Chapter opens to the Krusty Krab.

French Narrator: (French Accent) Ah, the Krusty Krab. Home of the delicious Krabby Patty and its super-secret recipe.

Lily was working behind the grill and Maria came in.

Maria: Hello Krusty Crew!

Lily: Hey Maria. Hey Horsea.

Horsea: Hey Lily.

Maria: Horsea, what kind of Krabby Patty would you like?

Horsea: I'll have a Monster Krabby Patty.

Maria: That's a good choice Horsea. We're all here Lily.

Lily: One Monster Krabby Patty coming up.

Real hands appeared and they had a huge pile of meat in them and they plopped the meat onto the grill.

French Narrator: 20 minutes later.

Lily came out with the patty.

Lily: Order up! One Monster Krabby Patty.

Lily brought it to the table the Crusaders of Neptune were at and she sat it on the table. Lily had a Shadow Clone behind the grill.

Varie: Wow! Lily you weren't kidding! This is the biggest item on the Krusty Krab menu.

Rolf: You sure are a magnificent burger cook cowlick water Loud Girl.

Lily: Thanks Rolf.

They got to eating.

Lily: Thanks for visiting the Krusty Krab, Maria.

Maria: You're welcome Lily. It's always fun to come here.

Horsea: Did you guys know that I insulted Icky Vicky as well?

Gali: What did you say to her Horsea?

Horsea: Oh it was awesome.

FLASHBACK

In the Moon Prison, Maria had finished her rant to Icky Vicky. Horsea then squirted acid ink into Icky Vicky's eyes and she screamed in excruciating pain.

Horsea: YOU ARE THE WORST EVER HUMAN THAT EVER LIVED VICKY! YOU ARE THE MOST DISGUSTING SHIT-FACED FREAK OF NATURE THAT HAS EVER WALKED THE FACE OF THE EARTH! GO KILL YOURSELF!

Maria: Whoo! You tell her Horsea.

FLASHBACK ENDS

They cheered for Horsea.

Invisible Woman: That was well done Horsea.

Seaspray: You said it Susan. Good show.

Gali: Very impressive.

Lily: I'll say.

Lana: Me too Lily. That was awesome!

Rolf: Rolf agrees.

SpongeBob: Attention, Krusty Krab crew! All hands report immediately!

Lily: [runs up] Fry cook Lily Loud reporting, sir!

Pearl: [Hops out from the boat.] Cashier Pearl Krabs reporting, sir!

Sandy: Bus girl Sandy Cheeks reporting!

Squidward got up from his nap.

Squidward: (Yawns) What's everyone yelling about?

SpongeBob: Today is the 25th anniversary of the first time Mr. Krabs's arch-enemy and our former nemesis Plankton ever tried to steal the secret Krabby Patty formula. [scene flashes back to Mr. Krabs and Plankton]

Plankton: Can I have the secret formula?

Mr. Krabs: No.

Plankton: Okay. [walks away]

SpongeBob: [voiceover] But Plankton was persistent!

Plankton: [comes back] Pretty please?

Mr. Krabs: Uh-uh. [scene cuts to Plankton holding a costume behind his back]

SpongeBob: He used disguises! [Plankton laughs and pulls a cockroach costume over himself; Mr. Krabs squishes him] Super science! [Plankton drips a droplet of chemical into a test tube and drinks it; he is surrounded in a pink cloud and appears as a cockroach; Mr. Krabs steps on him again] Civil disobedience! [Plankton is marching, holding a picket sign that states "I am not a roach"; Mr. Krabs squashes him once more; scene cuts back to the Krusty Krab with, Lily, Sandy, Pearl, Squidward, and SpongeBob] And Mr. Krabs always came out on top! Now that Mr. Krabs is in prison and Plankton has been banished into the endless void of space, and now we have a naked nude Krabs in Plankton's place and we have to make sure that he doesn't get the Krabby Patty Secret Formula.

Lily: I never knew that Plankton was that crafty. But you can count on us Mr. SquarePants!

Squidward: [sarcastically] Fascinating.

SpongeBob: But thousands of failures have made him crafty, so keep your eyes open! [SpongeBob eyes bulge out, and he moves them right to left] You'll never know what trick he'll use to steal the secret Krabby Patty formula.

