They were on the train, just as they had been three weeks ago. It felt like ages, but also felt too soon. Things at Grimmauld had been crazy, for sure. But Harry knew going back to school meant things were about to go back to being awful.
"There you are," a voice at the cabin door said. Stephen appeared and, to Harry's dismay, Rory looked absolutely delighted to see him.
Yes, she'd made it clear that she wasn't interested in getting back together with Harry at this point in her life, and he absolutely respected that. Yes, he would be perfectly happy if they remained friends for the rest of their lives and never dated again.
But mentally, he wasn't quite there yet. He'd broken up with Cho, reconciled with Rory, and now when he looked at her the only thing he could think was that he missed her like mad. That he loved her. That he wanted her back. He was happy to have her back in his life, but it wasn't quite the same.
What made it worse was that he knew Rory liked Stephen. It wasn't in the same way that Harry liked Cho, which was not at all if he was being honest with himself. But Rory liked being around Stephen. They were utterly delighted by each other. And she was always pleased to see him and he saw the way her cheeks tinted pink every time her dad delivered a letter from Stephen to her during break.
It wasn't any of Harry's business, and Stephen was an okay bloke from what Harry knew of him. He didn't want to be consumed by jealousy, had no right to be. But it ate at him a bit, seeing that the three weeks they'd been separated hadn't mattered. It was like they'd talked yesterday.
An hour into the trip, Stephen had taken Rory's hand and pulled her, laughing, out of the cabin, to find Susan.
Matilda and Neville were unusually quiet about it. And obviously, Harry couldn't ask them about it. Matilda said she wasn't optimistic about Rory and Harry staying broken up, which was all he needed to know about how she felt about him presently. Neville had outright told Harry that he didn't think it was a good idea they got back together. He didn't dare ask about Stephen
"I think they'd be cute together," Ginny said nonchalantly.
Matilda glanced up at this and then returned her eyes to her book. "Rory would be cute with anybody. That's her superpower. It actually kind of sucks that we're going back to school now because people are going to be annoying about it again."
Harry raised an eyebrow. "Annoying about what?"
"People asking us about her," Neville said. He looked over to Matilda. "Don't think you were clever bringing up Lee the other night. I don't approve."
Matilda sighed. "You're right. Anyone Fred and George adjacent is probably not going to be a good match for Rory. No offense, Ginny."
"You're probably right," Ginny said. "Who else is asking about her?"
Harry was glad that Ginny had asked because he wanted to know, but dared not ask himself.
"Cormac," Matilda said with an eye roll. "Zach if you can believe it. Ernie."
"Justin," Neville said.
"Interestingly, Stephen is the only one who seems interested who hasn't asked about her," Matilda said. "And he's the only one she's given the time of day."
Probably because Stephen was the only person mentioned who wasn't an idiot, except for maybe Justin and Lee.
"She's not really wanting to date anyone at all right now though," Neville said. "So I think everyone is out of luck. Especially with OWLs coming up, I suspect she's going to get tunnel vision."
That was true, Harry thought. If Rory did start dating someone else right now, she'd probably forget about them unless they transfigured themselves into a textbook or a study guide. The only way he managed to keep her attention when exams came around last year was by quizzing her.
"Well, at least she's got options. Certainly seems like she's moving on," Ginny said.
After his conversation with Rory, he was inclined to say that she hadn't moved on, but Stephen was the only candidate who stood a chance if she had.
Harry was going to stay out of it. Whatever happened, happened. That's what he'd told himself. Even if he absolutely hated it.
As soon as Rory was back at school, she had choir rehearsal with Flitwick. And later that evening they'd gather again in an abandoned classroom to practice what they would actually be performing the next day. That time aside, Rory planned to hide in the library studying. Or that's what she would be telling everyone. In truth, she was going to be researching legillimency for her lessons with Harry.
It definitely was beyond the Ordinary Wizarding Level and it was obvious that not everyone was going to be able to practice it. It was bloody complicated, but a lot of the complications had instinctual fixes that Rory could see. She doubted they would be instinctual at all if she weren't a seer.
