Note: This chapter is a Parody of the SpongeBob episode Pre-Hibernation Week


In the Kitchen at the estate, Ruby Rose had finished making a delicious batch of triple fudge white, milk and dark Chocolate Chip Cookies and they smelled really awesome!

Ruby Rose: (Sniffs) Ahh! Everyone is gonna love these cookies. Let them cool for a bit while I visit the little girls room.

Ruby left and then Poromon, Horsea, Poliwag and Manaphy were grabbing the cookies and swiping them from under her nose.

Poromon: I hope Ruby doesn't find out we ate the cookies she made.

Horsea: She makes awesome cookies.

Manaphy: Some of the best ever.

Poliwag: No kidding.

They swiped all the cookies and left.

Ruby came back from the bathroom and then she saw that the cookies were gone!

Ruby Rose: (GASP)

DUNN DUNN DUUUUUUUUUNNNNN!

Ruby Rose: (SCREAMS IN HORROR!) (Echoing)

Qin: So what are Repnomites?

Shanan: Repnomites are a race of vicious, ruthless reptilian warriors that rule over everything with pure fear. They come from the destroyed planet of Xexni XII located 28,000 light-years away from Earth. The planet was completely enslaved by the Repnomites centuries ago and they were destroyed when the planet was sucked into a black hole and it exploded.

Qin: Whoa! That's incredible.

Ruby came in to the living room and she had ferociously raging glowing red eyes and an aura of darkness was surrounding her as she stomped into the room.

Ruby Rose: WHO ATE MY COOKIES?!

Me: Uh oh.

Ruby Rose: J.D., sorry to ask. But did you eat my cookies?

Me: No I was out on my routine patrol and just got back two minutes ago. What kind of cookies were they?

Ruby Rose: Oh they were triple fudge white, milk and dark chocolate chip cookies.

Me: Wow! Those sound tasty and Yang told me that you make really good cookies.

Ruby Rose: I'm glad she gives me high love for my cookies. Now I have to go find out who took them.

Me: Maybe I can help you look for them Ruby.

Ruby Rose: Thanks J.D.

Ruby went to interrogate Luan.

Ruby: Luan, did you eat my cookies?

Luan: That's the way the Cookie Crumbles. (laughs) Get it? But no I did not eat them.

Me: What were you doing?

Luan: I was counting my money I earned from a clients house for making Balloon Animals. Me and Eddy made $1,000.00. Big birthday party.

Me: Well she checks out. Luan and Eddy do awesome birthday parties for other people.

Ruby Rose: That's cool! Okay then.

We went to interrogate May.

Ruby Rose: May, did you eat my cookies?

May: No I didn't. I was making out with Nico the whole time.

Me: Aww. How is Nico doing after the whole ordeal with Rotwood and everyone inside his head?

May: He's sleeping now. Still shaken up but he will pull through.

Me: Good. I'm glad. Rotwood and his team are the first to ever go to the Warp and back. But Ruby made really good triple fudge chocolate cookies and someone swiped them all from under her nose.

May: Oh man. If I see them I'll let you know.

Ruby Rose: Thank you May.

We went to interrogate Mary Jane.

Ruby Rose: M.J., did you eat my cookies?

M.J.: No. I was with Peter helping him bust crime as Ultimate Spider Woman.

Me: Oh that's right there was a huge string of bank robberies earlier this morning. Okay you're clean.

We went to interrogate Musa.

Ruby Rose: Musa, did you eat my cookies?

Musa: No I was at a concert.

Musa showed us a video of the concert and it was awesome! They were part of a band called the Winx Club and it was awesome.

Ruby Rose: Wow! You guys are awesome!

Me: They sure are. I didn't know you girls had a band like this.

Musa: Yep. It's great.

Me: Just as good as the Rainbooms. And your music is awesome. Okay your alibi is iron clad. Ruby had her cookies swiped by someone.

Musa: Oh man. I hope she finds them.

Later we interrogated Sarah Gunnerson.

Ruby Rose: Sarah, did you eat my cookies?

Sarah: No. Making out with Tom here.

Tom was covered in lipstick marks.

Me: Aww. You two are so made for each other.

Ruby Rose: So cute.

Tom Majors: I hope you guys find them.

Next we went to interrogate Wes Collins who was training in the gym.

Ruby Rose: Wes, did you eat my cookies?

Wes: No. On a diet. Ever since I became a member of Time Squad and the Silver Guardians, I had to watch myself.

