It starts in a mansion outside of the city. This mansion was not our mansion. This was the home of one of the Justice League's former enemies. The head of Project Cadmus - Amanda Waller.

Me, Nico, Lincoln and Earth were talking to her about stuff. We were having tea.

Waller: J.D. Knudson and Team Loud Phoenix Storm. And here I thought you forgot all about me.

Nico: We didn't forget. We just didn't have the time to confront you until now.

Me: Nico please. We thank you for inviting us over Ms. Waller. We have a lot of questions we want to ask you. The Justice League told us about their history with you and how you've been preparing to defend yourselves with them.

Waller: That's right.

Nico: Understand something, Waller. The next time you assemble a group like the Suicide Squad, you'll be behind bars.

Waller: Well, I can't really assemble a new Task Force X now. Most of my candidates are either dead or have joined your team. But if you're going to threaten me, you better be sure you can deliver. After all, you pretty much ignored me up until today. (I smirk) You think that's a joke, Mr. Chan?

Nico: (laughs) Yeah, I kinda do. You thinking I can't deliver. Now that's hilarious. Do you remember when you created Cadmus after hearing about the Justice Lords? Well, we went to their universe and mercilessly defeated each and every one of them. We've also beaten Hydro Man, Electro, Bane, Xehanort, X.A.N.A, and Stewie's evil twin. And we even took out Teridax just recently. What do you think we could do to you? Think next time before you say something stupid.

Me: Nico please. Ms. Waller what I want to know is what lead to the creation of Project Cadmus?

Waller: I'm sure you've all heard about how the Justice League went to another dimension and defeated the Justice Lords.

Me: As a matter of fact we have. Superman told us about it.

Lincoln: It was one of the most insidious adventures they experienced.

Earth: Wow.

Waller: It was indeed. But the Justice Lords were the catalyst that led to the creation of Project Cadmus. In that dimension 7 members of the Justice League overthrew the government and assassinated the President.

We gasped.

Me: Whoa.

Nico: And from what I heard Lex Luthor was the president in that dimension and he murdered their Flash in cold blood.

Lincoln: And Superman killed their Lex and they became the Justice Lords.

Me: That's right guys. We put our Lex Luthor in a prison at the very distant edge of the universe and he will stay there forever.

Waller: That's what I heard.

Me: Yeah. (I see something on the table) What's this?

It was a file and it was for a project called Project Batman Beyond.

Me: Project Batman Beyond? Hmm.

Waller: That's another project I had completed long ago. You see I'm sure that you've known about this for a while. But for a while Bruce Wayne and I were enemies. His Justice League was easily the most powerful force on Earth.

Nico: Both Team Loud Phoenix Storm and the Justice League are easily the most powerful forces ever known.

Waller: Yes. As you know I was in charge of Project Cadmus. Over the years I've come to respect Batman. Even trust him. I was also the government liaison with the Justice League for a while. I met some extraordinary people in that job. But none of them were the equal of Batman. I saw Batman save the day dozens of times with nothing but his wits, body and will.

Lincoln: Bruce Wayne is a very strong man.

Waller: Yes. But I saw something else as well. He was getting older. Slower. Soon he would have to retire or likely someone would manage to kill him. A thought of a world without a Batman was unacceptable. So I decided to make a new one.

Nico: How did you manage to do that?

Waller: I used my old Cadmus connections to gather the technology necessary for Project Batman Beyond. Bruce's DNA was easy to obtain. He left it all over town.

Me: So a drop of blood?

Waller: Yes. Then I found a young Neo-Gotham Couple with psychological profiles nearly identical to those of Bruce's parents.

Lincoln: Warren and Mary McGinnis.

Waller: Yes. Warren thought he was getting a flu shot. Actually it was a Nanotech Solution programmed to rewrite his reproductive material into an exact copy of Bruce Wayne's. A little over a year later, Mary gave birth to a son - Terry McGinnis.

We gasp in shock at what we found out.

Me: So Terry McGinnis is really!?

Waller: Yes. He is really Bruce Wayne's son.

Lincoln: That's incredible!

Nico: This is gonna be the biggest shock in Terry's life.