There was something that was nagging at her about the lessons. She'd volunteered to help Harry because it made sense for her to do so, and learning legillmency would definitely be a useful tool to have in her belt if she was going to lean into being a seer.
What bothered her though, was that she'd be seeing things in Harry's head. It wouldn't just be impressions or feelings. There are things she would feel and see and know about him. It seemed intimate and invasive to casually poke around in his head. She was starting to understand why doing these lessons with Snape would make him miserable.
"Rory."
She looked up from her book and slammed it closed quickly. Then she frowned. Cho Chang stood in front of her.
"I heard you were back. Can I sit?" she asked.
"Why?" Rory asked. "You're not high on the list of people I really want to talk to if you hadn't noticed."
"I have," she replied sitting down. "I'll be quick."
Rory let out an exasperated breath and motioned for Cho to get talking.
"I just wanted to apologize for everything that happened. With Harry," she said. Rory nodded. "I liked Harry. And after Cedric died, it was nice to have someone else to talk to about it. But I guess… Harry deals with stuff in his own way. And you knew that, I guess."
From what Rory could tell, most of the conversations Harry had with Cho were about Cedric, which Harry did not want to talk about ever if he could help it. Rory knew that because she'd been dating Harry for over a year before Cho came out of nowhere and decided to kiss him.
Rory wasn't perfect. She and Harry definitely had their problems. But Rory didn't believe for a second that they couldn't have talked things out if they'd tried.
"I was out of line. I shouldn't have gone after Harry. I shouldn't have tried to sabotage your relationship," Cho said. "And I said a lot of nasty things about you. And that was out of line."
"So it goes," Rory said. "Anything else?"
Cho shrugged. "I was just hoping we could… Bury the hatchet. Start over. I'm not interested in Harry or anything. I'd just rather not have this hanging over my head until I die."
Rory sighed. "Cho. If you want me to forgive you and let bygones be bygones, do me a favor." Cho nodded. "Don't talk to me if you don't need to until after you've graduated."
Cho seemed to take the hint that this was the best she would get from Rory and got to her feet. Rory felt basically nothing but animosity towards Cho, but.
"Cho," Rory said. Cho let her hands rest on the back of the chair across from her. "Did you really slap him?"
Registering the amusement on Rory's face, Cho nodded.
"Good. I think you managed to actually knock some sense into him," she replied.
Cho smiled weakly and walked off. Rory didn't have a whole lot in common with Cho, but they both had Harry Potter not thinking about his words before they spoke them in common.
Rory opened her book again and got back to her research. But now she was thinking about Cho. And Cho with Harry. And the unpleasant things she might come across if he wasn't able to shut her out of his mind. After hearing about his lessons with Snape, she wasn't confident that he'd be able to, even if she was brand new to this.
This was all starting to sound like a bad idea, and yet… And yet, when had that ever stopped her before?
Sirius was surprised to see the light in the dining room on when he got up in the middle of the night. Then he remembered Theo he got the whiff of a familiar scent wafting down the front hall. It took him back to being a teenager: opening his bedroom windows and stuffing a blanket beneath the door so his parents couldn't smell the cigarette smoke.
Sirius had been avoiding talking to Theo, at least not about anything that wasn't superficial. He'd done a good job of ignoring Remus and Aurora's suggestions that they chat.
But the sudden burst of nostalgia had him thinking.
He ventured down to the cellar and retrieved a bottle of wine and two glasses. He went down the front hall and the front door was ajar. Theo sat on the front stoop, a lit cigarette between her fingers. Her head was resting on the rusted iron railing beside her.
"Clove cigarettes?" he asked with a chuckle. She looked up at him slightly startled and then managed a smile. "What are you, 16 again?"
She chuckled and looked back out onto the street. Sirius sat down beside her and filled the two glasses with wine. He handed one to Theo and she in turn passed him the cigarette. He took a long drag and exhaled slowly.
