A/N Sorry for the delay on this chapter. JusticeLee Version 3.0 (aka my granddaughter) turned 1 at the end of September. She is affectionately referred to as the "Stubborn Little Shit." She is already developing her Libra princess tendencies in her personality. She wants to do everything herself, except she expects the peasants to hold her bottle for her and feed her even though she can do those things herself. I spent two weeks with her and my daughter. We had a lovely birthday party with just her parents and ALL of her grandparents. She passed out cold in her smash cake and received entirely too many presents. I spent the evening conversing 'pleasantly' (read fake as fuck) with her grandfather (my horrid ex husband) and I didn't call the son of a bitch a Dickmunch one time to his face. I've progressed so much as a human.

Anyway…with all the excitement I was quite stumped where I wanted this chapter to go. After several attempts (I mean a ridiculous amount of attempts), I found something I like and I hope you do too. Funnily enough, I figured out the chapter while I was getting ready for an event.

Your continued support means everything to me. If it takes me longer to post sometimes, just know I am dedicated to finishing this monstrosity I have created. If it's the last thing I ever do, I will finish it.

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Chapter 47 – Baby Juice

23 April, 2010

Dagworth Castle

Cornwall, United Kingdom

Hermione Granger

As soon as Sandy and I land my phone explodes with alerts. I grab my phone and check the time, 4:48 p.m. I was gone for 30 hours. I see texts from everyone. I have 369 missed calls. Ugh. This is a mess.

I turn to Sandy, "I don't know how to begin thanking you for this experience. You have helped me beyond anything I could ever imagine. You have given me so much understanding. Though I have many questions, so many questions, I think I have taken up enough of your time for the day. Thank you."

He smiles, "Mia, love. It was truly an honor. I hope I have given you some clarity. Your guard has wanted to help you for so long, but we couldn't until you accepted the Morrigan position."

Have I accepted the Morrigan position? "Umm, Sandy…."

He smirks at me, "You have. By next week you'll feel right as rain about it. You have a date and a bunch of worried friends to contact." He kisses my forehead. "If you need me, all you need to do is call." He grabs my ring, winks at me and fades away.

I take out my phone and look at all the texts. I decide to send a group text and told my friends I was researching. I did after all learn a lot of information. How do you tell people you had a lovely tea with all the dead people you love? How can I begin to explain my experiences over the last thirty hours?

I transfigure my beautiful dress back to the hoodie and jeans I was wearing yesterday morning. I apparate to Dagworth-Granger Manor and as soon as I enter the front door, Sasha appears in the foyer, "Where the hell have you been Mia? We've been so worried about you. You've never gone radio silent this long before."

I hug Sasha, she really is a great friend. She has helped me so much. "I didn't mean to worry everyone. I have a date with Draco at seven, and I should really start getting ready."

She nods, "I'll help with your hair and makeup, I'll be up in forty minutes."

I head to my room and get into the shower. Sasha always worried too much about me. I honestly don't know where I would be without her. I never would have thought she would become such an essential part of my life from our first meeting.

15 September, 1999

Caffeination

Cambridge, Massachusetts, United States

Hermione Granger

I've been in America for a week. James Wulff, the American Representative for the I.C.W. worked very hard to get me a coveted spot at Harvard Magical University. The entrance is at Holden Chapel. No-Mag people whom enter the church will see a church. Magical people who enter the church can go through a door that will lead you back outside to the Harvard Magical University. The building is highly warded and has a permanent confundus charm placed on any muggles, no-majs (as Americans call muggles), that enter. Once you are through the door it works much like Diagon Alley. You have a variety of shops to take care of your magical needs. There are apparel shops, text book shops, an apothecary, quidditch store, a campus magical hospital, the library, a few pubs, or bars as Americans call them. At the end of the alley are several entrances to buildings for classes. It's quite impressive how it is hidden.

I'm currently at the sole coffee shop/bakery in the area. It's a nice eclectic shop with tables and seating areas from every era since the Magical University was founded in 1744. I've just purchased all of my texts books to start classes the Tuesday next.

It's quite surreal. I was considering going to my father's alma mater, Cambridge University to become a doctor last year. When Ron was splinched while we were on the run, it was quite traumatic for me. I remember feeling panicked because I wasn't sure I was doing enough to help him. Being a doctor felt like a natural progression, and I really wanted to become a doctor so I could also become a healer to use both muggle and magical techniques to heal people. I was going to try to start next year.

I could have gone to muggle, ugh no-mag Harvard University, but James Wulff, the American Representative with the I.C.W. advised me to try the healer program here. Apparently Healers are taught both no-maj and magical techniques in America. I'm so unsure what I would like to do. This semester I'm taking eight classes; transfiguration, charms, curse-breaking, potions, American magical history, ancient runes, arithmancy, and a computer class. I was told it was too much, but I wanted to keep busy. I have no interest in socializing.

I don't need or want any friends. Friends cause drama, heartbreak, disappointment, and grief. I never want to put myself through any of that again. It's just better if I'm alone. The last week I have spent in solitude, and it feels nice not having to fight someone else to see your worth. I'm so tired of fighting for my basic rights to exist. In the end, my home will always view me as a mudblood, and I'm just fucking tired of the constant label. It's bad enough I have the daily reminder on my arm, I don't need the sneers and judgments from strangers. If people don't know you, they can't tell your fucking blood status.

I should contact George and Andromeda so I can fulfill my obligations there. I will have to decide what I need to do about that. I can't abandon little Teddy. I could possibly correspond with him, and maybe Andi and Teddy would come visit me when I'm ready. I am George's business partner, I can't really abandon him. I need to find a way to contact them both without them finding out where I am. I want to be left alone.