Lily: Aye aye sir!

Pearl: You can count on us Mr. SquarePants.

Robot: [walks into the Krusty Krab, speaks in robotic voice] What a quaint restaurant. I think I will sample their wares.

Lily: It's a robot.

SpongeBob: I got this one. Excuse me Pearl. [moves Pearl out of the way] I'll take this one. [to the robot] Welcome to the Krusty Krab, sir. May I help you?

Robot: Yes please. I'd like an order of chili coral bits.

SpongeBob: [loses fake grin he had] You sure you don't want a Krabby Patty?

Robot: No, thank you. [pulls out a huge bar of gold] Will this cover it?

SpongeBob: Wow! That's a lot of gold! [grabs the gold and hands the robot a paper bag] Here you go.

Robot: [takes the bag and walks toward the door; using green laser beams, it melts the doorway and walks through] Good day.

Lily had strong suspicions about the giant bar of gold that was given to

SpongeBob: Hm. I was sure it was one of Krabs's tricks.

Lily then sensed something inside the gold bar.

Lily: Oh no!

Lily jumped over to the bar and opened a hatch on it and inside was Krabs.

Lily: I knew this was too good to be true!

SpongeBob: I knew it was a trick!

Krabs: Alright, Squarepants. Hand over the Krabby Patty formula!

Spongebob: Or what?

Krabs (shrugs): Or I'll destroy the Krusty Krab. Is that a valid threat? Because I didn't think that far ahead.

SpongeBob: Well, then, allow me to suggest your next move. [scene cuts to a slingshot; Krabs screams in terror as he is flung towards the Crab Net!]

Krabs: CURSE YOU SQUAREPANTS!

CRASH!

Krabs hit the wall of the Crab Net.

Krabs: Ouch.

Gali: Boy that stupid Krabs just will never learn.

Luna: No he won't dudes.

SpongeBob: [laughs]

Lily: Serves that skinflint right! But just in case.

Lily had Maria spy on Krabs.

Spongebob: Why am I getting a strange sense of deja vu?


At the Crab Net, Krabs was getting up from the launch.

Krabs: You just wait, Squarepants! Next time I'll... ah, who am I kidding? At least I can go home to me wife who understands. [scene cuts to inside the Crab Net]

Fiona: So? Tell me what happened.

Krabs: I don't want to talk about it.

Fiona: Talking will make you feel better.

Krabs: Leave me alone.

Fiona: That's your problem. You never let anyone in. Krabs the rock, Krabs the loner...

Krabs: And she's off, ladies and gentlemen.

Krabs: ...and that's why everything you try ends up like this... [Fiona's screen shows Krabs laughing, about to pull a lever; Lily punches him in the face and sends him flying] and like this... [Fiona's screen shows Krabs with a bunch of pillows wrapped around him laughing; Lily punches him again but with a spiked metal fist-glove and sends him flying] and more recently, like this. [Fiona's screen shows a slingshot with a flinging noise.]

Krabs: [whimpering, starts bawling] I'm a failure!

Fiona: It's not that bad! You just require a little help. Maybe some henchmen...

Krabs: Henchmen?

Fiona: Yes, what you need to do is surround yourself with muscular tough guys who will do whatever you say.

Krabs: I like the sound of that. I'll canvas all the seediest lowbrow dives in town to find me minions. And I know just how to speak their language! [scene cuts to a dim club with muscular tough guys playing pool; Krabs stands at the door] Felicitations, malefactors! I am endeavoring to misappropriate the formulary for the preparation of affordable comestibles! Who will join me!?

[Scene cuts to Krabs sitting in a wheelchair in the Crab Net with a cast and bandages]

Krabs: I don't get it. No matter what I do, I always end up being smashed by someone bigger and stronger than me.

Fiona: Oh, come on. I think you're overreacting. [as Fiona talks, a robotic hand comes out of a panel and pats Krabs, then crushes him] Sorry.

