(The Aftermath theme plays as the letters T, D, and G fly onscreen followed by the word "Aftermath". The letter D flies towards the camera and cuts to a scene with Beardo from Episode 1 of Pahkitew Island.)
Beardo: (Emergency Siren sound. Hides behind a rock as the moose pass.)
(Every time it cuts to someone else, the D will pop in and out of the title)
(Cuts to a scene with Leonard from Episode 2)
Leonard: "Pigas Levitatas this Intas!" (Nothing happens) "Piggy piggy float over the wall, win this challenge for us and, um, all!"
(Cuts to a scene with Amy and Sammy from Episode 5)
Amy: How dare you treat your own sister this way!?
Sammy: Look who's talking; you do this to me all the time!
Amy: That's because you're nothing. I'm better than you at everything.
Sammy: Well at least I still don't suck my thumb!
Both: You are the worst sister ever!
(Cuts to a scene with Rodney from Episode 4)
Rodney: (Ashamed) Because of me, my team lost. And now I'm going home for this. Jasmine, Amy, and Scarlett will never forgive me for this.
(Cuts to a scene with Ella singing from Episode 5)
Ella: "Me and my friend, bear,
BFFs beyond compare.
Dancing and swimming without a care."
(Cuts to a scene with Topher from Episode 8)
Topher: (Delighted) Alright, (places his baby onto of his head) it's time to show the people at home what I've got. (He looks back into the camera) Hello out there world, get a look at all this. (He does a number of poses) Pose, pose, pose, pose.
(Cuts to a scene with Dave from Episode 7)
Dave: I am so close to making it official between me and Sky. The only thing that's missing is our first kiss. Once she kisses me everything will be perfect.
(Cuts to a scene with Scarlett and Evil Scarlett from Episode 10)
Evil Scarlett: That's it! Time to finish you once and for all!
Scarlett: BRING IT!
(Cuts to a scene with Jasmine from Episode 10)
Jasmine: There comes a time in a girl's life when she must face facts, (happy) whether Shawn gets over this zombie obsession of his or not, he's PERFECT!
(Cuts to a scene with Sugar from Episode 2)
Sugar: NOBODY BUT ME IS WINNIN THIS HERE PAGEANT!
(Transitions to her talent from episode 12)
Sugar: "Sugar Silo!
I'm wicked sweet,
I tap it when I rap it with a tasty beat!
I don't like milk from a Jersey cow!
I'm the queen of Craptry,
you all should bow!
Sugar Hollaaa!"
(Billy, Zoey, and Scuba Bear 2.0 cringe)
(Cuts to a scene with Shawn and Sky from Episode 12)
Sky: (Excited) We did it! We're in the finals. Sugar is going home.
Shawn: Yeah; even Billy wouldn't love that performance. It really was a load of crap.
It showed in many episodes that we were dominating the competition in T.D.G episodes and seasons 7 and 8.
(They both high five)
(Opening Credits; stock footage from the season is playing throughout)
"Dear Mom and Dad I'm doing fine,
You guys are on my mind.
You asked me what I wanted to be
and now I think the answer is plain to see,
I wanna be famous!"
"I wanna live close to the sun,
Go pack your bags cause I've already won.
Everything to prove nothing in my way
I'll get there one day,
Cause I wanna be famous!"
(Cuts to a limo pulling up outside the Aftermath studio. All 14 contestants run inside to get ready for the show.)
"Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na!"
(Cuts to everyone getting ready for the show. Dave cleans himself with a lint roller. Topher does a number of poses in the mirror. Scarlett pushes a crate backstage on a trolley. Ella sings while Sammy looks through a clothes rack. Sugar can't primp her hair due to being covered in bandages. Leonard waves his wand around while Beardo sings along to the theme. Rodney peaks outside to see if there are any girls out there that he might like. Sky, Shawn, and Jasmine stretch their arms and legs before heading out. And Max works on another evil invention but it blows up in Amy's face.)
"I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!"
(Cuts to everyone running onto the stage and taking their places in the bleachers next to the Revenge of the Island Cast. Bridgette and Trent are given the Ready to Go sign.)
"I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!"
(The camera pans out showing off every contestant, except Ezekiel, with the title flashing behind Bridgette and Trent.)
("Whistling in Tune")
(The Aftermath theme plays as the letters T, D, and G fly onscreen followed by the word "Aftermath". The letter D flies towards the camera and cuts to everyone on stage as the audience applaud. Bridgette and Trent are sitting on the host couch, the original cast, except Ezekiel, Harold, and Geoff, is sitting in the bleaches to the right side of the screen, and the Revenge of the Island cast is sitting in the bleachers to the left side of the screen.)
Bridgette: Welcome to our Total Drama Galaxy Aftermath Special! I'm your host; Bridgette!
Trent: And I'm Trent; your co-host for today. Geoff will be calling in to join us later on.
Bridgette: We are so excited to have all of our new friends here for this special occasion.
Trent: Not only that, but this is also the very last episode slash special of Total Drama, EVER! That's right, after today; there will be no more Total Drama.
(The audience cheers)
Bridgette: Sounds like everyone is happy to hear that. No more pain and humiliation for anyone on this show. Before we bring out our new friends, let's reintroduce you to our old friends; (cuts to the original cast from bottom to top) Gwen, Courtney, LeShawna, Sierra, Duncan, Katie, Sadie, Justin, Beth, Tyler, Lindsay, Izzy, Owen, Eva, Noah, Cody, Alejandro, Heather, and D.J.
Trent: Harold is backstage with Scarlett and we'll talk to them in just a minute. And here are our Revenge of the Island friends; (cuts to the Revenge of the Island cast from bottom to top) Mike, Zoey, Staci (with all of her hair back), Cameron, Anne Maria, Brick, Dawn, B, Sam, Dakota (still a mutated monster), Lightning, Jo, and Scott.
Bridgette: And here from our current season is our very own heroes that we all know and love. Give it up for Team Loud Phoenix Storm!
We all came out and everyone cheered wildly.
Me: Thank you! Thank you all!
Nico: It's a pleasure to be here!
Vince: Hello everyone!
Carol: Hello everyone.
We waved as we all came out.
Bridgette: So how's it going for everyone here?
Beth: Great! I'm so glad that this is the last show.
Me: Me too Beth. This is gonna be awesome!
Lindsay: Oh I'm so glad too! I never have to go through anymore hard challenges to get what I want.
Nico: None of us will ever again.
Carol: Yeah.
Gwen: (Annoyed) You two were lucky because I had to be dragged in for another season just to be tortured for no reason.
Brick: I agree! I'm actually glad that I didn't return for the All Star season. One season is good enough for all of us.
Lincoln: I agree with you there Brick.
LeShawna: Yeah, me and everyone else should have high tailed it after the season one finale.
Laney: I know.
Scott: Not to mention that we all had to endure such humiliation. For example; I got mauled by a shark.
Me: You've had it coming for a while you shark-faced son of a bitch.
Lana: Yeah!
Me: That is something I can accept.
Lola: Same with me.
Alejandro: I got burned by a volcano and lived in a robotic suit for two years.
Vince: I remember that. You deserved it.
D.J.: Wait, didn't you say you were in there for ONE year?
Alejandro: (Annoyed) I was confused about the time line.
Nico: Oh.
Gwen: Actually I think it was the writers fault for saying that. Seasons 3 and 5 were divided by a two year time frame.
Me: Hmm. That could be the case.
Courtney: Three years if you count Revenge Of The Island being held back for another year due to a tsunami in Japan.
Owen: (Holding his head in pain) OK, now I'M confused!
Varie: Oh yeah. I remember the Japan Tsunami of 2011. That was terrible.
Me: Boy it sure was.
Heather: (Annoyed) Alright enough with the fourth wall breaking. Besides, I too was humiliated when I lost all my hair.
Lily: You had that coming you bitch.
Me: You looked really good bald.
Staci: Same here! Did you know my great, great, great, great, Granduncle invented the first hair care product?
Jo: (Throwing a boxing glove at her) Not another word! No one wants to hear any more of your lies.
Me: Yes he did. And just for the record folks, everything that Staci said is all true. She comes from a long line of famous Canadian inventors.
Jo: Really? Wow.
Me: Yep. She's really famous.
Scott: Yeah; famous for telling lies! (He laughs. Staci just glares.)
Aylene C.: Shut your fucking trap Scott!
Scott: Make me. Also if your family is famous, why are you even here in the first place?
Nico: That's what I wanted to know.
Staci: My parents wanted me out of the house because they were tired of my lies. They were tired of seeing me making our family famous when in fact we are just as common as the average ancestry. (She looks down in shame) I'll just shut up for the rest of the show.
Me: No Staci, you have an amazing family history. And if anybody tells you otherwise they can go fuck themselves.
Staci: Thanks J.D.
Gwen: Anyways, back to what we were discussing. Me and Courtney could never catch a break with Billy trying to make us look like one of the worst contestants of all time.
Courtney: He eliminated us with a giant toilet. (She holds her arms and shivers. Gwen comforts her.)
Me: I remember that. (Growls) If Billy is watching this. Oh that reminds me. Bridgette if I may?
Bridgette: Sure.
Me: We have some special guests with us. Joining us today are the Masters of Evil, our Frenemies in a sense.
Vypra: Pleasure to be here.
Zs'Skayr: Hello.
Dark Spicer: Good to be here.
Waffle Woman: Hello everyone.
Number 7: Greetings to you all.
Vanitas: Hello.
Professor Calamitous: Hello cretins.
Lord Drakkon: Hello.
Nico: Ok. Can we trust all of you not to try and Kill the Masters of Evil while they're here with us?
Me: We won't. They agreed.
Nico: So, Vypra. Why did you resurrect some of our bad guys from Springfield and not more powerful villains.
Vypra: Hey, I'm still trying to think of archenemies for Lincoln and the other Loud Sisters. Your Springfield enemies were basically the perfect rivals for your other friends while my secret project is underway.
Me: That does make sense. Lets continue. Sorry about that.
Bridgette: No worries.
Cody: He tried to get me eaten by a bear this season.
Celica: Oh my!
Brick: He tried to kill us in a toxic mine just to cover his sorry butt from the feds.
Laney: I remember that.
Duncan: He called the cops on me and sent me to jail. (Shivers) I never thought that being in jail could make a delinquent like me feel so miserable. I rather be back in Juvie instead of that horrible place.
Me: I remember seeing that Duncan. You blew up his whole mansion. But in all accounts he had that coming. Fucking asshole.
Cameron: Wow, that must have been hard on you.
Duncan: Yeah, it's that bad!
Nico: Geez.
Sierra: Well Billy got rid of us whenever we accidentally destroyed one of his most prized possessions.
Laney: Vain asshole.
Gwen: (Annoyed) Didn't I say about fifteen minutes ago not to remind me?
Sierra: Sorry Gwen.
Dakota: But the worst one of all was when he turned me into a monster.
Sam: Aw you're no monster Dakota! You're beautiful!
Dakota: (Giggles and blushes) Thanks Sam, though I do miss being my old self.
Bridgette: We do too! But we have to disagree with you on what happened to you being the worst thing ever. If anything, what Brick said about Billy trying to kill us is the worst.
Me: I agree.
Lana: What a fucking asshole.
Rita: Lana, watch your language.
Lana: Sorry mom but it's true.
Trent: Really? I always thought that him messing around and ruining our friendships and relationships were the worst.
Vince: How can I forget that.
Courtney: (Outraged) Oh that is SO the worst thing that Billy has ever done. He tried to ruin everything for me and Gwen in World Tour and All Stars. Yes, I did mess up again in the final 5, but I did try to fix everything.
Me: Yeah what a fucking lunatic. It's like he has no respect for everything at all.
Trent: Yeah, how did you managed to fix things up with Gwen?
Courtney: It all happened after I was eliminated.
(Cuts to a flashback of her crying after the sharks vomited on her)
Courtney: (Voice over) After I got puked on by some sharks due to my disgusting sundae, I swam onto a nearby beach. It suddenly began to rain heavily and I needed a place to hide where no one could see me. As I was running towards a nearby equipment shed, the rain water washed away all the barf on me. As soon as I got there, I threw away the bone that was in my hair, fell to the ground, and continued to ball my eyes out until I fell asleep; but I didn't sleep well due to a nightmare about all the bad things that I have done over the past few years.
(Cuts back to the stage)
Mike: Ooh, that is sad! Did Gwen find you there?
Gwen: (Annoyed) Actually me and Scott almost died when we went over Niagara Falls.
We gasped.
(Cuts back to Courtney's Flashback)
Courtney: (Voice over) The next thing I knew when I opened my eyes, I was in this huge balloon being filled with Owen's butt gas.
Owen: (Voice over) Sorry!
Courtney: (Voice over) I was so desperate to get out, but I didn't until me and the others were at about 30,000 feet and that's when the balloons finally popped. I just kept falling until I hit the water. But when I swam to the surface, there was no one there to help me. It was there that I decided that no one wanted me anymore. So I went home that stormy night, and I saw a carving knife on the counter, and I thought whether I should end my life there or not.
(Flashback Ends. Everyone gasps.)
We all gasped.
Cameron: (Shocked) You were going to commit suicide!?
Me: Courtney that's insane!
Nico: Yeah!
Gwen: (Terrified) And she almost done so if it wasn't for me. (Pulls out her phone) When I got home I got this text from Courtney saying "I'm sorry for everything that I have done. You don't have to care about me anymore because by the time you read this text, I will be gone forever". I was so scared when I saw this that I ran to her house. But when I got there, she wasn't there and the knife was still there untouched. It finally hit me that she didn't want anyone to find her body so she ran away to the only cliff by the shore and tried to jump. Luckily I got there and stopped her before she did.
Courtney: When I looked at her when she stopped me, she looked like she was about to ball her eyes out. Then I was about to until we both hugged and cried our eyes out. We had finally forgiven each other that night and vowed to not only to look after each other forever, but to also never return to Total Drama again, EVER!
LeShawna: (Amazed) Wow, that was the saddest and scariest story I have ever heard.
Me: That is really dark.
Nico: No kidding.
Vypra: Oh man. Poor girl.
Zoey: (Wiping away a tear) I wish I could have been there to take care of you as well. Just like Gwen, I consider you as a sister too.
Me: Aww.
Lori: That is literally amazing.
Courtney: (Touched) Thanks Zoey, and I'm sorry I tried to get you eliminated so many times.
Zoey: (Surprised) What?
Me: Huh?
Courtney: You are so much better at sports than I am. I thought I wouldn't stand a chance of winning if you were still around.
Zoey: (Walking over to comfort her) It's OK! I forgive you. I would have gone to the finale with you and we could have split the million with our friends. Maybe we could start over and just be non-competitive friends.
Courtney: I like that very much. Sky could also be part of our circle of athletic friends.
Lynn: Zoey does have that athletic streak in her like me and my boy self. It's amazing.
Bridgette: And speaking of Sky, here comes our new friends; (all the new contestants, except Scarlett, walk onto the stage) Sky, Dave, Shawn, Leonard, Jasmine, Sammy, Topher (with his left arm in a cast), Beardo, Max (with his left leg in a cast while using a crutch), Rodney, Sugar (all bandaged up), Amy (helping Sugar walk on stage while wearing a blue cheerleader outfit), and Ella.
Me: Hey guys!
Sky: Hey J.D.
Leonard: Hey J.D.
(Ella begins to sing)
Ella: "This is how we will end the show,
And now it is time for us to go.
So now what am I going to do,
Is say goodbye to all of you!"
(Everyone claps and cheers for her singing)
Me: Bravo Ella!
Varie: Encore
Nico: Good show!
Lola: So beautiful!
Vypra: She has a beautiful voice.
Dark Spicer: She sure does.
Lindsay: Bravo, encore!
Ella: Thanks Lindsay! Thanks everyone.
(Everyone takes their seat next to the Revenge of the Island cast)
Sky: (To Courtney) Hey Courtney, I heard your story backstage and I feel very sorry for you too. To make you feel better, I will accept your friend request.
Courtney: Aww, thanks Sky!
Me: We all will be your friends Courtney. Always will be.
Trent: Welcome everyone to our Total Drama Galaxy Aftermath Special! We are all happy to have you here today.
Shawn: Thanks Trent! I'm so glad that we no longer have to deal with Billy anymore.
Me: Oh Shawn, your Zombie Apocalypse survival skills really paid off for Lincoln, Clyde, Laney and Lily.
Laney: That's right Shawn. It all came in handy for when that storm came.
Shawn: That's what I heard. I'm proud of you guys.
Lincoln: Thanks Shawn.
(Cuts to Billy relaxing on a beach outside the Ridgemount Resort)
Billy: (Sighs) Now this is the life; being far away from the kids with a new tooth, a glass of lemonade in one hand, and the warm sun shining on my face. (Pauses for a second) Okay I'm bored! Time to head back and prepare for another season filled with torture. (He walks by the hotel and sees the Total Drama Galaxy Aftermath being played on the big screen. He is shocked.) WHAT!?
Dave: I am also happy that this is the very last show ever. That brainless host has ruined our lives long enough. (Pumps his fist into the air) Here's to the end of Total Drama.
Me: TO THE END OF TOTAL DRAMA!
Everyone: To the end of Total Drama!
Masters of Evil: Here here!
Billy: (Shocked) Total Drama is ending? Oh no, not on my watch. (He takes out his phone and calls Chef) Chef, you've got to come down here and get me.
Chef: Sorry, but I'm busy at the moment. Call back later. (He hangs up)
Billy: (Annoyed) Fine, I'll get there myself. Taxi!