I've decided to never contact anyone else. I have no obligations to anyone aside from Harry. I have always felt responsible for him, and I will miss him. However, Harry has Ginny and Ron. Ginny and Ron have made it quite clear how they feel about me, even if I feel it is unwarranted. I don't need their petty jealousies in my life again.

I'm done with fighting for a place in the world. If I don't interact with people, I never have to fight for a place in their world or lives. Other people always leave you, so fuck it, I left them before they could leave me. Harry will have the family he always wanted through the Weasleys. He'll be happy, and he deserves to be. I'm just not interested in anything that involves that place anymore. I'm never going back.

It was easy to make the decision. Once James Wulff told me the history of the United Kingdom and I.C.W for the last century, it solidified my decision to leave. I spent about three weeks studying, and taking practice exams for the M.A.S.Ts. The Magical Aptitude Standardized Tests were much more challenging than the N.E.W.Ts had been. I barely studied for the N.E.W.Ts, and received all O's except one. The M.A.S.Ts were unbelievably hard, but I scored a 98% after studying. There were a number of Universities I could have gone to in America even with a 70% score, but I told James I wanted to go to the best. He gave me the top three schools and I chose Harvard because I had heard of it before.

I have a new home now, I am now an American citizen, and changed my legal name to Mia Granger. I have full diplomatic immunity from the United Kingdom. There's nothing there for me, no family, no prospects, and no real friends. What friends I had outside of Harry are all tied in with Drac- him now. He wants a life without me, he's going to get one. I need to stop thinking of that place and those people. I'm doing myself no favors thinking of Home. It's no longer home for me.

Maybe no one will know who Hermione Granger is over here. I didn't do anything to earn any fame over there, so it could be possible I'd be invisible here. It's all I want, anonymity. I want to go to class, study, and learn as much as I can. I want to be forgotten. I want to forget.

It's so hard to forget. I've been brewing the replenishing potion, so I don't sleep. The nightmares and dreams are too much. I tried to make a new start. It lasted one week after I left. The dreams are overpowering consisting of war, heartache, and HIM. Seeing him in my dreams was more painful than the Cruciatus curse. I feel physical pain in my heart every time I think of him. How does it still hurt this much after two months?

I interrupted by my thoughts when I hear a commotion at the front counter. There's a very tall woman close to my age at the counter. The tall woman knocked over a display by the register. She's strikingly beautiful. Her hair is piled on her head, she is wearing tight Jean's and a vest, or tank top as Americans call them. "Bixby, love, I'm so sorry. I'm such a klutz. Please forgive me, I'm totally the reason we can't have nice things." I look at my watch and it reads 11:37am. She swishes her hand and fixes the display.

"It's all good Sash. You used to trip on flat surfaces, it's good to see you. How many of your asshole friends are starting this semester?"

She laughs, "Most of us. Trina, Brook, and Kirby decided to go elsewhere. There's a good number of us who got into Harvard. Kelly, Mac, Mecca, Dahl, Franklin, and Remi got in. There's a few others, but none that hung out with all of us. We should get together. How about you meet us tonight at Sparky's?"

He smirks, "I see Franklin is still handy with the fake IDs."

The girl smiles, "You still have yours, right?"

He laughs, "Of course. We'll meet you guys tonight. See ya later, Sash."

She stands for a few minutes to wait for her coffee. I try to focus on my book, but I can't help watching her. She is so fidgety, it's quite distracting. She gets her coffee and looks around. She notices me looking at her, and frowns. I immediately go back to my book, feeling like an idiot for watching her.

I hear the chair across from me move. I look and this giant smiling girl is sitting across from me smiling. "Hi! Is that the text for Charms 101?"

I look at the book, "Hello. It is."

She gasps and then giggles, "Oh my God! You're British! That is so cool! I don't think I have ever met anyone from Great Britain before. Wait a minute, I know you! You're Hermione Granger, aren't you?"

I immediately tense. Fuck it will never go away. She looks at me and frowns, and says, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. We, me and my two best friends Kelly and Mac, read everything we could about you and the war. Mac had the biggest crush on Harry Potter. I always admired the stories of you. I couldn't imagine having to go through a war at our age. That's just fucking crazy! I can't believe you're attending Harvard! We read everything during the war and after. Mac was crushed when she read you and Harry Potter had a secret love child. I know it's untrue, but it helped Mac get over her obsession with Harry Potter. Anyway, I didn't mean to gush, and I should have played it cooler than I am. It's just seeing you is very exciting. We all thought you were very brave and have admired you for so long."

Brave…I'm so sick of being described as fucking brave. I wasn't brave enough to save my parents. No I tried to erase myself from their lives and they were killed on the way out of the country. I wasn't brave enough to save Fred, Tonks, and Remus. Tonks died saving my life. She should have lived to raise Teddy. I certainly wasn't brave enough to save Sirius as I was dying on the fucking floor in the Department of Mysteries. I wasn't brave enough to really fight for HIM. I wasn't brave enough to stay on that fucking rock that will never change. Nothing I did was fucking brave. Fuck this girl!

I sternly say, "Nothing about any of that was brave, Miss. I survived because I had to. I prefer not to talk about it, if I'm being honest. I'd prefer not to be admired for something as tragic that war. War is splitting your soul to survive, there is nothing admiral about that."

She frowns, "I'm Sasha Trueblood. I know with you being so far away from home, you don't know anyone. There are seven of us from Ilvermory who are starting next week. I'll be happy to introduce you to everyone. We usually go out to a bar called Sparky's, if you would like to join us tonight."

I nod. "Thank you for the invitation, however I have too much preparing to do in order to be ready for classes. It was nice to meet you Miss Trueblood."

She frowns, "I understand. When we become friends, you won't feel the need to make excuses. I'll let you get to your reading. See you on Tuesday Mia Granger, it was lovely meeting you."

