This episode is a Parody of the SpongeBob episode Graveyard Shift.
In the world of Dungeons & Dragons, in the world of Eberron, Me and Hayley Schmidt the Galar Moltres Gene-Slammer were flying over the land. Our mission is not only to rescue a girl but also to destroy an evil version of The Book of Vile Darkness.
Hayley Schmidt: Is this Book of Vile Darkness the same one Nicole has?
Hayley concentrated and groaned as her mouth turned into a beak.
Me: I'm afraid not Hayley.
She turned into GALAR MOLTRES!
Me: YEAH! I think this is the one that has more darker meaning.
I went over what happened in the 3rd Dungeons and Dragons movie and it was a really terrifying movie but it had an amazing story.
Nhagruul the Foul was an evil sorcerer who spread despair throughout his mortal life. As he neared his end, he sold his soul to the demon lords of the Abyss. His skin was turned into pages, his bones into a cover, his blood became ink for the pages, and the Book of Vile Darkness was born. Anyone who looked into the Book became evil. The kingdom of Karkoth was consumed by evil until a group of holy warriors called the Knights of the New Sun arose and saved the people using amulets given to them by the God of Light, Pelor. Using the amulets, they channeled the God's power and light overcame the darkness. Such power could be wielded, owing to the purity of their hearts. The ink was destroyed by the Knights but the pages and the covers could not be recovered as the followers of Nhagruul had them hidden. As people began to forget that Nhagruul even existed, the power of the Knights dimmed.
2000 years later, a new Paladin named Grayson is recruited into the Knight order, but like all Knights through the centuries, the power of the amulet is not granted to him by the God Pelor. However, while speaking to his father about this failure, all the Knights are killed and his father is abducted. Grayson is able to follow the barbarians who killed the Knights into town, and equips himself with the help of one of the locals sympathetic to Pelor. Against his will, he becomes part of an evil crew looking for the horn that will lead them to the cover of the Book. The crew comprises Akordia, a Shadar-kai sorceress; Seith, a human assassin; Vimak, a Goliath barbarian; and Bezz, a human Vermin Lord.
The horn is guarded by a wyvern that is slain by Grayson, saving Akordia, who falls in love with him. The group returns to the town attacked by the wyvern, where they are hailed as heroes. As Grayson and Akordia spend the night together, Seith takes all of the treasure given to the town, previously held by the wyvern. The town's mayor discovers this, and blocks the group from leaving; Grayson manages to compromise with him by letting the town keep half the treasure, but Bezz kills the mayor, resulting in the town being wiped out. At night, after the group makes camp, Grayson poisons Vimak with a vial he purchased, then places his body and the treasure in a bag of holding and throws it into the nearby lake. Seith then takes Grayson hostage, as he has nothing to trade for the horn to Akordia, but is killed by Bezz.
The horn leads the remaining three to encounter an undead child called a Slaymate, where they are forced to let it feed on their negative energy in order to prove themselves free of decency and thus worthy of obtaining the Book's cover; the Slaymate hungrily feeds from the morally bankrupt Bezz; Grayson's unlawful deeds are enough to pacify the creature; but when Akordia's turn comes, her burgeoning feelings for Grayson poison the creature and she fails the test. The Slaymate summons a Helmed Horror to kill them before disappearing. Bezz is stabbed through the chest as it appears, with Akordia and Grayson fighting the Helmed Horror. Disposing of the construct, the two finally retrieve the cover of the Book.
Akordia makes contact with the evil Lord Shathrax, who has the pages of the Book within his stronghold in the Shadowfell and plans to extract the ink from the pain of the purest Knight: Grayson's father. Grayson is able to rescue his father, but soon discovers the stronghold is a collection of floating islands. Despite his father's pleas, Grayson refuses to kill his father and reminds him that they must be the last beacon of hope, being granted the power of Pelor momentarily, before being disabled by Bezz, who reveals he is in league with Shathrax and intends to use Grayson's pain to complete the book. With Akordia's help, Grayson manages to stop Shathrax and his followers before he can complete the book by using Pelor's power to annihilate them. Akordia and Grayson, despite their relationship, part ways at the end because of their different natures, with Bezz escaping as a cloud of insects.
Hayley Galar Moltres: Oh man! We have to stop him and fast!
Me: I know. This version of the Book of Vile Darkness is a true artifact of doom. The one that Nicole has is a prison artifact.
Hayley Galar Moltres: Wow. We got to stop Shathrax.
Me: Lets go.
We flew on and we smashed into the castle of the Cult of Nhagruul on a collection of floating islands and blasted the cultists down and we had an Inari named Yukomo and a Regieleki Gene-Slammer named Galina Tsiolkovsky helping us and I smashed the machines they were using to make liquid pain. I then put on my blind mand glasses and snapped my fingers and then Galina reverted back and she was naked. Akordia gave me an Amulet of Pelor and Haley reverted back.
Hayley was human again. But naked.
Hayley: (covers herself) Maybe we should start using the Book of Vile Darkness again.
Me: That's a good idea.
Galina: (Covers herself) (Russian Accent) But thank goodness we destroyed the evil of Nhagruul the Foul forever.
Yukomo: Yeah no kidding. I'm a huge fan of Dungeons & Dragons myself and that was intense.
Me: It sure was.
I gave Galina and Hayley new clothes.
I then fired a massive blast of light from the amulet of Pelor that was given to me and obliterated the remnants of the evil Book of Vile Darkness and destroyed it forever and obliterated all traces of the evil of Nhagruul the Foul forever.
Galina: Wow that was amazing.
Akordia: (British Accent) I was a fool for joining Shathrax.
Me: But at least he and his followers are gone forever. You do have a chance to redeem yourself Akordia.
Akordia: I will consider it but for now I must go on a journey of guidance to decide that.
Me: I understand. But there will always be a place for you on the team.
She smiled at me and teleported.
Hayley: That was amazing how Akordia turned the tables on Shathrax.
Me: But at least he and his followers along with Nhagruul the Foul will never terrorize Eberron or the kingdoms of Karkoth ever again they are now nothing more than a forgotten memory.
We went over to Grayson and freed him.
Me: Are you okay?
Grayson: I am now thanks to all of you. I'm so sorry I caused all this.
Me: It's not your fault Grayson. You did what you thought was right in your heart. Nhagruul and his followers may be gone but there will always be more dangerous evils out there. The Knights of The New Sun will always be needed.
Grayson: That's true. Thank you J.D. Thank you to all of you.
Hayley Schmidt: It was our pleasure.
We went back home to Earth.
After dealing with Shathrax once and for all, Lincoln, me, Nico, Eli, Nicole, and Lightning Dust were heading to the world of the 2018 movie Mortal Engines, and not only is Lincoln going to rescue the nineteen girls located here, but we're also going to help Hester Shaw and The Anti-Traction League deal with Magnus Chrome, the Lord Mayor of London and the obsessed archeologist and power-hungry Head of the Guild of Historians, Thaddeus Valentine.
Set more than a thousand years following a cataclysmic conflict known as the Sixty Minute War, the remnants of humanity regroup and form mobile cities, called "Traction Cities". Under a philosophy known as "Municipal Darwinism", larger "predator" cities hunt and absorb smaller settlements in the "Great Hunting Ground", which includes Great Britain and Continental Europe. In opposition, settlements of the "Anti-Traction League" have developed an alternative civilization consisting of "static settlements" (traditional, non-mobile cities) in Asia led by Shan Guo (formerly China), protected by the "Shield Wall". Relics of 21st-century technology such as toasters, computers, and smartphones are valued by historians as "Old-Tech."
