It starts in the Attic of the Edd's house. We were looking through some of the things in the attic and organizing some stuff. Ronnie Anne then arrived and with her was a girl with brown hair, blue shirt, black shorts and she had a red hair band.
Ronnie Anne: Hey guys.
Lincoln: Hey sweetie.
Me: Hey R.A. Who's your friend?
Ronnie Anne: Guys, this is my friend, Syd Chang.
Syd Chang: It's so awesome to meet you guys! My name is Sydney Chang. But everyone calls me Syd. I just moved here from Florida.
Me: Oh wow! Welcome to Gotham Royal York. It's a pleasure to meet you Syd. I'm J.D. Knudson, leader of Team Loud Phoenix Storm.
Syd: Oh awesome! I heard so much about all your awesome adventures!
Me: We get that all the time.
Syd: My favorite adventure you guys did was when you guys destroyed Nerissa.
Me: That was one of our most epic and action packed adventures.
Lincoln: It sure was.
Nico: I'll never forget that.
Me: Me neither. But the sheer ferocity of our power combined was going to tear the whole planet apart because of it. The combined strength of our power was enough to destroy 100 solar systems.
Syd: Wow! That is incredible!
Me: It was.
We introduced ourselves to Syd.
Syd: Wow! It's so awesome to meet you all.
Lori: Same here Syd.
Syd: What are you all doing?
Me: We're looking through some of Edd's stuff here in his attic. He has a lot of awesome momentos from his and the Ed's times in Peach Creek in Atlanta.
Syd: Oh wow!
I found an old shrunken small deflated inner tube. It was no bigger than a jewelry ring.
Me: This inner tube is shot.
Eddy: Oh that is from our Creek Cruise Scam. The Kanker's ruined that one.
Marie K.L.: I can't believe we did that.
Me: Me neither.
Laney: Hey check out these old mattresses.
Eddy: Oh yeah! I remember these.
Edd: And I made this one.
We saw a bed that looked like a cornucopia and it's pillows were the fruit.
Me: Wow! That is a very artistic one.
Edd: That is my best work. I made that one for a scam we did selling old refurbished junkyard mattresses.
Linka: Let me try that one.
Linka laid down in it and she was really comfortable.
Me: How does it feel?
Linka: It's really comfy. I think they threw this one out by mistake.
Me: Hmm.
I scanned the mattress and discovered that she was right. The mattress was thrown out by accident.
Me: This mattress is brand new all right.
Linka: Cool. My bed is starting to fall apart.
Lori: Linka is right. Her bed and mattress are old and springs are starting to pop out.
Me: Well I think this bed is perfect for her.
Edd: It sure is J.D. Linka is more than welcome to have it.
Linka then kissed Edd on the cheek and he was sizzling with a blush and a feeling of love.
All: Awww.
I pulled out a cool device with a fish bowl globe around it and there was a lot of stuff in it.
Me: Hey this is pretty interesting.
Edd: That's our Thing-a-ma Jig J.D. It's a really handy device we made for a scam we did.
Me: Neat. Lets see what it can do. How does it work?
Edd: You press that red button and whatever that person wants comes out.
Syd: Think a chair can pop out of it?
Me: Lets see.
I press the button and the device rattled with vigor and an arm chair popped out of the device and Syd was comfortable.
Me: Wow! That was awesome!
Syd: That was amazing!
Me: This is a very spiffy device.
Edd: I only made one of them and Eddy sold it in a scam he did.
Eddy: Yeah the boxes for them had light bulbs, bricks, used fly paper tape strips, sawdust and junk.
Me: I think this would be a really handy device. I have the power to make more of anything when needed.
I snapped my fingers and made 6 more of Thing-A-Ma Jigs.
Me: Ta da!
Edd: That was amazing!
Me: Thanks Double D.
Syd: That is so cool how you are able to do that!
Me: Thanks Syd.
Eddy: The Scam I did for it was ruined by Captain Melonhead.
Me: That must be an alter ego of Jonny.
Edd: It was.
Me: Neat.
In the attic we found a cabinet of a bunch of contraptions made by Edd. We saw a newspaper machine, elevation boots, body heat seeking goggles and more.
Me: Wow! What's all this?
Edd: This is my Cabinet of Failed Inventions.
Me: Wow. You guys have made some really interesting machines.
I take the body heat seeking goggles and look at them.
Syd: Ooh what are those?
Edd: These are body heat seeking goggles.
