The legalities: I do not own any of the Expendables franchise (characters, places, and objects especially) and this is mostly au.Rated M just to be on the safe side.

Also, please don't be afraid to write reviews. I would love to hear from you all!

Hope you enjoy!

Prompt: "We have five people trying to kill us right now, what are we supposed to do?"

"Actually, it's more like eight."

"Oh, sorry I wasn't specific enough!"

It had already been another one of what Jacoba tended to call "Church's rather tiring missions." In fact, the team was smack dab in the midst of said mission still. Jacoba suppressed a groan as she ducked down behind a crate again, following Lee's path with her eyes as he swerved back and forth in an effort to lose the guards behind them. She then followed Lee's path, meeting up with him before they both continued on.

Church had jinxed them once again. He had sent the team in to obtain some data that the agency needed from a compound hidden in the Amazon Rainforest. The team had infiltrated the compound easily enough. It all went downhill a bit after they'd obtained the data. Jacoba and Lee had been partnered for this one, as they were the ones best suited to get in and out of the data storage room quickly. Once they had met back up with the rest of the team, the guards had found them. Which had led them to their current predicament.

Lee and Jacoba were finally able to stop for a minute while sitting between a stack of crates and a wall. Inhaling deeply, Jacoba turned her head slightly to see Lee out of the corner of her eye. "Alright, Christmas," she barely breathed, turning again to keep watch on the area next to her. "We have about five people trying to kill us right now. So, what are we supposed to do about it?"

She felt more than heard Lee scoff (their shoulders were touching and they were still attempting to be quiet) in response. "Actually, Amazon, it's more like eight."

Jacoba rolled her eyes and quietly scoffed. "Oh, sorry, Christmas, I wasn't specific enough! Next time, I'll count everyone coming after us, sound like a plan?"

"The sass isn't necessary, Amazon." Jacoba smirked; she could almost hear Lee rolling his eyes as he whispered back. "Come on, let's go."

Twenty minutes later, the two of them met the rest of the team at the plane. Jacoba was quick to the cockpit, handing off the USB she'd put the data on to Barney. She smirked as she turned to head back to the main part of the plane. "By the way, Barn, good luck with your partner." At Barney's furrowed brow, she snorted. "I may or may not have been sassing Christmas the whole way back." She walked back towards her seat next to Gunnar, smirking at Christmas as he stomped past her. At the questioning looks from the rest of the team, Jacoba started to laugh. "I'll tell you all when we're in the air. Let's go, old man!"