I'm afraid of everything staying the same or worsening
So what's the point of finding calm, when calm to me is unsettling?
Settle down, little kid, your bones are shaking in your skin
Go and try and take a breath, though nothing more, nothing less
Typical Story / / Hobo Johnson
It took some convincing, but I ended up agreeing to stay with Bruce while my apartment was being dusted for prints, and my locks are being replaced complimentary of my very embarrassed Landlord.
I was currently fighting the GCPD to release my property that was seized at Cranes Penthouse. If nothing else I would like to have my designer dresses back, most of which were gifts. He has close to 20k worth of my damn shoes I want those back too goddamnit. Of course, I hadn't paid that, I paid pennies for them in tiny thrift stores, and paid my dear tailor/cobbler friend to repair them.
I sighed as I hung up the phone, sick of the conversation with the officer and acquiesced that I would receive my belongings when the police were finished with them.
Will that be next week? Next year? Within the next decade??
I placed my head in my hands. It felt like nothing had been real since I opened my door for Crane that night. It felt like every moment was a new, more insane dream.
"Doctor Quinzel,"
I jumped, tensing as I made eye contact with the butler.
"I apologize, Miss," he said, a small smile, "Dinner is to be served soon, I was only coming to see if you would be joining Master Bruce today."
"I- uh." I swallowed, mouth surprisingly dry. "Yes, Alfred, thank you, I'll be right down."
The old man turned and left me standing on the balcony, frustrated.
I made my way to the table, unsurprised to see Bruce already at the table, reading a folder.
"You're so old," I remarked, taking my seat next to him.
He chuckled at me, "I was working," He said, "Which brings me to what I was hoping to talk about today,"
Alfred put plates in front of both of us, Slow cooked turkey, with two vegetable sides. I forced my nose not to wrinkle at the smell of the cauliflower mash, rather, I smiled and looked at Alfred.
"Looks delicious," I lied through my teeth. The living arrangements may be prime, but Bruce eats like he's training for a damn marathon all the time. First stop once I'm out is to buy the corner store out of Oreos.
"As I was saying," Bruce said with a smile, "I was going over some things at Wayne Enterprise and I think I found a job you would love. Its a position in our Elliot Pharmaceuticals project, which is focusing on a new treatment for psychotics-"
"Bruce." I interrupted, confused. "What do you mean? I'm going back to Arkham."
He seemed shocked. "Harley, I'm not sure that's-" he paused, taking a breath.
"Aren't you concerned how that would affect you personally?"
I avoided his eyes. "Bruce, if everyone affected by crime quit working with criminals in Gotham, there would be no one left to keep the doors locked."
"And the nightmares?" he asked, with concern in his eyes.
I flinched, not realizing that I was being so loud as I slept. Oh, Bruce. I thought with an internal shake of my head. The nightmares were here before you were, and they'll be here until I die.
"Are a natural side effect of the trauma that I have, and are already getting better," I said with a smile. "I'm sure you've noticed it's nowhere near every night."
"I still don't even like you moving back into that apartment, he knows where you live for god's sake,"
"And I don't think he's going to come after me again," I said with a look. "And if he does, everyone, from billionaire Bruce Wayne to the Bat will know what's going on, and will be quick to protect me."
Bruce pulled a face, "Maybe it isn't best to depend on the work of a lunatic in a costume, especially considering you work with them."
I laughed. "Bruce! I wouldn't think of you as someone so judgemental. And anyway, I like the Batman, even before he saved my life. He's doing something about the fuckin' monsters in this city. If people like him had been around when I was in college-" I stopped.
"Well, maybe things would have gone differently," I said, pushing the soft pureed vegetable around with my fork.
"Is that your professional opinion, Dr. Quinzel?" he smirked.
"Professionally?" I laughed and suddenly sighed. "Professionally, I would like to pick his brain a bit. See what kind of skeletons are in his closet. I mean, call me unoriginal, but I think it's childhood trauma."
