A/N: I make no apologies for the amount of Taylor Swift-related chapter titles I've used and will continue to use in the future.
Rory still felt this terrible kind of ache whenever she looked at Harry, but it no longer felt like it was going to kill her. They had spoken a few times, mostly about Dumbledore's Army. Never about anything that was important.
It was awful. Rory felt awful. And there was a nasty side effect that came with breaking up with Harry Potter in the aftermath of his Quibbler tell-all. Suddenly, his popularity level was back on the rise and Rory seethed a little when she saw girls staring after him.
Not that she had any right to still be jealous. She was the one who'd broken up with him after all. But she knew Harry. He wasn't going to hate the attention. And while she wanted him to be sad and miserable forever for completely stomping on her heart by kissing Cho Chang, she knew that was not a realistic expectation.
The biggest problem with breaking up with Harry was that she still seemed to think about him every single day and it was driving her to insanity. On the flip side, Harry didn't seem to be too bothered by the breakup anymore. Rory was still stumbling over her words every time she spoke to him during the DA meeting, her inside mixed up with longing and anger. But it all seemed to come so easily to Harry still. Maybe he was able to shut it all off and move past it.
And that was scary. It had only been two weeks and he was fine? Meanwhile, she still hadn't quite got her bearings now that she didn't have him around anymore. It felt a little like learning to walk again.
All she had going on now was studying for her OWLs and getting through her assignments. Thank goodness she had choir otherwise she might lose her mind.
"D'you know who asked me about you today?" Ara said as they waited for Flitwick to arrive at rehearsal that night.
"Who?" Rory asked.
"Cormac McLaggen," she said. Rory groaned. Ara laughed. "He's good-looking, but his head is empty."
"I think I've told him as much," Rory said.
"Maybe he thinks you've lowered your standards now that you've broken it off with Harry. Or maybe he thinks he's gotten smarter since then. It's definitely not the latter," Ara said. "I've seen his marks in Charms and it's nothing impressive."
Rory chuckled as Flitwick walked into the room. She was about to greet him when she saw Umbridge trailing in behind him carrying a small stack of papers.
"Oh, here we fucking go," Stephen whispered behind Rory.
"What could she possibly want?" Rory wondered.
"Hello, students. Before you get started today, Professor Umbridge has an announcement to make," Flitwick said.
She smiled her venomous smile. "Thank you, Professor. Good evening, children. I trust you're doing well."
Rory could practically feel Ara resist the urge to level some snarky remark at her.
"Six weeks from now, the first Monday following the Easter holidays, the Minister of Magic will be paying a visit to see how well things have improved here. He's always been fond of the Hogwarts choir and so, as a treat, I've promised that you would perform that evening when he joins us for dinner," Umbridge said.
Rory felt herself relax. She didn't like the idea of performing for Fudge, but worse things had happened.
"I want it to celebrate Hogwarts. Songs that represent the school and the traits of its houses," she said. She flicked her wand and the papers she'd been carrying distributed themselves among the students. "Here is a list of appropriate and approved list of suggested songs. I'll check in with you again before the holidays to assess your progress."
"Thank you Professor Umbridge, and we are delighted that you've thought of us," Professor Flitwick said.
Umbridge gave one last smile before leaving.
"Professor Flitwick, have you seen this list?" Ara asked. "These songs are ancient."
"I haven't even heard of some of these," Susan said.
"Do we have to use these songs?" Stephen asked. "I don't think she realizes these'll probably even put Cornelius Fudge to sleep."
"Now, now, we don't want to go instigating any trouble," Flitwick said.
"I mean… She did say they were 'suggested' songs," Rory said casually.
"Yeah. We can use a few of hers and then spice up the rest. That's what we did for Valentine's Day. I don't think anyone was even paying attention to us until Rory and Stephen did the 'Don't Go Breaking My Heart' cover," Ara said.
There were mumbles of agreement from the room.
"Alright," Flitwick said, "but these songs are the priority."
"Absolutely," Stephen said.
They spent the majority of rehearsal that night testing out different songs from the list and brainstorming ideas for unlisted songs that might fit within the theme Umbridge had given them.