KRabs: That's okay. I'm no different than the millions of other Krabs in the sea. [while Krabs talks, he "assembles" himself together, sticking his eyes on, putting his claws in the sockets, and matching his legs which are labeled "left leg" and "right leg" in their appropriate sockets] The Krabs family has been a money-obsessed family for many generations and now because of Lily we have now because the most hated family in the history of the world. And we're now always being pushed around and crushed. Wait! That's it! Acting alone, we're powerless, but united, the Krabs family could be a real pain in the hindquarters! [he appears with a phone book and slams it on the table] SquarePants and Loud may think one Krabs is no problem, but let's see them take on two, or ten, or a hundred, or a thousand, or a million! [scene cuts to Krabs dialing a number; cuts to Krabs on the phone; cuts to Krabs writing letters to numerous family members; cuts to Krabs licking the adhesive on a bunch of envelopes; cuts to Krabs in a red airplane, skywriting "CALLING ALL KRABS"; cuts to a montage of differently dressed Krabs] But why stop there? I'll gather every family member from every corner of the ocean. The entire Krabs family under one roof! SpongeBob won't stand a chance against the staggering intellect of a million cheapskate criminal masterminds! [doorbell rings] They're here! Welcome, mateys! [Krabs runs to the door and opens it with a big grin, which quickly fades into a look of disgust and disbelief; he sees a huge group of hick, redneck crab family members playing music; one of them begins to speak]

Clem: [hick drawl] Hey, look, everybody! It's cousin Krabs!

All: Yee-haw!

Krabs (sees all his family members): I've been gone from home longer than I thought. [Clem runs up and shakes Krabs's Claw]

Clem: [hick drawl] Well, howdy, cousin! [Krabs stares at his claw, which is dripping after his cousin shook it]

Krabs: Uh...

Clem: It's me, Clem. O' course, you remember Zeke, Rufus, Jeke, Billy Billy Bo-Illy Bonana Fanna Fo-Filly, Doug, Enos... [Clem continues introducing the rest of the family; Krabs is crawling on the ground]... Fletcher McGee, Rainchild, Zeke Junior...

Krabs: Alright! I get it! I mean, uh, come inside. Make yourself at home. [scene cuts to the family inside the Crab Net, standing in front of Karen] I'd like you to meet me computer wife, Fiona.

Clem: [whistles from the back of the group] Golly, she sure is purdy, Eugene.

Fiona: Eugene?!

Krabs: [annoyed] Yes, that's me first name. [Fiona cracks up; Krabs keeps an angry face]

Fiona: Eugene? [laughing]

Krabs: [still has an annoyed face] Will you please-!

Eugene: [still laughing] Sorry!

Krabs: All right, as I was saying... [Karen starts laughing] Okay, we all know Eugene's a funny name.

Fiona: [laughing] Okay, okay. I'm done. No more.

Eugene: Good. Ahem, to continue. [turns away from Fiona; he doesn't see the screen that she brings down behind him; the word "EUGENE" appears on the screen] Only you can bring honor... [the family laughs; Krabs turns around to look at the screen; it is blank] ...and dignity... [the word "EUGENE" with a finger pointing at Krabs appears; the group laughs, and Krabs turns to look at the screen, which is now blank] ...back to the Krabs name. [as soon as Krabs speaks, another "EUGENE" sign appears with an arrow pointing at Krabs; he turns around to look at the screen and is trembling with fury; as he starts to speak, another "EUGENE" sign appears] For years, it has been me goal to acquire the secret formula for... [Krabs turns around and points at the sign] Aha! [he runs to the outlet and unplugs it] Okay, that's enough! [Fiona says "Eugene! Ha Ha!" before losing power; Plankton runs in front of Fiona's screen] Bottom line: we invade the Krusty Krab so I can steal the secret formula. What do you think?

Family Member 1: But what's in it for us? [the family roars in agreement]

Krabs: Well, what do ye want?

Family Member 2: Gawrsh. Can I get a new string for my banjo? [holds up a banjo with one string]

Family Member 3: And another boot to match this'n? [holds up foot with a boot on it]

Family Member 4: [holds up laptop] And some more memory for my laptop!

Clem: And what about root beer?

All: Root beer?!

Krabs: Help me get the secret formula and you can have as much root beer as you can drink! [the group cheers] Victory, thy name is Krabs! [Krabs turns to face the cheering crowd; on his back is a note taped on with the word "Eugene."]