Syd: Oh cool! Let me see them.
Syd put them on and Edd turned them on and she saw everything in infrared vision. It was like she was looking through an infrared thermal imaging camera.
Syd: Oh this is so awesome! This is like how snakes see their prey!
Me: How did you know that snakes see like that?
Ronnie Anne: Her mom is a zoologist. She knows all kinds of animals and her mom got a job at the Gotham Royal York Zoo.
Lana: Oh that is awesome!
Lily: We love the zoo.
Laney: Learning all about the animals is one of our favorite things to do.
Me: That's awesome! We went on an awesome worldwide adventure and we saw all of the worlds Volcanoes. My daughter Nicole is a volcanologist.
Syd: Oh that is awesome! I saw volcanoes erupt in documentaries and it is really scary how they can erupt like that.
Me: It sure is. Have you heard about what happened to the town of Dante's Peak?
Syd: I sure did. That was horrible.
Me: Yeah but the good news is that no one died that day. But the whole town was a total loss. Completely destroyed.
Syd: Yeah that was bad. But it's good that no one died. I also heard about that asteroid that slammed into Dallas.
Me: Yeah that was a catastrophe. Thousands of people dead and trillions of dollars in damage. But the asteroid that slammed into it was the size of a huge apartment complex and it weighed 240 million pounds. It struck with the power of 250 atomic explosions.
Syd: That is awful.
Me: It was. But this will help us be more prepared for future asteroid impacts. Like when we stopped a massive 100 mile wide asteroid that was going to slam into the Earth in the year 3,000.
Syd: That's awesome that you did that!
Me: Thanks Syd.
Ronnie Anne: We have done it all.
As I was lifting up a box I saw a bunch of old newspapers.
Me: Hey look at these newspapers.
We looked through them. And we saw that some of the news papers were dated to the dates of some of our most amazing adventures.
Me: Wow. These newspapers are for our adventures.
Syd: Oh that is so awesome!
Me: It sure is.
Ed: Cool.
Then I found one newspaper that really stood out from the others and it was dated from July 14th, 2014. It was actually a bunch of newspapers stuck together. What we saw was extremely horrifying. It showed on the front page an incredibly horrible picture of the entire city of Atlanta, Georgia completely reduced to flaming rubble and there were buildings burning and thousands of people were dead. All the buildings were completely destroyed and burning on fire. Cars were thrown into the buildings and the entire city looked like it was hit by a nuclear explosion. Damage was estimated to be in the hundreds of trillions of dollars. The article said in big bold letters: "ATLANTA CATASTROPHICALLY DESTROYED!" In smaller letters was "3 Sisters to Blame For City-Wide Devastation" and a picture of the mugshots of the Kanker Sisters was below it.
Me: Whoa look at this!
We saw the newspaper and we all gasped in horror.
Marie K.L.: I remember that! That was horrible that we completely destroyed all of Atlanta.
Me: So this was the true cause of the Vengeance Express?
Edd: It was. And that was a horrible day for all of us and all of Atlanta and Peach Creek.
Me: This is horrifying.
We read the whole series of papers and we saw that the Kanker's were the true cause of the Vengeance Express that sent the kids of Peach Creek on a statewide hunt for the Ed's intending to kill them and mount their heads on pikes. The Kanker's were found guilty of numerous crimes as a result and they were sentenced to serve 3 eternity sentences in prison with no hope of parole and were ordered to pay $1,512,323,435,734,899,900.00 in restitution. They were also declared the most hated kids in all of America and the 3 biggest mistakes any parent could ever make. Their mom Bebe was made the most hated woman who ever lived and she was killed by an angry mob armed with pitchforks and torches for giving birth to the most hated children ever.
Me: So the whole truth was covered up to make sure no one ever found out and hated them.
Marie K.L.: I can't believe we did all that to Atlanta. Stupid May and Lee. They ruined my life and my name!
Syd: That was horrible. I was never told about this.
Me: None of us were. I think it was to make sure that no one ever found out the real truth. Talk about a major league conspiracy.
Suddenly I had a memory flashback. I suddenly remembered that I was the one that brought the Kanker Sisters to justice and saved the Ed's from being violated and raped by them.
Me: I remember now! I was the one that threw the Kanker's in prison and I saved you guys from being raped and violated.
Everyone gasped.
Marie K.L.: I remember that now! Thank goodness you did. I was a monster. But Luan managed to help me realize what a monster I was.