She got up and bounced, literally bounced out of the coffee shop. How did she know my fucking name as Mia? I look down and see my name on my coffee. She was nice, happy, and bloody gorgeous. I hated her immediately.

23 April, 2010

Dagworth-Granger Manor

Sussex, England, United Kingdom

Hermione Granger

I get out of the shower, and spend a few minutes applying moisturizer all over my body. I bought this moisturizer at a shop in The District in New York. It's amazing. It makes my skin velvety smooth, softer than any other moisturizer, and gives a nice natural shine. I look at the label and it's made by DG Potions.

I smile to myself, I never would have bought this amazing moisturizer, if I paid attention to where it was made. I refused to buy anything made in the United Kingdom for a decade. It really sucked when my Doc Marten's busted and I couldn't replace them out of principle. I really loved those boots.

Tonight I'm going on a date with Draco, he was the largest ban I had. He wormed him way in like the snake he is. Fuck, I never stood a chance against him.

19 September, 2010

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Hogsmeade, Scotland

Hermione Granger

I look at the time and it's 12:04 a.m., I am officially nineteen. Happy Birthday to me. I'm sitting in my dorm room alone. It's been a long week. Harry is still ignoring me, especially after the article Rita Skeeter published about us having a secret love child. I'm hitting my breaking point and I'm not sure how long I will be able to continue. I've lost everyone who loved me.

The last couple of weeks have been very strange. Ron and Ginny have been relentlessly rude to me, while Harry ignores me in favor of Ron and Ginny. I don't sit with them anymore. At the Sorting Ceremony when Ginny and Ron made rude backhanded comments to me all through the sorting ceremony, I haven't sat with them. After the first night, when Malfoy apologized to me and we talked all night, the Slytherins have been sitting with me. Pansy Parkinson was the next to apologize to me. Daphne Greengrass, who never spoke to me before this year, has been rather kind. I really enjoy talking with her. Theo Nott has been the same sweet person he has always been to me since Sixth Year. Blaise Zabini is a hopeless flirt, but I recognize it's just his personality, so he isn't necessarily flirting with me. Why would anyone flirt with me? The notion is absolutely preposterous! Once I sat with the Slytherins for a day, Luna started sitting with us followed by the Patil twins, Hannah Abbott, and Susan Bones. A week later Neville started sitting with us after a rather nasty argument between him, Seamus, and Ronald.

It's been surreal. I feel a friendship with everyone growing. Theo and Daphne walk with me in the halls to classes and when I don't have a class with either one of them it's Neville, the Patil twins, and Luna. All of them have been very kind to me. I'm sure if I wasn't so empty inside, I would really appreciate all of them. I can't seem to appreciate anything lately. Losing my parents, Fred, and the Lupins have destroyed my ability to feel anything but sadness.

I want to leave the wizarding world. In the end, they won. There is nothing left for me here, but grief and heartache. I receive daily threats via owls. I get constant Howlers. The students harass me and call me a traitor for befriending Slytherins. It's not worth the fight anymore, I lost all my fight when Andi and Viola wouldn't let me save anyone. I could have saved them all. I would have saved them all!

Although all this stupid shit keeps happening, the most bizarre thing has occurred in the form of Draco Malfoy. From the first night back at Hogwarts he has been a constant in my life. We have talked so much about the war, our parents, friends, and lives. We spend each night in the common room together talking, listening to music, or studying. He doesn't talk to me much during the day, but he hasn't insulted me once. We were even paired in Potions and Arithmancy. He studies with me in the library. I have even hexed a few students who have verbally attacked him. He had impossible choices, and now that I understand him better, I can't let others judge him. He's an innocent compared to the actions I had to take during the war. I simply won't allow anyone to hurt him. He's been a sort of a friend lately.

Everyone is currently partying in the common room. I did attend for a while, but I just feel guilty when I feel anything but sadness, anger, or hate. I don't deserve to feel happy when so many can't feel anything again.

Pansy, Daphne, and Luna grabbed me after dinner and talked me into dressing up for a party we were having in the common room. Their excuse was, "It's Friday night!" Who am I to argue with that logic? Once they were done straightening hair and putting on too much make-up, they squeezed me into a black dress with a low wide neckline, short skirt, and long lace large belled sleeves. I looked rather pretty, I guess. I hardly recognized myself. We entered the party and what little confidence I had was shattered when Ron said I looked nice if my prospects were a Death Eater whore. It broke my heart. I tried to stay and have a couple of drinks, but he ruined the slight amount of happiness I started to feel.

That leaves me to now, sitting in my room alone wishing I was anywhere, but Hogwarts. I catch my appearance in the mirror and I still look nice. I want to cry, but I'm just numb, and the tears just won't come. I stand up and look for my wand to help with my zipper when there is a knock on the door.

I open the door, and Malfoy is standing there.

He's so fucking beautiful! Where did that come from? I hesitate a moment, and then say, "Hi."

He smiles at me, "The party isn't over, Granger. Surely, you know we are young and reckless. Only middle aged people leave parties before they truly begin."

I shrug, "I guess being forced to grow up too fast ruined my recklessness, ferret face."

He shakes his head, "Can I come in?"

He wants to come in my room? Why? I open the door wide and say, "I'm sorry, of course, come in."

He comes into my room and takes a seat in the cozy chair by my bed. "Come sit with me Granger."

Ugh, I can't believe Draco Malfoy is in my room. The Eighth Year wing consists of a large common room with a kitchenette, lots of sitting arrangements, long tables to study, and a large fireplace. On each side of the fireplace are two staircases, the right goes to the boys dormitories and the left to the girls. We all have small private bedrooms that share a Jack and Jill bathroom with the next room. Mine is shared with Hannah Abbott. There are no limitations for boys or girls to enter either dorms like in Gryffindor Tower where the boys couldn't enter the girls dorms. My room is small but has a full size four poster bed, a comfortable chair, a desk and a wardrobe. I moved my chair beside my bed because I never sleep and I can use my bed as a footrest when I sit in the chair to read.

