Chapter opens up to a dark and stormy night in Gotham Royal York.

Narrator: (French Accent) Oh, a dark and stormy night. It's nights like these that remind me of the time Lily and Lynn Sr. thought they killed a health inspector. [laughs evilly. Stormy night becomes calm day] It was a bright and sunny morning at the Team Loud Phoenix Storm estate.

KRABBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!

A massive explosion went off behind the estate and it shows that I was training with Master Goku. He was in his Super Saiyan 4 form and I was in my Super Angel-Ebonwu-Phoenix 1,000,000 Elemental Moonlight Phoenix form and we were sparring and really training all over the place and more.

Goku: Good J.D.!

Me: (Divine Fiery Voice) HYAH!

I kicked at Goku and he blocked it and he was sweating like a pig and more!

I was training hard at an incredible level and more.

Later we took a break and powered down and then I sensed a faint but incredibly evil power!

Me: Whoa! Do you feel that Master Goku?

Goku: Yeah I sure do.

?: That power is from me!

We turned and we saw QUEEN BANSHEERA back from the dead!


Queen Bansheera (simply known as Bansheera) is the Queen of Demons and the main antagonist of Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue and the archenemy of Carter Grayson, the Red Lightspeed Rescue Ranger.

She was voiced by Diane Salinger.

Queen Bansheera is the evil matriarch of the Demons and mother of Impus/Prince Olympius. She was in parts unknown when Diabolico and his band were freed, and later returned and gave orders in a spiritual form at the beginning of the series. Bansheera eventually returned in a mangled bodily form after an attempt by Spellbinder to bring her into the human world due to the Lightspeed Rangers tampering. She eventually gained a ghastly final form by absorbing Vypra's life energy.

Bansheera set out to conquer the world, and proved far more ruthless than Diabolico or Olympius. Bansheera also had no regard for her minions (even her own son) and used them for her own gain. She absorbed Vypra to regain her original form, forced Diabolico to destroy Loki, left her own son in the Shadow World, and nearly destroyed the Rangers. Despite Diabolico telling the Red Lightspeed to strike where her heart should be, she continued to menace the Rangers. She eventually turned Diabolico and Olympius into Super Demons, but they were defeated.

She attempted to open the gateway to the Shadow World to unleash all of its fallen monsters. Taking over the Aquabase and the Omega Megazord, she was close to succeeding. However, Bansheera ended up suspended above the Demon World portal by Carter Grayson. The spirit of a vengeful Diabolico appeared, pulling her inside, where she was attacked by the undead monsters, much to Diabolico's satisfaction as he witnesses the downfall of his former queen.

Personality and Traits

Queen Bansheera could be described as traitorous, ruthless, cruel, sadistic, and insane. Nothing short of being obsessive and pathological, Bansheera would go to any lengths of returning to power and became notorious for sacrificing her minions to achieve her agenda. The first most significant realization of Bansheera's obsession is expressing how pleased she was that Diabolico, Vypra, and Loki had imprisoned her son Olympius in the Shadow World, seeing her own son as expendable just as her other minions. After she had consumed Vypra's energy to obtain her full body, Bansheera became dangerously unstable with power. The Rangers and her demon minions were unsafe from her madness. But much to her credit, Bansheera did prove to be a loving mother when Olympius was still the infant Impus. When she returned to the Skull Cavern after a long and unexplained absence, she expressed her joy in seeing Impus again. Also, considering that Impus had for some time had a longing for his mother Queen Bansheera, further proves the Queen's nurturing side. She is shown to expect her forces to remain loyal no matter what. When Diabolical's spirit returned one last time, she was expecting him to help her, despite the fact she made him kill his best friend. According to Ryan in the episode The Cobra Strikes, "she's worse than 10 Diabolicos".


Me: Queen Bansheera!

Goku: It's the real one this time!

Bansheera: J.D. Knudson. I'm here to kill you for trying to destroy me. (smirks evilly) Is now a bad time?

Me: With you Banseeha everything is a bad time. But I have some people here who would like to have a word with you

Goku: You will pay for your crimes Bansheera!