The city of London captures a small Bavarian mining town called Salzhaken, absorbing its population and resources, under orders of Lord Mayor Magnus Crome. Tom Natsworthy, an apprentice historian, arrives at London's "Gut" to collect Salzhaken's Old-Tech for London's Museum. Hester Shaw, a masked twenty-something woman among the Salzhakens, attempts to assassinate Thaddeus Valentine, Head of the Guild of Historians, but Tom intervenes, pursuing Hester to a chute. Hester escapes, but not before telling him that Valentine murdered her mother and scarred her face. When Tom informs Valentine of this, he pushes Tom down the chute.
Tom and Hester are forced to work together to traverse the Hunting Ground, surviving Southies, Scavs on a night hunt, and finding refuge in a vehicle called Scuttlebug, but the owners lock them in a cell, intending to sell them as slaves. Hester confides that Valentine killed her archaeologist mother Pandora after stealing a piece of Old-Tech she found in a dig in the Dead Continent of the Americas, while young Hester escaped with a necklace her mother gave her. Meanwhile, Valentine frees Shrike, a reanimated cyborg known as a "Stalker", from the offshore walking prison Sharkmoor, to find and kill Hester. At the slave market of Rustwater in the Outlands, Tom and Hester are rescued by Anti-Traction League agent Anna Fang. During the chaos, they are pursued by Shrike, whom Hester reveals she knows. Hester explains that Shrike had found and raised her after escaping Valentine, and Hester promised to let him turn her into a Stalker like himself, but she left after discovering that London had entered the Great Hunting Ground, giving her a chance to kill Valentine. In London, Valentine's good-natured daughter Katherine grows estranged from her father, especially after Apprentice Engineer Bevis Pod informs her that Valentine pushed Tom down the chute, and they learn Valentine's energy project in the re-purposed St Paul's Cathedral is more than it seems.
Hester and Tom travel on Anna's airship, the Jenny Haniver, to the airborne city Airhaven, meeting other Anti-Traction League members. After questioning Hester, Tom realizes Pandora discovered a computer core for MEDUSA, a quantum energy-based superweapon used by the belligerents during the Sixty Minute War to instantly destroy entire cities, albeit shattering the Earth's crust into a thousand pieces that have rearranged the former continents. The Guild of Engineers has stolen the remaining components from Tom's museum workshop and built a MEDUSA under Valentine's orders. Shrike catches up with them, resulting in a fierce skirmish that critically wounds him and destroys Airhaven. Realizing that Hester is in love with Tom, he spares Tom and frees her of her promise before perishing. As Hester, Tom, and Anna travel to the Shield Wall of Batmunkh Gompa with the surviving Anti-Tractionists, Valentine kills Crome in a coup and musters support from Londoners by vowing to destroy the Shield Wall with MEDUSA and lead them to a new Hunting Ground in Asia. Anna convinces Shan Guo Governor Kwan to launch the Anti-Tractionist airship fleet against London, but MEDUSA destroys the fleet and blasts a hole through the Shield Wall. After coming upon a stone carving of Medusa, Hester discovers that her mother's necklace hides a "crash drive", a kill switch for MEDUSA. Hester, Tom, Anna, and the remaining Anti-Tractionists lead a raid against London, braving the city's anti-aircraft guns.
Hester and Anna infiltrate St Paul's, and though Valentine mortally wounds Anna during a sword duel, Hester destroys MEDUSA with the crash drive. In a last-ditch attempt to destroy the Shield Wall, the now insane Valentine has his henchmen kill the city's control crew and put the city on full throttle on a collision course with the Wall. With Katherine's help, Tom uses the Jenny Haniver to destroy London's engine. Hester catches and fights Valentine aboard his airship, where he reveals that he is her father. Tom rescues Hester and shoots down Valentine's ship, which is crushed by London's slowing tracks, killing Valentine. With London stopped, Hester laughs victoriously while lying down. The surviving Londoners, now led by Katherine, make peace with the Anti-Tractionists of Shan Guo. As Governor Kwan welcomes the Londoners, Tom and Hester embrace each other and leave in the Jenny Haniver together to see the world.
Lincoln: Wow, we're in the world of the 2018 movie Mortal Engines, and I think I know what we're going to do here, not only am I going to rescue the nineteen girls located here, but we're also going to help Hester Shaw and The Anti-Traction League deal with Magnus Chrome, the Lord Mayor of London and the obsessed archeologist and power-hungry Head of the Guild of Historians, Thaddeus Valentine.
Thaddeus Valentine is the main antagonist of the 2001 young-adult science fiction fantasy novel Mortal Engines by Philip Reeve, and its 2018 film adaptation of the same name.
He is the Head of the Guild of Historians who is also Katherine Valentine's father and Tom Natsworthy's former mentor, serving as the latter's father figure, as well as Hester Shaw's arch-nemesis before later being revealed to be her biological father. Appearing on both adaptations of the story as an obsessed leader who aspired to rule everything all over, Thaddeus sought to find a very important book in his quest to completely rule London and all of the world altogether; this involves trying to kill Hester, who takes it upon herself to eliminate Valentine at all costs.
He was portrayed by Hugo Weaving, who also played Agent Smith in The Matrix, Megatron in the Transformers series, David Melrose in Patrick Melrose, V in Vendetta, and Red Skullin the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
In the past, Thaddeus Valentine was the lover of an archaeologist who loves to travel across the world, Pandora. He was also the father of Pandora's daughter, who was also the film's main protagonist known as Hester Shaw. Initially portrayed as a caring family man, he reveals his true nature once Pandora found an ancient technology that was found in a Dead Continent of America - which resulted in him murdering her; when Hester saw Thaddeus's atrocities, he ended up scarring her face before she eventually escaped from his wrath and would later get herself a necklace that her mother relinquished to her.
In the first parts of the film, he was introduced at first observing the mobile city of London devouring a small mining town known as Salzhaken (Salthook in the novel). Once said city is devoured, Thaddeus seemingly welcoming the citizens of Salzhaken and promises that they will be given a good hospitality. Not only that, he also seemingly has a cordial relationship with the apprentice of Guild of Historians, Tom Nasworthy, and his daughter, Katherine Valentine.
However, one of the Salzhaken citizens, the aforementioned Hester Shaw, has the intent to murder Thaddeus, but once she tries stabbing him in the chest (which injures him, but he survives), Tom catches her, and she runs away from the scene and escaped using the chute. Before she escapes, she told Tom that Valentine murdered her mother and scarred her face. Confused, Tom gives the information to Valentine, and while initially Valentine accepts the information, he proceeds to push Tom down the chute.
Later, in the final battle, Thaddeus Valentine destroyed the ATL airfleet. He was then challenged by Anna Fang. They fought fiercely in one-on-one combat, which ends with Thaddeus Valentine mortally stabbing Anna Fang with his knife. In that moment, however, Hester Shaw managed to shut down the M.E.D.U.S.A. Machine much to Valentine's shock. He could only watch in horror to see that Hester Shaw has shut it down, before Anna Fang urges her to flee; as Hester Shaw does flee, Anna Fang dies after tauntingly telling Valentine that his plans for world domination are over - shortly before she herself falls to her death.
Valentine's death.
Back in London, Thaddeus Valentine was confronted by Kathrine - who had just discovered the truth about her father's evil nature. She disowns him before leaving to help the others, whilst Thaddeus decides to leave her behind and escape. However, he was finally confronted by Hester Shaw moments later. By then, Hester Shaw was now prepared to kill Thaddeus Valentine and avenge her mother's death in the final battle. Dismissing her intent, Thaddeus reveals to Hester that he is her father before they engage in one-on-one combat. Thaddeus Valentine initially has the upper hand and prepares to kill Hester Shaw, but she ultimately defeats him by slashing his face in the same manner as he did to her.
