[The Rip Hardcore show is on; he is leaping through the trees]

Rip: "Now, remember, Rippers, if you want to hunt down critters, use the four D's: Droppings, Disturbances, Dens and Diet." [comes across a pile of poop and smells it] "Mmm...emu droppings. And it's still warm. With a little luck and my tracking bandanna..." [puts on said bandanna] "...I'll be eating emu stew in no time." [howls]

[It's revealed that Me, Varie, Lincoln & Linka and the younger sisters are watching it]

Lola: "Ew! Who is this poop sniffing weirdo?"

Lincoln: "Rip Hardcore is not a weirdo, Lola. He happens to be the world's leading expert in wilderness survival." [holds up his book with such a title] "And a pretty cool guy to boot."

Me: He is a great survivalist and he knows everything about survival. It was thanks to him that my family survived being stranded on a remote island 6 years ago.

Lana: You and your family were stuck on a remote island?

Laney: Wow!

Me: Yep. We were on a cruise in Indonesia and a Tsunami capsized our boat and Me, my mom and dad were stuck there for 7 weeks and it was a nightmare I never want to have again. It was thanks to everything I learned from Rip Hardcore that we survived.

Linka: Wow! That's incredible!

Lincoln: That's amazing!

Lily: That is an adventure all on its own.

Varie: No kidding.

Lola: "That sounded like an intense challenge."

Penny: I'm glad you're all okay.

Anastasia: Me too.

Me: Thanks guys.

Lynn Sr.: "Lynn Jr., let's go! You're late for Rugby!"

[Lynn comes down the stairs in her Rugby gear]

Lynn: "Think fast, Dad!" [chucks her ball at her dad] "AWOO!" [runs to the car]

Rita: "Lori, Carol, Leni, Luna, Gabrielle, Luan, hurry up! The school Open House started five minutes ago! Ugh, these kids. Where are they?"

[Vanzilla honks and it's revealed that the aforementioned daughters are already in; Lori waves to her mom]

Rita: "Oh. They're waiting for me."

Lynn Sr.: "Thanks for helping Lincoln take care of the younger kids today, J.D. You're really helping us out of a jam."

Me: No problem Mr. Lynn. I would help Lincoln watch over everyone here like they are my own.

Varie: Me too.

Rita: [looks at her watch] "We'll be back by 5:00. We are proud of you all for being so responsible."

[The parents leave and a commercial comes on a second later]

Rip: "Hey there, Rippers. My Hardcore Mall Tour is coming to a mall near you. Today..."

Robotic voiceover: "Saturday."

Rip: "...I'll be signing copies of my new survival guide at..."

Robotic voiceover: "The Royal Woods Mall."

Lincoln: [gasps] Rip is at the Royal Woods Mall today?

Me: Awesome!

Lincoln: I gotta go get my book signed!

Me: Yeah, Lets go.

Laney: But Lincoln, We need to be here and you have to watch us.

Lincoln: No worries Lanes. If we're home by 5:00, they'll never have to know. [to his younger sisters] Who wants to go to the mall?"

Laney: I've got a bad feeling about this.


[The mall; we are all waiting in line]

Lana: "Ugh. Lincoln, this is lame. Can't we go do something fun?"

Lincoln: "Right after we wait in this really short line to get Rip's autograph."

Lucy: "Is the really short line at the end of this really long line?"

[Pan-out to show the ridiculous length of the line]

Me: This line is REALLY long.

Laney: Maybe we can do something to pass the time.

Varie: Good thinking.

Lincoln: "How about we play a game? I Spy. I'll go first. I spy..."

Lisa: "Someone who is not keeping his sisters intellectually stimulated."

Tough guy: [laughs] "Burn."

Me: Shut up!

[Lincoln glares at him]

Lincoln: "How about 20 Questions? Lola, you first. Person, place, or thing?"

Lola: "Person."

Lincoln: [covering his baby sisters ears] "Alive or dead?"

Lola: [looks at her brother, observingly] "Alive...for now. But he's pushing his luck!"

Varie: Lola! That's not nice.

Lola: Sorry.