Nico: (Offscreen) I agree!

Nico and everyone arrived.

Queen Bansheera: So the Lightspeed Rescue Rangers are now part of your team J.D.

Me: That's right.

Carter Grayson: I thought we were rid of you forever Bansheera!

Chad Lee: Coming here was the biggest mistake you've ever done!

Joel Rawling: And we stopped you before and we can stop you again!

?: I agree.

A light came down and it was a friend the rangers know. It was DIABOLICO!


Diabolico is a powerful demon leader and major antagonist turned anti hero of Power Rangers: Lightspeed Rescue.

Taking Ryan

Some time before the beginning of the series, Captain Mitchell and his two children, Dana and Ryan, got in a car crash and were left hanging over a cliff, clinging to a tree root. While Mitchell had a secure grip on Dana, Ryan was hanging onto his foot and was about to fall when Diabolico appeared before Captain Mitchell in spirit form and said that he would save his son, but only if Ryan would belong to him afterwards. Though at first he refused, the Captain agreed when his son began to fall and, after catching the boy, Diabolico told Mitchell that he wouldn't see him again until his twentieth birthday. Afterwards, the Demon Lord trained Ryan as a warrior so as to use him as a soldier of the demons.

Release and Battle with the Rangers

Diabolico was eventually freed along with the rest of the demons and he lead them in attacks on Mariner Bay. However his plans failed constantly thanks to the Power Rangers and Queen Bansheera threatened to take his Star Power and give it to her son, Impus. Diabolico considered killing the demon infant at one point, but he lost the chance to do so. After the destruction of his monster, Troika, the demon grew to giant size to destroy the Power Rangers himself and proved able to easily match the Rangers. However they formed the Lightspeed Solarzord and destroyed Diabolico by absorbing one of his blasts and using the energy to charge their cannons, the blast from which annihilated him. The Star Power left the explosion and came to Impus, transforming him into Olympius.

Revival

However Diabolico was brought back by Vypra and Loki, who had almost been destroyed by Olympius' monster, Vilevine. He returned to Queen Bansheera's side to try and regain favor with her and get back his Star Power. At one point, Diabolico succeeded in trapping Olympius in the Shadow World, where all the destroyed demons dwelled. The Demon Prince escaped and Bansheera forced the demon to destroy his longtime friend, Loki, as a punishment. Diabolico turned on his Queen and told the Red Ranger where he should strike her to destroy her, but Bansheera survived.

Final Battle with the Rangers

Diabolico attempted to flee from the Demon Queen but was defeated by Olympius in vengeance. After being brought back to Bansheera, he was transformed into a mindless slave and the two attacked the Power Rangers. However the Red Ranger managed to free Diabolico and he turned on Olympius after giving the Rangers the key to the tomb where the demons had been imprisoned. He was destroyed by the Demon Prince, who was in turn destroyed by the Rangers, but Bansheera resurrected them both as Super Demons. Despite their power, the two were destroyed by the Power Rangers new Lifeforce Megazord. Later, during the final battle with Bansheera, she and the Red Ranger were stuck suspended over the Shadow World. Diabolico's spirit appeared and freed Carter before pulling Bansheera down, enacting his final revenge.

Personality

Despite being a diabolical villain, Diabolico cares deeply for his comrades, especially Loki. When he was forced to shoot Loki and destroyed him along with the rangers, he ultimately defects from Queen Bansheera's side and ultimately became a short-lived and impermanent ally of the rangers. In the season finale, he was able to exact his revenge, helping the rangers destroy Queen Bansheera once and for all.

Diabolico is evidently considered to be a good friend by Loki and Vypra as well as they both mourned him when he was killed by the rangers. Even though he lied to Ryan to manipulate him, he did seem to care about Ryan and wanted him to rule by his side when the rangers were destroyed. He even refers to him as Ryan during his their time together. When Ryan solidify his loyalty to the rangers over him, he stops calling Ryan by his name and simply called him the Titanium Ranger.