Thaddeus Valentine subsequently dares Hester Shaw to kill him so they can both "die together". However, in that moment, Hester Shaw decides not to go through with it and instead taunts her father by declaring that "she is gonna live" whereas he will not. Thereupon Tom appears in his ship, and helps Hester Shaw escape in it before her father can attack again. Tom then shoots out Thaddeus' ship, which ends up crashing onto the ground and kills all of Thaddeus' remaining men. Thaddeus Valentine himself survives, albeit critically injured, and is about to escape when he sees London's tracks slowing towards him and his broken ship. Thaddeus Valentine could only watch in horror as London's slowing tracks run over his ship with him still inside it, thus crushing Thaddeus Valentine to death. Because of this, Thaddeus Valentine's reign of terror was over at last.
Magnus Chrome
Magnus Crome is the Lord Mayor of London and the Head of the Guild of Engineers. He appeared as the main antagonist in Mortal Engines. In the film adaptation he was portrayed by Patrick Malahide.
Early life
Magnus Crome was born on London in 936 TE. He was raised by the Guild of Engineers in the Deep Gut nurseries, during which he read about the dwindling amount of prey and that traction cities were doomed. Deciding to make it his life's work to keep tractionism alive, Crome acquired his guildmark and climbed the ranks of the Guild until becoming the Chief Engineer. During his time as Chief Engineer he strengthened the Engineer's power through increasing the number of seats it held in the city council. Crome was also a firm believer in Municipal Darwinism - once claiming to be descended from Dr. Gideon Crumb.
Before Mortal Engines
In the aftermath of the Big Tilt of London of 997 TE, Lord Mayor Waverley Egg was ousted from his position due to the ensuing scandal and gave rise to Crome's election - though some believed that Crome had caused the Big Tilt himself to attain more power. Crome enforced fierce anti-waste and recycling laws to help keep London moving.
Differently from past Lord Mayors, Crome did not have his guildmark removed, not even wearing the typical red robes required of a Lord Mayor - preferring to wear the Engineer's white rubber coat. Many objected to Crome still being the Chief Engineer whilst acting as Lord Mayor, though they themselves admitted Crome was an exceptional leader.
Crome was a firm supporter of Thaddeus Valentine, whom he made into the Head Historian after the archaeologist discovered the super-weapon MEDUSA; the Engineers began work implementing the weapon into St. Paul's Cathedral. Realising that this weapon would give London an advantage in the waning years of tractionism, Crome, under the guise of looking for more prey east, ordered his city to move over the Land Bridge and into the Great Hunting Ground. The Lord Mayor intended to use MEDUSA to destroy the Shield Wall of Batmunkh Gompa, allowing passage into Shan Guo and the innumerable resources there.
A year and a half before the events of Mortal Engines, the Stalker Shrike boarded London and was captured by the Guild of Engineers. Crome had Dr. Evadne Twix, the head of K Division, study Shrike in order to make Stalkers as foot-soldiers for London. Shrike warned Crome that Hester Shaw, the daughter of archaeologist Pandora Shaw (and Valentine's former lover who originally discovered MEDUSA), would be coming to London to assassinate Valentine in revenge for her parents' murder. In return for studying Shrike's components, Crome would allow Shrike to bring Hester's body to the Engineers and turn her into a Stalker companion for him.
Mortal Engines
Giving the order to chase a small mining town called Salthook after crossing the Land Bridge, Crome presumably witnessed the town being eaten. He later visited Valentine after an incident with Hester. Crome sends Valentine to scout ahead in his airship the 13th Floor Elevator, to see what lies between London and the Shield Wall. Valentine wants to try and find Hester, but Crome tells him that he is sending an "agent" to track her down.
Crome then returns to the Engineerium, the Guild of Engineers' headquarters, and meets with Twix. The pair then visit the imprisoned Shrike, and Crome informs him of Hester's boarding of London. Shrike demands to go after her, and Crome agrees, supplying him with a Godshawk 90 airship.
Me: You got that right, big guy. When I saw the movie, I can't believe what'd happened to the world because of The Sixty Minute War, the global cataclysmic conflict more than a thousand years ago.
Nico: This is indeed another result of war.
Lincoln: And like Cai Wenji said, war only breeds sadness. But, it's our job to protect not only Earth, but the entire universe from evil, and heal those whose hearts and souls have been broken by chaos, tragedy, sorrow, and turmoil.
Me: No kidding.
Lightning Dust: Yeah. But it's so amazing how the people of this Apocalyptic World were able to turn the major cities of the world into mobile fortresses of land, air and sea.
Me: That is amazing. The technology they used and built for that is amazinf
Eli: It sure is. What year does Mortal Engines take place?
Me: Well it said about 5,000 to 10,000 years into the future so sometime right around 7,000 to 12,000 A.D.
Nico: That's a long time from 2021.
Nicole: You're not kidding there. It was so cool.
Eli: Yeah. But what caused the Sixty Minute War?
Me: Lets see.
I looked that up.
The Sixty Minute War was a catastrophic, apocalyptic war that took place thousands of years before the events of the Mortal Engines Quartet and the Fever Crumb Series.
The War
The Hundred Year War was a cataclysmic conflict which is deliberately left vague, but was evidently fought between the American Empire and Greater China. It is likely that the Middle East was involved, as this region has been reduced to a flooded maze of atomic craters.
The name suggests that the war took only an hour to begin and end, presumably due to the unprecedented amounts of devastating weaponry deployed. The war ended millennia of human civilisational development, and caused near-total global destruction, depopulation, realignment of the continents, massive geological upheaval, and destruction of several large landmasses, and the downfall of the human species. However, it is likely (though unconfirmed) that there was a cold war leading up to this event and that the "sixty minutes" only refers to the actual exchange of WMDs.
Aftermath
The scientific and technical knowledge of most of humanity's advanced technology was lost during the conflict, and the world collapsed into a post apocalyptic state with the level of technology still not recovered to pre-war status centuries or millennia later.
Following the war came a period of immense geological upheaval, as earthquakes, tsunamis, glaciers and volcanic activity swept across the world; the isthmus linking North and South America was destroyed by weaponised meteors, volcanoes sprouted up in Europe and new oceans and mountain ranges were formed. It is uncertain whether this was a coincidence or unintended side-effect due to the immense energies released during the war, or if it was intentionally caused by some of the weapons employed.
North America was reduced to a radioactive wasteland, along with much of eastern China. The surviving Chinese fled into the Himalayas and formed a new civilization that would later become Shan Guo, leading nation of the Anti-Traction League. Africa escaped much of the devastation and parts of the continent became the center of another new civilisation though it was weakened by the Traction Cities centuries later.
This destruction led to the so called "Black Centuries", an era presumably similar to the historical Dark Ages. During this period, barbaric nomad tribes wandered Europe. After this period (at least 10,000 years[citation needed] later), Nicholas Quirke transformed London into the first of the Traction Cities and this led to the rise of Municipal Darwinism and the Traction Era.
Weapons
Particle compressing weapons, quantum energy weapons, biological weapons and conventional nuclear weapons, some deployed upon orbital platforms, were utilized to great extent. More esoteric weapons may also have been used or at least developed; the American Empire is mentioned in passing to have possessed weaponry capable of somehow drawing power from parallel universes, though this is an in-universe rumour from a world many years after the War itself destroyed civilization so it might not be accurate. Whatever was actually employed has survived in legend as being powerful enough to have "made the gods quake in fear" and was capable of projecting at the very least megaton-level firepower given that the few weapons actually seen in action in the books regularly destroy entire cities with single shots.
Several items featured in the series are deadly relics of the conflict, including a directed-energy weapon called MEDUSA (Military Energy Department, United States of America) which is later mounted upon the Traction City of London. This weapon (and the computer that controls it) was recovered by a group of explorers from an ancient military base on the American continent. MEDUSA is a key element of the plot in Mortal Engines.