(Cuts back to the stage)
Bridgette: How is everyone doing?
Topher: We're doing OK. Max, Sugar, and I just got out of the hospital after our encounter with Scuba Bear. Max and I only suffered a broken limb but as for Sugar, that's a different story.
Me: Good thing you're okay man.
Sugar: (Muffles) I'll make it too.
Trent: Sorry, we couldn't hear you because you've got something across your mouth.
Me: She said that she'll make it too.
Duncan: Good.
Rodney: Also Amy, why are you wearing a blue outfit instead of your red one?
Amy: (Annoyed) Because I don't want to dress up like my ex-twin.
Sammy: That's right, it's official; I belong to Jasmine now.
Me: Hey way to go Sammy!
Jasmine: (Australian Accent) And I'm happy to be your new sister. (They hug while everyone goes "Aww")
Nico: I'm happy for you Sammy.
William: So, guys. How do you feel now that Total Drama is finally ending?
We all cheered wildly.
Me: I guess that's a big thumbs up.
Bridgette: As you can see not everyone is here. Scarlett is backstage with Harold working on some kind of invention. So let's check in with them and see what they're up to. (The monitor behind her turns on revealing Scarlett and Harold) Hey guys, how's it going with your invention?
Scarlett: We've just got started on the base of our latest creation. With any luck, we could have it done before the end of the show.
Harold: Hey sis, (holds up a huge red battery) is this the power source we need? There were so many batteries at the parts store.
Scarlett: Yeah, the red one is to power this thing. The other ones we saw won't work on this machine.
Me: Glad you have your sister back Harold.
Harold: Thanks J.D.
Mike: Um, what kind of a machine is this?
Scarlett: I can't say because I want to surprise you all.
Lindsay: Oh I love surprises!
Me: Me too.
Max: Hey, I've just thought of something. Your name is Scarlett but you invent things. That name so does not fit you.
Scarlett: (Annoyed) What do you mean by that?
Max: Well, doesn't Scarlett mean someone who sells cloth.
Scarlett: That is true but I got that name because of my scarlet red hair.
Me: Scarlet is also a color you dingus.
Max: Hmm, I still think you're wasting your talent on something that you can't do right; like making a clone that turned evil for example.
Me: Shut up Max!
Scarlett: (Angry) I am a great inventor! That was the only one that didn't turn out the way I hoped. At least she hates you as much as I do. You will never be cut out for this evil thing.
Max: (Outraged, gasps) Those are fighting words there! You are so going to… (Jasmine picks him up and ties a rope around his "good leg" and hoists him up into the air) Hey, you bring me down right now.
Jasmine: Okay, whatever you say. (She lets go of the rope and he falls to the floor screaming)
CRASH!
Scarlett: (Giggles) Thanks Jasmine! I needed a good laugh. Well, I better get back to work.
Me: If he tries anything Scarlett, he will regret it.
Trent: OK, we'll check back later. (The monitor turns off) And after seeing Max get humiliated just now, it's time for a segment we like to call "Max's Greatest Blunders!"
(A series of stock footage of Max from this season glide across the screen)
(Cuts to him repairing his Evil Helmet and places it on a duck. The duck then shows off its sharp teeth and chases Max around. Cuts to him trying out his idea after Scarlett told him to pop the others balloons; tying his balloons to a long stick and hit everyone from a safe distance. He tries it out on a tree and manages to pop all of his balloons, break the stick, and getting some eggs all over his shirt but quickly wipes it off so no one could see that he was out. Cuts to him trying to invent something from the remains of the robo croc in the pit, but it just explodes and the head flies into the air and bites him in the butt again. Before he screams in pain, the clip cuts to him banging around inside the pipes to the underground control room. He goes up and down and even does a full loop before landing face first on the ground outside the control room.)
Sky: (Outraged) Wait a minute! Max got me out after he got himself out secretly? That's Cheating! I should have still been in the game when that happened and you should have gone home that day. You are so going to pay for that.
Bridgette: Actually Sky, he already did this morning. Check out what happened when you were getting ready for the show.
(The monitor shows Sky with a bath towel wrapped around her; putting her dress on the bathroom counter. She then walks away and takes a shower. While she does that, Max peaks from outside the window and pulls out another one of his inventions.)
Max: (Laughs quietly) Once I've used my shred-inator on your dress, you will have nothing to wear for the show. This is payback for you and Shawn for taking my million away from me.
(He prepares to fire his invention until he hears the water stop running. He ducks down just as Sky arrives to take her dress away. Before she does, she walks over to the window, leans over, closes her eyes, and squeezes as much water out of her hair as she can. She then picks up her dress and walks away just before Max's invention blows up in his face. He gets up and leans over the window seal covered in ashes and smoke.)
Max: (Dazed) Back to the old drawing board. (He faints just before the monitor turns off)
Sky: Ha, I got you and I didn't even notice nor did I even try.
Max: (Moans)
Scott: Ha, not so evil now huh?
Max: (Angry) Oh I can be so evil and I can prove it by making someone here cry. (Looks at Gwen) Hey you, why did you go Goth? Did you get picked on by some bullies back at your school like Sky did?
Gwen: (Defensive) You don't need to know why.
Max: Maybe you didn't care about what was going around you anymore and didn't care about anyone at some point?
Gwen: (Offended) I'll have you know I care about my surroundings and my friends very much; including my Mother and Brother.
Max: Your Mother and Brother huh. What about your Father? Is he the reason why you went Goth? (Gwen begins to look upset) Oh yes, that's it isn't it! Something happened to your father that made you become this way. In fact, does this also have something to do with your fear of being buried alive? (Gwen's eyes begin to water. Courtney's face turns mean and nasty looking.) Yes, now this is REAL Evil! I know why you when Goth. It's because of your father's death.
(He does an evil laugh as Gwen begins to sob. Courtney is about to attack Max until someone throws one of their shoes at him. The shoe belongs to Zoey.)
And I punch Max in the back of the head.
Me: Shut your fucking trap Max.
Hunter kicked him in the stomach and punched him in the face!
Hunter: (German Accent) Ja! You are an ignorant Kartoffelgesicht!
Zoey: (Picking up her shoe and putting it back on her foot) How dare you make my sister-like friend cry!? (She walks over to comfort Gwen with Courtney) Gwen, are you OK?
Courtney: Go ahead, tell us what happened.
Gwen: (Wiping her eyes) It was when I was 8 years old; just like Sammy. Me and my family were on vacation when we went exploring through this cave. It suddenly began to shake and some rocks fell to the ground; trapping me underground. I was so scared that I thought that it was the end for me. My Dad managed to move some of the rocks out of the way so I could escape. But the cave became more unstable and both me and my dad couldn't make I out together. So, so he pushed me out of the cave just as the rocks crashed on top of him. We tried to rescue him, but he died the second the rocks fell on him. That was the saddest, scariest, and worst day of my life. I was so scared my Mom had to comfort me every night for the next two years. During that time the others at school would tease me for being scared and sad. And one day, I just snapped and I just turned dark and sour; but not to my family. And thus, the Goth girl you know today was born and the old me was gone.
We gasped!
Me: Whoa man. Gwen I am so sorry that happened to you.
Nico: Your father was a hero. He saved your life.
Vince: I'm so sorry Gwen.
Carol: Yeah.
Sammy: (Walks over to her) I'm so sorry that happened to you. I know how it feels to lose a Father who sacrificed himself to help others in need. Both of our Dads were very brave, and I'm sure that they would be proud of what we have done for our friends. I believe the old you is still in there somewhere.
Nico: That's right.
Gwen: (Smiles) Thanks Sammy! I'm glad to have met someone who understands my pain. You're a great new friend. (The two of them share a hug before Zoey and Courtney join in)
Audience: Aww!
Me: So cute.
Max: (Wakes up) OK, now that I brought up Gwen's Father, it's time to bring up Sammy's.
Me: (Points a gun at his face) You shut up Max, or I will kill you!
LeShawna: (Gets up and rolls up her short sleeves) Oh the only one who is about to cry next is you. LeSHAWNA CHOP!
(She karate chops Max backwards; sending him stumbling towards the trap door. Topher pulls onto the rope and opens the trap door.)
Max: Oh no no no no no no! (He falls through the trap door) SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! (He crashes) AW! What the heck is down here? (He hears something turn on) Wait, isn't that a… (He begins to scream in pain)
Noah: What the heck is down there?
Scarlett: (Reappearing on the monitor) I found one of Billy's robo-crocs and brought it here in case Max got so annoying that we could just throw him into the trap door with the croc.
Noah: (Impressed) Nice!
Me: Very clever. (Puts gun away)
Max: AH! SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE!
Trent: OK Max, we'll get you out, (looks into the camera) right after this commercial break. Come back for some more of our Total Drama Galaxy special right after this.
Max: Seriously?
(The D pops in and out of the title)
(Commercial Break)
(The title pops up and the D pops in and out of the title)
Bridgette: Welcome back everyone! During the break we were able to get Max out of the trap door. Hope he doesn't pull another stunt like what he just did or he could end up back in that pit with the robo croc. (Max moans)
Me: Fuck you Max.
Trent: You Okay now Gwen?
Gwen: Yeah, I'm much better now that I got that off my chest. I'm very grateful to have Courtney, Zoey, LeShawna, and now Sammy as friends. And all of you guys as well.
Sammy: Awe thanks Gwen!
Me: And all of us too.
Gwen (Total Drama): Right. Thanks J.D.
Bridgette: Hey Sammy, we know what happened to your Father, but we would like to know what is on that DVD of yours.
Sammy: Huh, can we please wait on that for a while? I haven't looked at it yet but I would rather talk about a happy moment about him since we just heard a very sad story a few moments ago.
Me: Take all the time you need Sammy.
Bridgette: Okay Sammy, what was your happiest moment with you Dad?
Sammy: It was when he took me to this carnival by the pier. We spent the whole day together away from Amy and our Mom. We played a lot of games; including mini golf, ring toss, arcade games, and even that game where you shoot water into the clown's mouth. But the one game that we had to play was this super hard game where you had to knock down this small spaceship. My Dad was able to win it and he gave me (pulls out her bear) this beautiful Blue Teddy Bear as a gift. It's been my most prized possession ever since. And for the next 24 hours, I was happy.
Trent: And what happened after the 24 hours was up? (He sees her holding her bear tightly looking very sad) OH, I'm so sorry! That was when he…
Sammy: My worst day ever happened after my best day ever. Who would have thought that in just 24 hour after spending time with my Dad that I would lose him forever. (Sighs) At least I now have a new home and a family that cares about me; including a sister that loves me back.
Jasmine: I'm happy to hear you say that Sammy. (They both share a hug)
Amy: (Annoyed) Why is everyone calling her Sa… Sam… S… You know what I mean. Her real name is Samey.
Me: Shut up Amy, you fucking bitch! Her name is not Samey!
Sammy: That's right! Not anymore! When we signed to adoption papers, I asked the guy there if I could have the name on my birth certificate changed. He had to talk things out with the government, but we were able to change it after that. Now my name is now officially Sammy; just the way it was meant to be.
Amy: Hmph, I could have changed your birth certificate without asking the government's permission.
Brick: Uh, you do realize that you could go to jail for that.
Me: That's right. That's fraud.
Sammy: Oh, now I'm really glad that she's no longer my sister because I do not want to be related to a criminal. No offense Duncan!
Duncan: None taken.
Sammy: No offense to the Redemption Squad too.
Volcana: None taken Sammy.
Bridgette: OK, now then, I think it's time for the big even. In honor our final episode of Total Drama, we are hosting one final challenge for you to compete in.
Pahkitew Cast: WHAT!
Dave: (Panicking) No, please, no more challenges! We have all suffered enough. Some of our friendships and relationships were almost destroyed due to them. And I don't want to endure anymore pain.
Bridgette: Relax Dave, none of these challenges are life threatening. In fact, these challenges are like the ones from season one; simple and somewhat safe.
Trent: And this challenge will be worth it. (Chef walks onstage with something big and covered on a trolley) Underneath this tarp is a statue of a certain someone that was sculpted by our very own Gwen.
Gwen: And I almost gagged when I finished.
Trent: (Pulls the tarp off the statue) Behold, a statue of Billy McLean! (Chef comes back with a wheel with a picture of everyone from generations 1, 2 and 3) On this wheel here are pictures of every competitor from the first five seasons.
Cameron: The writers considered Pahkitew Island as the second half of season 5.
Me: Oh. That makes sense.
Topher: (Annoyed) Well that was just a stupid attempt to give us a 26 episode season. If they wanted to do that, then they should have just given us a 26 episode All Star season or just called Pahkitew Island season 6.
Me: I agree.
Cameron: Yeah, that does sound stupid.
Trent: Anyways, when I spin the wheel, whoever it lands on, you guys will have to partake in that persons challenge.
Tyler: So this is like the semi-finals from season 1?
Trent: Yeah, only it's not gross and dangerous. Now just to let you know, not all of you will partake in every challenge. Example, my challenge requires you to put parts of a motorcycle back together and the ones who would be competing would be all of the guys.
Shawn: Ah, OK; though I don't know how to put a motorcycle together. So how am I going to win an award if I can't win at it?
Sky: Don't worry about the prize Shawn, just have fun doing it.
Shawn: Wow, great advice Sky!
Sky: I learned it from you, remember?
Shawn: You're Right!
Ella: Excuse me but what is that question mark for?
Bridgette: Oh, if the wheel stops there, then one of you guys can give the rest of us a challenge. It's first come first serve.
Me: So it acts like a wild card.
Trent: Exactly. And the reward for each challenge is the same; the winner gets to do something humiliating to the statue to show our hatred towards Billy.
(Everyone Cheers. Pans out to Billy watching from the taxi.)
Billy: (Shocked, angry) Destroy a statue of me!? Now those kids have gone too far this time. Step on it driver.
Driver: We'll get there when we get there. I hope you have enough money to pay for this.
Billy: Of course I do, but remind me about the fee again.
(Cuts to outside the cab at a stop light)
Billy: Uh, take a check? (The driver kicks him out) WHY THAT'S HIGHWAY ROBBERY! Where am I going to get that kind of dough at a high class resort like this? (He then notices another taxi with an affordable fee and gets in) Airport please! (The taxi takes off)
(Cuts back to the stage)
Bridgette: OK Trent, time to spin the wheel. (He spins the wheel as the game show tune from "No Pain No Game" plays in the background. The wheel lands on DJ.) D.J.'s challenge is first.
D.J.: Sweet, OK, I need everyone for this one. Your challenge is to rescue a bunny from getting attacked by a hungry bear. (Everyone gasps) Oh don't worry, the bunny is a stuffed toy and the bear is a cardboard cutout.
Me: That's easy.
D.J.: Those that succeed will get to do something to the statue. We will go in alphabetical order so line up and get ready. (Everyone, except Scarlett, lines up as a stuffed bunny pops up onstage) Ready Amy, and GO!
Amy: (Runs up to the bunny) OK you disgusting beast, come to me. (She deviously huddles over the bunny when the cardboard bear pops out and starts beating Amy over the head over and over again. Sammy, Jasmine, and Sky try hard not to laugh.)
Me: Like Nelson would say: HAW HAW!
Nelson Muntz: You said it J.D.
Topher: I thought you said these challenges weren't painful.
Trent: No, I said they were not life threatening.
Topher: Oh!
DJ: And Amy has failed the challenge. Beardo, you're next.
Beardo: (Makes car vrooming sounds)
Dave: (Sighs) But I still have to listen to Beardo's sound effects. Just great!
D.J.: GO!
(Beardo runs in slow motion and the bear just beats up the bunny before he is even a quarter of the way there)
D.J.: And Beardo has also failed the test.
Beardo: (Makes the sound when Mario dies in "Super Mario Bros.")
Dave: OK, the video game sound effects are tolerable.
D.J.: Dave, you up buddy. And GO!
(Dave runs as fast as he could to the bunny. With no other way out, he just picks up the bunny and tosses it away just as the bear beats him over the head.)
D.J.: Dave got beaten by the bear but he did save the bunny so he gets a chance to mess up the statue.
Sky: (Runs to Dave) Dave, are you alright?
Dave: Yeah, I'm fine!
(Sky hugs him and he hugs back)
DJ: OK, how about a montage to speed things along so we can get to the next challenge quickly?
(Montage)
(Cuts to Ella singing as the bear stops in place. She picks up the bunny and hugs it. Everyone is stunned the even an animatronic animal can fall under her singing spell. Cuts to Jasmine who just takes one jump, grabs the bunny, and jumps back with 5 seconds to spare. Cuts to Leonard who tries waving his wand at the bunny to see if he can levitate it, but it doesn't move and gets beaten up. Cuts to Max who struggles to run due to his bad leg. He then realizes what he is doing and just stops to let the bunny get beaten up as he laughs at its misery. DJ glares at him. Cuts to Rodney who grabs the cardboard bear and throws it away. The interns replace the bear with a new one. Cuts to Sammy who runs and grabs the bunny before the bear pops out. She cradles the bunny in her arms and cares for it like it's a real bunny.)
D.J.: Awe you are so great with animals.
Sammy: Well with Jasmine and I opening a flower and pet shop when we return to Australia, I need to practice caring for them.
D.J.: You would have been able to open it either way?
Sammy: If Shawn won, Jasmine would've used her quarter for our business. If Sky won, Dave would've given up his quarter for us. (To Jasmine) And yes, even I didn't think your original idea was a good one.
