TW: Therapy and talk of depression! I'll leave a note at the end with the gist.
Chapter 2/3
Thursday, October 16, 1998
"I feel so hopeless," Hermione said with a sigh, "not in that way, but sometimes I feel too…"
"Too what?" Dr. Greenwood asked.
"Too much?" Hermione tried. "That's not the right word, but I feel like I'm constantly battling myself to be enough for everyone and it's… heavy."
They sat in silence for a few minutes. " I suppose I feel like I'll never be satisfied, like no matter what there is something else to do and fix. There is always something more to do. Sometimes that's too much."
"When that too much feeling happens, what do you do?" Dr. Greenwood asked.
"It's been brought to my attention that I isolate," Hermione cringed.
"Do you?"
"Yes?" Hermione asked, confused.
"Do you think you isolate or is that something you've been told?" Dr. Greenwood asked.
"It's been brought to my attention by my husband, who I trust with my life," she replied, crossing her arms, annoyed.
"My question seems to have frustrated you," the therapist said, face giving no emotion away.
"Well of course," Hermione replied with a huff, "the only person who has always been honest is Theo, we don't pull punches just because it's easier, we're always honest."
"Not Draco?"
Hermione paused, "Draco is different, he's more guarded, it's not bad, but for a long time we hated each other. He'll always be the part that softens Theo and I. We're both fiery and Draco is ice. He cools us down.
"I suppose at the end of the day, there is still a part of me that worries that he doesn't feel like he deserves us, he's not going to push me when I need it, Theo will, even at the detriment of our relationship sometimes."
"And has it?" Dr. Greenwood asked, continuing when they saw Hermione's confusion, "Ever been a detriment to your relationship?"
Sixth Year, Early Spring
"Fine! If you want to be a stubborn arse, don't even bother coming to visit this break!" she shouted at him.
"O-ho-ho, the ever wise Hermione Granger thinks she knows better," Theo spat.
"In this, I do know better! It's my body Theodore!"
"And!? I get no say?" he hissed.
She rolled her eyes. "I'm not having this conversation any longer. It's my decision!"
"Hermione…" Draco sighed, rubbing his hand over his face, "I think what Theo is trying to say, is that we have to decide together. If-If-fuck when you get pregnant some day, it's an us decsion, not a you. We-were supposed to be a team."
She sucked in a breath, "Well seeing as we're not married and-"
"Is that what it'll take!?" Shouted Theo, "You want my ring on your finger? You need me to prove that you're ours?"
"Very mature Theodore," she turned to him, feeling tears prick her eyes, "throw the fact that we can't be us in my face. Just because your parents won't accept a Mudblo-"
"Don't. You. Dare." Theo seethed.
"I think we all need to take a step ba-" Draco started.
"Oh shut the fuck up," Theo said turning to him.
"Do not yell at him!" Hermione shrieked. "This is between you and me!"
"There is no you and me," Theo scoffed. "We are a we! So if you were pregnant, then we three would need to make a decision!"
"I think we need to take a pause," Draco said again. "I think this is a misunderstanding, Hermione, Theo isn't saying that we have the right to your body, he's saying that he wants to be there for you when things are happening. And Theo, Hermione isn't saying that she doesn't want to share life with us, she just doesn't want to be forced into old fashioned patriarchal rules."
Both Hermione and Theo deflated. "Is that true?" he asked softly. She nodded and looked at him questioningly. "Me too, I just want you to let us all the way in."
"See, now we can still go to the Grangers for break," Draco said smugly.
Present Day (10/16/98)
By the time all three of them were home from their sessions, none of them were in the state to talk. Hermione collapsed into the bed, stroking her stomach, while both Theo and Draco lay next to her. She didn't touch either of them, recognizing that everyone needed their physical space. That was one of the best parts of their relationship, the ability to just co-exist without having to talk.
TW: Hermione attends therapy, she discusses her depression and her therapist forces her to identify some of her feelings and how she's handled them, especially in regards to her husbands assistance in it.
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