Another featured weapon was the device known as ODIN (Orbital Defence Initiative), another ancient American weapon consisting of a particle cannon mounted on a satellite in Earth's orbit. ODIN is a key element of the plot in Infernal Devices and A Darkling Plain, as several major organizations (particularly the Green Storm) attempt to gain control of the device to destroy their enemies. Other Ancient orbital weapons mentioned in passing are the Diamond Bat, Jinju 14, and the Nine Sisters, although these take no part in the plot and are not described beyond their name. It is implied that they are likely to have fallen out of orbit or to have ceased functioning during the long millennia between the Sixty Minute War and the rise of the Traction Cities.
When I was done we were shocked!
Nico: WHOA! That MEDUSA weapon is as powerful as the superlaser!
Eli: Incredible! It's amazing how they can utilize such powerful weaponry.
Me: And it was nuclear war that caused the world to become an Apocalyptic Wasteland.
Suddenly, Lincoln had heard the sound of someone who's calling for help. With his deep sapphire blue cyborg eyes and superhuman sight, along with sensing energy signals, he saw and heard where the call for help was coming from. He then saw the seventeen girls sighted here, along with Hester Shaw and The Anti-Traction League, but they've been cornered by Magnus Chrome and Thaddeus Valentine, who's now gone insane, and they're going to kill them.
Lincoln: Guys, I found the seventeen girls, along with Hester Shaw, her allies, and the Anti-Traction League, but they've been cornered by Magnus Chrome and Thaddeus Valentine, who's now gone insane, and they're going to kill them. Come on, let's go.
We rushed on over to help the girls, Hester Shaw, her allies, and The Anti-Traction League. Lincoln punched Magnus Chrome and Thaddeus Valentine in the face, and he transformed into Super Angel-Ebonwu 750,000,000,000 Elemental Supercell Lightning Thunderbird Furious Hyperstorm of Justice, and he unholstered his Sword of Taranis from his wider, muscular back, and he fired powerful neon blue energy blasts with elemental forces orbiting the blue core, elemental forces, and super lightning at them, which exploded with incredible power, killing them and Super Hakaing them. We cheered for what Lincoln did, as he holstered his massive blade on his back and powered down.
We checked on Hester Shaw, her allies, and the Anti-Traction League, they were okay and unharmed. Then, Lincoln and Nicole went up to the nineteen girls located here, and when Lincoln saw them, he immediately recognized them. The nineteen girls were Chacha, Koshosho, Lady Hayakawa, Naotora Il, Ginchiyo Tachibana, Ina, Okuni, Oichi, Nene, Gracia, Kai, Mitsuki, and Sena from the Samurai Warriors franchise, Lin, Airi, Danne, Kisana, Lyra, and Mamiya from Fist of The North Star.
Lincoln: Oh wow, it's Chacha, Koshosho, Lady Hayakawa, Naotora Il, Ginchiyo Tachibana, Ina, Okuni, Oichi, Nene, Gracia, Kai, Mitsuki, Sena, Lin, Airi, Danne, Kisana, Lyra, and Mamiya.
Nicole: From the Samurai Warriors franchise and Fist of The North Star, awesome.
Lincoln: Are you girls okay?
Oichi: Yes, we're okay, thanks to you saving us.
Then, when Oichi and the other eighteen girls saw who it was that saved them from Magnus Chrome and the insane Thaddeus Valentine, their faces lit up like red Christmas lights upon seeing the 7'0" tall, handsome, white-haired, bare-chested hunk with abnormally large and powerful upper and lower body muscles, eight-pack abs, lightning bolt cutie mark with the thunderbird and comic books on his right massive pec and surrounded by the symbols of Fire, Water, Ice, Wind, Earth, Nature, Light, and Darkness in a circle, Celtic Cross cutie mark tattoo in the form of the cutie marks of Twilight Sparkle, Sunset Shimmer, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Starlight Glimmer, and Trixie Lulamoon and in a circle are the other girls in Lincoln's harem with the Earth surrounded by the ring of mermaids, a deep sapphire blue kanji on his wider muscular back that said, "Lincoln Landon Loud, Champion of Lightning, Master of Lightning Storms and The Weather, Emissary of Hinon, Golden-Hearted Brother of 16 Siblings, and Golden-Hearted Lover, Father, Son, and Husband", and he had deep sapphire blue eyes.
He had his Sword of Taranis holstered on his wider muscular back, his orange Crystal Saber holstered on his left hip and his Eater of Sins revolver holstered on his right hip, the Pisces constellation and Aquarius Zodiac sign on the back of his neck, weighted orange bands on his large biceps and thighs, deep sapphire blue eyes, his Bracelets of The Champions of the Universe with large orange gems on his large wrists, larger blue angel wings surging with powerful super lightning and stars and blue nebulae reflecting on them, and he was dressed in an orange version of He Man 2002's loincloth with hanging silver lightning bolts and long orange trenchcoat coattails with hanging silver lightning bolts held up by his Belt of Elemental Bravery with large orange gem for the belt buckle on his waist, blue pants with gold lightning bolts on the thighs, and large white leather combat boots with gold lightning bolts surrounded by a circle of smaller gold lightning bolts and armor on the toe area, silver Thunder Kanji earrings, a large silver Thunder Kanji necklace on his neck and across his permanently bare chest, his large fingerless black gloves with the symbol of The Loud House on it, large Orange Buffalo Animal Spirit Ring on his left ring finger, a large Blue Lantern ring on his right ring finger, and he had eight large orange orbs orbiting around his legs.
Mitsuki: Oh wow, you're Lincoln Loud of Team Loud Phoenix Storm.
Lincoln: That's right, Mitsuki, and it's a pleasure to meet you all.
Then, Lincoln made eighteen clones of himself, and he and the eighteen clones went up to Chacha, Koshosho, Lady Hayakawa, Naotora Li, Ginchiyo Tachibana, Ina, Okuni, Oichi, Nene, Gracia, Kai, Mitsuki, Sena, Lin, Airi, Danne, Kisana, Lyra, and Mamiya, and picked them up and hugged them in their abnormally large and powerful muscular arms, and kissed them on the lips, which they returned with equally intense passion, as they wrapped their arms around the necks of Lincoln and his clones. We cheered over the scene, and the girls in Lincoln's harem welcomed the new members of their future husband's harem.
Mamiya: (Seductively and puts her right hand on Lincoln's right pec) You too, big, tall, muscular, and handsome.
We went home to the Estate, but before that happened, Katherine Valentine heard about what just happened to her father, but she had no more love for her now dead father, and she became the new leader of the surviving Londoners, and she made peace with the Anti-Traction League, and at long last, they'll finally begin to rebuild and start anew in our world, since their world was destroyed by the Sixty Minute War. We also decided to use the Mortal Engine cities for future use in major missions like Zombie Apocalypse scenarios and more.
After putting down Thaddeus Valentine and Magnus Chrome, we were training intensely in the gym doing 100,000,000 reps of crunches, wing push-ups and regular push-ups, pull-ups, bicep curls, leg curls, and chest presses with 9,000-lb barbells, squats, and going a few rounds with the punching bags, and we were really sweating like crazy, even doing yoga to clear our minds, and we got a shower after that.
Then, we were heading off to meet Fuu's (Samurai Champloo) friends, and we found out that when Lincoln rescued Fuu from McWolf, her world's merged with ours.
Lincoln: I can't wait to meet your friends, Fuu. I'm sure they were worried about you when you were kidnapped by McWolf.
Fuu: You're going to love meeting them, Lincoln, and when they hear the news that I'm one of your future wives, I can't wait to see the expression on Mugen's face, but Jin will remain stoic, however, he will be glad on the inside about the news.