Me: He has to know about this. And I have a strong feeling that you tried to kill Warren and Mary almost exactly like with Thomas and Martha Wayne.

Waller: Yes. But my assassin couldn't do it. He would never resort to murder. If I was to honor all that he stood for, neither could I.

Me: And Warren McGinnis wound up murdered no matter what. But I don't know how Terry is going to react to this but he has to know no matter what. Ms. Waller we appreciate you telling us this. And you are indeed right about one thing. The world does need a Batman.

Waller: Yes.


Later back at the estate we gathered Bruce, Mary, Terry, Matt and Dana in our briefing room.

Me: Now I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you all here.

Mary: That's right J.D.

Terry: What's going on J.D.?

Me: I was just getting to that. I just talked to Ms. Amanda Waller and she told us a rather unusual revelation. Terry, Matt, what I'm about to tell you is gonna be a huge shock to you all.

Lisa came in and handed me a DNA report.

Me: Terry this is your DNA profile.

I handed Terry the DNA report and he read it. What he read about it was shocking.

Me: We found out from Ms. Waller that you and Matt are the biological sons of Bruce Wayne. It was part of a special project she was in charge of. It was called Project Batman Beyond. She told us that the world always needs a Batman and the thought of a world without a Batman was completely unacceptable. Your birth father had his genetic material rewritten into that of Bruce Wayne's. I don't know how she did this with Nanomechanics but somehow she did.

Mary: That's really crazy.

Dana: How can Terry and Matt be the sons of Bruce Wayne?

Nico: Ms. Waller rewrote their genetics somehow.

Lisa: This kind of technology is a feat that even I am unfamiliar with.

Me: I'm sorry this happened to you Mrs. McGinnis and I'm sorry this happened to you Terry and Matt.

Matt: Are you kidding!? This is awesome!

Terry: I knew that Warren loved me but now I realize that Bruce is the greatest father ever.

Dana: I'm glad that you're Bruce Wayne's son Terry.

Mary: I am too. I was shocked that this happened.

Batman: I was shocked too. I never knew that Terry and Matt ere my sons.

Me: I was shocked too. I'm glad you took the news well Terry.

Terry: Thanks for helping me J.D.

Me: You're welcome. (Watch beeps) Time for another humiliation session on the Griffin's.

Matt: Oh this is gonna be fun!

We set out to the heart of the city.


We arrived and we were ready for the humiliation.

Me: Hello Griffin's. Welcome back to Hell! (Cracks Knuckles)

Connor: This is gonna be awesome!

?: Mind if I help all of you out?

We saw a red weasel come out and everyone was squealing and cheering wildly for him.

Me: Wow! The famous I Am Weasel!

Leni: Is that your name now?

Me: No Leni. That's his name. I Am Weasel. He's a famous weasel that has done just as many good deeds around the world like we have. He's just as famous as we are and he's loved by everyone around the world.

Lori: I've heard about him.

Laney: He's amazing.

Lola: He sure is.

Me: Mr. Weasel it's such an honor to meet you.

I Am Weasel: It's an honor to meet you too J.D. I've heard so many good things about you.

Me: Thank you Mr. Weasel. It's part of what we have to do for the betterment of humanity.

I Am Weasel: That's right.

Lola: Did that idiotic baboon try to ruin everything for you?

I Am Weasel: He sure did. I.R. Baboon is an idiot.

We laughed.

I saw his trailer right behind the Griffin's.

Me: Is that his trailer right there?

I Am Weasel: That's the very one.

Lola: I heard that I.R. Baboon is not liked among everyone. And he has no class at all.

Lana: I also heard that he has a huge red butt and everyone laughs at him.

We laughed.

Me: And he has a brain the size of an underdeveloped peanut.

We laughed again.

I Am Weasel: That's all true.

I.R. Baboon came over and he had a look of rage on him. He was a black fur baboon and he was wearing a white t-shirt with his name written on his shirt backwards and upside-down. His red butt always is showing. And he smells horrible.

Me: I.R. Baboon right?

I.R. Baboon: Why you always making fun of I.R. Baboon!?