Luan: I'm glad I did Marie. Your sisters were beyond pure evil.
Nico: And they are now forever in prison with no hope of parole and are completely beyond any form of rehabilitation.
Me: Lets head to the simulator and get a full glimpse of this. I need a lot of help jogging my memory.
Nico: That's a good idea.
We went back to the estate.
In the Simulator we got ready. Me, Nico, The Loud Kids, Ronnie Anne, Snake Man, Casey, William, Maria, Stewie, Elena, Volcana, G1 Soundwave, Hardhead, Timon, Pumbaa and Energon Sharkticon were heading in.
Marie K.L.: I'm just going to stay here in the control room for this one. Don't want to cause too much confusion.
Me: Good idea Marie. The Ed's and the Kids of the Cul-De-Sac are gonna stay and watch too.
Edd handed me a map.
Me: What's this Double D?
Edd: It's a map of our route that we took to Eddy's brother's house in Mondo A Go Go Seaside Amusement Park.
Me: It'll come in handy. Thanks Double D.
We then went into the Simulator and it activated. We then saw the entirety of Peach Creek completely reduced to rubble. All the houses and buildings were totally on fire and destroyed. It looked like something out of a post-apocalyptic war movie.
Snake Man: What the hell happened here?
Casey: Man, it looks like a nuke hit this place.
Me: It sure does look like it. Lets survey the damage.
We did so and we saw the entirety of Atlanta, Georgia completely engulfed in flames and it was completely reduced to burning rubble. Thousands of people were dead and cars were in the buildings and the buildings were all piles of burning metal.
Me: This is horrible!
Laney: I can't believe that the Kanker Sisters would cause so much destruction.
Lori: Those Kanker sisters literally disgust me.
Lola: Me too. But where did they go?
Me: They went after the kids to prevent them from pulverizing the Ed's. Lets follow this map.
I opened the map and it showed an interesting route that the Ed's took.
In the control room, everyone saw the destruction.
Eddy: I swear, when I did the Scam of the Century, the damage wasn't this bad.
Marie K.L.: The destruction was worse than what we first remember.
Me: Lets head out guys and you all will love your new friends.
I whistled. Horse neighing was heard and out came my Rapidash and there were other Rapidash with them, but they were also of different elemental kinds.
William: Rapidash that aren't Fire Types? That's a new one.
Me: Yep. We just discovered that there are other Rapidash of different elements.
Lola: That is so awesome!
Lincoln: It sure is. Me and Linka love the Lightning Rapidash.
Linka: You got that right.
Laney: The Grass Rapidash is an amazing one.
Lana: The Ice one is awesome!
Me: Lets get going guys.
G1 Soundwave (ejects Ravage): Ravage: Eject. Operation: Track Eds.
Me: Lets ride. Hyah!
We set out to track the Eds.
We followed the map to the first landmark. We were at a small desert on the eastern side of the state. There was nothing there. No cactuses, no water, not even goat skulls. We arrived at a huge rock in the middle of the desert that was tipped over and there were destroyed car pieces all over.
Me: Look at all this.
Lynn: This looks like the pieces of Eddy's Brother's car.
Nico: It sure looks like it.
We saw smashed up car parts all over the ground. On the trunk of the car was a label that said "Out of Order."
Me: What's this? "Out of Order." This is definitely Double D's handwriting.
Lisa: Indubitably 2nd Elder Brother. Eddward has been here.
Me: They all have been here. Lets get moving.
We proceeded on.
We arrived at the Cow Meadow. It was on a massive farm and there were hundreds of Dairy Cows all over the area.
Me: Wow! Look at all these cows. It's like Ogallala, Nebraska. There's a massive Dairy Farm there and it is rank.
Leni: It's ranked at what?
Lori: No Leni. That means it literally smells horrible.
Luna: That is bad dudes.
Timon: This place is better off for mooks.
Pumbaa: I don't think they would like you saying that Timon.
Lana: Hey guys look at this!
We saw Eddy's face drawn on a cows udder.
Me: Eddy's face is on this cows udder. They've been here all right.
Nico: Looks like we're on the right track.
G1 Soundwave: They went that way. (Points east)
We left the meadow.
We arrived at our next landmark: The Field of Tall Sunflowers.
Me: Wow! These Sunflowers are huge.
Luan: They sure are Sunny. (Laughs) Get it?
Me: Love the jokes Luan but now is not the time.
Syd: I love Sunflowers. They are so pretty.