Me: And we'll also be sure to explain to them about McWolf's actions.
Nico: Yeah, we don't want him beaten to a pulp before he has his first usual battle with Nessa, RD Lori, and Tom and Jerry.
May: He's trained intensely under Vypra and the Masters of Evil, and he's not only got that massive zanbato on his back, but he also has powers of darkness and his trademark Chains of Torment, along with his quick means of escape.
Me: Right.
We arrived and met Fuu's friends, Jin and Mugen, and we explained everything that happened to her, and that she's now a future wife of Lincoln.
Mugen: At least, we know she's okay and she's now one of Lincoln's future wives. (To Lincoln) You take good care of her, Lincoln.
Lincoln: I will, you have my word.
Me: He's right, Lincoln's a man of his word, and he never breaks it.
Lincoln also took care of Umanosuke, Toube, and Denkibou by unholstering his Sword of Taranis from his back, and with three swift and powerful one-handed swings from his massive blade, he cuts them down, and they exploded in purple flames, and their spirits were Super Hakaied forever. Mugen and Jin joined the team, and they were also told about our upcoming war with Team Dark Phoenix Storm, and they were going to help us out.
(TREASURE TROVE COVE THEME FROM BANJO-KAZOOIE PLAYS)
Later we were at the beach for some fun.
Manaphy: We've enjoyed this day at the beach.
Nico: It's a perfect way to close out the month as well as soak up some rays.
May: Nico can you rub some sunscreen on my back?
Nico: You bet my lady.
Nico did so.
I was surfing on the lake with Stacy and Otto and his friends.
Me: COWABUNGA!
Stacy Bolton: RADICAL DUDES!
Reggie: AWESOME!
We were surfing on amazing waves.
Eli, Ariel, Nunnally, Melody and Rapunzel were swimming in the lake and looking for treasure.
Lola and Lana were building sandcastle and Arrietty, The Littles and Thumbelina were pretending to be knights on the castle.
Poliwag: I found some treasure!
Poliwag came back with a solid gold goblet and it had beautiful jewels in it.
Nicole: Wow! That is an amazing Goblet.
Poliwag: Thanks.
Sunset Shimmer was playing a pirate video game on her phone as she was walking along the beach.
[pirate-themed video game music]
Then she kicked a bottle.
Sunset Shimmer: Huh? What the...? Check this out! I found an actual real-life message in a bottle!
Nicole: Ooh! I love messages in bottles like that.
Pinkie Pie: Ooh! Is it a love letter? A secret recipe? Or, wait. Someone's trapped on a deserted island? We have to save them!
Nicole: If it were someone trapped like that I would get a message on my arm device.
Sunset Shimmer: It's a treasure map.
Nicole: Cool! And you know how much I love treasure maps.
Twilight Sparkle: It looks just like this beach.
Pinkie Pie: Amazing! Let's go!
Nicole: Onward to adventure!
They went to find the treasure and we had to get past some crabs and hot sand and more.
They then saw a chest.
Sunset Shimmer: Look! There it is! I wonder if it's filled with loot!
Poromon: Maybe I can use my beak to open this treasure chest.
Nicole: I don't see a lock on it.
[chest opens]
Sunset opened it and in it was another treasure map.
Pinkie Pie: The treasure is a treasure map!
Sunset Shimmer: [reading] "Follow the trail to the top of the MFBO and look for the X at the end of the..." [gasps] It's a code! If only we had a... decoder ring!
Twilight Sparkle: Well, that's convenient.
Nicole: That is an easy find.
Sunset Shimmer: "Follow the S-H... SHELLS to the... PIER and look for the X at the end of the R-A-I... RAINBOW!"
Nicole: Follow the shells to the pier and look for the X at the end of the Rainbow.
Pinkie Pie: Look! There's a trail of shells!
Sunset Shimmer, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle: [laugh]
They went to the pier.
Twilight Sparkle: This is the pier. Now where's the—
Pinkie Pie: Rainbow!
Nicole: There it is.
[truck drives away]
Twilight Sparkle: "X Marks the Sushi"?
Nicole: Ooh.
Sunset Shimmer: Excuse me, do you know anything about a treasure map?
"Carrot Bun": [pirate accent] Aargh! Congr-argh-tulations! Ye mateys followed ye map to find the bounty of X Sushi!
Sunset Shimmer: Yes! What's our treasure?
"Carrot Bun": Twenty p-argh-cent off any hand roll, plus all-ye-can-eat wasabi! Aargh!
Twilight Sparkle: That's it?
Nicole: That's a great deal.
Poromon: I love sushi.
Pinkie Pie: The treasure is a sushi truck! That's amazing!
Nicole: Awesome and I am hungry.
Twilight Sparkle: Mmm... Mmmm... I like it.
Nicole: Really good sushi.
Pinkie was in pain from too much spice.
Pinkie Pie: Ah... ah... tho thpithy! [breathes fire]
She breathed out green fire and dipped her face in the fountain on the pier.
[splash]
Pinkie Pie: [sighs]
Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle: [laugh]
Nicole: That was fun! Lets share all this with everyone.
Horsea: What do we do with all of this?
Nicole: We're going to share the sushi treasure with everyone.
Sunset Shimmer: Good idea.
They got to sharing the treasure with all of us and it was fun.
Later at Lynn's Table.
French Narrator: (French Accent) Ah! Lynn's Table. Gotham Royal York's premier daytime restaurant. Where it will be closing time right about…
Lori: Now! 8pm! So you guys at home! I've got a very romantic snuggle and love session tonight with my Bobby Boo-Boo Bear! 💖😊
Me: You and Bobby were made for each other completely Lori.
Rusty came and knocked on the door.
Lori: What?
Rusty: Are you guys open?
Lori: Read the sign, genius. 😒
Rusty: I'll have a Lynnsagna along with chili cheese fries & a soda.
Me: Hey Rusty.
Rusty: Oh hey guys! Mind if I join you all for some late night snacks? I have the money.
Lynn Sr.: (offscreen) Money?! 😱
(Lynn Sr. appears, slamming Lori into a wall)
Lynn Sr.: You mean if we stayed open, you'd eat in and pay us?
Rusty - Sure! I was gonna order to go but I saw all you guys and decided to eat with you all.
Me: Fine with us Rusty. Come on in.
Rusty did so and we got his food for him.
Lynn Sr.: Meh, that works too. (to Lori Guess what, honey? Welcome to the night shift! From now on, Lynn's Table will be open 24 Hours a day!
Lori: What?!
(The customers come barreling into the restaurant, running over Lori, then Lincoln & Clyde appears)
Clyde: Wow, really?! Now we'll never have to stop working!
Robo Blaze: Open 24 hours? Are you sure that's a good idea?
Lynn Sr.: If it's a good way to get in some extra money I'm not complaining. Besides Lincoln and Clyde seem to like it.
Nico: It'll be cool to see what a restaurant is like in the night and into the early morning hours.
Me: It sure will.
Lori: Dad, I think this literally goes against Labor Laws.
Mr. Krabs: Lori's right. That was one of the reasons I got arrested the first time.
Lynn Sr.: Really?
Mr. Krabs: Aye lad. It's true.
Me: He's right. But lets give it 1 day to see how it turns out.
Nico: I agree. And even though it's my turn to lead, lets give it one day to see how it turns out.
Me: Agreed.
Lynn Sr.: See you in the morning everyone! I can't stay here all night, I got a date with your mother tonight! Haha! (leaves the restaurant)
Lori: But Dad…!
Lincoln - Come on, Lori! It's gonna be fun! We'll have a chance to practice what we've learned from watching Dad and his friends at work!
Clyde: And if we do a really good job, he might pay us extra! Now then, are you ready to rock, Lori my love?!
Lori: No.