"Hey, Rory."
Just as she stepped into the corridor, Stephen found her.
"Hey," she replied.
"You alright? Usually you don't miss an opportunity to have a go at Umbridge," he said.
"Doing my best to stay out of her way these days," she said. "I don't have the energy for it, anyway."
"Can I walk you to your tower?" he offered.
"It's on the complete opposite side of the castle from yours," Rory said.
"Yeah, but you look like you've got a lot weighing on you," he said. "Happy to help you unload it."
Truthfully, Rory was glad for the company. She felt heavy. She motioned for Stephen to walk with her.
"It's not just today, you know," he said. "You've been kind of out of it since Valentine's Day."
"Probably because my boyfriend stood me up on our date," Rory said. "Ex-boyfriend now I guess."
"What happened, if you don't mind me asking," Stephen asked.
Rory sighed. "Harry Potter sucks is what happened. It was a long time coming. I should've just ended it when he didn't show up for our date."
"Sorry," he said. "What was the final straw then?"
Rory hadn't mentioned what happened to anyone else aside from her immediate friends. She didn't want people to think badly of him. But Stephen wasn't exactly known for being a gossip.
"I saw him kissing Cho after a DA meeting," she said.
"Really?" Stephen asked.
"You're not the only one shocked by that turn of events," she said looking down at her feet.
"I hate to say it, but it makes an unfortunate amount of sense," he said.
"So it has been obvious to everyone that she's interested in him?" she asked.
Stephen nodded. "Sorry."
"Don't be sorry. It's not like you did anything wrong," Rory said.
"Just feel bad. You're usually so... I don't know. You have a certain energy, especially in choir. Now you just seem..." Stephen trailed off.
"Heartbroken and depressed?" she asked. "It's because I am. Meanwhile, he looks as if he doesn't have a care in the world. People have been practically throwing roses at his feet since that article came out. Cho aside, I'm sure he has a wealth of prospects, so why even care that I ended things."
"He's an idiot if he thinks that way," Stephen said.
"He's an idiot either way," she said with a bitter chuckle.
"I kind of can't believe Cho let it happen to be honest. What kind of person chases after someone who's seeing someone?" Stephen asked.
Rory almost said something that was incredibly unkind, so she kept her mouth closed instead.
"Well, he's not seeing anyone now, so far be it from me to stop her pursuit," she said.
Stephen chuckled. "Honestly, aside from the whole being depressed and mopey thing, I think you're taking this pretty well. When I broke up with Lisa in October she threw a vase at me."
"Why'd you break up?" Rory asked.
"Because she's the type of girl who will throw a vase at you if you break up with her," he replied.
Rory nodded. "Point taken."
They chatted the rest of the walk to her dorm and Rory felt surprisingly normal for once. There was still that lingering feeling of sadness sitting in the middle of her chest, but she still felt more normal.
When Rory got back to the common room, everyone was buzzing.
"What's going on?" Rory asked Neville.
"Professor Trelawney's been sacked," he said.
Rory frowned. So that was it then. It had finally happened.
"You don't look surprised," he said. "You knew?"
Rory nodded. "For a while."
"Trelawney seemed blindsided," Neville said.
"It's horrible," she said.
"Umbridge tried to throw her out of the castle, but Dumbledore showed up and told her she could keep on living here," Neville said.
Rory rolled her eyes and kept back a snide remark about Dumbledore finally showing up and being helpful to someone this year. He'd practically been a ghost since summer.
"He's got a replacement lined up and everything," Neville said. "Firenze. That centaur from the Forbidden Forest."
"Really?" Rory asked. Neville nodded. "Well, that's something I didn't predict. Be interesting at least. Centaurs do divination very differently from Trelawney."
"Is that why you do it differently?" Neville asked.
Rory shrugged. "I think I'm just an anomaly altogether." She was reminded of the conversation she'd had with Tonks over the summer, about how Rory's talents were, in terms of divination, a sign that bad things were to come. But also how it meant that she would be a powerful seer and look very enticing to Voldemort.
Either way, neither of those things was something she wanted to worry Neville about.