Ronnie Anne: They sure are.
Elena: I would not want to use this field as a hideout.
Volcana: Me neither Elena.
We exited the field of sunflowers.
We arrived at the next landmark. We were at the abandoned Lemonbrook Gag Factory. We saw that there were springy snake toys all over the place.
Me: Wow! Look at all these springy false snakes.
Luan: These are from the snake in the jelly bean can gag. That gag is really old.
Me: It sure is. But it is a funny one. But I don't think one of those gags is gonna be enough to scatter all these false spring snakes all over the place.
Lisa: Usually they only have one of those novelty snakes in each can. But it looks like just one can must've scattered all these.
We went into the factory and we saw the power turned on and the factory was back up and running.
Me: Looks like someone started the factory up again. Lets take a look around and see what we can find here.
We did so and we found a lot of gags and novelty toys that Luan would like to use in her Funny Business job.
Lincoln: How long has this factory been shut down?
Me: From what I remember it was shut down 15 years ago in our time.
Casey: This place has really seen better days.
Hardhead: No kidding.
Lily went up to the main office in the factory and she found that all the documents were reduced to dust due to the dust of time.
Lily: These documents aren't worth squat. (Sees something) What's this?
Lily picked up a strip and she saw that it was a label with the words "Dusty dusty dusty" on it.
Lily: Dusty Dusty Dusty? The Ed's were here all right!
Lily came out and showed us.
Me: Dusty Dusty Dusty. Yep. The Ed's were here all right.
Lily: I just said that.
My dark orb detector went off.
Me: Uh oh.
Hardhead: The Heartless must be attracted to the darkness in the hearts of the Past Kids.
Me: No I don't think so. The scanner shows that there is a Dark Orb here in this factory.
Lola: And I think they are the cause!
We turned and we saw a Blizzard and a Volcanic Lord Heartless.
Elena: A Blizzard and Volcanic Lord Heartless!
Nico: I got this.
William: So do I.
William punched the Blizzard Lord and fired a massive blast of fire at it and William kicked the Volcanic Lord and fired a blast of water and steam came off it.
Nico went up to them and put his hands on their heads and he tamed them.
Me: Good job William, Nico.
Lincoln: And I found this too.
Lincoln handed me a ship in a bottle. I looked it over and saw that it was the family heirloom of the Kanker's.
Me: It's the Kanker's ship in a bottle. From what I remember this was the reason why the Kanker's destroyed the Cul-De-Sac the first time.
Laney: That is just awful.
Lucy: And now the Kanker's destroyed all of Atlanta and Peach Creek.
Me: Maybe we can give this back to Marie after we're done here.
Stewie: Hey guys. I found the Dark Orb.
Stewie found the Dark Orb and it was hidden in a box machine.
Me: Good work Stewie.
I pulled it out and crushed it and we got a massive power boost.
Syd: Wow! That was amazing! I feel stronger than ever.
Ronnie Anne: It's what happens whenever we absorb negative energy. We get stronger as a result and it makes us more powerful.
Syd: That was awesome!
Suddenly there was an earthquake and trees and leaves and vines grew out of the ground and went towards Syd. They touched her and she was spinning around in a tornado of leaves, trees, and vines.
Laney: We have a divine blessing in progress.
Lincoln: Yep. We haven't had one of those in a while.
Me: No we haven't.
When the tornado faded Syd was forever changed. She had a leaf symbol emblazoned in the middle of her forehead and she had wings made of leaves and tree branches.
Syd: Whoa! What happened?
Ronnie Anne: You were blessed by a deity. It's how most of us got our powers. Look at your back.
Syd saw the wings and she was shocked and amazed.
Syd: Wow! This is so awesome!
We found out that Syd got her powers from the plant growth of Zeme, the Goddess of Earth in Baltic Myth. Once every 1,800 years she grants a worthy soul her powers over nature and all of the Earth. But that person must experience the power boost of another first.
Syd: Ronnie Anne this is so awesome!
Ronnie Anne: It sure is Syd. But you have to remember that with great power comes a great responsibility.
Nico: That's right Syd. It's not all fun and games. You have a major league responsibility to the world and to the universe.
Laney: We got our powers to protect everyone that we love and care about.
Lana: Yep. It's a difficult job but we were chosen for a reason.
Syd: I'll be ready for anything guys. But I have a lot to learn.
Me: No sweat Syd. We're more than willing to give you a shot.
Syd: Thanks J.D.