Me: Because you're a brainless idiot. You always are in I Am Weasel's shadow and you try to make sure he never wins. But you always fail.

Lila: And your butt always shows.

Everyone laughed at him because of that. He howled in embarrassment.

Man: Loser!

A man threw a pie at I.R. and it hit him in the face.

SPLAT!

We laughed at him some more.

Me: What a pheeb.

Gali: You said it.

Gali is a beautiful woman and she had beautiful ocean blue hair, yellow eyes, was wearing a sleeveless ocean blue dress and brown boots and she had her battle axes on her back.

Me: Yep.

Varie: You are beautiful Gali. We could be twin sisters.

Gali: We sure look that way Varie.

Me: Lets get this party started.

Lana: Me and Laney got an idea. Be right back.

They left and quickly came back with a piano. They brought it in front of Bad Lois. What she doesn't know however is that a certain key is hardwired to a detonation switch that will set off some high explosives hidden inside it. Nitroglycerin, dynamite, C4, Napalm and TNT are hidden in it. They had sheet music on it. It was for Those Endearing Young Charms.

Laney played first and she got the notes wrong on purpose.

Bad Lois: No that's not right! Do it again!

Lana went next and she did the same.

Bad Lois: Oooh! NO NO! YOU STUPID GIRL! LIKE THIS!

She pushed them away and they ran.

She played it correctly and then..

KABOOOOOMMMMM!

The piano exploded in Bad Lois' face.

When the smoke cleared Bad Lois had piano keys for teeth. We laughed at her.

Me: I got a couple. You guys ever heard of those Yo Mama jokes?

Luan: I know those jokes and they are cruel.

Eddy: No kidding.

Me: Yep. If there's one thing I learned it's that no one likes to have their own mom insulted.

Vince: Amen to that.

Carol: Well said.

Me: Thanks. But in this kind of case I'm more than willing to make an exception. Hey Peter!

Peter looked at us.

Peter: What?

Me: I have something to tell you. Yo mama so stupid she tried to climb Mountain Dew!

Peter: WHAT DID YOU SAY!?

Lincoln: You heard him!

Luan: Yo Mama so Fat she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack!

We laughed at him.

Peter growled in rage.

Eddy: Yo Mama so ugly she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning!

Me: Yo Mama so stupid she put paper on the TV and called it Pay-Per-View!

Luan: Yo Mama so poor when I stepped on a cigarette to put it out she said "Hey! Who turned out the heat!?"

Eddy: Yo Mama so stupid she thought Starbucks was Alien Currency!

Me: Yo Mama so Ugly she makes blind kids cry!

Nico: Let me try. Yo Mama so Fat her farts cause Global Warming!

Luan: Yo Mama so Ugly when she took a selfie the picture said censored!

Me: Yo Mama so stupid she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!

Nico: Yo Mama so Stupid she thought Taco Bell was a Mexican Phone Company!

Me: Yo Mama so Ugly when she joined an ugly contest they said "Sorry no Professionals"!

Peter was enraged and he was screaming in so much ballistic fury that it was unbelievable.

Nico: I got something.

Nico pulled out a pet cage and in it was a tarantula. He went up in front of Peter and took the spider out and put it down his pants. Peter screamed like a little girl. (Think of how Marv screamed in Home Alone)

We laugh at that and Leni freaked out.

Leni: (SCREAMS) SPIDER!

She took a baseball bat and went to Peter and bashed his brains out with it.

POW! CRACK! BLAM! POW! SMASH! BAM!

Ed and Lori grabbed her and calmed her down.

Ed: Leni calm down. We don't want to kill him now.

Lori: Save that for Christmas, Leni.

Leni: (Panting) Sorry guys.

Nico: I didn't know Leni was so scared of spiders.

Me: Leni has the biggest case of Arachnophobia we've ever seen.

May: I believe it.

Carol: It's that bad.

Me: Yeah.

I Am Weasel: Leni's fear of spiders is quite normal for some people.

Nico: I got something for Bad Lois.