Clyde: Good! Because we got customers!
Unknown to Lynn Sr., Lincoln and Lori had created two shadow clones to do the shifts, and they also alerted us about it, and we came here to Lynn's Table.
Me: I can't believe that your dad wanted you guys to work 24 hours a day at the restaurant.
Nico: That's not good. Remember what happened last time?
Lincoln: Yeah, and it was the fault of Flip's brother, Flop, and let's not forget Ophelia Shroud who tried to use this to her evil advantage to get Dad's recipe book and the secret of Lisa's inventions, so she'll take over the world. Which reminds me, I think it's time we put Ophelia Shroud out of business for good.
Lincoln snapped his fingers and made Ophelia Shroud appear, and she was bound with the Chains of Torment fired by McWolf, who was called here by Lincoln. Then, Lincoln sprouted a tail with a large suction cup proboscis, and once it attached right onto Ophelia's head, he began sucking out all of the information from Ophelia's brain. After a few hours, Lincoln sucked out and absorbed all of the vital information from Ophelia's head, and his tail detached itself from her head.
We also found out that after Ophelia's restaurant, The Pasta Bowl, was closed down after the entire Grease Buffoons incident, we found out that she bribed the health inspector and got it open again, and that caused Lincoln to report it to the police. Once the information was delivered, Sheila Castille and Tom Lair arrested Ophelia Shroud, and when they saw all of Ophelia's plans and Lincoln explains the details, Ophelia Shroud's time was up.
She was convicted for the same crimes that would've put Plankton to shame, and she was sentenced to The Neptune Cryoprison for all eternity, she was immediately frozen and was put in a door-less cell in Solitary Confinement, and The Pasta Bowl was demolished forever. Ophelia Shroud was condemned to a fate worse than death in her imprisonment, she would be hated forever and once she dies, she'll be forgotten.
Lori: Nice work, bro. But, what brought on your choice?
Lincoln: I remembered what Lisa explained to Nico about Ophelia Shroud, and if this obsession about getting Dad's recipe book, along with getting the secret of Lisa's inventions for world domination had continued on, she would be completely deranged and so out of control, she'd be an bigger danger to Gotham Royal York than Plankton.
Lily: I see, and you're right, Linc. Plankton was a nightmare to Bikini Bottom, and now, he's nothing more than a forgotten memory.
McWolf: And after what Electro told me what happened, let's just say that I'm glad he gave that mad genius that shock therapy treatment. I just wish I had a picture of it.
Nico: Actually, McWolf, I got just what you were asking for. Get ready to laugh your heads off.
Nico got out the picture and when he showed it to McWolf, he laughed hysterically, and when the rest of us saw it, we also laughed our pants off.
Lori: (Laughing Hysterically) Oh man, that was literally hilarious. Nice job getting that photo, Nico. I can't stop laughing, that was so hilarious.
Lily: (Laughing Hysterically) Just imagine if everyone in Gotham Royal York saw it, they'll laugh their heads off.
We ceased laughing.
Lincoln: Okay, that aside, when this is over, we're going to have a talk with Dad about this.
Lori: You're right, bro. Dad can't do any of those sorts of things, or he'll turn into Mr. Krabs before he changed his ways.
Lily: And that's something that we don't want.
Nico: Amen, Lily.
Me: Amen to that.
(Lincoln & Clyde runs into the kitchen while Lori stands behind the cash register)
(Lincoln & Clyde chopping lettuces)
Clyde: Hey Lori! We're chopping lettuce! At night!
(Lincoln & Clyde scrubbing down the bathroom)
Lincoln: Look at us swapping the bathroom! At night!
(Clyde accidentally touches the hot stove with his hand)
Clyde: AAH! I burned my hand! At night. (hand sizzles)
OUCH!
Lincoln: I'll go get the first aid kit.
(45 minutes later…)
Shiv: Can we at least eat the food from here?
Nico: Absolute Shiv.
Me: You are always hungry huh?
Shiv: I got a big appetite.
Lincoln and Clyde: 🎵 Night night night night! Night night night night! Night night night night! DA DA DA DA DA DA! NIGHT!🎵
Lori: Will you two please?! (hands Lincoln a bag of garbage) Here! Give me a moment's peace and take out the trash.
Lincoln: All right!
Lincoln and Clyde: Taking out the trash! Taking out the trash! At N-
(Lincoln & Clyde stops at the door and sees the dumpster outside across the street in the dark)
Lincoln: (nervous) You mean out there?
Lori: That's where the dumpster is, yes.
Clyde: (nervous) I don't know, Lori… It looks awfully dark out there.
Lori: Aw, what's the matter, Clyde? I thought you and Lincoln liked the night shift.
Me: Lori now is not the time for your mischief.
Lori: Sorry.
Syd Chang: Besides, you can do it Clyde.
Earth: Same here Linky.
Clyde: You're right! (to Lincoln) Let's do this for Lynn's Table!
Lincoln: Yeah! For Lynn's Table! And for our girls!
Lincoln & Clyde frantically runs outside with the trash bag towards the dumpster and back to the restaurant while screaming, then after they return, Clyde breathes in & out of a paper bag while Lincoln catches his breath.
Clyde: (Snaps fingers) Piece of cake.
Me: At least they got that done.
Lori: So you're not afraid? 😏
(Lincoln & Clyde heading towards the kitchen)
Lincoln: Us? Afraid? 😅
Clyde: No way! 😅
Me: Why would they be Lori?
Lori: Well I am afraid. Especially after the… (gulps) Well… You know. 😥
(Lincoln & Clyde stops and turns towards Lori)
Lincoln: What? What do we know?
Lori: You don't remember? It was literally all over the news!
Me: What news?
Eli: Yeah tell us.
Clyde: Tell us! Tell us!
Lori: No no no. I probably shouldn't. It would literally ruin your night shift… 😰😏
Lincoln and Clyde: (excited) What happened?! What happened?! What happened?!
Lori: You mean you both have never heard the story about the… Uh… Hash Slinging Slasher?
Lincoln: Wait… The sash bringing hasher?
Lori: The Hash Slinging Slasher!
Lincoln: The bash singing...?
Clyde: The trash bringing…?
Lincoln: The flash ringing…?
Clyde: Dinging…?
Lincoln: Pinging…?
Clyde: Singing…? Uh…
Lori: … Yes. The Hash Slinging Slasher. But, most people would call him the Hash- (gasps) Because that's all they got time to say before he… Gets them!
Lincoln and Clyde: (gasps) Tell us the story! 😱
Lori: Years ago, at this very restaurant before it was even called Lynn's Table, The Hash Slinging Slasher used to be a part time worker just like you two. Except he was clumsier!
Lincoln and Clyde: (GULPS)
Lori: And then one night, when he was cutting the patty, something bad happens.
Lincoln: He forgot the secret sauce?
Lori: No.
Clyde: He didn't wash his hands?
Lori: No.
Lincoln: He used irregular portions?
Lori: No! He chopped off his own hand by mistake!
Me: YIKES!
Nico: That must've really hurt!
Clyde: His own hand?! Was he able to save it and reattach it?!
Lori: The injury was so severe that he was unable to save it! So it never was reattached
Lincoln and Clyde: OH NO! 😨😭
Lori: He then replaced his own hand with a rusty spatula. And then… He got hit by a bus! Then, at his funeral, they literally fired him! So now, every… What day is it?
Lincoln: Tuesday.
Lori: Tuesday night, the ghost of The Hash Slinging Slasher will come to this restaurant to wreak his horrible vengeance.
Me: So he's a Supernatural Disgruntled and Vengeful Employee.
Lori: Exactly.
Clyde: (gasps) But tonight's Tuesday night!
Lori: Then he might show up…
Eli: (GULPS)
Clyde: I'm scared to ask, but how will we know?