Lincoln: "Okay..." [takes out his yo-yo] "...how about we take a trip around the world?" [twirls it around and slips it right on the tough guy's eye] "Oh. Sorry." [takes his yo-yo back]

Lucy: "Lincoln, you've tortured us long enough. We're leaving."

[The younger sisters sans Lily prepare to leave]

Lincoln: [stops them] "No, wait!"

Flip: "Flippees for sale! Buy one, get a second one at the exact same price!"

Laney: Flip. Why can't he ever learn?

Me: Some people are just like that.

[Lincoln goes to the Flippee stand and gets some for his sisters]

Lincoln: "Okay..." [hands two to Lola and Lana] "...you two get raspberry..." [gives two to Lisa and Lily] "...you two get lime..." [gives one to Lucy] "...you get black grape..." [gives one to Laney] "You get cherry." [Gives three to me, Varie and Anastasia] "J.D. gets blue raspberry, Varie gets blueberry and Anastasia gets grape." [Gives one to Linka] "You get Orange" [gives one to the big guy] "...and a lemon Flippee for the good-natured gentleman in back of us."

Me: Thanks Lincoln. Blue raspberry is my favorite.

Varie: Blueberry is good.

[The guy takes a sip, but...]

Tough guy: "This isn't lemon. It's banana."

Lincoln: "Well, who doesn't love banana?"

Tough guy: [breaks out in hives] "People who have banana allergies!"

Me: Sorry we didn't know.

Varie: Lincoln you should've checked.

Lincoln: Sorry.

Laney: Don't worry sir. [Reaches into her backpack] I think I have an epipen in here somewhere... [Finds three epipens] Um. I don't think I have one for banana... Sorry.

Me: I got this Laney. [Chants an Incantation] Vestiga Piyona Serrisa!

Rainbow light fired from my hands and it hit the tough guy and cured him.

Tough Guy: Hey that was awesome! I'm all cured! Thanks kid.

Me: No problem sir.

Lana: "I finished my Flippee! I gotta pee."

Lucy: "Me too."

Lola: "Me three!"

Lisa: "Uh, I, too, need to see a man about a horse."

Lincoln: Uh, Laney? Can you hold our spot?

Laney: Sorry, I can't. I finished mine too...

Lincoln: [frantically thinking] "Uh...um..." [to the big guy] "Can you save our place while we take them to the bathroom? Please?"

Tough guy: "Sure, kid. No problem."

Lincoln: "Thanks. Let's go."

[They all rush to the bathroom]


[They come back]

Lincoln: "Thanks again."

Tough Guy: No problem kid.

Lincoln: "I'm really sorry about that."

Tough guy: "It's all right."

Laney gives the tough guy a lotion.

Laney: Here. This should treat the hives.

Tough Guy: Thank you.

Lady: [coming by with her signed book] "Oh, yes! That two-hour wait was so worth it!" [howls]

Scoots: "Two hours? Rip's my BAE, but nobody keeps Scoots waiting. I'm getting a soft pretzel." [drives off]

Linka: This is insane!

Me: I know.

Varie: I hope we get this done soon.

Lucy: "Forget it, Lincoln. We're done with this line."

[The train ride toots its horn, catching Lincoln's attention]

Lincoln: "Yes you are!"

[The little sisters are now in the train]

Lincoln: "All aboard!" [gets out a quarter] "It's my treat." [puts it in the slot and the ride starts]

Lola: "Lincoln, we're bored."

Lily: I love trains.

Lincoln: [warily] "Of course you're bored. You aren't wearing your conductor hats!" [gives them each a hat which only Lily likes]

Lola: "This is unsanitary."

Lisa: [sarcastic] "Oh, yes. This makes all the difference."

Lincoln: "Then let's go for the 20-ride special!" [puts all his quarters in the slot, causing it to shake a little]

Laney: Uh, Lincoln? Are you sure it's a good idea to put all those quarters in?

Lincoln: Of course it is Laney. And besides, you'll be there to watch over them. Later! [Runs back to the long line]

Laney: [Crosses her arms; sarcasstically] Oh wow. You're doing a great job being responsible, Lincoln. [She then notices the train getting faster]

Sisters: Wooooaah!