Their first divination class with Firenze was interesting. Harry remembered Rory telling him how all over the place Firenze was when she had her lessons with him last year, but seeing in person how vague and weird he was really put things into perspective. But it also explained why most of the time Rory fixated on auras and how she sometimes only got the impression that something was going to happen without seeing it clearly in her head.
He had to stop doing that. Thinking about Rory for no reason. They were broken up after all.
Even so, he sat on the grass floor of the classroom, which had been enchanted to look like the forest, and couldn't help but watch her watching Firenze.
Harry was struggling to pay attention to Firenze himself, and even if he could really focus he wasn't sure he'd fully understand. Not to mention, Parvati and Lavender were giggling over how good-looking Firenze was almost the entire class.
When class was over, Firenze pulled Harry aside and had him pass on a message to Hagrid.
"His attempt is not working and he would do better to abandon it."
"What does that mean?" Ron asked as they walked to care of magical creatures.
"I have no idea," Harry said. "I'm sure it's got something to do with why Hagrid looks so banged up all the time."
"Do you think-?" Hermione cut herself short.
"What?" Harry asked.
"Do you think Rory knows what Hagrid's been up to?" Hermione asked.
Harry sighed. "You're allowed to talk about her, you know? It's not as if she stopped existing."
"Right," Hermione said. "It's just… Weird. And we don't like seeing you upset."
"Do I seem upset?" Harry asked.
"Yes," Hermione replied.
He was upset because he still thought about her all the time even though he still boiled thinking about those last few days they were together.
"Even if we've broken up I know our lives are going to intersect. We've got classes together. And the DA. And everything," Harry said. He hoped the more he saw her and heard her name the more it would all start to fade away and she'd just be another person who existed in his life.
Hermione nodded. "Sorry… But like I said. Do you think she knows?"
Harry shook his head. "I asked her once before if she knew what was going on with Hagrid and she said she intentionally wasn't going to look because she didn't want to know what was going to happen like with Trelawney."
Ron and Hermione both gasped
"She knew Trelawney was getting sacked?" Hermione asked.
Harry nodded. "She's known almost all year."
Ron shook his head. "It feels a lot like Rory's a better seer than she lets on most of the time."
Harry said nothing because yes, Rory was a better seer than she let on. Tonks had told her that her abilities, among the seer community, labeled her as a "harbinger of death." Even Rory's mother had abandoned her over this. And the added fact that this would make her an enticing target for Voldemort was also something he wanted to keep quiet. She'd told him not to tell anyone this, so he hadn't, even now. Especially since Rory hadn't told anyone aside from Neville and Matilda why they'd broken up.
It'd taken Harry a while to figure out that she hadn't said anything. Most of his classmates suspected that it had something to do with Cho, but no one had come out and said that Harry had kissed her. They only assumed that Cho was the reason they'd broken up. Although in retrospect Harry saw about a dozen reasons he should've been doing the breaking up.
Another thing he hadn't expected was the letter from Remus. Harry had dreaded opening it, but instead, it had been oddly comforting. Remus reassured him that, though they'd had their issues in the past while was with Rory, the fact that they were broken up was not going to ruin their relationship in any way and that he was going to continue to look out for Harry the same way he looked out for his own daughter. Harry did suspect that this would be easier to do now that he wasn't dating Rory anymore.
Surely, Rory's own dad would be furious finding out that Harry had kissed another girl and not send him a reassuring letter.
He was curious about why Rory hadn't said anything, but then again, that was kind of just who Rory was. She'd want to put all of this behind her and not deal with the drama of it. She wouldn't want people trash-talking Cho to her, trash-talking Harry to her, or bugging her at all about their relationship. People had seen that she and Harry were shaky. Best to let them assume they'd just fallen through because at the end of the day, that's what had really happened.
After classes, he walked himself to the library. OWLs were coming up and he really was trying to get some studying done.
"Need some company?"
Harry looked up and Cho stood there across from him at the table.
They hadn't spoken since that day in the Room of Requirement. He supposed they'd have to talk about things eventually.
Harry nodded. "Sure."