"Oh?" Bruce said, looking mildly uncomfortable.
"Yeah, maybe something to do with the bats? I don't really know, but some kind of trauma, maybe losing a loved one to it? Maybe ex-military? He has some kind of training…" I mused.
"Next course, Miss?" Alfred said, laying a plate in front of me with a slice of cheesecake on it. Not just any cheesecake.
"Is this from Petes? On Slim Avenue?" I asked, smiling up at Alfred, recognizing the style of the Delis signature dessert.
"Yes, I had it delivered this afternoon, I heard you tell Master Bruce it was the best in the city, I thought it may be a nice night to have it."
"Thank you so much," I said, surprised to feel myself tearing up. "Oh, god, sorry, I don't mean to be so emotional, blame it on the abduction."
"No problem at all, Miss," the Butler said with a smile, making his way out of the room.
"I don't mean to make him uncomfortable," I said looking at Bruce.
He laughed. "I don't think you could make him uncomfortable if you tried. No, I believe he is trying to give us privacy, so we can continue to discuss why it's a bad idea for you to move back to the Narrows."
I rolled my eyes. "Easy." I said, "Remember I'm one of the big bad dangerous people you're warning me about."
"No, you aren't."
"But I could be. Born and raised in the narrows, to addict criminal parents."
"But you didn't allow that to become all you are!"
"So that makes me better than them?"
"No! That isn't-"
"I know that's not what you meant," Or at least that you wouldn't say it out loud if it was. "Okay, I've actually been considering buying a dog, maybe I can get a guard dog?"
Bruce smiled, "I love that idea, and I had already considered it. I found two companies that sell fully trained adolescent dogs for protection, and I can get you an appointment this week."
Shit. I smiled. "Sounds great!" Guess my dog isn't coming from the shelter.
"And when it comes to Arkham-"
"I'm not quitting."
"I can't believe they're even allowing you to come back-"
"They can't afford to lose another doctor, plus with my track record with the news I'm the best press release Arkham has had since the '80s."
"Well I wish you would just consider-"
"Nothing else is going to be stolen from me, Bruce."
After my very sharp statement, a heavy silence fell over us. "I'm sorry," I said softly. "I know that you're just concerned. I know that you think that this is bad for me, but Arkham? This job? Has been the one I've dreamt of since I was in primary school. I have had to fight like a dog to get here. I am not gonna just walk away. This is my life we're talking about, Bruce. This is my calling. I am good at it, better at it than anyone else. I don't even know if I can explain it- it's more than passion, it's-"
"Everything." Bruce finished. "It's everything."
After a moment he looked up at me, understanding in his eyes, "I apologize Harley I had no idea it meant so much to you, in that case, I support you doing what you feel that you need to."
"Thank you, Bruce," I said before gesturing to the cheesecake in front of him. "Now try the cheesecake! You never have anything sweet." I laughed. "I mean, you eat like a professional runner, it makes me feel like a total slob."
"No, no, you're lovely, I just tend to think of food as fuel." He said as a way of explanation.
I laughed again. "God, you did grow up rich."
The sun was hot, and as we continued our long drive out of the City and to the facility where I would be meeting their available dogs.
Fuck this is gonna be expensive, why the hell did I say that I would get a guard dog?? The answer of course was to get him off my back about moving back to my apartment, but god I couldn't have thought of anything else?
A gun would be cheaper. But guns are seen as taboo, only criminals could have a gun, you know? I rolled my eyes internally.
Bruce was driving his ridiculously expensive car, speeding in fact, so it wasn't like I had the option to fake car trouble and promise to "reschedule".
Fuck!
We arrived just ahead of our appointment, so we were offered coffee and pastries. Bruce of course had a black coffee and none of the pastries. I filled my cup halfway with cream and sugar, and I grabbed two apple cinnamon pastries.
I looked at the pictures of their powerful clients, lined up in the meeting room, most of the dogs were German Shepards, but there were Standard Schnauzers, and what looked like Rottweilers sparsely in the pictures.