Me: I don't blame you. Got to keep that buttkicking style going.

Wes Collins: Yep.

Next we went to interrogate Emma Goodall. She was outside in the backyard taking pictures.

Ruby Rose: Emma, did you eat my cookies?

Emma: No I didn't. Out photographing wildlife.

Me: She checks out.

Later we interrogated Dante Vale. He was in his study reading.

Ruby Rose: Dante, did you eat my cookies?

Dante Vale: No. Reading books.

Me: Wow you have a lot of books here. Trying to find new titans for us to use?

Dante Vale: Yeah it's still a mystery.

Me: I see.

Later Ed was watching TV when Ruby came and she saw that he had crumbs on his face.

Ruby: Ed! I can't believe you ate my cookies!

Ed: I didn't eat them. Honest!

Ruby: Then why are there cookie crumbs near you. You prepare for the thrashing of your life!

Poromon, Poliwag, Manaphy, and Horsea were running up to Nico's room.

Poliwag: I'm so glad Ruby didn't find out it was us. We got away with the perfect crimes!

But what they didn't know is that I listened in and saw that it was really Poromon, Poliwag, Manaphy and Horsea that ate all the cookies Ruby made.

Me: (Snickers) (Whispers) Those four are so sneaky.

But then May saw that the four were eating the cookies!

May: Manaphy!

Manaphy: Mama, we can explain.

May: You are in so much trouble when Ruby finds out.

Ruby Rose then rushed up to Nico's room and she saw that they were REALLY the ones that ate her cookies!

Ruby Rose: YOU FOUR ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!

UH OH!

Later Lynn was going through a big crisis. She was going through what is called a mid-sports crisis because of something coming up. She was raking leaves all over the yard.

Lynn: There we go! [Lynn rakes a pile of leaves in the shape of the state of Michigan] Lincoln, I got all the leaves ra... [steps on piles of leaves still on the ground] Lincoln, what are all these leaves doing here? You said you were going to rake them!

Lincoln: [peeks his head out of a pile of leaves he is in] I am raking leaves as fast as I can Lynn.

Lynn: But they're still all over the ground!

Lincoln: Lynn, I can't rake any faster. [lifts up a bunch of leaves with his hands.] I'm using my hands. [leaf breaks into more pieces] And they keep breaking into more pieces and they are harder to pick up.

Lynn: [Lynn pushes him away and rakes them herself] Then go polish my gym equipment or something! We got to get this stuff done before it's too late!

Lincoln: What's the big rush anyway, Lynn?

Lynn: [hanging laundry] I told ya, bro... [scrubs the birdbath with a toothbrush] I'm going through what's called a Mid-Sports Crisis.

Lincoln: A mid-sports crisis? I've heard of a mid-life crisis but never like that.

Lynn: It's a silly term I made up. [painting the fence] It's where I have missed out on so much stuff that I want to do for the year before the winter comes.

Lincoln: But you do all the sports Lynn. And you are also on the hockey team.

Lynn: [chuckles] That's true bro. But these are all the sports that I missed out on during the Summer.

Lincoln: Oh that's totally different. But I know how you feel Lynn. There's so many things to do in the worlds of sports.

Lynn: [cleaning her goal nets] Enough chit-chat, Lincoln. We don't have much time left!

Lincoln: Why, Lynn? How much time do you have before you are satisfied? [Lynn jumps down, pulling down a giant calendar with a giant x on the 8th]

Lynn: I have one week!

Lincoln: But Lynn, that only gives us 1, 2, 3... [gasps] 7 more days of sports time!

(NOTE: This is not timeline specific.)

Lynn: You're telling me. And there's still so much stuff to do! We gotta climb some things!

Lincoln: Climb!

Lynn: We gotta jump off of stuff!

Lincoln: Jump!

Lynn: We gotta ride!

Lincoln: Ride!

Lynn: I don't want to waste my calories missing out on these sports!

Lincoln: Wait, Lynn! [Lynn begins to cry]

Lynn: I have all these sports to do!

Lincoln: Lynn?

Lynn: What?!

Lincoln: Lynn, I'm willing to sacrifice any of my time that I haven't already sold to Bill Buck to you.