I realize I am still standing by the door, like an idiot. Why can't I seem to function properly near Malfoy lately? I walk over and take an awkward seat on the edge of my bed. He looks at me and smiles.

I look at him and grimace, "I'm sorry, what can I do for you, Malfoy?"

He smirks and runs his eyes down my body. I must look like an idiot. Thank goodness he has enough manners not to say anything.

He licks his bottom lip and reaches into his robes and pulls out a box wrapped in gold paper with a red bow. I just stare at him a moment. Why would Draco Malfoy give me a present?

He laughs, "Take it, Granger. You can unwrap it while I tell you the story of how I came about getting the Gryffindor Princess a gift for her birthday."

I stare at him with my mouth open. He smirks again, and I can't believe Draco Malfoy would get me a present. Did the world actually end? "I promised McGonagall to help tutor Fifth Years in potions for the O.W.Ls next semester in order for her to agree to let leave to get this for you. She allowed me to use her floo to go to The Leaky. I then proceeded to find that area you told me about, North Camden. I went into muggle London from The Leaky. I had a black cab take me to the area until I found a store that sold what I was looking for." He gestures to the package. "Please open it."

I find the end of the ribbon and unravel it. I carefully remove the bow, and slowly unwrap the gift. There are four CD's; Metallica, Reloaded, Godsmack, self titled, Rob Zombie Hellbilly Deluxe, and Marilyn Manson, Mechanical Animals. I look up at him and smile. "Thank you so much. I have to he honest though, I haven't heard of most of these."

He laughs, and nods. "They are all new this year with the exception of the Metallica CD that was released last year. One of them was just released this week. The clerk, whom was American, told me it is 'Bitchin'. He then told me that this one is 'Trippin'. Finally he told me this one was 'Da Bomb'. He also called me 'Dude' quite a bit, but dude seems to be a form of exclamation, as well. I have to say, I do not know what any of that means. I cannot verify they are any good, I can only gauge by the man with purple hair, multiple neck tattoos, and metal all over his face, seemed to really like them. I told him you liked Metallica and he said you might like these. He said 'they all fucking rock' though a couple have more of a industrialized metal sound which has been popularized with post-grunge rock. I only wanted to purchase you something new, and I hope you find something you really like."

I realize my mouth is open and I'm staring at him in shock. This posh git traveled to muggle London to buy me new CDs for my birthday. We have only been kind of friends a couple of weeks and he was thoughtful enough to spend eighty quid on me for my birthday. I feel for the first time since the war ended, maybe there is more to life. I feel my eyes tearing up, but I repress the tears and simply say, "Thank you so much."

He smiles, "I want you to understand I do not understand any of the words I just spoke. I simply memorized what he said so I could tell you about the CDs."

I giggle, "This is quite thoughtful. I haven't bought any new CD's for a long time."

He straightens his tie and smiles, "You're welcome, Granger. Thank you for speaking at my trial and being kind to me. Your love of music has opened a world to me I never knew. I-it means more to me than I could properly express. Merlin knows I don't deserve your kindness, but I'm selfish enough to take it."

I stand up and lean over and give him a friendly hug. It takes a few seconds for him to respond, but when he does he pulls me to him. God he smells amazing! I try to ignore the fact he holds me a little too close and long for a friendly hug. He is just an affectionate person. He hugs Pansy and Daphne all the time. I take a deep breath and breathe him in just a moment longer and pull away.

"Since it's my birthday, how about we show these sheltered wizard and witches some obnoxiously loud muggle music?" I watch as he contemplates this. It's almost as if he is hesitant but be finally acquiesces. I grab my CD player and new CDs, and we head down to the common room.

When we arrive in the Common Room there is a large banner that says "Happy Birthday, Granger." Over by the study tables is a large birthday cake, and more presents. Everyone jumps out and yells, "Surprise."

In that moment, I realize that maybe I do have friends. Malfoy puts his hand on the small of my back and lightly guides me into the room.

We eat cake and I open my presents. Pansy and Daphne gifted me another dress similar to the one I had on and said my current dress is also part of their gift. Neville gave me a charmed Hermione Rose plant that will bloom all year. Hannah and Susan gifted me a really nice red and gold jumper with matching hat, scarf, and gloves. Luna gave me a silver moon shaped pendant with a small sapphire, for protection from whackspurts. Theo and Blaise gifted me four giant boxes of multi-flavored sugar quills. The Patils gave me two master level books on transfiguration and charms. Harry gifted me pink Rainbow Brite socks and purple Barbie socks as well as a box of ball point pens to take notes with. Ron even gifted me a box of pumpkin pastries, and gave me a half arsed apology for what he said earlier.

I blew out the candles and we devoured the chocolate cake. Harry presented me with a banoffee pie because he knows always reminds me of my dad. He apologized for ignoring me. After the cake was eaten Malfoy and Theo cleared out a large space and we played my CDs and danced all night.

Neville loved Marilyn Manson and requested to replay 'I Don't Like the Drugs'. Theo and Blaise replayed Godsmack's song 'Whatever' multiple times. We all replayed Dragula by Rob Zombie and luckily Dean Thomas knew a dragula is a automobile. Everyone loved the beat and darkness of the song. At the end of the night or rather very early in the morning, Malfoy pulled me into a dance when we played Metallica's 'Unforgiven II'. He held me closer than appropriate. I pretended for a moment I was the kind of girl he would want in a world with no bigotry, war, and normal teenage angst. I'm pretty sure I fell for him that night. I never stood a chance against him. That night was the first time I felt alive since the end of the war, and a part of me wanted to live and be happy again.