Maria heard the plan outside and she was shocked.

Maria: This is bad! We got to warn everyone.

Maria went to the Krusty Krab and warned everyone.

Varie: So Krabs has amassed an army with his entire family and brethren?

Maria: I'm not kidding Varie. He's going to take down the entire Krusty Krab with over 1 million family members.

Lily: This is really bad. We are about to go into war. Krabs amassing an army like this to take us down is equal to that of a declaration of war.

SpongeBob: We have to be ready.

Maria: I have an idea. It's gonna be risky but we need to find out their weakness.

SpongeBob: Their weakness is money.

Maria: No I'm talking about their weakness biologically.

Lily: Oh I get it.

Maria: I'm gonna go ask Mr. Krabs about this.

Everyone gasped.

Lily: Maria that's crazy!

Maria: It's our only chance Lily. But you have to trust me on this. We have no other alternative.

Lily: Okay Maria. Do what you got to do.

Maria: Thank you.

Maria went to the Ross Ice Shelf Prison.


Maria was talking to Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: So there's a naked version of me thats filled in Plankton's role?

Maria: That's right Mr. Krabs. He runs around in the nude and he's after the Krabby Patty Secret Formula.

Mr. Krabs: Boy and I thought Plankton was such a headache. But this nude version of me sounds even more dangerous.

Maria: He is Mr. Krabs. But Lily has beaten him as much as you have beaten Plankton.

Mr. Krabs: I'm proud of that Lass.

Maria: I am too. But the real problem is this. The naked Krabs has amassed a huge army of his and your kind to destroy the Krusty Krab to steal the Krabby Patty Secret Formula.

Mr. Krabs: (Gasps) That is exactly what Plankton did with his kind!

Maria: Plankton tried this kind of plan before?

Mr. Krabs: Aye lass. But in the end I horrified that malignerant microbe with a fake secret formula recipe where the Krabby Patties are made of Plankton.

Maria: That is genius Mr. Krabs. That just might work with the naked Krabs. Alright, Mr. Krabs. I'm gonna make you a deal. I'll convince Lily and J.D. to knock years off your sentence if you tell me the weaknesses of crabs.

Mr. Krabs: You got a deal lass.

The deal was made.


Back at the Krusty Krab they got ready.

Lily: Mr. Krabs, I'm sorry I got you sent to prison.

Mr. Krabs: No you had every right to do so lass. Being in prison for all that time has made me realize what a selfish skinflint I was. I never had any love for anyone except meself and money. Plus I can't believe that I did all those crimes to Squidward, SpongeBob and everyone I know.

Lily: It's good that you've had a change. I can never be one to carry a grudge.

Then Krabs's voice was heard.

Krabs: [over megaphone] Attention Krusty Krab management! This is your better speaking.

Mr. Krabs: What?!

Lily: Here he is. [Krabs is standing outside the Krusty Krab with a megaphone]

Krabs: [over megaphone] I have the restaurant surrounded. Give me the secret formula or I'll destroy the Krusty Krab! [Mr. Krabs and Squidward run outside to Plankton]

Mr. Krabs: Ah, you and what army ya pig!?

Krabs: (Shocked) What!? I thought you were in prison!

Mr. Krabs: I was released on parole.

Krabs: Well it doesn't matter! Here comes my army. [scene pans out to show the Krusty Krab surrounded by something covered in the sand. The millions of members of the Krabs family popped out and they looked at them with blazing fury.]

Mr. Krabs: Uh-oh.

Lily: ATTACK!

They went at the Krabs army and it was an extremely violent and brutal massacre. Lily punched a bunch of crabs in their faces and fired glowing red scalding hot water at them and burned them. Maria fired hot water and burned them and she ripped some of their claws off. Gali slashed them and kicked them. Luna played a chord and blew them away with water. Lana froze them in ice and turned them into ice pops.

Rolf: Mestick! (hits Krabs with shepherd's hook) (BLAM!) Shlorvin! (hits Krabs again) (POW!) I SAID! (hits Krabs again) (KRAKROW!) NEVER AGAIN WILL YOU TORMENT THE KRUSTY KRAB!

Varie summoned a huge giant squid and it grabbed some of the crabs in its tentacles and threw them miles away from the scene.