Jasmine: It's Okay! You're the only one that I wouldn't get mad over if you said that. That's what sisters do; respect the others opinions. (Amy rolls her eyes) By the way, what is your favorite animal?
Sammy: A gingered cat; especially when it has just been born.
Jasmine: Well, when we get home, I will get you one.
Sammy: Really, oh thank you Jasmine. (They hug)
I ran fast and rescued the bunny and won.
(Cuts to Shawn who runs like a maniac and punches the cardboard cutout like it's a zombie and grabs the bunny. The interns replace the bear with a new one. Cuts to Sky who hand springs towards to bunny, picks it up, and backflips out of the way.)
(Montage Ends)
D.J.: Wow, I'm impressed by many of you. Though Shawn and Rodney, you didn't need to beat up the bear just to save the bunny.
Shawn: Sorry, my zombie fighting instincts were calling to me.
Me: Yeah he can't help it.
Rodney: And I had to do this to some wild animals back on the farm who would try to eat any of our livestock.
Nico: Wow.
D.J.: Well it is wrong to attack an animal but if it was for self-defense or to protect your own animals then I can understand that a little bit. OK Sugar, you're up. GO!
(But Sugar couldn't run as she was completely bandaged up. Ella sings again and the bear stops again. She dances over to the bunny and saves it.)
D.J.: Ella saves another bunny. Man this girl I amazing!
Ella: Here you go Sugar. Aren't you proud of me? (She walks away. Sugar smiles.)
D.J.: Topher, you're the last one up. And GO!
Topher: (Narrates) And Topher runs, grabs his bunny, and runs back just in time. (He gets his bunny out of there just before the bear attacks)
D.J.: And Topher joins the others who have won this challenge; Dave, Ella, Jasmine, J.D. Rodney, Sammy, Shawn, and Sky. Now you all can decide on what you want to do to the Billy statue.
Shawn: Well based on this challenge I think we all know what to do to the statue.
(Transitions to the statue with rabbit ears, nose, and tail)
Dave: Hey look, it's Billy McCotton Tail! Isn't he cute? (Makes barfing sounds) NOT!
(Everyone cracks up. Cuts to Billy in the taxi.)
Billy: (Annoyed) No one turns me into a cute bunny. I don't even like "The Bunny Hop."
(Cuts back to the stage)
Me: Here's what I would do.
I pulled out a carton full of eggs.
Gwen (Total Drama): Eggs?
Me: Rotten eggs. Plug your noses.
I put on a nose plug and threw the eggs at the Billy statue and they slammed into it and shattered it and exploded.
KRABBBOOOOOOOMMMM! KRABBBBBBOOOOOOOOMMMM! KRABBBBBOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM! KRABBBBBOOOOOOMMMMM! KRABBBBOOOOOOOOMMM!
FOGHORN!
(Cuts to Billy in the taxi)
Billy: OH HE DID NOT JUST DO THAT! I WILL KILL HIM!
Trent: OK, now that Chris has been turned into a rabbit and rotten egged, it's time for the second challenge. (He spins the wheel. It stops on Brick.) It's Brick's turn to give you guys a challenge.
Brick: (Excited) Alright! OK, I want all the men to follow me outside. If there are any girls that want to compete as well, just call out.
Sammy: I'll take part in this.
Sky: Me too!
Brick: OK, let's go!
(Cuts to outside the studio where Brick has set up an obstacle course surrounded by mud)
Brick: Your challenge is to get to the other end of this military based obstacle course. (Pans over to a wall) First, you must climb the wall, (pans over to a field of tires) then you must run across the field of tires, (pans over to a low hanging wired fence) then crawl under the wired fence, (pans over to a rope swing) then swing over the pit, (pans over to some logs) and jump over some hurdle logs to cross the finish line. First one there will win.
Dave: (Gulps) That's a lot of mud!
Me: Cool! Just like the kind of obstacle courses my grandfather went through.
Sky: You'll be OK?
Dave: As long as I can have a shower after this, I'll be OK. But it's you that I'm worried about. You'll get your new dress all dirty.
Scarlett: (Over loudspeaker) Oh, not only is it damage resistant, it's also stained resistant.
Dave: Bridgette was right, that is some dress!
Nico: Wow. Impressive.
Sky: Yeah, and don't forget that I got it dirty during the second challenge of the finale and it wasn't ruined after that.
Dave: That's true.
Max: (Annoyed) OK enough talk about that stupid dress, time to start focusing on winning.
Sky: (Stern) You know; I've been focusing all season long. Since I've already accomplished what I needed to do, I'm just going to have fun with these challenges.
Brick: (Salutes) There you go! (Sky salutes back) Alright, on your marks, get set, GO!
(Everyone starts to climb the wall, except Leonard)
We went over the obstacle course and more.
Brick: What are you doing?
Leonard: Quiet, I'm trying to concentrate on flying over this course.
(Brick rolls his eyes. Everyone but Topher manages to climb over the wall.)
Topher: Ah this is so hard with just one good arm.
Sky: (Holding her hand out) Let me help you over.
Topher: (Takes her hand) Thanks! (They climb over the wall and splash in the mud) Eek, so muddy!
Sky: It's OK; we can get cleaned up when we're done.
Topher: (Confident) OK, let's keep going.
(They run towards the next obstacle)
Sky: By the way, sorry for leaving you behind.
Topher: Hey, you needed to save your sister. I understand that. It's Billy that I blame for that.
Me: Me too. Fucking asshole.
Nico: Yeah!
Vince: Motherfucker twit.
(Cuts to the tires)
Me: (Runs through the tires) HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT HUT!
Dave: (Walking on the tires edges very carefully) Easy does it! Easy does it! (Max splashes him) AH MUD! IT'S ALL OVER ME! GET IT OFF!
Sammy: Come on Dave, you can still do it.
Dave: (Stern) You're right!
(He continues on. Cuts to the fence. Rodney is stuck under it.)
Rodney: Curse me for not only having sausage fingers but for also being too big.
Max: Ha, see you later big guy. (Laughs evilly)
Shawn: (Pulling the wires away) Don't worry, I've got you.
Rodney: Thanks Shawn!
Shawn: Just like in a zombie apocalypse, you never leave anyone behind.
Brick: (Off-screen) Well said Shawn; well said.
(Cuts to the swing)
Beardo: (The sound from "Pit Fall" where the character swings over the pit)
(He lets go too early and falls into the pit)
Beardo: (The sound from "Pit Fall" when the character falls into the pit or dies)
(Sammy swings over the pit and lands too hard on the other side; getting her feet stuck in the mud)
Sammy: Oh come on. Why do I have to get stuck near the end?
Max: (Lands and splashes Sammy) See you at the finish line Samey!
Me: Shut your fucking trap Max!
(Sammy scowls at him as she slips her feet out of her boots and continues running. Cuts to the logs.)
Max: Evil will win this day. (He laughs evilly as he jumps over the first long and notices Sammy.) What, you're running through a muddy obstacle course in your bare feet?
Sammy: It was the only way I could get unstuck. (Jumps over a log) But I don't mind, I actually like the feeling of the mud under my feet. (Jumps over another log) I never got the chance to go outside and get dirty when I was a kid.
Me: I don't blame you.
Max: What you just said was just gross. But it doesn't matter, (jumps over another log) because I'm going to win.
Me: Evil always loses.
Sammy: Wait a minute, how can you be running well if your leg is broken?
Max: (Realizing what she just said) Oh shoot!
(He suddenly trips over the last log with his bad leg and falls face first into the mud. I then kick him in the face and Sammy crosses the finish line and wins.)
Brick: (Off-screen) And Sammy and J.D. win the challenge, (Dave, Sky, Topher, Shawn, and Rodney cross too) followed by Dave, Sky, Topher, Shawn, and Rodney. And Max and Beardo never finished the course while Leonard still hasn't even started yet.
Sammy: Yes, I won!
Nico: Way to go J.D.!
Topher: Here, (hands Sammy her boots) Sky and I dug your boots out when we made the pit. I must say you were very brave going on without these. You really are better than Amy.
Sammy: Aw, thanks Topher! (The two of them blush as they look at each other)
Me: Aww. I agree with Topher.
Sky: OK I can see you two need some time together so I'll leave you two be while I go and get cleaned up. (She leaves as Sammy and Topher continue to stare at each other)
Dave: (Running after Sky) Wait for me!
(Cuts back to the stage. Everyone is cleaned up.)
Bridgette: So Sammy, since you and J.D. won, what do you two plan to do to the statue?
Sammy: (Holding up a bucket of mud) I have an idea. (Looks deviously at the statue as she smashes mud into the statues eyes) Here's mud in your eye McLean.
Noah: Good Choice! I would've done the same to the real Billy with all that grease I had to lay down in Episode 2.
Me: Me too. Here's what I would do.
I held up a dodgeball and threw it at the statue and it smashed into the nose of the statue and shattered it.
Nico: Nice one!
Me: Thanks man.
(Trent spins the wheel and it lands on the question mark)
Trent: Oh would you look at that; looks like one of our new friends gets to give us a challenge. So, who's up for it?
Jasmine: (Raises her hand) I've got one and everyone but Sammy, Sky, Scarlett, and Gwen has to attend.
Duncan: Gwen doesn't have to compete in this?
Jasmine: Nope, cause she already did three years ago.
Gwen: Oh I know what your challenge is.
Gwen/Jasmine: Vegemite!
(Everyone gasps)
Me: Uh oh!
Jo: What the heck is that?
Jasmine: It's a kind of sauce that can only be found in Australia. You put it on your sandwiches or any other kind of meal.
Me: I remember having that. Years ago.
Gwen: And let me tell you all; that stuff is strong! After Jasmine rescued me,… Actually do we have a clip of that? (Someone nods yes off-screen) Great, play it!
(The clip plays at the moment when Gwen lands in Australia after she was eliminated in World Tour. She is then kick in the face, which was puffy due to her allergic reaction to Eucalyptus, by a Kangaroo before Jasmine jumps in and hog ties it. She then pulls out an epee pen and cures Gwen of her allergic reaction.)
Gwen: (Gasps as her face goes back to normal) Thanks for that.
Jasmine: Don't mention it. Let me take you home with me and I'll get you something to eat before I send you back home.
Gwen: Great! I'm Gwen by the way.
Jasmine: (Shake her hand) Jasmine.
(The clip ends)
Me: Wow! So that's how you two met and became friends.
LeShawna: Wow, you two knew each other before the other seasons.
Jasmine: Yeah, we became good friends after I saved her.
Vince: Cool!
Me: That's anazing.
Nico: It sure is.
Gwen: And now you owe me twice for saving me in the pit. (Thinks for a second) Actually just once since you destroyed that other statue of Billy.
Jasmine: I'll see what I can do about that.
Jo: And how come Samey, Sky, and Scarlett don't have to do this?
Sky: Well I was able to have my sleep over with Scarlett, and we invited Sammy and Jasmine. It was Scarlett's birthday yesterday and we had a great time. (Looks at Ella) Sorry we didn't invite you.
Ella: That's alright; I wasn't there when you girls came up with the idea.
Sammy: Well Jasmine had some vegemite with her and we wanted to try some. Big Mistake! We almost gagged when we tasted it. Luckily we were able to wash the taste away. I'm never having that stuff again.
Me: Whoo. No kidding.
Jasmine: It's fine; you don't have to, but everyone else has to. Oh yeah, and Harold doesn't have to, he tried some as well since we had the sleepover at his house.
(Jasmine gives everyone a packet of vegemite and a slice of bread. They don't look happy as they spread it on the piece of bread.)
Jasmine: OK, the one who doesn't complain as much will win. Go!
Trent: (Takes a bite) OH MAN! You were right Gwen; this stuff is strong.
Bridgette: (Takes a bite) OH, I'm so going to need a drink of water when we are done.
Mike: (Moans) Manitoba Smith would have loved this but not me.
Me: He sure would. But he is apart of you now.
Mike: That's true.
Zoey: (Spits after her bite) I thought you said you still had a part of all of your personalities still inside you after you reset your mind.
Mike: Only their abilities, not their taste.
Cameron: Resetting your mind won't fix your disorder; (sticks his tongue out after taking a bite) only blending them together can do that. But it would take years to do that.
Me: That's true.
Sam: Well this is a cartoon so (takes a bite and spits) common logic doesn't have to exist.
Me: Save the 4th Wall breaking for us Sam.
Sam: Sorry.
Cameron: (Annoyed) But that's beside the point, and please don't break to fourth wall.
Dave: Yeah, leave that to someone else; (takes a bite and gags) like a pink pony.
Me: Or Team Loud Phoenix Storm.
Brick: (Groans) I've eaten some disgusting stuff back at boot camp but this, this is the worst.
Me: Trust me. You aren't the only one. My grandfather had to survive on eating inedible gruel back then during the war.
Brick: Wow.
Scott: (Spits) If I had some dirt this probably wouldn't taste that bad.
Me: That can be arranged.
Duncan: Yuck; even the food in Jail didn't taste this bad.
Me: I thought they serve chili in prison Duncan?
Duncan: They do but only on certain days.
Courtney: (Cringes) Even the food from Wawanakwa tasted better than this.
Me: Well now I know what my grandfather ate during the war.
Amy: I don't see what's so wrong with this. You guys are a bunch of babies.
Nico: Shut up Amy.
Max: Evil never complains about eating.
Laney: I think it's tasty.
Lana: It's really good Jasmine.
Jasmine: Thanks mate.
Nico: That's Lana for you.
Leonard: This could be good wizard food.
(Amy, Max, and Leonard take a bite of the vegemite. Their faces become stunned and green as they drop the bread, grab a paper bag, and bury their mouths in them as they vomit.)
Sammy: (To Jasmine) Huh, guess you were able to make Amy puke. Looks like I owe you five bucks. (Jasmine & Sammy giggle)
We laughed.
Owen: (Takes a bite and licks his lips) Wahoo; this is delicious! Is there anymore?
Me: (Chuckles) Owen will eat practically anything.
Coop: I think it's really good.
Lisa Simpson: It's really good. And I am a vegetarian.
Alejandro: (Annoyed) Of course the ones who would eat anything would like this.
Me: Said the one who got his face punched in by yours truly.
Lucy Loud: Yep.
Jasmine: OK, everyone can stop eating. Since Owen, J.D., Lisa Simpson, Lana and Laney never complained, they win.
Heather: Good, cause I wasn't going to take another bite out of this crap.
Varie punched her in the face.
Duncan: Maybe that's what this stuff is made out of.
Heather: (Covers her mouth as her cheeks bulges out) Does anyone have another one of those paper bags lying around here?
Nico: Over there.
Nico pointed to a bag on a pile of chum. Heather threw up in Max's face!
Max: OH THANKS A LOT YOU BITCH!
Jasmine: So, Owen, what do you want to do to the statue?
Max: Oh I think I have an idea if Owen will let me.
Owen: Sure Max, go right ahead because I've got nothing.
(Max takes the rest of the vegemite and shoves it into the statues mouth)
Max: Let's see you try this Billy!
(Cuts to Billy in the taxi just outside the airport)
Billy: (Outraged) No one force feeds me like that; even if it's just a statue. (Gets out of the taxi) I'm coming for you all.
Taxi Driver: (Angry) Hey, what about the toll?
(Cuts back to the stage)
Bridgette: OK, now's a good time to take a little break and talk to our new friends even more.
Max: I really want to hear more about Samey's father.
Me: Shut up Max!
Trent: Actually we want talk to Sky.
Max: (Annoyed) Fine!
Bridgette: So Sky, how's it been for you after Pahkitew Island and Galaxy and what's the progress on your sister's condition?
Sky: Well as you can see I'm having a lot of fun today. Life is better without this show. But as you all know I only came just so I could save Misty. And I was lucky to get the money but even more lucky to get to the hospital on time. The doctors said that if I was an hour later I might have lost her forever.
Me: Oh man.
Lindsay: (Wipes away a tear) Aw, that really is sad.
Sky: Don't be sad Lindsay. She's doing great now. She still has to stay there for a while but she will make a full recovery soon.
Me: That's a relief.
Trent: Speaking of you sister, you said she was the one who named you Sky. How's that?
Sky: Well I was born at home in the backyard and Misty helped our late mom deliver me. When Misty held me in her arms for the first time, she just smiled at me. She then noticed me smiling not only at her, but to the sky as I pointed my arm upward. She agreed with me that the sky was beautiful; and that's why I was caused Sky.
Courtney: Wow, that's amazing!
Me: That is adorable!
Sky: Yeah, she was always there for me; like I was to her. (Looks at Dave) And I kept my promise about introducing Dave to her.
Lori: Aww. Literally adorable.
Dave: Yeah, she was very nice. But she wasn't the only one that we met that day.
Sky: Oh yeah, on the way to my sleepover, we stopped at the jail where Keith was.
Me: Who was Keith?
Sky: He was my ex-boyfriend. I finally broke up with him while we were there and he wasn't happy. We got a copy of the jail's security video from the warden for you all to see. Play the clip!
(The monitor plays the clip that Sky brought)
Keith: (Angry) Fine, break up with me for all I care. I never loved you anyways. I was just using you just so I could get close to your sister and use her athletic moves against her. I'm the real greatest Olympian in the world.
We gasped!
Sky: (Annoyed) You will never be a great athlete. And you will never be a great boyfriend. (Calms down as she holds Dave) Dave is the real one for me. He's kind, funny, and truly does care for me. (She lets go and leaves) come on Dave, let's get out of here.
Dave: Coming Sky! (He looks angrily at Keith) You will pay for almost killing her sister and for almost ruining her life forever.