Lynn: Well, I'm glad, Lincoln, 'cause for the next seven days, it's gonna be you, me, and these sweatbands! [holds them up.] [Pantera playing] [Cut to the Sleeping Bear Dunes National Park. Lynn is riding a Sand Shredding Board smashing through a sign] Yeah! [sliding down the dune so fast that she is now on fire. She leaves a trail of fire that turns part of the mountain into glass. She rides past a man with a backpack on his back. When she goes past him, he drops to the ground and rolls around cause he is on fire. She then rides past a man and a woman. The woman now wears a jogging outfit and the man is now riding a tricycle and holding a lollipop and paddleball. The woman looks at him]

Unnamed Man #1: Uh... I can explain. [Lynn flips in mid-air, still on fire]

Lynn: I'm hotter than dad's eggs and hickory-smoked sausages! Woo-hoo! [Lincoln is wearing his orange karate head gear and riding down the mountain on own sand dune shredboard. Cut to two kids, building a sandman]

Girl: Maybe, if we sing that song, he'll come to life.

Billy: Ready?

Both: [singing] Oh, there once was a sandman... [Lincoln rides into the sandman. a musical note pops up]

Lincoln: Life's as extreme as you want to make it! [jumps off the mountain] Whoo!

Girl: Maybe we didn't sing it right. [Lincoln is flying toward the ground. When he hits it, (CRUNCH!) two bones are sticking out]

OUCH!

Lincoln: Yeah. [cut to Lynn and Lincoln standing outside the estate] Whew, what a workout. [pulls out his right arm and shows its damages] I'm going to be feeling this tomorrow. [his arm falls to the ground] Ow.

Lynn: I got to say, I'm impressed with you, Stinkoln. You're making this the best sports crisis week ever.

Lincoln: Well, we'd better get to bed so I can catch up on some comics before hitting the sack. [sighs as he lifts up his left leg and moves it alternately with the other over to his house. Later, it's nighttime and he is finally crawling into bed] Good night, Charles. [falls asleep. Then Lynn pushes a button which launches Lincoln out of his bed and into a lake. Lincoln is now a block of ice and he is shivering. Lynn jumps in and becomes a block of ice]

Lynn: Nothing like a refreshing morning dip, huh, Stinkoln?

Lincoln: [shivering] W-what h-happened to s-sleeping? [Lynn pulls down a calendar]

Lynn: I still have a lot of time left! We only got three days for fun. [swims away] Well, hurry now! The giant salmon like to feed at this hour! [cut to Lincoln lifting a bowling ball into a tube. Lynn blows her whistle giving the signal and Lincoln runs to the end and picks up a few jacks before the bowling ball hits him on his head. Lynn does the same thing but the bowling ball hit her on the head] Isn't this great?

Lincoln: Yeah! I've never played extreme jacks before! [cut to Lynn and Lincoln with giant q-tips]

Lynn: Okay, Stinkoln, this one's going to be fun. We just whack each other with these giant q-tips 'til one of us falls off. [lifts hers up] On your mark... get set...

Lincoln: Lynn, are you sure we're supposed to be standing up here?

Lynn: Go! [hits Lincoln off the Gotham Royal York Space Needle. Lincoln crashes into the ground]

CRASH!

[Lincoln is in a hole and he is really hurt and he gets up. Lynn rides up on a two-seated bike]

Lynn: Come on, Lincoln. We're going for a tandem ride through the park!

Lincoln: Gee, that sounds safe! I mean, fun. [gets up but leaves a little blood on the ground. He jumps on the bike] Okay, I'm ready! [Pantera Plays] [They rush away] I thought you said we were riding through the park, Lynn!

Lynn: I did, Stinkoln, the industrial park! [they ride into a giant factory] This is where the real action is! [Lynn pedals on barbed wire] This part gets pretty technical! YEAH BABY! Now for the speed course. Hold on! [they ride through a conveyor belt with a giant crunching mouth at the end] I hope we make it! [bike begins to fall to the ground fast. Lincoln screams] I'm having fun, too! (CRASH!) [as they hit the ground, Lincoln melts into a puddle. Lynn tosses a fishing rod on him] Wake up, slowpoke. [scene scrolls over to show a plane] We're going fly-fishing. [rimshot]

Luan: (Offscreen) (Laughs) GOOD ONE LYNN!

Lincoln: [thinking] This girl's trying to kill me! Any more of these stunts and I'll be reduced to a pile of bloody mush! [sees his shoe floating] Wait a minute, I've got to talk my way out of this! (Out Loud) Lynn, I think I need to tell you something.

Lynn: What is it?