Nico walked up to Bad Lois and sprayed her with Scarecrow's fear gas and Bad Lois saw everything in the world as ravenous bloodthirsty spiders with glowing red eyes. She screamed in sheer horror.

Tahu (disgusted): Ok, I might sometimes have anger problems. But even I would never do the things that those so called parents did!

Tahu had red hair and red eyes, a sleeveless battle uniform. He had his swords on his back, orange pants and red boots.

Linka: Me neither.

Gwen S.: I got something. Be right back.

She left and brought back a huge wheelbarrow full of water balloons.

Luna: Water Balloons?

Gwen S.: You'll see.

She threw the balloons and they hit Peter and Bad Lois and they splattered poop all over them.

Gwen S.: Pig Poop!

Lana: Cool!

We laughed at them and it was really funny.

Me: Ooh! I got an idea! Lana you go get a giant washtub. Laney you use your plant powers and grow the items on this list. (Hands Laney a list) Lincoln, Naruto, Lisa, come with me.

Laney: You got it.

Lana: I'm on it.

Laney used her plant powers and grew numerous pepper plants.

We went to the store and got a bunch of ingredients for something. Lana got a giant washtub.

Me: Okay. First a bunch of red hot chili peppers of different kinds. Jalapeños, Habaneros, Tepin Peppers, Ghost Chilis, Trinidad Scorpion, Carolina Reapers and the hottest pepper on the planet: The Dragon's Breath Pepper.

We had gloves on and added buckets full of said peppers into the tub.

Lana: That's a lot of peppers.

Laney: You making a hot sauce J.D.?

Me: Yep.

Lincoln: This would normally be enough.

Me: Yep. Normally. Next we add a lot of garlic.

We cut, squeeze and crushed up a lot of garlic and added it to the peppers.

Me: Next we add lots of red wine vinegar.

We poured in 6 jugs full of red wine vinegar.

Lincoln: That's a lot of vinegar.

Me: Yep. Now for a lot of onions.

Laney: I got that.

Laney used her plant powers and grew lots of onions.

We sliced up a lot of onions and ignored the fumes that make you cry and add them to the tub.

Me: Now for my favorite. 4 bottles of Mongolian Fire Oil.

Lincoln: Dad uses this all the time in his stir fry.

Me: I know. Mr. Lynn makes really good stir fry.

We pour in the bottles and the spice smell was delicious.

Me: Now we blend everything together.

Nico: I got that.

Nico sprouted tentacles and turned them into giant food processor blender blades. He blended everything together into a fine liquid.

Me: Awesome job Nico!

Nico: Thank you.

Lana: What's next?

Me: Now comes the deadliest part.

I pull out a scroll and unseal a container with a liquid in it and it had an evil fanged skull and crossbones on it.

Me: This is something I call (Lightning flashes and thunder crashes in the background) (Dramatic voice) THE CONTAINER OF TRAITOROUS MINDS!

Lincoln: (Gulps) I don't like the sound of that.

Laney: Me neither.

Me: This container has the leftovers of all the nuclear blazing hot chicken wing sauces I made. To prevent the sauce from going bad I put it in this scroll that keeps it fresh all the time. The sauces keep marinating and it gets far more powerful.

Lana: That is deadly stuff!

Nico: No kidding.

I poured in the whole container and it was lethal.

Me: Whoo! That is potent stuff. Now for the final ingredient.

I pull out a black safe and it had a handprint and retina scanning system.

Me: In this safe is the most lethal ingredient of them all.

I place my hand on the handprint scanner and a laser scanned my eye.

Safe: Access approved.

The safe opened and a bunch of little safes opened up in various ways and a final safe opened and revealed a bright neon red glowing bottle. I put on a welding mask and gloves and take the bottle out with a pair of tongs. The bottle had a picture of a disintegrating skull with flaming red eyes being vaporized in front of a massive nuclear explosion.

Lana: Wow! What is that stuff?

Me: This is the hottest Capsaicin Extract sauce I've ever created. It's made with pure capsaicin extract from the Guatemalan Insanity Peppers amplified 1,000-fold. I call it Castle Bravo Incinerator Death Sauce!