Keith: And what do you plan to do about it; you germiphobic weakling?
Dave: This!
POW!
(He punches Keith in the face and knocks him out)
Dave: I did it to Billy and now you know how he feels. (He walks off camera before screaming in pain)
(The clip ends)
Me: Nice one Dave.
Scott: Wow, you not only knocked out Billy but you also knocked out Keith; I'm impressed.
Me: For once I agree.
Lucy Loud: I agree too.
Lynn: Nice shot though Dave.
Dave: Well he did deserve it, and I didn't get into trouble for that because the warden was sick and tired of him shouting 24/7. That was the quietest day he ever had since Keith arrived.
Me: I would be sick of that as well.
Sierra: (Excited) Your fans are so going to flip when they hear about this.
Nico: No kidding.
Trent: And speaking of fans, we have some who want to call in and talk to you Sky.
Sky: (A bit worried) I hope it's not more negative stuff.
Trent: Don't worry, everyone here has something nice to say about you.
(The monitor turns on behind him and a fan named Peter appears)
Peter: Hi Sky, it's Peter! I originally thought that you were nothing special but I guess you proved me wrong. I'm very proud of you and glad to see that you are happy. And you do look very pretty. Dave is lucky to have someone like you.
Sky: Awe, thanks Peter.
(Cuts to a fan named Erin)
Erin: I'll be honest, I thought Sky was going to be bland, but after seeing her struggles, her great sportsman skills and her reason to why she needed the money, I'll say she's a great person. Great job Sky!
(Sky gives him a thumbs up. Cuts to a fan named Rebekah.)
Rebekah: (Wipes her eyes) That was beautiful... I'm sorry I ever doubted you, Sky! (Starts crying)
Sky: It's OK, I forgive you!
Rebekah: (Sniffs) Thanks! (Blows her nose)
(Cuts to a fan named Kyle)
Kyle: I'll admit Sky, I had my doubts about you a little bit at first, but then you've turned yourself around and proved to me that you are a truly good person indeed.
(Sky places her hand over her heart. Cuts to a fan named Cluny.)
Cluny: Although Sky might had some bad moments in Total Drama, she still showed that she was and can be a great friend. She was loyal to Ella and kept her word not to tell Chris that Ella sang. She also tried to find a way to help Sammy. She even tried to make it up to Dave for before. She is what we call a loyal and great friend, unlike Sugar.
Sugar: (Muffles, Outraged) Hey!
Cluny: Since I found out her reason of being in Total Drama and trying to win the million, I'd say that Sky is a hero and I'm sorry if I almost thought of her as a female Lightning. Here is to contrast them, Lightning is a selfish idiot while Sky is a caring and brilliant hero.
Lightning: (Offended) Hey!
Cluny: I'm glad Sky got to save her sister on time, regain her friendships, and her relationship with Dave. She deserves it and has gained more of my respect.
Sky: Thanks!
(Cuts to a fan named Daniel)
Daniel: When I first saw Sky; I thought of her no more than an a bland/athletic version of Zoey whose leadership skills were lacking. However as time went on she proved to be an excellent contestant that is easily relatable. I'm glad she made it this far in Total Drama.
Sky: (Amazed) I can't believe how many people like me now. (To Zoey) Sorry if people are still calling you bland.
Zoey: Haters gonna hate!
(Cuts to a fan named Noy)
Noy: So... She is playing fair, she's good; sometimes too good, but when it's needed, she knows how to stand for what hers. She's sweet, kind, and seems to care for her family. She's good looking, a good leader, and puts others before herself.
(Sky is starting to feel emotional about all these positive feedbacks. Cuts to a fan named Linda.)
Linda: Sky is and will always be my favorite TDPI character. I loved her in this season and how she was determined to win for saving her sister Misty. I'm also a huge Skave fan! I really, really liked her friendship with Scarlett, Shawn, Sammy and other characters. She is a very nice and sweet person and she deserves the best.
(Dave places his hand over Sky's and they smile before sharing a hug)
(Cuts to two older athletes who look like they are in college; both wearing pink T-shirts and purple shorts. One is a guy who is big and muscular and the other is his girlfriend who is tall and thin.)
Ryan: Hey there Sky, it's Ryan.
Stephanie: And Stephanie.
Ryan: We are glad that you made it to the finale.
Stephanie: We knew that you would do well.
Sky: Thanks you guys. (Looks closely at them) Hey, you almost look like the guys in my dream back in Episode 8.
Ryan: Really, WOW!
Stephanie: Well maybe we'll see you at the Olympics in the future. Can't wait to compete alongside you.
Sky: Sure thing!
Ryan: Oh you are so kind Stephanie.
Stephanie: So are you Ryan.
(The two of them start making out as the monitor turns off)
Me: I remember this.
Bridgette: (Sighs) I remember when Geoff and I used to make out all the time. I really wish he was here for this special occasion.
(Trent's phone rings and he answers it)
Trent: Hello!
Geoff: Hey dude!
Me: Hey Geoff.
Geoff: What's up J.D. my man?
Me: Just getting ready to kick Billy McLean's fucking butt when he gets here.
Trent: Hey Geoff, nice of you to call in.
Geoff: Is Bridgette still there?
Trent: Yeah she is. I'll let you talk to her. (He hands the phone to her)
Bridgette: (Excited) Hi Geoff, I miss you.
Geoff: I miss you too Babe. Hey, I've got a surprise for you.
Bridgette: What is it?
Geoff: Look to your right.
(Bridgette turns to her right and is extremely happy to see Geoff standing right next to the Pahkitew cast. She hangs up, hands Trent his phone, and runs to Geoff as they both share a hug.)
Bridgette: Geoff, I'm so happy that you've come back. Is it just for this special?
Geoff: Nope, my parents weren't happy with their new job over in Europe so they decided to move back here. Now we can still be together in person.
Me: I'm sorry man.
Cody: That's exactly how I felt about Gwen being with Trent. I trusted him and they were both happy together. I meant every word I said about them back in season one.
Trent: Thanks man! And Geoff, before you take your seat next to Bridgette, we like you to introduce your favorite segment.
Geoff: Awesome! It's time for another segment of "That's Gonna Leave a Mark!"
Me: I love this part.
(Stock footage from the seasons best slapsticks slide across the screen)
(Cuts to Topher after Chef tosses him off the cliff that he and Billy were on. As soon as he hits the ground, Chef starts firing numerous tennis balls at him; burying him in a pile of tennis balls. Cuts to Shawn trying to climb out of the ravine with his grease pig, but he ends up falling down it again after it bites him again. Cuts to Rodney getting pecked on by Clucky viciously after his team loses. Cuts to Evil Scarlett as she is about to sit back down into her chair; but she misses the mark and falls out of the chair. Cuts to Sugar tossing Sky's shoes to her, but she ends up knocking her out; causing her to fall out of bed. Cuts to Billy being punched by Dave. Scuba Bear 3.0 shows up, grabs Billy by the neck, and starts punching him over and over again.)
(Cuts to Billy at the airport terminal. He is extremely mad when he sees and hears everyone laughing at his misfortune.)
Billy: (Angry) Those kids are going down!
Airport Attendant: Here's your ticket.
Billy: (Calm) Oh thanks! (He winks at her before storming off towards his flight)
(Cuts back to the Stage)
Topher: Seeing me getting attacked wasn't funny, but watching Billy getting pummeled by a bear is very therapeutic.
Me: Boy it sure is.
Nico: What a fucking failure.
Sky: I know right! What did you think Rodney?
(She sees him shivering in fear)
Rodney: The chicken; it haunts me.
Me: That chicken was a lunatic.
Sky: Well Chef turned her into chicken meal. So she can't hurt you anymore.
(The monitor turns on; revealing Scarlett)
Scarlett: I've got bad news.
D.J.: You won't be able to finish your invention before the end of the show.
Scarlett: No, it's Clucky! She broke in and stole my "Chicken Thought Translator." She told me that she wanted to get revenge on Rodney and stormed off.
Me: Oh shit!
(The monitor turns off)
Rodney: (Panicking) CLUCKY! (He huddles in fear)
Me: That chicken is gonna be a chicken dinner by the time I'm through with her!
Shawn: I thought that Chef cooked her up for our dinner.
Chef: (Off-screen) Actually she got away from me so I ordered another chicken instead.
Shawn: Uh oh! Better hide Rodney. She's got it in for him for insulting her on the island.
Sam: Wait, I've got an idea! I saw this in a point and click game once. Does anyone have any shaving cream? (Everyone shake no) Well does anyone have any whipped cream?
Owen: Yep, (pulls out a can of whipped cream) eat up.
Sam: Oh it's not for eating.
(He sprays it on top of Rodney's head and gives him a mustache and goatee. Clucky storms in.)
Clucky: Alright, where is that Rodney? I know he's around here somewhere. He's going to pay for making me a laughing stock around the hen house.
Tyler: Nope, haven't seen him.
Me: Nope.
Mike: You've got the wrong place.
Sammy: Never seen him before in my life.
Clucky: Liars! I know he's around he… (Notices a giant old country man) Who is this?
Sam: Don't you remember; he's one of your old friends.
Clucky: And that would be…
(Rodney realizes who he is pretending to be)
Rodney: (Old man country voice) The one and only Colonel Sanders.
Clucky: What, I don't know anyone named… (She gasps and freezes in terror) Colonel Sanders, as in the founder of…
Me: Yep. K.F.C.
(Rodney holds a bucket of chicken legs. Clucky "Bwaks" in fear and removes the translator just before running out of the studio. Rodney removes the disguise.)
Me: Heh!
Rodney: Ha, that will teach that big chicken not to mess with me. (He licks his cream covered fingers) Thanks Sam, thanks Owen.
Sam: It was no trouble; I just want to know why Scarlett invented a "Chicken Thought Translator."
Max: So she could talk to chickens, of course. She's crazy that way. (He suddenly gets electrified)
Dawn: Wow, who did that?
(Scarlett appears on the monitor)
Scarlett: I put a shock collar around his left wrist in case he tried to insult me.
Me: Good idea Scarlett.
Max: (Annoyed) You will pay for thi… (He gets electrified again and faints)
Scarlett: (Sighs) If Max is a villain; then I'm a hero. (The Monitor turns off)
Me: And if he tries anything else, I will kill him.
Trent: (A little weird out) Okay after all that I think it's time for another break.
Bridgette: Good idea. We'll be right back after these messages.
Max: (Dazed) Does anyone smell fried chicken?
Me: Just you.
(The D pops in and out of the title)
Bridgette: And we are back. After a little distraction from a crazy chicken, let's get back to our interview with Sky.
Sky: Well I've pretty much said everything that I wanted to say. But I do want to show you all something. (She pulls out a DVD) This is the DVD that Chris exposed during the Torture Challenge.
Duncan: (Smirks) You mean the one with you playing with your stuffed animals?
Sky: Yes, but there is more to it. I want to play it again; but this time, the whole way through.
(She hands the DVD over to Bridgette who slips it into the monitor. The clip starts at the begin again with Sky sitting on her bedroom floor in a dress barefoot having a tea party with her stuffed animals.)
Sky Clip: (Talking to her stuffed bear) Would you like to have some more tea Mr. Cuddles?
(Duncan, Heather, Alejandro, Scott, Lightning, Jo, Max, Amy, and Sugar begin to crack up)
Sky Clip: (Shows her giggling at her stuffed rabbit) Oh Mr. Cotton Tail you are funny!
Jo: (Cracking up) Real 16 year old Olympians don't play with their toys.
Me: Shut up Jo.
Mike: Well I think it's cute.
Zoey: Me too.
Lori: Same here.
Sky Clip: (Talking to her stuffed cat) More sugar Ms. Fluffy?
Heather: (Laughs) What would your sister think about you doing this?
Sky: Funny you should ask because…
(Misty, who is recording Sky, giggles in the background)
Sky Clip: (Embarrassed) Misty!
Misty Clip: (Off-screen) No no, keep going. Just pretend I'm not here.
Sky Clip: How about you join us instead.
Misty Clip: OK.
(Transitions to Misty joining Sky's tea party. She is wearing a purple hoodie, black leggings that stop at her calves, and is also barefoot.)
Geoff: Hey look, a burnet Bridgette, cool. (Bridgette giggles)
Sky Clip: Want some more?
Misty Clip: Yes please. (Sky pours her cup) Thanks! Let me fill up your cup.
(She picks up the tea pot and is about to fill up Sky's cup. As she pours, she accidentally drops the pot and splashes some tea on Sky's dress. Misty looks upset until both of them start laughing. The clip ends.)
(Everyone, even Sky, laughs)
Katie: That was so cute to watch.
Sadie: Guess you and your sister have a lot of fun together.
Sky: We sure do!
Me: That was so adorable.
Heather: I still find it funny that a 16 year old like you would still play with stuffed animals while having tea parties. What, do you have autism or something? (Laughs)
Celica punched Heather in the stomach!
Mike: (Outraged) Hey, it's not nice to make fun of people who have autism.
Sky: Thanks for defending them Mike but no, I don't have autism. It's just something I love to do. Everyone has a kid inside them right?
Me: That's true. I may be 16 myself by I will stay like this forever because of my immortality.
Geoff: That's cool. Well-spoken Sky.
Sky: Thanks! Well, I think I'm done interviewing, unless my sister would like to say a few words if she is watching.
Bridgette: Well you're in luck because she is and we have her on the air right now. (Misty shows up on the monitor still in her hospital bed, but feels much better at this point) Hello Misty.
Misty: Hey everyone, nice to meet all of you.
Trent: It's nice to meet you too. I can see you look stronger now than when we saw you in the finale.
Misty: Oh yeah. After the operation I could feel myself feeling stronger every day. I also finally got a good night's sleep after that.
Me: I'm glad you're doing all right Misty. The new heart I gave you with some of my blood really helped.
Sky: You gave Misty your heart J.D.?
Me: I sure did. The accident left her heart damaged. So I decided to volunteer and gave her my heart. I couldn't just let her die. So I had to help her out. And because of my immortality and invincibility my organs regenerate.
Sky then came up to me and hugged me and started crying.
Sky: (Crying) Thank you so much J.D.! You are a true angel! A selfless true angel!
Me: It was what I had to do Sky.
Dave: That was a really selfless deed J.D.
Nico: No kidding. Penny Marko had her heart transplanted as well with J.D.'s heart as well.
Zoey: Whoa! That is a really selfless deed.
Mike: So how much longer do you have to stay there?
Misty: The doctor says I should stay for another three days. The only real injuries I have left are a few cuts and bruises. But as soon as I get out, I'm going to spend the whole day with Sky. Maybe we could spend a day at the beach, go shopping, or even see a movie together.
Sky: I would love that. By the way, how much of the show did you see?
Misty: I saw every minute of it; including the moment when you performed Rhythm Gymnastics for the first time. You did an amazing job and I am very proud of you.
Sky: (Touched) Thanks Sis!
Misty: And when you mentioned doing it, I asked the doctor if I could record your performance and he said yes. So I recorded it, mailed the DVD to the Olympic Officials, and they checked it over.
Sky: (Surprised) You mailed my performance to the officials?
Misty: Yep, and they loved your performance too; so much that they want you to perform next year at the Olympics against other performers.
Sky: (Excited) I get to compete in the Olympics! Oh thank you Misty! Are you coming with me?
Misty: Of course I will. Maybe I'll compete alongside you. And you can invite two friends as well.
Sky: I know which two I'm going to bring.
Me: We all can go with you Sky. We wouldn't miss it for the world. I'm going to participate in the Olympics as well.
Lynn: Same here.
Lori: Me too for Golf.
Sky: Awesome!
Dave: Way to go Sky! I didn't see any episodes after I was eliminated but I did catch up yesterday and I was also impressed by your act.
Nico: We all were.
Sky: Thanks Dave! (The two of them share a kiss) So why did you tell me this now Misty?
Misty: Hmm, oh sorry but the doctor says I have to end the call here so I can get some more rest. But to answer your question, I thought it would be the perfect way to say this; Happy Birthday Sis!
Sky: (Surprised) That's right, I was so busy with what's been going on that I forgot that my birthday was coming up, and it's today. Thanks for the present Sis.
Misty: You're welcome! See you when I get home. (She hangs up)
Trent: Congratulations Sky! Sorry we didn't get you anything or planned a party for you.
Sky: That's OK, meeting you all is good enough for a present and this special is good enough for a party. These challenges are like my party games.
Me: I'm glad Sky.
Bridgette: Well we'll get back to the challenges in a minute but first I like Geoff to announce his second favorite segment.
Geoff: (Excited) Oh yeah, it's time for a little something called (looks at a note) "Truth or Flyswatter!"
(A blindfolded statue shows up on screen. It is then swatted out of frame as a flyswatter knocks it off its base.)
Trent: OK, we will ask some of you guys a few questions and then we will get on with the next challenge. Since we are talking to Sky, she will go first. (Sky looks nervous) Don't worry, just tell the truth and you will be fine. Your question is "Did you ever think that you would be able to save your sister in time?"
Sky: Well I knew I had to win the money to save her but honestly, I didn't think I would make it. Also, it might look like that I was brave throughout the whole season, but the truth is that I was very scared.
(Everyone waited but nothing happened)
Gwen: Wow, you were scared this whole time.
Sky: From the second I left my home. Not only could I lose the only family I have left, I could have been spending my life on the streets since I didn't have a job due to all my school work and my time working out at the local gym.
Dave: Well Misty did say that if she didn't make it, Scarlett would take you in.