Lincoln: Well, it's just that I'm feeling sort of... [his mouth melts away from his eyes. He pulls it back up] I just feel like maybe I need to... [his mouth melts away again. Lynn puts her hand over his mouth]

Lynn: Hold that thought, Stinkoln! 'Cause it's time for a one of my favorites! [holds up a piece of hay.] Find the hay in the giant needle stack! [throws it in a giant pile of huge needles] [Pantera plays again]

GULP!

Lincoln: [bites his fingers in fear. Cut to inside the giant needle pile where Lincoln is saying "ow" as he gets pricked and stabbed by the huge needles. One needle pricks his nose, causing it to deflate like a balloon. Deep voice] Ouch...

He was bleeding like crazy and had wounds all over.

Lynn: Did you find it?

Lynn too had scratches all over the place.

Lincoln: Not yet.

Lynn: Well I'm going to look over here!

Lincoln: You do that. [Lincoln digs a hole underground then emerges]

Lynn: Found it, Stinkoln! [Lincoln runs away] Come on! Best two out of three.

Lincoln: Gotta hide! Uh-G-Gotta hide! [looks at his house] Home? No. Leni can't keep a secret. [looks at Lisa's bunker] In Lisa's Bunker? It's so original! [as he jumps for the bunker, his pants get stuck on a small bramble bush]

Lynn: Stinkoln?! [Lincoln struggles to get free and eventually does, but leaves his pants stuck on the plant] Stinkoln? [Lincoln types in the bunker code which was Lisa's birthday and he went into the bunker and hid good.] [Lynn walks up to Lincoln's pants] Where are you, little bro? [gasps] Lincoln's pants! But... but... he always folds his clothes before running around... in his underwear! Something terrible must have happened to him!

Later at Lynn's Table.

[crunching and munching]

Lynn: Alright, listen up, everyone! I'm rounding up a search party! Lincoln's gone missing! [Mr. Grouse smiles at Lynn Sr., thinking that Lynn Sr. will not look for Lincoln. Lynn Sr. gives Mr. Grouse an angry look.]

Lynn Sr.: [Mr. Grouse frowns because they will search for Lincoln] Man the lifeboats!

Lynn: Alpha Team, you search uptown, Gold Team searches downtown. Any questions?

Frank: Gold Team rules!

Brain Freezer: Sorry, Lynn. We'd like to help you find Lincoln. But I have to go recruit Blizzard.

Webstor: I'm heading out to recruit Bonz after I bring him back with a Dark Orb.

Vanitas: And I'm heading out to recruit Pete.

Lynn: Oh darn.

Robo Blaze: We'll help you find Lincoln, Lynn.

Electro: But leave everyone else out of this search.

Lynn: Okay Now get moving! [crowd yelling] [Fred put a Lost poster with a picture of Lincoln] Lincoln? [Cuts to Sandy and the search party] Someone look up there! [Lynn pops out of a sewer] Put your behinds and backs into it! [cut to searching in the sulfur fields of Yellowstone] Come on! He could be anywhere in these Yellowstone sulfur fields! [Clay looks in a spout]

Clay: Hey, Lincoln! [a blast of sulfur hits him in the face] Well…, at least I still have my personality.

Sandy: Check in this moist cave right here! [Old Man Jenkins, Nathaniel and Scooter walk in shouting for Lincoln then run out, realizing the cave is actually a three-eyed dragon elephant]

Lynn: Status report!

Man 1: [covered in Poison ivy leaves] He's not at the Poison Ivy Vine Forest.

Lynn: Well, look again!

Vera: [covered in Rattlesnakes] He's not at the Rattlesnake Farm.

Lynn: Well, look again!

Mr. Grouse: He's not in my thoughts even though you did help me during Christmas.

Lynn: Well, think again! [cut to Lynn talking into a megaphone] Attention, Gotham Royal York, the time has come to double, no, triple our efforts!

Mr. Grouse: How about a break?! We've been at it for days!

Gale: Think about the children!

Lynn: That's a good idea! Use the children to crawl into small places you couldn't normally reach.

Frank: [whispering to Sadie] This is a load of potato chips.

Lynn: I heard that! No one's going anywhere until we find Lincoln!

Frank: Uh... uh, wait! [picks up Francis] Uh, here he is!

Lynn: That ain't Lincoln! Lincoln is white hair and wears an orange shirt!