She took a seat across from him and started to pull out her school books.
"What are you studying for?" Harry asked.
"Just about everything," Cho replied. "You?"
Harry nodded. "The same. OWLs and all that."
"They're not fun, but NEWTs are supposed to be awful," Cho replied.
"I'm sure you'll do fine. You pick up things in the DA pretty quickly," Harry said.
Cho gave him a gentle smile. "Well, you're a good teacher."
Harry shrugged. "I do my best."
Cho's smile widened a bit, but then she looked down at her books.
"About what happened," Cho said. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"
Harry shook his head. "Rory was going to break up with me whether or not I kissed you." The more he thought about it, the more he realized he might've broken up with her if they'd actually had their conversation that evening. He'd been so upset. He'd finally started to admit that Rory was partially responsible for why things hadn't been going well, instead of shouldering the blame for everything.
"I think things were pretty much done on Valentine's Day," Harry admitted. "It actually helped talking to you after the meeting that day. I don't think I'd actually told anyone how frustrated I was. Not even Rory."
"Well, like I told you. I'm happy to talk," Cho said.
Harry's immediate instinct was to say that it wasn't a good idea. But then he remembered he had no jealous girlfriend waiting in the wings. Why shouldn't he talk to Cho?
"I appreciate that," Harry said. She smiled again and Harry looked at her, really looked at her, for the first time in forever. He'd forgotten how pretty she was. He hadn't bothered to really look at anyone while he was with Rory. But he wasn't with her anymore. "What are you doing tomorrow?"
Rory was kicking ass in Divination. She had a considerable advantage, obviously, but with Firenze in the classroom, she was thriving. The first week with him as her teacher had lifted her spirits somewhat. She was feeling a little more normal now.
Unfortunately, it had also distracted her. She meant to write out the lesson plan for the next DA meeting so that Ron could give it to Harry, but it had slipped her mind. She was all over the place these days.
But even though it made her chest ache to even be near Harry, she had to give him the lesson plan. And this would be a good way to see if she could be normal around him now that she was starting to feel more normal herself.
After dinner, Dean told her that Harry was in the library, where he'd been almost every evening for the last week. Rory noticed his absence and didn't know how she should feel about it one way or the other. On the one hand, she wanted to spend as little time with him as possible. On the other hand, it was kind of comforting knowing he was around. But maybe he was avoiding seeing her, which was fair.
She rehearsed what she was going to say over and over so she didn't stumble over her words. She meandered around the library to find Harry. When finally found him sitting at a table alone, scratching his quill against his paper at the end of a row of books, she steeled herself for the conversation. She took one step forward and then froze. Because suddenly he wasn't alone anymore.
Cho sat down beside him chatting away. Harry laughed at whatever she said.
And then he kissed her.
Rory felt like she was back in the Room of Requirement all over again. Harry looked up from the table and Rory retreated as quickly and calmly as she was able. She could not do this. She barely held it together as she left the library. She went back to Gryffindor tower and went directly to her dorm. Matilda, Parvati, and Lavender were all there. But Rory ignored them and sat on her bed.
"You okay, Rory?" Matilda asked.
Rory kicked her shoes off and curled up on her bed. She pulled the curtains closed, buried her face in her pillow, and sobbed. Matilda climbed in through the curtains.
"What happened?" she asked.
"I don't want to talk about it," Rory said.
Matilda placed a hand on her back. She didn't say anything. She just sat with Rory and let her cry. When she was all cried out, she released Matilda so that she could lie in her bed alone and try to study. Mostly, she absently turned through the pages of her transfiguration book.
When Hermione returned from perfect duty, Rory supposed she'd better give up on studying and change into pajamas. But there was a knock on the door.
Rory already knew who it was.
"Rory," Hermione said.
Rory wiped her face again, although there was no hiding that she'd spent most of the last hour crying. She climbed out of her bed and saw Harry at the door.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked.
Instead of asking him how he possibly had the audacity to show up to her room to talk to her, she got out of her bed and walked over to the door. He took a step back so she walked into the corridor and pulled the door closed.
"Are you okay?" he asked. "You look like you've been crying."