Sky: You're right, what Harold said was true; she and I were so close that we were like sisters. That's why I sometimes focus on her more than the challenges.
Scarlett: (Over loudspeaker) And I would have happily take you in.
Sammy: And if Scarlett didn't return, Jasmine and I could have adopted you too. There was enough for the both of us to be adopted. You could have also worked with us.
Sky: Thanks Sammy! I would've liked that very much. (They share a hug)
Me: Aww.
Lori: So adorable.
Carol: Yeah.
Maria: So cute.
Bridgette: Awe, good for you Sky. Now it's Dave's turn. Dave, after you quit due to a broken heart, "Did you ever think that leaving Sky was a mistake?"
Dave: Actually, my anger for her never left until I saw her second audition tape. I never cared about her since I quit.
(Nothing happens)
Noah: And I'm guessing that all that anger went towards Billy after he exposed her ultimate secret.
Dave: Yep, and Gwen, you forgot the black eye and missing tooth on the statue.
Gwen: Well I wanted to keep it damage free for this event, but you can add that in when you win one of these challenges.
Dave: Oh I plan to.
Me: What a dirtbag.
Trent: Sammy, Did you ever try to reform your mother and sister?
Sammy: I tried to even when my dad was still alive but I just gave up. They will never change at all.
(Nothing happens)
Amy: And you are right; we'll never give runts like you any love.
Lincoln: Shut your trap Amy!
Cody: (Angry) Hey, stop calling Sammy a runt or a pig. If anyone in your family is a pig; it's you.
Amy: (Outraged) WHAT! WHY YOU!
POW!
Lincoln punched her in the face!
Lincoln: You have no love for anyone but yourself Amy!
Earth: You tell her Linky!
Jo: You tell her dweebs!
Cody: I'll take that as a compliment.
Lincoln: Me too.
Bridgette: Well Amy, if that's how you really feel about Sammy, than how about this? "Are you really nothing without her?"
Amy: Are you kidding me? I don't need her. Everyone says I'm the best.
SLAP! SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP!
(The flyswatter comes down and starts beating Amy over and over again)
Topher: (Laughs) So Sammy IS better than you. You just scare everyone into saying that you are better. I didn't know what I was thinking this season. She is amazing!
Sammy: Awe! (She gives Topher a hug)
Me: Fuck you Amy.
Sierra: Ooh, looks like we could have another couple before the show is over.
Me: We sure do Sierra.
Trent: OK, one more question and we're done.
Dave: Oh, can I ask one?
Trent: I guess so.
Dave: Sky, sorry that you have to see me do this. (Turns to Leonard) Leonard, "Are you a real Wizard?"
Leonard: (Annoyed) Again! I already told you that I AM a real Wizard.
Sugar: (Muffles) He's right!
(One flyswatter smashes Leonard before a second one smashes Sugar)
Me: I did help him improve his magic.
Dave: I know I turned into Billy for a sec there, but it was worth it to see the FAKE Wizard get swatted, and I didn't expect Sugar to get swatted too.
Me: Me neither.
Brick: Guess even Leonard thinks he's not a real Wizard.
Leonard: But I am! (The flyswatter hits him again)
Geoff: And that is why I will never act like Billy again during a talk show. I won't, I won't do it.
Me: Good for you Geoff.
Bridgette: I know. OK, time for the next challenge. (Trent spins the wheel. It lands on Courtney.) Courtney, you're up my friend.
Courtney: Sweet! OK, (pulls out a script) I have here the script for the ORIGINAL challenge that takes place on the night of the merge. So I want Sky, Dave, Max, Shawn, Jasmine, Sugar, and Scarlett; if she wants to.
Scarlett: (On the monitor) If it involves food then yes. I need a lunch break. Harold can manage without me for a few minutes.
Courtney: Great! Instead of a torture challenge, Billy originally wanted you guys to drink a milkshake made out of warm mayonnaise and rotten meat that expired in 1976.
Me: YUCK!
Lana: Cool!
Courtney: He called them "Juggy Chugs". (Everyone gasps) Then he wanted you guys to play hide and go seek while having food poisoning. (Everyone looks nervous) But for my challenge, there will be no hide and seek and you have to drink REAL milkshakes. (Everyone cheers)
Me: Awesome!
(The stage is set to look like a fancy restaurant. The contestants take their seats as Chef delivers their shakes.)
Courtney: OK, the first one to finish their shake wins. If you get brain freeze, you are out.
Me: Boy this is a piece of cake.
Scott: So you chose a challenge based on your demise from All Stars.
Courtney: (Annoyed) Shut it!
Celica punched Scott in the nose.
Scarlett: Can I get a spoon or a straw? I just want to eat this at my own pace. Food challenges aren't my thing.
Courtney: (Gives her a straw) No problem. Everyone else, start chugging.
I drank my whole shake and it was tasty!
Me: Yummy! Chocolate banana flavor.
(Max is the first to chug down, then Jasmine, then Shawn, and then Dave. Scarlett just drinks hers at her own pace. Sky holds her nose so that none of her milkshake goes up it. She starts chugging as ice cream slushes all over her dress.)
Max: (Holds his head) AH, BRAIN FREEZE, I GIVE! (Sugar laughs) At least I'm not going to finish last. You can't even get the thing in your mouth. (Sugar looks annoyed)
Jasmine: OOH, my brain hurts.
Shawn: Mine too. At least it's from the ice cream and not from any invading zombies.
Jasmine: Maybe we could use this to stop the zombies; give them brain freeze and watch their heads explode I mean.
Shawn: Unless they're mindless, that could work.
Courtney: Now it is just down to Dave and Sky. Who will win?
(Dave looks at the statue and forces the rest of his shake down his throat. He shakes his empty glass upside down.)
Dave: Done!
Sky: (Finishing hers) Done!
Max: Ooh Dave beat Sky. I bet she's going to get angry over her loss.
Sky: Nope, I'm proud of him. Congratulations Dave!
Me: Way to go Dave.
Dave: Thanks Sky. Thanks J.D. Now that I am done; (He holds his head and screams) AH!
Courtney: He got brain freeze but he did finish before that so he does win.
Me: Way to go!
Dave: (Weakly) Yes! (He looks at Sky and giggles) Guess you are a messy eater.
Sky: (Looks at her ice cream covered dress) What can I say? I love ice cream! I just wish I had some blueberries to go with it.
Me: That's okay.
(They start laughing until Sky lets out a huge burp. She covers her mouth before everyone, including her, begins to crack up.)
Me: Nice one!
Hunter: Wunderbar!
Owen: Way to go Sky! (He stands up and salutes) I salute to you for being an excellent belcher. (He then accidentally lets out a huge long fart. He looks stupefied.)
Lana: Nice one Owen!
Lynn: Cool!
Me: (Laughs) Good one buddy!
Trent: (Annoyed) You're kidding me right; with everyone around you? Chef, please take him away until there is no more gas in him.
(Chef grabs Owen and begins to take him away)
Owen: Sorry, it was the beans I ate before the show.
Me: Welcome to my world buddy.
(The stage is reset to its original state. Owen is brought back and Sky is all cleaned up. Scarlett is backstage again.)
Bridgette: So Dave, we already know what you plan to do to the statue.
Dave: That's right! (He paints a black eye over the statues right eye and a missing tooth) Perfect!
Me: Awesome job man!
(Pans out to Billy who just looks annoyed. Cuts back to the stage.)
Trent: Alright, whose challenge is next? (He spins the wheel and it lands on Zoey) Zoey!
Zoey: OK, I want everyone to come outside.
(Cuts to outside the studio)
Zoey: Remember the Doom Balloon challenge? (Everyone looks annoyed)
Me: How can I forget that one.
Zoey: Well you will be doing it again, only this time all of the balloons will be filled with paint.
Topher: Phew, that's not that bad.
Zoey: No it's not. (Holds up a coin) However, only the guys or the girls will be using balloons. The others will be using paintball guns instead. (Everyone looks excited) When I flip this coin, whoever calls it will use the paintball guns. (She flips the coin)
Total Drama Guys: Heads!
Total Drama Girls: Tails!
(The coin lands)
Zoey: Heads, guys get the guns!
Me: (Cocks blaster) Lets get them!
(The guys cheer as Chef gives them the guns. The girls moan as he gives them each 3 balloons.)
Zoey: Okay, it's everyone for themselves now. You all get one minute to hide around the back lot. Whoever is left standing wins the challenge. Ready? GO!
(Everyone starts running. Cuts to Leonard and Sugar.)
Leonard: With my magic wizard powers we cannot lose.
Dave: (Off-screen) Hey you!
Leonard: (Surprised) What? (He is shot with paintball bullets while Sugar is pelted with balloons)
SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT!
Sky: Yes, we got them. (She and Dave high five until Sky gets hit in the back and the back of her head with a balloon. They turn around and find Amy with one balloon left.)
Amy: Sky down, Samey to go!
Dave: (Angry) That's two times that you will pay for insulting Sky. Anyone close by that can help me take Amy down?
Me: Count me in!
(Beardo and Topher show up)
Dave: Shoot Her! (They start shooting at her but she manages to dodge every shot) SHOOT HER! (She keeps dodging and manages to escapes) Dang it! Beardo, follow me. Topher, even though Sky is out, keep her safe in case Amy does something even worse.
Topher: Got it!
(Just as Dave and Beardo leave, Topher hears Amy behind him. He turns around and takes his shot; only to find out that he accidentally shot Sammy.)
Topher: (Worried) Sammy, I'm so sorry! I thought you were Amy.
Sammy: It's OK!
Me: She has blue hair to tell them apart.
Topher: Oh right. But no it's not. I don't want to hurt the girl that I…
(He covers his mouth before he can finish his sentence. Sammy smiles at him romantically before he smiles back. They lean in closer and they share a kiss.)
Me: Aww. So romantic!
Lori: Literally adorable!
Sky: (Wipes away a tear) I'm so proud of you both.
(Cuts to Ella dancing around the back lot while humming until Max shoots her with paint)
Max: Ha, should've been quieter. No one can defeat me! (He laughs evilly until he is pelted with a balloon) Who do this, WHO?
(Shawn and Jasmine high five from behind a cardboard car.)
Me: Nice shot you two.
Rodney shows up.
Rodney: Are you OK Ella?
Ella: Yes I am. (She places her hand on his arm)
(Rodney's eyes glitter as Ella appears in his love frame. Ella's eyes glitter as Rodney appears in her love frame dressed like a prince. They stare at each other so much that Rodney doesn't notice that Shawn shoots him with paint.)
(Cuts to Dave and Beardo)
Dave: Amy is around here somewhere. (He then spots her about to pelt Sammy)
Amy: I don't care if you are already out, you are going down. (She throws her last balloon at her but Topher jumps in front of her and takes the shot)
Me: Whoa!
Sammy: (Shocked) Topher, are you OK?
Topher: Yeah, just returning the favor.
Me: The True Hero shot-taking trick. Way to go Topher!
(They smile at each other before they hug. Amy growls.)
Dave: Gotcha! (Looks at Beardo) Hey, how about a little video game hunting music?
Beardo: (The music to Duck Hunt from the start menu)
Dave: Perfect!
(Dave and Beardo begin to shoot at Amy while Beardo plays the opening music to Duck Hunt. Amy gets shot in multiple places.)
SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT SPLAT!
Amy: Aw, eh, ouch, YEOW!
Nico: Amy, you have failed this world!
Nico fired a blast of ink and paint and drenched Amy.
Beardo: (The music when the dog holds up a duck)
Dave: Thanks for the help. Here is your reward for helping me. (He shoots a paintball at Beardo)
Beardo: (Faints, the sound when a duck gets shot and falls from the sky)
Dave: Like I said, game over.
Me: Nice one guys. Take that Amy, you bitch.
Shawn: (Annoyed) Oh that was nice; betraying someone that was helping you out.
Me: It was clever though.
Dave: I still don't like him but I needed the help in order to get revenge on Amy. And now that I have, I don't care what happens next. If I must pay, you can go ahead and shoot me. Don't worry; I'm not afraid to get dirty anymore. (Shawn shoots him) Thanks!
(Jasmine arrives)
Jasmine: Well Shawn, it's just you and me now.
Shawn: But I don't want to shoot you. I don't want another episode like the one we had back on the island.
Jasmine: Hmm, maybe Zoey can give us a tie.
Zoey: (Over loudspeaker) If that's what you want then that's OK. Shawn and Jasmine win!
We cheered for them.
(Shawn and Jasmine cheer. Cuts back to the stage. Everyone is cleaned up.)
Zoey: What do you plan to do to the statue?
Shawn/Jasmine: (Holding up their paintball guns and balloons) This! (They shoot and pelt the Billy statue)
(Cuts to Billy looking both angry and shocked)
Billy: Are these kids trying to kill me? (All the passengers look at him funny) Well they are.
(Cuts back to the stage)
Me: I have something to add.
I went up to the statue and wrote on his shirt "Billy is a fucked up fuckmouth lunatic." And I put on his forehead "Billy's mother is a whore." Top that you fucking lunatic.
Nico: Nice one!
Cut's to Billy looked at the state and he was boiling pissed!
Billy: NO ONE TALKS THAT WAY TO ME! I WILL KILL THEM ALL!
Cuts back to the stage.
Trent: So, who's up next? (He spins the wheel and it lands on Gwen) Gwen!
Gwen: Yes! Well as you all know from the World Tour song "Before I Die", I've always wanted to become a prom destroyer. (Annoyed) Sadly I never got the chance to. So to fill the void, all of our new friends will get the chance to destroy a prom setup that was made by our own Katie and Sadie.
Me: Ooh!
Katie: And we're still a little upset that all our hard work is going to be destroyed soon.
Sadie: That's why I took a photo of our work so that we can remember how to build it again.
Katie: Oh my gosh Sadie, thank you so much. (They both squeal)
Me: Good thinking you two.
Duncan: (Annoyed squeal) Whatever!
Me: Duncan!
(The stage is set up to look like a school prom)
Me: Wow! You two did a great job.
Sadie: Thanks J.D.
Katie: It's a work of art.
Gwen: OK, whoever causes the most damage wins. Oh, and remember, have fun.
Me: You know how good we are at blowing stuff apart.
Nico: This is gonna be awesome!
Lincoln: Yeah!
Gwen: GO!
(Everyone but Amy and Sugar runs onto the set. We were smashing and destroying stuff left and right. Rodney starts breaking some tables while Max starts beating a stereo with his crutch.)m
Rodney: I'M GONNA WRECK IT!
Amy: (Annoyed) What are you all doing?
(Jasmine starts throwing chairs while Shawn starts ripping down banners)
Amy: (Angry) Stop what you are doing!
I fired energy blasts and blew parts of the tables apart in fiery explosions.
Lincoln fired lightning blasts and blew the plates apart.
(Sky starts popping balloons while Dave throws food at the walls)
Amy: (Outraged) This is almost the worst prom I've ever attended!
Me: Tell it to your mama Amy!
Sammy: This is? (She looks devious) I think I know how this could be the worst.
Amy: How?
Sammy: Everyone starts noticing me and forgetting that you exist.
Amy: Argh!
Sammy: Me becoming the prom queen.
Amy: (Angry) No!
Sammy: Oh yeah, and your date dumps you for me.
(Amy growls and begins to lose it. She smashes the rest of the tables and stereos. She throws the rest of the chairs and rips down the rest of the banners. She pops the rest of the balloons in her grasp and throws the rest of the food everywhere.)
(Cuts to Billy)
Billy: (Laughs) Okay, this is fun to watch.
(Cuts back to Amy who picks up the food table and throws it into the wall, she cuts down the disco ball, and she picks up one of the busted stereos and slams it over the statues head.)
(Cuts to Billy)
Billy: (Annoyed) And now it's not fun!
(Cuts back to Amy who breathes heavily before Chef knocks her out with a tranquilizer dart)
POINK!
Chef: Night night crazy girl. (He seats her back in the bleachers)
Me: Nice shot Chef.
Chef Hatchet: Thanks.
Bridgette: Wow, Amy destroyed part of the statue before she was declared the winner. Now I'm really glad that Sammy isn't living with her.
Me: Me too.
Nico: Same here.
Hunter: Ja.
Axel Adell: (Swedish Accent) Same with me.
Gwen: I'm actually a little jealous that she was able to cause more damage than I could in my dreams.
Heather: More like ever at all.
Gwen: (Annoyed) What do you mean by that?
Heather: Samey said that the old girly you is still in you. Well she's right, because I have here (holds up a DVD) a video that I recorded of her before we left for All Stars. Turns out she has a secret too.
Me: Oh she wouldn't!
Gwen: You wouldn't dare!
Lori: If you show that tape I will literally turn you into a human pretzel!
Heather: Oh I will and don't stop me!
(She throws the DVD into the player and it starts playing. It shows Gwen opening up her closet. She looks around carefully before kneeling down in front of a big box. She opens it and pulls out a giant plush unicorn and gives it a hug as it squeaks. Everyone begins to crack up while Gwen looks embarrassed.)
Courtney: Is that the same unicorn that you were riding in your dream back in All Stars?
Me: I remember seeing that.
Gwen: It was a gift from my dad before he died.
Me: Aww.
Sammy: (Surprised) You and I are the same. I'm so sorry.
Gwen: It's alright! Before I auditioned I was considering throwing it away but I couldn't because of my dad, and now…
Trent: And now?
Gwen: because of you.
Trent: (Surprised) Me?
Gwen: You helped me show off the fun side of me that I have forgotten years ago. As time went on, I remembered how happy I was to be girly. Don't get me wrong, I still like dark and scary stuff, but sometimes I just want to think about the lighter side of things.