Me: You're welcome. Lets get back to finding the Eds.
We left the factory.
We left the factory and went into the forest by a waterfall.
Me: Wow! What a beautiful waterfall.
Maria: It sure is pretty.
Me: Yeah. There's a lot of water on the ground. Result of a huge splash. These rocks and the ground are really soaked.
Lincoln: I see something shiny at the bottom of the waterfall.
Syd: Lets see what it is.
Syd used her powers and grew vines and they went into the water and they pulled out a couple of skulls, an old shopping cart, a sign that said digital a treasure chest loaded with gold coins, jewels and a sword and an old movie film.
Me: Look at all this stuff.
Lori: I don't think anyone would want to use this old shopping cart.
Lucy: I don't know who these skulls belong too. But they aren't worth giving a proper burial.
Me: Yeah. But this treasure is worth a lot. But we are at the next landmark. We're on the right track.
Nico: We sure are. And I just caught a Zangoose and a Seviper.
Me: Awesome job dude. Lucy and Jessie both have a Seviper so they might be willing to lend you some pointers. Lets get moving.
We went to the next location.
We went down a sewage pipe and we were in a huge and foreboding swamp.
Me: Wow. We're in a swamp.
Laney: This swamp looks very dangerous.
I look up the swamp on the map and on my GPS device and it showed that we were in the treacherous Okefenokee Swamp on the border between Georgia and Florida.
Me: It's the Okefenokee Swamp. We're right on top of the border between Georgia and Florida.
Lola: I would not want to live here.
Lucy: Me neither. A lot of dark legends are said to live here.
Me: I heard. But we are getting close. According to the map we're getting close to our destination.
At a dock that lead to the swamp we saw a label that said Caution on it.
Me: "Caution." We're almost there guys.
We saw a road that lead down the way.
Me: Lets head down the road guys. (Whistles)
Our Rapidash came and we set off down the street.
In Mondo A Go Go Seaside Amusement Park, the Kids of the Cul-De-Sac minus Jonny, The Eds and the Kanker Sisters were witnessing the Ed's get beat up by Eddy's older brother.
The Ed's have finally reached Eddy's Brothers house after the whole city of Atlanta was completely destroyed and just when Eddy was about to knock on the door the Kanker's showed up with the kids tied up Kevin was ready to pound Eddy when he knocks on his brother's door Eddy's Brother answered the door and was happy to see his younger brother again when Eddy told him about the situation he and his friends were in Eddy's brother decides to help him out unfortunately there was a price to pay a game of uncle.
Eddy's Brother:"Just for old times sake lets play uncle."
Eddy: "Uncle?"
Eddy's Brother: "Wanna crash at my place don't you?"
Eddy: "That's why we came all the way...
But before Eddy could finsh his sentence his brother began twisting his leg like a spring.
Eddy: "UNCLE! UNCLE! UNCLE!"
Eddy's Brother: "Say what?"
Eddy: UNCLE UNCLE!
Edd: "Oh my."
Eddy's brother releases Eddy and his leg was spinning and he was laughing at Eddy.
Eddy's Brother: "Nice job pipsqueak."
Eddy: "So can we go inside?"
Eddy's Brother: "Why not? Don't forget to wipe your feet."
So Eddy's Brother began throwing Eddy at his trailer like a bouncy ball and the kids were getting pissed. Double D tries to reason with him but ends up being hammered by Eddy's brother.
Ed and Marie: "Double D!"
Jimmy: "SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!"
(Alarm Sounds)
Rolf: Rolf has had enough with you elder one, prepare for a merciless beating.
Kevin: Hey bro guy, lay off him man!
Nazz: Yeah Mr. macho man!
Ed then takes out one of the screws of the trailer door then the door went straight at Eddy's brother and it slammed into his face knocking him out. The kids then ran to Eddy.
Edd: Eddy speak to me.
Eddy: (Crying) I made it all up Double Dee, everything about my brother was a lie, I made stuff up so people would like me, think I was cool. But boy was I wrong. The scam, my brother, this. When am I gonna learn Double Dee?"
Edd: I think you just have Eddy."
Kevin: Grab him!
(TRAIN HORN HONKS)
The kids ran at Eddy.
Ed: No take me!
Eddy: Okay! I'm sorry! Honest! I didn't mean to hurt you guys.
But the kids didn't beat Eddy up. Instead they lifted up Eddy and tossed him in the air with joy.