23 April, 2010

Dagworth-Granger Manor

Sussex, England

Hermione Granger

My nineteenth birthday was one of my favorite memories. It's been so long since I allowed myself to even think about it. It was of course banned. I couldn't allow myself to remember how Draco's eyes followed me when I first arrived at the party with Pansy and Daphne. He was standing by the windows with Theo, Blaise, and Neville smoking probably something Neville grew. I felt his eyes on me for the first part of the party. I know now he had already formed a crush on me, but then I thought he was shocked I could wear something at night other than my dad's old Cambridge jumper. Turning nineteen was a wonderful memory and was such a contrast to my twentieth birthday.

I spent my twentieth birthday alone in my apartment and cried all day. I was so nervous about starting Uni, and I was feeling so lonely. That loneliness was the only reason I didn't hex Sasha on the first day classes started.

21 September, 1999

Harvard Magical University

Cambridge, Massachusetts, United States

Hermione Granger

Fuck my life! I cried for the last four days. My birthday was brutal and all I did was relive every mistake I ever made. I'm such a coward. I don't want to go to classes today. It's the first day of classes and I'm miserable and scared. I'm such a coward. I take a look at my schedule one last time. I have an eight o'clock Transfiguration class. I haven't been this nervous since I was eleven and boarding the Hogwart's Express. I check the time and it's 6:27 a.m. I look in the mirror one last time. I'm wearing a black and brown plaid skirt and with a black jumper. My hair is tamed and pulled up with stray curls framing my face. I opted for light makeup and Mary Jane flats. I grab my new backpack with a undetectable extension charm and a feather light charm and apparate to the only apparation point on campus. I walk a few minutes to the Magical University entrance and sitting on a bench in front are three girls. They are dressed in matching tie-dyed t-shirts and jeans. One of them I recognize as Sasha Trueblood, the girl from the coffee shop. I look down and make my way into the church so I can get to the magical side of the University.

I get close to the door and I hear, "Hermione Granger."

Fucking hell! I look over and Sasha is smiling at me. "Oh my God! I'm so glad we were able to catch you. These are my friends Mychaelia Murphy and Kelly Spangle. There are eight of us total. Last night Kelly and I charmed all of our shirts so only you can see them. I wanted to let you know, that if you need anything all you have to do is find someone in one of these shirts and they will help you."

I glare at her. It was actually very nice of her to do that, if not a bit weird. "Th-thank you, Sasha. It was nice of you to be so thoughtful. Please call me Mia."

She squeals like she Lavender Brown and I nearly silence her, "Mia, would you like to grab a coffee before classes begin with us?"

I hesitate for a moment. I really don't want to, but I can't deny I need a little socialization after the past few brutal days I've had. I smile, "I would really like that, thank you."

We walk to the coffee shop while the three of them talk incessantly about the beginning of term and people I didn't know. We finally get to the coffee shop and she buys my coffee and a scone. We get settled and I ask, "Why Woodstock shirts? Wasn't that a concert in the 60's?"

Sasha smiles and bounces a little in her seat. She answers, "A bunch of us went to Woodstock this summer for the 30th anniversary. It was amazing! There were so many bands, so many people, and so many drugs! It was such a great time and the first time our group has been able to do something like that together. It was a great celebration of our graduation this year. At least until the moron triplets Josh, Jason, and Mikey, started fires and a little riot."

I nod, I guess we can discuss music. "What bands were there?"

She smiles, "Oh my God! Rage Against the Machine, Godsmack, The Offspring, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Korn, Bush."

Mychaelia adds, "Alanis Morrissette, Jewel, Ice Cube, ICP, Everclear."

Kelly says, "Oh and Metallica! They killed it!"

At the mention of Metallica I frown and visibly shiver. He who must be banned from all thoughts was obsessed with Metallica and listened to that CD constantly. It was mostly background noise for us, but it always was playing. Sasha is watching me, and asks, "Do you not like Metallica?"

I debate how to answer. I used to. It reminds me of a person who claimed to loved me and threw me away like yesterday's rubbish. I settle for, "Not particularly, no."

Sasha frowns like she knows there is more to the story, but simply nods, and says, "It's much too metally for my tastes, as well."

Mychaelia laughs, "Metally is not a word, Sash."

Sasha smiles, "Of course it is! I just said it therefore it is a word. How do you even think language began? Someone saw an object and named it; rock, fire, tree, etcetera. Others began using the same sounds to identify those things. Now we can verbally communicate. We are constantly evolving as a species. New inventions and words come into existence everyday. I just invented metally as a word to describe a band with too many guitar riffs. I'm a fucking pioneer!"

We all shared a laugh.

23 April, 2010

Dagworth-Granger Manor

Sussex, England

Hermione Granger

We met every morning that week. I shared a class with each of the girls and on the first day I pulled my wand on Colton when he startled me. All of the guys stayed clear of me for a while, but I began a tentative friendship with Sasha, Kelly, and Mac.

Sasha bangs on the bathroom door and I open it. She looks at me and frowns, "You're nervous. Did you bang out the baby juice in the shower. This is a first date, you must maintain some decorum."

I roll my eyes and laugh, "Bang out the baby juice? Fuck Sasha, we hang out with the guys way too much if that is how you refer to masturbation. To answer your question, no I didn't. It's not necessary. Sex is the last thing on my mind right now. We have only been in England for a week and I feel quite overwhelmed by everything that has transpired. You know me and sex isn't an intricate part of my life. It isn't important to me."