Powers and Abilities

Diabolico is able to appear in a spirit form, doing so even when he was imprisoned and can also create storms. He is also able to fire energy blasts and wields a skull themed, two bladed staff in combat. Diabolico has also demonstrated a strange ability to detach his right hand and grab his opponent with it, then bring the rest of his body towards them. Even without the Star Power, Diabolico is quite powerful, almost able to best Olympius in their first encounter. With the Star Power, he is extremely powerful, able to use one of his energy beams to cut a hole through the Supertrain Megazord. After becoming a Super Demon, Diabolico became even more powerful, wielding a large jewel-encrusted sword in combat.


Me: Diabolico!

Diabolico: It's an honor to finally meet you J.D. I have seen you all do so many great things.

Me: I'll never forget how you helped destroy Queen Bansheera before.

Diabolico: How long has it been by the way?

Me: Over 20 years.

Diabolico: It really has been a while.

Loki and Vypra and the Masters of Evil all then appeared!

Loki (Power Rangers): Looks like we arrived just in time!

Diabolico: It's good to see you again my friend.

Loki: Diabolico!

Vypra: You're back!

They went over to him and hugged him for the first time in 20 years. Then they turned and faced Bansheera and they had eyes burning with rage.

Me: If I were you Bansheera, I would start praying.

Nico: Because you pissed off three of your top Generals.

Vince: That were once loyal to you.

Vypra: You killed me Bansheera.

Loki (Power Rangers): And me!

Bansheera: Vypra. Why don't you come serve me again? Like a good girll?

Vypra: You mean like a good dog? That's all I am to you, isn't it? Just an attack dog.

Bansheera: Oh, you know that's not true. Yes, you can be impulsive most of the time. But that's why you're one of my favorites.

Vypra: You're right. I can be impulsive. But I'm no one's pet, Bansheera. Not anymore. I'm head bitch now!

Me: She is now the leader of the Masters of Evil and you are never gonna be welcome here on Earth or anywhere else Bansheera.

Firefly: You guys don't mind if we have some fun with Bansheera before you Hakai her, do you?

Nico: Go right ahead. I'm gonna go take a nap. Wake me up when you're done.

Me: Okay.

May went to nap with him.

Me: Nico and May are getting hitched in a few days.

Loki (Power Rangers): I heard about that. Tell them congratulations.

Me: I'll relay the message.

I then tied up Bansheera and she was completely helpless.

Me: There's a saying we have here on Earth Bansheera.

Queen Bansheera: What is it?

Me: It's Payback Time!

Dark Spicer: Here's your warning: your ass is about to be kicked!

Laney: Big time!

The Masters of Evil then tortured and mutilated Bansheera all over the place with indiscriminate fury. Captain Mitchell and Ms. Fairweather were blasting and torturing Bansheera as well.

Vypra and the Masters of Evil tortured Bansheera for a whole hour. At first, Vypra had a blast torturing Bansheera. But now, she was getting bored.

Vypra: (bored) Take that. (stabs Bansheera with her sword) And that. (stabs her again) You know, I thought this would be a lot of fun. But now, I'm starting to get bored of this. (to Vanitas) What's wrong with me?

Bansheera: You're an ungrateful bitch who doesn't know her place!

Vypra: (stabs Bansheera again) I wasn't asking you!

Vanitas: Maybe, you're having a mid life crisis.

Me: It has been over 20 years.

Loki (Power Rangers): That could be the case.

Me: Are you guys satisfied?

They nodded.

Me: All right we'll take it from here. Ready Carter?

Carter Grayson: You bet. Ready guys?

They agreed.

Me: Nico we're done torturing.

Nico: (Wakes up) Huh? Oh okay.

Lightspeed Rescue Rangers: LIGHTSPEED RESCUE!

Ryan Mitchell: TITANIUM POWER!

The Lightspeed Rescue Rangers all transformed and they were ready.

Me: Now you are history. RESCUE BIRD!

The Rescue Bird launched and it came to us and we put it together into the Unilaser!

Me: This is the weapon of your demise. I'm channeling Hakai energy into it.

Chad Lee: Awesome!