Rolf: Let Rolf rub the pit of victory Ed-boy.
Nazz: We're so glad your okay dude. (smooch) You're awesome.
Eddy: I am?
Kevin: I got to admit pal, that was so choice.
Eddy: It is?
Just as the kids were celebrating, a bus pulled over and Captain Melonhead came out.
Jonny: Your time of reckoning is now rapscallions. It's melon time!
He charged right at the Ed's
But then the kids held Captain Melonhead back before he could reach the Eds.
Nazz: Jonny stop it's over we've forgiven them.
Jonny: (Confused) What?!
Kevin: We're not after the Ed's anymore we just made up with them.
Jonny: Huh? what the heck's going on here?"
So the kids explained to Jonny about what happened and he was shocked about what they told him.
Jonny: Holy cow! So Eddy's brother is a child abuser!?
Nazz: That's right the reason why Eddy became the way he is was because his brother is such a jerk.
Jimmy: He made everything about his brother up because he wanted us to think he was cool.
Nazz: You should've seen what his brother did to him. It was awful! So please Jonny, let it go. Eddy has already apologized to us so we are not made at him or his friends anymore.
Eddy: It's true Jonny. I was bullied by my brother. He did teach me how to scam kids. But everything else was a lie. He used to beat me up all the time when I was young and because of that I turned into a greedy selfish jerk who only cared about himself. I truly didn't mean to hurt any of you so please Jonny, can't you let us go?"
Jonny: I didn't know. I'm sorry. And also I forgive you. Lets all be friends shall we?
Eddy: Yeah lets all be friends here.
Ed: Aww I just love happy endings Double D.
Edd" Yes Ed, this is truly a happy ending indeed.
But just when the Ed's and the kids were about to head home, the Eds were snatched by the Kanker's.
Eddy: What the?
Lee: Where do you think your going? We ain't done with you boys yet.
Ed's: Ahhhhhhhh!
They were taken inside Eddy's brother's trailer. Then Marie put the door back on and super glued it shut.
Kevin: What the!?
Jimmy: Those Kankers just kidnapped the Eds and took them inside Eddy's brother's trailer!
Ed's: HELP!
Kevin: Oh man! We got to save them!
The kids rushed to the door Kevin and Rolf try to break it down but it wouldn't budge.
Nazz: Oh you have got to be kidding me.
Jonny: The door is stuck. They must of super glued it shut.
Kevin: Those no good Kanker's! They wanted the Ed's all along! That's the only reason why they captured us.
Jimmy: Aren't those Kankers madly in love with the Ed's?
Nazz: Yeah and they want to marry them and they are torturing them right now! Look!
The kids looked in the window and saw the Kanker's forcing kisses onto the Ed's. The Ed's screamed in terror as they were being sexually harassed by the Kanker's.
Jonny: Alright this has gone on long enough! Those Kanker sisters shall taste the power of justice! Citizens we must save the Ed's! They don't deserve this kind of treatment anymore! And we know what those Kanke'rs did to us. Those bullies are going down!"
Rolf: Right Jonny the Wood Boy! We must save the Ed boys.
Kevin: Dude, I'm so down with that. Hang on guys we're coming to save you!
Nazz: First we need to somehow get inside. Then we beat the tar out of those girls.
Sarah: And how are we gonna get inside the door's locked?
Then horses were heard and we arrived.
Me: Perhaps we can help you all out.
Kevin: Who are all of you guys?
Me: We're friends. We saw the whole thing from the distance. Lets work together and take down those parasitic bitch sisters!
Everyone: YEAH!
I grabbed the door and ripped the whole thing off with my super strength. We went into the trailer and threw the Kanker's outside and we stood ready to face them.
They were introduced in "Nagged to Ed". They live in the "Park n' Flush" Trailer Park. Although they are obsessed with the Eds, they still torment, tease, and torture them, although usually in an exaggerated "lovey dovey" way. However, it didn't help that the Eds were particularly demanding of them in said first appearance though the Kankers' response still counts as Disproportionate Retribution especially as the series went on.
Many episodes conclude with the Eds encountering unwanted kisses from them or by harassing them. While all three sisters apparently love all of the Eds, May prefers Ed, Marie prefers Edd, and Lee prefers Eddy, though Eddy seems to be the most tormented of the three. For obvious reasons, the majority of the cul-de-sac seem to fear them. The Kankers' idea of a vacation is a trip with their trailer to Eddy's house. On other occasions, they have shown incredible strength and brutality, such as when they literally caused the Cul-De-Sac to break apart when searching for their lost ship-in-a-bottle (taken by a sleepwalking Ed), rendering it into a scene out of a post-apocalyptic film. However Rolf managed to be unaffected by this as he hid when he saw his farm animals sensing the coming danger.