Lori: There are three signs that signals The Hash Slinging Slasher's arrival. First, the lights will flicker on and off! And then...
Rusty: Lori, Can I have some ketchup pleaee?
Lori: Oh, here you go Rusty. (hands Rusty a pack of ketchup) Secondly, the phone will ring… And there will be nobody there! And lastly… The Hash Slinging Slasher will arrive on the ghost of the same bus that literally ran him over!
Lincoln and Clyde: (biting their nails, scared)
Lori: And then, he exits the bus, without looking both ways… Because he's already DEAD!
Lincoln and Clyde (munching on popcorn, scared)
Lori: Finally, The Hash Slinging Slasher uses the spatula for a hand to open the door! (imitates the sound of an opening door) And then, he slowly… Approaches… The counter!
Lincoln and Clyde - 😨 (gulps)
Applejack and Rarity were hugging and shivering in fright. Same with Ino and Sakura.
Lori: And you know what he did next?
Lincoln: What?
Lori: Do you really want to know?
Clyde: What?!
Lori: You really really want to know?
Lincoln and Clyde: What?! What?! What did he do?!
Lori: He kills you! (pokes Lincoln & Clyde from behind)
Lincoln and Clyde: (screams)
Me: (SCREAMS)
Nico: (SCREAMS)
Eli: (SCREAMS)
Shaggy: (SCREAMS)
Scooby: RIKES!
Lori: *laughs hysterically* 😂
Lincoln: (stops screaming and starts laughing) Oh you sure got me good, Lori! Great story! 😂
Lori: Thanks Lincoln! I try! 😂
Me: (Pants in relief) That was a good ghost story Lori!
(Lincoln & Lori stops laughing after a while. However, Clyde is still screaming)
Lori: Uh, Clyde?
Clyde: (screaming)
Lincoln - Hey, Clyde?
Clyde: (still screaming)
Lori: Clyde, I was just…
Clyde: (still screaming)
Lincoln: Clyde, Lori was just…
Clyde: (still screaming)
Lori: Clyde! I was just kidding!
Clyde: (stops screaming) What?!
Lori: It's okay! Everything that I just said wasn't true!
Clyde: It's not?!
Lori: Of course not, silly! Who would have a spatula for a hand anyways?
Clyde: Oh. Phew! That's a relief! I'll have to admit, that story sure scared the daylights out of me! Thanks for telling it to us, Lori!
Lori: (chuckles You're welcome, Clyde. Glad you guys enjoyed it! 😉
Clyde: Come on, Lincoln! Let's get back to work!
Lincoln: You got it, buddy!
Me: That was a great story Lori.
(Lincoln, Clyde & Lori continued to work the night shift from that point on. Transitions to 3am. Clyde is resting on Lori's lap as she is reading her book. Suddenly, Lori hears dripping noises. She doesn't know where the sound was coming from. It turns out it was Lincoln cleaning the ceiling with a sponge and he was using the suction parts of toilet plungers for his feet.)
Lincoln: Isn't it great, Lori?
Lori: AAH!
Lincoln: There's never time to clean the ceilings & walls during the daytime hours!
Lynn: (bored) I'd rather be fighting Mr. Mind's gang than doing this. I mean, who wants to eat from here at 3 in the morning?
Lori: (moan) Open for 24 hours a day… What a joke! Who would want Dad's food at 3 in the morning?!
(At the World Tree Estate)
Leni's Alarm Clock goes off.
Leni: (wakes up) Yay! 3 AM! (munches on Lynnsagna)
Ed: Can I have some Leni?
Leni: Sure Ed.
He shared with her.
Sonata Dusk: I love eating this late at night.
She was eating some tacos.
Patrick: Oh boy 3 AM!
He ate a Krabby Patty.
(Back to Lynn's Dinner Table)
Lola: Seriously, if Mr. Mind's gang wants to attack us, they can do so right now so this won't be boring!
Me: Lola don't encourage them.
Lori: Just look at this place! It's literally a ghost town in here!
Me: It's 3:00 in the morning Lori. What did you expect? Besides everyone is asleep but us.
(The lights start flickering on & off)
Me: Uh oh.
Lori: Very funny, Lincoln.
Lincoln: What? (Flies down from the ceiling)
Lori: And the lights will flicker on and off. Just like from the story.
(Lori then looks at the light switch next to her & Clyde, and sees that it's not moving as the lights continues to flicker on and off)
Me: Lincoln's not even doing anything.
Lincoln: Hey Lori, how are you doing that without touching the switch?
Lori: I'm not doing it! It must be the faulty wiring! This place literally isn't built to run 24 hours a day!
Me: This place did have bad wiring when Mr. Lynn bought it.
Laney: (Tired) Yeah it sure did.
Electro: Lori, that story was real, wasn't it?
Lori: No it wasn't.
(Phone starts ringing)
Clyde: AAH! (bumps his head on the counter) Ouch!
Lori: Sorry, Clyde. (rubs Clyde's head as she answers the phone) Lynn's Table. Hello? Hello?
(No answer…)
Me: Must've gotten the wrong number.
Eli: Who in the world would call this late at night?
Lincoln: Nice try, Lori.
Lori: Nice try what?
Lincoln: "The phone will ring, and there will be nobody there! (laughs) You sure know how to crack me up!
Me: Probably just a dumb prank caller. No offense to Bart and Luan.
Lori: Lincoln, guys I'm not doing this! (hangs up the phone Okay, calm down, Lori… What was it? First, it was the lights…
(Lights flicker on and off)
Lori: And then the phone…
(Phone ringing)
Lori: And the walls ooze green slime! Oh wait, that always happens.
Me: We got to find that problem and fix it.
Lori: But what was the third thing?
(The bus then arrives in front of the restaurant)
Eli: Why is there a bus here this late at night?
Clyde: (yawns) That was a good power nap. Oh wow! I didn't know the buses ran this late!
Lori: They don't…
Me: I've got a bad feeling about this.
Lincoln - Well, they're dropping someone off.
(The bus then leaves and reveals a scary shadow figure with evil glowing red eyes representing The Hash Slinging Slasher who then raises a spatula for a hand)
Lori: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! THE SASH BRINGING…! THE TRASH PINGING… THE DASH… S-SINGING…!
Lincoln and Clyde - The Hash Slinging Slasher! (starts crying) 😭
Lori: Oh finally you guys understand! We're literally doomed!
Clyde: (crying) No… That's not it…
Lincoln: (crying) We're just so touched that you would go through the trouble of dressing up as a ghostly employee and showing up just to entertain us.
Clyde: (crying) You must really love us! 😭
Lori: (frightened) Lincoln, Clyde, there are three problems with what you just said. One, Clyde, I don't love you. Two, I'm already married. And three, Lincoln, how can that be me if I'm literally standing right here?!
(The shadow figure taps on the glass door)
Lincoln and Clyde: (screaming)
Lori, Lincoln and Clyde: THE HASH SLINGING SLASHER!
We got ready and stood in position.
(The shadow figure opens the door with a spatula and approaches the counter as Lori, Clyde & Lincoln begs and pleads for it to get away from them)
Dark just turned into Crystal Freak.
Crystal Freak: (about to shoot diamond shards) You back off or I'll stab you with diamond shards!
Me: YEAH! YOU COME ANYWHERE NEAR US AND WE'LL SEND YOU BACK TO HELL!
Nico and Eli had guns and lightsabers ready!
Lori: (scared & crying) Clyde… No matter what I've said... I always sort of liked you! And Lincoln… You're literally the best brother anyone can ever ask for! You all are literally the most amazing friends ever.
Clyde: (scared & crying) Th-th-thanks, Lori…!