Joel Rawling: You know what to do right J.D.?

Me: Watched you guys all the time and saw you do it several times.

Ryan had his Titanium blaster ready to fire.

Me: Ready guys?

Carter Grayson: Yep.

Me: Say Hi to Olympius for us when you see him in Oblivion.

Chad and Joel: Ready.

Dana and Kelsey: Aim!

Me and Carter: And FIRE!

We fired blasts of purple and silver energy and the blasts hit Bansheera and she exploded with incredible power in a massive fiery explosion and she screamed in excruciating agony as she was being completely obliterated. She was completely erased from existence for all eternity as if she was never born at all.

Me: Enjoy oblivion Bansheera.

Vypra: Good riddance.

Loki (Power Rangers): Yeah.

Diabolico: At least we never have to see her again.

Naruto: Yep.

We did Vypra, Dark Spicer, Loki and Diabolico a good service by erasing Bansheera, the most ruthless and most evil queen that ever lived from their lives forever. Vypra may be a demon but she is just as human as all of us. Same with Loki. Diabolico went back to Heaven.

[scene cuts to Lynn's Table where we were having a celebratory lunch and a man drives up and stops in front of the restaurant. The camera zooms into his badge that reads 'Health Inspector']

Lynn Sr.: [Chopping onions] (Smells something) That smells like... [gasps] ...the health inspector! [Lynn Sr. runs up to Lily] Wash your hands, clean the floors, change your underwear! The health inspector's here!

Lincoln: The Health Inspector!?

Jack Atlas: (Australian Accent) Uh oh!

[They are peeking out the kitchen window at the health inspector, who is writing on a clipboard]

Lynn Sr.: If he finds one health violation, he'll close us down for good. We've got to do everything in our power to make sure he passes my restaurant.

Lincoln: But, dad, there's no reason to worry. [eyes widen] Your restaurant is the most perfect place in the universe.

Lynn Sr.: You really haven't got any brains at all, have you, son?

Lori: Dad I know you're worried. But we'll be all right.

Lynn Sr.: You're right sweetie. [pushes Lincoln out the door] Just go out there and give him what he needs. Pour on the charm. Sweet talk him. [Lincoln walks up to the health inspector, who is still writing on his clipboard at the table]

Lincoln: What can I get for you good sir?

Health Inspector Dennis: I'm going to need you to bring me one of everything on the menu.

Laney: Wow you must be hungry.

Health Inspector Dennis: I have a really big appetite.

Lincoln: [walking backwards back into the kitchen] Excellent choice good sir. Coming right up! [Lincoln enters the kitchen, where everyone waits] He wants one of everything.

Lana: Wow!

Lola: He must be really hungry!

Lily: No kidding.

Lynn Sr.: Then we'll give him a smorgasbord! [holds up a tray of a burger, a drink, some fries, and a dessert] The future of Lynn's Table is at stake! [Everyone then runs up to the health inspector]

Lincoln: Try the Loaded Leni Dog, sir! [stuffs it in the inspector's mouth]

Lynn Sr.: The Buttered Lynn-ichini Alfredo are a touch of heaven. [stuffs it in the inspector's mouth]

Lola: The Powdered Lolaghetti is exquisite. [stuffs it in the inspector's mouth]

Nico: Fresh Double Dutch Chocolate Pudding? [stuffs it in the inspector's mouth]

Laney: More Diet Red Zone? [stuffs it in the inspector's mouth]

Lily: Some Fried Creole? [stuffs it in the inspector's mouth]

Health Inspector Dennis: Please, everyone! [swallows all the food in his mouth] Leave me to finish my work in peace. [clicks his pen, which is actually a fork that comes out. Later, the health inspector has eaten everything on the table and belches]

Lincoln: And did the gracious inspector enjoy his meal?

Health Inspector Dennis: [writes on his clipboard] So far, so good. Everything is really delicious.

Lincoln: Recipes made by J.D. Knudson, his daughter Mary and my dad.

Health Inspector Dennis: Really delicious. Probably the best in my career. I just need to try a plain Lynn-Burger and my inspection will be finished.