"They have other breeds as well," Bruce laughed.
"You look like you've been sucking on a lemon."
"Yeah, yeah," I said under my breath, not hiding my annoyance at the cash I would be spending here today. How much are guard dogs anyway? Am I gonna have to split this on my credit cards?
"Mr. Wayne, Dr. Quinzel!"
I looked up to see two people had entered the room, a man in an expensive-looking suit, who had spoken, and a woman wearing a black uniform that looked almost militant.
His smile was sharklike as he shook each of our hands. "I am so glad you've decided to take this step in protecting yourself,"
Ugh, they got the car salesman out here.
"Thank you, yes," I said, smiling. "I'm sure you have heard about my recent scare, and I've been convinced that I wasn't taking my safety seriously."
"Well, I'm glad you've decided to come to us, we have quite a selection for you to choose from."
They walked Bruce and me into a room, where there were multiple trainers, calling their dogs to heel, then standing at attention.
"So, Doctor Quinzel, do you have any breed preferences?"
"No, I'm just..." I tried to think of anything to say, "I don't know." I laughed.
"Well, German Shepards and Belgian Malinois are our most popular option, but if you want something less intimidating, but still a strong breed for protection, there are our Standard Schnauzers...'
His voice faded as I looked at the dogs, all boring and fine. Then I saw them. Two of them, with big blue eyes, and wrinkled noses, the black and grey dogs were massive, nearly waist high on me in my flats.
"Oh, I see you've found our Cane Corsos." I looked at the man, questioningly.
"They're even-tempered, intelligent, and some of the most loyal dogs out there, these two are sisters."
"They're adorable," I said, honestly, looking back at him.
Bruce's eyes had gone slightly wide, looking at the dogs, "Uh, those are pretty big, aren't they?"
"Well, yeah, but look at them, they're perfect," I said smiling.
Bruce made a face, but laughed and said "If you're sure,"
I looked to the man and smiled, "So- for both of them, how much will that set me back?"
The woman smiled tersely, "65k each, but since you're willing to keep the sisters together I am willing to sign both away for 95k."
My eye twitched, without permission. Jesus H Christ.
65k for a goddamned dog?
"Do you take check?" Bruce piped up from behind.
Less than two hours later we're driving back to Gotham, two large dogs lightly sedated in their cages in the back seat.
"You always surprise me, and I don't know how I keep letting it happen." Bruce mused.
I shrugged, "I don't know, I'm just being myself."
"I know, that's what makes it so frustrating."
I laughed loudly. "Only for you."
Opening my front door with my brand-new key, I dragged one of the two crates into the main room.
"Jesus, Harley, you couldn't have gotten lighter pets?" Ed remarked, lugging the other crate.
"Hush up Ed, and let them out, I'll put the crates in my room."
We let them out of their crates, and I carried said crates to my bedroom, and places them on one side of my bedroom, adding the new fluffy pink dog beds I bought on a whim. They were so cutesy, like the pink collars Baby and Princess wear. Baby and Princess being my dogs' names, the slightly more grey dog being Baby.
"Jesus Christ Harley, is this a Roche Boboi couch?" Pam shouted from the next room.
"Don't know, but the bed matches," I shouted back, looking at the bubbly bed.
"You're joking-" she came into the bedroom. "Who paid for this stuff? That bed frame is 10k."
My eyes widened. "Whoa, I just asked Bruce to pick whatever- I didn't know he was gonna drop 10k on a bubbly French bed."
"Bruce? Bruce Wayne bought this stuff for you?" Pam's eyes widened, "Oh my god, Bruce Wayne is the 'friend' you were staying with- oh my god did you have sex?"
"No!" I said quickly, "Jeeze Pam, he's just a friend."
"Uh-huh." Pam said rolling her eyes, "I believe you think that."
Princess came up to me, knocking her head against my hand. I crouched down, petting her and kissing her head.
"God that dog is bigger than you."
"Yeah, yeah." I shook my head at her, and I stood.