"What do you want, Harry?" she asked.
"I saw you in the library," he said.
"I gathered that," she said.
"I just... It looked like you were going to come over," he said.
"I forgot to give Ron the lesson plan for the DA meeting, so I was going to give it to you myself," Rory said. "But then I didn't want to interrupt your date."
Harry sighed. "Right. I was wondering if you'd seen-."
"You kissing? Yep. Not the first time. Can hardly be surprised, can I?" Rory said not making any effort to keep the bitterness out of her voice.
"I planned on telling you," he said.
"That Cho's your new girlfriend?" Rory asked.
After a brief pause, Harry nodded.
Fighting back the urge to just start sobbing right then and there, she took a deep breath.
"Well, you can date whoever you want. I broke up with you, remember?" Rory reminded him.
"Sure, but I didn't want you to find out like... Like that," Harry said.
"Whoops," she said with a shrug.
"Rory," he said exasperatedly. "I know how it looks, but it just-."
"It just happened?" Rory scoffed. "Why exactly did you come to tell me this?"
"I thought it would be the courteous thing to do," Harry said. "And I should've told you before."
"Harry, what do you want me to say? 'Thanks for giving a shit about how it might make me feel to see you with Cho now that I've broken up with you?'"
"That's not fair," Harry said.
Rory laughed humorlessly. "You know what's not fair? That you told me over and over and over again that you didn't like Cho at all. And then I saw you kissing her and after I broke up with you, three very short weeks ago, you decided to just go ahead and date her."
"It didn't happen that way, Rory. I'm not dating her to spite you," he said.
"And why should I believe you, after everything?" she asked.
Harry groaned, clearly done with the conversation. "You know what? You don't have to believe me. I came here because I wanted you to hear about Cho from me and not someone else."
Rory shook her head. "No, you came here to assuage yourself of whatever guilt you feel for going back on every single thing you ever said to me about her."
"Merlin, you know it's absolutely not like that," he said.
"Harry, I don't know shit anymore. I thought I knew you, but you're practically a stranger now, so how would I possibly know what your intent is right now? Right now, it feels like you came here just to rub my face in this," she said.
"You really think I'm the kind of person who would do that?" Harry asked.
"I didn't think you were the kind of person who would go and kiss another girl after very adamantly telling me that you didn't like her, so anything's possible as far as I'm concerned," she said.
Harry looked fed up, more fed up than Rory had ever seen him look before. He snapped at her. "Have you considered for even a moment that maybe I wouldn't have done it if you'd bothered to trust me instead of acting like a jealous crazy person? Where did you expect things to go, Rory?"
Rory wanted to be angry. She wanted to scream at him. Hit him. Hex him into next week. But instead, she just hurt. She hurt like the day they broke up all over again. Maybe even worse now. Was it her fault? Had she pushed him right into Cho's arms? Tears clouded her eyes.
She pushed open her bedroom door. "Do me a favor: don't pay me any more courtesy visits and go fuck yourself," she said. Slammed the door in his face, and climbed back into her bed, hiding behind the curtains. She buried her face in a pillow and went back to crying.
She knew it was going to happen. He'd kissed Cho. Did Rory think he was just going to pretend that it didn't happen? Of course not. She felt so stupid. She knew this would happen and it still blindsided her. They hadn't even been broken up for a month and he'd already moved on. Together for over a year and he moved on just like that. Maybe he'd already moved on before they'd broken up.
Maybe it was Rory's fault that they were broken up after all.
If Harry was being honest with himself, he'd handled things with Rory in the worst way possible. She didn't give him any opportunity to apologize. She'd eaten breakfast so early that he only saw her as she was leaving. She skipped lunch and Umbridge's class. She ate dinner quickly and then left.
Harry knew he'd see her at the DA meeting that night though. Or he had expected her to.
"She's not coming," Hermione said after he'd gotten everyone started practicing.
"Thought she'd at least show up for this," Harry said.
"I know you told her about Cho, but how exactly did you tell her?" Hermione asked.
He'd been dreading telling Hermine about this. She was definitely just going to scold him. He'd had enough scolding for a year.