Laney: Uh oh! Hang on guys! [Holds on to a part of the train as it goes faster] Uhhh! I knew this was a bad idea! Okay, stay calm! I'll get you all out of here! Just remain seated while I find the- [She then smashes into the meter and everything goes black]

[Cuts to Me, Varie, Lincoln and Linka in the long line at the bookstore and we wait a while till we're next] "Yes! we're next!" [to his sisters still on the train] "Hang tight, guys! I'll be right back!" [goes in nervously]

Rip: "How's it going, guys?" [gets no response from Lincoln] "I, uh, see you've got a copy of my book there. Would you like me to sign it?" [still no response] "I'll just take that." [takes Lincoln's book and signs Your mate, Rip Hardcore in it and gives it back] "Rippin' to meet ya."

Me: It's a great pleasure to meet you Rip. I'm J.D. Knudson and I am one of your biggest fans. It was thanks to everything I learned from your survival skills that I was able to help my family survive on an uncharted island for 7 weeks 6 years ago.

Rip: (Shakes my hand) Way to go J.D. I'm proud of you. You have the making of a great survivalist.

Me: Thanks Rip.

[Lincoln scuttles out of the book store, and we follow him regains his nerves, and looks at his watch]

Lincoln: "Now we just gotta grab our sisters and get home."

Me: I sense a disturbance in the Force.

Varie: Yeah I sense it too.

Lincoln: [goes back to the train ride] "Okay, guys, now we can do whatever you..." [sees the train is gone] "Where'd they go?"

Me: The train is gone! [Sees Laney on the floor groaning] Laney!

We run over to her.

Varie: She's gonna be okay. Laney, are you alright?

Laney: [Woozy] Woah man... I had the strangest dream. I was on a speeding train with seven kids...

Lincoln: The kids! Laney, what happened?

Laney: [Confused] Laney? Who's Laney?

Linka: What are you talking about? You're Laney.

Laney: [Still confused] I'm sorry guys. You must me confused for someone else.

Me: Oh man. I've seen this before. Laney has amnesia.

Varie: I know this all too well.

Me: Laney do you remember who I am? I'm J.D. Knudson. You got plant powers because of the Diamond of Gaia in Grand Venture State Park.

Laney: Plant powers? How could I have gotten... [She remembers and gasps] J.D.! [Hugs me] I remember now! I do have plant powers because of that! And Varie! We met at the park after that!

Varie: That's right.

Lincoln: Laney, Where are the other siblings?

Laney: Umm... Are you lost or something? [Rubs her head] Oh, my Head! [We notice the big red bruise on her forehead]

Me: Oh man! That must've really hurt!

Varie: That is a nasty bruise!

Lincoln: [Shocked] You do have amnesia! Oh, what have I done!? [panicking] Okay! Okay! No problem! [Looks at his watch] We still have an hour and a half to fix this! Okay, Laney. You have to remember, It's me. Lincoln.

Laney: Lincoln? What kind of parents name their son after some dead president?

Lincoln: Oh I am so dead.

Linka: These things take time Lincoln. Laney's memory will recover.

Lincoln: [keeps calm] "You're right Linka. Don't panic. Just follow the wheel marks." [follows them, but bumps into a janitor who is cleaning the floor with a floor sweeper] "How am I ever going to track them down?"

Me: That's it! [Looks in the book] Lets see here. "How to purify urine...how to build a fire with toenails... Ah! "How to track animals in the wild." With a little luck, my tracking bandanna, and the Four D's, we'll find your sisters in no time."

Laney: Sister's? I have sisters?

Lincoln: Yes Laney. 10 of them. All girls and I'm the only boy.

Laney: Only boy? How does that... [She Remembers something and gasps] Lincoln! [Hugs Him] I remember now! I do have a brother!

Lincoln: Yeah!

Laney: And I have 10 sisters!

Lincoln: Yeah!

Laney: And you're completely irresponsible.

Lincoln: [less happy] Yeah... But we're gonna fix this!

Me: We will help you remember!

Linka: Laney do you remember me? My name is Linka. I came here from a dimension where I had 11 brothers.