A nuclear explosion goes off in the background and a massive wall of real fire burns as well. Satanic cult music and malevolent laughter is heard to make it sound like it came from the fires of Hell in its entirety.

Everyone gasped in sheer horror.

Me: Yeah. This sauce is so lethal and so deadly that you can't even handle it with bare hands.

Lincoln: That sauce is gonna destroy them!

Me: Yep. All it takes is one little drop.

I put the bottle over the tub and put one little drop in. A powerful little blue fire mushroom cloud explosion formed in the tub and vanished.

Lori: Wow! That sauce is literally going to kill them!

Lucy: I'll make sure they get a nice and proper funeral.

Me: If they survive.

Tahu: Let us amplify the sauce J.D.

Vakama: We have a way to make it stronger.

Me: Go for it.

Vakama had red hair in a cronmage and red eyes and had a version of Tahu's clothes.

Tahu and Vakama used their fire to intensify the hot sauce 20,000-fold. The concoction emitted a bright neon red glow and it was so intense that it was causing my geiger counter to go haywire.

I take a huge spoon and fill it full of the sauce and Laney used her vines to hold open Peter's mouth and I shove the spoon into his mouth and Peter swallowed it. Then his sclera had massive nuclear explosions in them and his skin turned red and rose fast like a thermometer dipped into the core of the sun and it turned neon blue and suddenly he went into the air a little above the ground and turned into a steam whistle and a massive blast of raging fire exploded out of his mouth with incredible force as he screamed in excruciating agony and pain and a super loud ear shattering horn toot. The windows in some of the buildings shattered into a million pieces.

Me: Hit the deck!

We ducked and Jared, Aylene, Yuko and Lola absorbed the fire and Peter kept releasing an enormous amount of fire at an incredible rate.

Peter was like this for 15 minutes and he crashed back to the ground with a huge thud and he was completely drained and exhausted. Everyone laughed at him some more.

Me: Wow! That was intense.

Lana: You said it J.D.

Lincoln: That... Was... AWESOME!

Laney: It sure was.

Lynn: That was explosively spicy!

Lightning: It sure was. Lightning agrees.

Luan: That one was so spicy that it was infernal! (Laughs to rimshot) Get it?

We laughed at Luan's joke as well.

Eddy: (Laughs) That was a good one!

Rachel: (Laughs) That was so funny!

Me: That was a good one!

Peter got up and he was mad.

Peter: (No voice)

Me: Wow! That hot sauce completely destroyed his voice box.

Lisa: It appears that the frequency of the scream he did and the level of spice Peter took completely corroded and disintegrated his vocal cords. Completely and permanently destroying his ability to talk.

Luna: Maybe that'll shut him up forever.

Lori: Yep.

I Am Weasel: I would say that he deserved it because he's a bad father. If that doesn't spell bad father then my name is not I AM WEASEL!

Nico: Well said. Would you like to do a combo with me?

I Am Weasel: I would be honored Nico.

Nico used Undergrowth's plant powers and grew catapults with fruit and vegetables on them and I Am Weasel had rotten meat in slingshots.

Nico and I Am Weasel: ROTTEN FOOD ONSLAUGHT!

They fired the fruit, vegetables and rotten meat and they all pelted Peter and Bad Lois and the assault was so bad that it made them both smell so horrible that their own stench made them puke their guts out.

Nico: That was awesome!

I Am Weasel: It sure was.

Later we went back home. I Am Weasel decided to live with us and continue doing great deeds for humanity from our mansion. With him was his nurse and love interest Loulabelle. It was a great time for him.

THE END


Another Fanfiction complete.

This was the most interested Humiliation we did. I got the idea for revealing the revelation about Terry and Matt being Bruce Wayne's sons from the Justice League Unlimited episode Epilogue. I figured it would be appropriate for this. I Am Weasel was awesome and Michael Dorn did a great job voicing Everyones favorite weasel. Charlie Adler did a great job voicing I.R. Baboon too. I got the idea for the container from a restaurant I saw over in Richmond, Virginia. NicoChan11 and VinJedi1995 game me the ideas for this one. Thanks for that guys. Let me know what you all think.

See you all next time.