"She saw me with Cho in the library," Harry said. Hermione frowned. "Don't look at me like that. I know."
"No wonder she was so upset," Hermione said.
"I think she was going to be upset regardless, Hermione," Harry pointed out. "But she saw us so I went to go talk to her. To apologize that she saw us kiss in the library-." Hermione whacked him upside the head. "I know!"
"You're hopeless," Hermione said. "Rory's going to predict something about you being in mortal peril and she's going to keep it to herself because you're a hopeless idiot. You at least have to be able to be cordial with each other."
"Again, I know. And like I said, I tried to talk to her, but she was not having it," Harry said. "Which in retrospect may've been warranted because from her perspective I can see how she might think I was being spiteful."
"So if she was upset why didn't you just walk away?" Hermione asked.
"Right... I may've also gotten frustrated with her just going off on me, and I... might've told her that I probably wouldn't have kissed Cho if she hadn't been so jealous all of the time," Harry said. Hermione's jaw dropped and she whacked him upside the head again.
"You told her it was her fault you kissed Cho?" Hermione asked. "Merlin, Harry. No wonder she skipped classes and the meeting. Why on Earth would she want to be around you?"
Harry glanced across the room to Cho. She spotted him and smiled. He smiled back, but it felt a little hollow. He liked Cho, but things were new and she was an entirely different person than Rory, so of course things felt different. And he felt bad for hurting Rory's feelings because, ex-girlfriend or not, whether he felt like there was some truth in what he'd said, that was a pretty shitty thing to say to her.
Harry had to apologize. He knew if he didn't it was going to eat at him, and that would probably be distracting, and he did not need to be distracted by his ex-girlfriend when he had a perfectly lovely girlfriend who probably didn't want him distracted by another girl.
Rory should've been sleeping. She'd tried, but she felt miserable. She spent all night crying, and the next morning just replaying Harry's words in her head. She couldn't look at him. She was even willing to incur the wrath of Umbridge by skipping her class all so she didn't have to see Harry.
Her brain wouldn't shut off even though she was exhausted. She was alone, in the common room rereading her notes, her textbook open beside her, scribbling additional notes in her notebook. She just had to distract herself until she was too tired to stay awake.
She couldn't help but think it was all her fault that she was miserable now. If she hadn't been so jealous of Cho, Harry wouldn't have kissed her. She drove him away. It was all on her.
"Hey."
Rory was startled away from her studying and turned her head to the stairs. Harry was standing there.
"I saw you were down here on the map," Harry said.
"Un-fucking-believable," she said. "Did anything about my behavior today somehow suggest to you that I want to talk to you?"
"We need to talk. Actually, talk without yelling at each other," he said.
"Maybe you wouldn't have yelled at me if I had just said 'thanks for telling me about your new girlfriend. I'm totally fine with it,'" Rory said, rolling her eyes.
"I shouldn't have said that to you yesterday," Harry said. He walked over and sat beside her on the couch. He felt too close, This felt too familiar. And she was too angry and sad to let herself feel comfortable beside him right now. "And maybe you were right. Maybe I only came to tell you about Cho yesterday because I felt guilty. And maybe I feel guilty now too."
"It's not my responsibility to ease your conscience, Harry," Rory said firmly.
"I know. You have every right to not want to see or speak to me ever again," Harry said.
"And I don't," Rory said. It was too painful. She didn't want to sit beside him or talk to him or look at him. It just made her hurt.
"I don't think you actually want that. Maybe you don't one hundred percent agree with that right now but, we were friends once before. Before all this," Harry said.
"All this?" she scoffed. "That's putting it lightly."
"Rory, I'm trying here," he said.
"Trying to what?" she asked.
"Trying to... Fix this," he said.
"Fix what?" she asked, her eyes filling with tears. She tried to bite it back and she hated that she couldn't.
"I want us to be able to be friends," he said.
"Why do you want to be friends with your 'jealous crazy person' of an ex-girlfriend?" Rory asked. She pulled her legs up to her chest and sat her chin on her knees. "I wanted to fix things before we got here. But now Cho's your girlfriend and there's nothing to fix."
