth but what in reality had been several weeks. I had always wondered how far we had actually traveled, and looking at the map of France from Amelie's home in the small town of Tomages seemed impossibly far to travel on foot. Given our meandering pace, I doubted we would have reached Paris before winter and most likely would have been in danger of freezing or starving to death.

Perhaps my uncle had not meant to save me at all. Perhaps it was his intention to abandon me far from home in an unfamiliar landscape, my fate decided by the cruel hand of nature.

My nostrils flared. I stared out the window at an old man and a younger boy. The man held open a bag while the boy clung to a tree branch and picked off ripened plums, which he tossed into the bag. The boy waved as we passed, a toothy grin on his round face.

Despite the lack of a relationship between my uncle and my brother, I could not deny that my uncle had been good to me. He tolerated my stubborn, combative nature and patiently navigated the turbulence that came with an adolescent on the verge of manhood. Although my uncle had snapped at me on several occasions, he had never physically harmed or turned his back on me. Our time together had not been perfect, but those months in which I had gotten to know him had meant the world to me. I had loved him more deeply than I'd ever loved anyone or anything, and even now, my Uncle Alak was still one of the people I cherished most.

The carriage came to a stop and changed horses and drivers shortly after noon. The new driver said we had made excellent time and that he expected us to be stopped and comfortably put up for the night in Rouen before supper. With any luck, the new driver said, we would be there in time to see a performance of The Marriage of Figaro.

Alex made no attempt to hide his disdain for the mere thought of sitting through an opera.

"I think we shall pass," I said.

Archie Leach owned a grand palace of a home not far from the opera house in Rouen. Why he owned a twelve bedroom estate that, according to the butler, he had stayed at only a handful of times in the last three years was beyond me, but the pristine home with its marble foyer, tiled halls, and a wood paneled sitting room with a brand new piano, proved an interesting resting place for the night. The moment we walked into the foyer, Julia had bent and whispered to our children, "Do not touch anything, do you understand?"

Alex and Lisette gawked and nodded, swearing upon their lives that they would indeed tip-toe through the lavish halls.

Long windows graced the wall of the sitting room facing the gardens with double doors that led out into a meticulously kept maze of box woods and rose bushes that created a rectangular path that surrounding a reflecting pool and two statues of women with vases. There were fish in the reflecting pool and hummingbirds flitting through the flowers, which made Lisette shriek in delight.

The tranquil retreat reminded me of the gardens atop the Opera House, a magnificent playground and quiet space I had savored in my youth and an unmatched sanctuary to watch the city streets below. When the darkness of my lakeside home felt suffocating, when I was restless and tired of the shadows, I sat in the open air and watched the sun set on a bustling city.

"Monsieur Leach hopes the piano pleases you," the butler stiffly commented as I walked around the instrument, my fingers caressing the smooth, polished wood. "He had it newly delivered two months ago in anticipation of your stay."

I hadn't played a piano in many years as there simply wasn't enough space to accommodate one in any part of my home save for Madeline's old bedroom, which now belonged to Lisette.

I rolled up my sleeves, flexed my fingers and sat on the bench at the butler's insistence while Lisette and Alex ran through the garden with Bessie racing alongside them. They had far too much energy given that they had been confined to a carriage for the majority of the day.

The smooth, cool keys sent a zip of excitement through me as I tested the notes with a composition I had yet to finish. I took a breath and exhaled, feeling the anticipation of the music at my fingertips ignite my nerves.

At Dusk, I had tentatively entitled my work. Inspired by fireflies in the back garden, it included eight rests at the start-"the blink" as Alex had called it.

Julia, who had been watching our children play through the open doors, turned as I started to play and smiled at the familiar tune. Hands folded, she closed her eyes and listened to me play.

In the back of my mind I envisioned an outdoor concert, the shadows of a summer night ablaze with dozens of bursts of light, the way the insects silently called to one another on a warm breeze. To my right, two maids paused outside the door to listen, their necks craned as they kept a respectful distance.

"Is it really the composer?" One of the women whispered to the other. "Monsieur Kire?"

"That is what Monsieur Leach said."

"In the flesh," I replied, glancing at the two of them from the corner of my eye.

They took a careful step back, both of them blushing profusely now that I had overheard their conversation.

"My apologies, Monsieur," the younger of the two said with her eyes cast down. "My cousin said that you were quite gifted in playing any instrument."

"Archie is your cousin?" I asked.

"No, Monsieur." She dipped into a curtsy. "His fiance, Mademoiselle Ruby Dubois. Monsieur Leach is a very generous man offering us employment here."

"Ruby is your cousin?" Julia asked as she stepped forward.

Both young ladies bobbed their heads in unison. Now that I looked them over, I realized the two maids must have been sisters.