She smirks, then laughs at me. She has always seen through me. In and condesending sweet voice she says, "Mia, if you weren't so full of shit, I doubt our friendship would have lasted so long. I love when your little nose scrunches up when I say something you don't like. You're just too cute, like an angry kitten." She giggles and then sighs, with a serious tone she continues, "Sex isn't important to you because you've found your soulmate and bonded with them. Nothing can be as fulfilling as sex with your soulmate. You may be able to fool everyone else, but you can't get past me. The Douchebag is it for you, but you aren't exactly the personification of Trust. It will be hard work for him to gain your trust again. I don't want to see you have any regrets when you inevitably forgive him, marry him, and make lots of nieces and nephews for me to spoil."

I smile. She's right. It took awhile to trust her.

30 October, 1999

Sparky's Bar and Grill

Cambridge, Massachusetts, United States

Hermione Granger

Andrew Stark is a Ilvermory Alumni and legend. In 1976, he opened a bar near Harvard University and the ground floor is a No-Maj bar and grill. If you go down a long corridor in the back of the bar it leads you to a magical brick wall. The magic works very similarly to Platform nine and three quarters at King's Cross in London. Once you cross the brick wall it leads you to the first and second floors of the building where Sparky's is located. Andrew Stark earned his name Sparky while he was attending Ilvermory. He had a tendency to make things explode and cause fires in the same fashion as Seamus Finnegan.

Tonight is the Saturday before Halloween and there is a large costume party at Sparky's. Wizarding drinking law differs from the No-Maj laws in America. No-Maj must be over 21 to consume alcohol, however magical law only requires you to be over magical legal age of seventeen. However if you are caught drinking under age by No-Maj police, you are subject to be punished by their laws.

After five weeks of Sasha asking me to go out with her and their group, I finally agreed. We have met every morning for coffee. Sasha and I have transfiguration and charms together. Mychaelia and I share Arithmancy and Ancient Runes. Kelly is in my computer class. My other classes have their friends, four guys and a girl who is friends with the guys, but not the girls. All of the girls have dated all of the guys at one point in their friendships. It seems weird to me and quite frankly I haven't really been paying attention to the history of it all. Sasha says her deep emotional relationship and bad breakup with Josh in the seventh grade gave her trust issues. Kelly and Colton have been off and on in a relationship for three years. There's more, but their drama is so trivial I hardly keep up. They don't have any idea what it's like to fight for your right to live in the world.

Regardless the girls have proven to be great study partners. We meet in the library Monday through Thursday each week. Sometimes one of their other friends will join us, but I have started to enjoy their company. After the first week of me shutting down all topics not pertaining to our course work, they have been quite respectful of my boundaries.

I told them I don't want to talk about my past, any of my past. It's too painful, and I don't want to have to explain the decisions I was forced to make. They don't need to know how fucked up I am. They had very happy normal teenage drama filled lives. They were able to worry about boys, fashion, and gossip. They never lost anyone close to them. They never had decide who lives and who dies. Though they have an innocence about them, and immaturity I can't relate to, they have been quite kind to me. I have grown closer to them and seek out their company while on campus. They have invited me out several times and I decline every time. I would always be an outsider to them. They have been friends since they were small children. They have a history I'll never be a part of. Again I'm an outsider, the only difference is I don't care to fight for a place in their lives.

I look in the mirror one last time. I'm dressed as a cat, sort of. I have on a strapless black leather mini-dress with a tail transfigured on the back, and thigh-high stiletto black leather boots with cushioning and balance charms, and long black leather gloves that go to my mid-upper arm. My eyes are very smokey with a red lip. I transfigured whiskers on my lower cheeks, and painted the tip of my nose pink. I found a ten dollar headband with black cat ears. My hair is styled in wavy curls. I look like a slaggy feline of some sort. Sasha just said dress in as little as possible and look hot. I'm not sure I can pull of hot, I'm definitely pulling off ridiculous.

I apparate to the Alley behind the bar and make my way up to the magical bar. The whole place is black with several strobe lights in the corners. Decorated pumpkins line the top of the bar back. Animated transfigured bats are flying above. The ceiling had pumpkins and candles hanging well above our heads. I search for a few minutes and find Sasha and her friends on the second floor at a large table.

Sasha sees me and yells, "MIA! YOU MADE IT!" She is dressed in a red flannel, jean mini skirt, and pointy boots and a large hat.

I walk over, "Hi. What are you dressed as?"

She laughs, "I'm a cowgirl. Have you never watched a western movie? You look amazing!"

I shake my head, "No, my parents were more into dramas and comedy."

She smiles, "Let's get you some tequila, Kitty-Kat!"

A few hours later….I've had soooooo much tequila. Thisstuffisamazing!

"That's what I'm talking about! A magical internet. Think about it, it would have to work like an AM/FM frequency so only magical people would know how to access it. You'd have to do somefing…I don't know what, but something to make sure only magical beings and magical devices could access it. Set it up with completely different servers or, well I just don't know enough about it. But how awesome would it be to search, I don't know, like 'making a man's penis shrivel up', and have every charm, hex, and potion come up that can do that? Why has no one done this?"

Colton laughs, "Your brutal. Shriveling penises, is that a skill you need, Mia?"

I frown, "Not so much now a days, but I can think of a few times it would have been useful. Fuck! The data base for something like that would be crazy! That's what I'm going to do! I'm creating a wizarding internet!"

Colton laughs, "It's actually a great idea. You would need to learn the technical side of things, but you could probably do that at M.I.T. it's still close by, and since it's a No-Maj school you may be able to attend both schools."

Hmmm, with the time-turner I could do both. I get up and stumble. Why is the room spinning? Sasha walks up to me and takes my elbow and says, "How about I help you home?"

I laugh at her, "I have no home!"

She smiles, "I'll help you back to your apartment to make sure your safe."

I laugh again, "I will be safe, I can take out half this bar before you even find your wands. I'm better off alone, anyway."