"Wow, that takes me back," he said passing it back to Theo.
"I think I was here the first time you corrupted me with one of these things," Theo said.
Sirius scoffed. "I corrupted you?"
Theo laughed. The Goldfinches were a very respectable pureblood family. Every time Walburga Black had a dinner party, the Goldfinches were invited. As a result, Sirius had known Theo most of his life. He didn't pay her much mind when they were small children. She was a boring girl. But once they started Hogwarts and they were placed in the same house, he saw her.
At the parties, she was relegated to sitting quietly sipping tea in nice dresses. At school, she was loud and combative, as if she were trying to make up for all those years of sitting quietly and prettily. After that, he was happy to have her around as company when she'd show up at his house for parties. She'd sit quietly for a while but was easily coaxed away to make mischief.
"I was thinking about the last time I was in this house," Theo said. She put out the cigarette butt between her feet, stubbing it on the ground. "Do you remember?" He shook his head. She rolled her eyes and took a drink from her wine. "Of course not. Though I guess it was after fifth year and that was a traumatic and turbulent time for you."
Sirius wasn't home for more than two weeks before he ran off after he finished his fifth year. Theo was right about him not remembering much of it.
"Your mum was having a party. I came with Levi because my grandfather was ill, but I obviously only came to see you," Theo explained. She took another drink. "I think we gave it a good 20 minutes before we snuck off to your room, but we must've been gone longer than usual because your brother—."
Sirius gasped. He did remember what she was talking about.
"Regulus sent my mother after us," Sirius said. "She was standing in the doorway shouting at us and you didn't even have a shirt on."
"Oh, I was quite naked the entire time," Theo said. "I never came back after that, though I guess you left a few days after that as well."
"I always found it funny that she got so angry when I was pretty sure that you were the only thing in my life that my mother ever approved of," Sirius said.
"That should've been a red flag," Theo said. She took another long drink from her glass, and Sirius followed suit. "Anyone your mother approved of should've sent you running."
Sirius shrugged. "It did. Pretty frequently if you recall."
Sirius wasn't an idiot. Looking back he could tell. He loved Theo. But every time he thought he might love her or think things were getting too serious or real, he would go looking elsewhere. He could never give his family the satisfaction of spending his life with someone they approved of. But he always found his way back to her. Or she back to him.
It was almost easy to let himself think this was just another starting over point like they'd experienced so many times when they were kids. But it was different now. They weren't the careless teenagers they'd been before.
Theo downed the rest of her wine and refilled her glass.
"Ask me, Sirius," Theo said. "Just ask me."
"Why did you let me sit in Azkaban?" he asked. "You could've gotten me out of prison and you could've gone if you didn't want—."
"You wouldn't have let me go, Sirius," she said. "You would've found out I was pregnant and convinced me that everything would be fine, and maybe they would be on the surface, but I would've been miserable. Being a mum… It's not what I wanted. And then Aurora's birth came with all this Servants of Pythia bullshit and I knew, I knew, that death and strife were just going to follow her. But I knew keeping you away from her would keep you alive and that's what I wanted."
Sirius sighed. He finished his own wine and emptied the rest of the bottle into his own glass.
"Your attempt to keep me safe was to let me sit in prison?" Sirius asked.
"You don't understand how afraid I was," she said. Theo's brown eyes were desperate and intense. "I didn't want my brother to raise a cult that taught people that my daughter was going defeat You-Know-Who. I didn't want a daughter who was going to predict death. I didn't want to be able to see any of the things that were flashing through my mind. I didn't even know if I wanted to be a mother, let alone under such extraordinary circumstances. And then Lily and James were dead. And you were gone. And I was pregnant. So I was a coward and I was selfish and I left. But I knew you'd be safe. And I knew Aurora would be safe. Maybe it wasn't the right choice, but it seemed like the only one I had back then."
