The legalities: I do not own any of the Expendables franchise (characters, places, and objects especially) and this is mostly au.Rated M just to be on the safe side.
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Hope you enjoy!
Prompt: "I thought you were my friend."
"I am. But it is my duty, as a friend, to tell you that you suck at this."
Jacoba groaned and leaned her head back against the wall behind her desk at Tool's Tattoo Shop. She had just been sitting there, working on some research for Barney and Tool and minding her own business. Next thing she knew, there were extremely loud voices coming from the front of shop. When she looked up, she saw Barney and Lee walking through the door, arguing about something or other as they did so. Hence the head on the wall.
To her slight surprise, the two friends didn't seem to notice that she was even there, just continuing their argument. Deciding that she would be better off minding her own business, Jacoba turned her attention back to her research, keeping an ear out just in case she needed to intervene. Believe it or not, she actually had had to intervene a time or two when whoever was fighting got a little too rambunctious.
About twenty minutes later, Jacoba looked up to see that Tool had joined in the argument, though it was now a bit more subdued a definitely quieter than before. Deciding that she should maybe listen in now, she leaned forward and pretended to be reading the papers in front of her.
"That's insane, Christmas."
"Well I don't hear you coming up with any better ideas, Barney."
"Did you know that some people never listen to others?"
Jacoba furrowed her brow as she shot a look over at the three. When she did so, she saw that Lee and Barney were shooting similar looks over in Tool's direction. Said man looked unperturbed as he looked right back at them."
"Tool."
"Yeah, Barn?"
"Were you just trying to be a mediator?"
"Well yea, why?"
Lee and Barney shared a look before the latter turned back to the tattoo artist. "You should leave that to Jacoba."
Tool looked affronted. "I thought you were my friend."
She could see Barney's eyeroll even from where she was. "I am. But it is my duty, as a friend, to tell you that, for one, you suck at this and, for two, you need to leave this to Jacoba."
Jacoba scoffed, causing all three men to turn towards her. "And it is my duty to remind you that you're all drama queens."
"How long have you been there?"
"The whole time. Now, are you lot going to come help me with research? Because if you aren't, I need you to leave. I'm busy!"