"Hey, after I'm settled in and unpacked, do you wanna hit the gym? I haven't been in too long."
"Yeah, that sounds great, honestly, I'm too tense."
"Ugh, well before you buff ladies go, I was promised grub for lugging the mongrel."
I narrowed my eyes at Ed who had just entered the room. "Mongrel? Ed these dogs are worth more than you and me combined."
"Yeah, I never said they weren't expensive little beasts."
"They have attack commands, you know?"
Ed laughed before petting Baby on the head, who had been sniffing his hand curiously. "Seriously though, Harley, the new furniture is cool and all, but can we order Indian food now?"
I rolled my eyes, tossing my purse to him, "Use your phone, and my debit card."
"Cool, cool, what do you two want? Just the usual?"
"Actually, Ed, I want something a bit lighter today, I'll get what you usually get Pam, you know? The one with the rice cakes?"
"Sounds good to me too," Pam smiled at Ed, and he left to make the call.
"So."
"So," I repeated back, dread filling me as I watched her face get serious.
"I need you to tell me the truth."
"I have."
"No you haven't, and I understand why you haven't, it looks bad, but I need to know what happened."
"Pam…"
"Listen you don't have to tell me everything, but I just- please."
"Pam, it's the truth," I said with no hint of hesitation, or delay, openly to her.
"I know you slept with him, Harley."
"Pam-"
"And I don't mean now, I mean then. I never said anything because I was scared to bring it up, but you went out for lunch with him and didn't come back for two days. I know you had a crush on him and anyone with eyes saw how he looked at you. Just, just tell me that you aren't some secret psycho killer, crazy in love with a criminal- Okay?"
I blinked at her, before laughing. "Jeeze Pam, tell me how you really feel! You really think that sounds like me?"
"No- but, I just." her head fell into her hands. "I'm sorry. I'm talking crazy. I just- I've been having a rough few weeks."
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
"Maybe some other time, right now I just want to stop thinking about it."
I leaned in, wrapping an arm around her and walking her out of my bedroom into the living room.
"Red, if I was secretly a criminal mastermind, you would be the first to know, okay? Pinky Promise.
Back in his cell, J contemplated his options.
Escape?
Nah, too soon, he wanted things to cool down a little before he went out, didn't want to look like he was riding in on the Scarecrows coattails.
Injure another doctor.
But he wasn't looking forward to his next dose of drugs that would make his head painfully full.
Wait?
Also an incredibly dreadful option. Sadly, his patience had grown thin weeks ago, and he was feeling desperate for any amount of mental stimulation.
The good news about him blinding the good doctor last time was that the District Attorney's office seemed particularly sluggish in their movements regarding him, working to distance themselves from the case. Looks like I don't have to worry about Blackgate.
But he did have to worry about sheer boredom melting his frontal lobe, leaving him as conversationally stimulating as the window lickers they keep under lighter security.
God, I would give my left testicle just for a fucking smoke.
Just then, lunch was served, and he buckled in, glad that his life had been feeding him disappointment from a young age, so the pitiful plate of food in front of him honestly didn't bother him.
He wondered vaguely, whatever happened to the scary brunette in the hallway, wondered what she was up to.
Remembering her eyes left a strange feeling in Js stomach, a heaviness that refused to leave him, a feeling almost akin to dread in Js mind, though perhaps for most it would look more like Lust.
Jesus Christ. J slammed the heels of his palms into his eyes, pressing down until he saw stars flecking the dark background of his eyelids.
Well, she doesn't need to know that part. If they ever let her look at my case that is.
He figured she must be young, inexperienced, a resident, perhaps? That must be why she hadn't come to see him yet. Because she was fascinated with him, he had seen it in her eyes. She must be fighting to see him. He just had to wait it out until the doctors run out of randomers to Throw at him.
Those ice blue eyes, crystalized behind his lids, starting at him, as if daring him to come and get her.
Don't worry, I will. All good things, to those who wait.