Sasha looks shocked and looks to the others first before saying, "We are your friends. I know you are hurting, I see your aura, you are a mess. Please let me take you home."

I huff, "You can see fucking auras! All this time you could read my fucking emotions! Go back to your happy life, with your happy friends. You don't need the toxicity I have inside me. They either leave me, or die. That's what happens to my friends, Sasha. They die, and if they don't die, they leave me like I'm nothing. Which one are you going to be, Sasha?"

She grabs me around my waist and apparates me to an apartment, presumably hers. "How fucking dare you! Just go back to your happy friends, I'm a fucking lost cause. You'll leave me like HE did!"

Sasha comes closer, "Mia why don't you get some sleep. You drank a lot of tequila tonight. It was fun having you out with us. You need to let loose more often."

I start crying, "I can't sleep because HE is always fucking there. He's there promising to love me forever and destroying me. He destroyed me and I don't know how to survive without him."

She puts her arm around me and guides me to the couch, "Who?"

I cry harder and say, "He's banned. I'm not allowed to think about him and how fucking he happy is with his stupid fucking fiancé Astoria Fucking Greengrass!"

Sasha moves my hair behind my ear, "Men fucking suck. Was he your soulmate, Mia?"

I frown, "Someone said something like that before, but if he could leave me, it must not be true."

Sasha grins, "I suspected. Your chakras are a mess, your aura is all over the place, and your magical core is weakened. You will gain strength through time. You have to allow love in your life, not romantic love, but friends. Love is the most powerful magic. I only want to be your friend. I know I was fan-girling you a bit, but I have started to care about you, for you. You are wickedly smart, you are sarcastic as all hell, and all of us really like you. Would you like a sober-up potion, popcorn, and a stupid movie to watch?"

I sniffle, and look at her a minute. She looks so sincere and concerned, I like her. She has been a friend to me. It's time I start living life on my terms. I smile at her and say, "A movie would be nice."

She claps her hands and says, "Great! Kel just got a copy of the South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut on VHS. Her mother is a Hollywood bigshot. Kelly has no relationship with her parents. Her mom is on her fifth marriage and ignores Kel, her dad's last girlfriend was 20 years old. He thinks Kelly kills his game and just throws money at her in loo of spending any time with her. Mac was raped by her brother's best friend when she was 14. Her brother called her a liar and he moved in with their dad and won't speak to her. Her dad took her brother's side. She has some very deep seated intimacy issues. I hated being taller than all the other girls and have only recently recovered from an eating disorder. Colton's father is borderline abusive. Jason and Mikey once had a heroine problem until their best friend was killed in a car accident last year. Josh, he lost his parents at a early age and was in magical foster care for years with some of the worst people on the planet. You'll find all this out eventually, but I wanted you to know. We aren't perfect and aren't happy. We are all fucked up. What we do have is each other, and have for years. I know you need us, and we need you too. Let us in Mia." I wipe my tears away and nod. She hugs me tight and it felt so good, like maybe I wasn't alone. She releases me and smiles, "Now let's watch something funny and eat popcorn!"

By the time we were settled in with the movie, Kelly, Mac, Josh, Jason, Mikey, and Colton joined us. We watched this ludicrous movie twice and it was the first time in awhile I felt a semblance of peace.

23 April, 2010

Dagworth-Granger Manor

Sussex, England, United Kingdom

Hermione Granger

"What are you wearing tonight?" Sasha asks.

I point to the trunk, "I have three racks of clothes shrunk in there. I couldn't decide what to pack, so I packed one of my closets."

She shakes her head, and opens the trunk and pulls out the three racks of clothes and waves her hand to enlarge them. I may have packed a bit much for a week's stay, but I couldn't decide what to bring.

She looks over the racks and says, "Cheese and Rice, Mia! What in the fuck did you think you'd be doing while in England? There's a million dollars in these 3 racks."

I bite my lips, and shrug. I really did over pack, but I wanted to look pretty. "I-I couldn't decide."

She looks through the racks. "You are wearing this, the black lace Valentino baby doll dress. You'll look hot. We'll fix your hair in a loose updo with tendrals, natural eyes and red lips. Sound good?"

I smile, "Yes. What would I do without you, Kelly, and Mac? I blame you for my addiction to pretty clothes and expensive shoes."

She feigns a look of innocence, "It wasn't my fault. That was all Kelly. I simply encouraged her endeavors."

I go to the trunk and pull a nice black sheer bra and panty set. I start putting them on and Sasha asks, "Mia what happened to your scars? They are all gone."

Fuck! When Dina healed me, she removed the damage of the time turner and removed my scars. The burns from Bellatrix's vault, the mudblood scar, the scar on my neck, and the scars from the Department of Mysteries. I didn't think anyone would notice because I usually glamour them. "Sash…Fuck, I can't tell you. I was healed, and it's really all I can say. I wish I could, but apparently I've been silenced again. Please understand, I want to."

She's staring at me, "I thought I was seeing things. Your laugh lines are gone and the crows feet around you eyes have smoothed out. I don't know what you got yourself into, but damn Mia, you look amazing."

I finish putting on my lingerie, and grab the dress to put on. "Alright Sash, work your magic."

She grabs her wand and starts drying my hair. "Theo is amazing. Do you think my dad will like him?"

I laugh, "Your father won't like anyone who is taking his favorite child away from him."

She smirks, "We are talking about me, not you. We all know you are my father's favorite."

I sigh, "That's not true. You have that big strong man wrapped around your finger. He will accept Theo because you want him to, and he will learn to tolerate Theo because Connie will absolutely love him."