Trent: (Amazed) Wow, it was me that restored the old you.
Gwen: In a way, yes.
(Trent and Gwen stare at each other before they move closer to one another and kiss)
Courtney: Awe, that's so sweet.
Me: It sure is.
Gwen: Also I have news. A new season of the Ridonculous Race is coming on soon.
Cody: What the heck is that?
Bridgette: I think I've got your answer right here.
(A man named Don appears on the monitor)
Don: It is a race around the world where 18 teams of two compete for a shot at one million dollars. Think of it as World Tour; but done right. (He then notices Topher) Hey son!
Topher: Hey Dad!
Jasmine: Well, now we know where you get your talent from.
Don: Don't worry about him or me. We are not like Billy. We care for our competitors and would never get in the way of their own lives.
Dave: That's good to hear.
Me: Hey Don. Good to see you again.
Don: Same to you J.D. Looking good.
Me: Thanks.
Don: I'm here to ask if some of you guys want to compete. We have 6 spots left. This isn't a continuation of Total Drama. This is a spin-off series.
Gwen: I'm not taking any chances.
Courtney: Same here.
Me: You know I will compete. Nico would you like to compete?
Nico: Sorry I think I've had enough of these shows.
Zarya: I will compete with you J.D.
Me: Awesome! Thanks Zarya.
Owen: (Excited) Oh, I want to compete (holds Noah tightly) and so does my little buddy.
Noah: (Weakly) I will, if you promise to let me go.
Owen: (Releases him) Sorry!
Don: Okay, 2 teams team down, four to go! Anyone else?
Lynn: Lightning, how about you and I participate?
Lightning: Oh you know Lightning will be there Lynn! She-bam!
Lynn: Yeah! Me and Lightning can come.
Naruto: How about me and Sakura too?
Sakura Haruno: I would love it Naruto!
Naruto: Yeah!
Me: Awesome bro!
Don: That's four spots filled.
Geoff: Bridgette, want to give it a shot with me for old time sake?
Bridgette: Sorry Geoff, but I'm going to surf the waves of Australia soon. (Looks at Jasmine and Sammy) Maybe I could teach you guys while I'm there.
Jasmine: Sounds good.
Sammy: Me too.
Me: Awesome!
Geoff: That's OK; I'll get my buddy Brody to come along. He always wanted to compete with me.
Don: Great, only one spot left. Sky, do you want to compete with your sister?
Sky: Sorry, but I want to take some time off and spend it with Misty, Scarlett, and Dave.
Leonard: Oh, I want to compete, and I'll ask my friend Tammy if she wants to. She's a Viking; and a beautiful one too.
Don: Alright, now there are no more spots. I'll see you all in one month. Don out! Bye son!
Topher: Bye Dad!
Don: Looking forward to having you race again J.D.
Me: You know I can't pass up a good challenge.
Don: Yep. See you then. (The monitor turns off) Hey Bridgette, mind if I take us to another commercial?
Bridgette: Go right ahead.
Topher: What other challenges are in store for us? What more will we learned about Sammy's dad? And what are Scarlett and Harold working on? Find out when the Total Drama Pahkitew Island Aftermath special returns.
Sammy: You are so much better at hosting than Billy.
Topher: I know!
Me: I agree man.
(The D pops in and out of the title)
(Commercial Break)
(The title pops up and the D pops in and out of the title. Cameron is nowhere in sight.)
Trent: And we are back. During the break we got to know a little bit more about The Ridonculous Race.
Lindsay: (Holding a laptop) Oh my gosh Beth, look at all the amazing places that they'll be going. For example; New York, France, Dubai, (gasps) even Las Vegas.
Beth: They are so going to have a good time traveling the world.
Me: We know the planet like the backs of our hands. This'll be a cinch.
Mike: (Holding a laptop) And look at all the people that are competing. For example, Emma and Kitty; The Sisters, Tom and Jen; The Fashion Bloggers, even Ryan and Stephanie; The Daters.
Me: Wow! This is gonna be awesome!
Sky: (Holding a laptop) That is so cool! I'm watching an Olympic ice skating performance by two of the competitors; Jacques and Josee. (Cringes) Ooh, he just dropped her and took silver. Jacques doesn't look too happy about what happened.
Me: Looks like Jacque and Josee are in there as well. Oh shit.
Nico: Yep.
Courtney: (Holding a laptop, a bit annoyed) I don't believe it! There's this girl named Ellody who looks and sounds like me; only she's a science genius. And she is with a female-like Harold named Mary.
Harold: (Over loudspeaker) Watch it; she's my cousin. As well as a vegan named Miles who is competing with her friend Laurie.
Me: Wow! I know them.
Duncan: (Holding a laptop, annoyed) That's nothing! I'm looking at Gwen's new friends; Crimson and Ennui, and I do not look like him. But the girl does look like Amy.
Amy: (Waking up after her shot) Hey!
We laughed!
Topher: (Holding a laptop, laughing) Remember what I said about Billy being old? Well there's this retired tennis player named Pete that looks like him 30 years from now. Here's competing with his friend and rival Gerry.
We laughed.
Nico: Nice burn Topher.
Brick: (Holding a laptop, amazed) Man, there are so many contestants; Dwayne and Junior - Father and Son, Kelly and Taylor - Mother and Daughter, Rock and Spud - Rockers, Jay and Mickey - Adversity Twins, Chet and Lorenzo - Step Brothers, there are even two police cadets named Sanders and McArthur. I hope they don't break a few laws in order to win.
Me: I know all these players. Looks like you guys are gonna see us in action when we race around the world.
Lori: Yep. That's right. You beat Josee and Jacques in the Ridonculous Race years ago.
Me: Yep.
Jo: Yeah, but I don't get why this Junior kid looks like Justin Bieber.
Geoff: And this Mother and Daughter team looks like the exact opposite of Bridgette and her mother. Taylor is spoiled-rotten and her mother just wants to look young and cool. Bridgette and her mother are both kind and are both family and best friends.
Me: That's right.
Bridgette: Aw thanks Geoff! So far my favorite team is The Best Friends - Devin and Carrie. She sounds like me and she has a secret crush on Devin. That is so sweet!
Me: Yep.
Trent: Well we might not be interviewing them, but we will watch and root for our favorite teams. I know I'm gonna be rooting for you and Zarya, J.D.
Me: Thanks Trent.
Bridgette: Right you are Trent. Now, Cameron went backstage to help Scarlett and Harold out because they are now unsure if they can finish their machine in time by themselves. Hopefully we'll see it soon.
Trent: Well in the meantime, how about another challenge? (He spins the wheel and it lands on Harold) OK, since Harold is too busy with the machine, I will host this challenge. (Holds up a note card) This is for everyone. Your challenge is to make something really cool out of LEGO bricks.
Me: Ooh! I love Legos!
Sky: (Shocked) WHAT, but I told you all; I'm NO GOOD AT BUILDING THINGS!
Dave: Don't worry Sky; I know you're a great builder deep down. You just don't know it yet.
Sky: Thanks Dave! (Places her hand on Dave's)
(A huge row of tables are set side by side with a pile of LEGO bricks in front of each contestant)
Trent: Your job is to build whatever you want within 30 minutes. When time is up, I will contact Harold and he will judge each of your creations. The one he likes the most wins. Ready, start building!
Leonard: (Waving his wand) "BUILDACUS SOMETHING AWESOMECUS"! (Nothing happens. He just slumps sadly.)
(Ella hums to herself while building something with nothing but pink and red bricks. Topher digs around for some yellow and brown bricks. Jasmine and Shawn work busily on their creations while Sugar just sat there and moaned.)
I built a huge replica of the U.S.S. Iowa Battleship.
Amy: I'm not building with these things. This is nothing but a kid's toy.
Sammy: Actually LEGO is a building toy for all ages. I've seen some adults make some amazing MOCs with these bricks.
Me: Yeah!
Dave: She's right! Those guys got some amazing building talent.
(Sky scratches her head while she thinks about what she wants to build. She looks around and discovers what she wants to build.)
Beardo: (LEGO building sound effects from all those LEGO games)
Rodney: (Upset) Uh, I don't know what I want to build out of all these pieces.
Max: (Face palms over and over) I… can't… do… it. This… is… too… hard. (He swats his pile everywhere and drops his face onto the table)
(Cuts to the "Time's Up" mark)
Trent: Times up! Time to see which one of you guys won. (He turns the monitor on to contact Harold) Harold, we're ready!
Harold: I'll be right there. (The monitor turns off and he walks onstage) Let's see what we got here. (He sees that Leonard hasn't built anything at all) Next time, build with your hands.
Leonard: (Annoyed) Wizards never use their hands for building.
Harold: Whatever! (He walks over to Ella)
Ella: I made a giant pink heart with tiny red hearts in the inside.
Harold: Nice! (He walks over to Topher)
Topher: I give you (holds up his creation) "The Gilded Topher"; made out of LEGO's that is. This one's for you.
Harold: (Takes the model) Thanks! You do know that the directors of "The LEGO Movie" made their own Oscar when the movie wasn't nominated.
Topher: (Annoyed) Yes, and it should have.
Harold: Lets see what you made J.D.
Me: I made a 1/16th scale replica of the U.S.S. Iowa.
The camera showed a big battleship made entirely of legos.
Harold: WHOA! That is so awesome!
Me: It's my dads favorite battleship in the United States Navy.
Harold: That is so cool!
(Harold walks over to Jasmine)
Jasmine: I did my best to recreate the Sydney Opera House.
Harold: (Amazed) Impressive, very impressive indeed! (He walks over to Shawn)
Shawn: I made a little something I like to call (holds up a massive LEGO-made gun) "The Zombie Buster 5000".
Harold: WOW, very well detailed.
Shawn: Thanks!
(Harold walks over to Sugar and Amy; but passes them since they didn't build anything. He then walks over to Sammy.)
Sammy: I made a LEGO version of my Blue Teddy Bear.
Harold: Cute! It almost looks exactly like it. (He walks over to Dave)
Dave: I built a block art version of Billy.
(Cuts to Billy; who flight is about to land)
Billy: Not bad, but I've seen better. J.D. has some neat talent though. Really creative. Besides, (annoyed) I know what he's going to do with it.
(Cuts back to Harold and Dave)
Harold: Why would you want to build a model of someone that we all hate?
Dave: So you can all see me do this. (He punches the model to pieces)
(Cuts back to Billy)
Billy: Yep, knew it!
(Cuts back to Harold and Dave)
Harold: (Chuckles) Okay, that was so worth it.
Me: Try topping this.
I pulled out a remote control and the Lego battleship fired cannons at the model arms of Billy and blew them to dust.
BANG! KABOOM!
Nico: WHOA!
Cuts back to Billy.
Billy: Okay that was cool! But he's getting it too!
Cuts back to the stage.
Harold: That was awesome!
Dave: And so well worth the loss in this challenge.
(Harold walks over to Sky; who looks a little nervous with her model covered up)
Harold: What do you got there underneath that sheet?
Sky: Oh, nothing special. (She removes the sheet. Everyone is amazed.) I just made a miniature replica of this studio with the host couch, the bleachers, and a little bit of everyone made of 1 by 1 bricks matching the colors of our shirts and a 1 by 1 tile piece for each of our hair.
Me: Very creative.
Amy: That has got to be the worst model I have ever…
Sammy: Oh, look at Harold. (Giggles)
Amy: What!
Harold: (Touched) This is one of the best models I have ever seen. Are you sure you've never built with LEGO's before?
Sky: Nope!
Me: Not bad for a first time.
Harold: Well, for you first time, this is beautiful! You need to keep this on a shelf as a reminder that you CAN build things.
Sky: Thanks! (They fist bump)
(Harold walks over to Beardo)
Harold: Headphones huh.
(Beardo places them over his ears, but it ends up falling apart)
Harold: What a shame. It was a nice model too. OK, Rodney…
Max: Don't bother, he and I didn't build anything either.
Harold: Well I think I know who the winners are. (He walks over to Sky and me and raises our arm) Sky and J.D.! (Everyone cheers for both of us. Sky smiles with tears of joy.) So, what do plan to build next?
Sky: I know! (She builds a replica of the Shock Collars from Episode 4 around the statues neck) If we had some electricity we could make him, eh it, feel our pain. I know it's not that humiliating.
Courtney: Are you kidding me, I can see him now getting 200 volts coursing through that thick skull of his.
Lincoln: I can see him screaming with over 5 billion volts of electricity.
Sky: That's so mean, (devious) but somehow it feels so right.
Me: Oh yeah.
(Everyone laughs. Cuts to Billy exiting the airport terminal.)
Billy: (Angry) Not long now, soon you will all pay; (gets into a taxi) PAY!
Taxi Driver: Pay me when we get there.
Billy: Not you!
(Cuts back to the stage)
Bridgette: OK, how about the next challenge?
Max: (Annoyed) Oh no! I want to know more about Samey's father right now. (He snatches the DVD out of Sammy's hands and slips it into the monitor)
Sammy: (Shocked) Hey!
Me: You give that back Max!
(The monitor turns on; revealing her father (Hank Jones) lying on his hospital bed)
Hank: (Weakly) Sammy, I'm sorry that I have to leave you with your horrid sister and mother. If only I had stayed out of the way, I would've been home with you right now.
(Everyone, including Sammy, gets emotional over this)
Hank: I wanted to get home as quickly as possible so I could tell you that I was going to divorce your mother and take you with me. We could be happy together and we would never have to be with such awful people again.
(Sammy chokes up at what he just said)
Hank: Sammy sweetie, I'm sorry I failed you. I just hope that you will still have a bright future ahead of you; and find someone that can care and love you as much as I do. Goodbye! (He starts humming a familiar tune that he and Sammy use to sing together before he passes away on-screen. The monitor turns off.)
Me: Whoa! He was dying from cancer.
Vypra: Poor guy.
Bridgette: (Worried) Sammy, how did you're mother become so cruel to you?
Me: That's what I want to know.
Sammy: She wasn't always like that. There was a time when she did love me. But the stress of raising twins got the better of her after we turned 3. She got so stressed out that she started drinking and that's when she started to act so mean to me. She didn't do it to Amy because she's the older twin; which is why she enjoys causing me misery anyway. And at that moment, the only one that ever showed me any real love 24/7 was my dad.
(Sammy looks down sadly until Jasmine holds her chin up and wipes away her tears. Sammy smiles at her and they share another hug.)
Dawn: (Heart-broken) Wow, I've never seen anyone die right before my eyes. And I have never heard anything so heart-breaking before. My own aura is crying over what I just saw and heard.
Me: Very heart-wrenching.
Brick: (Comforting her) There there Dawn, At least Sammy has a better life now; the one her father always wanted.
Dawn: You're right Brick, thanks! (They stare at each other and also share a hug)
Zoey: (To Mike) Looks like another couple is born.
Me: Yep.
Mike: Yeah, this special really is bringing almost everyone closer together. It's the perfect way to end the series.
Trent: Right you are Mike! So, how about the next challenge? (He spins the wheel and it lands on a question mark) OK, which one of our new friends wants to challenge us next?
Ella: (Gasps excitedly) Me me, I want to host a singing competition. I will also be one of the 3 judges. Who wants to judge with me?
Justin: I will!
Anne Maria: I will!
Ella: OK, who wants to sing?
Bridgette/Trent: We will.
Amy: I will because I'm the best singer in this family.
Sammy: I do know one song. My dad was humming it just before he passed away.
Lightning: Lightning will give it a shot.
Ella: OK, everyone get ready for the show. You don't have to get dressed up just practice the song you want to sing. You also don't have to sing the whole song; just the first part is good enough.
(The stage is set to look like the one from Episode 12. Ella, Anne Maria, and Justin are in the judges' seat.)
Justin: Hopefully we will be moved by their songs.
Me: We will.
Anne Maria: Hope so, because I have yet to find a singer that can bring me to tears.
Ella: Oh, Trent and Bridgette are up first.
(Trent (with his guitar), Geoff and Bridgette walk onto the stage)
Geoff: We will be singing the song that brought us together over 2 years ago.
Bridgette: We hope that you will all enjoy it; again.
Trent: I'll play my guitar for them.
(They begin to sing while Trent plays his gutar)
Geoff: "Your hair is as bright as the sun,
Your clothes are as blue as the sea and sky,
Watching you surf is a lot of fun,
Especially when I see you fly."
Bridgette: "You've got a special gift for music,
I see it when you play your guitar,
Your songs get better with every lyric,
Your special talent will always raise the bar."
Both: "When I look into your green eyes,
I reach out for your hands to hold,
We'll be together for the rest of our lives,
With a pair of hearts as pure as gold."
(Everyone stands up and cheers. Gwen and Geoff get emotional.)
Me: Awesome job guys!
Gwen: That was so beautiful! I wish I was there when they first sang this instead of being on Wawanakwa.
Geoff: It is even better the second time.
Ella: Amazing, you two have set the bar really high; just like the song said.
Justin: This song was truly meant for you two.
Anne Maria: Although I didn't get emotional over this, I still think it was great.
Ella: OK judges, what's the score?
(Ella and Justin give them a 9 and Anne Maria gives them an 8. Geoff and Bridgette cheer, hug, and kiss.)
Ella: Awe, the prince and his princess sharing a kiss. So beautiful! OK, who's next?
Lightning: (Running onto the stage) Lightning's next! Sha-Whaaaa! (He runs too fast, trips, and falls off the stage. He hits the ground so hard that he is knocked unconscious. He is then taken away by Chef.)