"You both resemble her quite a bit. You have the same delicate features," Julia said. She glanced at me. "Don't they?"

"Yes," I answered even though I didn't quite understand what she meant by 'delicate' features. They were young, fair-skinned girls with blond hair and rosy cheeks. If anything, they looked like Meg Giry and half the girls in the ballet fifteen years ago.

"We simply adore Ruby," Julia said. She looked expectantly at me.

"She has been invaluable to our household," I said before I began to play again.

Polite applause followed my unfinished composition. The two maids- Alba and Alaina-spoke briefly with Julia until the butler cleared his throat. Both young women skittered away followed by the butler, who said he would inform us when supper was prepared.

"I apologize for the disruption," the butler ruefully said before he marched out of the room.

Truthfully I enjoyed the small audience of two maids, the butler and Julia, who came up from behind me and wrapped her arms around my neck once we were alone. Her warm breaths on my flesh made me shiver.

"This place is beautiful," she said with a sigh. She kissed my cheek and stood upright.

"How many homes does Archie own?" I asked as I turned to face Julia.

"I've never asked. I knew he and Meanie shared a home in Paris and that he has a flat in New York. And the homes on the beach…"

"The Leaches are everywhere," I muttered.

"Archie has been very generous," Julia pointed out.

I stood and offered my arm. "When he returns to Paris, I'll have tickets for the upcoming opera season delivered to him. And for every season that follows should he decide to attend."

Julia grinned as we walked into the garden. "He would like that."

We walked arm-in-arm through the grounds down white gravel paths shaded by mature trees. Alex stood on a wrought iron bench on the other side of the reflecting pool and grabbed a plum off a low-hanging branch, which he handed to Lisette while Bessie ran around them in a large circle for no other reason than apparently she had a burst of energy.

Julia and I found a place partially shaded by fruit trees where we sat while Lisette and Alex continued to play. Bessie, with her tongue lolling from the side of her mouth, trotted over and plopped down at my feet where she remained blissfully exhausted, her chest rapidly rising and falling with each breath.

I glanced around at the topiaries and clear blue sky, smelled the sweetness of peaches and plums ripe at the end of the season, and felt the warmth of the sun on my flesh as the branches swayed and light filtered through the leaves. With Julia's hand in mine, I brought her fingers to my lips and kissed her gently.

"What was that for?" my wife asked with a wide grin.

"For the woman whose love provides more light in my life than the sun."

It was a terrible line, something befitting of an awkward, lovesick whelp crooning to a girl who would not bat an eye in his direction. Julia, however, giggled to herself and beamed as if I had spoken masterful poetry. She leaned into me, her lips against mine, and offered a lingering kiss.

"I adore you," she whispered. "And I'm glad to see you enjoying yourself."

"Time spent with you is always enjoyable."

"I could sit out here all day," Julia said. "Enjoy a cup of tea, perhaps read or crochet while you composed. It's a shame the house stays empty for so long. Doesn't it seem like a waste?"

"Perhaps I will offer to purchase the property from Archie."

Julia grunted. "And move into the country?" she asked lightly.

I scanned our surroundings. The large courtyard was encompassed by a wrought iron fence and tall, neatly trimmed bushes that kept the outdoor space private. There were chairs set up beneath a pergola for entertaining and outdoor dining.

"We could spend summers here," I suggested. "Away from the bustle of the city."

Far from the streets where I hid my face and wandered the streets after dark. Hours and hours away from the city I had been delivered to by gypsies, where I had been hunted for weeks after I'd escaped from the traveling fair. Constantly I looked over my shoulder, always keeping at a careful distance with my face obscured.

Now that we sat in the open and I was at liberty to remove my mask if I so desired, I realized how limiting Paris had been. I didn't necessarily need to stay within the city limits to compose and sell my music. I could work from virtually any location and continue to correspond with theater managers and musical directors from all over the world.

"Are you considering this?" Julia asked. She entwined her fingers with mine. "A summer home?"

"Why not?" I asked with a shrug. "We are roughly a nine hour ride from Paris, there's plenty of room and a full collection of instruments at my disposal, and Alex and Lisette seem quite entertained."

Julia followed my gaze to the plum tree, which Alex and Lisette had decided to climb. The branches were low enough and extended at a gentle curve that made it easy for the two of them to sit. Eventually they would be accompanied by Audrey and Xavier as I was certain if we spent summers in the country, Meg and Charles would visit and undoubtedly Madeline would keep a watchful eye over everyone.

"Would you miss Paris?" Julia asked.

"No," I answered honestly.

Julia didn't appear surprised by my answer. "The smell of ripe fruit reminds me of home," she said. "Catching fireflies with my sisters. Watching my brothers ride the horses through the fields. I didn't think I would ever miss that, but I suppose I do."