Lincoln: [open kitchen door] He says if he gets one more Lynn-Burger, he'll pass us for the inspection!

Lynn Sr.: [picks up Lincoln] Do you know what this means, son? We're in the clear! [both dance off then leapfrog over each other, across the screen then do the can-can in dresses until a news report comes on tv]

Johnny Elaine: We interrupt this can-can for a special news bulletin. Be on the lookout for a man, who's been passing himself off as a health inspector in order to obtain free food. That's all for now. [Lynn Sr. gets angry]

Lynn Sr.: [Yells] Free food?!

Lincoln: Maybe we oughta tell our guy about the phony impostor.

Lynn Sr.: You silly boy, he is the impostor! We've been duped!

Lincoln: Duped?!

Lynn Sr.: Bamboozled!

Lincoln: We've been smeckledorfed!

Lynn Sr.: That's not even a word, and I agree with ya!

Laney: It makes sense.

Jack Atlas: I agree.

[They all look through the kitchen window at the health inspector, who is wiping his mouth off, finishing his drink, and cleaning his teeth with a toothpick]

Lynn Sr.: Look at him. I bet he never changes his underpants.

Lincoln: I bet he bites fingernails from old people.

Lynn Sr.: I bet his mom bought him that hat. [holds up a Lynn-Burger] If that impostor wants a Lynn-Burger, then by God, we'll give him one. [flicks the top bun off and puts a some volcano sauce on the burger] You're dancin' with the Lynn man now! Join me, guys, or you're grounded!

Lincoln: It doesn't seem right... [holds up a bottle of pickled horseradish] ...but it feels so good! [dumps a spoonful on the burger] Pickled horseradish: the gnarliest stuff in the world.

Lana: Yeah!

Lynn Sr.: Oh, hold on, I've got a jar of toenail clippings in my office! [runs off as Lana drops the burger in the toilet]

Lana: Oops, I dropped it in the toilet! [Lynn runs in with a smelly sock]

Lynn: Well, fish it out, and I'll dry it with my gym socks! [scene cuts to showing a disgusting Lynn-Burger with what appears to be a pimpled bun and green meat and all kinds of rotten stuff that smelled horrible!]

Lynn Sr.: Why, that's the most diabolical Lynn-Burger ever spawned! [Everyone is wearing clothespins on their noses]

Lily: I call it the 'Nasty Burger'. [both laugh]

VOMITVILLE!

Nico: Guys, are you sure you want to give the inspector that patty? Once you do this, there's no going back!

Lily: It'll get rid of him.

Health Inspector Dennis: Hey, hurry up with that patty! [Lincoln runs in with the burger]

Lincoln: [speaking quickly] Here you are, sir, enjoy. [runs back into the kitchen]

Health Inspector Dennis: Ah, hello, delicious. Come to papa. [as he is about to eat it, a fly flies into his throat, choking him]

Lynn Sr.: [listening from the kitchen] Listen, he ate it! [everyone looks out from the kitchen window] Oh, look at him choke! [they laugh] Look at him suffer! [they keep laughing.] Did you see that, guys? Oh man, that look on his face. [Health Inspector Dennis slips on some packets of condiments and bangs his head on the table, knocking him out. The fly exits his mouth. Everyone is still laughing. Another TV bulletin comes on]

Johnny Elaine: We interrupt your laughter at other people's expense to bring you this news flash. The fake inspector has been captured. Here is his picture. [picture is shown on the TV] If a health inspector comes to your restaurant and he's not this guy, he's real.

Lana: That's a relief.

Lily: Phew, that's a relief, eh, guys? I'm sure our guy will understand if we just explain the situation. Then we can all have a good laugh about it. But where have I seen this before?

Lynn Sr.: [gasps] I don't think he'll be laughing guys.

Lincoln: Why, dad?

Lynn Sr.: Because that patty killed him! [They all scream, check the inspector again, then scream again]

UH OH!

Lily: Dad, what are we gonna do?

Lynn Sr.: What's this "we" stuff? You fed him the tainted patty. Looks like it's the stony lonesome for you!

