Wowza! Today marks 1 year since I started posting this series! Thanks to all who keep reading. With all of the prompts that I'm in the process of writing (and all the interludes I have already written) I will have enough for a total of at least 3 years. So, let's get to it!

The legalities: I do not own any of the Expendables franchise (characters, places, and objects especially) and this is mostly au.Rated M just to be on the safe side.

Also, please don't be afraid to write reviews. I would love to hear from you all!

Hope you enjoy!

Prompt: "Hand over the girl."

"Not going to happen."

This mission was the bane of her existence for today. That's what Jacoba had just decided. She closed her eyes as she remembered the lead up for today.

It was supposed to have been an easy mission. Church had, in fact, said so this time, as opposed to a member of the team, a fact that she loved immensely, since he was already was not her favorite person. In fact, when he had brought the mission to the team, she had looked him straight in the eye and told him (in no uncertain terms) that, if he had just jinxed them with that comment, she was going to fucking punch him. But that was neither here nor there.

They were charged with infiltrating a (supposedly) empty warehouse to extract any leftover data the previous owner had left when they fled the police months earlier. In theory, it should have been a quick, two-person mission; one to stand guard outside and one to infiltrate and extract. As far as she knew, Gunnar was still outside and doing what he was supposed to, pretending to work on his truck and watching the door for her. She had gotten in and moved around easily enough, still sneaking in and what not (she seriously did not trust Church) and gotten to extract all of the data. What none of them had counted on was that the previous owner and a couple of their security guards had decided to come back (probably to prevent a data theft or to hide in plain sight) and had found her just after she had infected the system with a virus (or ten).

So, now she was here, tied to a chair in some dark inner office, hoping beyond hope that Gunnar was making his way to her (she had said the code word before hiding her comm). The guards had attempted to beat the truth out of her, the usual sort of thing, but she had kept her mouth shut. Opening her eyes again as she sighed, Jacoba glared at the three men she had encountered, as though silently daring them to beat her again. It was apparently a challenge that the previous owner seemed to take personally, as he came over and pulled her head back by her pony tail with a sneer.

"You are going to tell us everything, bitch."

Jacoba rolled her eyes and glared up at him again. "I see that your delusions of grandeur are presenting fully."

Before he could retaliate, a new (to them only) voice sounded from the doorway. "I'm only going to say this once, assholes. Hand over the girl."

All the men turned to the doorway to see Gunnar standing there, his arms crossed and glaring. Both of the guards started advancing towards him, one of them saying, "Not going to happen."

Five minutes later, both guards were unconscious in front of him and their boss in the same way with Jacoba standing over him, having smashed the chair she was tied to on him.

"They took you by surprised, didn't they?"

"Shut up, Gunnar. Just cut me loose so we can grab my comm and get the hell out of here, ok?"

"Alright, let's go."