"The garden reminds me of the Opera House rooftop," I said. "No one ventured up to the garden often, particularly early in the morning and of course during performances. I could sit for hours undisturbed, my legs dangling over the side of the building, and watch the city wake at dawn or the streets fill at their peak in the afternoon." I squeezed her hand. "I sometimes dropped coins from the ledge to startle people."

Julia feigned surprise. "You wouldn't."

"I did." I chuckled to myself. "I became quite proficient at dropping a coin onto anyone wearing a hat."

Julia threw her head back and laughed. "I assume Madeline had no idea?"

"Not even to this day."

Julia looked at me then, her gaze searching my face as her thumb gently stroked the length of my fingers. "You look different," she said. "More...at ease."

"I feel it," I admitted. No one here would remember what I had been. "Here I am simply the composer, not the ghost."

"You've always been the composer to me," Julia said.

That was all I wished to be to Julia, Alex, and Lisette. Now that Alex was older, I worried that he would catch word of the Opera House disaster, of what had truly transpired between his mother and myself and the vicomte. I had been ashamed of who I was my entire life and had no desire for my son to carry such a heavy burden of being the opera ghost's bastard son. And Lisette? She deserved better. They both did-and as long as we stayed residents of Paris I would worry that dots would be connected and my family would suffer for my actions.

Eventually the butler returned and led us into an emerald green dining room with white trim and a table that could have comfortably seated a dozen people.

We ate, and as we exited the dining room, the butler asked if I would be interested in playing the piano or one of a dozen violins Archie had acquired. Adjacent to the room with the piano, there was another, smaller chamber that contained an array of instruments from flutes to horns to a harp.

"Does Monsieur Leach play all of these?" I asked. I knew he played the violin, but I couldn't recall him playing other instruments.

The butler shook his head and sniffed. "I do believe he acquired this collection for your visit."

I raised a brow. The full orchestra worth of strings, brass and percussion must have cost a small fortune.

"Won't you play something, Papa?" Lisette asked.

"Your waltz, perhaps?"

Lisette nodded readily and clapped her hands, practically vibrating with excitement. I scanned the room, seeing the two maids at the door still as statues, Alex lounging with his feet over the arm of a chair looking bored as ever, and Julia seated beside him with her fingers running through his hair.

"Any other requests?" I asked.

"The overture from The Fox Pursues," the butler blurted out, raising his hand. He looked somewhat astounded by the sound of his own voice. "If you would be so kind, Monsieur."

"Most certainly."

"Anything from On Summer Nights," Julia said. "But particularly the one where Jewel meets Mauro."

I nodded and smiled. The piece I had written specifically about Julia.

"Mozart," Alex mumbled.

"Oh, Alex," Julia said with a chuckle.

I settled my gaze on Alba and Alaina, who glanced at each other in surprise. After a moment of whispering loudly to one another, they both agreed that they would enjoy whatever I decided to play.

I played for nearly an hour. The two maids asked Alex to dance with them, which he did without question. The butler tapped his fingers against the door frame and smiled to himself while Lisette curled herself into Julia's lap and closed her eyes.

At the end of the night, Alex and Lisette chose to sleep in the same room despite having an entire house full of bedrooms to choose from while Julia and I retired into an enormous master suite with a canopy bed in the middle. I had merely glanced around the room as I freshened up before supper, but while Julia bathed and changed for bed, I took in the sheer size of the space.

"This room is practically the size of our house," I said.

"They left chocolate for us," Julia announced from her bath.

I popped a piece of candy into my mouth and walked onto the balcony until Julia appeared in a plush robe with her hair in a towel.

"It's so quiet here," Julia whispered as she slipped into bed beside me.

I kissed her temple and listened to her breathe. Her hair was still damp from bathing, her skin warm, soft and fragrant against my bare torso.

"Despite the whispers under the blankets from two insolent children a room away, crickets and frogs outside and Bessie snoring, it's very quiet."

Julia reached up and caressed the rough stubble on my jaw. She narrowed her eyes and shook her head at me. "You're enjoying yourself."

"So I am."

"Tomorrow will be wonderful," she said with a sigh.

With any other subject I would have argued a half dozen ways of how tomorrow could have been a complete disaster. I had every reason in the world to believe something would prevent me from seeing Amelie Batiste once more. There was no aspect of my life in which I had not suffered, but I simply nodded and kissed Julia's temple again and forced myself to believe her words.

"Are you nervous?" Julia asked.

"Of course I am."

While everyone dozed in the carriage, I had mentally rehearsed how I would greet Amelie when I saw her again. I wondered if I would be able to pick her out from the crowd. I wondered if she would have children and a husband at her side and how the dynamics would change. I would have preferred meeting her again on my own terms, preferably in my own home where I could control my surroundings.