Maria: To quote my friend Nico "You stupid crabs have failed this ocean!"

Varie fired numerous blasts of scalding hot water and burned many crabs. Seaspray activated his hovercraft jet engines and blew some of them away.

Varie: Lets use our combos!

Seaspray: You got it Varie. CYBER KEY POWER!

The Earth Cyber Planet Key went into his back between the engines and 4 more blasters popped out.

Octopunch: Time for action! CYBER KEY POWER!

The Animatron Cyber Planet Key went into his back and it supercharged his harpoon launcher and 4 more harpoon launchers popped out.

Seaspray and Octopunch: NAUTICAL LIGHTNING MAELSTROM!

Seaspray fired powerful blasts of wind from his engines and he fired his lasers and Octopunch fired his energized harpoons. They turned into a massive tornado and they made mincemeat out of the crabs.

Highbrow: Now it's our turn! CYBER KEY POWER!

The Autobot Cyber Planet Key went into a port on top of him in his chopper mode and he had 6 more blasters pop out of his corrosive acid rifle.

Invisible Woman: Time for some action. EARTH CYBER KEY POWER!

The Earth Cyber Planet Key went into her device on her device on her arm and it not only enhanced her invisible powers but it also gave her the ability to fire powerful beams of light on the electromagnetic wavelength.

Highbrow and Invisible Woman: MICROWAVE GREASEFIRE FRYER!

Invisible Woman fired a massive blast of microwave energy and Highbrow fired krabby patty grease and the microwave energy ignited the grease and turned it into a powerful napalmic flamethrower blast that fried some of the crabs.

Varie: Final smash time guys!

Rolf: You got it Varie! SCANDINAVIAN OPERA SHOT!

Rolf sang opera in gibberish and it released a powerful sonic blast that was loud enough to shatter crab shells like glass.

Lily: Oh that is too funny! But good job Rolf!

Rolf: Thank you Cowlick Water Loud Girl.

Sandy: (Southern Accent) Time to finish these sidewinders! CHEMICAL PATTYBOMB BARRAGE!

Sandy threw a bunch of krabby patties made of highly unstable explosive chemicals and they hit the crabs and exploded.

KRABBOOOOMMMM! KRABBBBOOOOOOOOOMMM!

The army of Krabs was defeated.

Maria: You do not want to steal the Krabby Patty Secret Formula anyway.

Krabs: And why is that?

Maria: Because this is what's in the Krabby Patty.

Maria showed a page in a book and it revealed that the Krabby Patties are made from CRABS!?

Krabs (horrified): WHAT?! KRABBY PATTIES ARE MADE OUT OF CRAB?!

Maria: Yep.

Krabs: [screams in horror while running all the way back home to the Crab Net]

[Back outside the Krusty Krab, the Krabs family reads the recipe and gasps; they all run screaming while everyone laughs, except for Clem who just stands there staring at the book]

Maria: How come you aren't running?

Clem: I can't read.

Maria: Get out of here!

Clem ran. The Krabs family was going to be running for a long time.

Lily: And don't come back you fried chickens!

Maria: That was awesome!

Squidward saw the recipe.

Squidward: Maria is this really the recipe for a Krabby Patty?

Maria: Nope. This was all part of our counter plan to drive those rotten crabs away.

SpongeBob: It sure worked Maria.

Lily: It sure did.

Sandy: (To the viewers) Never underestimate the ingenious methods of Team Loud Phoenix Storm!

Lily: No way.

After Lily got home, she and Maria told me everything and Mr. Krabs was hired back at the Krusty Krab as a bus boy and he was now placed on highly supervised probation. Lily brought a Cradily and an Anorith for Nico. It was gonna be two weeks before the Krabs family realize that they were duped.

THE END


Another Fanfiction Complete.

This chapter is based on the episode of SpongeBob called Plankton's Army. That episode was very funny and strategically planned. It was so funny how Plankton went running to the Chum Bucket in horror. I based Rolf's Final Smash off of how he was singing opera in the episode Hand Me Down Ed's. That episode was so funny! NicoChan11 gave me the ideas for this one. Thanks man as usual. Let me know what you all think.

See you all next time.