Lincoln: (scared & crying) Lori, I used your curling iron to unclog the toilet!
Lori: Wait, what?!
Applejack: Lets get this sidewinder!
(The shadow figure approaches towards the light revealing that it's Chaz holding a spatula in his hand. Lori, Lincoln & Clyde stops screaming and we all stood down)
Me: Chaz?
Chaz: Hey guys.
Eli: What are you doing here this late at night?
Chaz: I wanted to come by and see if I can get a job application I brought my own spatula! I called earlier, but I hung up because I was nervous...
Me: Well that's all right. But Chaz you really scared us.
Chaz: Sorry guys.
Lori: Wait a second! If that was you on the phone and on the bus, then who was flickering the lights?
(The lights start flickering again. We all looked at who was doing it. It was Lucy in the corner playing with the light switch)
All - Lucy Loud! 😊
Lucy Loud: Sorry guys.
Maria: Lincoln, did you really use Lori's curling iron to unclog the toilet?
Lincoln: Yeah I'm sorry but I was just so scared that I just had to get that out.
Lori: Oh that's all right Lincoln. But that curling iron was broken anyway.
Lincoln: Good.
Me: That's a relief. But we need to tell Mr. Lynn that this is not all right. Being open 24/7 is not good.
Lincoln: You're right J.D.
Laney: Especially after what happened with Lincoln and Lori when they were forced to work for 43 days straight.
Electro: I remember that. That was nuts.
Applejack: Right you told me all about that and that must've been awful.
Me: You have no idea Applejack.
Firefly: (to Chaz) Dude, do you know that we were very close to killing you?
Chaz: Let me guess, Lori told Lincoln and Clyde the Hash-Slinging Slasher story.
Me: Yeah how did you know that?
Chaz: I was told that same story myself and another one of my friends was mistooken for it.
Me: Very coincidental.
Nico: Yeah that sure was.
May: So, Chaz. How've you been doing these days?
Chaz: Doing really well May. Me and Leni's Liquid self are perfect for each other.
Me: I always knew you two had something special.
Then we saw the sun rising.
Me: Morning already. Wow.
Nico: Time sure flew huh?
I looked at my watch and it was 6:57 AM.
Me: Wow time really flew fast. Mr. Lynn will be here in 1 hour so we'll talk to him.
Eli: First lets get you girls and guys some coffee.
Nico: Good idea and then after breakfast when he gets here we can talk to him.
Laney: Good idea.
Snake: Dude, I could use some coffee myself.
Nico: Well I'm making plenty for us.
Nico made us a lot of coffee.
We had a good breakfast and then we heard Lynn Loud Sr. humming Drunken Sailor.
Lynn Sr. came in and he saw us and we were looking at him with disappointed looks and some of us even had bags in our eyes.
Lynn Sr.: Morning guys.
Me: Morning Mr. Lynn. Sorry you have to see us all crabby and everything. Uh no pun intended Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: No worries lad.
Me: We need to have a little talk.
Lynn Sr: So, how was the night shift?
Nico: Never. Again!
Me: Nico calm down. It was tiring. And as you saw Nico is cranky and tired. But that's another thing we need to talk to you about.
Lincoln: Dad, I don't know if I told you about this but remember how you hired Flip's brother Flop when you were gone for a month and a half on that food convention trip?
Lynn Sr.: Yeah I sure do son. Why?
Lincoln: Well Flop made us work non-stop for 43 days without any breaks and we were so tired.
Lincoln and Lori went over what happened during that time and it was horrible.
After that little scare at the restaurant, we got back home, and as soon as Lincoln told his mom about what Lynn Sr. did, she wasn't happy. We gathered at the parents' bedroom, and we were there to talk to him about his little 24-hours-a-day stunt at the restaurant.
Rita: Lynn, Lincoln told me about what you did. I thought you weren't going to keep the restaurant open for 24 hours. Don't you remember what happened last time?
Lynn Sr.: (Sighs) You're right, I forgot about what happened last time, It was because of Flop, Flip's brother, that he drove Lincoln and Lori right up to the point of restlessness, because of my constant competitive nature with that evil little monster, Ophelia Shroud, who's now the most hated person in Gotham Royal York after Lincoln exposed her for the evil mad genius that she is.
Me: And I think I know why you did that: you got bit by the fame bug, and you listened to the advice of a customer who doesn't care if it's closing time.
Lynn Sr.: I can't believe that this happened, can you guys forgive me?
We saw that Lynn Sr. was now regretting his mistake, and we went up to him and we hugged him in a big embrace.
Lincoln: Dad, don't beat yourself up over it. But, next time, don't take the advice of those who want the restaurant to remain open 24 hours a day.
Lynn Sr.: You're right, champ. Next time, I'm not taking the advice of those who want the restaurant to remain open 24 hours a day, it's way too dangerous for the health of my own kids. (Smiles) But, I got to admit, that plan you and Lori had to create the clones was genius. You sure got your old man good.
Lincoln: (Smiles) Thanks, Dad.
Lori: (Smiles) And I literally have to agree with Dad, Linky. Your planning has been getting better and more improved. You've proved more than once why you're called "The Man with A Plan".
Lincoln gently picked Lori up in his abnormally large and powerful muscular arms, and he hugged her, and she returned the hug by wrapping her arms around his neck. He also made clones of himself, and they did the same thing with Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lena, Lee, Lyra, Liberty, Laney, Lucy, Lana, Lola, Lisa, Lily, Lynn Sr., Rita, Eli, me, Nico, and another clone gently picked his sleeping baby bro, Leo, up, and kissed him on the head, and laid him to sleep in his crib, and disappeared.
Lori: (Thinking to herself) So, this is what the girls in his harem felt when he meets them. I admit, he gives some pretty good hugs. But, around the girls in his harem, he follows that up with a passionate kiss, which the girls also return with equal intense passion.
But, Lori wasn't the only one who thought that, her other siblings and parents had the same thought, and after the hug, they gently put them down, and the clones disappeared.
Lynn Sr.: And I won't do the same things that got Mr. Krabs sent to prison. (To Mr. Krabs) No offense, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: That's alright, lad. But, I'm glad you learned your lesson.
Squidward: He's right, you don't want to turn into a cheapskate, right?
Lynn Sr.: No way is that ever going to happen. I'm not only a manager of a successful restaurant, but I'm also a father of my eighteen kids, and I'm not going to let success turn me into a cheapskate and I'm not going to get bit by the fame bug.
Me: Good for you.
We then got some sleep.
THE END.
Another awesome fanfic done.
Graveyard shift is one of my favorite episodes of SpongeBob Squarepants and it was so funny how SpongeBob and Squidward were at the Krusty Krab during the shift. But it was scary hearing about the Hash-Slinging Slasher which was awesome. The episode aired on September 6th, 2002 and it was so funny. The first part of the chapter was for the movie Dungeons & Dragons 3: The Book of Vile Darkness and that was the scariest version of the series. The second part was for the 2018 movie and book series Mortal Engines and that was a really awesome series. Never saw the movie and book but it looked amazing and cool. Those moving cities are so cool! NicoChan11 gave me the ideas for this. Thanks guys. The next rescue for me is gonna be in the world of Flushed Away and me and the Regice Gene-Slammer are going to meet a Gremlin named Rem and she will have a Dugtrio Gene-Slammer named Lola Kirschkov from Poland. Lincoln's rescue will be in the world of the 1957 movie The Deadly Mantis and that is gonna be interesting to see. I hope you are ready for something crazy because we're going to be facing a terrible disease. But this disease comes from another planet and we're going to meet the aliens that Courage and Muriel helped out in the episode of Courage The Cowardly Dog called Courageous Cure and we're going to help these aliens get cured from a disease that is causing them to beat themselves up uncontrollably.
See you all tomorrow.