Laney: I don't remember seeing... [She remembers something and gasps] Linka! [Hugs her] I remember! You are my 12th sister!

Linka: I'm glad Laney.

Lincoln: [howls and begins the search] "Disturbances, dens, diet..." [notices something] "Oh! Droppings." [dips a half-eaten corn dog in the droppings and it disintegrates] "Just as I suspected: Lisa's chemicals. She can't be far."

Laney: [Still Amnesiac] Lisa? Is she one of my sisters you're talking about?

Lincoln: Yes. Remember? She's the genius one. Always making chemicals and inventions and solves complex math equations.

Varie: That's right and she's inventing new things that will benefit all of humanity.

Laney: Wow. She sounds like a University Professor. Are you sure she's my sister.

Lincoln: Trust me. [The trail leads us to the appliance store that a ton of people flee in terror screaming, revealing a robot created by none other than Lisa]

Lisa: "Greetings friends, brother and sisters. The devices in this store were highly inefficient. They only performed one task each. So I combined them into one appliance that can do anything."

Me: Awesome robot Lisa.

Lisa: Thank you.

Appliance Robot: [showing some demos] "CRUSHED ICE? PRESSED SHIRT?"

Laney: Speaking of ice. Do you think I can have some? My head is pounding... [rubs her head. Lisa then notices her bruise]

Lisa: Hmm. You seem to be suffering severe head trauma Laney. Luckily my robot is also programmed for first aid. [Lisa's robot shows some bandages]

Appliance Robot: BANDAGE? GAUZE?

Laney: Uh. I still don't see how she's my sister.

Lincoln: [To Lisa] Shes got amnesia.

Me: We're trying to help her remember everything.

Lisa: I see. Then again that probably happened because of your irresponsibility. Laney, might I recommend you take some thiamin? It's a common vitamin that can help treat retrograde amnesia.

Laney: Retrograde amnesia?

Lisa: Indeed. It's very common for people to have this and not remember anything prior to their injury.

Laney: [Confused] I can't seem to understand all that... [Gasps and realizes] Science talk! Lisa! Now I remember! [Hugs Lisa] Where would I be without that big brain of yours?

Lisa: I can dream can't I?

Me: Our little scientist does it again.

Varie: You said it.

Lincoln: "Okay, that's enough of that. Where are the others?"

Lisa: "I am uncertain. I was ejected from the train when we took a sharp turn at the sofa store. It was clearly overstimulated by the excessive quarters you fed it."

Me: That was kinda stupid Lincoln. Sorry.

Lincoln: "No, I deserve it. Come on! We have to find them!" [takes Lisa and Laney and moves out; finds another D] "Oh! Disturbances."

Lisa: "What are you babbling about?"

Lincoln: "Rip says..." [he quotes as a picture of Rip appears in the corner of the screen] "...you can tell if an animal has been around by a disturbance in the environment. Look!"

[They look at a clothing store and find one mannequin wearing a gothic style outfit accompanied by a familiar spooky fanfare]

Laney: Ugh... Creepy. Who'd put that on display?

Lincoln and Lisa: "Lucy."

Me: This has Lucy written all over it.

Varie: Yep.

Laney: Lucy?

Lincoln: Yeah. She's the creepy one.

Linka: She's into Vampires and everything dark.

Laney: I see that...

[Lucy is giving Flip a fortune]

Flip: "Alright, little psychic girl, give me some good news."

Lucy: [looking into her crystal ball] "Ohmmmm...your business will soon make a big splash."

Lincoln: [grabs her] "Sorry, folks, no more fortunes today."

Flip: "Sweet! A great fortune, and I don't have to pay!" [drinks his Flippee]

Me: Flip you need a big vacation.

Laney: [Looks at Lucy oddly] So... You're my sister huh?

Lincoln: [to Lucy] She's got amnesia.

Lucy: Sigh... Of course. We're all victims of memory, constantly fading away. Like our existences mean nothing more than figments of imagination.

Laney: [Down] Wow... that sounds. [realizes again] Depressing! [Hugs Lucy] Lucy! It is you! [feels awkward as Lucy just stares at her] Um... maybe I should stop with the hugging...

