"I hope you know we had everything. But you broke me and left these pieces. I want you to hurt like you hurt me that day. I want you to lose like I lose when I play what could have been."
Weeks had passed by since the encounter with his 'contact' up north. Kakuzu had to ponder on such tales that the man spew from his own mouth. Kakuzu had put together his own personal documentations from his own perspective. He had everything documented that he could remember. Hidan had found very little information from his contact as well, although Kakuzu had to wonder if Hidan had even bothered to be thorough though. According to him, the 'Master' was a pale man with long dark hair. A man that from Hidan's report was soft for Mina, which had made Kakuzu filled with anger and sickness all at once. How dare he feel like after all this time he felt some sort of possession over Minahira. The contacts only left them with more questions about how to move forward than anything. Although one major note was that this man had a home somewhere in the Hidden Grass, which wasn't too far off. But his description could also in turn, fit many different men. Kakuzu stepped away from his table that would appear messy to some, but to him the information was laid out perfectly. He had been trying his hand at tracking this mystery man. Leader had sent out word that Itachi and Kisame would attempt contact with Mina, a thought that brought Kakuzu more sickness. How could she counter Itachi's Genjutsu? Surely they would kill her? Although he had faith in Mina, she was no longer the same woman he knew, and he had to accept that. The longer time went on, the more faith he lost in rekindling with his former friend. That's what he told himself she was. In reality, that was all their relationship ever amounted to, it seemed. No matter how he felt or wanted to view it. Don't make the mistake of thinking that he was set in stone on this, because it had honestly been a war waged inside his own head. No matter how he looked at the situation, he couldn't see a way for them to have that life he once wished for with her. He had changed, and so had she. His only hope was that she could be freed from this monster. That was his current goal he set in his own mind. How selfless, huh? If only it truly were a selfless act, instead of one built from hurt and anger. Maybe then the Gods would bless him with his only wish. He snickered under his mask at that thought. Gods were nothing but a load of shit to Kakuzu. The only person he held any faith in when it came down to it was himself.
He left his room, and almost instantly ran into one of his least favorite members, Tobi. Kakuzu seen him as a joke. A nuisance, if you will.
"Kakuzu-Senpai~" His high pitched voice only gave Kakuzu a headache and an angry disposition. He never answered Tobi, he only glared daggers his way. "The conference room is reeeeeady~" His happy and oblivious nature only further irritated Kakuzu.
Without a words spoken, Kakuzu brushed past Tobi, hoping he would stay right where he was. Of course that would have been too easy. He lingered beside Kakuzu as he walked, dread filling the air due to the unwanted company.
"Kakuzu-Senpai this is very important. Leader-senpai said so." Tobi waved his finger back in forth as he spoke, as if what he was saying was somehow supposed to mean something of importance to Kakuzu. How badly he wished to gut Tobi like a fish. Anger quickly bubbling up at each passing word spoken. "I heard this woman outsmarted you and Hidan-senpai." Was he trying to get a reaction from Kakuzu? Because he was about ready to explode. Is that what they all thought? That this woman-Mina-was stronger and better than the duo? He might have let her get away still alive and well, but it was NOT because he was bested by her by any means. He didn't want harm to befall her, and that was the moment the Akatsuki finally seen him falter. And now because of this, she was going to be hunted by others who wouldn't let her go so easily. His fists balled at his sides, anger bubbling up more at each passing second. How dare this BRAT say something so misleading. Kakuzu was sure that Tobi was purposley trying to get a reaction out of him. Like some invisible test that he was bound to fail. Lucky for him, the conference room was just a few more paces down the dark dreary hallway. Tobi seemed to act oblivious to the steaming mad man he was walking beside. "I heard she's very pretty too! What do YOU think, Kakuzu-Senpai?" This set something off in his head. The only other person to see her was Hidan. Had he been running his mouth once more? Now Kakuzu's anger was directed towards someone he COULD take it out on.
As he approached the door, he had elected to ignore the previous irritation and locked eyes with the Jashinist. Hidan only shot a snide smirk his way, only igniting the fire in Kakuzu's anger. No words were exchanged, but the air was so thick between the two that it felt like you could physically cut the air. Tobi seemed unaffected by this, and in fact pressed for more answers to his trivial questions.
"Tell me, Kakuzu-Senpai, how did this woman beat you? Did she seduce you? Or maybe you willingly-" He was cut off short by Hidan's obnoxiously loud laughter. He was definitely enjoying this. Kakuzu, on the other hand, was fuming. He felt like he would explode from anger any moment.
"Do you honestly think you should be making all these empty questions? If you know what's best for you, you will leave. NOW." Kakuzu was firm, but surprisingly sparring with his anger, which in turn made Hidan feel like the anger would later be turned on him. This idea made his fingers twitch, ever so slightly. It wouldn't be the first time, but being sewed back together by the man who also tore you apart was not something he enjoyed.
Without another word, Kakuzu brushed by Tobi, leaving Hidan behind as he knocked on the appropriate door. He enter as soon as the door opened from the other side. Kisame smiled maliciously at him, which did NOT seem to affect Kakuzu. They had to know he was already boiling with rage, rage that he had to put on the back burner in front of their leader. As much as he would love to put others six feet under, he knew better-especially in front of Pain.