Anne Maria: (Shrugs) He wasn't made for singing anyway.
Justin: (A little wired out) OK, guess we'll move on to our next contestant.
(Amy walks out on stage, clears her throat, and sings)
Amy: (Annoying high-pitched tone) " I'm number one,
(points to Sammy) she's number two.
I am the best,
She is the worst.
I can do anything,
She can't do nothing.
Who needs that thing,
When you've got me."
(Ella, Justin, and Anne Maria (as well as the others) cover their ears. Justin pushes the trap door button and Amy fall into the stage and screams just as the door closes on her.)
Me: BOO!
Amy: Oh no, not the croc. (The croc roars as she screams)
Justin: That was horrible!
Me: I give it a -20.
Ella: Sadly, you are right.
Anne Maria: (Annoyed) Let's just hope that Sammy can sing better.
Me: Yeah.
(Sammy walks out onstage just as Amy returns running out of breath. Sammy begins to sing.)
Sammy: "Picture a land where the sky is so blue,
A story book land of wonder.
A magical island just waiting for you,
Island of Sodor will make you dreams come true."
Amy: (Annoyed) Seriously, you're singing a Thomas song. You are such a big baby.
Ella: (Sniffs) Why did you make her stop singing that wonderful song?
Justin: (Sniffs) She has the voice of an angel.
Anne Maria: (Sniffs) She's the first singer to get me emotional. Keep going!
(Sammy continues singing)
Sammy: "Imagine a place where the sun always smiles,
The valleys are green as can be.
The friends that you love are all waiting for you,
Island of Sodor will make your dreams come true."
(Everyone gets teary eyed at her singing)
Sammy: "Children follow the dream,
To the land of make-believe.
The Island of Sodor,
A magical land where dreams come true."
We cheered wildly.
Ella: (Wiping away her tears) That was the most beautiful song I have ever heard.
Me: It sure was! Way to go Sammy!
Anne Maria: (Wiping her tears away) Here here!
Justin: (Wiping away his tears) Are you a fan of the show?
Sammy: That song was the only thing I knew about the show. I discovered it with my dad one day and we instantly fell in love with it.
Justin: Well, fan of the show or not, you still won us over.
Ella: I think we can all safely say that Sammy is the winner of this challenge.
(Everyone cheers for her. Sammy takes a bow. The stage is set back to its original state.)
Bridgette: So, what do you want to do to the statue?
Sammy: Honestly, I can't do anything mean-spirited after singing that song so I'll have to pass.
Trent: OK Sammy, we understand.
Sammy: Thanks, I just wish that my father could've heard me sing that song one more time.
Me: I know. But you did get closure after the battle with Unicron and you saw your father again.
Sammy: That's true.
Sky: It was nice to meet your dad back then. He is just like you; kind and loving.
Nico: He sure is.
Sammy: Thank Sky, I'm so lucky to have a friend like you. (The two of them share a hug) Hey Trent, is it alright if I spin the wheel this time since I won't do anything to the statue?
Trent: Of course you can.
(Sammy spins the wheel and it lands on the question mark again)
Sammy: Wow, I get to come up with a challenge now.
Amy: (Annoyed) Oh please, if anyone is going to come up with a challenge it should be me.
Sky: Actually I have an idea. (To Bridgette) Could you please replay these two clips from Episode 12?
(Bridgette plays the clips)
Billy: For Sky's challenge, "The 100 meter hurdle dash", you must race to the finish line while jumping over a series of hurdles.
(Cuts to Sky's Confessional)
Sky: I'm actually excited for this because I always come in second place at my school's hurdle relay. And the girl that always beats me isn't here.
(End of Clips)
Me: Hey I remember that one!
LeShawna: So who was that girl that always beats you?
Sky: (Points to Amy) Right here!
Everyone: WHAT!
Me: I remember that!
Cody: You mean to tell us that Amy was the girl that always beats you at hurdle jumping?
Noah: Wait, if you knew Amy back then, then why haven't you met Sammy before?
Amy: (Outburst) Because I always have her standing behind all the other students. I didn't want her to associate with a terrible athlete like Sky. And thanks to this show, she has managed to do just that.
Me: You are really Egomaniacal!
Laney: And then some.
Sammy: If she can beat you at any sport then so can I.
Amy: Is that so? Well, how about you, me, and Sky compete in a hurdle race and we'll see who the better athlete is.
Sammy: IT IS ON!
Lynn: Hey! That's what I say!
Sky: I agree to that.
Bridgette: This is exciting; two cheerleaders and an Olympian in an epic hurdle race.
Me: This is gonna be awesome!
(Cuts to outside the studio where three rows of hurdles are set up)
Tyler: I will referee the race. You know the rules; the first one to jump over all the hurdles and cross the finish line will win.
Sky: And no cheating!
Me: Here we go.
Amy: (Annoyed) Who cares about that? I'm winning this thing either way. (Looks at Sammy) And why did you take your boots off again?
Sammy: It's not safe to jump over hurdles in high heels.
Me: Got to admire Sammy's tactics.
Amy: Well if Sky can win in a ridiculous dress like that than I can win in high heels.
Me: That kind of arrogance will get her killed.
Tyler: Okay easy there girls. Ready, (Sky and Amy glare at each other) get set, (Amy glares at Sammy; who glares back) GO!
(The three girls run towards their first hurdle. They jump the first one successfully and head towards the next one. Just before they get there, Amy trips Sky and jumps the next one.)
Amy: Ha, see you later "Skylar"!
Sky: (Angry) My name is Sky!
Sammy: Here, let me help you up.
Sky: Thanks! (They continue racing)
(Amy jumps over the next two hurdles and laughs evilly)
Amy: Yes, I'm going to win again. Sugar was right; cheaters always win!
(She was so busy gloating that she jumps too late and catches her high heel on the last hurdle and trips; falling flat on her face. Sky and Sammy successfully jump over the last hurdle and they both cross the finish line together.)
Tyler: Sky and Sammy tie for first place and Amy has crashed out.
Me: Way to go!
Sky: Yes, I finally beat her. No, (places her hand on Sammy's shoulder) WE finally beat her.
Me: Way to go girls!
Nico: Yeah!
Sammy: We're number one, we're number one! (They both high five)
Amy: (Groans in pain) Aw, I think I twisted my ankle. I HATE THIS SHOW, AND I HATE SPORTS, AND I HATE BOTH OF YOU!
Their auras flared up with incredible intensity.
(Sammy and Sky just smile and look up. Cuts back to the stage. Amy has her right leg in a cast.)
Trent: So, how will each of you destroy the statue?
Sky: Oh wait, I now realized what I should have done to the statue instead of the LEGO shock collar. Gwen, can I borrow a paintbrush and some black paint? (Gwen gives her the paint and brush. Sky dips the brush in the paint and writes the word "WORTHLESS" on the statue.) Who's worthless now McLean?
Nico: Nice!
Sammy: Good one Sky! As for me, (thinks for a second) does Amy still have that paper bag filled with her vomit?
Topher: Yeah she does. (He gives it to Sammy)
Sammy: Thanks! (She throws the bag at the statues face; covering it in Amy's barf)
SPLAT!
Me: NICE!
Varie: Take that!
(Everyone cracks up. Cuts to Billy stuck in traffic.)
Billy: (Outraged) THAT'S IT! I CAN'T SIT HERE ANYMORE! (He gets out of the taxi and runs towards the studio)
Taxi Driver: (Angry) Hey, what about the toll?
Billy: (Off-screen) Kiss my fucking ass!
(The Taxi Driver growls. Cuts back to the stage.)
Amy: (Angry) I have never been so humiliated in all my life. To lose to both Samey and Sky is ridiculous. I'm supposed to be better at everything than anyone else. Not no one is better than me; not them, not Jasmine, not Chris, not even (points towards something off-screen) those two police men. (Shocked) TWO POLICE MEN!
UH OH!
(The camera pans over to the two officers; who don't look very happy)
Duncan: (Terrified) I CAN'T GO BACK TO JAIL! (He runs off)
Officer 1: Don't worry Duncan, you've already done your time for destroying Billy's house.
Officer 2: We are actually here for Amy.
Sammy: Why are you two here for her?
Zarya: That's what I was wondering.
Officer 1: (Holding up a DVD) We would like you to see this.
(He slips the DVD into the monitor and it plays a clip of Amy and her mother opening Hank's car hood. They start taking some things out of the cars' engine and run off. Everyone gasps.)
Dave: I can't believe it! Those two are the REAL criminals for her father's death.
Me: So they are responsible for killing Sammy's father!
Sammy: (Shocked) Where did you get this?
Officer 1: We caught your mother driving intoxicated and pulled her over. When we searched her car, we found this DVD that someone recorded and she stole it from them to hide the evidence.
Officer 2: All these years we thought that the robber was responsible for Hank Jones' death, but we were wrong. All he wanted to do was to shake him loose. He would never take a life and to this day, he still feels bad about what he has done. He just hopes that you can forgive him.
Sammy: Although he did do something bad, I DO forgive him for that. (Angry) If Amy and her mom had just stayed out of the way, I could have been living with my dad right now. Did they know about the divorce?
Officer 1: That was the reason why they did it, to make sure that you never left so they could keep on torturing you for life. Your ex-mother is already in jail and now your sister is going there too. (To Officer 2) Cuff her!
(Officer 2 puts the handcuffs on Amy's wrist)
Amy: WHAT!
Me: Looks like it's back to the stony lonesome for you Amy.
Officer 2: Oh, and we are taking away all your trophies and ribbons because criminals like you don't deserve them.
Amy: (Outraged and upset) No, not my trophies and ribbons. (She is then dragged away) This can't be happening to me. I'm too pretty to go to jail. I'll never survive. (Starts sobbing) MY LIFE IS RUINED! (She starts crying as she is dragged offstage)
Officer 1: (To Sammy) We will let the robber know that you have forgiven him for what he really didn't do. And we will make sure that all your belongings, and anything you want from Amy's room, are moved to your new home Gotham Royal York.
Sammy: Thanks officer!
(The officer tips his hat and shakes her hand before walking away)
Bridgette: Well, that was unexpected.
Me: Boy it sure was.
Trent: Yeah it was.
Harold: (Over loudspeaker) We're ready!
Trent: Okay everyone, we have just gotten word that the machine is finished. Let's hear it for Harold, Scarlett, and Cameron.
(The audience cheers as Scarlett, Harold, and Cameron push the machine onstage on a huge trolley)
D.J.: (Amazed) Wow, what kind of machine is that?
Me: Wow!
Harold: This my friend is "The De-Mutator"! It can turn anything or anyone that has been mutated from the "Revenge of the Island" season.
Vince: Wow!
Lisa Loud: Very impressive piece of machinery.
Carol: No kidding.
Scott: Cool! Can it turn Fang back into a normal shark?
Cameron: Yes it can, but we don't have him here. And to be honest I don't think the fans want him to be de-mutated.
Me: I agree.
Scott: (Upset) Oh man!
Scarlett: But we do have another test subject. Chef, please bring him in.
(Chef walks onstage with a cage. Inside the cage is a former Total Drama contestant that everyone fears.)
Courtney: (Terrified) Freak Ezekiel! Where did you find him?
Harold: After Scarlett and I de-cloned that evil clone,…
(Cuts to a Flashback)
Harold: (Voice over) we decided to work on a machine to de-mutate him and Dakota. But before we could build it, we had to find him. Luckily we saw the bonus clip about his whereabouts. Turns out he was made king of the mutants on Boney Island. We captured him and brought him here.
(Flashback Ends)
Harold: And now we can turn him back to normal.
Me: Or we could keep him in prison caged like an animal.
Ezekiel: I would like that.
Scarlett: Huh Harold, he got out.
(Everyone screams when they see the busted up cage. Courtney hears a strange breathing sound and looks up. She sees Ezekiel right above her and he jumps down towards her.)
Duncan: COURTNEY LOOK OUT! (He pushes her out of the way and Zeke just runs off to attack someone else)
I kicked Freak Ezekiel in the face and he got up and looked at me with fury.
Courtney: (Surprised) Duncan, you saved my life.
Duncan: Yes, I did didn't I? (He thinks for a second) What was I thinking; you will always be the perfect girl for me. Please give me another chance.
(Courtney holds Duncan face and kisses him)
Courtney: I guess there still is some good in you.
Duncan: (Stunned) Me, good, (chuckles) yeah, I am. (They share another kiss)
(Freak Ezekiel jumps towards Dawn, but Brick knocks him away)
Brick: Sorry I did that, but I couldn't let him hurt you. (Dawn gets tears of joy before they share a kiss)
(Ezekiel then jumps onto Beardo)
Beardo: (Wilhelm Scream)
Me: I know the Wilhelm Scream all too well.
Max: (Beating him with his crutch) Bad dog, bad dog! (Ezekiel then attacks him) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Nico kicked him in the face and Freak Ezekiel then sees Sky and is about to attack her. But Dave jumps in and kicks him back. Dave reaches for Sky's hand and she jumps into his arms. Zeke then spots LeShawna and is about to attack. She is ready to fight back until Harold jumps in.
Harold: (Angry) Get away from her you freak! (He pulls out "The Num-Yo's" and is ready to attack. Zeke however manages to knock him out, but LeShawna grabs him and throws him far away from Harold.)
I punched Zeke in the face and kneed him in the mouth.
Me: You are a fucking freak of nature!
LeShawna: Harold, are you OK?
Harold: (Rubbing his head) Yeah, sorry I got in the way. I just didn't want him to hurt you.
LeShawna: Why?
Harold: Because I still love you.
LeShawna: (Teary eyed, hugs him) I'm sorry that we broke up. I only did what I did back in Season 2 because I was playing "Hard to Get". My crying was fake back then, but now I am for real because of how far you will go just for me.
(Harold wipes her eyes and just smiles. She smiles back and they both share a kiss.)
Harold: Get somewhere safe while I get the machine ready.
LeShawna: Right! (She runs off while he runs back to the machine)
(Zeke then gets up, rubs his head, and spots Izzy who is prepared to attack.)
Izzy: (Pats her knees) Come here Zeke, come and get me.
Owen: That a girl Izzy!
(Ezekiel runs towards her and they start clawing each other. It isn't long until he out-does her. Owen sees this and he jumps in.)
Owen: (Angry) Hey, you 500-year-old possessed freak, leave my Izzy alone!
Me: You tell him Owen!
(Ezekiel starts mauling Owen but he just stays strong. Eva then jumps in and holds him down.)
Eva: Time to finish this monster off once and for all. Nerds, open the door!
Me: Shut up Eva!
(Harold opens the door and Eva throws Zeke into the cage. Owen then turns around to check on Izzy.)
Owen: Izzy, are you OK? Please don't leave me again. (Izzy suddenly wakes up and accidentally kicks him in the groin before giving him a kiss. He chuckles.) I love you too!
Bridgette: OK, now Harold said that the machine was made to de-mutate not only Ezekiel, but to also de-mutate Dakota. What do you say Dakota, ready to turn back into your old self?
Dakota: Well, I…
Sam: NO, PLEASE DON'T TURN BACK! You are awesome just the way you are.
Me: I think she looks cool like this.
Dakota: Awe Sam, that's nice of you to say, but I'm afraid Bridgette is right. It's time for me to turn back into my old self. I don't want to live like this anymore. Besides, being a mutant reminds me too much about Chris and we all want to forget him. And to be honest, I actually like my original human form more than my mutated form. (Sam lowers his head sadly) But don't worry Sam, I still love you. You're an awesome gamer and a great guy.
Sam: (Happy) Thanks babe!
Me: Also Sam, I can give her the ability to transform at will.
Sam: Really?
Me: Sure Sam. It worked for many of our teammates.
Qin: That's right.
John Bolton: Yep.
Trudy Bolton: Yep.
Stacy Bolton: It's true.
Scarlett: Well she'll have to wait a few minutes because the machine needs to warm up again after each use.
Trent: No problem, we'll just perform one final challenge. (He spins the wheel and it lands on the question mark once again) Three times in a row? Impressive! So, who wants the last challenge?
Topher: Actually Trent I have an idea. So that everyone has a chance, why don't we all just do something to the statue. The show is almost over and everyone deserves their shot.
Trent: Great idea Topher! So, everyone think about what you want to do to the statue and come on up.
(Each contestant gets in line. Dakota is first.)
Dakota: (Paints the Chris statues shirt with horizontal stripes) Don't you know that VERTICAL stripes are in? (She laughs)
(Cody walks up next. He plants a time bomb next to the statue and cuts one of the wires and runs.)
Bomb: 3, 2, 1…
KRABBBBBBOOOOOOMMMM!
Spaghetti sauce landed on my face.
Cody: Ha, looks like someone got blasted by the spaghetti sauce bomb.
Me: (Slurps) Really good spaghetti sauce. Just as good as moms.
(Scott is next. He takes Fang's tooth that Mike gave to Alejandro in the All Stars finale and holds it in the statues hand.)
Scott: Next time that shark comes for his tooth he'll be coming for you instead of me.
Me: Nice!
(Lightning then punches the statue in the face, but he screams in pain. Duncan then pushes him away.)
Duncan: Let me show you how to destroy this thing. (He pulls out his knife and cuts the statues nose off. Everyone gasps.) Relax it's just a statue. I would never do that to the real thing.
Me: Good.
(Courtney walks up with her sundae from All Stars)
Courtney: I made an exact replica of my disgusting sundae; with real bird vomit on it. Taste this McLean! (She shoves the bad sundae into the statues mouth)
Me: OOHOOHOOHOOOO! Nice!