Lincoln: "Perfect! We're one step closer to fixing everything. But we still need to find all my sisters. Hmm... No droppings, no disturbances..." [stops] "Wait a minute. Den! Rip says..." [Rip square appears again] "...you can track a creature by finding its natural habitat."

[Rip gives Lincoln a thumbs up and they notice the Princess Palace]

Me, Varie, Lincoln, Linka, Lisa and Lucy: "Lola."

Laney: Lola?

Lucy: I think the princess castle should be explanation enough.

Me: Yeah.

[They go inside and find a bunch of kids looking at Lola who is sitting on a throne]

Me: Our little princess is now a queen.

Lincoln: "Lola, playtime's over. We gotta go."

Lola: "That's no way to speak to your queen! Send him to the dungeon!"

Laney: [Remembers] Oh yeah... now it's coming back to me.

[The other kids get ready to attack Lincoln]

Lincoln: "Lola, wait! I just came to tell you, uh...there's another queen outside who says she's more powerful than you."

Lola: "What? Well, I'll have her head!"

[They charge out of the store and find nothing]

Lola: "There's no one here. You lied! Well played, sir."

Laney: I just wish I can forget how much of a brat she is...

Lola: Brat!?

Me: Lola don't hurt her. She has amnesia.

Lola: Bah! I bet she's just pretending so she can get out of paying Luna that 20 bucks she owes her.

Varie: No she's not Lola. She hit her head bad and she can't remember anything. We're helping her remember.

Laney: [scratches her head in confusion] Are you sure I even belong in this family? You guys are crazy!

Lincoln: "Trust me. You get used to it. Let's move out."

[We all follow while Lola stops]

Lola: [to her subjects] "Take care of my kingdom!" [leaves]

[We continue and Lincoln finds some bones]

Lincoln: "Aha! I found another D: Diet!"

Lucy: "Lincoln, that's not human food."

Lincoln: "It is if the human is..."

[We all notice they're right by the pet shop]

Lincoln, Lisa, Lucy, and Lola: "Lana."

Laney: Do I even have to ask about this one?

Me: I had a feeling Lana would be here at the Pet Shop. I hope she's not eating dog biscuits again. [Shudders]

Varie: Me too.

Linka: Blech! That was horrible!

[Me and Lincoln enter and we find Lana in a duck pen]

Me: (Laughs) Lana. You are so funny.

Lincoln: "Lana, out. Let's go."

Lana: "No can do guys. I gotta keep these duck eggs warm."

[The eggs hatch into ducklings; Lana comes out of the pen]

Lincoln: [shakes her hand] "Congratulations."

Me: Way to go Lana.

Laney: Awww! they're so cute! You really have a thing for animals don't you Lana? [Gasps as she remembers again] Lana! I forgot how much you love animals!

Lana: What's up with Laney?

Me: She has amnesia and we're trying to help her remember.

Lana: How did that happen?

Lincoln: It was all my fault. I sped up that train with all those quarters and made it go fast. I'm so sorry I caused all this. I should've watched out for you guys more and I'm so sorry.

Lisa, Lucy and Lola came in and forgave Lincoln.

Lana: Aw we forgive you Lincoln.

Lola: It's okay Linky.

Lucy: We forgive you.

Me: Lincoln I know how much you wanted to get that autograph from Rip and I know it meant alot to you but you have to know that family is always important. Plus we can learn from our past mistakes and make sure that we never do them again.

Varie: That's right.

Laney: Wow Lincoln. That's great accepting responsibility for your actions like that. [Remembers for one last time] I remember everything! Well, at least what happened today. Thanks Lincoln. I guess you can be responsible.

Lincoln: You're welcome.

[They leave and the ducks come out of their pen]

Me: Okay, lets find Lily, Anastasia and Penny and we can go home.

Lincoln: [looking at his watch] "Right, we still have time to get home before Mom and Dad."

Lily: Here we are guys.

We see Lily and Penny over at a nearby clothing store and they had lots of bags of clothes.

Varie: Thank goodness you're both safe.

Lily: Yeah. We jumped out of the train before it crashed into that stand over there. [Points to Flips Smoothie stand in the nearby fountain]

Penny: It was great to fly with Lily.