"Do you know why you are here?" Those purple eyes staring directly into his own, and in the short moment he faltered in his resolve only for a brief moment as the thought of Mina crossed his mind.
"I failed my mission." He was blunt with his response as there was truly no other way around it.
"Exactly. Do you understand this is not to be tolerated?" Pain's cold gaze not leaving Kakuzu.
"Yes."
"Good. Your punishment will be following Itachi and Kisame to a local brothel that was rumored to have a woman matching the description matching this mystery woman."
Follow Itachi and Kisame? How the thought of being told what to do by either of these people made him angry enough to make his eye twitch, and under his mask he had a disgusted look on his face. A small moment of fear washed over him. What would happen should they actually find her? Would they kill her on sight? Surely she wouldn't fall that easily after all these years. But that small feeling of doubt stuck with him.
"You are dismissed, Kakuzu. Itachi, Kisame, I must speak with you two before you leave."
Kakuzu could only feel a pressure on his shoulders as he left the small room that felt like a burden. He had no idea how to make it go away. He has never felt like this. He has always been able to control any fears or doubts he has ever had, but this felt different. It felt malicious and dark. He quickly headed to his own room, avoiding everyone he could. Dealing with anyone here right now was not something he was keen on doing. As he approached, he opened his door only to slam it and lock it. His back resting on the door, he slid down to the floor taking a deep breath to allow himself to think. How could he ever possibly explain this web he had gotten trapped in? He slowly stood up, and as he did, he noticed something that had just a small glint of light shining off it under his desk. When he picked it up, he felt alarmed and confused. A small locket? But where could it have come from? He opened it, just to see what was inside. In the locket was an old tattered and slightly burnt picture of himself and someone else. When he inspected it closely, he knew immediatly this was a picture from the day Mina had became a Johnin. A deep pain filled him. How could this have gotten here? He owned no such things. The picture fell to the floor and he picked it up, wondering how it had even gotten in this state. When he was about to put it back in, he noticed writing on the back. 'What you do to other willingly, you repay with love or pain.' What did it mean? He had no clue, as this whole thing made him feel uncomfortable. Obviously someone had been in his room while he was away-but who? And why leave this? He had more questions than answers.
A knocking came from his door. He quickly put the locket in his pocket to investigate later. Surely there was a specific reason for this object to come into his hands. He opened his door- and to his disgust he was greeted by a blank look from Itachi and that smug look from Kisame. This mission would be long and unfortunately for Kakuzu, infuriating. He did not do well taking orders from people he thought less of. He knew their combined abilities were nothing to discredit, he just simply thought they were insignificant to him. Which was how he felt about everyone. He had no plans on making this harder than it already was.
"Ya know, I'd say you've lost your touch." Kisame remarked, looking over at Kakuzu. Oh how he wished to wipe the grin off of that sharks' mouth. Kakuzu had no interest in entertaining either of the with any kind of response. Itachi seemed uninterested in Kisame's jabs at the miser. Instead he seemed to be unreadable at most times making Kakuzu think he was definitely hiding something. Although in actuality, most of the Akatsuki had dirty little secrets. The difference is that Itachi never faltered on his disposition. He was someone that seemed to be impossible to crack. A moment of silence between them seemed to drag out. Kisame seemed to not be interested in truly irritating Kakuzu. That part was at least a small win for Kakuzu. He already felt infuriated and ashamed at the same time that he was even in this position. He had been having reoccurring dreams lately about breaking off from the Akatsuki for his own purposes. But that would surely put Mina in more danger, and that was something he couldn't do.
Kakuzu realized one major problem; he had no idea where they were going, only small details. He hoped that this would be a bust as well and that Mina was somewhere far enough away to be safe. As badly as he wanted to find her, he wouldn't like the idea of finding her with the present company. He wondered if even finding her the first time was a mistake. The thought made him feel nauseated. He knew the order would be to kill her, but could he do that? That wasn't very likely. He wished for circumstances to be different. She wouldn't truly try to kill him, would she? The possibility of her being different from how he remembered her was undoubtedly high. How could she not change over this whole time?
On a different note, he wondered how this underground brothel would bring any semblance of a clue as to her whereabouts. She had despised places like that- or she used to anyway. He knew they were headed to Land of Water, but little else. Was she the actual target? Or was there someone else that might have a clue or two where she could be residing at? He hated being treated like an underling during this mission. He had nothing to say to either ninja accompanying him. And he elected to ignore any small talk Kisame would attempt. He honestly had little interest in conversation with anyone. He didn't care about people or what they had to say. All he cared for were the bounties on the heads he collected. That and one sole woman that he thought was lost to the sands of time. He noted that following others was not something he enjoyed either. This punishment for failure was infuriating to him, and he made it known as well from just the way he held himself. His lack of vocalization also seemed to make things tense as well. He was obviously not in a good mood and the others knew it.