Harry opened his mouth to talk, but then stopped. He thought for a moment before he talked again. "I don't know that we could've fixed things before, Rory." She looked over at him. "I know that you wanted to talk that day, but... I don't think we'd still be together on the other side of that."
"You don't?" Rory asked.
Harry took a deep breath. "Rory, I don't think I'd want us to be together after that conversation."
For the third time in as many weeks, Rory felt like Harry had stomped on her heart, and blindsided her.
"Oh," she said.
"I always felt like I was working so hard to make you happy and nothing I did was ever good enough," he said. "I didn't know how to convince you that everything you were thinking was so far from the truth."
"Well, she's your girlfriend now, so I don't think it was that far off," Rory said. She kept telling herself that
Harry shrugged. "I guess that's fair... But I don't think it's fair to assume that it was always that way, because he wasn't. But I think you thought it was."
A tear rolled down her cheek and she wiped it away quickly. He was right about that. Rory always felt like it would just take a little nudge in Cho's direction to take Harry away. Cho was older, she played Quidditch, and she was so pretty. Harry spent a lot of time telling Rory that she was perfect, but she never felt that way. He was just waiting around for him to see it. And he had. And even if he'd never kissed Cho, her attempt to repair their relationship would've failed. Because Harry had seen every imperfection in her and would have probably decided that he couldn't deal with it.
"I shouldn't have kissed Cho that night. No matter how I was feeling about us. But I genuinely don't think things would've turned out differently if we'd talked that night."
Rory disagreed. But it didn't matter. Harry had his new girlfriend who wasn't crazy and jealous and who trusted him. He was over it. He'd been over it. Over her.
"Well, thank you for seeking me out to tell me this," she said.
"No, Rory, I really... I don't want things to be like this. Especially because we're going to... With Sirius and Voldemort and Umbridge-."
"I get it," Rory said. "But that doesn't mean we have to be friends."
"But we should at least be able to be around each other," he said. "I'm not doing the DA without you. I meant it when I said that. I need your help. I can't... I can't do it without you. I'm sorry I was a jerk, but don't take it out on everyone else."
Rory had told Neville something similar after they first broke up. It wasn't fair to throw everyone under the bus just because things with Harry were awful.
"I'll come to the next meeting if you promise not to bother me again before that," Rory said.
Harry nodded. "Thank you. I really do want to-."
"Harry there's nothing left to fix," she repeated. She wiped her eyes. "I don't want to be your friend. I don't want to watch you hanging out with your new girlfriend. I'll help you with the DA because I promised I would, but I don't want to... I can't be around you."
"Rory, don't take this the wrong way, but you did break up with me. And I get that it was a totally valid decision given the circumstances," he said. "So I don't understand why you're acting as if... If you still care what I do."
The answer was easy. She still loved Harry. She couldn't imagine not loving him. And yes, he'd hurt her, badly. but that didn't turn her feelings off. Seeing him with Cho was a special kind of torture. Hearing him say that he was probably going to break up with her was worse than anything.
"I'm going to bed," Rory said, gathering her notes and books.
"Fish," Harry started, and they both paused. He hadn't called her that since the day they broke up. Somehow her heart lifted and sank all at once. "Rory."
"Harry, I can't... If you don't know why I care what you do now then you're probably right. This wasn't going to work" she said.
She got to her feet. Harry grabbed her by the arm. Rory froze. She looked down at him. He was looking up at her.
"Rory, part of the problem was that sometimes when you could've just told me what was wrong instead of expecting me to figure it out, you never did," Harry said.
Rory gently pulled her arm away. "Okay. Well, now you don't have any obligation to figure me out."
"Rory," he said as she started to turn away. She paused, she stared at him. He stared back. She could feel something in his gaze. She couldn't put a name to it. She wanted him to say something. Something that would make this all feel less terrible. He wanted to fix this, she wanted him to fix this. But she knew he couldn't. She couldn't.
Harry let out a breath and shook his head. "I'm sorry."
Rory didn't know what else to say. There was nothing else to say. "Goodnight."