Me: Good thinking. Laney has amnesia and we're trying to help her remember everything.

Lily: Oh man. I've seen that happen before with someone else. I helped her with it.

Varie: Good for you Lily.

Me: Where's Anastasia?

Penny: She's over at the food court.

Varie: That's good.

Me: That's a lot of clothes you have.

Lily: Yeah. They're for Lori, Carol and Leni. I figured they could use some new clothes to go with their old ones.

Me: Cool.

Lincoln: "Let's go home."

Linka: Yeah. Lets.

[They get ready to leave]

Appliance Robot: "May I come with?"

Lisa: "Negatory. Your services are needed more here than in my home. This mall requires a thorough clean-up. Make me proud."

[She leaves and the robot gets to work]


As soon as we all got home, we got to work on regaining Laney's memory. It wasn't before long until everything was back to normal as if the whole mall episode never happened.

[Back home, we are doing what we did before we left as if nothing happened. Laney holds an ice pack on her head. I am reading a book on space, Varie is reading a book on medicine and cures. Lucy is reading a book, Lola, Lincoln & Linka are watching TV and Lisa, Anastasia, Lana, Penny and Lily are playing a board game.

Me: I'm glad you're okay Laney.

Laney: Me too.

Lincoln: Again Laney, I'm sorry that my irresponsibility caused you to lose your memory.

Laney: That's okay Lincoln. Today you proved that you can be a responsible brother after all. Well, in your own weird way. But I still like my way better. No one gets hurt that way.

Me: Trust me Laney. Amnesia is no pretty picnic. It even happened to me.

Laney: Really? How?

Me: It was 4 years ago. I was in gym class doing a daredevil gymnastics move and I hit my head on a metal bar. I woke up in the hospital and my mom and dad were by my bedside. I couldn't remember anything. I had total amnesia. I couldn't remember who I am, where I came from, where I was, anything. I was a blank person. A shadow walking in a world I did not remember at all. The doctor's thought I was never gonna get my memory back. But then as I was coming out of the movie theater with mom and dad I saw a man being robbed at knifepoint and I confronted him. This gave enough time for the man to escape but the robber punched me in the head. He knocked me down, but surprisingly my memories returned to me and I remembered everything again. I got up and I knocked the robber out and tied him up and I was back to my old self again.

Lincoln: That's incredible!

Linka: I agree.

Lisa: Memories can sometimes be restored in patients with amnesia after a second blow to the cranial area.

Varie: Yes. I've seen it happen.

[Their parents and older sisters return]

Rita: "Hey, guys. We're home."

Me: How was the school open house Ms. Rita?

Rita: It was great J.D. Thank you.

Lynn Sr.: Thank you for looking out for everyone J.D.

Me: You're welcome Mr. Lynn.

Lynn Sr.: We got you something.

Lynn Sr. handed me a special necklace that was in the shape of a dragon and it had 3 red stones on it.

Me: Mr. Lynn it's beautiful and I love dragons.

Rita: "A little thank you for helping us out today. It's so great that we can count on you."

Lincoln: Actually we have something to tell you. The truth is...

Lana: [shuts him up] "He let us jump on the bed."

Lucy: "But only because we kept bugging him."

Lisa: "Lincoln was a top-rate babysitter."

Anastasia: Yes he is.

Laney: And might I add, very responsible.

Lola: "I give him a 9 out of 10."

Lynn Sr.: [chuckles] "I think we can live with that."

[The parents leave]

Lincoln: "What'd ya do that for?"

Lana: "That was my little thank you for letting us keep the ducklings."

Lincoln: [aghast] "Wait, what?!"

[Lucy, Lola, and Lisa each hold up a duckling, showing that they came with them and mama Lana]

Laney: Yay! New pets!

Me: I'll have Double D build a special duck pond in the backyard.

Varie: Perfect.

Lily: They are so cute!

THE END

Another Fanfiction done.

I wanted to do this episode for a little while. When Kinghammer wrote that Laney got amnesia because of Lincoln's irresponsibility that sure surprised me. I found it to be a great version of this. This one was quite a challenge for me. Let me know what you all think.

See you next time.