Gwen: Nice choice Courtney! (They high five)
Me: Great job Courtney.
Nico: Yeah!
(Heather walks up and chops off the statues hair)
Heather: Not so much fun when it is you who has to have his hair shaved off.
Me: Looked better on you though Heather.
(Shawn walks up)
Shawn: Everyone better back off. (Everyone backs off as Shawn puts his finger to the side of his nose) Snot Rocket Part Three! (He blows snot all over the statue)
Dave: (Disgusted) Ew, that was gross, (amazed) but also AWESOME!
Me: Nice one.
(Max takes another version of his Evil Helmet and places it on the statues head. He then pulls out a remote and pushes it.)
Max: TIME TO EVIL! (The statues head blows up)
KRABBBBBOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!
Scarlett: (Amazed) OK, I'll admit it, that was evil.
Me: But fitting.
Max: (Rubs his knuckles on his shirt) I know! I'm so glad that this one had a self-destruct option.
(Some noose of rope is then thrown over and wrapped around the statue. Everyone is holding onto the ropes.)
Topher: Ready everyone? (Everyone nods) PULL!
We pulled!
(Everyone pulls the statue forward and it smashes into pieces as it hits the ground.
SMASH!
(We all laugh and cheer until they hear a certain someone offstage.)
?: THAT IS ENOUGH!
UH OH!
(Everyone looks to the right of the stage and see a very ticked off Billy McLean standing right before them)
Me: Look who finally decided to show up.
Billy: (Outraged) I have seen you kids do some stupid things for the past few years, but this is the stupidest. Ever since you've started this special, you have turned me into the world's biggest joke.
Me: More like the worlds biggest fucking monster.
Gwen: (Annoyed) Well duh, you've been doing it to us so now we are returning the favor.
Me: Yeah!
Billy: Zip it Gwendy! You're at the top of contestants that I hate; A.K.A., everyone.
My aura flared up and so did Gwen's.
Courtney: (Angry) Her name is Gwen and she is actually one of the best Total Drama contestants of all time in my eyes.
Me: That's right!
Gwen: (Touched) Thanks Courtney, you're one of the best to me as well. Same to you J.D.
Me: Thanks.
Billy: (Disturbed) Sheesh, enough with your friendship talk. Why don't you two just kiss already?
Me: How about you shut the hell up fuckwad?
Gwen: (Offended) Dude, Courtney and I might like each other but we're not gay.
Courtney: Yeah, (looks into the camera with Gwen) we'll leave that to the fans.
Billy: Oh please, the fans only care about the drama and torture; that's why the show is called Total Drama. Each and every one of you is a pile of trash.
Me: Like you for bringing that torture.
(Everyone is either angry or upset when he starts insulting each and every one of them. He starts with the Original Cast.)
Billy: (To Courtney) You're not a C. I. T. You're a B.I.T.C.H.
Me: And you Billy are a F.U.C.K.K.I.C.K.E.R.
Billy: I don't give a flying fuck what you think. By the way, you are a terrible artist. (To Trent) Your guitar playing is always out of tune you shitstain. (To Bridgette) You're a lousy surfer and a bitch. (To Geoff) You're too annoying. (To Owen) You're a walking time bomb that will bring us all to our ex-stink-tion. (To DJ) You're a big cry baby who loves his mama too much. (To Harold) You're an over-sized walking stick. (To LeShawna) You can't dance because you are too big. (To Duncan) You have no respect for anyone; not even your parents. (To Sierra and Izzy) You two are mental. (To Lindsay) You have a brain the size of an oxygen molecule. (To Cody) You're a little dweeb. (To Noah) You're as boring as the next bookworm. (To Tyler) You suck at every sport. (To Ezekiel) You're the biggest freak of nature on the planet.
He then went to me.
Billy: You J.D. are the biggest motherfucking shitstain ever known on the face of the universe.
Me: I am not intimidated. I've been called much worse.
(Ezekiel backed away slowly offstage. Billy turns to the Pahkitew Cast.)
Billy: (To Sky) You're too tiny to be a real Olympian. (To Dave) You cry whenever something lands on you. (To Shawn) You're all messed up with your stupid Zombie obsession. (To Jasmine) You have no real dreams. (To Sammy) You always say your name wrong. (To Topher) You're the worst host in TV history. (To Ella) You can't sing like a normal person. (To Scarlett) All your inventions are terrible. (To Rodney) You will never find true love.
(Rodney feels depressed until Ella comforts him. Billy turns to the Revenge Cast.)
Billy: (To Mike and Zoey) You two are bland and stupid. (To Cameron) You're an accident prone string bean. (To Brick) You're too clumsy to serve this country. (To Dawn) You're a witch. (To Scott) You're an idiotic hillbilly. (To B) You have no voice box. (To Staci) You never shut up. (To Anne Maria) Your tan is fake. (To Sam) You're a virtual reality nut job. (To Dakota) And you are the worst mutation I have ever created. You're too big, too loud, too mean, and most of all; too ugly. (Dakota snarls) You're a Hollywood reject who will spend the rest of your life in exile.
Billy then turned to the rest of us and called us names so horrible and so terrible that we can't even say them on here. But we weren't intimidated.
Billy: You all have no future in fame and fortune. You have…
(Dakota suddenly picks up Billy by his ankle and starts slamming him to the ground the same way The Hulk did to Loki in "The Avengers". Billy then lays on the ground motionless; unable to do anything except breathe. His clothes were all torn up, his hair all ruffled up, his tooth missing again, a black right eye again, and covered in cuts and bruises.)
Dakota: You're finished!
(Billy then just moans and whines in pain. Everyone cheers at what Dakota just did to Chris.)
Sam: (Whistles) That's my girl!
Me: Way to go Dakota!
Cameron: AWESOME! (He checks the machine and it's ready to be used again) Well the machine has warmed up again. Ready to be de-mutated Dakota?
(Dakota looks at Sam and then at Chris)
Dakota: Well, if I have to end my time as a mutant, at least I ended it on a high note.
Gwen: I couldn't agree more.
Dakota: (Steps into the machine) Well, here I go.
Mike: Wait, (pulls out a bath towel) you might need this when you come out.
Dakota: (Takes the towel) Thanks Mike!
(Harold closes the door and Scarlett starts the machine up again. It roars and sparks until she turns it off. Harold then opens the door and Dakota steps out in her human form again; wearing nothing but the bath towel.)
Dakota: Did, did it work? Am I me again? I sound like me again. (She looks at her hands and smiles) YES, I got my old body back.
Me: See for yourself.
I formed a mirror and she was shocked!
Sam: (Runs over and hugs her) Dakota, I do agree with you now; you do look better this way. I can't believe I forgot how beautiful you are as a human, even with your beautiful blonde hair.
Dakota: What! (Ella gives Dakota a mirror and squeals excitedly) I got my old hair back too. (She and Sam share a kiss)
Dark Spicer: How about you guys rest for now? Me, Waffle Woman, and Zs'Skayr will take care of Billy.
Me: Will do.
Nico: (To Dark Spicer's group) I can't believe I'm saying this but, no killing Billy. He has to face justice for his crimes. If you kill him, believe me, I'll know.
Dark Spicer: Got it.
(Chris suddenly gets up just as the 3 members of the Masters of Evil came.)
Billy Mclean: Who the Hell are you three?!
Zs'Skayr: We're those villains everyone's talking about!
Dark Spicer: Here's your warning: Your ass is about to be kicked!
They mercilessly thrashed him all over and it really hurt him.
Dark Spicer then turned into Plantmenace.
Plantmenace just restrained Billy McLean in vines.
Plantmeance: There. Now to deliver him to J.D. and the others.
He dropped him in front of us and he saw Vypra.
Vypra: Our deal is off McLean.
Billy: (to Vypra) C'mon, Vypra! I thought I paid you and your group good money!
Vypra: True, but it was all for torture and even we wouldn't go that far.
Chris McLean: And I can say this.
Billy: Chris? What are you doing here!?
Chris McLean: Closing down my show Billy. You are a disgrace to our family.
Two more officers and one of the Producers show up.
Billy: (Sheepish) Hey, what are you doing here?
Producer: We have all had enough of your crap Billy McLean. (The officers pick him up) You've done nothing but torment these innocent kids for the last 9 seasons. And I agree with Chris. It's time to shut this show down and put people like you where you belong, in jail!
Billy: (Annoyed) Fine, go on ahead, it's only a one year sentence just like last time.
Producer: Oh I don't think so. You're going away for a long time, like 15 to 20 years away.
Me: Make it life without parole because you're being declared as a Dangerous Offender.
Billy: (Shocked) WHAT!
Producer: Let's go boys. (The officers drag Billy away as they follow the Producer off the stage)
Me: Officers wait!
The officers turned to me and I handed them a huge file full of evidence on Billy.
Me: You'll need this. It's all the crimes Billy did to us and to everyone here.
Officer: Thanks J.D.
They took it and left with Billy.
Me: In the immortal words of Nico...
Me and Nico: BILLY MCLEAN, YOU HAVE FAILED THIS WORLD AND THIS UNIVERSE!
We cheered.
Bridgette: Phew, I'm glad that it is all over.
Trent: Not yet, we still have one more thing to do. Chef!
(Chef walks onstage with a giant cake that is almost as big as the stage. There is writing on the side of the cake saying "TO THE END OF TOTAL DRAMA… and Happy Birthday Sky!)
Me: Wow! What a cake!
Sky: (Impressed) Wow, this is not only a cake to celebrate the shows final run, it's also to celebrate my special day.
Trent: Well we wanted to give you something special after we found out so we added a birthday message to the cake.
Sky: Thanks!
Ella: Oh Sky, I've got something for you too. (She takes the tiara that Sugar had in Episode 1)
Me: Aww.
Ella: (Placing the tiara on Sky's head) I hereby dub thee; Princess Sky!
(Everyone claps and cheers)
Sky: (Surprised) Me, a princess, but I'm an athlete. Why?
Ella: Because a princess is not only someone who sings, dances, and rules a kingdom. A princess can be someone who has determination, charity, compassion, devotion, integrity, optimism, and leadership. You proved that you have them all.
Lola: That's right Sky. You are an amazing athletic princess.
Sky: Thanks Ella and you too Lola! (They share a hug)
Geoff: Wahoo, let's get this party started.
Me: Yeah!
(Everyone cheers. Cuts to Billy in the police car.)
Billy: (Devious) You might have ended my career, (hold up a remote) but I still have one more prank up my sleeve.
(He presses a button; turning on a detonator that he secretly planted on the cake before he was hauled out. The cake suddenly explodes, covering everyone in cake for the last few minutes of the special. Everyone pops out of the mess and look upset, but Owen just cheers at such awesomeness.)
Owen: Oh man, that was awesome. WAHOO!
Me: (Slurps) Mmm! Cotton Candy Vanilla! Delicious!
Vypra: Really good cake.
Dark Spicer: Very tasty.
(Everyone else then cheers along. Cuts to Billy who doesn't look happy.)
Billy: DANG IT! How am I supposed to make these kids miserable now? (He throws the remote at the car window, only having it bounce off and hitting him in his black eye) SWEET MEXICAN WALNUTS THAT HURTS! Wait a minute, the kids aren't around. I can swear for real. (Inhales deeply) AH MOTHERFUCKER!
POINK!
(The officers knocked him out with a tranquilizer dart before pulling out of the back lot. Cuts back to the stage.)
Bridgette: Well this wasn't how we wanted to end the show.
Trent: But it sure was cool.
Me: It sure was.
Bridgette: Well, I think it's time to sign off for the last time; unless there was something we all forgot.
Ezekiel: (Returns) Yo Yo Yo, guess what I found hiding in a vault backstage; (holds up three suitcases that look like the million dollar case) 7 One Million Dollar Cases.
Brick: Wow, that's amazing. Are you going to keep it?
Ezekiel: And go back to that feral state, huh, no thanks. I'm going to give these to those who really need it.
Gwen: (Gasps) That's right! Owen, J.D., Naruto, Heather, Alejandro, Mike, and Zoey, we all made it to the finale but never walked away with the prize money.
Me: We walked away with it at the ends of seasons 8 and 9.
D.J.: But didn't Mike and Zoey walk away with it in their bonus clip.
Me: Yeah that's right! Cameron was the only one that walked away with it.
Zoey: (Annoyed) Well it looked like we did when Billy gave us the case off-screen. But when the clip ended, he took our money again and told us that he needed it to build the new island.
Courtney: So he just gave it to you as a joke just to mess with your feelings?
Zoey: Pretty much!
Me: What a fuckpot!
Jasmine: Billy shouldn't have taken the money that you've been working so hard to win.
Mike: Yeah, and I had something special planned with my half since we were going to split it anyways.
Me: But we still do. We won the money at the end of T.D.G.
Ezekiel: Well, you guys won't be disappointed. (He gave Owen and Gwen one of the cases, one to Heather and Alejandro, and the last one to Mike and Zoey)
Zoey: So Mike, what were you planning to use your half for?
Me: We still have your wedding to do.
Owen: Hey guys, after I help pay off my mom for everything that happened since Action, I will use what is left over to throw that yacht party I promised everyone, and you guys can have the wedding there. (Thinks for a second) Oh yeah, and for a new cake to replace this one.
(Everyone cheers)
Mike: (Excited) That's awesome man, thanks!
Zoey: Hey Gwen, what do you plan to use your money for?
Gwen: Well most of it is going to my mother and brother, some will be for me to go to a nice art school, (turns to Sammy) and whatever Sammy needs to get her father's grave to Australia so she can still be with him all the time.
Me: Awesome!
Sammy: Oh thank you Gwen, you really are the best! (They share a hug)
Bridgette: And Heather and Alejandro, how do you guys plan to use your money?
Heather: (Stern) We don't need to tell you anything.
Alejandro: Now that we have our million and each other, we don't need to hang out with you guys anymore. (They walk away with their suitcase and leave the studio)
Laney grabbed them.
Laney: Not so fast. The Sore Losers are still going back to prison.
Laney tied them up and took their money. it was gonna be put in the vault.
Dave: (Chuckles) Well, just like Mike, they'll probably use some of it for their own wedding. (He then looks at Sky as well as the cake mess around her) Oh Sky, sorry that your cake got blown up. Chris has probably made this the worst birthday ever for you.
Sky: (Excited) Are you kidding me? This is the greatest birthday I ever had! I got to spend it with my sister; even if it was just for a few minutes, with Scarlett, with you, and with all my new friends. I had fun playing all these challenges, I got a beautiful tiara, and I got a huge cake; even though I ended up wearing it instead of eating it. I wouldn't want to picture it any other way.
Dave: Well, did you at least picture it kissing me in a pile of cake?
Sky: (Blushes and giggles) I am now! (Sky and Dave have the very last kiss of the show)
Brick: Well, I'd say that everything is perfect.
Shawn: Well since the cake is ruined, I know one more thing that would make this moment perfect.
(Everyone looks at each other happily)
Everyone: CAKE FIGHT!
(Everyone starts throwing cake at each other; just laughing and having a good time. Even the audience can't help but laugh along.)
Geoff/Gwen: (To the audience) What are you laughing at? (They throw some cake at the audience, but they still just laugh)
Bridgette: (Laughs) Well, guess this is how we leave our viewers forever; laughing while throwing cake at each other.
Trent: (Laughs) Well it is better than leaving everyone on a bad note. We hope that you all enjoyed our Aftermath Special.
Bridgette: And even though the show is over, keep supporting it with your amazing fan art and your love for each of us. I'm Bridgette!
Geoff: I'm Geoff!
Trent: And I'm Trent! And this has been…
Everyone: Total! Drama! Galaxy!
Billy McLean was found guilty of numerous counts of Multiple attempted murders, Abuse (physical and psychological), Endangerment, Torture, Corruption, Pollution, Animal cruelty, Negligence, Fraud, Privacy violation, Terrorism, Dendrophilia (implied), Snuff filming, Destruction, Food poisoning, and Innumerable other attacks. He was sentenced to serve 80 consecutive life sentences plus 82,749,126 years in the Neptune Prison supermax section. Because of the severity of his crimes, he was declared a dangerous offender. Meaning he will never get out of prison. If Canada had the death penalty, they would execute Billy in an instant.
Vypra: Guess we're enemies again. But thanks for having us over.
Me: It was cool kicking Billy's butt though. Justice has been served.
Vypra: Before we leave, we want you all to release Snake, Skinner, and Quimby back to us.
Me: It will be done.
Maria: As long as they fight Fiona, Dana, and Homer respectively.
Vypra: Done.
I snapped my fingers and beamed them over to them and they teleported.
Chris: (sighs) So this is really it.
Chef: Yeah, looks like it. At least we can say we had a good run.
Chris: A great run. (to the viewers) Thank you viewers for supporting Total Drama throughout the years. As long as you guys remember the show, Total Drama will never truly die. This has been the greatest way to close out the show. Until we see J.D. Knudson and his friends in the Ridonculous Race, I'm Chris McLean and this has been TOTAL! DRAMA! GALAXY!
THE END
Total Drama Galaxy Saga done.
This was the most awesome way to close out Total Drama Galaxy. I would like to thank TDGirlsFanForever for letting me use his 3 part fanfic for this chapter. Thanks man and credit goes to you. NicoChan11 gave me the ideas for this. Thanks man. Next up is Sym-Bionic Titan and get ready for an awesome adventure as we help Lance, Ilana, and Octus of Galaluna take down the evil General Modula and help them take back their home planet.
See you all tomorrow.
