The legalities: I do not own any of the Expendables franchise (characters, places, and objects especially) and this is mostly au.Rated M just to be on the safe side.

Also, please don't be afraid to write reviews. I would love to hear from you all!

Hope you enjoy!

Prompt: "I hate you."

"Why? I'm lovely."

Barney hung his head. He had been sitting at the desk that Jacoba had insisted that they put in the backroom of the hanger for going over potential clients or marks, looking over some information they had recently gotten from Church when he heard voices coming from the main part of the hanger. Getting up, he walked over to the door to see Jacoba, Toll Road, and Caesar walking towards the armory while bickering about something. As he leaned against the jam and folded his arms, Barney began to piece together that they were bickering about the efficacy of automatic weapons, more specifically Caesar's MPS AA-12 Sledgehammer. He had hung his head at the point when Toll muttered something that sounded like "ten seconds," prompting Jacoba to hide a snort under a cough and Caesar to glare at his partner.

Deciding to break them up (for now), Barney cleared his throat, causing the other three to turn in his direction. "What the hell are you all doing here?"

"Nothing!"

Jacoba rolled her eyes at the negation in stereo. "You both know that that is not the way to convince him." Turning back to Barney, she smirked. "Those two idiots decided that they needed to 'teach' me how to shoot, since I'll be joining the team soon."

Barney furrowed his brow. "Hasn't Gunnar been taking you to the range once a week for a while now?"

"Yeah, but these two idiots didn't want to listen to me."

Toll squinted and growled at her. "I hate you."

Jacoba turned back to him, eyes comically wide and an innocent look on her face. "Why? I'm lovely."

They all turned towards the door out of the hanger as they heard someone begin to chuckle. Leaning against the door jam was the Swede himself, shaking his head as he smirked and continued to chuckle. Pushing off and walking over to Jacoba, Gunnar leaned his arm onto her shoulder while still smirking. "That sounded like a conversation between the two of us. You ready to head to the range, doll face?"

Jacoba rolled her eyes and pushed him off, smirking as she did so. Instead of answering him, she grabbed his arm and began to pull him towards the door. Toll and Caesar looked at each other, then at Barney, then at the door.

"Wait for us!"