Lincoln: But you told us to give it to him!

Lynn Sr.: Well, you could've talked me out of it!

Lincoln: You're right, dad, I'm guilty. I'll never survive in prison, they'll mop up the floor with me.

Jack Atlas: I wouldn't want to be you guys right now.

Lana: Hey, you're just as involved in this as we are!

Lola: Yeah! You were in the room when we made that nasty burger! That makes you an accomplice!

[Lynn Sr. grabs him]

Lynn Sr.: Get a hold of yourself, guys! We've got to get rid of this body before anyone sees it. We've got to take it out and bury it.

Lola: Okay.

[scene cuts to everyone on a muddy hill.]

Lincoln: [disgusted] Eww, gross, germs, it's all icky and corpse-y!

Lola: How do you think I feel about this!? This is Lucy's job!

Lincoln: [gagging and shrieking while constantly spraying it with disinfectant] Eww... eww... [Lincoln and Lola are dragging the body by a tissue]

Lynn Sr.: This should be far enough. Now, get diggin'! [hands Lana a shovel]

Lana: Right dad. [while digging a big hole, his shovel hits something]

Lynn Sr.: What's the holdup down there?

Lana: There's a big rock in the way!

Lynn Sr.: Well, toss it out and get back to diggin'!

Lana: [salutes] Aye aye, sir! [grunting as she tosses the huge rock behind her]

Health Inspector Dennis: Oh... where am I?

BONK!

Health Inspector Dennis: [grunts as the rock hits him in the head knocking him out again, groans]

Lynn Sr.: Something isn't quite right.

Lana: What do you mean, dad? [health inspector's head is out of the ground]

Lynn Sr.:: His head's stickin' out!

Lincoln: [Lincoln covers his head with more dirt] Sorry, dad. I thought he might need some air.

Lynn Sr.: They don't need air where he's going.

Dark Spicer and Carly Carmine then appeared.

Dark Spicer: Guys, what are you doing?

Carly Carmine: Is that a dead body?

Eddy: Dude, this isn't what it looks like!

Carly Carmine: It seems to us that you killed a health inspector. I know you might hate certain villains but I didn't think you'd kill an innocent person!

Dark Spicer: I don't know whether to be shocked or impressed.

Jack Atlas: We thought he was a criminal out to get free food and we killed him because of it.

Dark Spicer: Whoa. I heard about that on the news.

Carly Carmine: I see.

Maria: Guys, you can't tell anyone about this! If this gets out to the public, it'll prove people like Lila Rossi and Justice Lord Superman right!

Dark Spicer: Our lips are sealed.

Carly Carmine: Now, let's just hope no one else finds us.

Lincoln: Shouldn't we say a few words on his behalf?

Lynn Sr.: Uhh, he was a credit to health inspectors everywhere, and, uh...

Lily: [bawling] What a brave man, going in the line of duty like that! Why... why... why?! [Lynn Sr. grabs Lily]

Lynn Sr.: Listen here, ya little one. No one, and I mean no one can ever know about this. It'll be the end of you, it'll be the end of me. And worst of all, it'll be the end of all of us!

Carly Carmine: Jack, what if Tom and Sheila find out about the dead health inspector? I don't want you to go to prison.

Jack Atlas: If it comes to that, then I'll accept my consequences. Running would only make things worse.

Lana: Wow.

Officer Tom Lair: [shines a flashlight on them] Stop right where you all are! Oh hey guys. Didn't recognize you there.

Sheila Castille: How have you all been?

Jack Atlas: Good.

Officer Tom Lair: I'm afraid we're going to have to arrest all of you. [Lincoln hangs on Lynn Sr.]

Lincoln: Dad! I'm too young to go to jail! [Lynn Sr. covers his mouth]

Lynn Sr.: And what would be the charges?

