The legalities: I do not own any of the Expendables franchise (characters, places, and objects especially) and this is mostly au.Rated M just to be on the safe side.

Hope you enjoy!

Prompt: "If someone gets nosy, just…you know…shoot 'em."

"Shoot 'em?"

"Politely."

It had been two months. Two months since Jacoba had almost retired from the Expendables. Two months since Gunnar and Jacoba had begun to show more affection toward each other. The others were getting frustrated with the two of them, however. Not because they were going overboard with showing affection. It was because they weren't. Apparently, the guys thought that the two should be even more affectionate towards each other rather than continuing to act as they had before, just with less fighting.

After having to endure multiple frustrating conversations with the guys on the topic, both were at their wits end. Before their first date, Gunnar and Jacoba had set some ground rules. Neither had had good relationships in the past, mostly just sex (in Gunnar's case) and a forced engagement (Jacoba did not like to talk about that "adventure"). Taking it slow was the best idea they had. Everyone said that they had been practically together since they met anyways. Why not just start from there?

As Jacoba let herself into Gunnar's house for their date of a relaxing movie on the couch, she let out a huff. She loved her best friend to death, but Lacey was just as bad, if not worse than, the guys. Locking the door, the Amazon turned around to see her lumbering man leaning against the couch, smirk on his face. "That conversation again?"

She sighed. "Worse. It was Lacey this time."

Gunnar leaned back slightly. "Can't they all just take our explanation? We are doing things our way!"

Jacoba walked over and put her arms on Gunnar's shoulders. "Well, we'll just have to keep telling them. And if someone gets nosy, you can just, you know, shoot 'em."

Gunnar hummed as Jacoba started nuzzling his neck. Once her words sunk in, he furrowed his brow and looked down at her, inquiring, "Shoot 'em?"

She leaned back to look in his eyes with a shit-eating grin on her face. "Politely."

Both laughed slightly before leaning in and kissing, starting off their date night right. The guys and Lacey could wait until later.