[Frank shapes Francis into Lincoln]

Lincoln: [in a poor imitation of Lincoln] I'm Lincoln Loud and I like comic books and video games and I have lightning powers.

Lynn: No you don't [Clay holds up a box of Cookie-O]

Clay: I found SquareBob!

Lynn: That's just a cereal box. Besides, he has white hair.

Charlie: [holds up a bunch of marshmallows] Uh... here he is! Hey, can I go home now? [Lynn becomes annoyed]

Tina: [points up] Oh, look! He's up in the sky! [Lynn happily looks up, but Lincoln's not in the sky]

Lynn: He's not...huh? [everyone is gone] They must have gone to search some more. [Lynn continues searching for Lincoln] Lincoln, where are you?! [lifts up a house] You under there?! [lifts up another house] Nope! [lifts up another house where the unnamed man from before is at]

Unnamed Man #1: Uhh, I can explain.

Lynn: [lifts up another house] Lincoln?! [lifts up another house] Nope! [lifts up another house] Nope! [lifts up another house] Nope! Lincoln, where are you?!

Unnamed man #9: [everyone is looking at Lynn] That girl's gone crazy.

Woman: But she'll never look in this bunker.

Lincoln: [laughs] You said it! Lynn'll never find us! [everyone glares at Lincoln and throws him out] Hey, wait, you don't understand!

Mr. Grouse: [pops out from under the rock] (Whispers) Sorry about this Lincoln. (Loudly) Oh, look, it is I, Lincoln, out here in the open. [Lynn turns around]

Lynn: Lincoln?

Lincoln: [screams in horror and skulls and crossbones form in his eyes and a foghorn was heard] Come on, let me back in! You don't understand! [Lynn hugs Lincoln]

Lynn: Oh, Lincoln, I was so worried! I thought something terrible happened! [grabs his arm] Come on. There's just enough time to go atom smashing. [Lynn runs but Lincoln is not moving]

Lincoln: Lynn, wait!

Lynn: There's no time to wait! Sports Life Crisis! [pulls on Lincoln's arm]

Electro: Sports Life Crisis? Is that was this is about.

Lincoln: Lynn, you've got to make time! This is important! [Lynn lets go of Lincoln's arm] I...am a man! [holds up a razor] (To Electro) Yeah Lynn is going through a Sports Life Crisis. She wants to do all the sports she wanted to do during the Summer before the Winter came.

Electro: Oh man.

Lincoln: Okay, Lynn, I...I...I...I...I can't play with you anymore! I just can't take the games! They're tearing me apart! [rips off his shirt and throws it on the ground, then holds onto Lynn's legs crying]

Electro: Poor kid. But man look what happened to him.

Mr. Grouse: Yeah he looks like he went through World War II 100-fold.

Electro: Just what I was thinking.

But then Lynn fell down and fell asleep.

Lincoln: [He notices Lynn has fallen asleep] Lynn? [chuckles a little] I never thought I'd say it, but thank goodness she fell asleep! [laughs and falls asleep]

Electro: Man these two really were tired.

Electro picked them up and took them into the estate and put them in bed. Everyone went home. Lincoln was bandaged up and all that.

Lily: So Lincoln went through the same thing I did with Sandy?

Electro: I guess he did. Was Sandy going through a Hibernation Crisis?

Lily: Yeah she and I did all the things she wanted to do before she went to sleep for the entire winter.

Electro: Wow. So what happened in sea was like what happened here on Land. I hope Lincoln gets better.

Lily: He'll be all right. Whoa I got to get to work.

Lily went to the Krusty Krab and he told SpongeBob everything that happened with Lincoln.

SpongeBob: So Lincoln and Lynn went through the same thing you did with Sandy when she was hibernating?

Lily: Yeah and Lincoln got hurt all over the place really bad. Not nearly as bad as me but just as bad.

SpongeBob: Wow. Lincoln is a good brother.

Lily: That's my big bro for you.

THE END


Another awesome fanfic done.

Prehibernation Week of SpongeBob was an awesome and funny episode! Pantera did a great job in the episode and it aired on May 5th, 2001 and it was so funny! NicoChan11, gave me the ideas for this. Thanks man. Next up is Veterans Day and we're going to not only appreciate our fellow soldiers and veterans that have served our country but also we're going into battle against the evil aliens that are from the awesome movie BATTLESHIP! It's also based on the awesome board game I used to play back when I was a kid. We're going to test our skills in the running of battleships and more.

See you all tomorrow.