Julia nuzzled my throat and entwined her fingers with mine. I expected some encouraging words of wisdom, but instead Julia tilted her head up and caressed my jaw again.

"I've never seen you with stubble."

I grunted and gave the slightest shrug of my shoulders. "I'll shave in the morning."

She looked me over in the dark, her index finger slowly stroking my cheek while her gaze settled on my lips. "I like it. Very...rugged."

Her observation made me chuckle. "Befitting of an adventurous holiday in which we are surrounded by luxury."

She nudged me from my side onto my back and sat up, biting her lip. "It's like sharing a bed with another man," she whispered as she gave the drawstring of my pajamas a tug.

"Another man?" I questioned as I watched her hand disappear beneath my waistband.

Julia knelt and kissed my chest, her hair skimming along my bare flesh. The sensation made me shiver with anticipation. "A very rugged man," she teased.

I stroked my hand down the length of her spine and bunched the fabric of her nightgown in my fist. "This comes off," I hoarsely commanded.

Julia offered a devilish smile. She sat up, allowing me the perfect view as she tore off her night dress and swung her leg over my hips. Her eyes left mine and I saw her look down her own body at her soft belly and generous hips. The fire in her eyes threatened to dim.

I placed one hand firmly on her left hip, the other trailing up her stomach and over her ribs to cup the fullness of her breast. My thumb circled her nipple as she rose up slightly and helped me wriggle from my pajamas. Flesh against flesh, I greedily dug my fingers into her curves.

"My beauty," I murmured. "A true work of art in the flesh."

She reached down, guiding the hardened length of me between her welcoming thighs. Her head tilted back, her lips parted as she groaned and lowered onto my hips.

Julia moved slowly, deliberately, her body performing a private dance atop mine. She leaned forward and swept her index finger across my jaw and cheek, then against my lips in the most exquisite, maddening form of pleasure. I wanted to feel her, taste her, enjoy every ounce of her flesh.

"Here," I said as I pulled Julia closer, feeling her breath on my face before her lips at last met mine. Both of my hands gripped her hips, guiding her, urging her.

"Erik," she whispered. I crushed my lips to Julia's, momentarily silencing her, but she gently pulled away. "The tin, it's in the trunk." She paused and swept her hair over her shoulder. "Somewhere. I think. I can't remember if I packed it this morning."

To hell with the damnable tin, I wanted to say. Instead, I let out a soft chuckle and attempted to kiss her again.

"I'm…" Julia pursed her lips. "Quite capable." She cringed. "That isn't the correct word," she added when my eyes narrowed. "More likely to conceive is what I mean. For the next four days."

Julia situated herself beside me and raked her fingers through the ends of her hair. "I have it marked on the calendar at home, but didn't think of it until now. I wanted you to know since you don't want...you wouldn't want this." She paused and took a deep breath. Several seconds passed and she visibly tensed. "Are you going to say anything?"

I scrubbed my hand over my face and looked her over. "There is a lack of blood flow to my tongue. It's probably for the best I say nothing until I've fully recovered."

Ignoring what I had hoped to be a lighter tone, Julia blew air past her lips and turned her face toward the balcony overlooking the gardens we had walked earlier in the day. "Are you upset?" she asked without meeting my eye.

I turned onto my side and placed my hand on her bent knee. I studied her for a moment, the way her hazel eyes flitted back and forth, searching the moonlit darkness.

"No," I answered simply. I squeezed her knee. "I am not upset."

Julia continued to focus her attention on the balcony. We had left the doors propped open for the cool night air to waft in, and the breeze made her suddenly shiver.

"Come here," I whispered, pulling her into my grasp. Julia stretched out against me, her hand settling in the middle of my chest.

"Do you really want a summer home in the country?" she asked.

I thought a moment, picturing the vibrant sunsets and the palette of colors spread across the gardens, the sound of Bessie chasing our children through the halls and the smell of fresh air perfumed by fruit trees and the dozens of different flowers in bloom.

"I do." I draped her leg over mine. There would be more possibilities, more freedom. "Would you?"

"I would live anywhere with you."

"In a hut in the woods?"

"Sounds cozy."

"In a single bedroom flat?"

Julia narrowed her eyes. "Too cozy."

I studied her for a moment in the moonlight. "Then we will spend our summers in the country. If not here, then we will find a suitable home for our needs. Perhaps at the end of summer we will decide to stay."

"Forever?"

"For as long as we desire." I searched her eyes and trailed my hand down her back. "What do you desire, Julia?" I murmured.

I knew what she wanted. Julia kissed me again and trailed the pad of her thumb along my stubbled cheek. "Shall I look for the tin?"

I drew her closer, leaving no space between our outstretched bodies in the dark. "No," I answered against her throat. "I will not release you for even a heartbeat."

"But-"

"I know."