Officer Tom Lair: For not being at Lynn's Table to whip us up a couple of dee...licious plates of food! [both police officers laugh. Lynn Sr. laughs nervously]

Lynn Sr.: Laugh, son. [Lincoln and everyone laughs. It rains. The rain washes away the dirt burying the health inspector and he slides down the hill]

Sheila Castille: Put that muddy shovel in the trunk and we'll give you all a ride back. [Everyone is still laughing until Lynn Sr. hits thm. Lynn Sr. opens the trunk and Lily puts the shovel in it]

Lynn Sr.: Guys, listen carefully: We're just getting a lift back to the restaurant. I need you all to stay calm and don't lose your cool, understand? [Lily looks down and goes in shock]

Lily: Can I lose my cool now?

Lynn Sr.: Why? [Lily points to the health inspector, who has now slid down the hill. They scream, Lynn Sr. grabs the body and gives it to Lola] Put him in the trunk, Lola! I'll keep the cops busy.

Officer Tom Lair: What's the holdup back there? [Lynn Sr. starts talking to him as a distraction]

Lola: Oh, God! Get away! [throws the inspector in the trunk then sprays herself with disinfectant.] Ooh...ahh-ahh... [Slams the trunk on the health inspector, who was waking up] A-hem... Okay! All set back here. Nothing unusual about a muddy shovel in the trunk. [laughs nervously]

Lynn: All set. [Everyone slides in almost motionlessly]

Lily: Ahh... [starts to shake]

Sheila Castille: You okay there, Lily?

Lynn Sr.: Ooh, he gets carsick real easy.

Officer Tom Lair: Well, buckle up and we'll drive real smooth-like. [drives off]

Lynn Sr.: Now listen, guys, when we get to the Lynn's Table I want you to take that [winks] shovel and bring it around to the back entrance and stuff...er... I mean, stow it in the freezer. Un-der-stand?

Lincoln: I understand, Mr. Krabs, but what do you want me to do with the bo... [is about to say "body"]

Lynn Sr.: [grabs Lincoln's lips] ...ttles of soda! Bottles of soda, Same thing, put 'em in the freezer. [Sheila stares at them funny. They laugh. Scene cuts to the Lynn's Table where Lincoln and Lily is bringing the body to the back]

Lily: Oh, man, this is so gross! [tries to open the door, but there is a lock] The back door is locked! What am we gonna do?! [scene cuts to inside the restaurant with Tom Lair and Sheila Castille laughing. Lily enters with a big Krusty Krab hat where the health inspector is in it]

Lynn Sr.: Hey there Lily. Heh. I thought you were out back taking care of that [angrily] shovel! [twitches & winks his eyes]

Lily: Well, the back door was locked, so I came around here...eh. [his hat sags over, and Lily puts it back in position] So if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go put my hat in the freezer now. [walks to the kitchen very carefully]

Lynn Sr.: Okey-dokey, SpongeBob.

Officer Tom Lair: Is that kid okay?

Officer Sheila Castille: He's actin' a little funny.

Lynn Sr.: Funny? Oh. Yeah. [laughs] He's a real cut-up, that one. He knows how to keep the crew in stitches. Good one, Lily! Always on, that one. There's no "off" on his funny switch. [laughs, Lily stumbles with the Health Inspector in his hat as Tom Lair and Sheila Castille, and Lynn Sr. look on] Oh, ah, oh stop it. Oh, you're, you're killin' me. [laughs, Lily is trying to get through a door but his hat is too big. Lynn Sr. bangs the cash drawer open] Oh! Look, I almost forgot! It's Open Cash Register Night! First two customers get all the money in the cash register! [hands out the money. Lily gets his hat inside the kitchen]

Officer Tom Lair: [listens to his walkie-talkie] 86 those patties, Lynn. We just got a call about a bunch of ghouls burying a stiff over by Shallow Grave Road.

Sheila Castille: I want a soda. [Lynn Sr. gives her one]

Lynn Sr.: Here's your soda. Always a pleasure to serve the folks in blue. Well, goodbye now.

Sheila Castille: Hey, there's no ice.

Lynn Sr.: [nervous] Ice? Ice? You want ice? Is that what you want, you want ice? Is that what you want? [Lily slides on screen]

Lily: The dark deed you requested is done, dad.