The Kankers are essentially the equals of the Eds, who cycle through feelings of love and hate for them. Sometimes, they become manic possessive towards the Eds; other times, they will simply yearn for romance; and sometimes they simply abuse them. At first, the Kankers appeared to be kind-hearted, performing domestic services for the Eds such as cooking and washing clothes. However, when the Eds began to push their luck, the Kankers felt rejected and felt the compulsion to torment the Eds ever since.
The lives of the Kanker sisters apparently revolves around activities such as painting their toenails, stylizing their hair, and reading such literature as Hub Cap Digest. Their trailer holds a large amount of nautical-themed items, such as "Fish Bowl 2", a stuffed swordfish, an anchor, a diver's helmet, and a ship in a bottle, which is a prized possession. These sharply constrast with advertisements for car parts, a perfume of their own design called "Krankshaft No.5," and a penchant for wrestling each other.
The Kanker Sisters act as the secondary antagonists and later, anti-heroes in the film. During the film, the Kankers first appear when Jimmy and Sarah try to seek out the Eds with the hopes of watching them get beaten. The Kankers torment Jimmy and Sarah until they reveal the other Cul-De-Sac residents' intent to hunt down the Eds. Determined to save their "boyfriends", the Kankers force Jimmy and Sarah to cart them along the path earlier taken by the Eds. Sarah and Jimmy barely manage to escape the Kanker Sisters, leaving the three to relentless pursue them.
Along the way, the Kankers capture Kevin, Nazz, and Rolf in an attempt to "save" the Eds. Once they find the Eds at the trailer of Eddy's Brother, they prepare to assault the Eds once more until they're cut off by the appearance of Eddy's Brother. Like the other kids, the Kanker Sisters are horrified by Eddy's Brother's abusive treatment of Eddy, with May and Marie holding back an enraged Lee. After Eddy's Brother's defeat by Ed unhinging the screen door of the trailer, the Kankers are last seen dragging Eddy's Brother's unconscious body into the trailer with amorous intents.
Me: You stupid parasitic bitches have gone too far this time. You destroyed the entire city of Atlanta. And it was all for this!
I pulled out the bargaining chip and it was their Ship In a Bottle.
Me: You killed thousands of innocent people all for your own selfish ambitions! We've had it with you ugly parasites! It's time for you all to pay for your crimes! You want to get to the Ed's you'll have to go through us! We've had it with you shitfaced bitches! It's time to pound your faces into Oblivion! (Cracks knuckles)
Kevin: Lets pound them!
Lee: No one talks about us that way and lives to tell about it!
Me: Bring it on you parasitic freak!
We went at the Kanker's screaming at the top of our lungs and the Kanker's did the same and we collided and a massive fiery explosion erupted out of the ground.
TTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!
I punched Lee in the face and slammed my fist into her stomach and kicked her in the face and knocked out all of her teeth. Syd grew a hammer club of wood and she slammed it onto Lee and May's heads.
BLAAAAAMMM!
Elena fired a massive blast of lightning at the Kankers and electrocuted them with 500 billion volts of electricity.
Volcana fired a massive blast of fire and burned them really badly. It was a brutal fight.
Lori: I'm going to literally turn all three of you shitfaced bitches into human pretzels!
Lori fired a massive blast of wind and blew them all around in a massive tornado and then she flew up to them and tied them in super painful knots. Leni fired a blast of gravity energy at them and slammed them into the ground with the force of the gravity of the largest star in the universe.
KRABBBBLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
The Kanker's got up and Luna and Lily slammed a massive blast of water into them and it slammed them into the back of another trailer.
Syd formed a sword of leaves and she slashed Lee's hair off.
Lee: (SCREAMS) MY HAIR!
The Ed's and the Kids of Peach Creek laughed at her.
Luan: This one will buzz you to death.
Luan grabbed May's hand and electrocuted her with 200 billion volts of electricity.
Lynn mercilessly slammed huge boulders into Lee and May and she punched Marie in the face with a boulder fist. Maria fired a massive stream of water at the Kanker's and it shattered their teeth. Rolf slammed a cheese grater into Lee and scraped her feet and she screamed in excruciating pain. Casey bashed the Kanker's brains out with a baseball bat and a hockey stick.