"So what really happened? I mean the fight with you and this girl. I've never known you to let someone go freely." Kisame had thrown a deeper question than he actually realized, making Kakuzu shift uncomfortably. The lingering silence that hung in the air made his skin crawl even more, although he would never admit to that.
"She did not go freely." This left many unanswered questions that made Kisame think a bit harder on the situation. Itachi remained in silence, listening carefully to the way Kakuzu's voice seemed to flutter momentairily. Something Kisame didn't seem to pick up on.
Kakuzu knew that Itachi knew there was more to it that he was leading on. More silence continued until Kisame thought to ask one last question, "From what I heard, she seemed to have distracted you quite a bit. Any reason for that?" He knew Kisame was prodding for deeper answers, but that would not happen.
"She did not." Kakuzu did not falter in his answer this time. He never once looked towards anyone, only gazing straight ahead focusing on the path they were taking. He had little interest in any more of Kisame's questions. He did have to wonder how Itachi viewed his vague answers. Itachi was neither blind nor stupid, this Kakuzu knew for a fact.
As it began to darken outside, they decided on a campsite about 4 miles away from the location they were heading to. Not too far, but a night of rest sure would help. Kakuzu had had many sleepless nights as of late. He had too many reoccuring dreams- memories he did not want to relive. But it seemed his mind truly had no care for what he wished internally. Sometimes he wanted to forget, but other times he felt a shred of happiness reliving some of his better memories of his past life. He could feel himself pulling away from everyone. Ity wasn't like he was 'close' to anyone, but now he had began to alienate himself. It was a problem he had no solution for. Everyone else around him just thought it was him sulking because of his failed mission. Something that was not normal for him. Something they thought put him in a particularly sour mood. Don't misunderstand- it did make him angry to be punished for his unwillingness to kill this woman. He had no interest in that and in fact, it would probably be more likely that she killed him. He just couldn't bring himself to harm her. Maybe that would be a mistake on his part, he hadn't figured that part out yet. Their meeting was bittersweet.
The trio had formed a small camp with a fire just big enough to keep them warm. Kakuzu knew he nneded the rest for the off chance they might find Mina. He just couldn't shake a deep seeded feeling in the pit of his stomach that made him feel uncomfortable and sick. He leaned up against a nearby tree so he could comfortably sit. He rested like this all night, remembering the fond memories of Mina seeking warmth from him. A distant but pleasant memory. With these small happy moments consuming his mind, he drifted off into a much needed sleep. Hopefully he would have answers soon.
Kakuzu seemed to be dreaming, although this place seemed completely foreign to him. There wasn't much light. Everything looked black aside from a thick layer of purple smoke on the ground. It was the only source of light. He had no idea where he was going, but he walked directly ahead. He had no idea what he was walking towards, if anything at all. Then in the distance, he heard the sound of chains being drug on the ground. As he walked further into the nothingness, the sounds got louder. He came to see a run down looking building, and it seemed to be the source of the sounds he had been hearing. Without a thought, he walked inside to see an underground club that was completely empty. Not a single soul seemed to be here. There was a stage, and behind that was a curtain. He had to wonder if what he was searching for was behind it. Before he could decide on what to do, the curtain was pulled back and he was both awe struck and horrified. Wrapped in chains that drug the ground was Mina. What was disturbing was the chains bound to her neck, blood dripping from her unseen wounds through the chains. She slowly walked onto the stage and began to sing a song that he had never heard before.
"Didn't ask to see the light of day We were born without a say Trying to find your place in all of this But some lose their way
They say the truth will set you free But it shackled me like chains What you do to others willingly You repay with love or pain
Did you come for absolution?
I have got none left to give You must find your own solution Find a reason to forgive
You came looking for atonement You came looking where I live I can see right through your intent I have nothing to forgive'
Her voice was like no other he had heard. And the way she seemed to carry herself on stage with all of her bindings flowed perfectly with her tune.
'We all battle with our demons God knows I battled mine Some trust the law to guide them Some trust in the Divine
I am neither, I have never been I have only been myself My advice is simply gaze within Look at others, see yourself
Did you come for absolution? I have none left to give You must find your own solution Find a reason to forgive
You came looking for atonement You came looking where I live I can see right through your intent I have nothing to forgive'
The way she drew out her words and her vocalizations seemed to put him in a trance as he pondered the words she sang.
'I can see the weight you carry It's the fear that burdens you Passing by a life to cherish You believe the lies they spew
You were pure once, you were stainless You had promise, just like me They sustain your deepest bitterness It's yourself you cannot flee
Did you come for absolution?
I have got none left to give You must find your own solution Find a reason to forgive
You came looking for atonement You came looking where I live I can see right through your intent I have nothing to forgive'
When she was done, it seemed like she was slowly getting further away from him, but she wasn't moving. He had so many things he wanted to ask her, but he knew he had to have been waking up as everything seemed to fade into the distance, and then there was nothing.
A/N: Hey guys sorry about the delay in posting! I've been super busy lately with a lot of personal things going on. I apologize for the inconvenience. I hope you enjoy the latest chapter. I am slowly incorporating the rest of the Akatsuki. :)