Sheila Castille: [walks to the kitchen] I'll get it myself. Ice is in the freezer, ri...? [Lynn Sr. runs to block the freezer door]

Lynn Sr.: There is no ice! There's never been any ice. Ice is just a myth!

Sheila Castille: Step aside. You guys are all acting like you've committed a murder!

Lynn Sr.: Okay! I confess! [points to Lily] Lily killed him!

Lily: What?! You can't pin this whole rap on me!

Lynn Sr.: She was insane, out of control. She would've killed me too if you two hadn't come along.

Lily: It was all dad's idea.

Lynn Sr.: Put her down now, she's a mad dog!

Lily: He wears curlers to bed!

Lynn Sr.: Wait! It's not what you think!

Sheila Castille: What are you all talking about?

Lynn Sr.: We killed a health inspector! Buried him and then stuffed his body in the freezer!

Dark Spicer: Wait! Lily and the others didn't kill the Health Inspector. Me and Carly did!

Tom Lair: Say what?

Carly Carmine: That's right. We killed the Health Inspector. Not Team Loud Phoenix Storm.

Sheila Castille: Why?

Dark Spicer: Because me and Carly fucking hate Health Inspectors! They're a menace to restaurants everywhere!

Carly Carmine: Yep! And you know what? If another Health Inspector comes by, we'll kill him too! Fuck yeah!

Jack Atlas: (shocked) Carly...

Sheila Castilee: You mean he's in here? [opens the freezer, but it's empty]

Lana: It's empty?

Lola: But he was in here.

Sheila Castille: Is this some kind of a joke?

Lynn Sr.: Yeah...a joke! [Lily giggles]

Sheila Castille: Say, maybe he turned into a zombie and walked out. [everyone laughs. Just then a fish walks up moaning]

They start screaming!

Lily: [screams] It's the zombie! [the inspector turns the lights on]

Health Inspector Dennis: Hey, you guys...

CLANG!

Tom Lair: [hits the inspector on the head with an anchor] Take that, you zombie! [inspector now has a huge bump on his head]

Sheila Castille: I'll take it from here.

BLAM!

Sheila Castille: [hits the inspector on the head with a barrel] Die, zombie!

Tom Lair: Good police work, Officer Sheila. Hey, this guy's not a zombie. He's just an ordinary health inspector.

OOPS!

Health Inspector Dennis: Yes. And at the risk of being hit again, I'd like to present you with this. [gives Lynn Sr. and everyone a note with the word 'pass' on it checked]

Lincoln: Hey, guys, look. We passed the inspection!

Everyone: Hooray! [everyone walks out of the kitchen]

Lynn Sr.: Come on everyone! Free food for everyone!

Health Inspector Dennis: [tries to crawl out] Oh, boy, I'd like a a burger. [door slams in his face. Scene cuts to outside where it's stormy again]

Narrator: Well, that's the story. Yes, they are all idiots, aren't they?

Later we were talking to the Health Inspector at our table as Varie was tending to his his injuries.

Me: Sorry about what happened to you. They thought you were a criminal posing as a health inspector to get free food.

Health Inspector Dennis: I understand J.D. But I had no idea there was an imposter going around.

Lily: Wow.

Me: But thank goodness I caught him.

Nico: Good.

Jack Atlas: Carly, you were willing to go to jail for me. Why?

Carly Carmine: Because you don't deserve to go to jail. If you did, I don't know what I would do with my self.

Jack Atlas: Oh Carly.

They then kissed.

THE END


Another SpongeBob Land Episode done.

Nasty Patty was an awesome and really funny episode! If I ate a burger like the Nasty Patty, I would hurl my guts out for years. It aired on March 1st, 2002 and it was really funny! NicoChan11 gave me the ideas for this. Thanks man. Next up is the awesome SpongeBob episode SpongeBob SquarePants VS The Big One and we're going to have the Neptune Crusaders face a really rare surfing event to get back to Bikini Bottom and it's gonna be awesome meeting J.K.L. who was voiced by Johnny Depp. SURFS UP DUDES!

See you all tomorrow.