Sirius didn't know what to say. What could he say? She didn't deny that she'd fucked up and made no excuses for why she'd done what she did. What good was it going to do sitting here being angry with her? They were both stuck inside that house. The only things waiting for them if they stepped out of the protection of Grimmauld Place were the Dementors or death.
"Hopefully our poor decisions making skills weren't genetic," Sirius said.
"She seems fine," Theo said, seeming to relax a bit. She reclined against the metal railing again.
"Mostly," Sirius said. "She's done some questionable things."
Theo chuckled. "Are you talking about Harry Potter? He seems alright. Can't be worse than you."
"No one is worse than me," Sirius said. The wine was already starting to go to his head. He felt himself loosening up, felt lighter.
"She didn't tell me why they broke up. Just that they ended things. She said they needed to grow up," Theo said. "Shows a lot more maturity than I ever did."
"They'll work it out," Sirius said.
"Of course you think so," Theo said. "He probably reminds you of yourself."
"As I said before, Harry's much better than me," Sirius said. "He kissed another girl. One time. Aurora broke up with him immediately. He felt sick about it. Nothing like me."
"You did a lot more than just kiss another person one time. You never felt bad?" Theo asked.
"Of course, I felt bad," Sirius sighed. "Being with you just went against everything I believed in. A proper young lady, from a respectable family."
"So you were doing everything you could to make me leave then?" she asked. Theo gave him a pitying look. So much had changed in 14 years, but the way she looked at him like a lost puppy hadn't. Maybe he was still lost. Maybe she was too.
"You were always too forgiving when it came to me," he said.
"You probably are too. Or you wouldn't be so kind to me right now," Theo said.
"Perhaps," he said with a shrug. "But what good is being angry about any of this going to do though? You're right. There's nothing we can do about it now."
Theo smiled softly. "You really have grown up, haven't you? Though I guess parenting in any capacity forces you to do that."
"Truth be told, I spend more time looking after Harry than Aurora," Sirius explained. "Although where one is causing trouble the other is usually there."
"So they're like you and James, but with snogging," Theo said.
Sirius went to protest, but she had a point.
"Speaking of, I must confess something," Theo said. "I might've incorrectly assumed that Aurora knew about your history with Remus."
He raised an eyebrow. "And what do you mean by that?"
"That you spent more time sixth year snogging Remus than you did me," Theo teased.
Sirius laugh. "That might be a slight exaggeration. And he's going to be very upset that you told her. Probably finds the whole shocking."
"No, she didn't," Theo said with a shake of her head. "She referred to you as 'the school slut' and a 'chaotic bisexual."
He laughed. "What a fantastic thing to put on my epitaph: blood traitor, asshole, chaotic bisexual."
Theo reclined back against the railing again. She stared out at the street.
"You really think I'm going to die don't you?" he asked.
She nodded, still looking away from him. "If you knew what I saw… What she saw—."
"I was sitting next to her when she used that board," Sirius said. "Could've lived forever without knowing it was part of my grandfather's skull, by the way."
"Why do you think this isn't a big deal?" she asked.
"Death comes for us all," he said. "If I end up dead, well, at least I've got a head's up about it."
Theo shook her head and watched a tear streak her cheek.
"Hope those tears aren't for me," Sirius said.
"Fuck you," she said. "I was wrong. You haven't grown up. Not one bit. Aurora—."
"Has no choice about what she sees any more than you do. And I'm not willing to blame her for that," he said. "I understand you were afraid. That you still are… I'm choosing not to be."
She gulped down the rest of her wine and got to her feet. She reached into her pocket and took out a carton of cigarettes. She tossed them into his lap.
"Thanks for the wine," she said.
"By the way," he said before she could go.
"What?" she asked.
"If you knew what it was like being in Azkaban, you'd never think it was a better option than dying," he said. He pulled one of the cigarettes from the carton and realized he did not have his wand with him. There was a click and he saw a lighter in Theo's hand emitting a small orange flame.
"Goodnight, Sirius," she said. She tossed the lighter into his lap and left him alone on the stoop.