Sasha laughs, "You're right. Mom will adore him. He's just as twisted as I am. He so smart, and in tune with his emotions. He has a wicked sense of humor, and hides his cunning and depth behind it. And he's so fucking sexy! I want him so bad, but I want to wait until Summer Solstice so we can strengthen our bond."

I look at her, "What do you mean strengthen your bond, I thought you were soulmates?"

She chews her bottom lip, "Well we are soulmates in the conventional sense. Bonding during the solstice is old magic. His magic, his aura, his magical core are compatible with mine. We are destined to be each other's person. He is meant to be mine in this life. There is another type of soulmates like you and the Douchebag. Your bond transcends space and time. In every lifetime you both live, you will find each other. Your bond is pure and together you are whole. Theo and I are more of a conventional definition of soulmates. Remember when I said there are seven people in the world you are meant for in any given lifetime?"

I nod because she has always said this as long as I have known her.

She continues, "There are seven people in the world for you. Three people you could live your lifetime with, but something would always be missing, one person would always love one more than the other. Then there are three you could relatively live a happy life with. There will be obstacles along the way but you could have a good life with. There is only one person who will love you in the most perfect way, and you love them the same way. You'll have perfect communication, perfect sex, and a perfect connection. That one person is your soulmate. It's how soulmates were always described to me. However, Aponi believes there are soulmates who are true soulmates and have been together throughout human existence. They meet and love each other in every life journey. Their love and bond transcends the limitations a lifetime bond has. That is what you and Draco have."

I take a deep breath. Sandy explained the same thing to me. We were Deities who were reborn. Perfect mates made of the same strand of Gaia's hair. I grab the bridge of my nose and close my eyes.

Sasha gasps, "You already know this, don't you?"

I look at her and scoff, "How could I not? We have been back in England a week and I'm already going on a date with Draco. Ricbert called him my mate. I haven't felt so whole since he came back into my life. I wanted to deny it, I tried to think of anything but him. My mind is all over the place, but my heart has only had room for him. Even when he broke me, it was always him. I feel bad for all the guys I have dated through the years because they never stood a chance because my heart only beats for him."

Sasha hugs me, "I know, Mia. That's why I want to punch his stupid perfect face."

I smirk, "Punching him is quite satisfying."

She laughs, "I bet it is! I'll stick to waiting to be satisfied by Theo. He's coming over tonight to hang out with us."

I point my finger at her, "No trashing my house!"

She smirks, "We haven't trashed a house since 2006."

I shake my head, "I know, but the moron triplets are here. Josh is still pissed off at me."

She looks at me knowingly, "He'll get over it eventually. He loves you, and he'll be there for you as a friend. He doesn't have a lot of people and he clings to you. Don't worry, he'll be supportive when he sees you are happy."

She continues to pull at my hair, while she is pinning it in place magically. "Should I wait for Summer Solstice before Draco and I reconnect?"

She laughs, "Absolutely! Would serve the fuckhead right! I know, that's not what you mean. Mia, you don't need to wait. He's already yours, heart, mind, body, and soul. Wait until you have no doubts. I know you well enough to know you will question everything, and not give him your trust until you've decided the only thing that matters is your love for each other. When you are out of doubts, you have my full permission to climb him like a monkey and fuck his ever living brains out."

I giggle, and she completes the make-up glamour. "Thank you, Sash. You really are the best friend I could ever ask for."

She smiles, "I am pretty amazing, aren't I? Now be ready to be amazed again and check your self out."

I get up and look in the mirror and I do look great. My hair is in a loose updo with tendrals framing my face. My make-up is subtle with cherry red lips. "Thanks Sasha."

She hugs me, "Let's find some accessories."

I grab my beaded bag, "Wait I have the perfect items." I reach into my beaded bag and open it enough to crawl inside. At the very bottom hidden in a secret pocket I created, I find my old childhood jewelry box. I created the pocket when I moved to America and cleaned out my bag the first time. I haven't touched it in ten years. I grab it and open it. Inside are earrings I received as a child from my parents and Mina/Ophelia. Hundreds of them. Now that I look at them I can tell the gems I received from Mina/Ophelia are real. There are a several necklaces and bracelets that are matching sets to the earrings. Ophelia as Mina and as Viola gifted me several pieces from the age of 3 to 18 for birthdays, holidays, and random achievements. Sets such as the Alexandrite set of nice teardrop earrings, pendant necklace, and tennis bracelet set in platinum. The gems appear black but in the light they transform into brilliant shades of red and green. I shake my head. It's as if she knew I'd end up in Gryffindor, but had to fight the hat to not be placed in Slytherin. I laugh to myself, because she told me who I was in so many subtle ways. I grab the earrings and the bracelet. I remove everything in the jewelry box's bottom to reveal a hidden compartment, and grab a bracelet I never thought I'd want to see again. I look at it for several minutes. The bracelet is platinum and I take the tiny dragon with Alexandrite eyes and stroke it softly before I place it next to the Alexandrite bracelet.

Sasha asks, "What's all this?"

I smile, "It's jewelry from my parents and Ophelia when she was Mina and Viola."

She let's out a slow whistle, "These are beautiful."

I put everything away and we head downstairs for a couple of shots to chase away my nerves while we wait for Draco. I can't believe so much has happened in the last two days, but I feel a weight lifted from my soul. I'm looking forward and not looking back at all my regrets for the first time in so many years. I feel something that is unfamiliar. It's bubbling inside of me, I think maybe I have not have felt this in years so it's hard to describe. All I know is it feels a little bit like hope.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N The four CDs mentioned release dates in the U.S. are as follows:

Metallica Reloaded November 18, 1997

Godsmack and Rob Zombie August 25, 1998

Marilyn Manson September 15, 1998

These were the release dates in the U.S. I have no idea when or if they were released at the same time in the U.K. Fuck it. This is fiction, so I just went with it.