The legalities: I do not own any of the Expendables franchise (characters, places, and objects especially) and this is mostly au.Rated M just to be on the safe side.
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Hope you enjoy!
Prompt: "This is all your fault."
"I hope so."
"You bitch!"
Jacoba rolled her eyes, relaxing her stance to give her an air of uncaring (a stance that she had perfected long before she had even met the team) as she turned back towards the men behind her. The team had just finished taking down a small militia (of all things). Jacoba and Gunnar had been tasked with infiltrating the militia, with Jacoba acting as the demure and shy girlfriend to the broody Swede. One of the leaders (who went by Digger) was very vocally tentative about her possibly being included in the workings of the militia, but they had had their eyes set on getting the Swede to join up with them, so the rest had ignored his misgivings.
"I'm talking to you, bitch!"
That shout confirmed to Jacoba that it was, in fact, Digger who was shooting off his mouth. She raised her eyebrow and tilted her head to the left, staring him down as Church's men finished putting the handcuffs on the last of the militia members. Once Barney had sent the all-clear to Church, these men (who had been on stand-by) had come in to take over. But now, Digger just seemed to be focused on Jacoba, though he didn't actually seem to be wanting to say anything. "You know, in order for it to count as a conversation or talking in general, you have to actually be saying things, Digger."
Maybe she shouldn't have sassed him, since now he looked almost angry enough to break his restraints. But the barely hidden snorts of laughter coming from Church's men (and some of the other militia members) was definitely worth it.
"This is all your fault, you bitch!"
Jacoba's face split into an almost evil, creepy smile. "I should sure as fucking hell hope so." Seeing Barney and Church finishing up talking, both attempting to hide their own smirks at her sass (they were both failing miserably at that), out of the corner of her eye, her smile got even bigger. "Well, gentlemen, it's been swell. But these nice agents are going to take you to your new home away from home now. I'd say to have fun, but that's never really an option when Church is around." Ignoring the glares that Digger and now Church were giving her, she addressed the agents. "Take 'em away, boys!"
Suddenly, she felt a hand land on her shoulder. Looking up, she saw Gunnar looking at her, attempting to not laugh. "Amazon, you really know how to make enemies."
"Well, of course, Viking! It's my superpower. Now, let's go home."