Nico: Past Kanker Sisters, you have all failed this city!
Me: You have failed all of this country! Combo time guys!
Timon: It's time to put these stupid mooks in their place! ANIMATRON CYBER KEY POWER!
The Animatron Cyber Planet Key went into his device and it enabled him to fire exploding stinkbugs from a bazooka that appears on his back.
Hardhead: Lets pound this freaks into pulp! CYBER KEY POWER!
The Earth Cyber Planet Key was inserted into the back of his blaster and it enhanced his abilities 100-fold and enable him to fire exploding diamond shard shrapnel.
Timon and Hardhead: EXPLODING STINKBUG SHRAPNELSTORM!
Hardhead fired his shatterblasters and they fired diamond-hard shards and Timon fired stinkbugs from a bazooka on his back. The hit the Kanker's all over the place and they were bleeding from cuts and they smelled really horrible.
Snake Man: Now it's our turn! ANIMATRON CYBER KEY POWER!
The Animatron Cyber Planet Key went into his arm and it enabled him to fire snakes that explode from his blaster.
Sharkticon (Energon): Lets get them. CYBER KEY POWER!
The Animatron Cyber Planet Key went into his back and enhanced his shark bite strength as well as give him the ability to fire a massive energy blast from his chest.
Snake Man and Sharkticon: PREDATOR FIRESTORM EXPLOSION!
Snake Man fired snakes from his blaster and Energon Sharkticon fired a massive energy blast from his chest and the blasts combined and they hit the Kanker's and exploded.
KRABBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!
Timon: Time for some combo time Pumbaa!
Pumbaa: Oh boy! I've always wanted to do a combo!
They charged.
Timon and Pumbaa: BOWLING FOR BUZZARDS RAMSTORM!
They slammed into May, Marie and Lee with incredible force.
Timon: Scuse me! Pardon me! Coming through! Hot stuff!
They attacked the Kanker's with incredible ferocity!
Casey: It's final smash time guys! TURTLESMASH PULVERIZER!
Casey smashed the Kanker's faces in with a baseball bat with extreme ferocity.
Nico punched the Kanker's all over the place with his brutal strength.
Stewie pulled out an M31 machine gun.
Stewie: All right you Kanker bastards! Time to send you back to Hell! (SCREAMS AND FIRES!)
The Kanker's were being blasted all over the place with extreme viciousness.
William: Time to rip you girls apart. LIGHTNING BLASTSTORM SURPRISE!
William fired a massive blast of lightning from his blaster and it electrocuted the Kanker's with 600,000,000,000,000 volts of electricity.
When the fight stopped, the Kanker's were defeated. Police cars arrived and the Kanker's were arrested. They took the Kanker's away and we left the simulator. Everyone cheered wildly for us.
Casey: (To the viewers) You mess with our friends and cities, you mess with all of us.
Later in Lori's room we were having a special ceremony.
Me: Now I'm sure you're wondering what all this is about. Well it's for Syd here. She has just gotten her powers and she did a great job in our adventure.
I pulled out a blue shirt with the symbol of Team Loud Phoenix Storm on it.
Me: Syd Chang, you are now an honorary member of Team Loud Phoenix Storm. Welcome to the team Syd.
We cheered for her.
Syd put on the shirt.
Syd: Thank you so much J.D. I will not let you down.
Me: I know you won't.
Ronnie Anne: This is so awesome Syd!
Syd: It sure is! I can't wait to have some awesome adventures with you all!
It was an awesome day for us. We transferred Lee and May Kanker to the Venus Prison in the Maximum Security Section. I gave the Ship In A Bottle to Marie K.L. and I figured we'd give a lost heirloom back to her. Turns out the destruction of Atlanta was the true cause of the Vengeance Express.
THE END
Another Fanfiction Complete.
I made this chapter as a combination of the episode Run For Your Ed and the Big Picture Show. I figured it would add some excitement to know that the Kanker's will never terrorize the world again. The items featured in this chapter are momentos from Robbin' Ed, A Pinch to Grow an Ed, Read All About Ed, Hide & Ed and Avast Ye Eds. Syd Chang is the new girl from the 4th Season of The Loud House and I saw that episode earlier this week. And it was awesome! NicoChan gave me the ideas for this one. Thanks man as usual. Let me know what you all think.
See you all next time.
